Oral Sex Techniques

Okay, that subject header outta get some attention.

But seriously ya'll, I want to know where I can learn oral sex technique. I'm not a porn film fan, and books I've looked at focus on intercourse positions. Online, I've had to wade through countless porn sites, and what I've found hasn't been very helpful.

The situation is, I have a small mouth (and TMJ that pops painfully if I open it too wide), and a, ahem, big boyfriend. We've done some experiementing, and there are some things he likes, but I want to basically feel like I know what I'm doing.

Heck, I wouldn't mind a few Emails or IMs or ICQs on the subject.

Feeling like a teenager (but 7 years past it)...

Laura

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"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."

Well, first, you have to have all your teeth removed and...

Come on! You didn't read a book to learn to ride a bike, did ya? Experimentation and practice will yield far better results than you could ever get out of a book or off the internet.

How many variations on this theme can there be? And WHY don't you feel like you know what you're doing? is boyfriend not satisfied? has he been specific about what he wants? It's hard to give advice without knowing specifically what you all are trying to achieve. (Jeez, you mean we can write about this stuff here? I expect the moderator to jump in here any minute!)
I have a small mouth too, but not sure that matters so much. (Tongue action and deep throat) Is he big as in LONG? and does that mean you can't get it all in?

[[And WHY don't you feel like you know what you're doing? is boyfriend not satisfied? has he been specific about what he wants? It's hard to give advice without knowing specifically what you all are trying to achieve.]]

Well, I don't feel like I know what I'm doing because 1) I had absolutely no experience with this prior to him--so literally, I don't know what I'm doing, and 2) --hope he doesn't mind my sharing-- He has never orgasmed, or really been particularly close, from any oral sex technique. As a result, I am terribly insecure about the whole thing and frankly don't like performing it on him, because I feel so incompetent, self-conscious, and frustrated.

As far as his size, he is quite long and thick. I can't really get much past the first two inches. (It's pretty much just the head, maybe an inch or so past it.)

This is a little embarrassing, but I've known this group for 2 years and trust ya'll enough to share it anyway. Thanks and stuff.

BTW, we've talked about it a few times, and he has no real complaints; says he likes it, that it would be nice if it was enough, but it's great warm-up nonetheless. Still, I would love to find the right gimmick to make it an event in and of itself. ;)

If you must read a book, read the Savage Love guy's book.It should be in there.

Ummm... I'm not the moderator but I humbly suggest that this be discussion be moved to the "Rotary or pivoting head?" topic.


Alphagene

I know that nobody asked, and this really doesn't answer the question...

I've found that when performing oral sex on a woman, the best way to go about it is my own "A-B-C" technique (patent pending). While you're going at it, enunciate the letters of the alphabet one by one. You can get to be quite adept at this with practice. It's a mystery, but it seems to work.

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That cat's something I can't explain

Dear LauraRae:

The only way to "feel like you know what you're doing" is to KNOW what you're doing. Practice, practice, practice, and do whatever gives YOU pleasure. Once you start enjoying something, and if you get proper feedback from your partner, you'll be able to give him pleasure.
Unless you enjoy pain, don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable (like opening your mouth TOO wide).
Just relax, and go for the ride.
BTW, your boyfriend is sure lucky to have a girlfriend like you!

Good luck!

This site may help you out...

Oral Sex : Third Base (http://www.carnal.net/html/ck1-b.html)

While you're going at it, enunciate the letters of the alphabet one by one.

I bet L-M-N-O-P goes over well.

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There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and discipline. -Montaigne

Lucifer_Sam
Member posted 06-23-99 10:56 PM
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I know that nobody asked, and this really doesn't answer the question...
I've found that when performing oral sex on a woman, the best way to go about it is my own "A-B-C" technique (patent pending). While you're going at it, enunciate the letters of the alphabet one by one. You can get to be quite adept at this with practice. It's a mystery, but it seems to work.
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Hmmmmmmmmm........if that has been patented by anyone, I would say that the one to do it would have been Sam Kinison(sp). He talked about that on one of his tapes that I have here somewhere that he recorded many years ago. Long before he died in fact and he's been dead for quite awhile.


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Visit Spedrick's Playground @ http://members.xoom.com/Spedrick/

Laura, for starters, if you know you're going to be orally involved in advance, TAKE MOTRIN. Go for 800 MG of the stuff, and it'll do wonders for the TMJ. Trust me on this one. My dentist gets mad if I forget to take my Motrin before going in for a check up, because I pop and complain about it the entire time.

Secondly (aw hell, am I actually doing this?? Miz Scarlet, move over), something you have to remember is that a penis is generally more sensitive near the tip anyway. If your mouth can't manage the length, go with your strengths, kid. Don't push it to the pain point for yourself, or no one will have any fun. You have a hand that can make up the difference near the base. Besides, a good sucking action will negate the problem anyway.

Teasing with the tongue and kissing is fine -- but rarely produces results. Think about it this way: a man masturbating rarely sits and just taps at himself. He's going for a full stroke. Use the teasing to get him excited, play if you both enjoy it, but don't rely on it for an orgasm. There's a reason why intercourse involves a steady repetitive motion -- it works.

Some guys get off on teeth -- a very precious few of them. Teeth in such a delicate area make most men very very nervous. Save your nibbling for fingertips. Men make jokes about toothless women with flat heads (to rest a drink on, of course) for a reason.

Watch him. Look like you are enjoying yourself. Smile a lot. Eye contact is a bonus, as it makes the both of you feel like you're doing something good and right and fun. Don't fake enjoying it. Like a dog and fear, they can smell boredom. He usually won't CARE, but that doesn't really improve your relationship.

The suck: this is an art in itself. Just sucking inside your mouth with your cheeks is going to make you sore before your time, and not get a lot accomplished if he's one of the men that take more stimulation for longer periods to acheive orgasm. You'll be too tired to care if he gets off or not. Instead, try more of a swallowing effect combined with it. Even though you aren't going to suck the entire thing down your throat, the move is a complete follow through, more like a natural stroke instead of a short jerk. Pretend you're gulping a drink. Feel that long swallowing sensation? Go with it.

And for cryin out loud, "spit" doesn't mean "spit." That's tacky, and won't win you brownie points either. If you can't abide the thought of swallowing, just let it flow back out of your mouth and down his penis, or don't let it into your mouth in the first place.

This oral sex message has been brought to you by the letter F and the numbers 6 and 9.



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Suze -- what AM I doing? -- anne
_____
The Burning Begins Anew at
http://www.second-troy.com/

Damn, Louie, that's a helluva fine link. Thanks! :::printing it out:::

And Suzeanne, thanks for your candidness. I feel much the apprentice, here. ;)

Hey, and everyone, I really appreciate that I can come to this board with such frank questions and not be scolded, judged, or censored (I doubt this convo would have been possible on the AOL board).

So, thanks. :)

Laura

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"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."

Suze said it well, but I would like to add a few of my own pointers.

Relax, open your throat, don't be afraid of choking, and just take him in. You will be suprised at how far you can take him into you mouth if you just relax.

You should also pay attention to an area that usually gets missed but an area that makes guys wild. Bend your index finger and press, with the knuckle, that area between the balls and . . . . ahem. . . . butthole. Ooops - sorry.

ANYWAY. . .

Firmly press that area and either rotate your knuckle in a small kneading or pulsating action. For the truly brave, you can actually put a finger carefully (use spit on your finger) into his bum and massage his prostate. It is the quarter-size hard area about 1 to 2 inches inside his anus.




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>^,,^<
KITTEN

He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok. - Confucius

Holy Fright, Louie!!! That web site made me need a fan in my office! ::aside:: Hmm, I wonder what my hubby's doing for lunch?

Hey, maybe I can come over and show ya how to do it? vbg.

Sex was not a topic much discussed in my home when I was growing up. When I was a young teenager (15?), I got hold of a book about the "wild life" that stewardesses live. My mother evidently felt some obligation to make sure that I knew the facts of life, and one day she said to me "Did you read all of that book?" "Yes Mom?" "Did you understand it?" "Yes Mom." "Do you have any questions?" "No Mom." "Well, there's just one more thing. You know what they mean when they refer to ::long pause, hushed voice:: 69?" "Yes Mom." ::Longer pause, blush:: "Catholics don't do that."

(Mom was wrong!)

-Melin

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I'm a woman phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me
(Maya Angelou)

LauraRae:

Try alternating the gulping with what I like to call "The Ice Cream Cone Technique." My husband loves it.

Pretty good advice, isn't it? ;)

[[Pretty good advice, isn't it?]]

Damn fine advice. Put a little of it into action tonight, and my man agrees: damn fine advice. So, it's unanimous. :D

And Melin--you got more of an education than I did! When I was in 3rd grade, I discovered that showing off my middle finger got a reaction, but no one would tell me why. So, I was flipping everyone off until my teacher called my Mom about it.

In order to explain, she had to tell me, in what had to be the world's fastest sex talk, how babies are made: "A boy puts his penis in you." I had the universal 8yro reaction: "Ewww!" ...And that's all anyone from my family ever told me about "it." Let's hear it for sex education in the public schools!

And on the Straight Dope! :D

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"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."

Louie, is oral sex really third base? I think we need to add more bases.

Wanting to please my Lady, I watched lesbian porn thinking that a wonan would know best how to please another woman.Prehaps viewing gay porn would do for you as lisbo did for me! good luck I wish more women were so anxious to please her man, & man their ladies I envy your man. Horray for you, rgds, Carl

I think we need to add more bases.

Okay.

Making Out : 1st Base (http://www.carnal.net/html/ck-1.html)

Oral Sex : Third Base (http://www.carnal.net/html/ck1-a.html]Sexual Touching : 2nd Base[/url]

[url="http://www.carnal.net/html/ck1-b.html) (for girls giving it to guys)

Oral Sex : Third Base ("http://www.carnal.net/html/ck1-d.html) (for guys giving it to girls) You might want to read this one as well, ladies.

Sexual Intercourse : Home Base ;) ("http://www.carnal.net/html/qa-h.html) (great tips for guys and girls to have better and long lasting sex)

Hope everyone's happy now. :)

I think we need to add more bases.

Okay.

Making Out : 1st Base (http://www.carnal.net/html/ck-1.html)

Sexual Touching : 2nd Base (http://www.carnal.net/html/ck1-a.html)

Oral Sex : Third Base (http://www.carnal.net/html/ck1-b.html) (for girls giving it to guys)

Oral Sex : Third Base (http://www.carnal.net/html/ck1-d.html) (for guys giving it to girls) You might want to read this one as well, ladies.

Sexual Intercourse : Home Base ;) (http://www.carnal.net/html/qa-h.html) (great tips for guys and girls to have better and long lasting sex)

Hope everyone's happy now. :)

Well Carl, it is true that only a woman can give another woman the best blowjob and the same with guys. Guys give guys the best blow.
This is kinda published stuff, not from personal experience..

But I don't agree with you on watching porn because porn has no emotional content and it has another goal, which is unsuitable for personal relationships.

Come off it, Laura. Nobody's dick is THAT big and nobody's mouth is THAT small.

<<Come off it, Laura. Nobody's dick is THAT big and nobody's mouth is THAT small. >>

[Homer Simpson voice]
Mmmm ... trolling.

Diane said:
For the truly brave, you can actually put a finger carefully (use spit on your finger) into his bum and massage his prostate. It is the quarter-size hard area about 1 to 2 inches inside his anus.
Make sure your fingernails are trimmed first.

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"I wept because I had no shoes, then I met a man with no feet. So I took his shoes" - Dave Barry

For a mature, informative, comprehensive discussion of the topic, I'd like to direct anyone interested to:

http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/fellatio.html
or
http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/cunnfaq.html
depending on who the lucky one is.

In fact, a browse of sexuality.org should answer most of the sex questions that eventually end up here.

-Quadell

You should also pay attention to an area that usually gets missed but an area that makes guys wild.

Note that this is not a universal pleaser. A GF tried doing this to me once, and my reaction was something like: "Um, just what do you think you're doing?"

She said she'd heard that "guys like that", but until seeing this thread, I thought she was just confused.

Note that this is not a universal pleaser. A GF tried doing this to me once, and my reaction was something like: "Um, just what do you think you're doing?"

She said she'd heard that "guys like that", but until seeing this thread, I thought she was just confused.

If done right. . . . ;)


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&gt;^,,^&lt;
KITTEN

He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok. - Confucius

2. Porn's goal is to make us horny, yes, but it can also be a good "teacher" of sex techniques, which is EXACTLY what Laura was asking for.

Porn is probably a good teacher of sex positions and oral sex on men, but remember that porn is generally made for men. I've never seen a porno in which a man (or a woman, for that matter) was doing anything to a woman that I'd want to have done to me. Their cunnilingus techniques are absolutely awful, for one thing. Most of that and the manual stimulation of women looks nothing short of painful! So while porno is a good teacher for women, I can actually tell the difference between a man who has learned most of his sexual technique from porno as opposed to men who learned by actually (gasp!) ASKING the women what they want.

Mmm...Laura.

For you gals with small mouths: the hand-job/blow-job combination works wonders. And yes, swallowing is a nice finish...but if you just can't, please be discrete and just sort of let it go where it will. Now, a question for the ladies: when I am stimulating the female genitalia (orally or manually) there is initially an erectile response of the clitoris, followed by a softening (and often seeming disappearance!)
of the delightful little organ. My question is this: do you prefer continued stimulation of the clitoris(if I can find it) or is it time to move on to other things? I've gotten mixed reactions. Help me out, here; I aim to please.


The difference between:
1. Love
2. True Love
3. Showing Off

1. Spitting
2. Swallowing
3. Gargling

As a friend of mine used to say:

"You wouldn't rake your teeth over the Magna Carta, would you?"

Handy said:I don't agree with you on watching porn because porn has no emotional content and it has another goal, which is unsuitable for personal relationships.

1. Aren't you the same person who offered to "come over and show ya how to do it? ;)
2. Porn's goal is to make us horny, yes, but it can also be a good "teacher" of sex techniques, which is EXACTLY what Laura was asking for.
3. What's wrong about getting horny with the person I love? Is it "unsuitable" for our personal relationship?

These are the best pieces of advice I've seen in a long time! Keep it up! (no pun intended ;) )

Actually, a little bit of gentle biting is kinda cool. Key word here is GENTLE.


There once was a fellow from Tripoli
Who liked to make love rather nippily.
Complained one young lass
(While rubbing her ass):
"Less teethily, please, and more lippily!"

I think one of the best techniques is learning how to get your partner to receive unconditional head. That goes for learning how to do receive it yourself. Some have a hard time lying back and being selfish.

My partner likes to sit on my face--that's meant to be only half funny. The technique is that while I hold fairly still, my tongue is rather the energizer bunny. She, with her hands on the head board or wall, will move around as she wishes, shifting this way and that way, up and down to control the contact. You can learn quite a bit by how she moves.

You aren't necessarily incompetent if you don't fellate to orgasm, either. There is nothing wrong with fellation as a warm-up.

Some guys like to get very aggressive with the thrusts when near climax, and simply feel inhabited when in such close proximity to such a delicate face. This may not be a complaint about your technique but rather a sign that he does not want to hurt you.

My question is this: do you prefer continued stimulation of the clitoris(if I can find it) or is it time to move on to other things? I've gotten mixed reactions. Help me out, here; I aim to please.

This depends entirely on the woman. Some women can't take direct stimulation of it, some love it.

I guess it's my turn to share! ;D First, is she still aroused? I find sometimes a man may forget a woman, well, isn't a man. We don't turn on immediately--we love suspense. Just playing with the clit for a few minutes may bore her if she wasn't ready. If it's not erect, she may have lost a little interest.

Then, there's also the possibility she already reached orgasm, and is in a physical refractory period (blissfully short for women!). Some women can still be touched during this period, others may not. Basically, ask her...it may not seem the most romantic thing, but she'll appreciate it!

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"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."

. If it's not erect, she may have lost a little interest.

No.

You may not realize that, for most women, the clitoris shrinks and flattens right before orgasm.



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&gt;^,,^&lt;
KITTEN

He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok. - Confucius

[hypergirl]

OK, here is my wisdom on this subject. A friend of mine gave me 3 rules to always follow. Not to mention a lesson on a banana.

1. Never EVER use teeth.
2. Swallow. If it's already in your mouth, why bother geting rid of it?
3. Don't do the same thing for too long otherwise you will both get bored.

There is some disagreement on the third one though, someone else told me that if something is working to kepp doing it and dont do something else. Well, I'll never know who was right. I guess it varies from person to person.

[SqrlCub]

Just my 3 cents. I find it easier to give blowjobs if the person is very large in the 69 position. I like to think I can do it pretty well in almost any regular position though.

HUGS!
Sqrl

[Kiki]

The underside of the head of the penis is a very sensitive spot. Swirl your tongue in circles around the head and occasionally stop and flicker you tongue over the skin of the underside of the penis. Very effective! :) While doing this you can do what Diane suggested with "the spot" but I don't use my knuckle. I just use my thumb to massage that area.

As for swallowing... it doesn't matter. As long as you finish the job most guys don't care either way. They prefer that you swallow but you don't have to.

Question: just how much semen does a man expell during orgasam? I've heard it's about 1/2 cup but don't know if that's very acurate. Seems like an awful lot to me.

[Chef Troy]

Not nearly a half cup! it's more like a tablespoon or two on average. Cecil addressed this tangentially in his article How many calories in the average male ejaculation? (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_054.html) In that answer, he remarks that in terms of volume you're looking at about five cubic centimeters.

It just seems like more because the guy is holding your head down. ;)

[soulsling]

the Kama Sutra.

It's where I learned all my cunnilingus techniques, and I've been told my technique is impeccable.

[Edward The Head]

sorry, just had to post as it's my 69th post!

[Mr. White]

Suzeanne said it

Some guys get off on teeth -- a very precious few of them. Teeth in such a delicate area make most men very very nervous. Save your nibbling for fingertips. Men make jokes about toothless women with flat heads (to rest a drink on, of course) for a reason.

But you forgot the part about her having big ears.....:D

[Minty Rae]

Originally posted by TennHippie
My question is this: do you prefer continued stimulation of the clitoris(if I can find it) or is it time to move on to other things? I've gotten mixed reactions. Help me out, here; I aim to please.

I can't stand direct clitoral stimulation. It isn't at all arousing, and while it isn't painful, it's close. I prefer stimulation to the hood. Constant, steady stimulation. Suddenly changing the rhythm, or stroking in a different direction, just breaks my concentration. I hate that ABC thing.

(Please tell me I didn't just say that.)

[Mr. Cynical]

And thusly, the thread was resurrected.

And there was much rejoicing, for there can never be too many oral sex discussions on the boards.

[Minty Rae]

Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus
And thusly, the thread was resurrected.

And there was much rejoicing, for there can never be too many oral sex discussions on the boards.

Damn. I didn't even notice the original post date..

[Cyn]

Remember, if y'all enjoying it, y'all doing it right.
My mouth is very small and my SO is very not small. You have to use your hands as advised, and every other advantage there is, including sound effects and visual aides. Mirrors can be your friend. Men tend to be very visual, and the sight of you doing what you're doing could be a very enjoyable thing for him. And some aural sex, the noises you generate, can make him feel very, very yummy.

[DRY]

Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus
And thusly, the thread was resurrected.

It's (ahem) hard to keep a good thread (ahem) down.

Interestingly, my alma mater just did a story on this:

http://www.dailybruin.ucla.edu/db/archivedarticles.asp?ID=4053&date=5/4/2001

From the article:

"By the way, everyone should also learn how to put on a condom with only their mouth; it's a neat trick that will impress many a man"

Presumably, "everyone" doesn't include strictly heterosexual males putting ones on themselves. Then again, this might very well impress me, though I have no intention of wanting to see it done.

Oh, and I just have to add that I never read anything remotely this interesting in the school paper in my four years and one quarter of going to said college.

Guys, what's the best thing about getting oral sex from your SO?

Ten minutes of silence.

*fleeing*