Sharing a computer with a partner

[istara]

I really don't think I could. Not that this has ever been an issue, because I've either had ultra-non-techie bfs who have only needed to be lent my laptop occasionally, or I haven't been living with them. Or I didn't then have a home computer, or whatever.

But if I set up shop with a bf, and we were both regular internet/computer users, there's no damn way I could share a computer. Even if he was a Mac freak too. I would rather permanently share a toothbrush than a computer.

I would also want my own ISP, and quite probably my own phone line (if we were both heavy users). If we could get permanent broadband then a home network would be fine.

But my laptop is my personal space. I don't even use it 24/7 or surf the web that much from home. It's just mine mine mine, and I'm closer to it than to my own underwear.

And as for couples I know that share FREE web-based email accounts... that to me is like being grafted to your partner like a conjoined twin...

[Tansu]

Two computers networked, one phone line. Not his and hers computers as such, though. We still have to manage with 56k dialup, since we live in the boonies, where ADSL has not yet been "rolled out" (what do they think it is, pastry?).
Bandwidth is an issue. "Oi, are you f---ing downloading something enormous?" I'll frequently ask, as the SDMB, UnaBoard or Brunching slow to slime mould pace.

No way in the world I could share an email account! Ack!

[Geek Mecha]

Next month, when we move, I might find myself temporarily sharing my iMac with KKBattousai. (I'm shipping mine over; he's going to build himself a new PC.) And the prospect doesn't bother me at all. If anything, the sight of him using an iMac will be a source of endless amusement for me. :)

I have some things on this computer that I'd consider personal, such as correspondence with friends, my ICQ message archives, and things I've written. But there's little on there that he doesn't know about, or that I would be ashamed over him finding out about or reading.

This isn't to say that I'd let anybody wander in and use my machine. Quite the contrary. Forget about sharing a computer with my mom... jeez, I get nervous if she's even in the same room as me while I do stuff on the computer. And I can't type to save my life if someone is watching me.

I think it's just a matter of him being lucky enough to not trip my discomfort/paranoia alarms.


I draw the line at e-mail accounts.

[Why A Duck]

Thankfully my spouse hates computers and will only use them if she has to write something for work or if she has a serious Tetris jones. She occasionally emails people from our shared account, but for the most part it's my domain.

Now when my toddler gets older, all bets are off. She's already shown an interest in computers and will probably be a machine hog. Hopefully by then we'll have broadband and I can set her up on our old computer.

[AHunter3]

You could use a hot-swappable hard drive (e.g., a FireWire external) and each have your own environment untrammeled by the other. Put your applications on the internal drive, I guess, but all the prefs and stuff will be on the removable that you boot from.

[FlyingDragonFan]

My roommate uses my computer more than I do, since I get most of it taken care of at work. I have an email account, with a separate address set aside for her.
Now, work is a different computer. This is my domain. I don't stop other people from sitting down at my desk if they need to, but boy do I get ansty when they do. Not for any real reason, just territoriality.

And istara, did I misread you, or did you say you keep your laptop in your underwear?? :D

[astro]

Wll it depends on whether your PC is an applicance or a personal living and working space. Mine is the latter. Complete, fairly powerful net ready PCs can be had few hundred dollars (even notebooks) if you shop around on Ebay or some clearance sites like www.computergeeks.com or www.ubid.com. I finally got separate PCs for the kids and most of the fighting went away except struggles for the telephone line (until we got cable internet) . Granted my rec room looks like mission control but that's not always a bad thing ;)

[Kiki]

My SO and I share our home computer. We basically only use it to play games though (Pimpwar and Mobfather rule!!) But we both have our own e-mail accounts... not that there's anything to hide but, just like snail mail, if it's mine... I wanna read it first!

[DeadlyAccurate]

Share a computer? My husband and I have had separate computers networked together since before that was even remotely common (6+ years). We have back-to-back L-shaped computer desks in the largest room in the house for our computer room. We share our DSL service, of course, using a router, but neither of us is inclined to ever get on the other's computer. It's about as weird as if I were to sit at some stranger's computer.

We have both joint and separate email accounts.

[istara]

FlyingDragonFan no - but I would if I thought someone inappropriate was trying to get their hands on it.

Then again, I would want their hands in my underwear even less...

[Helen's Eidolon]

I actually got into a huge fight about this with my boyfriend a little while ago.

You know what he did? He rearranged my start menu without my permission! Man, I almost killed him. I let him use my computer, okay, but it's my computer. It fels like such an invasion of my personal space.

When we eventually move out together, you better believe he's getting his own.

[racinchikki]

I own my own computer; Gunslinger does not. If, once we move in together, he really wants to go buy himself his very own computer he can do so but I really don't care. Since this is my computer I expect to be the final authority on how everything is set up, but he can use it all he wants and I'll give him a folder on the hard drive and everything. It's fine with me. I used to share the home computer with everyone else in my family, and he shares his home computer with everyone in his family, so I don't think it'll be an issue.

However, no matter how much I love and trust him, if I ever catch him reading my email he'll get an ass-whupping. It's not that I have anything to hide; it's the principal of the thing.

[Niobium Knight]

You'd need to password protect all your porn and stuff. that would suck.

[racinchikki]

Originally posted by Niobium Knight
You'd need to password protect all your porn and stuff. that would suck.
See, I don't care if Gunny has porn on the computer, as long as he doesn't change my desktop picture to a beaver shot or something.

[rjung]

Why not just set up multiple user accounts? What's yours is yours, what's mine is mine, and you can't see any of my stuff unless I give you privileges to do so.

[LordVor]

I share with the Lady Vor. You can set Mozilla shortcuts to launch with a specific profile, so we each have our own separate email accounts, bookmark lists, etc.

And she has an open mind about porn.

-lv

[tallinu]

Nope, never, not gonna happen....

I have no problem sharing knowledge, but my PC's are mine. The few times I've shared, the other person changed things, a personal no-no for me. I like to tweak my systems to be just a certain way. In time this became an active dislike of other people using them. I have some personal things on them as well, things I do not want shared. I also have confidential data from work on them. All in all, it's just better for me to have my own and let them have their own, even buy it for them if that's needed.

Currently, living with a friend and his family, we have a home network and sharing certain directories is fine, as is giving them access to the DSL circuit, no problem with that whatsoever, as long as it is understood that if I need the full bandwidth (which does happen occasionally), they have to get off or they will be dropped, after a warning, of course..

[thecolonist]

I have to share my computer with my SO and an 8 year old kid. No wonder the thing crashes about once every ten minutes.

[Badtz Maru]

For a while my wife was using my computer, back when hers was on dialup and I was on cable, because it was faster. She was mostly cool, except for...

1. Reading my embarassing drunken posts on SDMB

and

2. Installing some program that made itself the default player for a bunch of media types and that had spyware components

Other than that, she's treated my computer with respect and I don't mind her using it.

[kanicbird]

I need my computer for work and so does my wife - so we have 2 desktops. IF one goes down then we have a laptop that could stand in or we share until it's working.

As for email - we both have multiple accounts so that's really not a problem

For the most part our computers are our own but neither of us really mind if the other uses theirs as long as it's not when they need it. Also we would rather use our own.

We don't change each others settings - the default settings are basically the same i.e. open each folder in it's own window display full MS DOS name - I Hate when these are the other way - Hate! Hate! Hate! and don't hide extentions either.

I do the maintance on both (well all 3) so occationally some new icon pops up on my wifes computer - she askes me about it - I tell her and she decides to either use it or put in in a pile of icons that she will never use and doesn't really want to see but knows I need them for maintance.

[Medea's Child]

*eye twitch*

*shudder*

This is one of about three areas where Medea's Guy and I have issues.

Okay, I have issues, he has big wide innocent eyes and the ongoing proclimation "What'd I do?"

My computer is my heart, my home, my widdle baby snookums, even though I'm never near it. He's always near it. He's moved it to his house next to his computer and he still uses mine all the time. (Next time he opens his mouth with a Mac vs PC arguement I'm going to shut it for him. So if Macs are so great why do you use my computer ALL THE TIME?!?") He cahngedmy background, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. He downloads stuff (God knows what) and puts it on my computer (He argues that his gaming programs won't run on a Mac. See above on his Mac vs. PC arguements.)

I go ballistic. Okay, I go into convulsions like an OCD patient off thier medication staring at the average kindergarten playground in a food fight. While I struggle to keep my voice calm and level, knowing I'm being totally off the deep end words come out of my mouth "Why...did...you...do...that?" And Mr. Bright-Eyes goes "Huh? What's wrong honey?" I restrain myself from leaping for the keyboard to mutter about my precious.

He thinks I'm nuts. I want him to leave my computer alone.

[Manda JO]

My husband's and I's relationship got much better after we got the second computer. It's not a territorial issue for us, but a time one: we both like to spend a great deal of time on the computer, and it's simpler now that one person's use of the computer dosne't mean that the other has to (horrors of horrors) find something else to do.

Plus, we each have our own desks wiht our own messes now, and it's always easier to find your stuff on a messy desk if you are the only one making the piles.

Irronically, now that we have two computers the TV has become obsolete: except for the Buffy Phase and the occasional movie, it has gone virtually unused for the last year.

[FunLvnCriminal]

I have no problem shareing a computer with my wife. I have nothing to hide from her and she knows all my passwords if she wants to look around. My wife and I share the same online enjoyments for the most parts so hell, If she wants to look at my history to see where I've been so she can check it out too. Thats fine.

As far as a shared email account, I wouldn't mind. Now my wife, that is another story. She keeps multiple emails, some of which I'm sure I don't know about. But, thats the way she likes it, and I respect that, at least now that I've gotten used to it.:D

[Tattva]

The SO and I already have separate computers, and we will keep them when we move in together.

He likes his res at 800x600, I can't stand anything below 1024x768. And he has switched mine in the past. GRRRRRR. Then the icons aren't where they're supposed to be.

I also had to deal with a roommate sharing my computer. For some reason, the computer would run perfectly whenever I was using it, but would crash every 5 minutes when he was on it. It really made me wonder what he was doing. But it was also running WinME.

[rjung]

Okay, given that it appears most of the folks in this thread don't follow the idea of individual accounts (which allows for personalized settings, such as screen resolution and icon placement), can I be boggled :eek: now?

[Tattva]

Well, in my case, we both already have computers, so why bother? If we didn't, then I probably would set up two accounts on my XP Pro machine.

Before, when I was having problems with my roommate, I was dealing with WinME. The system protection given by the Windows Login isn't all that great; you could just cancel at the login box.

[racinchikki]

Once upon a time I had my own account on my parents' computer so I could have my own background and stuff. If I changed the colors and the screen resolution it affected everybody, not just my personal account. My mom was always yelling at me for it. Plus it made the computer (which wasn't exactly high-powered; I doubt I'll ever be able to afford or particular care about purchasing a high-powered computer) really, really slow. This was on Win98, I believe. Anyway it kind of turned me off to the whole "separate accounts on the same computer" thing that people keep bringing up like it's the magic cure for computer-sharing woes.

[KarlGrenze]

I used to share the computer back home with my parents. One computer, 3 people. My dad didn't use it as much, since he didn't know a lot about them and was afraid of screwing it up(more than it was). Mom and me were the most frequent users. No separate accounts, we each had our own floppies if we stored something outside the computer. Internet access was not a problem, because I was the only one with MSN messenger and AIM accounts, and never gave the passwords to my parents. The three of us have separate emails.

When I left for college, mom and dad each got their own IM accounts. During the winter vacation, the computer finally died and mom used my laptop sometimes in order to type her work. Now they have a new computer and share it.

PD. Dad also types a lot, but he uses a computerized typewriter (Olivetti), instead of the computer. Before 1995, all three of us had to share the Olivetti.

[rjung]

Originally posted by racinchikki
If I changed the colors and the screen resolution it affected everybody, not just my personal account. ... Anyway it kind of turned me off to the whole "separate accounts on the same computer" thing that people keep bringing up like it's the magic cure for computer-sharing woes.
That's a fault with the operating system, then. A well-designed OS will let you support any number of user accounts without having them impact each other.

I can't see a reason to fault the principle just because Microsoft screwed up the implementation. :)

[Urban Ranger]

If you want to share a PC, it takes two things, First of all, one of them have to be a geek, and the other one non-geek, so the urge to tinkle with the machine will not end up in brawls :D

Secondly, you need an operating system that supports multiple users with their own preferences. You can choose NT/2000/XP if Windows is your cup of tea, or you can use Linux/BSD/Solaris.

But it's not recommended. Just have two computers on a LAN.

[BooBoo316]

My wife and I shared a computer for about two years and it was a huge pain in the ass. I love computer games and she is a huge Tetris freak (she can play for hours). Don't even get me started about scheduling online time. Now I have my machine and she has hers, all is right with the world.

Now, if I can convince her to start playing some "real" games instead of lining up blocks all the time. ;) I would love to play BG2 over the LAN with her.

[LordVor]

Originally posted by rjung
Okay, given that it appears most of the folks in this thread don't follow the idea of individual accounts (which allows for personalized settings, such as screen resolution and icon placement), can I be boggled :eek: now?

Step 1) Power on PC.
Step 2) Go get a soda, water, go to the bathroom, whatever, while it comes up
Step 3) Use computer.

MS OSes up to (and possibly including, since I haven't used it before) XP, designed their system so you have a good pause after you start it up but before you log in, and then another good pause after you log in and before you can actually do anything. Gets totally annoying.

-lv