Dougie_Monty

[Torgo]

In the "Squeaking Bed" thread, dougie_monty wrote:

You want details, I'll give you details. I have not had sex. No social life, nothing. I have never driven a car faster than 80 mph, and that for only short stretches. I have not "smoked pot"; I continued, for a while, a discussion of this topic in the Great Debates forum without success. (For the record I don't drink alcohol either--not even beer. I don't like rock, movies, or political and social causes. This may leave me with nothing--but I would rather look than leap.)

This is incredibly interesting to me. Dougie, if I could, I'd like to ask you:

1.) Why?
2.) Are you happy?
3.) Do you consider yourself a "hermit"?
4.) How do you think other people view you?



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Tim
"My hovercraft is full of eels."

[RTA]

5.) So what DO you do?

[Satan]

Doug:

I ain't the judgmental type, but I gotta say that all of these things combined make me really scared of you...

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Brian O'Neill
CMC International Records
rockuniverse.com/cmc/cmc.html (http://rockuniverse.com/cmc/cmc.html)

ICQ 35294890
AIM Scrabble1
Yahoo Messenger Brian_ONeill

[BurnMeUp]

if subtle inuuendo follows
there must be something inside

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To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

[UncleBeer]

I don't think that's the bed squeaking. It must be the springs on the hearse.

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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce

[dougie_monty]

I guess I should have anticipated this!
Uncle Beer may be close to the truth, closer than I would want to believe.
In a topic in General Questions--Schizophrenia--I added some comments which were repulsed, in that psychiatric treatment was allegedly 'doing me more harm than good.'Rather than rehash the points I brought up in those comments, I would prefer to sum it up by saying that I can ascribe my incompatiblility with others--rather than my rejecting of drinking, etc., to schizophrenia. It is ironic that my parents, would thought nothing of smoking and drinking, persuaded me to reject both. (When the three of us, an older brother, a younger sister, and I, were still in grade school, the parents taught us about illegal drugs. I have not tried any nor, to the best of my knowledge, have the others. From the way my father and stepfather acted I decided to stay away from drink; lack of sociability made the matter of sex quite moot.
The way I see it, Nothing ventured, nothing burned.

[Omniscient]

I'd like to play armchair shrink, but I'd need to clear up a solid week or two.

"Nothing ventured, nothing burned"
"I'd raher look than leap"

Those are great sig lines, but if you take them seriously, thats a frigtening outlook on life. Methinks its time to reaccess things.

[dougie_monty]

Okay, Omniscient...care to elaborate?

[Sylence]

It's simple, Dougie. If you never try anything new, you'll wind up in a rut. Nobody wants to be in a rut. And when you reach the end of your life-- we all do-- you'll have missed out on SO MUCH!

And if you're worried about looking dumb or screwing up-- don't. The only way you can look dumb and screw up is to never try anything new at all. So try driving to work a different way. Eat at a different restaurant. Order something you've never tried before. Break the routine. Then try something REALLY new, like skydiving.

What it comes down to is this: we only live once, so why save something for later?

-- Sylence

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"The problem with reality is the lack of background music." -- Anon

[Satan]

Okay, I came out and said that he scared me. I know I'm the last person who can say this, but here goes...

This is not a fictitious problem we are trying to tackle - this is an actual person! We are treating him like at best a specimen, and at worst a carnival freak!

Doug: Are you happy with your current state of non-activity?

If so, fuck anyone who doesn't get it.

If not, take the advice of the people here if you think it'll help.

[Satan]

If so, fuck anyone who doesn't get it.

Well, you know what I mean...

[kellibelli]

I agree with satan (choke) this is a real man, with real feelings, leave him alone...none of us, none of us is qualified to guide him...

Dougie, just be happy, dont let anyone here (especially here of all places! :)) embarass you.

[Rich Barr]

You're missing out on a lot, Dougie. The chance for women to turn their noses up at you and snicker. The opportunity to finally meet Miss Right, and have her never be satisfied with who you are. The joy of fighting over money. The unadulterated pleasure of having your wife dump you for somebody better looking and/or wealthier. The wonder of divorce. The fun of starting over, thus again having the chance for women to turn their noses up at you and snicker.

Maybe you have the right idea after all....

************
"Keep yo bowels open, and yo mouth closed!" (Advice given to General Curtis LeMay, candidate for Vice President of the United States, 1968.)

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Rich Barr
massivemaple@hotmail.com
AOL Instant Messenger: Hrttannl

[Omniscient]

"It's not whether you won or lost, but that you played the game" Not sure who said it, but its true, you've gotta suit up and give it a shot.

[Temujin]

Dougie, I think you are requesting a little armchair psychology, so I'll offer some, for what it's worth.
Sometimes when people vent private issues like this in public, it is a manifestation of shame. Shame hurts, but some people try to deal with this hurt by convincing themselves it doesn't hurt so much, because look, they can talk about these issues openly with others.
Guilt happens when a person decides he or she has done something wrong, but shame is different. Shame happens when a person decides something is fundamentally wrong with himself or herself.
Healthy people experience shame sometimes. Nothing wrong with that. But some people experience shame all the time, and that's when it can be unhealthy.
You might find it useful to identify where your shame could be coming from (sounds like something you learned during childhood), and then see what it feels like to let yourself off the hook, to tell yourself that you don't need to listen to these shame messages in your head any more.
When you decide you're OK, you might find it easier to be compatible with others.
Of course, if none of this applies to you, feel free to ignore it. I could be completely wrong.

[dougie_monty]

You're probably close, Temujin. When I was ten my father got aggressively drunk and assaulted my mother (he was so strong he once thrilled us kids by breaking a horseshoe in two with his bare hands!). It was so serious a neighbor heard it and called the cops and he was arrested. I never saw him again. There's no question in my mind that that incident--and the fact that I had acne really bad as a teenager--kept me from having any normal male-female relationships then, or later. (Besides, knowing how others treated me, I feared that similar treatment would await any girl who associated with me; as unreasonable as the treatment I got was, I would be cowardly myself to cause someone else to suffer it just for associating with me.) :(

[kellibelli]

Ack! you are too nice to be alone! The past does not always repeat itself....You have to be fair to yourself!

come up to new brunswick and I'll set you up.

[BunnyGirl]

I agree with Kelli, Dougie. You sound like a very gentle man who would do his absolute best for any woman. Do you realize how many women out there are dying to find a man like you, who will treat them with respect? Give yourself a chance, big guy! You might be surprised with the results. I agree with Omni too. You only live once-get out there and go for it. Hope all our "advice" helps somehow!

[ChiefScott]

If ever there was a person who'd benefit from an acid trip and a Dead album...

It may have been a long, strange trip, but at least it was a trip.

Over and out.

[dougie_monty]

I thank you, Kellibelli and Bunny Girl for your kind comments. But I live in Southern California and I cannot afford a trip to New Brunswick, as much as I might want to see Canada.
And to Chief Scott; Forget the acid trip. I have known a family of a girl I went to high school, for more than 30 years. Her brother took LSD I don't know how many times. And he died last year--age 44--because of AIDS! He had had bad trips a number of times. I don't want the DT's (drinking) or bad trips (drugs). I don't do either.

[Lucky]

No offense to anyone who has posted, but if Dougie has a correct diagnosis of schizophremia, "just do it" may not be possible for him.

Dougie, you really do sound like a great guy. I worked with schizophrenics for 8 years and by your communication skills I'm inclined to guess that you have either mild schzophrenia or that you are able to control your symptoms while writing. Please don't misunderstand. I'm not trying to suggest that you don't have schizophrenia. Rather, I'm trying to commend you on your ability to effectively communicate while saddled with such a dibilitating disease.

I also applaud your ability to share with people your experiences and to reveal things about yourself which make you a target for ridicule. I was deeply dissapointed to see that some here could not resist the temptation to taunt you. Shame on them.

I really don't have any advise for you and since you didn't ask for any, I won't rack my brain. I just wanted to let you know that you certainly sound like a very nice man and I wish you the best.

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"I think it would be a great idea" Mohandas Ghandi's answer when asked what he thought of Western civilization

[dougie_monty]

TouchŽ, Lucky. :) You said it almost the same way the psychiatrist (with whom I had sessions for 17 years) did.