It's Laugh At Phil Time!

I know a lot of people have been a' hankerin' for a reason to say, "Ha! Serves you right!" Just wanted to let you all know I broke my ankle tonight while learning how to rollerblade. It's the first broken bone I've ever had, and it hurts like a sonofabitch. So, it's vicodan and beddy-bye for me!

Nah... if someone came along and managed to successfully, thoroughly kick your ass in flame wars (which I'm sure CAN be done, just not by pretend intellectuals like myself) then I'd say "serves you right".

Next time, just start off with a pair of plain old skates, eh?

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--Christina D. Sanders--
Purveyor of Substandard Poetry
Queen of Idealism
Prisoner of Realism
Mistress of Surrealism
Hunter of new -isms
Professional Procrastinator
Suburban Savage
Jane Doe Extraordinaire

Oh jeez, Phil, sorry to hear that. It makes me shudder, remembering my one big attempt on roller blades. My niece and nephew just laughed and laughed, but the cute guy next door came over and took me by the elbow and helped me along. Still . . . .

Lousy time to have a cast, with the heat and all. Guess we'll be seein' more of you online? Get better fast!

-Melin

Nope, not funny Phil. My hubby broke his back his first time on RollerBlades. No permanent damage done, just a fractured vertabra (which, like breaking a toe, there's not really anything they can do for it). But it was, as I recall, vicodan and beddy-bye for him, too.

Feel better soon, you big argumentative pain in the ass!

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Nah i would'nt laugh. I remember the first time on my roller blades. I almost fell several times. GO slow at it, theyre not as easy to use as regular skates (for the novice at least).

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"Let me show you something
that you've never seen before
like a light im gonna shine on you
forever is a word i dont often get to say
but if you say it loud enough i'll say it too"

Gee Phil, this isn't going to make you ornery is it?

Best wishes for a quick mend!

Nah. Nothing laughable about that. You want to laugh about someone breaking a limb?

The one and only time I did so, I broke my arm.

...

Playing Win Lose or Draw.

...

Seriously! See, I had stood up on a bench to see the board, and ... well, I guess you can figure out the rest.... ::Blush::

Anyway, long story short - No 'Serves you Right' here!!!

And get well soon, man.


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'They couldn't hit an Elephant from this dist...!'

Last words of General John Sedgwick

Judgement call one of my first times on roller blades:

A) Going down the hill at a pretty high speed. I could jump into the dirt combined with large rocks or

B) I'll be at an uncontrollable speed at the bottm of this hill. I can just wipe out on the pavement.

I chose 'A.' The worst injury was a big bruise on my knee (even though I had kneepads on). I think this was the better choice.

Phil broke his ankle, somebody's husband broke his back...

You know, none of this is making me feel any better about the roller blades my brother got for my 3-year-old. (Admittedly kiddie ones, but still.)

It only reinforces my theory that he gave them to my son in order to give me a heart attack as revenge for all the years I picked on him... ;)

Phil, well, at least you can still play your bass! Good thing it wasn't your wrist, eh?
Hope your feeling better soon.

Gee Phil, this isn't going to make you ornery is it?
If Phil became ornery, how would we tell? :)

Seriously, though - best wishes for a quick recovery.

Poor Phil, hope you're feeling better soon. If it makes you feel better, a roller-blading injury is honorable -- sports related, don't you know. I bruised a ligament in my ankle a few months ago when I dropped a cutting board on it -- Now THAT was stupid!

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Jess
Full of 'satiable curtiosity

I'm new to the straight dope thing - And I already know that you are a pain in the ass, but I would never wish you ill - Hope you mend quickly -

The sad thing would have been if you had broken your fingers and could not have shared your "one of a kind" views with all of us -




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The worst thing that can possibly happen is not be used for something by someone - Kurt Vonnegut

I was just wondering--

Considering your command of four-letter words on these boards, what kind of profanities did you scream after the accident?

Get well soon, or at least get good drugs.

Sorry Phil...only my sympathies and and a note to count your blessings....I have personal experience with how these kind of accidents can turn out..I'm glad you were fortunate & look forward to argueing with you in the near future. ;)


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Lew
"Man, the 60's must have been real good for you!"
George Carlin..."Outrageous Fortune"

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore"
Dorothy..."The Wizard of Oz"

Thanks for the kind words, all. As it turns out, it's worse than I initially was told. I have to have surgery Wednesday, to have a plate and two screws put in to reposition the bone ends. Joy.

Guy, believe it or not, nothing worse than "shit" was ever screamed. I was too much in shock to think of anything creative!

You poor baby! (Well, it always makes me feel better when somebody says that).

Good luck with the surgery - I'd say, "break a leg" but you seem to have covered that.

Damn Phil, that bites! Good luck, man!


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'They couldn't hit an Elephant from this dist...!'

Last words of General John Sedgwick

David, I wouldn't worry quite so much about the kid and the roller blades. It's generally a lot easier to learn how to do it that young. My 16 year old nephew has been zipping around on them for years -- he plays roller blade hockey -- and it's amazing what he can do on them. All three of my boys have them and took about thirty seconds learning how to keep their balance and move around on 'em.

We require helmet and wrist pads at all time. I encourage the knee pads, too, but won't go ballistic the way I will if they don't have the helmet or the wrist pads. (Wrist pads because the instinctive reaction when you fall down forward is to put out your hands to break your fall -- often breaking or spraining your wrist in the process.)

They say it's great exercise -- maybe I'll go try again tonight . . . .

-Melin

Good luck with the surgery - I'd say, "break a leg" but you seem to have covered that.

Ditto that. I'd say that I'd say a prayer on Wednesday, but . . .

::d&r::

(How 'bout my positive thoughts will be with you?)

-Melin

Very sorry to hear about the development.Ditto that. I'd say that I'd say a prayer on Wednesday, but ...Oms to you instead. Good Luck...

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Lew
"Man, the 60's must have been real good for you!"
George Carlin..."Outrageous Fortune"

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore"
Dorothy..."The Wizard of Oz"

May you heal quickly, Phil. I've never broken a bone in my entire life, but I have had a sprained ankle, and it did hurt like a sonofafemaledog. So I have a small idea of what kind of pain you're talking about, and I sympathize. I don't think anyone's laughing at you.

My first time on roller blades, I made the mistake of going down a hill. Of course I built up too much speed, then hit a patch of gravel and wiped out.

The pad on my left knee cracked down the middle, sacrificing itself to save my kneecap. The elbow pads got quite scraped, but they kept the skin on my arms.

Unfortunately, I'd neglected to buy wrist protectors, and I did use my hands to break my fall. I spent most of that afternoon in the bathroom with a tweezer and a bottle of peroxide, removing embedded sand and gravel from my palms. ::shudder::

Sorry about your injuries, Phil. I just hope someone stopped to help you out after wiping out. I'm still filled with bitterness after ten years when I wiped out really badly on a mountain bike. I was sprawled across a log by the path, covered in blood, barely able to breathe, the whole bit. After a minute or two, a mother and two little kids came by on their bikes. the little boy stopped and pointed at me, shouting "mommy, she's hurt!". The mother looked at me like I was a dead racoon or something to be avoided and said (and I'll never forget this as long as I live) "DON'T TOUCH THAT, JUSTIN! JUST KEEP GOING" If I could have breathed or moved, I would have given her some choice profanity, or better yet, kicked her ass. Bitch.

What kind of a person leaves someone like that? For all she knew, I could have had critical injuries! Grrrrrrr.

Sorry for the rant, I just really feel for people who hurt themselves like that. I am wincing with sympathetic pain for both your broken bone and your surgery. Good Luck!

Miss Gretchen, thanks; actually, three or four people stopped to help, one offering his cellphone in case we needed an ambulance, and two others carrying me back to the car.

I was a bit angry with the E.R. staff. Even though I didn't hear a crack, my ankle was swollen to about the size of a softball, and I was in a lot of pain, but I didn't even get X-rayed for three hours. Then, the doctor told me I had a small fracture and would just need to get the cast from the ortho surgeon the next day, after the swelling went down.

Only after visiting the ortho surgeon, then double-checking with my primary care physician, was I told I would need surgery, so it came as a shock.

It's very tender and sore right now, since it's been broken for three days and is still only immobilized in a splint. I'll be glad to get the surgery done with tomorrow, and to get some better painkillers (vicodin ain't doing the job).

You've had sympathetic and caring postings from the others, so I guess it's up to me to do the dirty work, so here goes nothing:

Phil fell, HAW Haw!

"Hey, he's really hurt!"

"I SAID, "ha, ha.'"

Mend well, Philster.

to have a plate and two screws put in to reposition the bone ends.

OUCH!

Hope you enjoy the morphine. :)



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¾È ³ç, ÁÖ µ¿ ÀÏ

Surgery? Bah. Shoulda just put you to sleep. :)


Anyway, hope your surgery goes well. If it makes you feel any better, I have seen lots of dogs get pins and such put in their legs, and they do just fine! :)

[sunbear]

Never been on roller blades and now, I'm in no hurry. My kid has some kind of kid version, with broad wheels. But they probably don't make those for adults so Phil could try them.

[sunbear]

Never been on roller blades, but my kid has a kid version with broad wheels.One step up from Fischer Oprice.Try those, Phil!

[Persephone]

Hi Phil! I know it's been a few days since your accident & surgery, but I just wanted to say hope you're doing okay!

[pldennison]

Hi, folks--just wanted to update for you. Today is the first day I've been able to sit here at all.

The surgery went fine, lasted about 2 hours. Of course, it took me about that long to come out of the general anesthesia, too. Since then I've been flat on my back with my leg elevated, unable to go to work yet.

I went to the doc yesterday for a checkup. Turns out there's actually 7(!) screws in the plate, and about a 10-inch incision from my ankle up towards my knee, with a shitload of staples in it. Next week, they take out the staples and put the full cast on for six weeks.

I won't be around too much--I can only spend about 15 minutes sitting up like this before it starts to throb. See y'all around!

[Doctor Jackson]

I ain't laughing, Phil.

For father's Day this year my kids got me a pair of roller blades. They said it was so I could skate with them at the park, I say they're after the insurance money. That young and innocent crap doesn't fool me. Anyway, my second venture on the things I was feeling rather brave (no falls at all!), so I started downhill in a parking lot. I quickly encountered a situation similar to Strainger's, but mine was:

A. Realized I can't stop at this speed
B. Realized I can't turn at this speed
C. Realized that the parking lot stopped at a drop off, and I had no clue what was down there except manny trees.

So I decided to lay it down where I was. A slide that would have done a professional baeball player proud. I had on wrist pads, knee pads, and helment, but still managed to lose most of the skin on my right leg.

Hope your scars turn out as pretty as mine have.

[Jake]

Phil, I think what you are having done is called "Open Reduction". Had one done on my left ankle a few years back. Not as bad as it sounds, no limp or anything. Cast for 6 wks, etc.
Great opportunity to catch up on MPSIMS though. Get Better soon!

PS I think the proper term is "In Line Skates" RollerBlade is a brand name.
(Where's the spellchecker?)

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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
-Anon

[SoxFan59]

Get well soon. My prayers AND positive thoughts are with you.

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SoxFan59
"Its fiction, but all the facts are true!"

[Shirley Ujest]

Phil, hope you are feeling better soon.

Just a rollerblading tip. Practice on carpet , then in your basement or other area that you feel like a total scarecrow on wheels in privacy.

[Ukulele Ike]

We miss you, Phil. Best wishes for a fast recovery.

Rollerblading tip: Stop now.

[Czarcasm]

In ALL seriousness, I hope your situation improves soon. Please keep us updated, o.k.?

[Northern Piper]

has anyone heard how phil is doing?