How do you tell a humorless, whiny Blowhard to get over himself?

[The Mermaid]

In this thread about whether or not men also fake orgasms (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=126866) Blowero set himself up for the perfect joke and I being a sucker for a straight line took the bait. As per usual Blowero reacted in a disproportionate manner. When told by a mod "Behave, blowero. That was uncalled for. Knock it off." He responded with the rationale of "But she started it and besides it's just not fair!!!!!" :stamps foot, pouts:

It is obvious to any reader that Blowero hates me with an ire that burns like a thousand suns but, I can honestly say this hatred is neither mutual nor well deserved. I said something rash in reaction to a whole series of unrelated events and he has taken this slight and whipped it up into a self-righteous fury Even after I apologized for the initial remark, his tyrade continues. To be blunt, it intrigues the hell out of me how I could ingnite such depth of emotion in anyone, much less someone to whom I made an off hand remark on a message board.

But come on people, who could resist such a perfect set up? I would have responded the same had it been any other person on this board. Anyone else would have said "Damn I set myself up for that one didn't I. :smack:

Blowero, get a grip on yourself and stop taking everything so fucking personal, OK? Your little temper tantrums are juvenile and downright tiresome and besides everything is not about you.

No really it's not.

[Myrnalene]

So what is it, exactly, that makes your swipe at his sexual prowess a lighthearted jibe, but makes his slam on your appearance a nasty, mean hearted slur? Couldn’t he just have been giving as good as he got? Might you be overreacting a little? Or is there some history here I am unaware of?

(His was just a smidge meaner, but hey, you did start it.)

[The Mermaid]

He set himself up.

and yes there is history.

[wring]

If there is 'history', my recommondation would be to wrap your fingers in duct tape until the urge to post a 'joke' aimed in their direction passes.

I read the thread, I saw your jibe, his answer, the mod's step in, then you kept it up. As far as I'm concerned, neither your original post nor their response was all that horrible, but once the mod stepped in, it really wasn't ok for you to nudge the situation a bit more. Your last post (the first one on page 2) would have been the more appropriate reaction.

and to open this thread after the mod posted in that thread for 'both of you' to let it drop, is probably not your best plan either.

keeping in mind that I generally like you, Mermaid, so this is meant as constructive suggestions.

[seawitch]

Please, let the grudge go. It isn't pretty to witness. I don't have anything against you, Mermaid, but there's potential for a real train wreck here.

[The Mermaid]

Yes I know, but ......... I've said what I wanted to say.

I just didn't want to keep hijacking Chekmate's thread to say that responses should be kept proportional to the original remark.

I merely repeated his words back to him to let him see how comically it was written and he again responds with the notion that I must be a cold fish so to speak.

I already regret even bringing it up. Some people have no sense of humor what so ever.

[Geek Mecha]

It has nothing to do with having a sense of humor, or lacking one. What it looks like is you just have to have the last word, even if it means doing so when a mod asked you both to stop.

This thread is another example.

You don't like how he continues to hate you? Then drop this immature bullshit and quit goading him. I don't see how you can post things like that and then say the feelings aren't mutual or deserved. Obviously, you do have something against him, and I don't think I could blame blowero for disliking you for this kind of thing.
But come on people, who could resist such a perfect set up? I would have responded the same had it been any other person on this board. Anyone else would have said "Damn I set myself up for that one didn't I.
You yourself mentioned your history with blowero, yet you posted the jab anyway. Did you not think that that might not be the smartest thing to do, given that history? Do you blame blowero for being upset? Did you think he'd momentarily forget what happened before, or that he'd put it aside and laugh along with you?

Please.

If anything, the fact that there was a prior incident should have made you more sensitive that he might not take your remark so kindly, and think that maybe, you shouldn't post what you did. Regardless of how good the setup was. :rolleyes:

I'm not defending blowero or saying he's totally innocent. But you ain't helping yourself by continuing this childish crap.

[The Mermaid]

Yes this thread is a train wreck and was a horrible idea. That still does not stop me from feeling what I feel.

I feel like blowero is way too quick to cross the line of what is a justified and what is an irrational response. That is what I wanted to say. I sat and watched him perpetuate 3 fucking pages about what a cunt I am and in some the most foul and inappropriate language possible. Those kind of comments are hard to forget.

Perhaps I am being childish. Maybe I do bear a grudge. It doesn't mean I have no right to be angry when I am insulted.

When Coldfire said drop it, I took that to mean in that thread which I did.

So step right up and tell me how stupid, childish and petty I am. It will not change the way I feel.

[minty green]

Perhaps I am being childish. Yep.Maybe I do bear a grudge.Certainly. You concede as much. It doesn't mean I have no right to be angry when I am insulted.It does in this instance, since you bloody well started it.So step right up and tell me how stupid, childish and petty I am. It will not change the way I feel.You're being somewhat stupid, and very childish and petty. We can't foce you to grow up, of course, but we're under no obligation to facilitate any delusions of justice on your part.

[Homebrew]

To answer just the thread title, you start with:

"Now, Scylla, we need to talk about your behavior ...











:d&r: ;)

[Vic Ferrari]

Let's dissect The Mermaid's OP together!

1. "He responded with the rationale of 'But she started it and besides it's just not fair!!!!!'"

Bzzt! Actually he said "Hrrmmph! She started it..." The tone of which leads me to believe that he wasn't too upset.

2. "It is obvious to any reader that Blowero hates me with an ire that burns like a thousand suns..."

Actually it's not obvious at all.

3. "but, I can honestly say this hatred is neither mutual..."

Yeah, you're just taking potshots at him in IMHO and opening pit threads about him while apparantly seething in anger over his "perpetuat 3 fucking pages about what a cunt I am and in some the most foul and inappropriate language possible." Nuthin' mutual about that.

3. "nor well deserved."

Judging from your OP I have my doubts.

4. "Blowero, get a grip on yourself and stop taking everything so fucking personal, OK?"

Oh yes, [i]Blowero, please get a grip on yourself. :rolleyes:

5. "Your little temper tantrums are juvenile and downright tiresome and besides everything is not about you."

Except, apparantly, for the comment The Mermaid made about you in the IMHO thread, and this entire Pit thread too, of course.

6. "No really it's not."

Yes really it is.

By the way, have you let Blowero in on the fact that you've pitted him? I don't see anything in the IMHO thread.

[astro]

Originally posted by The Mermaid
Yes this thread is a train wreck and was a horrible idea. That still does not stop me from feeling what I feel.
I feel like blowero is way too quick to cross the line of what is a justified and what is an irrational response. That is what I wanted to say. I sat and watched him perpetuate 3 fucking pages about what a cunt I am and in some the most foul and inappropriate language possible. Those kind of comments are hard to forget.

What are you talking about? I'm lost or your meds are better than mine. His response to your taunt in the thread was pissy but fairly mild. Where are these three pages of foul language and invective you cite?

[wring]

astro I suspect that she's referring to the 'history' they have together. I don't recall it personally, but I don't believe she's attempting to say the linked thread is the one that was 3 pages long of horrible posts.

[astro]

Originally posted by wring
astro I suspect that she's referring to the 'history' they have together. I don't recall it personally, but I don't believe she's attempting to say the linked thread is the one that was 3 pages long of horrible posts.

I'm still confused. Here are their comments in the thread


Blowero: It's not always like that, though. I've had a few partners who finished pretty quickly, and then got kinda bored with the whole affair. When they start looking at their watch, or say "So...you done yet?", it kinda takes the fun out of it. In that case I'd fake it. The couple of times that's happened to me, I just dropped the condom in the trash - I didn't figure anyone is gonna be curious enough to go digging through the trash looking for evidence.


The Mermaid: So what you're saying blowero is that your partners are sometimes so bored that they are checking their watches and asking "So...are you done yet".

Who'da thunk it?

Blowero: Well, not literally. I just meant that some people like it quick, and some people like it to last longer, and sometimes you have a discrepancy between two partners. But you needn't worry, Mermaid - If I were with you (God forbid), it would be the first time in my life I wouldn't even be able to get it up at all. But I'm sure you have that effect on most men.

Coldfire: Behave, blowero. That was uncalled for. Knock it off.

Blowero: Hrrmmph! She started it...

The Mermaid: I was just quoting the man directly. His words, not mine.

Blowero: I hate to ask this of the mods, but if you're not going to allow me to respond to The Mermaid's insulting posts, could you at least get her to stop posting personal attacks? Her intent is obviously to try to insult me under the guise of "I'm just repeating what YOU said", and, frankly, is rather childish. I understand your policy of discouraging rude and insulting posts, but it's a little annoying when it's only applied to me. Thanks.

Coldfire: I think you're both being childish. And I know you're both going to drop it now.

The Mermaid: Chekmate I do apologize for the rather rude hijacking of your thread. I am sorry. It is an interesting and unusual topic that I don't recall has been specifically addressed until now. People always think it's the women who are faking it. I'm relieved to hear it is a universal phenomenon.

Where's the three pages of horrific invective and name calling much less the word "cunt" The Mermaid cites?

[wring]

perhaps I wasn't clear. In this thread, she mentions that they have 'history' (ie they've had some negative dealings w/each other in the past). The linked thread isn't the 'history'. I suspect she's saying that in there's a thread from way before where the two got ugly w/each other. And that's why she thinks he 'over reacted' to her post in the linked thread.

(note, I'm not claiming that he over reacted)

[astro]

Sorry should had read your post more carefully.

[blowero]

Mermaid, you aren't fooling anyone. You are obviously still angry about the tiff we had a while back, and your little "joke" was posted as revenge. To be honest, you're kind of scaring me now, and I'd really appreciate it if you would just stop directing any posts at me, no matter how strong the urge to take a jab at me, and I will do the same for you, o.k.?

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by The Mermaid
When Coldfire said drop it, I took that to mean in that thread which I did.Correct. Every poster is free to make a complete and utter fool of themselves in the Pit. Have fun.

[Sublight]

Yes, about a month ago the two of them got into a hair-pulling match over some pretty minor stuff. There wasn't really much worth linking to.

[The Mermaid]

Originally posted by blowero
Mermaid, you aren't fooling anyone. You are obviously still angry about the tiff we had a while back, and your little "joke" was posted as revenge. To be honest, you're kind of scaring me now, and I'd really appreciate it if you would just stop directing any posts at me, no matter how strong the urge to take a jab at me, and I will do the same for you, o.k.?


Ding ding ding We have a winner.

[kambuckta]

This would have to be one of the saddest threads I've read in a long, long time.
Mermaid, I don't think you've earned yourself any kudos with this thread and ESPECIALLY that last post.
Winner? I don't think so. :rolleyes:

[The Mermaid]

You know folks when I said "So step right up and tell me how stupid, childish and petty I am" I did not mean that literally. I was acknowledging that I knew I was acting childish and petty.

I don't care much for the party mentioned in the OP because he was very very nasty to me in the past. That horrible mess of a thread was not worth linkworthy. Believe me. So when I saw a chance for a cheap shot I took it. Not very pretty, I know.

When I said "We have a winner" I meant Blowero had hit the nail on the head and that his terms for a truce were acceptable to me. If we are willing to let it go, then I think everyone else should be as well.

[ultress]

Geesh will you just get over it. It ain't even worth starting a pit thread over. It's obvious that it bothers you a whole lot more than it bothers him.
Childish - most definitely
Mermaid I do not see blowero as a humorless, whiny blowhard type of person. You are the one that refuses to let it go. He has no feelings toward you one way or the other, so why do you even bother to let yourself have any feelings towards him. Always remember, when you let someone else control your emotions, you are giving them control of your life and losing precious time that you could be using for something in life you enjoy.
So you have a little 'history' with him. So what. Does he pay your bills, clean your house or sleep with you? If not, then why would you even bother to let any remarks from him have any influence on you. Just because he posted some insults about you doesn't mean anyone bothered to read them or believe them, heck it seems most dopers can't even remember it, which leads me to believe you are making a big deal out of that one too.
Rest assured, 5 minutes after most dopers read a thread it's already forgotten, and you aren't in their memory forever as flattering as you may find that.
Clogboy you get better every day.

[Fred]

Oh, I get it! The OP was posting from the Bizarro world!

Now it all makes sense.

[Hamadryad]

"How do you tell a humorless, whiny Blowhard to get over himself?"

You're female, dear.

Mermaid, you've seemed like a nice person in the very limited contact we've had, but the threads you've started in the Pit lately have been...uhm...well, they're at odds with your behavior in other spaces.

Think twice; post once. Good rule to live by. By which to live. Whichever.

[tiny ham]

"terms of the truce"

[Joanne Whorley]DRAMMMAAAAAAA[/Joanne Whorley]