Joan Rivers, you insensitive, skanky, ignorant bag of bones and plastic

[scott evil]

Choose your fucking material (http://us.imdb.com/PeopleNews/2002/20020501.html) more wisely.

Bitch. :mad:

- s.e.

[belladonna]

Despite the controversy, Joan's spokesman insists that she, boldly, plans to continue to use the joke when she takes her show to America later this year.

Yeah, that's gonna go over real well.

[Thurgin]

I hope someone feltch's that geriatric knob gobbler with a goat.

T.

[gobear]

Yeah, she must have figured that her career wasn't crumbling fast enough, so she decided to demolish it with a controlled implosion.

[wring]

You do realize, that this is the second thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=112830) about it, don't you?

[scott evil]

Originally posted by gobear
Yeah, she must have figured that her career wasn't crumbling fast enough, so she decided to demolish it with a controlled implosion.

And yet somehow her face is crumbling at the speed of light... :D

- s.e.

[gobear]

Hmm, maybe Elizabeth Taylor could get standup comedy mileage out of Joan Rivers' looks!

There was time back in the late 70s when Joan rivers was actually funny. but now she's just a wizened, bitter, old yenta reduced to doing cheesy "fashion interviews" on basic cablewith a untalented offspring that she was probably thrown as an act of charity.

There used to be a place for washed-up mediocrities; it was called The Love Boat.

[BoBettie]

Reminds me of the "hilarious" stand up routine I saw by Louis Anderson years ago. Basically a "fuck the homeless" deal. You could have heard a freaking pin drop in the theater he was in. What an asshat.

I guess you can joke about a lot of things, but sometimes it's just too soon, and to imply that a widow would rather have money then a spouse back is fucking evil, especially since the bodies have not all even been recovered.

What the hell was she thinking?

Zette

[scott evil]

Originally posted by Zette

What the hell was she thinking?

Sam Kinison was on SNL or some standup show in 86 and said something to the effect of "Chernobyl? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Suckers."

I was only 14 at the time, but I knew that that was pretty offensive.

- s.e.

[jk1245]

Hopefully someone will make a hilarious joke about her husband offing himself rather than suffering another minute with her, 'cuz that's just about as funny, isn't it you talentless, candiru felching shrew.


Of course, I would never be so indecent. :o

[dwyr]

She's going to be in Louisville Tuesday night.

Too bad I have to work. Not.

[Nacho4Sara]

Yuck. She is a vile hag. I love watching awards pre-shows - if you look closely, you can see the celebrities try to avoid her.

You know, people keep saying she used to be funny, but that is so hard to believe. People used to laugh at Carrot-top, though, so anything's possible.

[Cervaise]

There used to be a place for washed-up mediocrities; it was called The Love Boat.Now it's called "Celebrity Boxing." Of course, if you hit Joan Rivers hard enough, your fist would sink into her head like it was Play-Doh.

[Guinastasia]

She used to joke about her husband killing himself because her shopping bills were too high.

Personally, I think he did it to get away from her.

[PunditLisa]

Actually, I did hear a funny joke about homeless people. Does that make me insensitive and skanky?

It was from a guy on the Bob and Tom show, a syndicated morning show: "You know what's great about dating homeless women? When you're done with the date you don't have to drive a half an hour to drive her home. You just pull over any old place, kiss her good night and let her out. "Well, good night!"

Of course, if you're a gentleman, you open the door for her."

Okay, maybe you had to be there.

I agree though that 9/11 jokes are usually not funny. I've heard a few that are borderline but they poke fun at Osama and he's fair game, I suppose.

[Bad News Baboon]

ever notice how much she looks like a baboon?

really.

she frightens me!

[Jack Batty]

I didn't click the link in the OP -- I didn't read any other posts in this thread -- I just hate Joan Rivers with a burning passion.

Fuck her.

With a moose antler.

[BoBettie]

Actually, I did hear a funny joke about homeless people. Does that make me insensitive and skanky?


Nah- you were already insensitive and skanky. What? This is the Pit! Just funnin' ya. I guess you had to hear the skit- it was really freaking vile. I liked your joke- it was funny.

Zette

[Spavined Gelding]

Regarding Ms. Rivers, vile and unpleasant person that she is, has anyone else noticed the number of people on the tube who seem to have eyebrows half way up their forehead? Its sort of a double eyebrow effect, the top of the eye socket is one place and the actual hair is someplace else. :eek: Like that.

[Jack Batty]

In Joan River's case, it's because her skin is stretched back so tightly, her eyebrow's have migrated up there.

She probably has a lump of loose skin balled up on the back of her head. If it ever snaps loose, it'll probably spell curtains for Home Shopping Network host or two.

[BoBettie]

regarding the odd eyebrow phenomenon, it may be the result of shaving off her eyebrows and penciling them in. I read about this practice in Platinum Girl (by our Eve) when Jean Harlow started doing it. It gives such an odd, unnatural look, but many hollywood people do it, apparently.

Zette

[LindyHopper]

You forgot pus.

;)

[scott evil]

Originally posted by Jack Batty
In Joan River's case, it's because her skin is stretched back so tightly, her eyebrow's have migrated up there.

"One more face-lift and she'll have a beard." - Patsy Stone

Probably a grey one.

- s.e.

[Linear Crack]

Originally posted by LindyHopper
You forgot pus.

;)

You forgot a "s".

:D

[scott evil]

Originally posted by Linear Crack
You forgot a "s".

Last time I checked, there was only one 's' in pus. :D

- s.e.

[Tuckerfan]

I, personally, would pay to fly widows and orphans of 9/11 to see Joan Rivers perform. I imagine that before she even made it to the "punch-line" of that joke, there'd be a dozen or more of them up there, ripping her throat out. I can't think of a more appropriate way for her to die.

Women like her give the word "bitch" a bad name.

[masonite]

OSH! Grow UP!





:: d&r ::

[3waygeek]

Originally posted by Cervaise
Now it's called "Celebrity Boxing." Of course, if you hit Joan Rivers hard enough, your fist would sink into her head like it was Play-Doh.
It'd probably look something like this (http://www.mtv.com/onair/deathmatch/archive.jhtml?eid=47160).

[LindyHopper]

Originally posted by scott evil
Last time I checked, there was only one 's' in pus. :DIndeed. :)

[RickJay]

Originally posted by Guinastasia
She used to joke about her husband killing himself because her shopping bills were too high.

Personally, I think he did it to get away from her.


Wasn't that a Winston Churchill zinger?

LADY ASTOR: Sir, if I were your wife, I'd put poison in your wine.

CHURCHILL: If I was your husband, I'd drink it.

I think Mr. Rivers saw the brutal logic of the situation. I am sure he was a penthouse in Heaven for putting up with that hag as long as he did.