I'm a real doper now. [Archive] - Straight Dope Message Board

The Mermaid

11-29-2001, 11:26 PM

I was called a "puddle of distended rectal filth".
in this Pit thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1871238#post1871238).

I got called bad, not-so-good names by not one but two people - in the Pit no less. I feel so special now I think may swoon.

I'm rubber you're glue....

Ogre

11-29-2001, 11:40 PM

Dammit, I'm not a real Doper! I've never gotten into any extended flame wars. I once had a thoughtful, mildly vitriolic exchange with Snooooopy, and I think Mr. Cynical once called me a fool, but that's about it.

Behold the power of mediocrity! I feel like Willie Loman.

Ogre

11-29-2001, 11:42 PM

Congrats, by the way, I think.

Behold the power of self-absorption. :)

Rysdad

11-29-2001, 11:55 PM

Originally posted by The Mermaid
I was called a "puddle of distended rectal filth".

Distended rectal filth is the worst. Solidified rectal filth is better. That's why people say, "You'd better get your shit together."

It's important to keep your poop in a group.

techchick68

11-29-2001, 11:58 PM

It's important to keep your poop in a group.

Now that's f**kin hilarious!

BTW Mermaid, you've always been a Doper now you need to attend a DopeFest and really show your love for being a Doper.

Gyrate

11-30-2001, 07:30 AM

ShibbOleth

11-30-2001, 07:38 AM

Originally posted by techchick68

BTW Mermaid, you've always been a Doper now you need to attend a DopeFest and really show your love for being a Doper.

She's already RSVP'd for the Cincinnati leg of DopeToYourDoorTM! We can scarce wait to meet this alleged "puddle of distended rectal filth".

Superdude

11-30-2001, 07:57 AM

Originally posted by The Mermaid
I was called a "puddle of distended rectal filth".
in this Pit thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1871238#post1871238).

I got called bad, not-so-good names by not one but two people - in the Pit no less. I feel so special now I think may swoon.

Congrats, Mermaid! Looks like you and I both have lost our cherry (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=101645). The part that really stood out was when I was told:
...taking a break from you puerile antics to come pass your trifling judgment on the quality of my pit thread. Perhaps if I had been less diplomatic and more inflamatory it would have been less mediocre in thine eyes? Would you like to be called an eruptive spastic colon, or did you have something else in mind?

I'm now a full-fledged member!
Hehehehe...I said "member."

TroubleAgain

11-30-2001, 08:22 AM

Gosh, Mermaid and Superdude, I though you were both real dopers all along. I though I was, too! I guess not, though, until I've been cursed in the Pit....

The Mermaid

11-30-2001, 08:38 AM

Hey Superdude

You know that sounds like a great name for a dildo.

Mmmmmm Superdude Dildo. Yep works for me

sounds much nicer than either the dried cat tongue dildo or the wild badger dildo. :p

BoBettie

11-30-2001, 09:05 AM

I got told I need mental help (like, really?? Newsflash!)

Does that make ME a real doper?

Zette

Gorgon Heap

11-30-2001, 09:16 AM

You know, I've been feeling pretty good about myself. I just beat 200 posts yesterday -- took me months. I've met lost of Dopers in person at Dope dinners and am planning heavily for the upcoming NYC Dopefest.

I now realize it was all a sham. Everyone likes me, so I obviously have no prayer for becoming a "real" Doper in your eyes. I feel dirty.

Hell, the other day I called a bunch of people delusional, whiny children with no respect for others and are worthy of nothing but being ignored -- in Cafe -- and only one person commented on a single part of my post, and not the part where I was derisive.

This is dreadful. I need to piss somebody off.

belladonna

11-30-2001, 09:19 AM

::reads Superdude's link::

Jiminy Crickets! Mentioned in the Pit! Whatever shall I do?
:rolleyes:

I was in the thread The Mermaid got it in too, but escaped before the filth-slinging began. World Eater was acting like an ass, and the discussion quickly went downhill after his "yeast infected hatchets" remark. Classy.

As to Waverly's thread--I thought about elbowing in and defending myself a bit, but Superdude seems to have already taken care of that. (thankyou!) Besides which, judging from the speed with which it devolved into a dildo-naming contest, I really don't think anyone cared overly much about the subject of the OP.
Like you said Mermaid, I think it just means we're special. Yeah, that's it. Out of the thousands of posts to read here, they cared enough to comment on ours. ::Sigh::

Zette--I think that definitely counts. Schizo!

Oops
gotta go now pEEps, N'Sync on MTV RIGHT NOW!!, ther soooooo kewlies!

bella--whose preteen days are far behind, and best forgotten

Superdude

11-30-2001, 09:37 AM

Originally posted by belladonna
...but Superdude seems to have already taken care of that. (thankyou)...

Aw...you're quite welcome. I have milliseconds of chivalry, where I have to stick up for people. 'ts why I became a superhero.

Frodo

11-30-2001, 09:54 AM

Originally posted by The Mermaid
Hey Superdude

You know that sounds like a great name for a dildo.

Mmmmmm Superdude Dildo. Yep works for me

sounds much nicer than either the dried cat tongue dildo or the wild badger dildo. :p

OH NO!!!! :eek: It´s Spreading! it's everywhere!, nuke this thread! NUKE IT!

Rysdad

11-30-2001, 10:08 AM

Originally posted by Gorgon Heap
This is dreadful. I need to piss somebody off.

What the hell are you doing here when you should be attending to your post partum wife and brand new baby daughter, you, you, bad guy!

Welcome to Doperville. :)

Rysdad

11-30-2001, 10:15 AM

Originally posted by Frodo
Originally posted by The Mermaid
Hey Superdude

You know that sounds like a great name for a dildo.

Mmmmmm Superdude Dildo. Yep works for me

sounds much nicer than either the dried cat tongue dildo or the wild badger dildo. :p

OH NO!!!! :eek: It´s Spreading! it's everywhere!, nuke this thread! NUKE IT!

There's more. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=101645)

Gorgon Heap

11-30-2001, 10:34 AM

Rysdad, I'm Army. I must work.

See? SDMB is my work! :D

mouthbreather

11-30-2001, 10:55 AM

Originally posted by Ogre
Dammit, I'm not a real Doper! I've never gotten into any extended flame wars. I once had a thoughtful, mildly vitriolic exchange with Snooooopy, and I think Mr. Cynical once called me a fool, but that's about it.

Behold the power of mediocrity! I feel like Willie Loman.

Shutup, you drippy fucksicle. The only reason no one has ever flamed you is the same reason you wouldn't spend any time insulting a ant that bit you. You're simple and one mental step above a rock -- No one has flamed you because it would be a waste of words and thought, and you would just drool and giggle like you usually do.

Feel better?

Ogre

11-30-2001, 11:04 AM

Originally posted by mouthbreather
Originally posted by Ogre
Dammit, I'm not a real Doper! I've never gotten into any extended flame wars. I once had a thoughtful, mildly vitriolic exchange with Snooooopy, and I think Mr. Cynical once called me a fool, but that's about it.

Behold the power of mediocrity! I feel like Willie Loman.

Shutup, you drippy fucksicle. The only reason no one has ever flamed you is the same reason you wouldn't spend any time insulting a ant that bit you. You're simple and one mental step above a rock -- No one has flamed you because it would be a waste of words and thought, and you would just drool and giggle like you usually do.

Feel better?

drool...giggle

Weirddave

11-30-2001, 11:08 AM

Heu, wait a minute, mb. I drool and giggle all the time. You told me that was what all the cool kids do!

Frodo

11-30-2001, 11:15 AM

Originally posted by Rysdad
Originally posted by Frodo
Originally posted by The Mermaid
Hey Superdude

You know that sounds like a great name for a dildo.

Mmmmmm Superdude Dildo. Yep works for me

sounds much nicer than either the dried cat tongue dildo or the wild badger dildo. :p

OH NO!!!! :eek: It´s Spreading! it's everywhere!, nuke this thread! NUKE IT!

There's more. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=101645)

I thought that the dread Bizarre-Dildo epidemy started with just that thread.... or there is another thread infected with this blight...(shudders)

mouthbreather

11-30-2001, 11:21 AM

Shhhh! Never reveal the secrets of the drooly-tron clan to all of these unwashed dopers! Who are you? Prank call! Prank Call!

GingerOfTheNorth

11-30-2001, 12:37 PM

If all it takes to be a real doper is being flamed, well, I got called a snob. That's funny!

I also drool and giggle. Although not as much as Weirddave does.

Zanshin

11-30-2001, 04:22 PM

If getting flamed makes you a Doper, then sign me up. My first flame not too long ago I remember like it was yesterday... I got called a crowd-following wannabe. Ha, how silly that is, huh, guys? I'd never follow the crowd... I'm an individual, I'm the WIND, baby... Aren't you guys listening? C'mon, I'm talking here!

Hey, where are you all going? Can I come too? GUYS???

<crickets>

:D

My Darn Snake Legs

11-30-2001, 04:38 PM

Hey! I got a little flamed too! Granted it was a pretty piss poor rant, but I think it still counts!

Whee! I'm a Doper now!

--==The Doped-up sax man==--

My Darn Snake Legs

11-30-2001, 04:40 PM

Geeze! My sig is longer than my post! :)

Ferrous

11-30-2001, 04:48 PM

Hmm, the worst thing anyone's said about me is that I may be "pretty naive". Does that count? Am I a real Doper now?

Superdude

11-30-2001, 04:58 PM

Originally posted by Ferrous
Hmm, the worst thing anyone's said about me is that I may be "pretty naive". Does that count? Am I a real Doper now?

Alas, Ferrous, not until you've been teabagged by thinksnow, and cleavaged by jarbabyj. To have your Doper training wheels removed, as it were.

Maeglin

11-30-2001, 05:00 PM

I wrote some posts offering my dildo suggestions. Does that make me a real doper?

Oh, and here are some more:

three ring binder dildo
oil rig dildo
m1 abrams tank tread dildo

Ferrous

11-30-2001, 05:09 PM

Originally posted by Superdude
Alas, Ferrous, not until you've been teabagged by thinksnow, and cleavaged by jarbabyj. To have your Doper training wheels removed, as it were.
Oh, actually, I did come up against thinksnow in the Pit recently. He said AutoCAD is for sissies, and I challenged him to a duel.

Hmm..."cleavaged by jarbabyj"... Now THAT sounds like fun!

clayton_e

11-30-2001, 05:44 PM

Ouch, that's harsh. Not as bad as mine:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=99626

clayton_e

11-30-2001, 05:53 PM

Oops, sorry, must be the lack of sleep. I ment "your's is worse than mine" in that that's gotta hurt. Sorry bout that.

Payne N. Diaz

11-30-2001, 07:43 PM

Crunchy Frog once called me a "pain in the ass"!
Can I join the club, too?

(of course, he calls everyone that...)

Snooooopy

11-30-2001, 10:55 PM

Ogre

12-03-2001, 09:37 AM

Originally posted by Snooooopy
Originally posted by Ogre
Dammit, I'm not a real Doper! I've never gotten into any extended flame wars. I once had a thoughtful, mildly vitriolic exchange with Snooooopy, and I think Mr. Cynical once called me a fool, but that's about it.

Did we? About what?

Ehhh, we had words about the nature of the Pit or some crap. It was over in about four posts.

The Asbestos Mango

12-03-2001, 01:03 PM

No, The Mermaid, you became a real doper the day you won the award for creating the first new euphemism for sex of the twenty-first century.

Bow-wow-chicka-chicka-boom-boom
Bow-wow-chicka-chicka-boom-boom
Bow-wow-chicka-chicka-boom-boom
Bow-wow-chicka-chicka-boom-boom
Bow-wow-chicka-chicka-boom-boom

Palmyra

12-06-2001, 05:09 PM

Geeze! My sig is longer than my post!

EDIT TIME!!! Get out your eraser!!

Hey! I got a little flamed too! Granted it was a pretty piss poor rant, but I think it still counts!

You should here what gets said at band parties.....