Favorite pimple stories (maybe TMI)

[MercyStreet]

Medstar, the heck with the mining degree. I say we script this thing, apply for an NEA grant, and hit the road.

Poreformance art for the masses!

[medstar]

I like your thinking, MercyStreet. After the six month road show, we get a TV show which lasts for seven years, enough for syndication, which gets us our first fortune. Then we write, produce and direct 10 motion pictures. And to think it all started with a thread full of zit stories.

[hammerbach]

I definatly think that she should do a movie for herself.
I can see it now : The Pimple from Outer Space!!! AHHHHHHH!!!
It's coming to get us all!!!!

[ajlilhammer225]

You rule Broomstick!! I wanna start the fanclub!!!

[Miss Magic8ball]

Had one IN my eyebrow once... couldn't really see it, as it was covered with hair, but everytime I raised my eyebrow when someone said or did something stupid(I'm still in high school, so believe me, that was often) I would feel it... it was almost painful.

So, that night, I decided to make it go away. I pop it, and out comes a nice, plentiful amount of pimple juice. But that wasn't all... oh no. About 12 of my eyebrow hairs came out too... It took almost a month to grow back in... People asked me if I had an accident with a razor...

[Enola Straight]

I just popped a blackhead on the little bump that surrounds the entrance to the ear.

The zit butter came out a rather odd color; opaque, and bright yellow, like a daffodil.

The most strange thing about the butter is the consistency; not smooth and creamy, but having a definite chalky, almost gritty feel.

What causes it? Fossilized skin cells or fossilized pus?

[Isabelle]

I noticed my first zits when I was in the 7th grade. It was during gym class and somehow I found myself in the locker room alone. I looked in the mirror and saw 2 zits on my nose and they were filled with green gook. I didn't know what to do but to pop them. There was a loud snap and then ooze. It was gross. I am scarred for life over this.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Isabelle may be on to something. Coldfire, were you scarred by snapping & oozing zits? :)

[Enright3]

Hey, it's been six months. Why not resurrect this thread again? After all, I got two great sigs from it.

E3

[BobLibDem]

My most memorable zit was a blackhead on my hip that I swear was there for a couple years. Try as I might to squeeze, nothing happened. Just kept getting bigger and itchier. Finally, inspiration struck. I took a large paper clip, and bent it to get a digging tool. To my surprise, I was able to poke my surgical tool into that clogged pore UP TO THE BEND IN THE PAPER CLIP!. I scraped that clip around the outside of that pore, and then squeezed. Much like hardened toothpaste, it slowly came out of that pore in one large lump roughly the size of a pistachio nut. I marvelled at that precious lump for a moment, smelling its waxy perfume. Finally I crushed and rolled it between my fingers, and put it to my nostrils to such in that precious dead bacterial aroma. Then it was over. Did I have the mother lode? Sadly, that pore has never again borne fruit.

[fishbicycle]

Wow, I read this whole thread in one sitting! I didn't know people talked about this stuff, or even enjoyed it! I love you guys!

Well, since this has been resurrected, I've had some pretty nasty pimples, some on my back (where I couldn't reach them), and some on my face. I remember having a lump inside my right cheek, about a finger's width over from my nose, for what must have been three or four years. It would never come to a head, nothing would come out of it. Then one day... a white head appeard in the center of it. So I went to work.

Clear fluid, then clear fluid mixed with blood, and god, it hurt!. Then some pus, and finally I could see a column of hardened, waxy stuff. This required painful squeezing and digging to get it out in little bits, and then it would recede back into the hole. Squeezing with tremendous force, all of a sudden, there was an audible pop! and the mirror was covered in clear fluid, blood, and the core of this pimple, which was mashed into the center of the mirror, sticking outward. It must have been half an inch long and the diameter of spaghetti, with a bulbous end.

[Roseanne Roseannadanna] Eeeeew, that stoff came outta me???!!! [/Roseanne...]

Not long after it seemed to stop bleeding, I could see another column of white stuff hiding in the center of the hole. More squeezing, fluid, blood, little bits, then POW! Another one, even bigger than the first one, all over the mirror again! I couldn't believe it! That was the end of it. It took awhile to heal up, and there is a hole where it used to be, but it never came back.

Thanks to my wife, who likes to go looking on my back for pimples, I haven't had any serious eruptions on my back since I got married.

Now, as for pimple goo that is colored something other than yellowish white, or smells like rotting meat - now THAT is GROSS!!

More, more!

[Gazelle]

Why do I love this thread so?


::sighing peacefully::

[hybrid_dogfish]

Oh Coldfire, your favourite thread's back!! :D

Whilst I cant top the tales of zit related enjoyment, I will provide you lucky people with an up-to-date link to the (or is it THE one, it has the same filename, and I can't believe there can be that many of these things around)BIG ZIT VID (http://www.skitzo.dk/downloads/video/bigzitdswe.wmv) .

[Tiburon]

Jesus wept.

[Grimace]

You know, I resisted posting to this thread the last couple of times it was ressurected, but finally my strength to not post has crumbled. So here's a couple of mine!

I have a few of the 'Motherload' zits. I can mine those suckers like clockwork every other month and get some nice results.

I also get these, well, for lack of a better term, we'll call them, Blackhead Farms. These appear below my armpit, where the hair ends. 20-30 tiny blackheads. Oh, JOY! Always gives me something to blow an hour or so with getting rid of em all.

The strangest one I've ever had, formed on my inner thigh last year. It hurt like an SOB, and when I finally got home to check it out, there was this HUGE red zit. So I get the fingers into position on either side of it, and give a nice strong squeeze, and there's this HUGE 'SPLORT' into my hand of a whole bunch of runny puss and a hard core of zit material.

Well, being the inquisitive person I am, I looked closer at the hard core, and realized it was the hair follicle. It had filled up with the hard zit core and came out when I squeezed. I was able to pull the core out of the 'skin' of the follicle.

Yes folks, I made a 'Zit Sausage'!

(And anyone want to take bets on If Coldy is gonna finally shut this thread down if he has to slog through it again?)

[Lynn Bodoni]

And anyone want to take bets on If Coldy is gonna finally shut this thread down if he has to slog through it again? Hey, if I have to have sports threads in the Pit, I see no reason why ClogBoy shouldn't have threads about clogged pores in HIS forum.

Besides, Broomstick's saga is a classic, and should be required reading.

My contribution to zit classification: sometimes the fine hairs will not shed, but stay in the pores along with the newer hairs that grow to replace them. Even the most avid exfoliator can develop these accumulations. It is my duty and pleasure to remove them from anyone who comes within range of my tweezers. Afterwards, I generally show the plug to my victim, and then gently press it with the tweezers, which makes it disintegrate into the individual hairs which were bound together by dry oil and dead skin cells. These lumps can generally be found on the back and on the sides of the nose.

[Baker]

Lynn, I love posts like yours! If I was a guy I'd propose! :p

[Avarie537]

Anybody else think that the Big Zit video sounds and even looks something like the end of a porn movie?

[FilmGeek]

My boyfriend had what we both thought was a cyst on his back for months. It started to form a head one day, so I offered to pop it for him. It was about a half inch circle about a quarter of an inch thick.

I worked on it for weeks, getting strings of foul smelling pus and blood. One day, I took my thumb and pressed down with it using all my body weight. It exploded under his skin. I squeezed again and got a ton of pus and blood all over my glasses. For the next week, I squeezed on it every day, most days getting showers of pus at least two feet in the air.

He's still got scar tissue under his skin, but the lump makes his tattoo bulge nicely (the knee of his tattooed elf from elfquest is right over the lump).

[KarlGrenze]

My boyfriend had what we both thought was a cyst on his back for months. It started to form a head one day, so I offered to pop it for him. It was about a half inch circle about a quarter of an inch thick.

I worked on it for weeks, getting strings of foul smelling pus and blood. One day, I took my thumb and pressed down with it using all my body weight. It exploded under his skin. I squeezed again and got a ton of pus and blood all over my glasses. For the next week, I squeezed on it every day, most days getting showers of pus at least two feet in the air.

He's still got scar tissue under his skin, but the lump makes his tattoo bulge nicely (the knee of his tattooed elf from elfquest is right over the lump).

Did he do that on purpose, or was the tattoo already there when the cyst formed?

[medstar]

You know, I resisted posting to this thread the last couple of times it was ressurected, but finally my strength to not post has crumbled. So here's a couple of mine!

I have a few of the 'Motherload' zits. I can mine those suckers like clockwork every other month and get some nice results.

I also get these, well, for lack of a better term, we'll call them, Blackhead Farms. These appear below my armpit, where the hair ends. 20-30 tiny blackheads. Oh, JOY! Always gives me something to blow an hour or so with getting rid of em all.

The strangest one I've ever had, formed on my inner thigh last year. It hurt like an SOB, and when I finally got home to check it out, there was this HUGE red zit. So I get the fingers into position on either side of it, and give a nice strong squeeze, and there's this HUGE 'SPLORT' into my hand of a whole bunch of runny puss and a hard core of zit material.

Well, being the inquisitive person I am, I looked closer at the hard core, and realized it was the hair follicle. It had filled up with the hard zit core and came out when I squeezed. I was able to pull the core out of the 'skin' of the follicle.

Yes folks, I made a 'Zit Sausage'!

(And anyone want to take bets on If Coldy is gonna finally shut this thread down if he has to slog through it again?)


Grimace, your post is very timely. I'm just getting over a nasty inner thigh zit. Like yours, mine hurt quite a lot. It's an awful feeling when the entire zit brushes the inside of your slacks material and aches. Anyway, last week I'd had enough and started putting warm wet compresses on the zit until it came to a head. This zit was in such an awkward place, I had to use a hand mirror to make sure it was ready to pop. When it was ready, I wrapped toilet paper around two finges on each hand (for leverage) and squeezed for about 30 seconds, changing position every few seconds until I found the most favorable position.

Oh.My.God. I make sure to exfoliate all over my body regularly so I wasn't expecting what I found. Of course, there was bloody white pus splorching all over the shower wall. But the core of the zit was a tightly wound ball of several hairs doubled over each other. Sick as I am, I smoothed out the hairs and measured them. They were all about 2-3 inches long. I swear the ball looked like a golf ball that had its outer covering removed. I washed the zit area and applied a coating of Neosporin on it, and then applied a large bandage to the area. It hurt a little bit at work the next day, but nothing like when it was coming to a head. There's nothing there now except some discoloration. I was expecting nerve damage, gangrene, some kind of major tissue damage from the amount of noxious goo exploding from my thigh. Does anyone have any advice on exfoliation techniques so that I don't get any more thigh zits?

[Marlitharn]

Shortly after my husband and I were married, he developed one of those excruciating inner thigh zits. It was at least 3 inches across and causing him a great deal of pain. While I was examining it to determine the best plan of attack, I noticed a single hair standing straight up out of the middle of the zit. Carefully I grasped the hair with my tweezers (he calls them my "implements of mass destruction") and pulled it out. Then I oh-so-gently placed a single finger next to the zit and gave the tiniest of pushes.


SPLORT!!!!!


"It's gone a gusher, boys!" I cried as a geyser of pressurized blood and pus rocketed a good 2 feet into the air. "Oooooo!" said our wide-eyed daughter, who was about 2 at the time. "Do it again, Mommy!" Being one who likes to indulge my children when I have the opportunity, I gave another, firmer, squeeze, and was rewarded with another spurt of gloop, nowhere near as impressive as the first one. Then I slapped some Prid salve and a Band-aid on it and put the daughter down for her nap. Sadly, my husband has yet to present me with another zit as entertaining as that one was. He does have a mother-lode pore on his back, though, and while it doesn't engage in spectacular eruptions, it's sometimes fun to see if I can get all the crud out in one unbroken lump.

[Doomtrain]

Oh, man, I get those thigh pimples every so often. Mine are fast growers, too. So I'll walk to class just fine, but some time during the day, I'll be walking around, and the boxer's'll brush just right and...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

But the worst part is, they take forever to get a head of any kind.

[elfbabe]

... okay, am I the ONLY one that only gets the docile sort of pimple, the kind that just ooze a little goo and then go away without making a bid for world domination?

[lisacurl]

I'm almost ashamed to admit that my heart leapt for joy when I saw this thread had been bumped up!

I love you guys.

[Hokkaido Brit]

Oh yes, Oh yesssss! The pimple thread is back! (Writhes with pleasure.) Coldfire-Sama, please don't lock it, even if it makes you heave...

I love those zits that don't form a head, but come up in a matter of hours and appear as a hot, red area of hardness. Then you give a tentative squeeze to see what it is and there is a CRACK! and then upon another squeezing a sort of "ruffle!" and a lot of white dryish fondant textured stuff comes out.

Does anyone else relive "Good Zits I Have Popped" when daydreaming? And sometimes wish you had approached them in a better manner? My best zit was one once in the corner of my nose which came up as the biggest lighthouse of a pimple during one morning. When I went to pop it, under all the pus, which was satisfying enough in itself, there was revealed a blackhead the size of Blackpool Pier. I squeezed it half out and then stopped to admire it in the mirror. BAD mistake, as then when I tried to get it out, it broke in half and ruined the aesthetic experience....

(Vomiting yet, Coldy??)

[Doomtrain]

... okay, am I the ONLY one that only gets the docile sort of pimple, the kind that just ooze a little goo and then go away without making a bid for world domination?

Well, yea, but those aren't as fun to talk about as the giant gushers of doom.

Actually, I'd support closing this thread if we started another people thread, a Part II, if you will.

[Doomtrain]

PIMPLE. Not people. Pimple. Though I imagine if we squeezed Coldie's head, some very colorful things would come out.

[Doomtrain]

Or, what if we could set up like a live feed for squeezings and excisings and lancings? We could cheer each other on, offer suggestions, tips, and encouragement.

Sorry to keep posting, but I was just reading through and thought this was a fabulous idea. I remember those disgusting operation shows that were on TLC a few years ago around dinnertime (and god help you if you were eating and channel surfing..."Stupid...seen it...stupid...AHHH IS THAT HIS LIVER?!?!...stupid") and this would be just perfect for that niche.

[KarlGrenze]

... okay, am I the ONLY one that only gets the docile sort of pimple, the kind that just ooze a little goo and then go away without making a bid for world domination?

Yea, I also get the docile kind. Dammit, sometimes I wish for bigger ones!

What's worse is when I'm with friends and I notice their pimples and zits, and I have the secret desire to just squeeze them...

[Lynn Bodoni]

Lynn, I love posts like yours! If I was a guy I'd propose! :p If you was a guy I might accept! I love baked goods! And you'd never have to worry about zits and blackheads accumulating on your back ever again. You'd be AMAZED at what I can remove with a good pair of tweezers.

Helpful tweezer buying hint: if you don't want to drop the bucks for a Tweezerman (but you should get a pair of Tweezerman at least once) then you can examine the other brands of tweezers. I find that the kind marketed as splinter tweezers tend to be the most accurate. However, don't just pick a pair off the rack. Examine the points closely. Squeeze them shut, and look aat how they meet. Even though the plastic blister is in the way, you can determine if the points are grossly out of alignment.

Tweezers are essential to zit popping, as many zits have a hair growing from the central pore. If this hair is tweezed out, quite frequently a lot of pus will come out with it. At the very least, the pus has an easy exit once the squeezing commences. I use my tweezers to remove blackheads, too. Many blackheads will extrude slightly from the skin, and a keen eye and steady hand can grasp the blackhead with a sharp pair of tweezers, and ease it out of the pore without any squeezing at all. I find that most pores will gape open for a while afterwards, but then will slow relax and close up. Generally I use an astringent to help clean out the pore and close it up. After some years of removing the blackheads from my nose, I've found that my nose pores are actually smaller, and don't tend to get nearly as many blackheads. I suppose it's because I remove the blackheads before they distend the pore too much, and now I can keep my skin cleaner.

[elfbabe]

Yea, I also get the docile kind. Dammit, sometimes I wish for bigger ones!

What's worse is when I'm with friends and I notice their pimples and zits, and I have the secret desire to just squeeze them...

You're all freaks! Freaks! :eek:

Now ingrown hairs, THOSE are fun to remove properly... Unfortunately, the boyfriend has learned to be wary of me with tweezers. Baby.

[Lynn Bodoni]

You're all freaks! Freaks! :eek:

Now ingrown hairs, THOSE are fun to remove properly... Unfortunately, the boyfriend has learned to be wary of me with tweezers. Baby. Snuggle up to him, with tweezers hidden in one hand. Maneuver him so that your body weight presses him down, and he can't get away. Now, produce tweezers and have fun. :D Unfortunately, this no longer works on my husband, but it did for quite a number of years.

[elfbabe]

Snuggle up to him, with tweezers hidden in one hand. Maneuver him so that your body weight presses him down, and he can't get away. Now, produce tweezers and have fun. :D

That requires the ability to actually pin him down, which I lack. He picks me up sometimes, just for fun. :rolleyes: I think I could probably handle A limb, but that's about it.

[GrizzRich]

I..... I'm........<sigh>

I just don't have the words.

It's been nearly three years and..........<deep breath>......this thread keeps rising from the dead!

I think we should nick-name this thread "Jason".

Not THERE was a guy with some skin problems!

[Scarlet]

I must relate the story of the hole in my leg.

A while back I developed an ingrown hair on my shin. No big deal, I get them all the time. But, this one was different, it would release the hair contained within, no matter what strategy I employed. Tweezers, needles, compresses, nothing could convince it to give up its treasure. It grew to gigantic proportions, standing nearly an inch off my leg and the circumference of a half dollar. The pain was nearly intolerable, it even hurt to walk.

Finally, my husband couldn't take my constant whimpers of pain and tried to drag me to the hospital to have it lanced. I have a horrific fear of hospitals, and there was no way I was going to go. I kicked, screamed and struggled until DH gave up on the idea. Little did I know, he had conceived another more fear inducing plan. He prepared his chamber of torture (the bathroom) carefully sterilizing his needles, tweezers and a razor blade; he laid out towels, gauze, peroxide and all other agents of antibacterial products. Then, he tricked me into entering the chamber.

I was immediately pinned to the floor and my festering wound washed. In a matter of moments, DH had removed the 3 inch long hair. A violent eruption of puss and blood exploded into the air and rained down all around us. "Stuff" came out of the ingrown from hell for a good 5 minutes worth of squeezing. I think the people in the next county over heard me scream. I'm suprised no one called the cops.

Every day for 2 weeks I was pinned down and it was cleaned. Today, I have a hole in my leg the size and thickness of a dime. Lovely. DH assures me that had I gone to the Dr. the hole would not exist.

[Doomtrain]

Lynn's dissertation on tweezers brought tears to my eyes. That was beautiful.

[Mama Tiger]

You know, I hate to say it, but I am jealous of you people who get these incredible pimples to squeeze. Jealous, I tell you! I haven't had a good squeeze-worthy pimple in years! And even if I do get an ingrown hair, it's barely even noticeable!

Sigh....I guess I'll just have to keep on living vicariously through you people. Although Lynn's ode to pimple tweezers makes me want to run out and get just the right pair in case I ever do get a good pimple again.....

[Clothahump]

Why don't you share your favorite pimple story with me?
-----------

I've got two.

1966 - taking the SATs as a senior. I'm seated about in the middle of the room. The guy in the chair in front of me is a walking zit factory. He has got zits on his zits, all over his head and neck. He's got a couple on the back of his neck that I swear are the size of chicken eggs. And just as the teachers start handing out the tests, one of them pops. I could hear it happen, and it squirted bloody pus all over the back of his shirt and his chair. Everyone around me was practically herniating with the effort of not laughing or hurling. About an hour later, the second one exploded with pretty much the same result. The girl seated next to me barfed all over the desk and her test and damn near got me in the backsplash. I still scored 1420, though.

1997 - my sweetie and I are in New Orleans. She's complaining of fever and a sore spot on her back. I check out her back and she's got a monster zit under her right shoulder blade. I put a hot compress on it and about 3 minutes later, it blew out. Turns out she had a major league cyst. I must have drained a pint of pus out of it that night. She had to have surgery to clean it out completely.

[Rabid_Squirrel]

Just in case anyone else want to find Enright3's link, it's here (http://www.skitzo.dk/downloads/video/bigzitdswe.wmv).

[jellytoes]

I...I love you guys *sniff*

Mr. Toes has all sorts of sebaceous cysts in many flavors and varieties. I can regularly go hunting on his back. And he does have a pilonidal cyst that flares up occasionally.

The worst/best was when the cyst developed a head about the size of a dime. Mr. Toes was begging me to burst it for about a week. I was a little concerned that maybe it was a job for an actually doctor not a mad-scientist in training (myself). But I'm a sucker for men who beg. Anyway, I armed him with a bottle of vodka and positioned him with his cyst pointing up. After a few painful squeezes the thing burst.

Pus/blood went shooting everywhere! The wall (about 10 feet away), the couch and everything in between was covered. The stench was indescribable.

When Mr. Toes stopped screeching, we had a heated arguement about whether I should gather the pus/blood up and take it into the lab to see if it grew into a sentient being. In the end we cleaned it up and threw out the gunk.

But next time. . . that goo is mine!

[DirkGntly]

Ok, I'm NEVER Googling Pilonidal Cyst (http://www.pilonidal.org/knowledgebase/pictures2.htm) again!! GAAAHHHH!!!

[Lynn Bodoni]

Ok, I'm NEVER Googling Pilonidal Cyst (http://www.pilonidal.org/knowledgebase/pictures2.htm) again!! GAAAHHHH!!! You big baby. My husband had a larger wound than the largest on that page (which they claim is exceptionally large). And I was the one who had to clean it and dress it twice or three times a day. It put me off hamburger meat for WEEKS, let me tell you.

[Miss Creant]

this is the best thread EVER!

[Lute Skywatcher]

But the worst part is, they take forever to get a head of any kind.Tell me about it. I had one and got tired of waiting so I just lanced the thing.

[Mirror Image egamI rorriM]

I once developed an allergy to my deodorant which caused me to have three or four huge, painful pimples in each armpit for quite a while. I switched brands, and they started to clear up, but it took forever. They kept reforming, and I would just have to pop them.

Right now my skin is breaking out, so I have quite a few zits to deal with, including three on the side of my nose. One won't pop, but one has already popped, and the third is in the soon to be poppable stage.

[Bimble]

OK...

I happen to be ...er.. A Bit on the Fuzzy Side from my waist down so I often spend a Happy Hour with a glass of wine and an epilator De-Fuzzing my lower gorilla-like half (the top of me is strangely completely Non-Fuzzy!!)

The upshot of this is that a couple of weeks later, I get THE worst crop of deeply ingrown hairs EVER!! And it's not Just Under the Surface Fellas either! These chaps are heading towards my damn KIDNEYS!!

So... is there ANYTHING I can do to prevent getting these very deep ingrown hairs? I mean, it's not like I don't thoroughly enjoy digging the little beggars out and then having a darn good popping session (and admiring the contents of the resulting hole (sorry "pit mine")...) but I'd REALLY love to be Non-Ingrown Hair Person in the first place!!

Exfoliating doesn't help any as the hair grows DOWN...

Any ideas anyone?

[Count Blucher]

I must relate the story of the hole in my leg.

A while back I developed an ingrown hair on my shin. No big deal, I get them all the time. But, this one was different, it would release the hair contained within, no matter what strategy I employed. Tweezers, needles, compresses, nothing could convince it to give up its treasure. It grew to gigantic proportions, standing nearly an inch off my leg and the circumference of a half dollar. The pain was nearly intolerable, it even hurt to walk.

Finally, my husband couldn't take my constant whimpers of pain and tried to drag me to the hospital to have it lanced. I have a horrific fear of hospitals, and there was no way I was going to go. I kicked, screamed and struggled until DH gave up on the idea. Little did I know, he had conceived another more fear inducing plan. He prepared his chamber of torture (the bathroom) carefully sterilizing his needles, tweezers and a razor blade; he laid out towels, gauze, peroxide and all other agents of antibacterial products. Then, he tricked me into entering the chamber.

I was immediately pinned to the floor and my festering wound washed. In a matter of moments, DH had removed the 3 inch long hair. A violent eruption of puss and blood exploded into the air and rained down all around us. "Stuff" came out of the ingrown from hell for a good 5 minutes worth of squeezing. I think the people in the next county over heard me scream. I'm suprised no one called the cops.

Every day for 2 weeks I was pinned down and it was cleaned. Today, I have a hole in my leg the size and thickness of a dime. Lovely. DH assures me that had I gone to the Dr. the hole would not exist.


You know, before this thread, I thought I was the only one to get 'Thigh Zits'. You are right: they are very painful and very hard to bring to the surface. My wife, who doesn't like me to help her with hers, has neither the finger strength nor the desire to help me with these. Now, before this thread, I didn't know that you could buy your own demotological 'popping' tools...so I have to use what's handy.

These thigh zits are recurring and the hair never comes out, so basically, I must suffer until there's enough to pop. And usually, this time passes painfully slowly. One day, whaen I was home by myself and when I had one that was particularly huge, stubborn, and Extremely Painful, I just went nuts from the pain. I went down into the basement, went over to the toolbench and grabbed out a pair of pliers. Then I dropped trou, grabbing the painful thigh zit with my otherhand. I squeezed behind the zit so that it 'bulbed' and then I lined up the pliers and squeezed for all I was worth.

I screamed in Dire Agony, but the agony was brief. And I Swear that I heard a ricochet off of a half empty paint can. But All of the puss and and puss-blood was gone, while the skin around it had taken on a corrigated texture. I wiped up as best I could with a kleenex & slapped a band-aid on it and went about my business.

[liirogue]

I went down into the basement, went over to the toolbench and grabbed out a pair of pliers. Then I dropped trou, grabbing the painful thigh zit with my otherhand. I squeezed behind the zit so that it 'bulbed' and then I lined up the pliers and squeezed for all I was worth.

I screamed in Dire Agony, but the agony was brief. And I Swear that I heard a ricochet off of a half empty paint can. But All of the puss and and puss-blood was gone, while the skin around it had taken on a corrigated texture. I wiped up as best I could with a kleenex & slapped a band-aid on it and went about my business.


:eek: Just :eek:

Have you tried it with other, smaller ones? Does it work?

[MaxTheVool]

[QUOTE=quietman1920]Then I dropped trou, grabbing the painful thigh zit with my otherhand. I squeezed behind the zit so that it 'bulbed' and then I lined up the pliers and squeezed for all I was worth.
[QUOTE]

Truly you are a man.

I once used the file on my swiss army knife to perform emergency dental surgery on myself while at work. But pliers, man... you rule.

[medstar]

OK...

I happen to be ...er.. A Bit on the Fuzzy Side from my waist down so I often spend a Happy Hour with a glass of wine and an epilator De-Fuzzing my lower gorilla-like half (the top of me is strangely completely Non-Fuzzy!!)

The upshot of this is that a couple of weeks later, I get THE worst crop of deeply ingrown hairs EVER!! And it's not Just Under the Surface Fellas either! These chaps are heading towards my damn KIDNEYS!!

So... is there ANYTHING I can do to prevent getting these very deep ingrown hairs? I mean, it's not like I don't thoroughly enjoy digging the little beggars out and then having a darn good popping session (and admiring the contents of the resulting hole (sorry "pit mine")...) but I'd REALLY love to be Non-Ingrown Hair Person in the first place!!

Exfoliating doesn't help any as the hair grows DOWN...


Bimble, I have a few suggestions:

1) You'll have to be very diligent about hair removal on a regular basis. How long does your hair get between sessions of your epilator? It might be that you'll have to increase your sessions so that the hair simply doesn't have a chance to grow long enough even to start to think of getting ingrown.

2) What is your method of exfoliation? If you scrub yourself with a tough loofah, you may be inflicting small tears in your skin which enable ingrown hairs. My suggestion is to mix a tablespoon of baking soda and an equal amount of shower gel in your hand, mix together and spread gently all over your afflicted areas. The baking soda grains are small enough to spread easily without effort. You should imagine polishing fine marble instead of scrubbing your kitchen floor. Rinse thoroughly, as the baking soda can be drying. You might want to buy Tend Skin (an exfoliating lotion) for your bikini area. Don't powder or apply lotions to your newly exfoliated skin for about 12 hours. This will give the pores in your skin time to calm down and you won't have to worry about clogging your pores.

3) My other suggestion is to let your hair grow out and leave it alone. Exfoliate about 2-3 times a week so as to get rid of excess skin cells clogging pores and exascerbating ingrown hairs.

Well! I hope you gleaned some helpful tips. Have fun plucking!

Any ideas anyone?[/QUOTE]

[liirogue]

Bimble, I have a few suggestions:
I'll add another... How good are you at using your epilator, and is it a good one? Epilators are notorious for breaking off hairs either close to or under the skin.

A good place for info on hair removal is http://www.hairfacts.com

[Daftbugger]

I've had many happy pimple experiences, but the one that really grosses people out are the ones in my ears. You see I'm mildly allergic to nickel. If I wear cheap earrings for an evening, the following day I get lumps around the hole. If I squeeze them, it ooozes through the piercing! Not popping necessary, I have a ready made hole!

[Tansu]

Bleurgh, Dafty, bleurgh!

I have found two new Motherlode Pores behind my SO's left ear. They bring forth an off-white sebaceous substance, like toothpaste coming out of a tube. I am happy.

[Daftbugger]

:) :) :) Yey, grossed someone out! Always willing to please!

[Count Blucher]

Hi. I need to ask an ear washing/pimple question (pliers only worked for Van Gogh there). Sometimes when I'm washing my face in the shower, I'll feel behinf my ears and it feels oily there. (which is damn silly as I washed them the day before, but I digress) So, I'll use the specialty face cleanser that cleans and drys anything.

Now here's the weird part: the next day, there is nothing oily behind my ear at all, yet there's a great big whitehead on it that looks/feels ready to pop. Now, why would deep cleaning an area cause a pimple...?

[MaxTheVool]

Hi. I need to ask an ear washing/pimple question (pliers only worked for Van Gogh there). Sometimes when I'm washing my face in the shower, I'll feel behinf my ears and it feels oily there. (which is damn silly as I washed them the day before, but I digress) So, I'll use the specialty face cleanser that cleans and drys anything.

Now here's the weird part: the next day, there is nothing oily behind my ear at all, yet there's a great big whitehead on it that looks/feels ready to pop. Now, why would deep cleaning an area cause a pimple...?

Sounds to me like you've discovered a way to dependably cause poppable whiteheads. Which, as I read it, many of the people in this thread would pay good money for...

[FilmGeek]

Ardred's tattoo was already in place when the cyst appeared, fyi, though having a tatt done over a scar is pretty cool... I might work that into my design for my arm.

Has anyone mentioned these zits? I get ones just inside my nostrils (or just under in the crease) that swell for days and hurt whenever I smile or talk or breathe. They're impossible to pop and are incredibly painful.

Any advice on these suckers?

[medstar]

Ardred's tattoo was already in place when the cyst appeared, fyi, though having a tatt done over a scar is pretty cool... I might work that into my design for my arm.

Has anyone mentioned these zits? I get ones just inside my nostrils (or just under in the crease) that swell for days and hurt whenever I smile or talk or breathe. They're impossible to pop and are incredibly painful.

Any advice on these suckers?

FilmGeek, my advice is to steam your face so as to allow the zit to come to a head and soften as much as possible. Then screw up whatever courage you have and squeeze that zit from several different angles. I've had those and they are incredibly painful, but they'll hang around forever if you don't do anything about them. As for ear pimples, I just make sure to rinse really well so as to get rid of trapped shampoo, conditioner, skin flakes, etc.

[Aureos]

Read these posts with the usual horrid fascination. And not only do I have a story for you, but I got pics!!!!! ooooohhhh Never ever give us digital cameras and demerol. You take pics of "interesting" things...

BTW, don't eat pizza while reading this...or spaghettios, or noodles, or definitely not split pea soup....

This one is a saga:

Oct 2003, I have a small lump on my back about 3 inches below bra strap. Doc says its a cyst and get it removed whenever. It decides to infect. I end up in ER room. Doc jabs repetitively with local anaesthesia then cuts me open. The smell is horrendous but the relief is great. They cut a lil hole about one inch wide and about 3 inches deep right next to my spine to get this thing taken care of. backhole (http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/aureeoles/detail?.dir=/7324&.dnm=d988.jpg) This is it with no stuffin! Then they cram as much gauze into this puppy as they can. This, of course, does not tickle. And looks like this: backstuffed (http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/aureeoles/detail?.dir=/7324&.dnm=8101.jpg) They have to do this to make it heal from the inside out. So you have to get it pulled out and repacked several times. They do NOT give drugs after the second time.

4 Repack Visits later to the ER room, I am given the go ahead to do a final follow up with a surgeon. They're guessing this is where what happened next started. Surgeon took look at it and said it was healing good and to let it close. No problem, YAY! About 4 days later, I have a small, very painful lump in my left arm pit. I think it might be pimple or hair or something...but its deep and hurts intensely. It's only pencil eraser sized. This is Wed. By Friday, its quarter sized and I can't even move the arm without wanting to cry. Find a different surgeon (one closer to my house) and get emergency appt. They try to needle aspirate.

For those of you who have not had the fantastic offer of needle aspiration on an already very painful lump....RUN if offered. Do not let them do this unless the first needle they stick in you has something like oh...demerol...morphine...a liquid sledgehammer. The nerves are already ticked off, and now you're going to repetitively stab it with a needle.....and whose bright idea was this??? I digress...

So surgeon needle aspirates and gets NOTHING except me whimpering. He puts me on antibiotics and gives me 20 demerol to go home with. Says he needs to see me or call him first thing next week and tell him the status if it is getting better or worse. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA He warns me it will get bigger and more painful before the antibiotics kick in and start helping. I take him for his word....(I'm a very literal kind of gal and will do anything to avoid the ER)

So on Friday my quarter sized lump is hurting, has new holes poked in it from aspiration and is, in general, very pissed off at me. I take my happy little demerols...they really are quite nifty. And I ignore the fact that by Saturday it is growing faster. How fast, you say? Well let's do a little comparison. Here's my good arm: goodarm (http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/aureeoles/detail?.dir=/7324&.dnm=953d.jpg) and here is my bad arm on Saturday badarm (http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/aureeoles/detail?.dir=/7324&.dnm=c633.jpg) Notice the arm is starting to swell.

Well...the doc did say it was going to hurt worse and it was going to get worse...technically this was worse. *lol* So I went to a party that weekend, demerol makes parties fun. Sunday I was not feeling so good. No, I did not ingest anything but coke as liquids. I was just getting that sick. By Monday, this thing was going ballistic and I was thinking I might be in trouble...but hey...the doc was going to be in on Tuesday. Mine as well wait till then....right?

So Tuesday comes and my arm TuesdayBad (http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/aureeoles/detail?.dir=/7324&.dnm=d3d7.jpg) is really starting to look sickly. Blood vessels showing funny, horrible swelling, I'm running fevers. And of course, I measured it. It's about 4X2X1 and hangs off my arm. I call surgeon and get an immediate appt. Call in dead to work (they were not aware of what was going on, they just thought I had a sore arm). I go to Surgeon. He takes one look and says I need to go to hospital and get IV's. I say no...I need him to cut this open and fix it. He and I "discuss" this. I win. I like him :) I didn't like him a couple minutes later. I get shot up, they cut it open and it was like watching the pus version of Old Faithful erupt. I swear it looked and smelled like rotten split pea soup. Doc says it was a staph infection (later testing proved it to be an MRSA-methicillin resistant staph aureus infection - ironic isn't it with my nickname?)

They pack it to force it to stay open. Send me home to come back next day to repack. Surgeon and I compromised that if it wasn't better in 3 days with noticeable improvement I admitted myself to hospital. So Wednesday, I go to surgeon's office and the nurse "preps" me. Part of prepping is to remove the bandage covering the wound. When we do this, the gauze crammed in the hole stuck to it. It came out. Now I'm sitting upright, and all of a sudden there is a great release of pressure under my arm, its gross, smells and the nurse throws a drop cloth under me, shoves me back in a laying position and leaves the room at a run. This inspires confidence. In the meantime, I am fascinated by the power of this infection. Staph infections are *MASSIVE* producers of pus. And this thing is practically spurting every time I inhaled. It was nifty yet...gross. So I start pushing on the outer edges of it forcing it to expel it all out. This was the same thing the doctor had done the day before. In the meantime, the nurse comes back with another nurse in tow. She takes one look and leaves the room. Next the receptionist comes in and takes a peek. Leaves the room muttering "revolting" under her breath (did I mention this didn't affect my hearing at all??) Finally the surgeon comes in. He watches me doing my little push job and asks me if I'm having fun. I said "sure, who knew the body could do this??" He said that I was "a unique patient". I think it was supposed to be a compliment. *blank look*

So my arm now is massively swollen, has a hole cut into it and is mass producing pus. WedGross (http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/aureeoles/detail?.dir=/7324&.dnm=a479.jpg) It's soooo pretty. Work is pitching a fit. So I took my supervisor into the bathroom and asked her to "help me" change the bandage. Did you know that watching your supervisor gag can be a very fulfilling exercise? Especially when they swallow hard repetitively and do that close the eyes, take a deep breath thing. What's even better is taking a deep breath near a stinky smelly infection makes them toss their cookies.

And, of course I have a bad reaction to the tape we used to put the gauze on me, so the skin started blistering from that. I got a mild case of cellulitis in the arm from all the fluid buildup. It was just not a good thing.

So...to make this saga a little shorter. The arm healed nicely and quickly. LotsBetter (http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/aureeoles/detail?.dir=/7324&.dnm=bbdc.jpg) At this point I had been on 20 days of antibiotics. Went off them and within 3 days had 9 more cysts combined in my arm pits. None of those ever got to the surface (they were always just lumps). Ended up on antibiotics for 65 days and one more cyst on my back. This one required some at-home surgery *evil grin*. I'm a fair skinned redhead...we do NOT deal well with antibiotics and I actually had no problem taking all of them. However, in the past month due to another issue, have discovered that I am now allergic to one of the antibiotics they used- Cipro. When I had taken it for 10 of those 65 days it caused no problems.

hmmm I'm kinda craving split pea soup for some odd reason...

Aureos

[Baker]

Coldfire, oh Coldfire, come read the previous post! You'll like it, I swear!

[Aureos]

Awwww

C'mon....the pics just add that "personal touch" *LOL*

Left nifty scars though

[Baker]

Actually, Aureos, I was just being my usual mean and evil self, with that holler to Coldfire. I had my own "pop goes the infection" story on the very first page of this thread, I think. I'm just jealous that I have no pictures. At least I grossed out a fellow Army recruit, when she saw what I did to my arm.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Awwww

C'mon....the pics just add that "personal touch" *LOL*

Left nifty scars though I'm kind of jealous too. I didn't think to take pictures of mine. I had the same thing, MRSA in my right arm, in approximately the same place. My doctor put me on antibiotics for a week and sent me home. On my followup, she told me that she was checking me into the hospital RIGHT NOW. I could not go home, I could not gather stuff up, if I wanted anything I was to make a list and have my husband bring it to me later. So I got to spend a fun week in the hospital, with a PICC line in my good arm, no internet, and bored out of my skull. The doctor didn't want to operate, because I'm diabetic and a very slow healer. I also had a REALLY fun allergic reaction to yet another antibiotic in the hospital. At least I had some skin on the top of the wound die and dry out and turn black. I very, very carefully removed all that dead skin during the long, boring hours.

I was sent home with the PICC line still in my left arm, and I had a home health nurse come out every day to flush the line and give me IV antibiotics. Both my cats fell in love with the nurse, who, naturally, didn't care for cats in the first place, and ESPECIALLY didn't want feline interference with my wound care. After a couple of weeks of home IV treatments, the infectious diseases doctor decided to put me on a new antibiotic, Zyvox. This is a pill...and the full price for 34 pills was about $1000. Yes. One and three zeroes. The price of a new computer. My insurance covered some of the cost, but the doctor's nurse had to get on the phone with them and explain that I'd been on all these other treatments that hadn't worked.

I'm all healed up now, but I don't want to ever do that again. I do wish that I'd taken pictures. It was truly gross.

Incidentally, infected tissue doesn't really accept anesthesia very well. No matter HOW much painkiller you inject into infected tissue, it's still gonna hurt quite a lot.

[lisacurl]

That MRSA stuff is unbelievably gross. An acquaintance of mine has a huge scar on her leg as well as her jawline, and (I'm told) one of her labia. She also has permanant damage to her heart. The infection went systemic before she sought treatment. She's made me so paranoid that now I call the doctor if I have an insect bite that doesn't heal within 24 hours. (Her saga started from a spider bite.)

[renigademaster]

What did I ever start...???
Oh well, at least my girlfriend likes to pop my zits

[auRa]

Man, oh man am I glad this thread got resurrected... :) I just showed it to the friend who had to go lie down the last time they saw this and I'm glad to say the reaction was even better this time, now that the MRSA Arm and Ingrown Shin Hair stories have been added.

[Count Blucher]

Aureos, those pictures are Truly Something. Thank God its over now, so you can laugh at it. Still, I was just wondering, between bouts of spitting out pus, did it ever try to speak at all?
{Not even a Jerry Seinfeld "Hellloooooo!"? :p }

[chantilly]

What a thread! When in 6th grade, the thing began as an itchy spot. It then grew into a hard lump that hurt. I showed it to my mom who squeezed on it when she did, I fainted, falling neatly between the toilet and the exterior bathroom wall (without hitting my head on the toilet!) She then concluded I needed to see the doc. He pressed it for a culture, told my mom I had a staph infection, prescribed antibiotics and gave me a shot of penicillin in the OTHER cheek. I was out of school for a WEEK (hated catching up homework) , laying on my stomach while Mom laid hotpack after hotpack on my derriere. After 4 days, the thing finally broke--white, cheesy crud. Felt a lot better though.

I went back to school with a note for the gym teacher that I couldn't participate for 3 weeks--and it happened to be Presidential Physical Fitness time and I was very grateful to NOT have to run, do pushups, situps, or other silly things.

Now, has anyone had a pilonidal cyst?---big ol' abscess between the bum cheeks. After that burst---what a stench of dissolved hair, pus, and blood. I had that removed--a little wedge of skin.

[Jeep's Phoenix]

Great pictures, Aureos! Scary, but great. Glad to hear you're doing better.

[chantilly]

I was at college (my sophomore year) and I was having an episode of pain right in the tailbone region. I'd been having these since my junior year of high school--right around my period but never told Mom (the one who makes doctor appointments). I felt back there and discovered three little lumps. Got out a mirror and saw three white heads. I thought I had another staph infection brewing (had one in 6th grade on my tush) and called mom because I knew this would require a trip home to the doc. Got the word that I had a pilinidal cyst--because of a dimple I had just above the tush split. I got back home, accidently hit myself RIGHT THERE with a bag of oranges (which really hurt) and then got some hot water to bring the infection up and hopefully break the thing open. It opened and it STUNK! Grayish-reddish gunk (I was later told that was a mix of pus, dissolved hair, and blood).

A year later, as a junior, I was having major illness issues--throat infections and strep. Mom concluded it was because of this pilonidal thing that should've been removed a year ago. Under local anasthetic and heavy sedation, the surgeon took a little wedge of flesh out. No problems since.


Now, the 6th grade boil--started as an itchy spot, grew rapidly. Mom tried squeezing on it--I fainted from the pain. Taken in to the doctor who squeezed lightly to culture the stuff and said I had a staph infection (most likely picked up from the wrestling mats I'd been sitting on during gym class). I was out of school for a week with antibiotics (and got a shot as well, which meant for a day I COULD NOT sit down). Hot packs were applied and 4 days later it broke open--thick, white, cheesy stuff that needed NO encouragement to express itself. I was allowed to go back to school--but couldn't 0participate in gym class for 3 weeks, which was just FINE with me as the Presidential Physical Fitness tests were being given and I hated those.

THEN--the final ugly infection--my tonsils. I had deeply notched and pocked tonsiles where food got stuck, pus brewed, and when I pressed on them, pus just oozed out of every crevice. 1700 mg of Augmentin only suppressed the infection and ripped up my intestines. Those nasty tonsils got removed. Probably should have been removed back in my junior year of college...

Now I only have the average sized zits every now and then---at age 38. Ocassionally still get those deep cysts (Big Nasties) that don't pop but hurt like crazy. I have one in my right ear as I type this.

[hansel]

Or more specifically, a little brother's inhumanity to his older brother in their teenage years.

My brother had bad acne during his teenage years. One day he noticed another huge, red lump on his back that was a deep, unpustulated zit. Expecting a couple weeks of discomfort every time he touched it or rubbed it or bumped it, he was unusually open to my helpful solution: "I'll lance it with this sharp X-acto knife and pop it, relieving the pressure."

So we go into the bathroom, and without warning, I stab him with this X-acto knife with a pointy blade, to a depth of about 1/4". He howls in agony. "HANG ON, I'M GONNA SQUEEZE IT NOW!", and I place my thumbs on either side of it and squeeze like I'm pulling a nail out. He drops to his knees, weeping. "ONE MORE TIME... IT'S A DEEP ONE!" and I re-apply pressure, pretending that there's an ounce of pus in this poor, un-ripened back zit.

"Damn. Guess that one wasn't ready to be popped yet."

[chantilly]

A former boyfriend had been complaining of tooth pain (man had horrible teeth to begin with) and finally went to the dentist. One side of his face WAS noticeably swollen.

He came home to tell me the grisly story of having an abcessed canine---no amount of Novocaine worked--apparently it is rendered useless when it combines with pus. His tooth had to be extracted--and canines have VERY long roots--so OWWWW! The dentist pressed and stroked to express the infection out of the tissue through the hole where his tooth had been.

As he told me this story, my whole mouth began to ache and I eventually told him I couldn't take any more of his story.

[Burdizzo]

One time at summer camp, I got a splinter in the back of my leg from sitting on a wooden dock. I wen tto the camp nurse to get her to remove it. She poked around on it for a while and THOUGHT she had gotten it out. The spot remained sore the weeks after that. About 6 weeks later after a shower, I was feeling the back of my leg and decided to give a little squeeze.

The splinter oozed out with a little puddle of goo and pus. I should ahve saved that splinter and framed it.

Ah, good times. :cool:

[DarkPrince]

Oddly enough, the Conway & Steckler radio show last night was reading stories supposedly out of one of their books that were almost word for word exactly the same as some of the posts in this thread. I specifically remember the one about "placing it on the nightstand" and another zit where the person was in a car and showed the goo to his/her friends in the back seat.
I wonder if we've got a couple of celebrity readers here? :p

[pyre]

Ok after reading all these amazing stories I cannot help but share my own favourite popping stories.

The gut ooze:

I have my navel pierced and took good care of it so that it did not get infected when I had it done. About a year after I had it done I was in the shower scrubbing with one of those mesh type sponges that you buy at the body shop. Well I was really scrubbing away and accidentally snagged my ring. It hurt like hell when it tore a bit and I was left with a small stream of blood running down my leg. I got out and dried off and put a ban aid over the whole thing so it would heal. Well a few days later it got sore and read and quite hot. I knew that is was a bit infected so I put a glass of salt water over it and lay on my back for a while. This did not clear it up. Three days later it was puffy and real sore. I was laying in bed with the lights off and I reached my hand down to feel it. I gave it a little poke and Boom, my hand was soaked, my Pj’s were soaked and there was the strange sent of rotting donkey ass in the air. I didn’t not know what to do, I carefully reached over and turned on my lamp to survey the damage. I lifted up my pj shirt and my navel was filled to the brim with grey green chunky puss and it was running down my side. Luckily I had a box of Kleenex next to the bed and was able to soak up most of the mess. I went into the bathroom and worked on it for a good hour squeezing all the chunky green crap out of it till it bled good clean red blood. I fixed it up with lots of nice saline solution and polysporin. My navel ring is now cased in nice think scar tissue that will never grow out.


Weiner dog infestation.

Ok this was cool. My mother has one of those neurotic little red mini wiener dogs. Well most of them are healthy looking but let’s say if she paid for this one by the chromosome; it should have been 30% off. Well one day she noticed a bump on its chest right under its neck, the dog could not really get at it to scratch it with its little useless t-rex type appendages. So my mom being picker popper type from way back decides to have a closer look at it and give it a go. My dad holds the little beast and my mom gives it squeeze with both her thumb nails. Well in a surprisingly clean shot out pops two fat shiny squirming maggots. Well my dad releases the grip and runs to the bathroom to vacate his stomach of all contents in a noisy manner and my mom gags and chokes. I laugh my ass off at the spectacle being the twisted one I am and the wiener dog does nothing but gazes around wondering what the hell is going on. The wound healed up in 4 days after that with just a little bump under the skin. I guess they had it right in the old days when they used maggots to clean wounds.

[CurleyFett]

Just fineshed reading this thread.. I laughed, I cried, I commiserated.... well, i guess this is where I chime in.. where to begin?


one time, I was working at a winery and it being the middle of harvest (Aug-Sept), i was sweating like (insert your favorite On-Trial Celeb) on the stand. and since working there i couldnt wear shorts, you can imagine the hell.. anyhoo.. i take a shower later that night and i notice a small red bump on the inside of my leg. well, hot compress, and i went to bed.. next day, around noon, my leg feels like hell. i hit the bathroom, and it had grown.. big..red..angry... i put a compress on it( little note, when working in an industry that uses near scalding water to clean things, mix with cold!!) the near scalding dulled the pain,and i before i went home, i grabbed a sterile lancet, and a topical anistetic(sp). well, i got home, and showered.. swabed down with isopropyl, broke open the topical, and waited till it was numb..

so i nicked the top. blood and a little white pus.. ok.. so i squeezed... nada... well, grabbing the closest adult beverage( one of the perks, free bottle of wine a month :D ) and taking a few belts, i went at it again with the lancet... more blood... no pus.. still a big freaking lump...

so, bering down with both thumbs on either side, i squeezed... PAIN!!!..blood, yellowish puss, and a lumpy core.... AFter taking more luqid painkiller, i looked at the lump... feindis little thing was an ingrown hair, 1/4" long...

i still have a depression where that thing was....

and that bigzit link is down :(

[GrizzRich]

Remind me never to shake hands with you people!

<shudder>YEESH!<shudder>

[Farmer Biff]

A couple stories from my youth down on the ranch in Texas:

When I was a teen, my black lab rolled over in front of me to present a grape-sized tick buried halfway into the soft flesh of her thigh. When I tried to pull on it, half of its body broke away, leaving the remainder buried in my dog's thigh. (The tick must have been dead already, as it wasn't full of blood like normal, but rather this stuff like in the center of a Junior Mint.)

I pressed on either side of the buried half-tick, and the rest of the body popped right out. I kept pushing, and the hole began extruding a fluffy grayish-white substance that looked exactly like light-textured frosting being squeezed through a cake-decorating tip. I continued until there was a huge glob covering most of her thigh, and then had to get a paper towel to clean up the mess before I could go on. My dog waited paiently on her back until I returned -- seemingly, she was highly releived to get this mess out of her leg -- and eased still more of this frosting stuff out of her leg. In total, I must have removed two full tablespoons of this gunk before all was said and done.

She wagged her tail when it was over.

As if that weren't enough ... in Texas there are insects called bot flies that lay eggs on cows' ankles. Cows then lick their ankles while grooming themselves and ingest these tiny eggs, where they grow into awful maggots that burrow through the cow's flesh and form giant maggot-filled zits on the cow's backs.

These lumps are probably two inches tall and an inch high. The maggot lives in them for a while before emerging as a new bot fly, so the lump has a hole in the top with the bug's head just below the surface, peeking out at the sky. Partially filling and scattered just around the caldera is about a quarter teaspoon of sand-like material, which is the little chunks of dried cow flesh the maggot chewed up while burrowing through the beef.

After brushing away the powdered cow, you have to use a stout four-finger grip to pop the lump -- two fingers on top, thumbs below. (Remember how thick a cow's flesh is.) Squeeze ... squeeze ... and POW -- a horrible, fat maggot half as long as your pinky and every bit as wide pops out. Sometimes they fly in a big arc off into the pasture. Therefore, it behooves you not to stand directly in front of the lump while you squeeze.

The maggots look not unlike the queen of an ant colony -- glistening, dead-white body with a black ant-like head. Sometimes they die while in the lump. In this case, you can grab hold of the head and pull this dried husk of a maggot body out of the hole. The lumps with dead ones often produce a couple tablespoons of thick, yellow pus as well, if you employ the four-finger grip described above.

And here I sit, 20 years later, a high-tech guy living in the city ... and I long for those wholesome days on the ranch ...

[Hokkaido Brit]

Dog fondant - yum!

Is talking about your animals pimples bestiality of the zit world??

I have a story of a body product that wasn't a zit but still very interesting. I'd still like to know what it was...

My boy was born by cesarean in a very uncomplicated manner, was big and healthy and had no problems whatsoever. Except that he "snurkled" whenever he breathed. My baby books said that babies can be snuffly creatures so I didn't worry too much.

When he was about five weeks old my husband was bathing with him (in Japan babies don't have separate baths but go in the big bath resting on a parent's lap) and as he was supporting the baby's head while I washed his face, I suddenly saw this THING up his nose, appearing and disappearing with every breath.

It was white, and right at the back of his nose - I only noticed it because his head was tilted right back and the harsh bathroom light was at just the right angle.

I got a Q-tip (yes I KNOW you shouldn't do this!) and went fishing. It took two goes when the Q-tip went in a really long way, then I hooked this thing and pulled. And pulled, and pulled! This huge white rope came out! Ick!

It was about 3 inches long, and not at all snot-like in texture. It was definitely tissue of some kind, dead white and ropy. There was another one lurking up his other nostril too, but not so long as the first.

The baby's snurkles stopped right away, never returning.

But what WERE those things?? If he'd had a natural delivery I'd have thought he might have partially inhaled some of the amniotic sac or something like that, but he was lifted out of me and suctioned immediately. I wondered if they were the lining of his nasal passages or something horrible like that. Any ideas, anyone?

[Hyperelastic]

Or more specifically, a little brother's inhumanity to his older brother in their teenage years.

My brother had bad acne during his teenage years. One day he noticed another huge, red lump on his back that was a deep, unpustulated zit. Expecting a couple weeks of discomfort every time he touched it or rubbed it or bumped it, he was unusually open to my helpful solution: "I'll lance it with this sharp X-acto knife and pop it, relieving the pressure."

So we go into the bathroom, and without warning, I stab him with this X-acto knife with a pointy blade, to a depth of about 1/4". He howls in agony. "HANG ON, I'M GONNA SQUEEZE IT NOW!", and I place my thumbs on either side of it and squeeze like I'm pulling a nail out. He drops to his knees, weeping. "ONE MORE TIME... IT'S A DEEP ONE!" and I re-apply pressure, pretending that there's an ounce of pus in this poor, un-ripened back zit.

"Damn. Guess that one wasn't ready to be popped yet."

That is messed up.

About 15 years ago, when I was in college, various parts of my face started to hurt. Over the course of a couple of days, the pain localized to my upper left gumline, and my cheek started to swell up. I was awakened by the pain at about 4 a.m. Went to the dentist and he found an abscessed tooth, which he did a root canal on. I was a starving student at the time, so I couldn't afford to have a crown put on the tooth. I forgot about it for a long time.

Fast forward about 12 years. I was attending an out-of-town technical conference. For whatever reason my tooth decided to get infected again. It started as a dull ache which I tried to ignore, but by the time I got to my hotel room, I was barely conscious. This big pimple-like lesion erupted on my gum over the space of about an hour. It was beefy red with a white dot at the peak. The pimple, and my tooth, hurt so much I could not bring my teeth together. Solid foods were out of the question.

Then, as quickly as it started, the pain stopped. Stupidly, I decided to go to the conference, armed with a tube of Anbesol. So I sat down in a room watching a guy give a lecture, and it started hurting again, bad. I am sure my eyes were glistening with tears. I tried to numb it with some ice water, but I couldn't close my mouth without a blinding sheet of pain. I ended up drooling water all over my shirt and the table in front of me.

Long story short, the pimple-like thing popped spontaneously. Quantities of disgusting syrupy pus and blood were released into my mouth. I managed not to embarrass myself, and after the pimple had popped, the pain never came back.

[medstar]

Hyperelastic, I certainly hope you got to your dentist as soon as possible. While this thread happens to be the single most enthralling read on the SDMB, I'm mindful of the fact that you could lose teeth and suffer other medical unpleasantness if you let this go. I'm more interested in tales of volcano strength splorches of primordial goo than subterranean explosions. Take care of yourself so you can contribute more stories to this thread.

[Hyperelastic]

Yeah, I went and got it fixed as soon as I got home. My dentist gave me an antibiotic and then made me a crown. It hasn't bothered me in a couple of years.

[Greywolf73]

Love this thread!
Years ago, I went on a week-long beach trip with a friend of mine. Every morning we'd walk about 2 miles along the beach barefoot. About the 4th day there, I developed a blister on the bottom of my foot. I didn't think anything about it at the time, just thought it was a blister from the new shoes I'd been wearing. I just slapped a bandaid on it and ignored it, thinking it would pop on its own.
Two days later I could barely walk. It had grown into the biggest blister I've ever seen covering the sole of my foot almost completely.
I was a big wuss so I didn't try to pop it myself. Instead, my friend's father volunteered to do the job with a sterilized needle. He lanced it and a big gush of fluid, pus and sand came shooting out.
Sand! It still makes me shudder when I think about it.

[Jeep's Phoenix]

He lanced it and a big gush of fluid, pus and sand came shooting out.
Sand! It still makes me shudder when I think about it.
Ahhhhh!!! A foot pearl!!!

I don't have any good personal zit stories (compared to what's in this thread, anyway). I do have a small sebaceaous cyst on my left shoulder that can produce enough material to spatter a mirror.

My best zit story comes from my dog, Snoopy (now deceased, though not from this incident). About three summers ago, she started this routine of rolling over on her back anytime I was near her. I didn't think this was odd--she loved belly rubs--until I noticed a mass on the right side of her chest. It was about the length of my hand, and very hard to the touch. We took her to the vet's, where they shaved the fur off of the area and gave us some blue stuff to apply to the lump several times a day. One day, when Mom was washing the lump, the skin covering the lump split. Massive amounts of chunky pus, ranging from pale yellow to tan in color, came oozing out of the fissure. I don't remember a bad smell; I just remember that Mom looked like she was going to pass out. Enough pus came out of the lump to saturate half of a small bar towel, which was promptly disposed of after being wrapped in several layers of plastic bags. Snoopy didn't seem to mind at all; I think she was asleep the whole time. The wound left by this incident continued to "weep" for almost a week, but it healed quickly after that.

[Mirror Image egamI rorriM]

I just had a very strange experience: a zit inside of my nose.

I was blowing my nose when I felt a painful lump right on the inside of the nostril. I went to the bathroom to investigate. The lump was positioned right near the edge of my nostril, so I turned the side of my nose out to see if I could see what the problem was.

It was a zit, about to pop, with a hair sticking right out of the middle. I got some tweezers and yanked out the hair, which must not have been attatched to the follicle anymore, because it slid right out. Then, because of the pressure of my thumb on the outside of my nose, the zit went "splort" and a droplet of yellow ooze came from the place where the hair had been.

Ah, relief.

[whiterabbit]

Lots of us on the board have had nose zits. I used to think I was alone until I landed on the SDMB. Unfortunately, I've never gotten any really dramatic zits, though I did once had an oddly big one on the outside of my left elbow. It was the best zit-pop I ever had, but it wasn't half as good as some of the stuff here.

My ex once was saving a back zit for me to pop, but he accidentally popped it by leaning against a doorway a day or so before I was going to go after it. He apologized profusely. I eventually forgave him -- for THAT, anyway.

[pokey]

What I really really want to know is what happens to a zit if you don't pop it? I've never not popped one. I've poked or popped ever zit I've ever had since I was born. Every once in a while I get a zit and I think, "okay let's be scientific here and see what happens if I don't pop this zit." And then I pop it. So I have no concept of the life cycle of a zit. Do they just pop on their own? Does the gunk inside get reabsorbed into the body and the zit go away? And if it does, how can anyone stand that? I swear that the very next zit I get I will not touch it and I will find out the answer to the mystery.

Okay I know that's never going to happen so someone has to tell me.

[amalthea23]

i'm new to this board, i got here through zfilter, and i have to applaud each and every one of you who have added your stories to this thread. i have now been nauseated for 3 straight days. since you have all gone through so much to bring me this joy (until i got up for a snack and realized that yogurt wasn't the best meal while reading this thread, and i can't really say "joy" described my feeling at that moment) i felt i ought share one of my own stories and hope that perhaps some of you will appreciate it.

when i was 5 years old, my mother noticed that i was walking with my head tilted to the side. as i went about the house i would hold it still, though i actually didn't realize i was doing it. my mother asked me why i was holding my head in that manner and once i realize what i was doing i said "because it hurts to hold it straight."
now, i have a chronic immune disorder, so my mom thought that perhaps it was just one of my "weird things" and we all went about our business. the next day i went to school as usual, but when i returned home i had a small lump on my neck. it was about the size of a peanut and my mother assumed it was a swollen lymph node. she called the doctor who said not to worry, it was just my body fighting something off.

the next morning i woke up with a HUGEly swollen lump on my neck. it was about the size of a tennis ball. imagine this on the neck of a skinny 5 year old. my mom realized this was no "swollen lymph node" and called the doctor's office back. an extremely rude nurse told my mother she was being paranoid and not to worry but my mother said she wasn't asking to come in, she was telling the nurse to expect her within 20 minutes.
my mother brought me into the office and when the nurse saw my now baseball sized growth, she promptly his under the desk, literally.

i was ushered into the examining room where the doctor palpated my lump. he explained that it was too hard (the lump, not the procedure) and he could not lance it safely in the office, and i would have to go to the hospital.

shortly thereafter me, my mother, and a softball sized growth arrived at the hospital. at this point my head was bent so far to the left that my left ear was almost touching my shoulder.
blood was drawn, iv lines were started, and i was taken off to the OR.
(this part has been told to me by my surgeon, the rest is from memory)

once i was under the doctor took out his scalpel and got to work on my second head. he made a small slit and approximately 6 cups of thick, gray and foul smelling pus drained out into a basin below, at which point a nurse who was attending the procedure dropped the instrument tray she'd been holding, threw up her hands, shrieked and ran out of the OR, screaming.

(back to my memory now)
two hours later i was in the recovery room. my folks were there, along with many balloons and an ass load of smurfs. i'm talking millions of these things. i had a nice baby sitter. everyone in the room was in yellow coveralls. i was now a "dirty patient."
the lump on my neck was the result of a "deep cervical abscess." it had been classified a "lethal infection" and had eaten away at my neck all the way through to my spine which was now visible because of the fact that the wound had to close from the inside out (see countless previous tales of excised woe on those healing techniques.) every day after that 3 times a day for the next 3 months i would go through the following procedure.

25 feet of gauze would be pulled from the hole in my neck. the hole would be irrigated with betadine and then sterile saline, and then 25 feet of gauze (the length would shorten with time as the hole grew smaller) would be packed back into my neck with long wooden q tips, and then the whole thing would be covered with more gauze. i was not allowed out of the hospital until my mother could do this on her own and no one was allowed into my room without the yellow garb because i had been septic.

over time my mother got used to the hysterical shrieking that i would let loose whenever she poked at my raw and exposed muscle with the q tips and the hole slowly healed. now all that's left is a thin white line in the fold of my neck to remember the incident by. luckily i had an excellent surgeon. in a way i'm sad because i've now had 14 surgeries and while that one is at least in the top three most disgusting ones, there's very little evidence of the horror.

i hope you all enjoy my tale and again, i want to thank you for this fabulous thread, may it live on throughout eternity!

[amalthea23]

and now i have to do this annoying little added post because i foolishly forgot to click "subscribe" below. a thousand pardons....

[CurleyFett]

Great Maker!

that story actualy made me a bit woogy... i mean... damn.. that's not something to take lightly... your head you have literaly Fallen off!


glad that you're ok though.... even though that was a few years ago... there could have been som nasty damage...

oh.. who's next in this little horror story?

[VunderBob]

Amalthea, that's almost as good of a story as Broomstick's...

My wife has Lupus, and takes Prednisone on a regular basis. One of the nastier side effects are fatty tumors that grow in her legs, and every so often, they have to come out. The complications get worse with each round of surgery, and the last one will thrill the zit thread aficionados.

Jane had one the last time somewhere between a baseball and a softball in size, and had it excised. After she got home, she noticed the wound site was warm, and getting progressively harder to the touch. When she was about to pass out from pain, it was very bruised looking, and as distended as before the surgery. For a lot of reasons I won't go into for brevity, we suspected a bleeder, and not an infection.

We called the surgeon who said to bring her in to the office. He laid her down on the table, took a look, and said, "Yup. You've got a bleeder. I'll have to drain this."

He took out a hog syringe and a big ol' needle, and stuck it into the bubble. From the puncture area came a jet of blood that hit the 8' ceiling, and painted a streak across to the wall 8' feet away and down to the floor. Her relief was immediate, but she was in the OR 90 minutes later to have 2 arteries cauterized and a drain installed. Even worse, was the infection in the same wound after the drain was pulled a week later, but there were no arcs of pus to report.

[KellyM]

I had a bush zit once that exploded all over my panties (which, thankfully, were black). I didn't even realize it was there until it went boom.

I've also had facial zits that were the result of hairs that had been electrolyzed but not completely removed. These will generally, about a week later, turn into a rather nasty recurring zit until the remnant of the hair follicle is completely dug out and removed. I once exploded one of those by brushing past it with my hand, firing bloody pus all over my hand, keyboard, and monitor. While at work.

lee once pulled an inch-long ingrown hair out of my chest, although there was no significant amount of pus or anything associated with that. Still, it was neat.

[Pulau Tiga]

11 years ago..

I was on medication because I had some skin problems at the time. The medication was making my acne worse, you know, the kind of sadistic medication that makes your condition worse before it gets better. I was very accustomed to getting big zits, but this was different. It didn't feel like a zit.. I had felt a lump on my cheek right next to my nose. It was more swollen than a lump, actually. It was starting to irritate me, so I went to go look at it in the mirror. I figured it couldn't have been a zit, because I could see pores over the swollen area. I lifted the skin up towards my eye to stretch it out and out of nowhere a thick lump of pus starts falling out of my face. I was shocked.. so many things were running through my mind - how did the skin break, what would have happened if I scratched my face in school instead of alone in front of my mirror.. The stream was so thick, not only in consistancy, but in width. It had to be a stream about a half an inch wide. I kept pushing down on my face and gobs of pus were coming out of it, I could barely keep up. I can't remember the exact number, but more than one kleenex was needed for the pus alone. Finally, blood starts to come out, along with a tiny little miniscule hard piece, which I blame for starting the whole thing. It felt kind of like a hard blackhead, but I didn't go digging through to find the buried treasure.

I can't remember what happened the next day. If it was sore, or remained swollen, or completely healed. My memory is skewed by the vision of the pus falling out of my face from some imaginary hole. I still can't explain it.

[Count Blucher]

Pulau Tiga, you should avoid renting the movie 'Poltergeist'. Trust Me. :eek:

[The Devil's Grandmother]

What I really really want to know is what happens to a zit if you don't pop it?
They either pop themselves or they just heal up and go away. I know because I had a big nasty one on my back last week, and my husband is a wussy and would not pop it for me. It's gone now.

[Helena]

While in Korea I saw several people wearing shirts that said, in beautiful swoopy machine-embroidered letters, World Famous Abscess. I'm thinking there might be more than one person on this board who would love to get their hands on one of these shirts.

[VunderBob]

Finally, I have one worthy of reporting.

I have a very advanced case of Dunlop's Disease, and I sometimes get festered hairs in the crease under my gut. For the last month, I've had one that's been a minor irritation.

About 2 AM this morning, the dog gets me up to take her outside, and I realized through my sleepfog that the hotspot was very sore. We wander out, and while she's doing her thing, I start feeling around, and find a skin bubble much like I get when I have thigh zits.

Gave it a pinch; nothing. Damn. Maybe I didn't get good placement, so I line up and try again. Added pain, but no pop. I'm getting close.

The dog is done laying landmines, and wants in because it's cold. We start back for the door, and I give it one last try. I must be doing it right, because it hurts something awful as I squeeze, and I can feel tissue tearing as I pinch. Splort, and I feel wetness in my hand. My fingers are covered in watery looking blood, and there's a nice little core about the size of a broken-off pencil point.

OK, that one wasn't very exciting or too gross, but at the ripe old age of 42 with geezerdom quickly approaching, you take what you get....

[Enola Straight]

Dog fondant - yum!

Is talking about your animals pimples bestiality of the zit world??

I have a story of a body product that wasn't a zit but still very interesting. I'd still like to know what it was...

My boy was born by cesarean in a very uncomplicated manner, was big and healthy and had no problems whatsoever. Except that he "snurkled" whenever he breathed. My baby books said that babies can be snuffly creatures so I didn't worry too much.

When he was about five weeks old my husband was bathing with him (in Japan babies don't have separate baths but go in the big bath resting on a parent's lap) and as he was supporting the baby's head while I washed his face, I suddenly saw this THING up his nose, appearing and disappearing with every breath.

It was white, and right at the back of his nose - I only noticed it because his head was tilted right back and the harsh bathroom light was at just the right angle.

I got a Q-tip (yes I KNOW you shouldn't do this!) and went fishing. It took two goes when the Q-tip went in a really long way, then I hooked this thing and pulled. And pulled, and pulled! This huge white rope came out! Ick!

It was about 3 inches long, and not at all snot-like in texture. It was definitely tissue of some kind, dead white and ropy. There was another one lurking up his other nostril too, but not so long as the first.

The baby's snurkles stopped right away, never returning.

But what WERE those things?? If he'd had a natural delivery I'd have thought he might have partially inhaled some of the amniotic sac or something like that, but he was lifted out of me and suctioned immediately. I wondered if they were the lining of his nasal passages or something horrible like that. Any ideas, anyone?

ROPY BABY DOPER BOOGER
ROPY BABY DOPER BOOGER
ROPY BABY DOPER BOOGER

[lee]

ROPY BABY DOPER BOOGER
ROPY BABY DOPER BOOGER
ROPY BABY DOPER BOOGER
I thought the phrase was Zeeky Boogy Doog!

Loren had these as well. I kinda thought it was at least partially vernix. I was able to just place the qtip up against the ROPY BABY DOPER BOOGER and twirl. It was sticky enough to stick and draw right out wrapping around the qtip. She wiggled and kinda shuddered and rubbed her nose.

[Hokkaido Brit]

Ah ha! Ropy Dopy Baby Boogers are obviously "normal" then! Still very satisfying.

Hokkaido Husband had a most wonderful blackhead somewhere Unmentionable the other day. I managed to pin him down long enough to GET it! Ha! Well worth the three-day sulks that followed.

He said "You are the most disgusting wife in the world."

and I said, "Thank you."

[lee]

Ah ha! Ropy Dopy Baby Boogers are obviously "normal" then! Still very satisfying.

Hokkaido Husband had a most wonderful blackhead somewhere Unmentionable the other day. I managed to pin him down long enough to GET it! Ha! Well worth the three-day sulks that followed.

He said "You are the most disgusting wife in the world."

and I said, "Thank you."
MY husband doesn't have the mempry required for three day sulks. Also He realizes on an intelectual level that a multitude of 1 cm to 3 cm pus filled nodules on hs inner thighs will recur if I don't do routine patrols. These often start as largish pimples with a very fine very long ingrown hair. By the time they develope into hard nodules the hair mostly rots.

Once when beginning a bj I noticed a red angry zit on the top of his penis. It had sunk onto his bush when soft and grown undetected for no more than a day to be about 1 cm across. He was torn when I asked him If I could attack it. I said fine, with any luck, it will go deep enough to get to the other side. He finally let me. I pierced it with a beading needle to relieve pressure and squeezed. Out popped a mass of puss and left a weeping hole about 5mm deep.

[RNWebner]

As a teenager, I usually have moderate acne, but i dont usually actually get pimples. however occasionally i get a pimple that sprouts up on the edge of my lip. for some reason, these always grow enourmous and white, making them incredibly conspicuous. most people who see it think that it is a bit of food hanging off of my lip. to make it worse, these pimples make it so that it hurts when i stretch my lips in any way, making it impossible to smile and ruining my day if i have it.
so, the second one of these sprouts up, i eliminate it, usually by poking it with something sharp and squeezing every last drop of the half-blood, half-yellow ooze mixture that resided in it. a disgustingly huge amount of this comes out almost every time. its disgusting.

[Alexxandra]

Since I've gone back on the pill recently, I've gotten a couple of whoppers on my back. You know the ones. You can see them, huge ripe and ready to satisfyingly splort thier oozy goodness if you could just get a hold of the little bastards, but they stay just enticingly out of reach. Thankfully my best friend is a picker and squeezer like myself, and takes great joy in helping me out on occasion. The last one I had caused her to spout, "Oh yeaaaah that's a good one! Look at it go!"

I still regret that I couldn't watch.

For some reason, I also get a strange joy out of slowly peeling the post-sunburn loose skin off of myself and anyone that will let me. Does anyone else like this?

~Alexx

[Lynn Bodoni]

My husband used to have a couple of really dependable Motherlode Pores on his back. I say he USED to have them. I have been diligently cleaning them out for some years now, and the pores have been getting shallower and smaller in diameter, and it seems that they have completely run dry. Woe is me. I guess I did too good a job on cleaning them out. He also had a smaller Motherlode Pore on his right temple, but again I seem have mined the last blackhead from it.

He still gets zits occasionally, and he has plenty of ingrown hairs, but I had always thought that I could COUNT on those Motherlode Pores for periodic entertainment. Woe is me!

[juji_mojo]

Alexxandra said

For some reason, I also get a strange joy out of slowly peeling the post-sunburn loose skin off of myself and anyone that will let me. Does anyone else like this?

I worked with a woman once... first time I met her... Im the Registered Nurse reading report to my two care aides on night shift. This woman reaches over and starts peeling my sunburn off my flaking arms. (okay to be fair it did look like I had peices of wax paper hanging off me like a monitor with too many post-it notes)

Now, I love all things icky, (squeeze cheese desicated eye pus, things like that) but even I draw the line at peeling a "just met" co-workers sunburn flakes...

I did ask her not to touch. She was offended, and honestly it was about 2 years before we worked together comfortably.

The weirdest thing is otherwise she is very formal, kind of iceberg type person (and not just to me) But I guess to her sunburn peeling doesnt require permission?

[medstar]

My husband used to have a couple of really dependable Motherlode Pores on his back. I say he USED to have them. I have been diligently cleaning them out for some years now, and the pores have been getting shallower and smaller in diameter, and it seems that they have completely run dry. Woe is me. I guess I did too good a job on cleaning them out. He also had a smaller Motherlode Pore on his right temple, but again I seem have mined the last blackhead from it.

He still gets zits occasionally, and he has plenty of ingrown hairs, but I had always thought that I could COUNT on those Motherlode Pores for periodic entertainment. Woe is me!


Lynn, would it help if you let his pores rest undisturbed for a few months so that they can fill back up again? Also, cultivate the ingrown hairs; you never know when one of those will erupt like Mount St. Helens.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Lynn, would it help if you let his pores rest undisturbed for a few months so that they can fill back up again? Also, cultivate the ingrown hairs; you never know when one of those will erupt like Mount St. Helens. Oh, it's been months since his Motherlode Pores have actually had blackheads in them. The thing is, after gently removing blackheads by tweezing them out, the pores relax and grow smaller and shallower once they're not constantly distended from having huge oil deposits in them. This is sort of a good news/bad news situation. I've also had the pores on my nose get smaller and shallower, because I've been very diligent about removing blackheads as soon as they appear.

And my daughter is taking an antibiotic for her skin, which means that she's not getting zits on her back for me to pop. I am deprived, I tell you!

[angelicate]

One time at summer camp, I got a splinter in the back of my leg from sitting on a wooden dock. I wen tto the camp nurse to get her to remove it. She poked around on it for a while and THOUGHT she had gotten it out. The spot remained sore the weeks after that. About 6 weeks later after a shower, I was feeling the back of my leg and decided to give a little squeeze.

The splinter oozed out with a little puddle of goo and pus. I should ahve saved that splinter and framed it.

Ah, good times. :cool:

I was washing dishes when I was a kid and dropped a casserole dish. It broke and glass went everywhere. I cleaned it all up and wondered at the fact that I didn't get cut.
Well, as the weeks went by, the side of my foot started hurting and I noticed a little hard lump. I squeezed, but nothing happened. A little more time went by, and the lump hurt even worse and started turning black. I knew this wasn't good, so I decided to fix it, not mater how bad it hurt. I squeezed and squeezed until finally it popped and a piece of glass popped out. It healed right up after that.

[VunderBob]

Ever since Halloween, I've had a chronic problem with pain in my left foot, on the toe end of the arch behind the big toe. There was a painful sensation I described as what you would feel immediately after standing on a marble for five minutes. It wasn't always there, and would generally respond to Aleve after taking it for a day or two.

I had a get aquainted appointment with a new doctor mid-January, and I mentioned it in passing. He took a look, and told me that I had a bump down there, and I should see a podiatrist if it got to be too much. About a week after I saw him, my bump acted up and wouldn't go away.

I saw the podiatrist this morning, and it was, ummm, interesting. Not a plantar wart, as I suspected, but an abcess.

"You've got a little abcess. I'm going to trim some skin away. It won't hurt." He pulls out some very ugly looking knives that look a lot like X-Acto carving tools.

"OK. I'll tell you now that I'm a chickenshit (exact words, BTW). Blood is OK so long as it's not my own."

"Very well." and he starts.

Won't hurt, my ass. He poked and dug, and I didn't see a thing through my clenched eyes. Add a few "Oh, shit!"s from me, and an "eeeww, yuck!" from him, and the abcess was drained. It went quite well for him because he had good access when I was hanging from the ceiling.

"I didn't find any foreign bodies when I drained it. I think we'll take some X-rays just to make sure." You sadistic bastard. First you cut open my foot without any numbing, and now you're going to make me walk on it.

Nothing was found, and he said the typical cause of the type of abcess I had is a hair or sliver of metal. I'll blame the dog for it, because I have a boxer with stiff fur.

Six hours later, the pain is a mere shadow of what I went through, so I guess it's worth it.

[Clothahump]

Just in case anyone else want to find Enright3's link, it's here (http://www.skitzo.dk/downloads/video/bigzitdswe.wmv).

SCORE!!!!!

My friends (who are all sick like me) and I delight in grossing each other out, sending links to pictures on rotten.com and the like.

A few of them were over last night and I called up that link. When that zit did its firehose thing, I had a couple of them dry-heaving over the wastebasket.

Well done!!! I am now ahead by LARGE gross-out points. Heh, heh, heh....

[Annie-Xmas]

I was washing dishes when I was a kid and dropped a casserole dish. It broke and glass went everywhere. I cleaned it all up and wondered at the fact that I didn't get cut.
Well, as the weeks went by, the side of my foot started hurting and I noticed a little hard lump. I squeezed, but nothing happened. A little more time went by, and the lump hurt even worse and started turning black. I knew this wasn't good, so I decided to fix it, not mater how bad it hurt. I squeezed and squeezed until finally it popped and a piece of glass popped out. It healed right up after that.

My sister had a similar problem on the side of her nose. When the zit covered up the entire side, she squeezed and squeezed and squeezed out lots of pus and blood, and finally a small little pebble popped out.

She has a huge scar because of it.

[FilmGeek]

I'm sure a lot of you were glad this thread was gone, but I just had a long conversation with a friend about it and she will hopefully visit this thread and be so enamoured with the SDMB she'll join.

:)

[Ferret Herder]

The thing is, after gently removing blackheads by tweezing them out, the pores relax and grow smaller and shallower once they're not constantly distended from having huge oil deposits in them. This is sort of a good news/bad news situation. I've also had the pores on my nose get smaller and shallower, because I've been very diligent about removing blackheads as soon as they appear.
How exactly do you remove blackheads on your nose, by tweezing, or by some other method? I have problems with pores clogging up there now and then, and often even the Biore pore strips only get a few of them cleaned out. I've noticed some pore enlargement that's vaguely disturbing.

[lisacurl]

I would like to ask everyone to pray for the safe return of my blackhead removal tool. It's gone missing in my house and I haven't seen it for over a week. Either a kitty swatted it to the floor and it's under the bed somewhere, or Mr. Amanita hid it from me so he wouldn't have to submit to my blackhead-related ministrations. I know the Dopers who read this thread with the joy that I do can appreciate what an anxiety-producing loss this is. :D

[Morgyn]

My sister had a similar problem on the side of her nose. When the zit covered up the entire side, she squeezed and squeezed and squeezed out lots of pus and blood, and finally a small little pebble popped out.

She has a huge scar because of it.
How did she get a pebble under the skin of her nose? Road rash from a bike crash or something?

I tell you, I read these stories and realize that the one ingrown pubic hair I had was nothin' in comparison, even if the pus DID turn an icky grey-green and got all hard and stuff. Except for once, all the rest of my zits have been pretty small and non-projectile; I generally get a small worm. I think I get bigger ones on my back, but it's hard to tell because I can't see them when I clean them out. (My arms are flexible. I can bend them enough that I can usually apply a pore-clearing fingernail to pretty much any point on my back. And then I go back and pick the scabs off.)

[Gazelle]

I'm sure a lot of you were glad this thread was gone, but I just had a long conversation with a friend about it and she will hopefully visit this thread and be so enamoured with the SDMB she'll join.

:)I love it when this thread is resurrected. Did your friend check it out? Did she join?

[indecisive1]

My dad had a good pimple story that he shared with me.

He had that really nasty cystic acne, and would often get terrible giant infections. So one of the zits from hell formed on the side of nose about 1/8th inch above his nostril. He said this thing grew and festered and grew and festered for weeks. It became an extremely painful second nose that he just couldn't keep his hands off.

So one day he is walking between classes at the University, fingering his second nose, when he felt it finally break. Joy! He didn't care that he was out in public, this thing had torcherd him for weeks. So he grabs his nose and gives it a might squeeze. Sppprrrddttth!

So you'd expect a big load of goey blood snot stink stuff to going flying out of this thing. And it did, but the pimple had festered through to the *inside* of his nose.
He said he just kept on squeezing and blowing pus out of his nose as he walked through campus.

Yuck!
damn I miss my dad! He had a big sink hole looking place on his nose from this one.

[Wonko The Sane]

We need more description on that- Colors, smells, etc.

Please.

[Harbinger of Courteous Debate]

Will a mod shoot me if I resurrect this one? I am enthralled.

[Baker]

Well, HoCD, since this is a zombie thread I'm sure a mod will be along to close it. That's policy, and I have no problem with that.

But that doesn't stop someone from starting a "Pimples-The Sequel" thread, now does it? Just sayin', that's all.

Psst! Remember to link to this thread in a new one!

[indecisive1]

Will a mod shoot me if I resurrect this one? I am enthralled.
I feel all biggity that my story is the last in the thread!

It really is time for a new pimple thread.
(so sorry mods, I know you hate them but you have to earn that coffee cup)

[lisacurl]

I don't know if this should be called a zombie thread, so much as a gold-star classic thread. :D

[Larry Mudd]

Every few months I like to run the "printable" version of this thread through speech synthesis software and listen to it at bedtime. Had a couple of glasses of wine last night and did it again. Awesome. After about fifteen minutes, the giggles start to hurt.

[Baker]

So we're getting responses, but no pimple stories. C'mon, someone out there has to have something...juicy...to tell us about!

[VunderBob]

So we're getting responses, but no pimple stories. C'mon, someone out there has to have something...juicy...to tell us about!
In my advanced old age, I'll take them as I get them. I've been fortunate the past couple of weeks in getting small pustules on my thighs and ass, and I pop them with great delight. Unfortunately, it's a story of small zits at the rate of maybe one a day, instead of The Big One that requires pressure washing the mirror.

[Frelling Tralk]

I'll step up with not just one not-really-a-pimple story, but two.

First up: my daughter was born c-section, and I had the classic bikini-line incision right above the public hair. About two years after she was born, I noticed that the very left edge of the scar was kind of lumpy. I chlked it up to strange scar healing whatever, and ignored it as best I could. Then it started to itch. Maddeningly. So I scratched it as much as I could without being rude in public. One night, lying in bed, I reached down for another scratch and my fingers came back wet. I turned on my lamp, waking my husband, and we both stared in amazement at the 1/2-inch hole in my abdomen. I proceeded, with some assistance from my husband (we're both avid pore-plunderers) and half a box of Kleenex and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, to remove about a half-cup of pus, along with what has to be the world's longest pubic hair. Packed it with Neosporin, covered it with a Band-Aid, and called it a night. Hasn't bothered me in the intervening five years.

Story number two is on behalf of one of the beagles, Shadow. My sister the vet looks at the lumps on her back and says "ah, they're sebaceous cysts" and leaves it at that. I ask her what to do about them, and she says they'll either go away on their own, or they'll rupture one day and make an almighty mess. So one day I'm petting Shadow and I notice that my hand is wet. Sure enough, one of her cysts has ruptured and it reeks. to. high. heaven. I go grab the trusty box of Kleenex and proceed to squeeze the living daylights out of the golf-ball-sized cyst. Blood, pus, goop, clear liquid, you name it, it was coming out of that poor dog's back. And she's such a good dog, she just sat there staring at me curiously while I inflicted all of this on her. It took several months of repeated squeezings for the cyst to finally give up and pretty much go away.

[Frelling Tralk]

Um, pubic. Not public.

[UKCatGirl]

The amount of material I expelled from my pimple is not really anything special, at least not in this thread. What makes this unique is the location. Continuously-producing pores have been mentioned, but mine is on my nipple! Well actually on my areola, near the actual nipple.

One day I became aware that I had had this weird bump thing for quite sometime and wondered at why it was there. Awhile later the urge to squeeze entered my mind. Lo and behold, at little minature icing-looking squirt came out. I hoped it would go away but no such luck. This was about two years ago. So every few days I give it a good squeeze and clear it out. Sometimes I can even massage the base of the pore to coax more stringy gook out!

Did I meet the TMI requirement?

[silenus]

Pictures! We need pictures!

[Frelling Tralk]

The amount of material I expelled from my pimple is not really anything special, at least not in this thread. What makes this unique is the location. Continuously-producing pores have been mentioned, but mine is on my nipple! Well actually on my areola, near the actual nipple.

I've had that, too! Hasn't happened in a few years, and not chronically like you're talking about, but every once in a while I'll get an impacted Gland of Montgomery (that's what the little dots on your aereolae are called) and it will behave like a pimple. Not nearly as explosive as most of what's been revealved on this thread; more like a garden-variety whitehead.

[Dolores Reborn]

Today my husband turned his back to me and asked me to squeeze "that thing on my back." I was flattered!

He told me about the first time he squeezed it and a huge handful of nasty-smelling gunk came out. While he was driving. :D

I have a small cyst on my C-section scar that gives me a skinny white worm occasionally.

[Beware of Doug]

Former pilonidal cyst sufferer here. They're hereditary, you know. My mom had one cut out in 1954 under local anesthesia. 32 years later it was my turn: I was plagued by unending discomfort in the superassal area and reddish-brown stains recurring in my skivvies.

These things are basically just a blind pocket atop your asscrack that's prone to all manner of irritation and inflammation. They have a particularly insatiable appetite for shed body hair, which only inflames them further. And me being a hairy guy, let's just say, didn't help.

Mom said, "Don't settle for local. Get 'em to put you out. I had it back in the day and ai yi yi." (She did get to watch the McCarthy hearings virtually gavel-to-gavel on TV while confined to a prone position, she remembers.) It took some fast talk to the anesthesiologist – right on the friggn table no less – to get him to agree.

Don't remember much about my recovery, except that I had a sweetheart of a nurse trainee in Iowa Methodist and that I didn't dare sleep on my back for a long stretch. I was much happier without the demon hair-eating assal cyst.

[Jeep's Phoenix]

The amount of material I expelled from my pimple is not really anything special, at least not in this thread. What makes this unique is the location. Continuously-producing pores have been mentioned, but mine is on my nipple! Well actually on my areola, near the actual nipple.
I've got one of those, near the outer edge of my right areola. It produces a little blob every two weeks or so.

[AntaresJB]

Oh, I'm so glad this is resurrected! I was just looking at this thread a few days ago, because I recently had a not-exactly-a-pimple story come to an end. Yay!

I've had this... lump... on my back for at least the last six years. It was on the upper part of my right shoulder blade, in a position that I could juuust reach by reaching behind my head with my left hand. It started off small, I figured it was just another pimple, but when I tried to pop it, I realized it was completely under the skin and just would not come out. I tried various pins and needles and eventually just gave up on it.

Gradually, over the years, it grew. Until this... lump... was just a little smaller than a ping-pong ball. Every time I wore a shirt with a low back or someone gave me a back rub, they'd ask, "D'you know you've got a thing on your back?" And I'd explain that yes, I was aware of the thing. But it was still completely under the skin, no surface pore whatsoever. It didn't hurt, even when I poked it, and it was just kind of there.

So I got health insurance about a year ago, but I hate doctors so I put off going to the doctor... finally a few weeks ago I went in for a long overdue physical and mentioned the lump to my doctor. She looked at it and poked it, stated it was probably just a lump of fat and if I wanted it removed they could have it done, but it probably wasn't necessary. I just wanted the damn thing gone, plus I have a high family history of cancer and "probablyjust a lump of fat" wasn't a good enough answer for me (Plus, I gotta admit, I was really curious about what interesting stuff might be in there). So I made an appointment to have it removed.

The surgery was fairly simple. Local anesthetic, a nurse holding my hand... I heard the doctor go "There it is..." after quite a bit of slicing and tugging. The worst part was the sound, that horrid scraping-cutting sound of scalpel on flesh. He cut it out, stitched me up, said they'd send it to pathology just in case, but it looked like an overgrown sebaceous cyst to him, so no worries.

As I was putting my shirt back on and the nurse was cleaning up, she turned to me and said, "Do you wanna see it? Or will that freak you out?" Of course I wanted to see it! THis thing had been growing in my back for over half a decade!

It was about the size of a large grape. Somehow they managed to cut it out intact, without popping the membrane that contained it. He did nick it a little, and there was some cheesy white ooze that smelled completely horrible. They also cut out some of the surrounding tissue so there were like, little globs of flesh stuck to it. Ewwww. Horrible but somehow completely fascinating. I should have taken a picture. I can't decide if I'm glad they didn't pop it or disappointed that they didn't. It would have been way more mess if they had, but it also would have been freakin' awesome. But... then again, it was on my back so I wouldnt' have been able to see it and it would have gone to waste.

So now it's gone and I have six stitches in my back. One of my friends suggested I get someone to slice open my other shoulder blade and let that scar so it looks like I had wings that got cut off. :-p


Man, that wasn't as interesting as I thought, really...

[Penchan]

After reading this thread, I was almost jealous that I never had a huge zit to pop. Until tonight.

I was scratching just inside my nostril because it was itchy when I encountered a bump. I thought it was a hardened piece of nose drippings, so I tried to pull it out. And it HURT! So I decided to look at a mirror and my eyes almost popped out of the sockets when I saw the size of the zit inside my nose. It was monstrously large (remember this is inside my nose, so anything in there is considered large) and I knew that I finally had my zit of all time.

I tried to scratch it out, but that sent lances of pain throughout my head. Nope, looks like it's gonna have to be the old fashioned popping. So I try to place one finger on each side and push. And I see this long column of zit wax start climbing upward as I continued squeezing. I squeeze, the column rises. More squeezing, more climbing. I keep going for a few seconds and the zit crap keeps coming out. How long is this going to go!?

Finally I grabbed the column and pulled. The waxy column was one millimeter wide and about 3-4 millimeters long. Holy crap, I just pulled that out of my nose. It didn't hurt and now there's a shallow crater where the zit was.

I was grossed out as I was popping, but now I'm kinda sad that it's over already. That was a really cool zit.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Finally I grabbed the column and pulled. The waxy column was one millimeter wide and about 3-4 millimeters long.


How much did it weigh?

Did it have a well-developed antler rack?

[chowder]

I was at Phillips Park Chess Congress some years back, I'd had this lump behind my earlobe for ages and was forever playing with it.

Anyways there I was fiddling with my ear when splat!! a load of gunk shot out into my hand and all over my fingers.

That was bad enough but what I did next was worse, I made my move and pressed the button on the clock to change it......that's right I deposited said gunk on my opponents clock button.

[SkipMagic]

Zombie pimples are the grossest, you know. ;)