The Wonderbreading of SDMB

[Binarydrone]

Disclaimer: The statements that are about to be made are sarcastic. They draw inspiration from the contents of this thread ( http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=128450) and this one ( http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=128449) as well as the locking of this one ( http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=128401) and this one ( http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=128399).It is in no way an attempt to violate any rules on humor or parody. The reader accepts responsibility for any negative emotions s/he may experience in reading it. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited.

I am so gosh darned cross! I think that my Wonderbread sandwich made with marshmallow fluff is going to tastefully explode. I was used to eating peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat (if you will pardon my use of the offending terms) but was then shown that I really need to raise the tone of my eating, and so switched over to white bread and fluff. I am not perfect yet; sometimes I still yearn for some nice Brie and stone ground wheat crackers. But then I remember that, after all, if I want to separate myself from the unwashed masses I should be having Cheese Wiz and Trikets. Naturally, in a continuing effort to impose the standards that, after all, one must maintain, I will wash all of this down with some tang.

Not only that, but I want to know if your chocolate ice cream is loose or tight. You see, I have seen a long thread about vanilla ice cream, and can’t imagine that it would be wrong to ask about chocolate. Although, if I am wrong, please forgive me as I a new to this higher tone thing.

Anyway, if I have offended anyone please forgive. I am now off to whitewash my house, burn any offensive literature that I find within it and get down in the amen corner with the hallelujah sisters until I learn to do a tasteful and unobtrusive washed out colorless fuck-off glide through life.

[Misery Loves Co.]

I am not going to weigh in on this conflict one way or another, but
get down in the amen corner with the hallelujah sisters until I learn to do a tasteful and unobtrusive washed out colorless fuck-off glide through life.
is poetry! Flows beautifully. . .

[Gatopescado]

too many damn other threads to look at to figure out where you're going, but i have to admit, it's damn funny! (is it okay to say that here still?)

______________
Well Shit on a Trisket and call it a whore-de-or-vous!

[Jodi]

[total hijack]

BIANARY, I just have to tell you that I read your sig as "Heaven lent you a soul; The Earth will lend you a grave Chinese proverb." Which is still a pretty good, if inscrutable, sig. :D

[/total hijack]

[tiny ham]

I've got 3 to 1 action on having at least a dozen threads relating to TubaDiva's closing of two threads by midnight. Who wants in?

[Abe Babe]

You're on. Loser has to wash Cecil's car.

[Mr. Cynical]

Re: OP:

Dial 1-800-WAA-AHHH for your next complaint, you fuckstick.

[Binarydrone]

Originally posted by Mr. Cynical
Re: OP:

Dial 1-800-WAA-AHHH for your next complaint, you fuckstick.

Let me be clear here you drooling piece of wombat shit. This is absolutely an unacceptable way to communicate. I hereby call you on it.

If you have some sort of enlightening comment as to why you disagree with what I have said, by all means share it. Otherwise, cram it up your ass.

This is not the first time that I have seen this drive by posting that seems to want to cleverly disagree. And while you are not the only offender, you are the one that is in my face right now.


Duh, I disagree and now am going to spout a random personal insult.




It is unseemly, and not worthy of the bandwidth that it takes to post it. Might as well be posting “me to” and “are not, are too” ad infinitum.

I really do not care if you like me but think that you can do better than that (always assuming that the ability that you displayed in reading my op indicates some form of writing language ability that would include writing).

[Larry Mudd]

With regard to the OP,It is unseemly, and not worthy of the bandwidth that it takes to post it.Took the words right out of my mouth, dude.

[Mr. Cynical]

Originally posted by Binarydrone
Let me be clear here you drooling piece of wombat shit. This is absolutely an unacceptable way to communicate. I hereby call you on it.
That'll be $3.99 a minute, sweetheart, and I don't take the pennies buried in your back yard in a Smurfs lunchbox.

Your task, if you choose to get off the short bus and wake the fuck up and get your head out of your ass, is to join the rest of us in the real world. Or at leat attempt to. Any qualifying effort will be taken under consideration.

It is indeed an effective way of communicating, you snotty-nosed twat vomit. I found your OP so incredibly stupid and full of derision that it merited nothing more than being completely and utterly snubbed or ignored by the masses. You got the message. Therefore, I communicated it to you. Can you understand that, you maggotjizz smoothie? You should be pleased, you fellator of shrews, that I have elected to grace your shameful thread a second time, thereby bringing a previously unknown level of interest to it.
Originally posted by Binarydrone
If you have some sort of enlightening comment as to why you disagree with what I have said, by all means share it. Otherwise, cram it up your ass.
Thus far, I disagree with everything about you. Why? Because you evidence yourself as a moron. Less hot wind has been produced by the festering turds boiling away in the entrails of James Trafficant. Less, certainly, but entirely more valid all the same. You fucking fuck.
Originally posted by Binarydrone
This is not the first time that I have seen this drive by posting that seems to want to cleverly disagree. And while you are not the only offender, you are the one that is in my face right now.You are talking like a boy with a paper asshole running through a brush fire, you realize. Those wolf tickets you're trying to sell could be better used to bolster your confidence elsewhere. Here, nobody's buying. Why not? Because, you poster child for squicking, we've SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake here. You are not original and special. Your post was the same old rubber everyone's already fucked in. Except you. It's virgin territory to you, you dripping fuckpimple. Know why? Cause you've been a member of this board for a staggering FOUR MONTHS. You're fresh off the boat, you sphincter baster. Get familiar with things before you try to jump in with both feet. The water's deeper than you are.Originally posted by Binarydrone Duh, I disagree and now am going to spout a random personal insult.It is unseemly, and not worthy of the bandwidth that it takes to post it. Might as well be posting “me to” and “are not, are too” ad infinitum.Do you realize what you've just done? Yes, my little vat of fecal grease, you've done exactly that. Now, you're not only stupid, you're hypocritical as well. Really chalking up points here, aren't you? Yes indeed. :rolleyes: Next time I want my battles won for me, I'll make sure to page you.

Good god, if you fell and landed on your ass, you'd break your neck and both wrists at this point.
Originally posted by Binarydrone
I really do not care if you like me but think that you can do better than that (always assuming that the ability that you displayed in reading my op indicates some form of writing language ability that would include writing). [/B]
I have run out of inspiration, tool. You bore me. Work on it.

[WV_Woman]

Wombat shit?

[apotheosis]

Originally posted by WV_Woman
Wombat shit?
Worst kind.

[Happy Lendervedder]

All that foul language, Mr.Cynical and the "c" word wasn't even referenced once?

I applaud your efforts to help elevate the tone of the boards. :)


Loved the James Trafficant reference, btw.

[Lamar Mundane]

Mr. Cynical


Sycophant. Get over yourself.

It was a bad call, and in the interests of Fighting Ignorance, you should shut up.

[Binarydrone]

Ah, now we get down to it Mr. Cynical. I have only been posting a short time and so you therefore conclude that my opinions must not matter. Nice. Never mind the fact that I may raise issues that are worth talking about. Never mind that you are displaying a shocking lack in any sort of social grace or common courtesy. I registered a short while ago and so this gives you some sort of a license to be a dismissive fuck.

Did it occur to you that I might have been reading the postings here for longer than I have been authoring them? Did it occur to you that I could have been here quite a bit longer and have had my account eaten by the Great Crash? Are you capable of making judgments based on content and, if you find yourself in disagreement, responding to the content itself, rather than making undeserved and unprovoked personal attacks?

Through all of your inane prattling, you have yet to do anything but be an insulting boor. Your mission, oh great self-aggrandizing squeezing from an impacted anal gland of a diseased geriatric cat, is to actually give some sort of a coherent rebuttal to the points that I was making.

See, the thing is this; you are a venerated (I mean gosh, over 4000 whole posts, and all by yourself too) poster of a board whose ostensible intent is to fight ignorance. Obviously, you read what I have written and have experienced some sort of a negative reaction. Mightn't it be better to actually take the time to explain why this is (you were, after all obviously able to take the time to respond two times, the second with some obvious care and rather imaginative insults)? I have gone to great pains here (in my admittedly short time on the board) to be respectful, coherent, thoughtful and above all (for lack of a better way to phrase it) professional.

You, on the other hand, show none of these qualities and quite frankly are a shining example of what is wrong with the way that people treat each other.

So, the thing is this. If my post has in some way offended you, on the level that I do not wish to be a source of rancor to my fellow humans, I am truly sorry. Problem is, I really do not know how or why I might have offended you so greatly with my venting as to have provoked you in to a baseless personal attack. You may want to think well on the fact that part of the implied social contract of any group has to do with feedback. You are letting down your end.

[Sublight]

:confused:

Anyone else wondering what crawled up Mr. Cynical's ass and died?

[Dragonblink]

Speaking of wasting bandwidth, Mr. Cynical, in everything you've posted to this thread I can find only one sentence, maybe two, saying exactly why you're so verbosely angry at the OP. Everything else was just insult after insult -- many of the insults were beautifully crafted, incidentally. Well done.

But Jeebus, man, way to overreact. A simple "Stop whining and shut up" would have worked. You're making more noise than the OP. I know this is the Pit, the place to roast other people, but could we have a bit of content and argument amidst all the personal "You're a poopyhead" attacks?

You should be pleased, you fellator of shrews, that I have elected to grace your shameful thread a second time, thereby bringing a previously unknown level of interest to it.

Who died and made you Cecil?

[Sue Duhnym]

As a friend of Mr C, I respect what he has to say, I believe in his right to do so and I laugh at his usage of "maggotjizz smoothie"...in fact, I'm writing it down.

I bow to Mr C and realize that I am woefully inept, horribly deficient and generally gauche when it comes to flames. He is the god of smartass retorts.

You are talking like a boy with a paper asshole running through a brush fire.

Pure poetry!

You fucking fuck.

The penultimate insult...simple, to the point, belittles the target and emphasizes your scorn.

Yet...

Binarydrone, if not correct, at least has a valid point. He is also being quite the gentleman (gamely so) in his foray into the Pit. He is holding his own and managing to be complimentary, insulting and condescending at the same time. My guess is that he's going to be a great addition to the boards.

I could be wrong but somehow I don't think so. Anyone with the balls to stand up to a Mr C flame deserves a chance.

Disclaimer: I did send an email to Mr C, pointing him to this thread and Binarydrone's response to his comment. It's likely I could have instigated this. Doubtful, considering the wombat shit comment, but I am sorry if I did.

[Fenris]

Originally posted by Sublight
:confused:

Anyone else wondering what crawled up Mr. Cynical's ass and died?

Perhaps it was Coldfire (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=71024)?

Fenris

[Mr. Cynical]

Dear Binarydrone:

I was going to flame you right now, but I read your last lines. That. combined with the fact that there's no way in hell that I'm going to be late for my first day at work lend a little bit of kindness to my otherwise black and stony heart. Well, that, and I really enjoyed my evening last night (*wink*). The source of my rancor is that you called me wombat feces. For god's sake, man, that's the worst kind. I don't mind being any kind of non-rodentia shit, but wombat shit? That's LOW.

It got personal when you made it personal. From my side, at first anyway, it was a joke.

Before removing the mote from thy neighbor's eye, first attend the beam in thine own. Read into that as you will.

Mr. Cynical

p.s. You're an ingrown hair on a shaven walrus testicle.


By the way, Lamar Mundane? You obviously don't know the fucking meaning of the word Sycophant. I suggest you get a large dictionary and beat yourself over the head with it until you're dead. It would save me the trouble of cutting and pasting.

[Binarydrone]

Hey, I am more than happy to call a cease-fire. Honestly, interpersonal conflicts take a lot out of my and are not what I am about.

I can see where my response to your post could have been a bit of an over the top escalation. My objection was to being called a “fuckstick” (nobody wants to be a fuckstick! (well, perhaps some do, but I don’t have that kink)). I really had no way of knowing that this was intended as some sort of a light hearted jest, and so (like any feral beast) fought back.

Also, I am a little upset about the topic that I was posting. Any time that I perceive power (in this case by the mod) being used capriciously my hackles stand on end. I really have no problem with having a set of rules and being asked to follow them, or even being notified that the rules have changes, and then choosing to stay or go based on y feelings on the matter. However, secret rules that are then imposed in a punitive way really freak me out.

I am always willing to entertain the possibility that I am wrong, but do ask that the error of my ways be pointed out to me respectfully. No matter what forum I am in. Naturally, I also reserve the right to totally disagree at any time for any reason.

Anyway, congrats on the new job (hope that they allow surfing!). Peace.

[Larry Mudd]

Now if only that persnickety middle-east situation could be resolved so nicely.

[pZott]

::sets up lawn ch-

I DIDN'T SAY IT! I DIDN'T SAY IT!!!

;)

[Dragonblink]

Group hug!

[hajario]

It's like one of those drunken parties where two people start off screaming at each other and end up in the upstairs bedroom sucking face. I have to say that that was by far the most enjoyable Pit fight I have ever witnessed.

Haj

[kambuckta]

Originally posted by pZott
::sets up lawn ch-

I DIDN'T SAY IT! I DIDN'T SAY IT!!!

;)

Hey pZott, if you give 'us a hand, we can drag the couch over.......

Oh, bugger! It's all over.