From worst commercials to great ones

I have to say some of the commercials for Jack in the Box are among the funniest I've ever seen...For the benifit of those East of the Mississippi, the character of Jack is played by a guy in a big round clown head. There's one where Jack's ad agency is trying to sell him this spot where the "Spicy Crispy Girls" (A Spice Girl ripoff) are singing about the spicy, crispy chicken sandwich. Jack looks up at the agent and says "You are sooooo fired." (There was a follow up to this with a different video and Jack says "Didn't I fire you?") Another is a flashback to the 70's where the Jumbo Jack is invented and Jack has straight, shoulderlength hair and big tinted glasses, a la Phil Spector. Very amusing! But one of my faves is when Jack is observing a focus group of meat and cheese lovers from behind a two-way mirror. The leader is describing the Ultimate cheeseburger (cheese, meat, cheese, cheese and meat) and one of the test subjects says "I understand the meat and cheese, but why the bun?" (Jack does hilarious spit-take behind glass) another says "Yeah, a bun is neither cheese, nor meat!" and a third says "Word!" Jack comes out screaming "Without the bun your hands would be covered with meat and cheese!" They stare at him blankly and he shrugs and says he'll think about it. There was a recent one filmed in the style of the TV show "COPS" where Jack (filmed from a camera over his shoulder) beats on some guy's door and accuses him of calling him "Junk in the Box." A foot chase ensues and Jack ends up pinning the guy in his yard and forcing him to eat a Jumbo Jack and admit it's fresh and tasty, while onlookers (with digitally scrambled faces) say "lookin' good, Jack." Doesn't really read as funny as it is, sorry.

I rather like Pepsi's Phantom Menace tie ins with that weird little four armed alien Star Wars freak. Espescially the one where he's re-enacting the movie with the character cans. The line 'This is the weirdest date I've ever been on.' slays me every time. You can call me weird, you can call me kookie, I'll even stand still for you calling me insane, but that's a damned funny commercial.


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'They couldn't hit an Elephant from this dist...!'

Last words of General John Sedgwick

First of all, I agree heartily with Voguevixen...I see those Jack in the Box spots when I go back west to visit and they are knee-slappers, especially the "ultimate cheeseburger" spot--you're right, that spit-take is dead on. Furthermore:

The Miller Draft commercials; genius in their simplicity. Think about it...shoot some 20-somethings having a party, some shots of the beer, throw in a retro-80's tune and you got a catchy ad that cost almost nothing to produce.

The VW Turbo Beetle: great, I mean GREAT visual design.

The ESPN "This is SportsCenter" Promos, of course!

The spot for the U.S. Women's Soccer team that has them in a dentist's office..."Then I will have 2 fillings,"...

The campaign Nike ran last year during the NBA lockout. Spike Lee at a 7th grade girls basketball game, on the sideline harassing and berating one of the players, a la Reggie Miller.

Here in Minneapolis there's a local TV spot for "Grumpy's", a local bar. In a computer generated voice (think Stephen Hawkings) the ad announces, "At Grumpy's eat our food, drink our beer, then give us your money and piss off."

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Tim
"My hovercraft is full of eels."

For my money, some of the best commercials I've ever seen are Canadian beer commercials, because you're not allowed to drink the beer in the commercial. So Labatt's and Molson come up with the most incredible ad campaigns to generate interest.
My favourites are all Labatt's.
1. Out of the Blue
Two commercials in this series are simply amazing. One features a street hockey game breaking out in downtwon Toronto, which stops when a streetcar is bearing down on the participants, and another is the equally brilliant hotdog cart which turns into a real-life game of curling.
2. Voyageur Series
This was an ongoing saga released instalment by instalment, gradually becoming better then declining.
The last two instalments were pretty dumb, but there was a bunch of good ones.

Alex

The best commercial I ever saw was from a foreign country it was for Memorex cassette tapes. This guy is standing in an empty room, he hits the play button on a boom box and a jamaican tune starts blarin out of the speakers..heavy accent and you can't understand a word the singer is sayin so the guy standing starts to flip thru cue cards he's holdin and they seem to be the words..at one point (and unfortunately this is the only phrasing I remember) one card says "my ears a light". The music stops, the guy makes a wierd face, shakes his head and walks off. An off-screen hand changes the tape in the boom box and the music is MUCH clearer, you can hear every word clearly and the cue cards we were reading weren't even CLOSE to the real words....then it simply says "Memorex" and the commercial ends. I saw this about 3 yrs ago and to this day if anyone around me goofs up on the words to a song I call it an "ears a light" :)

Enough with all this negativity! Everybody agrees that there are real duds out there, but there are also little gems. I love well-made commercials, to the point that I will often interrupt the "fast forward" on my VCR to look at them, although I hasten to add that there are very few such instances. I'm probably not alone in this regard, because when they have a retrospective of the best commercials from all over the world at one of our local cinemas, there are always lines outside.

With this intro out of the way, I yield the floor to all interested. Being fully conscious of the fact that the whole process is quite subjective, I could nevertheless start the ball rolling with two of mine: any one of the commercials in the recent GAP campaign, and a set of older ones -- the ones inviting people to "come see the softer side of Sears". Might add a last one: a 15-second commercial where you see a door slowly closing with traffic noise in the background. Once the door is shut, you see the company's logo: Midas Muffler. Dead silence. Not one word spoken.

Has anyone seen the new Coca Cola commercial? A teenage girl is getting ready to go out with her friends. After several changes, she has on an outlandish outfit and layers and layers of badly put on make up. Then she takes a drink of coke and suddenly decides to wash off all the make up and put on jeans and a sweater. Then you see her with her two similarly dressed friends.. I love the idea that being natural is better than wearing a ton of makeup.

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Gail
"Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you, my friend--
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again...."
-Steely Dan

I really like the VW Jetta commercial, where the viewer is looking out through the windshield of a Jetta, and the windshield wipers are moving in synch with the music. Then out the windows you see everything else is doing the same-- every time someone on the sidewalk moves, they're in synch with part of the beat. Pretty spooky.

When I bought my new Jetta, the dealer promised to send a copy of the song on tape, but never did. The bastard. =B^/

The campaign Nike ran last year during the NBA lockout. Spike Lee at a 7th grade
girls basketball game, on the sideline harassing and berating one of the players, a
la Reggie Miller.

That was great! I only saw the commercial once, but I'll never forget Spike speaking directly into the camera at the end: "Seventh Grade Girl's Basketball... It's FAAAANtastic!"

Say what you will about Nike, they do have some great commercials. I especially like the recent "Chicks dig the longball" series with Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine. "Hey! There's Cy Young winners over here!" Cracks me up every time!

The recent Hummer commercial. interior shot of two guys riding in a Hummer. The vehicle bumps slightly. Driver asks passenger "Squirrel?". Passenger looks back and replies "Rabbit.........convertible."

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The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

Shown during last years football season...
Outpost.com (computer company)...Shows marching band out on the field doing their thing, then they release a pack of hungry wolves who rip them (you assume) to pieces...The close up shot of one of the band members is priceless...then, they say "Send all angry mail to www.outpost.com" or something like that...they had a whole series but this one was hilarious!

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"Were you out on the lake today kissing your brain?"- The Man with Two Brains

My favorite Outpost.com commercial was the one with the guy (supposedly) shooting gerbils out of a cannon at a wall. I love fuzzy little critters, but that ad cracked me up everytime.

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

Another vote for the Jack in the Box ads. They had one during the congressional elections that was done in the style of a campaign ad: "My opponent is a milkshake-hating extremist!"

1. The monster.com commercial with all the kids saying what they want to be when they grow up. Cracks me up every time, perhaps because I'm going to graduate pretty soon, and I'm rather cynical about joining the workforce. "I want to claw my way up to middle management." Brilliant.

2. The entire Snickers "Not going anywhere for a while?" ad campaign, as long as it deals with sports in some way (the one they have out now with the cable company just plain sucks). I loved the very first one, with Marv Levy telling the Bills that they weren't going anywhere until they figured out how to make it to a fifth straight Super Bowl. And the "great googly moogly" guy painting "Chefs" instead of "Chiefs" on the field. And the one this past season with the NFL officials at the eye doctor. I hope they keep this campaign up for a while, because it cracks me up.

3. The Mastercard "Some things money can't buy" campaign. I don't really have much to say about them, other than they all give me a warm fuzzy feeling.

4. This one's a few years old, but it made an impression. It was one of the internet commercials with Denis Leary. He was at this store called the Communist Emporium, where they were selling horribly kitschy things like cookie jars in the shape of Lenin's head and USSR flags. Denis had the reaction that one might imagine that he would have, and the owners said "We're Marxist, but we have to make a buck just like anyone else." The first time I saw that commercial, I laughed so hard I nearly cried.

The monster.com commercial with all the kids saying what they want to be when they grow up. Cracks me up every time, perhaps because I'm going to graduate pretty soon, and I'm rather cynical about joining the workforce. "I want to claw my way up to middle management." Brilliant.

I'll second that one. That commercial starts off with a serious "look" to it but it's actually funny (or depressing, when the kids start describing your job).
"I want to be forced into early retirement."
"I want to spend all day filing."
"I want to be paid less for doing the same work."
"Yes sir. You're right, sir. Right away, sir."


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"Who are all you people, and how did you get in my computer?"

When I talked of the process being quite subjective, Gail said she really liked the Coke commercial, while Melatonin, on the "New worst commercials" thread, abhorred it. Go figure. I, myself, haven't seen it so... no comment for now :)

The campaign Nike ran last year during the NBA lockout. Spike Lee at a 7th grade girls basketball game, on the sideline harassing and berating one of the players, a la Reggie Miller.

I may be mistaken, but I think that girl Spike is berating is Reggie Miller's daughter. I like the Samuel Jackson one better though:

"Three guys playing horse. It's FAN-tastic!"

One guy misses the hoop and the ball goes over the roof of the garage. Sam just yells: "YEAH!!!!!!". Great commercial.


Alphagene

I love the Chewy granola bar commercial with kids spilling their parents' secrets: "My dad wears a wig." "Dad lost his paycheck at the track!" "Mom has a tattoo on her--" "My little brother was an accident." That slays me :)

I also loved the kitten food commercial from a few years ago that showed a tiny fluffy orange kitten running all around the house with race car sound effects. When they had a close up of the kitten meowing, only the meows were replaced with "vroom vroom" noises, I'd laugh until I cried.

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

Maybe Canada has a different set of commercials than the USA, but my favourite car commercials are a toss-up between a bunch of VW Jettas playing soccer and a Ford commercial touting a new Hydrogen-powered engine that ends with somebody taking a hot bath in the box of his pickup-truck...

The VW one with the guy singing Mr Roboto by Styx while doing the Robot silently in the closed car. When I first saw it, I recognized it a split second before the other guy opened the door. Brought back memories.

The Jukka brothers for MTV. Just something about them being in the middle of nowhere with MTV and emulating the fashion and crap cracks me up. The best one is the one where they trade gifts and get silver jackets

The one where G.I. Joe pulls up to the dollhouse in his red Porsche, and Barbie ditches the tennis outfit for a silver tube dress and zooms off with him while Ken mewls quietly.

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Remember, I'm pulling for you; we're all in this together.
---Red Green

Volkswagon has some great commercials. I love the one for the Jetta (I think) in which there's a bunch of them driving around a corral, doing little jumps and stuff and the narrator saying "You can tell by the gleam in their daytime running lights that these are happy cars." A take-off of a dog food commercial... absolutely hilarious. It's been on the air for a while now and it's still funny.

Doesn't really read as funny as it is, sorry.

Voguevixen, we don't have Jack-in-the-Box here in the midwest, so we don't get to see those commercials. Your descriptions had me chuckling!!

I may be mistaken, but I think that girl Spike is berating is Reggie Miller's daughter

No, it is a girl named "Regina Miller" in the commercial (not her real name). I love when he yells at her "Where's your game at?" and she yells back, "Shut up!!"

I can't remember what the ad is for (Snickers?) but one of the most *hilarious* ads I have ever seen is this one:
Cute guy and girl walking out to the car, guy opens door for the girl, shuts the door to walk around to his side. As soon as the door shuts, the girl rips a gigantically loud fart!! When the guy gets in his side he looks at her and says, "So...Sally, have you met Jim and Tammy yet??" Jim and Tammy of course are sitting in the back seat and witnessed the entire incident and still have to spend the evening together. Of course it is a little distasteful, but classically hilarious. What makes it so funny to me is that the girl is the typical blonde bombshell...having her let one is just priceless.

I also love the Volkswagen commercial with the slackers driving around town listening to the "Da Da Da" song.

A few of these commercials haven't seen the light of day here (Central Canada) I believe. But the descriptions given are hilarious enough...the next best thing! :D

My all-time favorite commercial is the one for Tabasco Sauce...

It shows a homely kid on his porch, eating pizza and pouring the sauce all over each bite. A mosquito lands on the kid's arm, and the kid does nothing as the skeeter sucks his blood. The mosquito then takes off, flies a few feet away, and explodes into a fireball!

I laugh myself silly every time I see this one...

My favorite commercial was for an insurance company in Europe. These guys are moving an exhibit in a museum and take a break, leaving a voodoo doll in the same room as a large portrait of Bill Clinton. Some tourists come in and start playing with the voodoo doll and there are these hilarious computer-generated scenes where Bill is waving his arms while giving a speech, turning his back to the audience, then falling over with a thunderous crash. Then the words "Accidents happen" appear on the screen, followed by the name of the insurance company.


-- Sylence

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"A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here'." - Steven Wright

The one where G.I. Joe pulls up to the dollhouse in his red Porsche, and Barbie ditches the tennis outfit for a silver tube
dress and zooms off with him while Ken mewls quietly.
You've got to love the Van Halen soundtrack to this commercial!!

One of my favorites, eventhough I've only seen it once, was this commercial for Denny's that showed this rooster and a bunch of chickens chasing him. It had this funny disco or r&b tune in the background. It was a scream cause I like chickens. Anyone else seen this and can remember the song?

I'm not sure if its Labatts or Molson-

Phone rings in 20-something guy's apartment. Since he's too hung over to answer the phone, the machine picks up. His friend is asking what happened to him the night before, that he heard he was heading to some body piercing place. Hung over guy's eyes pop open and he sees a business card from a body piercing and tattooing place on the cupboard. He quickly panics and scans his arms and shoulders for a tattoo. He doesn't see one and is tremendously relieved. He does, however have his nipple pierced. After the initial shock, he looks at it admiringly with a "Hey, not bad, pretty cool" look on his face and flips the business card over - there is a phone number with the name "Cheryl" on it. Things are looking up! His friend is still talking on the machine as he turns around - to reveal a hideous, entire back covering tattoo of a pink teddy bear holding a heart with the name "Cheryl" on it. As he walks toward the door, his friend says "You're the man, cool guy! See you at the beach!" Then it says something like enjoy our beer but don't get totally pissed. This has been running for a few years, but it still cracks me up.

Couple of other nice ones. Bunny Girl mentioned the Nissan commercial with Van Halen. The company has added another one recently with Roger Daltrey's legendary scream accompanying one of Nissan's products sliding across a stretch of desert flat with a cloud of dust dragging behind it. Makes my blood curl every time.

I also found the series of commercials focused on the reaction of different couples getting the result of pregnancy home tests really well done because of its simplicity and its "human touch". Those same commercials were panned on the worst commercials thread; which, I guess, goes to prove my premise as to the subjectivity of this whole matter.

[Misanthrope]

voguevixen . . .

I have to say some of the commercials for Jack in the Box are among the funniest I've ever seen.

Have you seen the new one with Jack working late on a new name for his cheeseburger with real bacon strips and real bacon bits? Jack's wife calls and apparently asks why he's working so late. Jack says he's trying to come up with a new name for his sandwich. All he's come up with is "Bacon Bacon Cheeseburger." Then, Jack says "You're wearing what?" Jack's face turns red and the next thing you see is the Jack-in-the-Box bag coming down advertising the new "Bacon Bacon Cheeseburger."


AuraSeer . . .

When I bought my new Jetta, the dealer promised to send a copy of the song on tape, but never did. The bastard.

You can get that music in a .wav file. My wife used it for a presentation. She loves that commercial.

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D'oh

[pluto]

I saw a new one with Brandi Chastain of sports bra fame. She was playing foosball with three guys and when she scored the winning goal they all stood there looking at her kinda goofy. Finally one of them says, "What's with the shirt?"

I don't even remember what they were advertising, but it sure was funny.


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"non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem"
-- William of Ockham

[Homer]

Some of the best ones are the new M&M commercials, with Puddy from Seinfeld fame. The two in particular are:

1) Puddy and a yellom M&M are on a couch, and Puddy wants to eat the M&M. The M&M flops down onto the floor and says how he can't be eaten because he's on the floor. "Says who?" It's hilarious.

2) The M&Ms are standing around eating bags of M&Ms when Puddy comes in and says it's cannibalism. They all switch bags. Puddy takes the M&Ms away from them, and as he walks out of the store he looks at the camera and says "That's the most disturbing thing I ever saw."

Okay, so my descriptions are lame, but I know you guys have seen them. They're a riot.

--Tim

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We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first "lost generation" nor today's lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak.

[hansel]

Another VW ad: a nerdy couple are driving along a suburban street (she's driving, he's in the passenger seat). She looks content, but he looks thoughtful, and says "hmm".

"What?" she asks, looking at him.

Sucking on his teeth a bit, he replies "you know that, um, home video we made?"

She looks a little guilty, a little naughty, and a little self-satisfied. She giggles. "Yes?"

Cut to a shot outside the car, traveling alongside. As he says "I think we just returned it", she locks up the brakes and the car skids out of the picture, as if your vehicle kept going.

Cut to an interios shot of the video store, as they pull up outside and jump out of the car. Inside, people are watching the tape on the video store TVs, and you can hear her voice laughing, saying "We're going to erase this, right?"

It's an old joke, but the commercial is so well filmed, and her reaction while thinking about the tape is just priceless.

The other ad I love is one where a little boy in a tux is holding a glass of punch, looking up into the camera, and says "My mommy says she can't believe you wore white!"

I think that one may be in the same line as the other Chewy granola bar commercials.

[dougie_monty]

Color me reactionary, but I hope I never see a Hummer, let alone that commercial. In California hit-and-run is a criminal offense--sorry to hear about the state where that commercial was made! It says, "By a Hummel and run down and kill everyone you don't like! It sounds like a line from Nietzsche favoring war. (I refer to Outlines of History.)

[Persephone]

My current favorite commercial is one for an office supply store, Staples, I think. The background music is a Christmas carol, "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year." There's a man dancing around with a shopping cart, zipping up and down the aisles, looking deliriously happy. Next shot, his two kids just standing there, completely expressionless. I don't remember what the voice over says exactly, but it's a back-to-school commercial. Cracked me up...and reminded me of my own parents.

[dougie_monty]

That commercial reminds me of a "Dennis the Meance" panel wherein he's about to run away from home again--with the usual teddy bear and belongings tied in a sheet, to a pole he carries on his shoulder. He says to his shocked parents:
"You're always talkin' 'bout the 'good ol' days, when I wasn't here.' well, enjoy yourselves!" :(
The commercial sure shows kids where they stand, doesn't it?

[Satan]

I am biassed, being a sports fan, but sports-themed beer commercials and the ESPN Sportscenter campaign totally float my boat.

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Yer pal,
Satan

[omniscientnot]

My thanks to Misanthrope for reviving the dead :D

[KCB615]

I don't even remember what the commercial was for, but it mainly consisted of a guy sitting at a table, reading the morning paper over breakfast. He's holding the paper with one hand and a coffee in the other. He then decides he wants to check the time, so he turns the wrist with his watch on it towards his face. The arm with the watch just happens to be the one with the coffee, so he dumps the coffee into his lap, looks at the coffee in his lap, then goes back to reading the paper. That one gets me rolling every time I see it.


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Jeremy....

I can think of no more stirring symbol of man's humanity to man than a fire engine - Kurt Vonnegut

[Persephone]

Just saw another one that cracks me up, for Kinko's. The older, big-haired lady receptionist answering the phone. "Heaven." Love the stuff they say in that one:

Caller:"I'm being audited."
Lady: "Oh, I'll put you right through, Senator."

Caller: "SHAAAAAAAARK!"
Lady:"I'll put you right through."

And my personal fave (becasue I know my dad had to have said the same thing...)
Caller: "My daughter is marrying a musician."

[clvn]

Geez!
Did nobody see all of the bud lite commercials in the 80's?

Best one ever:

Starts off with a caveman trekking across the open tundra, carrying something not quite discernable...

Next scene is him arriving back at his clan's camp, and you now see that he has brought FIRE... everybody is gathered around, primitively grunting, when the clan leader walks up, and completely coherently says: "That's great... but we wanted a BUD LITE!!!"... the courier then gets a confused look on his face, like he's thinking: "What an Idiot... I ONLY BROUGHT FIRE!!!"

The closing scene is everybody gathered around the fire, drinking beer, and the leader then says: "Now go get a pizza..." and courier runs off, out of the scene...

...Anybody know where I can get a copy (in any video format) of that one???
plz email me...

[clvn]

BTW, dougie_monty:
re: the hummer commercial...
LIGHTEN UP!
...it's just a commercial...
laugh a little...it's very healthy...

[Gr8Kat]

My favorite commecial these days is the one for Sprite with the executives sitting around discussing the marketing of their new movie, "Death Slug," or something like that.

"What have you got?"
"Giant slug." (Throws green toy slug against the window.) "Leaves a slime trail."
"Great, what else have you got?"
"Slug taco. Put salt on it, and it shrivels up."
"Great, what else have you got?"
"The Slug Slide" (Showing rap video)
"Great, what else have you got?"
"Slug slippers."
"Slug slug."
"Slug on a stick."
"Great, what about the script?"
"Umm... we don't have one yet, but we can pound one out by Friday."
"Great."

I keep thinking the pitches for Wild Wild West, Batman & Robin, The Avengers, and every other blockbuster extravaganza affiliated with a fast food joint and/or with it's own toy line started out like this.

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

[rjk]

I don't know if the sponsor is only Canadian, but the ads are probably widespread. I think everybody has seen the "This is your brain... This is your brain on drugs" ads with the frying egg. A while back I saw a variation that blew me away.

An attractive teenage girl, IIRC, shows the egg and says "This is your brain." She picks up the cast-iron pan, smashes the egg on the counter, and holds up the pan with egg dripping down her wrist. "This is your brain on heroin." (So far I thought it was a little over the top, but OK, fine.) Then she turns to a dish rack full of plates, says "This is your family on heroin", and takes a big two-handed swing with the pan. "And this is ... on heroin" over and over until the whole kitchen is trashed. "Any questions?", as she holds up the pan.

I only saw it a couple of times; maybe the sponsor got too much of a reaction.


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Bob the Random Expert
"If we don't have the answer, we'll make one up."

[DW3]

I like Little Caesar's and Jack in the Box commercials but my two favorites involve Cars. I like the Mustang commercial with Mustang going down a country road and it cuts to inside a house with the lights flickering and static over the TV. An old man puts down his newspaper and looks out the window. The Mustang whizzes by with static electricity sound and lightning around the car a la Back to the Future.

The other one is a beer commercial, I think it was Miller. You hear ZZ top music start to build and hear the most awesome car ever, Cadzilla. That big block with 4bbl carb screams over the rise and the music bursts out louder. Man! I didn't want beer, just that car. (What was that song?)

[dougie_monty]

Sorry, clvn: I live in California where hit-and-run is a criminal offense. (I have been a licensed driver for 30 years and the worst I did was strike a police car. Nobody hurt, thankfully; they didn't even write me a ticket.)
Besides, I am totally insensitive to Schadenfreude. (Look it up.)

[omniscientnot]

rjk: haven't seen it, but I like it! :)