Wildest Bill is Haunting Me

[C Thompson]

Whats going on with Wildest Bill, is he gone forever? He calls everyday wanting to get back on the dope. Wanting me to be his sock puppet. This nut is driving me crazy. I know this isn’t your problem but I told him I’d make one last plea for his right to post. If not, let it be and I’ll never mention his name again and he’ll get off my Back. So Bill when you read this and I know you will. Leave me the fuck alone!

PS We all know he’s all talk and no balls anyway.

[Francesca]

Bargepole anyone?

[Helen's Eidolon]

I was gonna say "Huh?", but then I read Fran's post.

Now I say "Double huh?"

[Francesca]

As in "I wouldn't touch it with a ..."

[Ferrous]

Huh?3

[Eve]

Wildest Bill? Me an' the other old-timers are rockin' on the front porch wonderin' when Melin and Satan are a-goin' to show up again . . .

[Dr_Paprika]

Probably just the ghost of a Texas ladies' man. Go back to sleep.

[ElvisL1ves]

I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole, either.

[Maeglin]

Wildest Bill? Me an' the other old-timers are rockin' on the front porch wonderin' when Melin and Satan are a-goin' to show up again . . .

Can I wait on the porch, too? I'll bring the shotguns and the malt liquor.

[Ukulele Ike]

Long as you got a shotgun for each of us. Them's three asses I'd like to see peppered with buckshot.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Originally posted by Francesca
As in "I wouldn't touch it with a ..."

I thought you meant--"Stick a bargepole up his"... :D

[Soul Brother Number Two]

i, for one, miss the guy. he seriously cracked me up. mexican fat burners, hee hee. i especially liked it when he got real upset and his carefully attached semi-illiterate moron mask slipped.

[Jonathan Chance]

Buckshot my ass.

A true country boy knows real fun is sitting on the porch, in a rocker, stingin' 'em with a BB gun.

I'll bring the beer.

[astro]

Originally posted by essvee
i especially liked it when he got real upset and his carefully attached semi-illiterate moron mask slipped.

I missed that one! Please link that thread if possible!

[Ukulele Ike]

Oh, hell. He let that slip a lot. I think he was in real life the President of Harvard College.

Jon! Watch it! You'll put your damn EYE out with that thing!

[Hamlet]

I promise to wear my best overalls, and I'll bring the chaw, a bottle of moonshine, and my first cousin. I want on that porch 'right soon.

[Biggirl]

Now this is weird. My son (who is a regular lurker) and I were just telling my daughter about Wildest Bill, like maybe an hour ago. We even pulled up that GQ thread. The one with the classic Wildest Bill subject line. It was. . . umm. . . let me check--





Alright I'm back. It was: Would Are Eco Sytem Be OK If We Extincted Mosquitos.


So he's haunting me too. Only I don't need a gun like Mr. Thompson there.

[TV time]

C Thompson, if that is indeed your name, I I were you, I would step aside and not get between the afore-mentioned varmit and the people on that porch. It might not be healthy.


(coding fixed. -- Uke)

[Edited by Ukulele Ike on 11-28-2001 at 08:58 PM]

[waterj2]

Originally posted by Biggirl
Alright I'm back. It was: Would Are Eco Sytem Be OK If We Extincted Mosquitos.
Actually, Bill didn't capitalize the K in OK, either. It was just "Ok".

[El_Kabong]

Whats going on with Wildest Bill, is he gone forever? He calls everyday wanting to get back on the dope. Wanting me to be his sock puppet.

Wow, what a privilege. And so considerate of your membership status.

::runs down to basement and starts frantically loading shotgun shells with rock salt::

[Ukulele Ike]

Originally posted by Biggirl
Only I don't need a gun like Mr. Thompson there.


How about a Thompson gun?


Gotcha ya!

[Guinastasia]

I liked his thread about how the US is too strict on laws concerning prescription drugs.

[C Thompson]

As I sit in panic with my tail between my legs under the porch!


PLEASE THROW ME A BONE AND POUR ME A LITTLE MALT WHILE YOUR AT IT!

[SterlingNorth]

I haven't had coffee and bagel yet, so I may still be having those pineapple pizza induced dreams, but I swear that this thread is about Wildest Bill haunting someone.


I should get my coffee, now.

[TwistofFate]

Another for the old timers


I AM THE LOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEERRRROOOCCCKKK!!!!!!

[Biggirl]

Wildest Bill was no where near as irritating as some of our former friends. Then again, he's not calling me up and asking me to be his puppet.

Does anyone remember: Hillary Clinton has a fat ass! A FAT AAAASSSSS!

[Sofa King]

I miss Bill. He was the finest humorist to ever flick his lighter to the "Freebird" that is this message board.

[Munch]

Originally posted by Biggirl
So he's haunting me too. Only I don't need a gun like Mr. Thompson there.

You're going to need an old priest and a young priest for that malady.

I will always love the phrase, "Gotcha ya!"

[Why A Duck]

Originally posted by C Thompson
Whats going on with Wildest Bill, is he gone forever? He calls everyday wanting to get back on the dope

We traced the call. It's coming from inside your house!


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[seawitch]

OK, you guys get the buckshot ready. Just in case, I have some alternate ammo here.

::rummaging in bag::

Um...a slingshot and a bag of marbles, two squirtguns filled with holy water, a flamethrower, a couple of rounds of silver buckshot, a Dungeons and Dragons manual on banishing spells, a wooden stake, a Holy Hand Grenade, a big butterfly net and straitjacket, some thumb cuffs, a clove of garlic, a prepubescent altar boy, and a computer keyboard with CRTL, ALT, and DELETE marked with red dots.

Help yourselves. There's plenty to go around.

[El_Kabong]

We traced the call. It's coming from inside your house!


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(obligatory mention of coffee jetting out nose in laughter)

[shelbo]

Originally posted by Munch

I will always love the phrase, "Gotcha ya!"

That is my WB favorite memory, followed closely by the thread asking whether he should see a doctor when he was in severe pain after having two motorcycles land on him.

[heresiarch]

Hmm... I've heard of Wildest Bill, but I don't remember any of his specific posts. Maybe I'll look some up for the entertainment value.

But if he's calling you and harassing you every day, it sounds to me like he's an inconsiderate pest and not the kind of person the mods should or would reinstate.

There are other message boards on the internet (so I've been told), maybe if you pointed him at one he'd quit humping your leg.

[D18]

So what's he like, eh?

Bill welcomed me (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64089#post1202559) to the boards, and gave me this warning:

Have fun posting here and I hope you never end up in the pit(take this from someone that knows). Sometimes it gets a bit hot in there.

A little hot, indeed!

[Moirai]

Originally posted by heresiarch

maybe if you pointed him at one he'd quit humping your leg.

Bwaaaahaaaaahaaa! Oh my God, that was worth the price of admission! Cookie crumbs all over me!

[medstar]

I've got to admit, I miss Wildest Bill. Yes, his posts were inflammatory, his reasoning had quite a few holes, but goshdarnit, he was amusing!! For those of you who were virulent anti-Wildest Bill, isn't possible that you're over-reacting? Couldn't you just have ignored him when he got too impossible? By the way, could Wildest Bill be allowed back in if he emailed the Admin staff, apologized, and promised to be a good boy this time?

[Fenris]

OH yeah.

Wildest Bill was loads o' fun.

Unless you happened to be Jewish (good bargainers and so thrifty too!!), female (slut/bitch), gay (just needs a good woman), a lawyer ("scumsucking"), a cop (don't remember the specific vitrol), a member of the A.C.L.U. ("Anti-Christ Liberal(?) Union") or any other group that WB had a problem with.

Other than those and many others, he was just a bundle o' laughs. Maybe we can invite a Klansman in to share his opinions of blacks while we're at it.

:rolleyes:

Fenris

[Jester]

What thread was "Gotcha ya!" from? I remember seeing it in someone's sig and laughing may ass off over it, but I could never find it in his old threads. Care to enlighten me as to the whereabouts as to one of the best sayings ever on the boards?

[Ell]

Originally posted by Jester
What thread was "Gotcha ya!" from? I remember seeing it in someone's sig and laughing may ass off over it, but I could never find it in his old threads. Care to enlighten me as to the whereabouts as to one of the best sayings ever on the boards?

I Am Going To Blow People Mind's At My Funeral (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=80870)

[Una Persson]

Calling you? And how does he have your phone number? :confused:

[erislover]

I miss Bill big time. He was one hell of a ride. Doesn't mean, Fenris, that I disagree with his banning, before you roll your eyes too far back in your head ;)

[Super Gnat]

Out of sheer and unabated curiosity *the type that kills cats*, why did Satan get kicked out? I don't think I was *here* when he was, but I remember seeing him in this long and rambling debate about Jesus at the Time Magazine website... it was a while ago, back when they were doing that man of the millenium thing... anyways, if it's a tender spot, nev mind.

*chuckles under breath* Wildest Bill...