Mundane Haikus

[Witch]

Laundry room calling
useless is my housewife angst-
Tide weilding wench.



Roof guy ripped me off
the money went up his nose
dont hire cokeheads.




young boy, paintball gun
my childless brother bought it
he must want me dead.




Feel free to add your own!!



P.S.......missed you guys



:D

[Tranquilis]

Something is wrong here
Witch has but two lonely posts
Damn the failed back-up

Glad you're back, O She Of The Once Ever-Expanding Post Count! :D

[Witch]

I mourn my post count
Oh! how I worked to get it
better get crackin'

[-Lodi-]

Just five syllables
Now I must use seven here
This just makes no sense

[Witch]

a good point lodi
but its better than laundry
must revive post count
:D

[FisherQueen]

Oddly quiet house.
When cat gets home from the vet,
He will come sans balls.

[Witch]

Oh ball-less kitty
no more spray on furniture
or ceaseless yowling

[Tranquilis]

Angry Tomcat comes home
leaves hair balls on silk pillows
Take that, ball-pruner!

:D

[Witch]

Witch has seven cats
just ate - lounging in sun
lazy, fat bastards

[Enderw24]

This starts my haiku
now it is halfway finished
I hope you liked it

[swampbear]

Got news for you Witch
Cat may now be missing balls
But he still might spray

[Fern Forest]

one, two, three, four, five
six, seven, eight, nine, ten, umm
twelve, thirteen pennies

[flodnak]

Little bird in tree,
Sweetly singing morning in,
Shut your fargin' yap.

[Tracytron]

dust on windowsill
can i be bothered to clean?
no, i write my name

haiku pull is strong
addicted to the format
i blame witch for this

[swampbear]

pollen ev'rywhere
aaaaaa----chooooooo!
yuck! where's the kleenex?

[belladonna]

the timepiece counts down
the minutes till my escape
tick, you damn thing, tick!


work eats time best spent
dreading the return to work
monday morning blah!


messy kitchen will
eventually stink, yes?
so why clean it now?

[Witch]

spray blissfully gone
going on many years now
and no damn kittens.

Ah, my Lady Tron
I see youve come to feed your
haiku addiction :p

[eunoia]

my mouse is broken
maybe if i just take the...
o.k. that's better

[ResIpsaLoquitor]

This is dedicated to Juniper200:

Stingray sleeps softly.
My poking will not wake him.
Sweet dreams, little one.

[Treviathan]

Whiteout sits on desk.
Is it nasty off-white sludge?
No, 'tis snowy white.

Rubber band sits too.
Can't resist the urge to shoot!
Here, puppy, puppy...

Jesus died today
So that all his followers
Could get day off work.

[racinchikki]

Originally posted by FisherQueen
Oddly quiet house.
When cat gets home from the vet,
He will come sans balls.

but without his balls
can he even come at all?
(not to be vulgar...)

[saepiroth]

log floats on river
waterfall flows it off not
where's the damn T.P.?

true pastime for all
wasting time, making a mess
'net pornography


well, the haiku pedantry of four months ago has finally worn off me.

[interface2x]

Dateline is on now
I should have rented movies
I punish myself


The carpet is stained
My old roommate is an ass
Cleaning costs money


Just ate at Wendy's
Mmm...good chicken sandwiches
Just plain, with some cheese...

[Marley]

home from work, tired
think I'll just sit for a while
oops, three hour nap

what is for dinner?
I think I'll invite some guests
hi, Ben and Jerry

dark and stormy night
I am now out of practice
so I write poorly

[beckwall]

the best commercials
you never saw, my (fat) ass
as always, they suck

use the V C R
I just have to watch E R
Mark Green's gonna die

Milton and Dudley
are in comedy heaven
matching joke for joke

shampoo, rinse, repeat
does anyone repeat, or
is that out of vogue?

sheets on the mattress
never stay put long enough
this makes me so sad

Q. Tarantino
whatcha doin' now these days
get your ass to work

[Tranquilis]

Tomcat is still pissed
Hairballs didn't do the trick
Gonad-thief's fern dies!

[Tracytron]

saturday morning
too many beers at gold star
my head, it hurts so

[belladonna]

fevered baby sleeps
after night spent crying out
but no rest for me

dishes stacking up
floors swept, pets fed, dusting calls
quick! before he wakes

easter sunday nears
yet still haven't bought new clothes
shopping drains me so...

[Big Kahuna Burger]

Haikus, college admissions style

Georgetown rejects me
Only one option right now
Go on a bender

Waitlisted at two
GW is one
I'm smarter than them

Pomona not yet
Still is nothing in the mail
Tell me already

In Macalester
They want me to go badly
But St. Paul is cold

Also in Brandeis
I'd fit in pretty damn well
Because i'm Jewish

In American
Gave me a full scholarship
Looking good right now

UMich waitlisted
I thought I'd get rejected
So go Wolverines!

Tough decision now
Where should I go spend four years?
Board alums, help me

_____________
Not an sig per se
I'm Big Kahuna Burger
A crappy haiku

[Flamsterette_X]

Darn my family!
I must not bow to pressure..
Yay! Sanity saved!

Radio music
Is there anything better?
Maybe I'll watch TV

Got disconnected
Is my mother calling me?
It's my friend, thank Og!

Hey, this is easy!
I'm getting the hang of it!
What literature!

[Wisest Novel]

Originally posted by Witch
Witch has seven cats
just ate - lounging in sun
lazy, fat bastards my advice to Witch
avoid visit from PETA
cease eating your cats


Oh, and :D

[Treviathan]

'Tis Saturday eve
Had a dinner date, but now,
Think I've been stood up.

[Witch]

Ah wisest novel
You also have a wise mouth
Witchie likes your style.






Cleaned for my parents
I need a break from them both
thats what my shrink says.

[seawitch]

Furniture guy speaks
in the language of Moors-
"como se dice?"

[seawitch]

Husband has posted
Under my used I.D.,
He did not tell you.

[seawitch]

Husband has posted
Under my used I.D.,
He did not tell you.

[Wisest Novel]

seawitch and mister
struggle for keyboard control
double posts result

[Witch]

He didn't tell us
but we get the message hun
you posted it twice :cool: :D

[Jester]

Originally posted by BigKahunaBurger
Haikus, college admissions style...
Georgetown hates me too,
They can all kiss my ass now,
But I'm not bitter.

American U.
Sends me offers of money
Maybe I'll go there?

Dear, sweet Northwestern
I want to go so badly
But still, no mail yet.

College is no fun,
When you're trying to get in.
I should just stay home.

ResIpsaLoquitor said...
Stingray sleeps softly.
My poking will not wake him.
Sweet dreams, little one.
Res watches SeaLab
A better show can't be found
I laugh at Stormy.

[Boyo Jim]

I'm bored, bored, bored, bored,
so bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored,
so bored, bored, bored, bored.

I'm repetitive,
So very repetitive,
Repeat after me.

I'm so creative,
I'm a friggin' genius,
or possibly not.

[Wisest Novel]

Wisest Novel blushes
basks in compliment from Witch
sexy pagan gal

[Witch]

My plans for tonight
Could happily curl up with
a real good novel




:D

[Wisest Novel]

lower-case haikus
why is it they remind me
of e. e. cummings?


where are
all of the
short ones?


long way to Boston
daughter's away; I'm lonely
don't know Witch to choose

[AbbySthrnAccent]

my pencil is dull
electric sharpener is
way across the room

[Cartooniverse]

Some kinds of words will
Not require a pencil but
Float from mind to mind.

;)

[AbbySthrnAccent]

sending a rootbeer float
cold ice cream and frothy sweet
from my mind to yours

[AbbySthrnAccent]

I made a mistake!
I meant, "...sending rootbeer float"
embarrassing gaff :o

[Marley]

Originally posted by AbbySthrnAccent
I made a mistake!
I meant, "...sending rootbeer float"
embarrassing gaff :o

I'll gladly take your
rootbeer float (make mine diet)
no matter how many syllables you use in your haiku

:D

[AbbySthrnAccent]

You must be kidding!
Why bother with a diet
rootbeer float? IN DULGE!

[Marley]

My head hurts a lot
It must be because I am
doing my taxes

I'm doing them twice
They were done, then a second
1099 came

I waited on hold
with IRS for hours
forgot why I called

I must fill out forms
no mere mortal has heard of
even experts weep

Hours of struggling
At last my taxes are done!
I owe ten more bucks

[Boyo Jim]

You made a mistake.
What kind of excuse is that?
Do better next time.

Meanwhile, to make good
your disgrace, on your knees and
Squeal like a piglet!

How is it that I,
a bright, intelligent guy,
can't even get laid?

Dog barks at sunrise.
My damn shotgun is empty.
My taser is charged!

Madison, my home.
Number one on so many lists.
Are we cool, or what?

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Carefully counting
syllables, so IM friends
cannot tease with glee.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Marley taxes are
like jumping through hoops sans feet.
I got a refund!
:D

[Cartooniverse]

The quote that comes to
Mind, you see, is "Thou Doth Pro-
Test too much"-I see !!!

For surely it's said
"The Play's The Thing Wherein We
Catch the conscience of

The King who left us
While Queen Mother Reigned Supreme
Whose sun never set

Till One Equinox
Laid waste her Reign and brought us
To this present day

Each word a gemstone
Finely tumbled from fine lips
To grace these pages

[Marley]

No, yojimboguy,
I didn't make a mistake
Datek mailed late

Hey, AbbySthrn
How's our TechnoSphere baby (http://www.technosphere.org.uk/cgi-bin/tree.exe?id=2586400)?
When you gonna pop?

[AbbySthrnAccent]

No yojimboguy,
squealing like a piglet is
out of the question.

Is is best left to
people with four syllable
screen names just like yours.

[Marley]

Preview is my friend
I got lucky this time, but
Preview is my friend

[AbbySthrnAccent]

I haven't a clue
when my technosphere baby
is due. Be patient.

[Boyo Jim]

Your screen name inspires,
oh AbbySthrnAccent,
what a space filler!

I, yojimboguy
need more syllables than you
if you use your name.

I, yojimboguy,
You, AbbySthrnAccent,
we can't share ONE line? :(

[Marley]

I beg forgiveness
It's my first one, can you tell?
Anticipation

[Marley]

Gee, yojimboguy,
Marley, yojimboguy, and
there is room to spare

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Abbysthrnaccent and
Yojimboguy can share a
a short haiku with grace.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

apparently I
cannot count syllables with
accuracy. ick

that was so not a
graceful sharing of haiku
mortified again

[ElwoodCuse]

Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen is their slave

[Marley]

Remember dearest
AbbySthrnAccent, it
is called poetic license

:cool:

[AbbySthrnAccent]

I will try again
Abbysthrnaccent shares
with Yojimboguy.

[Wisest Novel]

our own Dear Abby
brings new life into the Sphere
with a southern twang

one has to wonder
old enough to be old maid
where's Marley's Sphere child?

hail yojimboguy
hope his muse is a hottie
def poets deserve

no Dopers
dare try
three-two-threes

[Flamsterette_X]

I dislike parents
When I decided to go
Out today, they were

In the neighborhood
Trying to look for me; damn!
If only I'd not

Gone out right then to
Have lunch and time by myself!
I'd still be mellow

Now I'm all riled up
This is not such a good thing
Tomorrow will come

Perhaps it will be
Different, though I doubt it
Time to myself RULES!

[Marley]

Originally posted by Wisest Novel
no Dopers
dare try
three-two-threes

You think so?
Are you
kidding me?

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Marley made
question
post haiku!

[Flamsterette_X]

Originally posted by AbbySthrnAccent
Marley made
question
post haiku!

Marley did indeed
Make a question post haiku
I think that's awesome!

[Wisest Novel]

Abby and Marley
having read some of their posts
formidable gals

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Hi Wisest Novel
Welcome to the Straight Dope Board.
Beware addiction.

[Marley]

Abby is
up to
the challenge!

[Marley]

Sloo-oo-oo-oo-oow
The board is sloo-oo-oo-oow
Soon I will fall... zzzzzzzz

[Wisest Novel]

ode to Stefanie
self-proclaimed complex woman
every bit of that

brave beyond your years
hero of the underdog
and secretly mine

how big is your heart?
never met an animal
you couldn't take in

brighter than a star
you consume books like breathing
and exhale the gist

gorgeous? holy cats!
long blond hair and cool blue eyes
slate grey when angry

hard times behind us
you hold the keys to my heart
and strength for trials to come

couldn't be prouder
have I told you lately that
I love you, daughter?

[Another Primate]

Originally posted by Marley
home from work, tired
think I'll just sit for a while
oops, three hour nap

what is for dinner?
I think I'll invite some guests
hi, Ben and Jerry

I don't know Marley
But his haikus make me laugh
An Easter thank-you

[Witch]

Ok that made me cry.



My teenage daughter
driving us all up the wall
three years 'til college.

[Marley]

Originally posted by Another Primate
I don't know Marley
But his haikus make me laugh
An Easter thank-you

you don't know Marley
but your haiku about her
has made her smile

:D

[Another Primate]

Originally posted by Marley


you don't know Marley
but your haiku about her
has made her smile

:D

Another Primate's
sorry for misgendering
Connecticut girl

[Another Primate]

why do I assume
that northeast USA means
Connecticut, eh?

[Marley]

It's OK, Primate
this Connecticut woman
is not offended

;)

[Another Primate]

Originally posted by Marley
It's OK, Primate
this Connecticut woman
is not offended

;)

Wallingford childhood
I loved Savon Rock hot dogs
Hammonassett Beach

[Witch]

I love new england
The sea, the history, the
6 months of winter

[Big Kahuna Burger]

Connecticut guy
Misses the Whalers greatly
Karmanos eats shit

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Sunday roast cooking
Potatoes, carrots, rolls, pie
Dinner with family

[Marley]

Pasta, salad, bread
wine, ham, mushrooms, yams, turkey
L-tryptophan ... sleeeep ...

[Marley]

Originally posted by Witch
I love new england
The sea, the history, the
6 months of winter

Witch, visit again
been a while since you've been here
now winter's 6 days

[Marley]

I'm starting to think
all posts should be haiku form
clear and concise, please

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Tag, you're it!
Let's play
haiku tag.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Either three two three
or five seven five will work.
Come play haiku tag.

Pile of laundry from
the pool table begs to be
put away folded.

[Wisest Novel]

I guess I can start
when she returns from housework
Abby finds she's it

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Originally posted by Wisest Novel
I guess I can start
when she returns from housework
Abby finds she's it

No tag back's either
I bet. Looking around for
a real slow runner.

[Cartooniverse]

Stripped Of Safety Net
The Haikuish Dopers Smile
Our Wit Is Our Joy.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Hey, Cartooniverse!
Ha, tag buddy, you are it!
Taps Toons turns and runs.

[Cartooniverse]

A real slow runner
Abby chose wisely with that
I'm it, here I sit !

Giggling as I
Proceed To My Keyboard Now
Rubbing Hands In Glee.......

[Marley]

Darting and leaping
Marley dodges the tag
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!

:p

[Cartooniverse]

Day late, dollar short
Poor Marley doesn't see it
Already tagged back !!!!!

:cool:

[Cartooniverse]

Alas, poor Marley
Volvo Nutmeg Whalers rule !
Captive in her State....

[Marley]

Hello, nine-one-one?
Cartooniverse speaks in tongues
Send men in white coats

[Witch]

Hello dear Marley
I'd visit New England but
lived here all my life

:D

[Flamsterette_X]

Originally posted by Marley
Pasta, salad, bread
wine, ham, mushrooms, yams, turkey
L-tryptophan ... sleeeep ...

So that's what makes you
Very sleepy when you eat
Great turkey dinners

My friends and I were
Talking about it last night
And wondering what

It was called; we all
Knew that it was some kind of
Chemical.. we're GOOD! :D

[Big Kahuna Burger]

Update on
College
Statuses

Pomona wait list
I am already on three
These schools can't decide

[Hello Again]

I am still reeling;
No big screen at Cheyenne Mount.
Wargames lied! I weep.



Now I will add some
delightful shopping haiku
They're very mundane

Home for Passover
Shopping for a stlyle-y suit
Bargain! thirty bucks

In New York thrift store
(it was a fancy thrift store)
on Twenty-third street

I also bought a blanket
for my horse; found a big sale
at Miller's Harness

Finally, I bought
Chinese spicy beef jerky
on Canal Street. Yum.

[Caricci]

Boss is off today
I am just sitting around
She'll be back Tuesday.

[seawitch]

now I am at work
hubby cannot take keyboard
hope I don't post twice



My boss is home sick
My day will revolve around
Straight Dope post reading

Just before leaving
I will shuffle paper stacks
He will think I worked

[Wisest Novel]

Hi, Hello Again!
Really liked our long convos,
'Cept NORAD spoilers. :o

Corporate Borders gal
Stylin' in new Power Suit.
Don't tell 'em the price.

Empty pasture--sad.
Give H. A. carrots from me
And enjoy the rides.

Four days to ChiDope!
Only thing better would be
If you could be there.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

The Villager has
left me stranded with a dead
battery. Dangit.

[EasyPhil]

Awake late tonight
Sleep precious, and elusive
Ha! Found it, I'm out.

[Witch]

chocolate for breakfast
so close and so seductive
and I am so weak.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

I should be at work.
I haven't left the house.
I should be at work.

[Witch]

Abby's a slacker
join me in my laziness
and I have candy.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Now I have to sign off
and go to work. I can't be
a lazy slacker. :(

[Witch]

For that I'm sorry
I'll save you some chocolate hun
I'll try anyway
:D

[AbbySthrnAccent]

At work and checking
the bosses email (among
other things). Heh.

Chocolate you say?
Creamy smooth milk chocolate
or dark, rich chocolate?

Can you upload some?
I am wishing for a star
trek replicator.

Milkduds, tootsie rolls
Snickers, Hershey bars galore!
Katy bar the door!

[EasyPhil]

Email Chocolate
Yeah! My recent invention
Want some? Email me.

[Witch]

chocolate by email
we have the technology
stupid man on moon

[Cartooniverse]

Tootsie Roll Starburst
Lunar Shot Moon Walk Man
Sweet Tooth Goddess Light

Voyager died out?
Your van is a starship yes?
Tootsie Roll Powered !!!

Abby got to work and then
She shared her tootsie rolls with
The Dopers Worldwide.



:cool:

[Cartooniverse]

Mott the Hoople sings
All The Young Dudes Carry The
News, I'm in heaven !!!!!!

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Originally posted by Cartooniverse
Tootsie Roll Starburst
Lunar Shot Moon Walk Man
Sweet Tooth Goddess Light

Voyager died out?
Your van is a starship yes?
Tootsie Roll Powered !!!

Abby got to work and then
She shared her tootsie rolls with
The Dopers Worldwide.

:cool:

I'm laughing out loud
It's a Villager that died,
not a Voyager.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Nice mistake Toonie
I have not yet heard of a
Villager star ship.

Yummy tootsie rolls
The forlorn bag is empty
someone send me some!

[EasyPhil]

Your Villager died?
The one made by Mercury?
Yes? Call Triple A

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Welcome EasyPhil
The SDMB will have
you addicted soon!

[Cartooniverse]

NPR Beantown
Boys Do Their Car Talk Party
Is This All We Are?