OK, that's it: penis poll

[scott evil]

After the analingus poll, the testicle poll, and the boobie poll, I demand equal time for the guys. It's the penis poll. Whip it out, guys.

1. How long is it flaccid?

2. How long is it hard?

3. Does it bend when hard? If so, in what direction?

4. Cut or uncut?

5. Pubes: shaved, trimmed, or natural?

After five answers, I'll come through with my own stats. ;p

- s.e.

[Darwin's Finch]

1) Most of the time.
2) Depends on the duration of the stimulus.
3) I guess so. North.
4) I don't currently have any cuts.
5) Since the only time I've ever even seen my pubes (and my illia and ischia, for that matter) is in an x-ray, I'd have to say natural.

[BlackKnight]

*whips it out for scott evil*

(Don't say I never did anything for you. :D )

1) Depends on temperature, my general state of health, etc. Usually around 3 inches flaccid.

2) Between 6 and 6.5 inches.

3) Bends distinctly to the right (my right, not your right)

4) uncut

5) shaved, with the hair on my lower abdomen trimmed into an arrow pointing down

There - 5 answers. Now give your own stats. ;)

[scott evil]

Originally posted by Darwin's Finch
1) Most of the time.
2) Depends on the duration of the stimulus.
3) I guess so. North.
4) I don't currently have any cuts.
5) Since the only time I've ever even seen my pubes (and my illia and ischia, for that matter) is in an x-ray, I'd have to say natural.

Oh, that was lame. :p

- s.e.

[scott evil]

Originally posted by BlackKnight
*whips it out for scott evil*

Why, thanks.

There - 5 answers. Now give your own stats. ;)

Five legitimate answers from five posters. I might up the stakes.

- s.e.

[scott evil]

Originally posted by BlackKnight
*whips it out for scott evil*

Why, thanks.

There - 5 answers. Now give your own stats. ;)

Five legitimate answers from five posters. I might up the stakes.

- s.e.

[madonnaman]

What a great idea, scott evil! I'd love to share my member with y'all... :D

1. varies, 4" right now
2. 6"
3. no
4. cut
5. trimmed

[Mudshark]

1. How long is it flaccid?
4 inches.

2. How long is it hard?
7 1/2 inches

3. Does it bend when hard? If so, in what direction?
It curves slightly to the left when hard

4. Cut or uncut?
Cut

5. Pubes: shaved, trimmed, or natural?
Most of the time natural, but sometimes I trim them if I get bored.

[pravnik]

1. Varies wildly. Right now in warm weather about 4". Sometimes after sex a good bit more. Sometimes much, much less. Shinkage is not a myth.

2. 6.5". Yes, I (my ex, actually) measured once.

3. Veers slightly to the left. I'm right handed.

4. Cut. Used to be pierced, too, but it grew out.

5. au natural, pal

[Dirty Earthworm]

Originally posted by pravnik
4. Cut. Used to be pierced, too, but it grew out.:eek: NOOOOO!!! Never! OW OW OW OW OW!!

Anyway ...

1) WAG would be 3-4"
2) Never gotten any complaints ;)
3) Not that I'm aware of
4) <snip>
5) Shaved a few times for a girl I used to date who did the same thing, now I don't.

Why oh why do I answer these questions??

-Dirty

[Caught@Work]

Mr. Party Tools' Statistics.

1. 50-75cm
2. Around 15-18cm according to the measurement of my hand.
3. I dress to the left, but doesn't translate when it's Mr. Party Time.
4. Uncut.
5. Natural.

[Caught@Work]

Originally posted by Caught@Work
Mr. Party Tools' Statistics.

1. 50-75cm
2. Around 15-18cm according to the measurement of my hand.
3. I dress to the left, but doesn't translate when it's Mr. Party Time.
4. Uncut.
5. Natural.

Woah there nelly.

Amend 1. to 5-7.5 centimeters or 50-75 millimeters.

[betenoir]

Originally posted by scott evil
After the analingus poll, the testicle poll, and the boobie poll, I demand equal time for the guys. It's the penis poll. Whip it out, guys.




What? Equal time?? Analingus is a bi-partisan sport, the testicle poll is about, well, testicles and the boobie poll is "how do you like them?" not "what are your's like?" Seems to me it's the chicks who should be demanding equal time.

I should start a cunt poll, but I'm really not sure what to ask...

[Dr. Lao]

1) 3 to 4'' It varies, of course. As others said, that is how it works.
2) 6 3/4''
3) Looks pretty straight to me
4) cut
5) trimmed up above, shaved below.

I guess the real question is, does any of it matter? (there, I absolved myself of any narcissism by questioning the whole idea of the thread. Then again, I did rattle off those measurements fairly quickly. Hmm...)

[Cyn]

Cyn, lying in wait for scott evil's.......um.....stats.

Betenoir, I have one! A cunt, I mean.....since you're polling.

[galen ubal]

[list=1]
About 3"
7"
No listing to either side, slight curve (like a banana, but not so extreme)
cut
natural flowing locks
[/list=1]

[Tuckerfan]

1.) Dunno (never thought to measure it that way, most women don't care about size when its soft)

2.) 7.5-7.75 depending upon arousal state (if she's good, I'm bigger)

3.) Gentle curve to the left like a banana

4.) Snipped and damn glad to be so (screw you JDT!)

5.) I'm proud to say that I'm a card-carrying member of the Unshorn Brothers of the Apocalypse.

[iampunha]

You may all thank scott evil for what I am about to reveal:)I've hinted at this stuff for nearly two years...

1. 2.5 or so.
2. 7-ish (No, I haven't measured in a while. 18 months or so, probably)
3. Tilts to the left. Definite tilt.
4. Cut.
5. Trimmed it a few days ago because I was bored.

[MachV]

Let me reel it in & I'll get right back to you...

[scott evil]

Fine.

1. 3.5" o so
2. 7.5"
3. Slightly to the left.
4. Cut.
5. Natural, though I trim my nuts from time to time.

Happy? ;)

- s.e.

[DAVEW0071]

1. about 3 - 4"
2. about 7.5"
3. yes, downward
4. cut
5. shaved

[Kwyjibo]

1. How long is it flaccid?
Depends. 3 inches on average

2. How long is it hard?
7 inches

3. Does it bend when hard? If so, in what direction?
Nope...like an arrow

4. Cut or uncut?
Uncut

5. Pubes: shaved, trimmed, or natural?
Shaved.

[lno]

I wonder how many are posting measurements along the bottom. Yeah, I have a huge schlong too, if I measure from my asshole.

ALONG THE TOP, GUYS. The curve don't count none neither. Pull a tape measure taut and that's whatcha got.

And then add a couple more inches so you fit in with what people have posted so far.

[roadrunner70]

1. 27 inches
2. 36 inches
3. Hi Opal
4. Cut
5. Trimmed.

*note* All measurements made from the floor up.

[Feynn]

Not only are the people who frequent the SDMB some of the most intelligent people on the planet but it would seem that the men are also better endowed then your average male.

Unless of course, one is Scottish.

:)

[Kwyjibo]

*ah hem*

Born in Dundee, Scotland pal. ;)

[Big Sam]

1. 3-4 soft
2. 6.5-7 hard
3. curved to the left
4. cut
5. bare balls, trimmed patch up top

[Fiver]

Size matters, but it's about the girth, not the length.

[MeanJoe]

Ahem...

1.) 2-3 soft, sometimes smaller and sometimes bigger
2.) 6 hard (damn Irish genes)
3.) very straight and smooth, no curves or leanings when hard
4.) cut and pierced (Prince Albert, 8 gauge)
5.) smooth as a baby's bottom below, neatly cropped above

<hijack>

Perhaps another poll thread should start on this but I've always wondered...

If penis enlargement (length and/or girth) was as readily available to men as breast enlargement is to women, what percent of men would do it? My theory is that it would be a larger percentage of men vs. women and breast enlargement today. Discuss...

</hijack>

MeanJoe

P.S. - I would do it in a heartbeat, enlargement that is. Nothing grotesquely larger, just an inche or two... or three... :D

[Wolfian]

1. varies with temperature. Max. around 3 (maybe I've never actually measured it at that state)
2. varies. Max. around 6.25 (I've never measured while very stimulated. I would be kinda awkward to say "Honey, while your down there could you pass me a ruler."). Max. measured 6.
3. slightly upwards
4. cut
5. trimmed right now. in a couple days bare.

[Surreal]

1. 3"-4", depending on the weather, etc.

2. 7" (was 7 1/2" at age 18- What happened?).

3. 20 degrees to the *left* when erect.

4. Cut.

5. Trimmed. Plus I have to shave the base of my penis because the hair grows up the bottom 3" of the shaft.

[Medea's Child]

Yes.

[Mullinator]

Really not sure why I am posting here, but let's be bold

1. 4
2. 9
3. Pretty straight
4. Cut
5. Natural

[wolfman]

I've never actually measured it before, but this thread made me curious enough to try but I ran into a little problem.

TMI Warning!

Being a really fat guy I am unsure of where to start measuring. There is enough padding at the base to seriously effect the number. If I really smush it( the fat) back and start against the bone it is about a 2.5 inch difference then the unmodified apparent start. What is proper measuring procedure?

[Surreal]

The correct way to measure your penis is from the TOP, not the sides or the base. Use a ruler, and I would recommend that you 'push in' on the ruler as hard as you can. I'm sure this is how everyone else must be measuring it.

[handy]

Should we measure it diagonally like a tv?

[pravnik]

Originally posted by Feynn
Not only are the people who frequent the SDMB some of the most intelligent people on the planet but it would seem that the men are also better endowed then your average male.

Unless of course, one is Scottish.

:)

If you had a 4 inch pecker, would you post it? ;)

Oh, and I measured from the top. The trouble is, it's only about 1/2" in circumference.

[Purd Werfect]

1 - Completely average.
2 - Completely average.
3 - Straight ahead pretty much.
4 - De-foreskinated.
5 - Pleasantly disheveled.

[Tuckerfan]

This might give some encouragement to some of our over-weight male Dopers, but according to an article I read in Prevention magazine some years back, for every 35 pounds you lose, you gain an inch in pecker length.

[heresiarch]

Originally posted by Surreal
The correct way to measure your penis is from the TOP, not the sides or the base. Use a ruler, and I would recommend that you 'push in' on the ruler as hard as you can. I'm sure this is how everyone else must be measuring it.

Can anyone give me advice on treating a ruler-shaped puncture wound to my pubic region? I was trying to get an extra inch and well... :eek:

1) 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 inches
2) 6 3/4 inches
3) bends up just a little
4) cut
5) natural

[DeathLlama]

1. 4ish in
2. 8ish in (wait, what was it...width or length?)
3. Does it bend when hard? Only if we're not careful during vigorous sex.
4. Have you ever seen anyone try to circumsize a llama?
5. Um...no opposable thumbs...can't hold scissors

[Ooner]

Well, I'll be brave enough to be one of the few average (and honest) respondents.

1. Varies wildly between maybe 2 and 4 inches
2. Without stabbing myself in the lower abdomen with a ruler, about 5 3/4" or 6"
3. Slightly upward when hard
4. Cut
5. Shaved below, trimmed above

I assume it's perfectly understandable to let jealousy make me angry and hostile towards my fellow dopers, right? You big-dicked bastards.

[Lockfist]

I'll decline to answer but will post only to ask if I'm the only one who notices that the measurements seem to be getting larger as the thread progresses...

[ejrn]

[hijack rant]

Hey! You left out the most important measurement.

GIRTH. The women want to know the circumference. This is often the most important stat to a woman. Trust me on this one. I'd prefer a thick, 4 inch long penis to a 10 inch needle dick.

[/hijack rant]

Carry on.

[Typo Negative]

Originally posted by scott evil
1. How long is it flaccid?

2. How long is it hard?

3. Does it bend when hard? If so, in what direction?

4. Cut or uncut?

5. Pubes: shaved, trimmed, or natural?

- s.e.
1) An inch.
2) Two inches.
3) It bends down.
4) Cut.
5) Neatly trimmed.

[Phlip]

1. Dunno. Never measured it soft.
2. 6.5-7" Hard
3. I hope I understand what everyone is asking here, because my cock points almost straight at the ceiling when I am standing soilid. I have to bend over till I almost piss on my face in the morning to take a leak.
4. Cut
5. Shaved once, not again. Not very hairy to begin with.

Girth. I wrapped a measuring tape around it at max jerking time and it was at 5 3/4" around. Is that avg? I don't even know.

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

Originally posted by lno
I wonder how many are posting measurements along the bottom. Yeah, I have a huge schlong too, if I measure from my asshole.



I don't know about the size of your dick, but I know you have a huge set o' balls. I mean, flame juggling?

[Nenya_Elizabeth]

It's twice as long or more for statistic #2???

:eek: I'm terribly uninformed on these things!! :o

[Zebra]

1 what is this 'flaccid' state, mine never is..
(ok it changes so much due to temp and such that it is pointless)

2 Honestly 9 inches

3slight arch to the left

4 cut

5 natural

[FriendRob]

Originally posted by Caught@Work
Mr. Party Tools' Statistics.

1. 50-75cm
2. Around 15-18cm according to the measurement of my hand.
3. I dress to the left, but doesn't translate when it's Mr. Party Time.
4. Uncut.
5. Natural.

Caught@Work: I can only hope you weren't.

[Dr. Lao]

Originally posted by Nenya_Elizabeth
It's twice as long or more for statistic #2???Generally, yes. A penis will double in size from flaccid to erect.

[jaytini2]

i am seriously going to go home and do all of the measurements...it's one of those thigs that i always want to do but forget how...

and why can no one believe anyone has a big dick...and when some of those comments were made, i didn't think anything had been said that was outlandish...actually everyone seemed to be pretty average...

maybe i just notice penis size and stuff cause i am gay, and have more encounters with my own and others at the same time

anyway, may answers will be ready later tonight

[LindyHopper]

OK, you talked me into it...

1. About 3" (although, as many others have said, this varies wildly depending on temperature)
2. About 5 1/2"
3. Straight as an arrow
4. Cut
5. Unshorn

[sturmhauke]

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again.

[Washte]

:D Time to do a bit of braggin'.... I'm a lucky girl...OOOh wee OOH... Da hubby wouldn't dare do this on his own, so I have done the scientific bits.... the measuring :)

1) 4" at the moment
2) 9" normally, but on a really hot night 9 1/2 - 9 3/4 and a smidge over 6" in circumference (2 1/2" diameter)
3) He points upwards ever so slightly
4) Au Naturale babee!
5) lovely little nest of fuzz :)

And people wonder my eyes twinkle?? :D

[shelbo]

[bachelor party]
"Is that a foot long?"
"And then some."
[/bachelor party]

[Ruffian]

1. 4ish in
2. 8ish in (wait, what was it...width or length?)
3. Does it bend when hard? Only if we're not careful during vigorous sex.
4. Have you ever seen anyone try to circumsize a llama?
5. Um...no opposable thumbs...can't hold scissors
I'd just like to vouch for the Llama. Although he kinda turned it into llamahumor, the statistics are accurate. And modest--he rounded down.

I don't get it. He's a GUY! Shouldn't he be prancing around bragging or something? Heck, a friend joked that if he were hung like that, he'd have portraits all over his house for people to see. I asked him to post to the thread, or I would, because it's neat and stuff. So he humored me. But I just had to keep the record straight. :)

And yes, I've personally measured it--from the top, as described here. Also, for what it's worth, he's cut.

[bdgr]

There one poster on this board I know for sure is 12 inches...(well, I havent measured, but I know a several females that have verified it)...We give him so much shit about it he probably won't post here.

[64Firebird]

Originally posted by bdgr
There one poster on this board I know for sure is 12 inches...(well, I havent measured, but I know a several females that have verified it)...We give him so much shit about it he probably won't post here.

Your right, he won't.

[MatthewTheRaven]

Originally posted by MeanJoe
[B]Ahem...

1.) 2-3 soft, sometimes smaller and sometimes bigger
2.) 6 hard (damn Irish genes)
3.) very straight and smooth, no curves or leanings when hard
4.) cut and pierced (Prince Albert, 8 gauge)
5.) smooth as a baby's bottom below, neatly cropped above


for 1 and 2, my measurements are the same. and I'm Irish too. So I guess I'll blame it on that.
Actually, my answer for 3 would also be the same.
I'm cut but not pierced. yipes.
5. it itched like hell, so i stopped shaving - and since my gf is 8 hours away, i don't really have a reason to shave anyways.

Oh yeah, and girth: 5.2" circumference.

[Cosmopolitan]

(agreement with ernj hijack)

Hmm. Men are (in general) unneccessarily insecure about penis length. All my female friends have said that anything over, say, 7 in. might startle them a bit.

I could deal just fine with anything 8" & under, but that's another thread. :D

Anyway, yeah. Don't worry about not being lengthy enough; chances are, you're fine. Being run through with a 10" penis probably isn't the fantasy of most women.

Girth, however....Well, just listen to ernj in regard to that subject. :)

(/agreement with ernj hijack)

[MatthewTheRaven]

Okay, I know, I know, it's not supposed to matter, - even my gf tells me to stop worrying and that mine is "perfect" - but it's size queens and pornos that keep making me feel inadequate.
Here's a snippet of a convo I was present for:
"I was with this one boy who was only six and a half inches, and I had to try hard not to laugh."

Grrrr. I didn't say anything at the time, but it was like a little punch in the stomach - didn't help that it was someone I found attractive. [though since i'm taken, i wouldn't actually do anything with her.]

anyway, about the "oh boy!"...
well, my gf had supplied the measurements, but she hadn't pushed back the fat resided in the pubic area - when I did my own measurements and did push it back, I gained an extra half inch.
so i'm apparently 6.5" long and 5.2" circumference.
whee!
oddly enough, i'm not really all that fat elsewhere, why does it seem to gather there i wonder?

[Sue Duhnym]

Originally posted by lno
I wonder how many are posting measurements along the bottom. Yeah, I have a huge schlong too, if I measure from my asshole.


Bahahaha! That's sig material.

Screw all this length and girth stuff, I want the volume. In cubic centemeters. Hop to it boys, I'm trying to change the world!

[Michael Ellis]

1) Several inches
2) Larger than #1
3) If it bent while it was hard, I'd be doubled over in pain
4) Cut, very nicely too. I don't need no stinkin' Tug-Ahoy!
5) Fargo

[Simetra]

Originally posted by Sue Duhnym
Screw all this length and girth stuff, I want the volume. In cubic centemeters. Hop to it boys, I'm trying to change the world!

If I did my math correctly, and I think I did, then my little civilization-maker is approximately 70.787cc.

Happy?

;)

[Opengrave]

Originally posted by shelbo
[bachelor party]
"Is that a foot long?"
"And then some."
[/bachelor party] [Animal House]
"She won't take me seriously"
(flopping giant dildo on the counter)
"She'll take this seriously"
[/Animal House]

[jayjay]

Goodness, what I force myself to do on this board...

1. around 1 inch (it looks like a button on a fur coat most of the time).

2. around 7 inches (I'm a grower, not a show-er)

3. Bends very slightly upward

4. JDT's best friend

5. I may shave my head, but I don't shave things I can't see...

If the 35 lbs=1 inch rule is accurate, when I lose the weight I want to lose, it'll be about 14" long.

I believe my shy penis was mentioned in the old "telescopic penis" thread...but I'm too lazy to look for it. :D

jayjay

[iampunha]

"If the 35 lbs=1 inch rule is accurate, when I lose the weight I want to lose, it'll be about 14" long."

Dude, you could cut it in half and go diphallic and you'd still be longer than some folks in here...

This moment of incredibly painful "humor" is brought to you by scissors and the letters C, R A Z and Y.

[grettle]

mullinator, zebra, and washte uhh. . . ouch!?!!
i say this from experience with said length.

another vote for girth to be included.

and another cunt, if you are still polling :)

[Caught@Work]

Originally posted by Sue Duhnym

Screw all this length and girth stuff, I want the volume. In cubic centemeters. Hop to it boys, I'm trying to change the world!
IIRC volume is Pi R squared x length.
R = 2 cm.
Pi (for this argument) is 3.14
Length is 15cm

So, that would be 3.14 x 4 x 15 which is 188 cubic centimeters.

Does that sound right ??

[The Tof]

Oh, what the hell. You'll all get a good laugh anyway... You see, there's Howard Stern.. then theres me.

OK--

1. It's hard to say. I'll go with 1 '' flacid (It's a grower) My boy is somewhat like a shrinky dink, but the opposite. He sits there like an olive resting on his two horses until he's called to action.

2. about 5 1/2 ''. Yes, he truely does grow that much. Id on't know why or how. But believe me, its true. Its just too bad that he doesn't grow more. He's pretty fat, too, though I've never measured girth.

3. No curvature

4. Cut

5. I have shaved it all off once, but thati s the only time a razor has come close to my boys. It is currently as natural as it gets..

[Ssarl the happy Martian]

I'm 16, and...

1) Anywhere from 2cm (!!!) to 10cm (1" to 4")
2) 17cm (nearly 7")
3) Not bent
4) Cut
5) Totally natural

[mandielise]

Yes

p.s. MeanJoe, why would a guy enlarge his penis the same way women enlarge breasts??? I know they want bigger D***s, but I doubt it's worth not being able to feel it anymore!

[FunLvnCriminal]

1. Never measured but I'd guess 2-3 in.
2. 7.5 (I have gained 1.5 inches in the last 4 months from losing 65 pounds)
3. Up
4. Snip
5. Trim from time to time.

[Xavier]

The sucker when soft: 4 inches or a lil less.

The sucker when hard: just under 7 inches.

Direction of erectile flow: The only way is up. Only really bends while soft.

Status of the foreskin around the area designated "glans": Cut

Status of the hair located near the area designated as "pubic": Trimmed when length becomes unacceptable.

[baltotop]

1) Never Really measured
2) 7 inches
3) Bends up just a little
4) Cut
5) Natural


Great poll....Love it

[Kyyrewyyoae]

1) 2.5 - 3 inches
2) 5.5 - 6 inches
3) leanin' left
4) cut - my mom says she still remembers me screaming. :eek:
5) it WAS natural, but I thought i'd give it a trim, just to try it out. Not sure how much I like it. Kinda itchy. I'll probably let it grow back in.

[betenoir]

Originally posted by Xavier
The sucker when soft: 4 inches or a lil less.

The sucker when hard: just under 7 inches.




I don't have one or anything so I don't know what I'd call it but I find it kind of odd to refer to your dick as "the sucker".

Wouldn't it, ideally, be the suckee?

(Oh, and, seriously, any ideas for what to include in a cunt poll, OTHER THAN "Do you have one?" ?)

[plnnr]

1. 4
2. 7
3. Straight
4. Cut
5. Shaved below, trimmed above