Is anybody else intimidated by hair salons?

[Cat Whisperer]

My rage is burning with the heat of a thousand curling irons - no, wait, I'm not really that worked up about this. Just a little miffed, and a little humiliated.

Some back story - I went to a couple of fancier hair salons in my neighbourhood to talk to the hair-doin' ladies about getting my hair done for my wedding next month, and to figure out timing for hair cuts, dying, etc.

First off, you walk in the door, and there is this whole "walking on a stage with everyone watching" atmosphere at these places; everyone looks up, all the beautiful people with their perfect hair and makeup give you the once over, and you have time to reflect on your hair, makeup, and clothing (needs washing, none, and office casual with Adidas runners) as you walk over to the receptionist. Then you get the big fake grin, and a "what can we possibly do for someone who needs our services as badly as you obviously do?" (paraphrasing, of course)

"Well," I stammer, "I'm looking to talk to someone about getting weddding hair stuff done next month."
"Oh - well, Latrina here could talk to you - Latrina dear - are you busy?"
"I was wondering about prices for services here, too"
{temperature in room drops noticeably}
"Oh. You see, the kind of people we tolerate here don't *have* to ask about prices." (paraphrasing again)"Here is our price list." (conveniently displayed on a tiny little card hidden behind a beautiful floral arrangement)
"$50 for a hair cut?!? $60 and up for an up-do?" (paraphrasing again - it may have come out sounding more like "Oh, thank you.")
"So, should we book you in for your consultation ($35), your hair cut ($50), your makeup ($45), your manicure ($26), and your up-do ($60 plus)?"
"Umm, I'm just looking for some information right now. I'll let you know about making the bookings."

Followed by me running out the door with visions of the lovely ladies having a good laugh as the door closes behind me.
"Peasant."
"Bougeois scum."
"Off-the-rack clothes wearer."

I'm doomed to a lifetime of cheap haircuts at First Choice Haircutters because these tony salons just intimidate me, and then I get mad cause I feel intimidated, then I feel indignant at their prices, then I just go home and have some chocolate and a nap.

(Please, don't waste a response on telling me how lucky I am that these prices are so low. It's the principle of the thing, you know?)

[ShelliBean]

Well, I'll be the last to tell you that you are lucky that the prices are so low. I get my hair cut at the local Haircuts by Surly Women for ten bucks. 'Course my hair looks kinda like I chopped it off with a weed wacker right now ("I'm giving you a 'choppy' look. It's in now. [Insert surly scoul here]).
So to answer your question - yes, Chez Slick and Self-Important always intimidates me. Mostly because I think they know I won't be able to afford much. I did splurge for one once and even though I went in with the attitude that "I belonged there" I still felt like a monkey in roller skates the whole time. A smaller, non-chain but not-so-expensive place may be your best bet. For my wedding I used a girl that I knew growing up - she charged me $20 for the whole deal, including placing my veil and working around it. She even came to the church before the wedding to touch me up and do my make-up. I gave her a nice gift in return for the extras. Still didn't cost as much as it would have to have been humiliated on my wedding day - and I ain't just talkin' bout the dollars.

[TeaElle]

I can't stand salons like that. But when encountered with with snooty receptionist and hairstylist types, I bolster myself with the thought "Hey, why are you looking down on me? I'm the one paying a metric shload of money here, and you're the one working in the service industry! Oh yeah, it may be ritzy schnitzy service, but it's still service! You still answer phones for a living, receptionist. And you, stylist, you still expect tips! Kiss my patron butt!" Yes, it's elitist, but why should they get to be icy with a customer?

[Cat Whisperer]

Excellent point, Rez. I'm going to be a big enough nervous mess on my wedding day; I don't need an appointment with Snooty Haircuts R Us to make me feel even more anxious. And I agree, tlw; I should look at it from the point of view that they are there to serve me, but somehow I just can't come around to that.

[NightRabbit]

I'm definitely not getting married in the near future, but count me in as one of those who will definitely get a "beauty-professional" friend to take care of her hair and makeup.

The way I think about upscale salons is this- all the glitz is just there to sell the product. It is, surprisingly, supposed to make you feel *better* about your hair (b/c their hair is just so damn good!). Do you want a girl in clown makeup doing yours? I think not. If they want to get uppity about it, then fine. It's your dollar that's making up their paychecks, however, and don't you forget it!

[Troy McClure SF]

Originally posted by tlw
...you're the one working in the service industry! ... Kiss my patron butt!

Nice. :rolleyes: Don't come to my deli.

[stolatt]

I used to go to these salons in a real snobby part of town back when I was real picky about my hair. And they treated me like shit and the other stylists looked down their noses and I sucked it up to get a good do. These days, I'll be damned if I drop my money any place that makes me feel bad.

Besides these salon people have nothing on the makeup counter people. "Oh dear, your skin..." That's where I'd go if I want to feel really bad.

I know Mary Kay reps will do entire wedding parties for makeup and I'm sure they would give you better service. Maybe you can find a rep that can also refer a stylist. I'd keep on looking either way. I don't think you should take that crap on your wedding day. Or any day.

[Cheesesteak]

I love the new barber shop I found. Once you sit in the chair, everybody starts yabbering in italian to each other. Staff and customers alike, I have no idea what anybody is saying. It's kinda soothing, in its own way.

Where do you normally get your hair done, can that place help you at all? I would imagine that stylists even at cheap places can manage an up-do. They all need training and licencing to be in the industry to begin with, right?

[Cubsfan]

Originally posted by featherlou


"So, should we book you in for your consultation ($35), your hair cut ($50), your makeup ($45), your manicure ($26), and your up-do ($60 plus)?"



What the fuck is a "hair consultation"?

[snermy]

Slight hijack] Rez, I must go to a slightly different "Haircuts for 10 Bucks" chain because they aren't at all surly. I went a coupla days ago and was talking about "Shallow Hal" with the stylist (she'd just seen it). Which I thought was quite appropriate to the locale... I do seem to get a completely different stylist everytime they go there. Course I tip really well too. I can afford to, the cuts are only 10$ :D [/hijack]

Yep Featherlou, I avoid those "spa" places like the plague. It's like people you see shopping in the mall who look like they just stepped out of a Gap add. I'm at the mall because I have to buy a gift, or some underwear, or spend 6 hours looking for a white blouse that doesn't show my underwear. If I was wearing a t-shirt that morning, that's what I'm still wearing.

Then you get people in all such places that worship at the altar of Moolah, the goddess of Insecurity, who have bought into that crap, and go into the stylist without a hair out of place, because Moolah forbid they should not look perfect for more than five minutes....

I'd ask around and see if any of your friends/acquaintance/relatives can recommend someone local.

[LolaCocaCola]

Originally posted by featherlou
"$50 for a hair cut?!?

$50 is a lot for a haircut?????

That sounds pretty average to me.

[Ceejaytee]

For my wedding (no veil) I got a very pretty handmade barrette and just pulled my hair back. I don't wear makeup, and even though all the books say, "even if you don't wear it, you should on your wedding day," I didn't. I figured, why be uncomfortable on my day. Didn't bother my husband any.

I hate tony salons like that. I usually get my hair cut at Supercuts. I may try my local old-women-get-their-hair-shellacked salon soon though. I doubt any of the helmet hair crowd is going to laugh at me.

[DeadlyAccurate]

Ooh ooh, I went to one of those before! Normally, I go to the cheap haircut places, but once I went to a place downtown. When they quotes $50, I almost choked, but I decided to splurge anyway (I was about to start a vacation). They offered me a soft drink, were extremely nice, and I had one man who washed my hair and one man who did the actual cut. It was a bit intimidating, but oh, it was so lovely. I wish I could afford to get my hair cut there all the time. It was, incidentally, the best haircut and style I have *ever* had.

[Sauron]

What's an up-do?

[Cheesesteak]

Up-do is the fancy hairdo where all the long hair is piled on top of the head, stylishly, of course. Normally held in with about 100 bobbie pins that the glowing bride has to spend a half hour removing at the end of the night.

[TeaElle]

Originally posted by jjtm
Nice. :rolleyes: Don't come to my deli.

Why, are you a snarky, condescending, elitist idiot who treats your customers badly as if to question how they could have possible dared to bring their low-market selves into your beautiful, high class delicatessen which should be the sole provence of the posh and well-heeled?

If not, then you're already aware that you're in the service industry, and you serve your customers well, and when they treat you with dignity and respect you treat them likewise. You don't need a reminder of the position in which you have chosen to work.

Really, until you've had to deal with one of these snooty bitches head on, you have no idea how mild my statement was.

I am recalling an episode of the show "Taxi" in which Elaine visits one of those poshy salons and is mangled by this foo foo stylist (played wonderfully by Ted Danson) who thinks it's funny that she's upset after he's made her look completely ridiculous. He treats her awfully, makes her feel badly for getting upset, and in the end, she only got respect from him because she took Alex with her, and he told the self-righteous stylist where to get off. Anyone else remember that one?

[Sunshine]

I have to admit I used to be intimidated by those salons too. The first time I went, I went with a friend so we could be brave together. I paid $50 for my haircut...and it was the best haircut experience I'd EVER had. After they looked snootily at us out front, we were led to the back and given soft drinks and magazines and then we chatted with our stylists for a few minutes to get an idea of what we wanted from the hair cut. Then the shampooer washed our hair, complete with scalp massage (oh, it's heavenly!). Then back to the stylists, who chatted with us both while cutting. Ended up with a great hairstyle that day and a great cut. Walked out feeling like a million bucks and it was worth every penny. I am a regular now and even though they recommend a cut every 6-8 weeks, I go more like 10-12 so I can afford it.

Yes, it was intimidating at first but once I got in there, they were great and I have to say the difference between the 10 and 50 dollar haircuts is huge. I think you really DO get what you pay for. At the $10 place they don't even dry your hair!
Anyway, YMMV but I loved the salon experience.

[Celyn]

Well, I certainly share the terror of hairdressers, and I think a LOT of people must do, as I used to go to one in Talybont in Wales who advertised as "Hairdressing without intimidation"!

So we are not alone!

:)

[BottledBlondJeanie]

My God feather I was just thinking about this the other day. Are you in my head or are those just psychotic voices?

Any beauty salon/spa that charges a lot specializes in making you feel bad. For instance, I went to go get my brows waxed at a local place (not my hair place) and I purchased some Aveda products while I was there. The stylist who rang me up asked me "Do you wash your hair at night?"

"Nope, in the mornings, Why?"

"Well your hair is so flat, you should lather it twice in the morninigs then."

Excuse me?! I'm here to get my brows waxed--it's 5:00, I've been working all day since 7:30 and it's 90% humidity and 96 degrees outside and you are shocked that my long fine hair is FLAT. FUCK YOU!

What's worse is I go to Jose Eber (the long haired stylist to the stars) in Dallas for my cuts and color. To have my hair shampooed, cut, colored and blown dry (this requires 4 different people and 4 different tips) it runs $275 a hit. And they make me feel like shit every time I go there and I PAY for it.

Yet, my hair is nicer than it's ever been...

But for a wedding, I can see dealing with a salon like you mentioned...they can make you feel like a princess when you are finished....really. It can be worth it--it's special. and the consultation is to make sure that they don't try something new and different that you hate the day of the wedding. You go in and talk to the stylist about what you want done and they often do a trial run.

Feather why don't you be the first brave female to tell the salon that they are making you feel bad...tell them off for their attitudes. Please, cause it can't be me...I'm too chicken ;)

WOMEN WHO GO TO OVERPRICED SPAS AND SALONS UNITE.

[The Wrong Girl]

:eek: $275? Wow, BottledBlondJeanie, that sounds like one good haircut. Most salons don't scare me, but chatting with the stylists sometimes does. It was so nice when I had a regular stylist a few years ago, and could update her on my life, family, whatever. Last time, I had a really scary, sophisticated gay man who I couldn't think of anything to say to. It was awkward--I like being able to just chatter away, even if I look like Cousin Itt (when they comb the hair over your face to get it all even.)

[Sauron]

Thanks for the answer, Cheesesteak.

[burundi]

Glad I'm not the only one featherlou. It's wierd and irrational, but I'm afraid they'll make fun of my hair, since I cut it at home and don't use anything fancy on it.

And LolaCocaCola? I'm a temp worker. I make $8.50 an hour. $50 is a lot for me to even think about spending on my hair.

[BottledBlondJeanie]

Mind you that's w/ shampoo w/ head massage and tips (I tip 20% if it's good) But it's also for color whcih takes FOREVER to do since it involves foil, small bunches of strands and 3 different shades of blond. The blow-dry and style is $20 extra.

But I DO get to drink wine while getting it all done.

I've paid less, but have never been happy. These folks do the best they can with the type of hair I have--fine and thin.

But they always make me feel like crap while I'm there before I've been "transformed."

"What HAVE you been doing with your hair? Your ends look frayed and AWFUL!"

"You have been using supermarket product on your hair, haven't you--I can TELL."

"Don't wait so long between appointments and you hair won't look so bad (as if I could afford to come more often!)

[monster]

featherlou, it sounds like you went to the wrong salon. (I'm captain obvious, right?) With some proper research, you should be able to find a place that gives great haircuts and are not jerks.

If you are just looking for someone to do your hair for your wedding, try calling places to see if they will send someone to you. I had a wedding planner and she made the arrangements, but we had a lady come to my hotel and do my hair. Get her on your turf and see how snooty she is to you! ;)

[Podkayne]

I usually have a good time at the beauty salon--though it doesn't sound as snobby and nasty as the ones y'all go to. I get dragged in every once in a while by one of my friends. They always go nuts over my hair, which is super-long, and if they aren't too busy they'll usually offer--nay, beg--to do it up all fancy.

My bobby-pin collection is a sight to see.

I love how they coo and ooh and ahhh . . . "How do you keep it so shiny?" "Oh my god, it's so healthy! What do you use on it?"

Answer: nothing. I use Head and Shoulders extra strength to fight dandruff, and shampoo and condition with Pantene, which I buy at the supermarket, thankyouverymuch, and wash every couple of weeks with a different shampoo (whatever random cheap stuff the hubby has--Suave, or White Rain) to eliminate buildup, and I don't blowdry, and I don't use hairspray, mousse, gel, or any of that other crap on it. So much for all that crud they sell to their customers, stringing them along with the illusion that if they just spend enough money and slather on the right salon-style botanical whosiwhatsis, they, too, will have beautiful hair. ("If you want to have beautiful hair, you must pronounce SALon as I do, with the emphasis on the first syllable!")

My hair usually looks like nothin' special--other than being long and healthy, which is fine for me.

On my wedding day, we went to my grandma's "beauty operator" who pulled my hair back in a nice barette and curled it in nice springy-bouncy-curls here and there. My sister insisted on a little makeup, which I agreed to because I knew she'd do a nice job of it. But that was it.

Good luck finding a good person/place to put your hair up, featherlou. I can see how you want to have it all fancy and stuff for your wedding, but sheesh! On of my friend had a professional makeup lady come special to put up the bridal party's hair and do our makeup. (Since most of the bridal party were physicists who could not operate a mascara wand without putting out an eye, I think this was a Good Call on her part!) I don't doubt that it cost an arm and a leg, but the lady was super nice, and super good.

[Troy McClure SF]

tlw-
You seem to direct that statement to snooty hairdressers and the like, but the bit I quoted above sure seems like a blanket statement about all service industry folks. Maybe if you didn't have a "Kiss my patron butt" attitude (your words) you might give the service workers a reason to treat you with dignity and respect. As nice as it would be, I've found that the default customer attitude is sure as hell not one of respect toward the worker. Any reason I shouldn't consider you as living proof?

[Troy McClure SF]

Oh, by the way, I work in a Ralph's grocery store service deli. Elitist and snooty it ain't.

[UrbanChic]

Oh, but I love spa salons. You come out looking fab and feeling relaxed.

I have been to a few where the receptionist is snooty but I have this way of reminding her (sometimes him) that s/he's just a receptionist and s/he can lose the attitude.

<hijack>
Does anyone remember the Ab Fab when Eddy goes to the gallery to purchase a 'art' (as she put it) and the sales girl treats her with a very condescending attitude?
</hijack>

[ENugent]

featherlou, I can almost guarantee you that you have a friend who is good at hair and makeup. And it is extremely flattering to be asked to do a friend's hair and/or makeup for her wedding, so most people will really work hard to make it perfect.

I've done makeup for a couple of friends at their weddings, as well as doing my own (and both my bridesmaids'), and it always came out great. (I also do it for dozens of new ballroom dancers at their first competition - I coach a college time. But that's a somewhat different style of makeup). The funny thing is that I almost never bother to wear the stuff myself, except when I dance.

The friend of mine who typically does the hair for all those ballroom newbies whose faces I'm painting swears by this book (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1570540187/qid=1026935223/sr=2-1/002-4997866-9340012). I can do some of the styles in it on myself, and that's saying a lot. It's got lots of good pictures and will really help you if you decide to just have a friend do it. (It's not just braids, although there are a lot of them - there's various other twists and updos).

All that said, I went to my Mom's salon to get my hair put up for my wedding (and my husband-to-be went there to get his hair styled, too). It looked great, and nobody intimidated me at all.

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally posted by NightRabbit
<snip>Do you want a girl in clown makeup doing yours? <snip>
If I did, I know where to go - I posted a thread about a make-up person I talked to at one of these salons who had the weirdest looking make-up I've ever seen, never mind on a make-up specialist. Who is still wearing bright blue mascara and eyeliner? (Um, if anyone *is* still wearing blue mascara and eyeliner, no offense intended. But you're probably not a make-up professional, right?)

Thanks for all the advice and commiseration, peeps. Maybe, just maybe, I'll give a hoighty-toighty salon a chance to wow me some day. Just not on my wedding day.

[Lissla Lissar]

I might wear lipstick on my wedding day. Maybe. And I'll get my split ends trimmed a week before. I can't bear the thought of spending more on my hair than I did on my dress ($130).

[Guinastasia]

And it looks gorgeous, I might add, Lissla.

I'll just go to my stylist. One of the old lady salons-but they do pretty much anyone. 9 bucks, plus tip. I just got my hair streaked, and it looks great. I've been going there since I was a kid.

Jeanie-yeesh! That's SCARY. Hell, that's more than my monthly college loan payments.

[mblackwell]

$50 for a haircut? Eh, its your money, but 50 U.S. Dollars!!! Yikes. Even $50 Canadian or AUS for a haircut is way too much, in my ignorant opinion.

[Angel of the Lord]

I for one am also intimidated.

I went to the expensive chain salon near my hometown today to get my hair cut. I don't get it cut there often often, but they're the only ones who do it right (I have really difficult hair), so it's occasionally worth it.

Everytime I go there, the person doing my hair says something along the lines of "you have such *beautiful* hair." This makes me want to go "oh, CRAM it" because I hate my hair. Usually I just nod and say "oh, thank you..."

Today, the stylist did the same thing, and asked how I wanted my hair styled when she finished cutting. I said, "I just want a little bit of a wave."

Riiiiight.

As she's drying it, I tell her several times that I don't want it that curly/don't want that much stuff in my hair/don't want hairspray/DON'T WANT IT THAT CURLY, JUST A LITTLE BODY WAVE PLEASE, DAMMIT/how would you like if it I took a straightening iron to your pubic hair? (well...okay....I didn't say that last bit...).

It still comes out way curly and covered in gel crap. I get "isn't that cute?"

:mad:

I'm not even bothering asking for a little bit of a wave next time. I'm just telling them to dry it straight. See, for me, part of the fun of getting a haircut is getting my hair dried all nice and stuff. Having to go home, brush it out, and have it look EXACTLY like it does every other damn day ruins the experience for me. Plus, I was pissed that the stylist just did whatever she pleased, instead of listening to what I was asking her to do. If I'm paying that kind of money, I should get what I want.

But here's the kicker--I felt like I couldn't say anything. I mean, there's me walking in in my Hot Topic T-shirt, jeans, and sandals....and she's got the million-dollar makeup and hair. What I was I supposed to say?

Feh.

[Domino]

My sister tried the "spend a buttload of money for a beautiful do" thing for her wedding.
She looked like one of Dolly Parton's wigs exploded on her head.
We ended up going to her maid of honor's home, sis got drunk, and the MOH's washed and set my sister's hair.
(blech)

I go to the schools for haircuts--we have an Aveda school about 5 blocks away from my work. Usually a great job.

My main angst about getting my hair cut is.... MY HAIR IS NOT LIKE YOURS, DO NOT GIVE ME THE SAME RATTY ASS 'DO' AS YOU HAVE!!!
Because of that, I usually have men cut my hair.

[UrbanChic]

Angel, I'm not picking on you but I don't quite understand why you didn't tell the stylist that you were dissatisfied with the level of service you received.

I equate this to ordering your steak cooked rare and receiving it cooked well-done. You wouldn't accept that, would you? Why wouldn't you speak to the stylist or owner about your level of dissatisfaction about something much more personal than a steak?

Again, I'm not being mean, I'm genuinely curious.

[Fenris]

Originally posted by LolaCocaCola


$50 is a lot for a haircut?????

That sounds pretty average to me.


$50.00 is < censored > insane for a hair cut.

$12.00 is a lot for a hair cut.

"Short and blocked in back, get it off my ears and just trim everything else."

About $8.00. Unless you're a really big tipper. ;)

:D

Or is this a guy/girl thing?

Fenris

[bernse]

Originally posted by Cheesesteak
Up-do is the fancy hairdo where all the long hair is piled on top of the head, stylishly, of course. Normally held in with about 100 bobbie pins that the glowing bride has to spend a half hour removing at the end of the night.

..... or an Anxious Groom about 10 minutes with a lot of determination! ;)


Featherlou, Mrs. Bernse used to go to a "salon" (or whatever the hell its called) at Market Mall. She can be pretty frugal so I bet its reasonably priced. They always seemed to do a good job as she went back many times. I can probably get a name if you like?

[Angel of the Lord]

Originally posted by JuanitaTech
Angel, I'm not picking on you but I don't quite understand why you didn't tell the stylist that you were dissatisfied with the level of service you received.

I equate this to ordering your steak cooked rare and receiving it cooked well-done. You wouldn't accept that, would you? Why wouldn't you speak to the stylist or owner about your level of dissatisfaction about something much more personal than a steak?

Actually...I probably wouldn't send the steak back :o. Though, I admit, it would be more likely than me making a big deal about this. I suppose that I didn't complain (excessively) because I figured that there was nothing that anyone could do at that point. It would be unreasonable of me to expect her to redo my hair when she had other customers waiting...I wouldn't want to inconvenience them.

I mean, I could send a steak back, and it wouldn't take that much time for them to fix it...and, for me, a well-done steak would be pretty much inedible. It would've taken her half an hour to get my hair wet again, and then dry it the way I wanted it. There was nothing wrong with the cut itself, just the styling, which, admittedly, *other* people (like my sister who was with me) thought it looked good. The style just wasn't what I had in mind, and I didn't find it to be very appealing. I did let her know that it wasn't *exactly* what I had in mind, but. . .it didn't seem to be all that important. Besides, her basic response was, "but you look great!" It's a bit hard to argue with that, and I'm not very argumentative in situations like this.

Plus, I was kind of intimidated (hence why I posted it here). I felt that if I said anything, the Hair Nazis would go medieval on my frumpy punk ass. The woman I had cutting my hair was very...forceful. I think I was scared of losing my head or something ;).

[UrbanChic]

Fair enough. I think it's very kind of you to think of the other customers, by the way.

[ENugent]

Angel, I probably wouldn't ask her to do it over, either. But I'd probably adjust the tip, and I'd probably reply to the "but you look cute," with "thanks, but I really prefer it the way I asked for it."

But I'm not too easy to intimidate now. Ten years ago, I wouldn't even have had the nerve to tell her how I wanted it, and I would have let it go if she'd made me look like Medusa.

[Cat Whisperer]

Bernse, I think I know the salon you're talking about. Maybe I should take a little drive and check them out.

I think this definitely is a "guy/girl" thing. How many women here have left salons with haircuts they didn't like or styles they didn't like, and didn't say anything to the stylist? Just about all of us? I think it's more of a "don't want to hurt feelings" thing more than anything - women can be extremely reluctant to make negative comments to someone's face. I know when I've had bad cuts or do's, I just go home and fix it; telling someone that they screwed up and I don't like what they did would make me upset, too.

[hardygrrl]

I used to go to a fancy hair salon.

I would spend between 150 - 175 dollars to get my hair colored and trimmed. I would also be pressured to get a perm that I did not want because "your hair is screaming for body" and buy the froufrou products.


I quit going. I color my own hair and wash it with baby shampoo. The only thing I spend a lot of money on is conditioner.


My hair has never looked better.

[Lissla Lissar]

Fenris, I understand that $50 is quite reasonable for a ritzy salon haircut. This is why I haven't gone to a salon in eight years.

Thanks, Guin. I like the dress, too. So far I've got two friends who want to wear it at their weddings- the only problem is that they're both six inches taller than me. We'll have to see...

[BlinkingDuck]

Are you all realy sure they are being snooty or are you projecting your insecurities?

[Rilchiam]

Angel, she wouldn't have had to keep other patrons waiting if she'd listened to you in the first damn place!

I feel your pain about the styling, though. For my sister's wedding, I got a henna rinse at a salon in her town. Looked great, beautiful...but then the stylist took up the curling iron and basically widened my hair until I could barely fit through the door! I looked like Miss Okefenokee Rhubarb Queen. Uch!

[kung fu lola]

Originally posted by BlinkingDuck
Are you all realy sure they are being snooty or are you projecting your insecurities?

That shouldn't matter. I work in the service industry and we always try to disarm our customers and make them feel welcome. If someone comes into our business with a chip on their shoulder, there isn't much we can do, but if they're just nervous we make an effort to be warm and friendly to put them at ease.

Even if there is some projection going on, the staff should at least meet the customer halfway.

[BlinkingDuck]

That seems to be a good point lola. I do think that much of the snootyness is projection and not really there but the salons should know that and make a large effort to overcome.

[TeaElle]

Kung Fu Lola hit it on the head.

And jjtm, for the record, I approach everyone with friendliness and expectation only that they will be helpful and polite. When they are not, I simply choose to withdraw my patronage. I do not get confrontational, I do not have a chip on my shoulder, I simply walk away without further word -- and take my issue up later with the person's manager.

And when a request to make an appointment is met by scowls, sighs, and pulled faces by an obnoxious little receptionista at a SALon, that's when I get angry and would gladly tell them to kiss my patron butt -- but I don't, because unlike them, my mother raised me to be more polite to people face to face.

[Ziactrice]

I used to get all bent out of shape trying those high-pricey, snooty salon places. Any woman vastly desires to look her best, after all, and if we have to go through (vast) humiliation to get there, well....

However, then I discovered that it was a lot easier to let my hair grow long then braid it back. I learned how to French braid, upbraid, and even do a crown braid for varieties sake. The first couple weeks were rough, but then I got the hang of it. I had simply checked a book out of the library to learn how to do all those braids by myself.

I have to takes about five minutes in the morning to do it, of course, but it looks even better if I do the braiding while it's still damp. If I'm really dressing up, I'll comb the front to make it smooth, roll up the braid, and put a few hair sticks through the bun. It looks stunningly professional, unlike any other long hairstyle I've tried.

I'm naturally a bit grey in the 'ash blonde' region, so I color my hair. I use those boxes from the supermarket, and vary between DEEP red mahoghany and a lighter cherry red every month, to keep highlights in it.

When I do need a trim, I seek out a professional barber (almost always a man, with the chairs and the nice-smelling shop) and ask humbly if he is willing to cut a woman's hair, if she only wants a flat trim to even up the ends. This always gets me big smiles, warm welcomes, and even the other customers grin at me. I pay about $12 dollars, all told, and the real barbers will even brush the cut hair off your neck before taking off the apron, so you don't get it down your shirt-collar.

[Eva Luna]

Definitely ask your friends for recommendations for a smaller, less uptight place. You're going there to look and feel beautiful, not like crap!

My mom sent me to her hairdresser, who works out of her home and is an absolute wizardess with hair. She always chats with me first to make sure she's doing what I want, and it always comes out looking better than I ever hoped. She only takes clients by recommendation, and she's always busy! Costs more than Supercuts ($40 for a cut), but lasts longer (at least twice as long) between cuts before it looks scraggly and looks way better the whole time, so to me it's worth it.

I do my own color at home, though; $5 a shot. Can't beat that!

[Eva Luna]

Definitely ask your friends for recommendations for a smaller, less uptight place. You're going there to look and feel beautiful, not like crap!

My mom sent me to her hairdresser, who works out of her home and is an absolute wizardess with hair. She always chats with me first to make sure she's doing what I want, and it always comes out looking better than I ever hoped. She only takes clients by recommendation, and she's always busy! Costs more than Supercuts ($40 for a cut), but lasts longer (at least twice as long) between cuts before it looks scraggly and looks way better the whole time, so to me it's worth it.

I do my own color at home, though; $5 a shot. Can't beat that!

[lezlers]

Originally posted by ENugent
[B Ten years ago, I wouldn't even have had the nerve to tell her how I wanted it, and I would have let it go if she'd made me look like Medusa. [/B]

That's how I am. I don't think I've ever been happy with a "salon" haircut. I have really curly hair and women with straight hair, in my experience, just don't know how the hell to cut it. Unfortuantly 99% of the "stylists" I've ended up with, have had straight hair. I had my friend cutting it for awhile, then she moved away so I decided to go to a salon with my sister in law. Man, that was a mistake. I told the girl about 5 times after she shampooed it "my hair really springs up when it dries, so only take off about half of what you really want to come off." She must have totally not been listening, because she ended up cutting it exactly how short I said while it was still sopping wet By the time I realized how short she was doing it (she started in the back, I couldn't see) it was too late. I had to let her finish. My sister in law (who has stick straight hair) looked great, I on the other hand, once my hair dried, looked like a freak.

It was a total hack job, but did I say anything? Nope. What good would it have done? It wasn't like she could wave a magic hair cutting wand and grow 6 inches of my hair back. I just gave her a shitty tip and haven't gotten my hair cut again since. It's really getting too long too but I'm traumatized.

[SylverOne]

I had originally intended to get my hair done for my wedding. I had won a gift certificate for a body massage at a local spa here in town and decided that since they came highly recommended, I'd just let them do it all. Tanning sessions, my nails, the massage and lastly, my hair. All to the tune of about $200. The two gals that worked there, also owned the business and were very, very conscientious, and made my experience well worth the money.

I had a different problem when it came to having my hair styled. I didn't trust the stylist, which was dumb :smack:, because I had seen their work in person. I had seen some wonderful styles that they had done for other weddings and for the local high school proms.

I knew exactly how I wanted it done. I had dyed it myself, a dark, rich auburn color that I just love and that looked wonderful against the white veil and head piece that I had made myself. I had actually styled my hair myself to make sure that it was what I wanted, and that it looked right put together with the head piece. I was terrified that they wouldn't be able to recreate the picture I had in my head on my wedding day. I kept telling myself that I really did want someone else to do my hair because the day I wanted it to be perfect would be the day that it wouldn't want to work for me.

Finally two days before the wedding, in a state of panic, I called and cancelled the hair appointment. :eek:

I went out and bought some small white clips. I could hide them easily in a mess of hair, and even if they did show, being white, they wouldn't look out of place. I layed in a supply of bobby pins and went to work. I gave myself plenty of time before the wedding, just in case I had to re-wash, and start over.
Half an hour, half a bottle of spray gel and mousse, and half a ton of bobby pins later, I was good to go. And it looked good, I even amazed myself. ;) :)

The moral of this horribly long winded post? Do what feels right.

My bridesmaids found a mutual friend to style their hair. Total cost... $20.00

I agree with the other previous posters... check around. Ask a friend, or do it yourself if you're comfortable with it.

Best of luck! (on the hair, the battle against snobby stylists, and, of course, the marriage!!)

Syl

[Tansu]

I've never paid for a haircut. I used to say I'd never set foot in a hairdressers, but that changed last Saturday when I popped into the salon where my SO was getting his hair cut. It's a tiny little place next door to his mum's gift shop, and his mum was in there having a cup of tea and chatting with the hairdresser (who is a very nice lass), and she beckoned me in. It was town carnival day, you see, so the shops in the back streets were deserted. SO's mum was getting no customers so she popped next door. (Just to explain that she doesn't usually watch her son having his hair cut).

I do my own hair. Cutting, yea, even with light layers for texturing. I permanent colour it, too. I usually dry it naturally, but I blow dry it with a round brush and some mousse or straightening jizz if I want it to look sleeker.

I'm useless at up-dos. My hair doesn't like being told what to do. Anything more complicated than one big clip or two small ones is out.

[medstar]

I don't let anyone intimidate me. I'm very overweight, wear cheap clothes but I treat makeup counter ladies with courtesy and respect. Even when I go to Nordstrom's and check out the expensive makeup, I get good service and plenty of free samples. For my hair, I go to Frizzles at Springfield Mall in Springfield Virginia, and I have Pattie cut my hair about every 10-12 weeks. It costs about $42.00 bucks which is a lot, but I can almost recreate the style Pattie gives me, which is saying a lot. I color my hair myself and I make sure only to cover the roots and then bring the color through the rest of the hair for the last two minutes of processing. I will agree with the poster who said that she only spends a lot of money on good conditioner. One of my tips is to rinse your hair every day in the shower. Every 2 days, shampoo your hair with a mild shampoo, only one lathering. Use conditioner on your wet hair on three days. The other two days, just dry your hair after your shower. Try not to use heated appliances on your hair if you can help it. My frizzies are really calming down after this advice.

[tolyri]

I am totally anti-salon. My husband cuts my hair. Before him, I did it my self or had my mom do it. For my wedding, I hired a co-worker who styled me, three bridesmaids, the flower girl, mom, and mom-in-law for $100. My sisters friend showed up (for free) to do make-up.

Not a republican but frugal.

[odd-socks]

Lezlers
"That's how I am. I don't think I've ever been happy with a "salon" haircut. I have really curly hair and women with straight hair, in my experience, just don't know how the hell to cut it...."

I have the same problem. Or used to. I cut my own hair now, although getting a straight line at the back on madly curly hair takes some degree of flexibility and jiggling of mirrors ;)

I'm happier now because I'm not subjected to the stylist oooing and ahhing about how "cute" my curls are and "you are so lucky to have curls!" - yeah, right; plus I'm not subjected to an hour of mind numbingly boring chatter: no, I'm not interested in what your boyfriend likes; how many drinks you had last night; where you're going on your holiday; no I haven't tried the very latest, hideously expensive gloop that passes for moisturiser/hair products.... ugh.

:D

[Kyla]

I think some of you guys are just going to the wrong places. I just moved and need to find a new hairdresser that I trust, but the lady I used to go to charged me $40 for a simple cut - but I loved her. I had tried cheaper places, but no one got it exactly right. And she never tried to make me feel stupid - she told me that she had seen her expensive products on sale at a drugstore for cheaper and that I should try to find them there if I could.

I'd love to find someone cheaper who can do exactly what I want, but if I have to spend a little bit more, I think it's okay. I don't wear makeup, I don't wear jewelry, I am a very low-maintenance person. So if I want to splurge a bit on my hair, I don't feel too guilty.

[jacksen9]

Trafacant is intimidated by barbers and hair salons.