A public apology to the SDMB community

[Esprix]

OK, I'm an idiot. We all have mental lapses. None of these things occurred to me at the time, but let's review so that I may be an example to others.

In this thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=125314), Stoid complained that the seller of an online auction included fundamentalist Christian literature with her purchase. In humorous response, I said I would start including gay porn in all of my online auctions. In humorous response, several Dopers wanted to take me up on that offer. In humorous response, I started an online auction ostensibly for something innocuous (some bubble gum, actually), but with the intent to include the above-referenced porn.

Ha, ha, ha. Aren't we amusing. Unfortunately, I forgot a few really important things in my zeal to be witty:

[list=1] I included the words "Straight Dope Message Board" in the auction title & description, plus a link to the above-referenced thread. This makes it seem that the SDMB and The Chicago Reader is somehow connected to the distribution of pornography.

By mentioning the SDMB, I am, in effect, using their name to make money for myself.

In addition to the link in the above-mentioned thread, I also started a second thread in MPSIMS advertising the auction (again, with humorous intent). This is spamming.[/list=1]

UncleBeer was right in closing my thread for spamming and for linking the SDMB to the sale of pornography. Ed was also right in pointing out that making money off the SDMB's name is wholly inappropriate. Thankfully Tubadiva was kind enough to IM me online and help me quickly straighten things out.

I stand chastized. My online auction has been cancelled, the links to it removed from the threads and my sig line, and my MPSIMS thread has been deleted entirely. I offer this heartfelt public apology to my fellow Dopers, the SDMB, The Chicago Reader, all the Moderators and Administrators, Ed, and Cecil, and my thanks go to them for their patience, understanding and guidance in my folly.

My bad. I'm sorry. :(

Esprix

[FisherQueen]

Esprix, will you marry me?




What?




Are they SURE?





All right, then. Nevertheless, a classy apology.

[porcupine]

Very nice job, Esprix, and I suspect it will be appreciated by the mods and admins. Maybe you'll be a positive influence on Opal and she'll follow suit with a similar apology.

[UncleBeer]

I suspect it will be appreciated by the mods and admins.
Yup. Good show. Thank you.

[Homebrew]

Can you still send me some of the porn?

[Abe Babe]

What flavor was the bubble gum?

Although if it comes with porn, maybe I don't want to know.

[heresiarch]

Don't buy gum from vending machines in pubilc restrooms. It tastes like rubber.

You can blow really big bubbles with it though.

[Fern Forest]

Ah, sweet mystery of life why is it that so many things don't seem wrong until you really think about it? For what it's worth I thought it was funny then and now clearly see why it was wrong. Certainly this was a mistake to learn from. Thank you for making it, I'm glad it wasn't me.

It always pays to read ATMB.

[Ringo]

Good on you, pal, for the acknowledgement. I hate to admit it, but a lot of my significant learning has come from my mistakes.

And owning up to 'em.

[zev_steinhardt]

That's OK Esprix. After 6000 posts you're allowed one minor screw-up... Thanks for owning up.

(Ringo, at 5997, you're almost due... :D )


Zev Steinhardt

[Ringo]

Ahh, gee zev, is there something outstanding?

[Mars Horizon]

I don't normally comment on things like this. Hell, I don't normally comment on anything, I just lurk until someone starts talking about Rush. :)

But I'd like to point out....

Esprix made a boo-boo, a "transgression".
It was brought to his attention.
He offered a classy apology, to wit, he was not a jerk.
And everything is just hunky dory fine. No drama.

What could this mean?

When people follow the RULES things work out OK?

Amazing!

Can we learn from this?

Mars
who is going back to his regularly scheduled lurking now...

[auRa]

Originally posted by heresiarch
Don't buy gum from vending machines in pubilc restrooms. It tastes like rubber.

You can blow really big bubbles with it though.

The mental image slays me. :D

[Esprix]

Originally posted by Mars Horizon

Can we learn from this?

Yes - ALL MODS ARE NAZIS!

(I mean, that's what everyone else seems to learn when they get chastized for doing something wrong, isn't it?)

There'll be a test on Tuesday.

Esprix

[Dragonblink]

Originally posted by heresiarch
Don't buy gum from vending machines in pubilc restrooms. It tastes like rubber.

You can blow really big bubbles with it though.

This is way too funny, man. Could I use it on my website?

Oh, and that was an amazing show of class, Esprix. I hope I have the nads to make such a well-spoken apology if I make a big boo-boo.

[Flamsterette_X]

Very classy apology, Esprix. I have to admit I didn't see the thread where you offered the porn/bubble gum package deal, but you handled this with you usual grace. I'm sure you're filled with remorse, and genuinely feel a need to apologize. (no, I'm not talking about anybody in particular here ;))

Maybe your amazing, well-written apology will inspire others to come forward and post their own, for their own errors in judgement. Who knows. But I'd like to say that my already great respect for you has just gone up a few notches.

I can only hope that if I screw up in a huge way around here that I will have the moxie to do what you just did. Cheers to you, Esprix.


F_X

[Esprix]

I only hope Tuba and Ed feel the same. :(

(And thanks, UncleBeer.)

Esprix

[Arnold Winkelried]

I'm sure they do Esprix. I personally was pleasantly surprised to see this thread. Good show.

[Truth Seeker]

What is this, Think Up New Ways to Drive the Mods Nuts Week?
Well, Esprix, at least you get points for originality!

[ShibbOleth]

Hmmm. Porn flavored gum? Gum flavored Porn? Perhaps two ideas whose times have come?

Nice apology, Esprix, always the classy one you are.

[heresiarch]

Originally posted by Dragonblink
This is way too funny, man. Could I use it on my website?
Thanks! Feel free to use it.

And I should have said before that [b]Esprix's[b] apology was very classy. And instructive.

[handy]

Wow, nice, interesting show Esprix

I must say though, the only apology I was ever asked to give was asked to
be sent in email.

[Coldfire]

Well, that's the difference, handy. Esprix wasn't asked to apologise. He just did.

[dougie_monty]

Originally posted by heresiarch
Don't buy gum from vending machines in public restrooms. It tastes like rubber.
You can blow really big bubbles with it though.
I'll take your word on that. Except for chewing up pencil erasers I have never eaten rubber. :D
(I knew a girl in high school who told me sake tastes like dishwater. How she knew is beyond me. :D)
I live in Southern California and I never see any kind of vending machines in public restrooms--or non-public restrooms, for that matter. :D

[whitetho]

Once Uncle Cecil has "shuffled off this mortal coil", I plan to freeze his body and sell his DNA on Ebay.

I'm posting my plans now to proclude Little Ed from using Cecil's body for "tastes like chicken?" experiments.