View Full Version : The Goops
04-02-2002, 05:20 AM
Anybody else know who The (http://www.thegoops.net/index.html) Goops (http://www.library.utoronto.ca/utel/rp/poems/burgess8.html) are?
They've always appealed to me. I've always liked the one about being on time. Especially the start "Goodness gracious sakes alive."
My mother also used certain poems to recite to us when we were naughty. Although I've never heard that second poem though. I still like it. Mmm?
04-02-2002, 05:30 AM
This one's my favorite. He's so perfect. But he lied once or twice. Oh dear, oh my, a child lie? Heaven forbid.
The Gentle CEPHAS tried his Best to Please his Friends with Merry Jest;
He tried to Help Them, when he Could, for CEPHAS, he was Very Good;
And Yet -- They Say he Used to Cry, and Once or Twice he Told a Lie!
04-02-2002, 06:57 AM
The Goops, they lick their fingers
The Goops, they lick their knives
They spill their broth on the tablecloth
Oh they lead disgusting lives.
From memory, after 30 years, yet!
I used to love The Goops.
04-02-2002, 06:59 AM
I just clicked on Osiris's link: there was a second verse!
04-02-2002, 07:27 AM
Ahh, Gellett Burgess.
He also gave us the infamous poem "The Purple Cow", and added several odd words to the English Language.
He was a big influence on Winsor McCay, and seems to have been the first person to illustrate that now-cliche, the Giant Monster Attacking a City while people stampede away.
04-02-2002, 04:35 PM
So did they make you any more moral Fenris? I can honestly say the first one about being on time has always motivated me to indeed be on time. And as I kid I didn't want to be called, of all things, a Goop!
04-02-2002, 05:34 PM
Nah. Frankly I always thought the Goops were kinda cool.
I wanted to lead a disgusting life. :)
04-02-2002, 05:45 PM
To tell you the truth, the Goops - looking like bizarre deformed mutants - always creeped me out. I also hated their moral messages.
04-02-2002, 06:38 PM
I too knew, while growing up,
The exploits of THE GOOPS;
Such tales would merit my mother's tupp'
In steering me through my hoops.
Gellett Burgess' didactic verse
Covers every conceivable error:
Of soiled hands, and tantrums, and worse,
Ever wielded by tyros of terror.
And so THE GOOPS have now so schooled
Five generations of would-be brats.
But can we honestly say we're ruled
By Burgess's graduates?
IS IT PROPER, one could ask,
To parade like Andersen's emperor?
As if for Oscar glory one should bask
In finery that's, um, "caveat emptor"?
And IS IT PROPER, one could query,
Of one's moral failings (or plain bad luck),
To reveal it all on national T.V.,
As if the millions gave a f---? :D
And IS IT SPORTING, they cry throughout the land,
When vying in athletic competition,
To cheat one's way to the medal stand,
Or win through a judge's corrupt decision?
And IS IT MORAL, one could sigh,
To drum up millions for one's own coffers,
In the Name of He Who Liveth On High,
Or for a much-hyped Initial Public Offer?
And IS IT FITTING, one could ask with yearning,
To manipulate the market?
To lay off workers or falsify earnings
To meet a quarterly target?
And IS IT JUSTICE, one might shout,
To view the world in ME's and YOU's,
And to muster all the angry MEs' clout
And shroud the day with war-like news?
I'm afraid to spoil Burgess' mirth,
But the children should be told
That the meek (and polite) don't own this earth.
But who would be so bold?
04-02-2002, 09:09 PM
Hmmm, I'm not sure if that's a sign of brilliance of having too much time on your hands Scrivener. But I like it.
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