intimidated by beauty

[TN*hippie]

Okay, gang, I'm asking for help.

The other day I was on the bus and sitting across from me was a gorgeous lady. The prettiest woman I've seen in a long, long time.

I smiled at her. She smiled back. I go brain dead.

I wanted to say something to her. But I knew that if I opened my mouth, the only thing that I would blubber out was:
"You're the prettiest woman I've seen in a long, long time."

So I said nothing.

We went our separate ways.

Now, I'm no Brad Pitt. But I'm not the Elephant Man, either.
Why do I freeze up like that?

And do you have any suggestions?

Both male and female responses, please.


__________
Lonely,
TN*hippie

[HerMajestyLorna]

Just stare (especially at the boobies) and drool. Women looooooove that.

[Batsinma Belfry]

"You're the prettiest woman I've seen in a long, long time."



What's wrong with saying that? It's sweet and honest.

[BoBettie]

Eh, I think the "in a long, long time" is a little creepy (IMHO), especially on the bus where the person saying it might follow you off at your stop. (That's how my brain works anyway)

I don't know what advice to give you- I smile at people all the time, and they rarely strike up conversation. (Maybe I'm ugly as a hatful of assholes, though). A nice ice breaker might be "How 'bout this weather? Hot/cold enough for ya'?" or "I'm not trying to pick you up or anything, but I wanted you to know that you have a beautiful smile. It really made my day" (Someone said that to me once- a bell ringer for the Salvation Army. It gave me the warm fuzzies)

Zette

[alice_in_wonderland]

Originally posted by hillbilly queen
What's wrong with saying that? It's sweet and honest.

Yah, but if you're crusty and deranged like me, you'll get annoyed.

Personally, I would suggest "Hi there."

Really - you can gauge her response - if she gives you a big smile and says hi there back then strike up a conversation. If not, well, you haven't really wasted anything.

Come on - you can do it - you certainly don't strike ME as the shy type. ;)

[shrew]

I think you're a hottie, TN*Hippie, and I've never met you, so letting her see your personality seems like a safe bet to me.

"Hi" is the easiest and safest route, I think. You can certainly compliment her, but be more specific than "You're the prettiest woman I've seen in a long, long time." Try something like "I like your shoes" or "You have lovely hair." A guy I don't know walked by me the other day and said, "Nice hair", and it made my day.

[Bearflag70]

Just picture her trying to pinch off a huge dump. That would bring her down to earth in my mind. She's just a person.

[white-tigeress]

i would not have run away lol. what a nice thing to say

[a35362]

If you want to get across the idea that you think she's undeniably, extraordinarily attractive, you see her, say, "...Wow.", catch yourself, look away all embarrassed and mutter, "Excuse me." Then don't make eye contact with her again. Pretend to be interested in the passing scenery, or admire your shoes. Your face should express astonishment, shyness, and misery. Leave her alone. Then it's up to her to make the next move.

[a35362]

Or...you could offer to read her some of your haiku. *snork*

[TN*hippie]

O pretty woman
You are easy on the eyes
Do you like weather?


__________
thanks All,
TN*hippie

[GuanoLad]

Don't ask me. I just have to be across the street from a woman and she'll run screaming.

[Typo Negative]

Ahem:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=109754&highlight=appearence

[SpaceDog]

Originally posted by TN*hippie
O pretty woman
You are easy on the eyes
Do you like weather?


Well I just have to say that that little gem has brightened up my day. And I'm not even a woman.

As for the whole talking-to-pretty-women thing, I can't do it either. I think this is because I'm scared that I'm going to come across as some sort of deranged stalker type.

I should really look at it from a "What's the worst that can happen" point of view unfortunatly my imagination can come up with some pretty bad worst-case scenarios.

Hell, just smile and say "Hi".

SD

( Who should probably take his own advice once in a while )

[Fern Forest]

"Where ya heading?" is also a good one or "Where ya off to?" She'll say something like home, work, shopping and boom there's your conversation with a nice neutral question. And with a little more legroom then the weather ones.

Or if you're really lucky a bus weirdo will come along and maybe yell at the bus driver, the people on the bu or the world in general. Those people are a good conversation starter.

[Jman]

Usually, it doesn't matter how pretty someone is, I can talk to them. One time, however, this absolutely incredible woman walked into the lab where I worked at college. (She was an undergrad...likely a freshman, but looked older) I answered her questions, but was completely terrified. And I had a girlfriend at the time, so I wasn't even looking to do anything. She was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life...including on screen. I sat there for about 5 minutes after she left thinking to myself "Oh...my....God." It's the only time I can remember being truly intimidated by a woman's good looks.

[Regina]

When someone stares or honks at me or tells me how great-looking I am (although this hasn't happened in a while!), I really really like it. But this doesn't mean I'm going to respond to a conversational gambit which focuses on my looks. I pretend to ignore the honk or just say "Thank you" to a comment and go about my merry way.

Now, if someone starts up a conversation based on something other than my looks, I am much more likely to respond. Gorgeous women don't need you staring at them or trying to start a conversation by telling them how gorgeous they are; they already know. And that's a dead-end conversation: "You're gorgeous." "Thank you. Goodbye." Ask her if she knows of a good coffee shop or restaurant in town. Ask her if she knows of a good park to take your dog to. Ask her if she knows anywhere that has really good bread/steak/produce. Once you start talking to her I think the intimidation factor will be reduced (unless she's a real bitch who then didn't deserve your attention in the first place).

[amarinth]

This really happens?
So all the times that someone says that must have been the case, they were not necessarily lying through their teeth?

wow.
never knew.

[lieu]

"Do you like weather?"

Let's make better use of this.
First ask if you can "tickle her ass with a feather."
If she says "yes", then you're in.
If she looks at you shocked, say
"I said, isn't this particularly nasty weather?"

[cainxinth]

Originally posted by a35362
If you want to get across the idea that you think she's undeniably, extraordinarily attractive, you see her, say, "...Wow.", catch yourself, look away all embarrassed and mutter, "Excuse me." Then don't make eye contact with her again. Pretend to be interested in the passing scenery, or admire your shoes. Your face should express astonishment, shyness, and misery. Leave her alone. Then it's up to her to make the next move.

worst advice ever. be proactive, you can't sit around waiting for life to hand you the cherries.

[scout1222]

OMG! lieu, for the longest time when I read your posts, I pictured a buddy from college named Lou with a similar sense of humor as yours.

Now having read this post, I'm convinced I was wrong. You're my dad.

He's the only other person I've ever heard say the "tickle your ass with a feather" bit.

What a hoot!

[RTFirefly]

I know exactly what you mean, TN*hippie. I certainly did my share of freezing up like that during my single years, which lasted into my mid-30s.

The great difficulty, from my perspective, is where to start a conversation with a woman when you've been smitten by her looks, but have no idea what, if anything, you have in common with her.

Exactly the reverse of something like, say, an Internet message board, which I think is one reason why we've had so many romances start here.

One idea, FWIW: ask her if there's any particular sort of ethnic food she fancies. If she simply answers your question, then you've got at least a conversational foot in the door, from which one thing can lead to another:

Her: Well, I really like Salvadoran food.
You: I didn't know there were any Salvadoran restaurants in town.
Her: Well, there aren't any, but one time when I was down in Atlanta, some friends and I ate at this wonderful little Salvadoran restaurant.
You: So, were you living there at the time?
Her: No, I was visiting my best friend from college...

And you're off and running. And when there's a lull, or one of you has to get off, you can ask her out for dinner at your favorite ethnic restaurant.

OTOH, if she asks you why you want to know, you tell her that you would like to ask her out to dinner, and you were wondering what sort of food she fancied.

It may not be the most brilliant conversational gambit in the world, but Lord knows it's far from the worst.

And if you see her again, good luck - we're rooting for you. :)

[Arnold Winkelried]

I know what works in the movies - "They're watching me, and I need someplace to hide. Can I take refuge in your house for a couple of days? I know some valuable secrets that will blow the lid off government corruption, and by the time I'm done, I will have saved your life (probably more than once), I will be famous and honoured, and you will be in love with me."

Or, since she smiled back at you (a good sign) try the "You have a beautiful smile" approach that someone else suggested. If she's reading a book, try "What's that book you're reading?"
Of course, what do I know, I've never picked up a stranger in my life.

[Scylla]

The best thing you can do is pretend to be a character from one of your favorite books of movies. If she gets it, you come off as clever and you automatically have something to talk about. If she doesn't, than you can console yourself that you had nothing in common so the thing was doomed anyway. Just don't pick a character that everybody knows.

For example:

Put on your best Spanish accent (think Antonio Banderas,) and say

"Eddscooze me. Joo you happen to ave seex fingers on your hand?"

She'll look at you curiously. If she actually checks her hands and counts her fingers you know you're not dealing with a brain surgeon.

She'll probably answer in the negative and be curious or intigued as to why you asked.

"I am lookeeng for a pairson weeth seex fingers one one hand. That pairson keeled my fadder when I was but a boy. When I find 'eem, I will say "Ello! My name is Indigo Montoya. You keeled my fadder. Prepare to die!"


If she's seen the movie you're in. If you get rejected, it wasn't your fault that she has not cultural taste, is it?

Either way you're safe.


(I've never tried this. I just thought of it now.)

[RTFirefly]

Scylla, I think Mandy Patinkin played that role.

[Scylla]

I know, but I can't do a Mandy Patinkin Spanish accent, only and a Banderas.

Antonio is sexier than Mandy, so I was thinking to go for Antonio as Indigo.

[Tapioca Dextrin]

Well, hopefully not too........

I was in the same situation with a very great looking (and 5'11") lady. My solution........
Shaved legs.
Next time we met, she couldn't take her hands off me. 'Nuff said. Pity I was skippping the country three days later. Try it (shaving, not emigrating).

[alice_in_wonderland]

Originally posted by Scylla
Antonio is sexier than Mandy, so I was thinking to go for Antonio as Indigo.

Actually, Mandy Patinkin is pretty damn sexy...