Movie Quotes You Use

This was done on the Original SDMB, but it's been some time and we have many additions to our crazy and dysfuntional family of Dopers. So I thought it time to start it up again.

" You owe me two dollars." - From one of John Cusacks Movies.

When someone asks me how long (the repair or whateve) will take, I respond
." "Two weeks."
From the Money Pit.

I'll add more later..




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Bigamy is having one wife to many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

Actually it's
I want my two dollars.
from Better Off Dead
one of my favorites

My most common quote is one of the following pair:

"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. Its the only way to be sure."

or the short form (much more repeatable):

"I saw we nuke the site from orbit. Only way to be sure."


This is usually said when involving stupid computer problems. At these times, I would very much like to nuke the site from orbit. Often, the "site" is Redmond.

Every morning when I find there is no coffee in the coffee pot i like to say

"Bunch of savages in this town" a la Clerks

I also like

"I'd horsewhip you If I had a horse"
and
"A child of 5 could understand this, now fetch me a child of 5"
from groucho marx (in Duck Soup I believe)

and anytime someone is complaining sayin "i don't want this and I don't want that" I like to say
"I don't want any plastics and I don't want any ground floors"
Jimmy Stewart It's a wonderful life.

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To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

Oh wow... I'm a movie quote junkie, and of course, so are a good majority of my friends, and we just spout random quotes out WHENEVER... some of the favorite ones are:

"You'f been stealing vater... take off your clothes" --Tank Girl

"Bub?" "Nuh, not Bub, BUB!" "Oh BOB!" "Oui BAAAAAB" --French Kiss

"Men are bastards.....do you know him, oh of course you know him, all you bastards know each other -- bastard!" --also from FK

"Oh, I hated the colonel, with his wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face..'Oh you're gonna buy my chicken, ooohh'" --So I Married an Axe Murderer

"I will simply deny you the crown and--LIVE FOREVER!" --Ever After

"The pen is BLUE! The GODDAMN pen is BLUE!!" --Liar Liar

"This is a job for WEENIE-MAN!! Into the Weenie-mobile...WEENIE-MAN AWAY!!" --Mystery Science Theatre 3000 the movie

ETC...

(I have to go watch one MST3K now...)

"What we have here, is failure to communicate!" - from Cool Hand Luke.

"I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that." - 2001

"You can't fight in here! This is the war room!" - Dr. Strangelove

I've been using this lately, since I'm reaching a certain age, mentioned below:

King Arthur: Old woman...
Peasant: Man
KA: Sorry, old man..
P: I'm 37.
KA: What?
P: I'm 37, I'm not old!

Also, since the commercial must have damaged my brain, I've been saying "Do I make you horny?" in the style of Austin Powers. Guess you have to be there (or here).

"What a tah-rah-rah-goon-deay! What a nin-cow-poop! What an ultra-maroon! What an im-bessle!" And so on....

"Tim Stratton, rush chairman, damn glad to meet ya"--Animal House

"You better watch your p's and q's mister"--Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"That's going to leave a mark", "Holy Snikeys"--Tommy Boy

"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges"--Blazing Saddles

"Did we quit when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbour,...hell no"--Animal House

"See your future, be your future, make, make your future", "Be the ball Betty"--Caddyshack

"Open the pod bay doors, Hal"--2001

"Concentrate on what you are doing" Yoda, Empire Strikes Back (I'm a H.S. tennis coach)

"Crying! There's no crying in baseball" Tom Hanks movie w/ women baseball players...Geena Davis, Madonna...?

Between movie quotes and corporate buzzwords, I don't think I say anything else.



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I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!

" No matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai

When asked my name, " Joan Just Joan." from Jewel of the Nile.

"The Doobie Brothers broke up?" Romancing the Stone. (Whenever I heard of another "tragic" breakup of a rock band.)

" I never had any friends since like I did when I was 12. Christ, does anyone?" Stand by me.

" I mean it, sincerely." Stand by me.

" You'll shoot your eye out." Christmas Story. ( whenever some one is trying something new.)

This is, IMHO, one of the best quotes of the last 10 years. When asked if she went to her class reunion, Joan Cusack (Grosse Pointe Blank) replies: " Yeah, everyone looked the same, only bloated."

When asked to spell and prounce my last name, I say, " It's spelled Such and Such, but it's pronounced, Luxury-Yacht." (Monty Pyton)

More later as the mood hits

"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges"--Blazing Saddles

...which Mel Brooks stole from John Houston's "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre".

"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" Monty Python, Life of Brian



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"I think it would be a great idea" Mohandas Ghandi's answer when asked what he thought of Western civilization

Well, it's stupid, but my friends and I (over-thirty, normally intelligent females) make a "W" with our hands and say "whatever!" if we think something is stupid -- that's from Clueless.

"Wanna breed?" "Tempting, but no." -- Willow.

"Are you trying to tell me coconuts migrate?" Monty Python's Holy Grail.

"Yes, yes, say it! He vas my BOYFRIEND!" -- Young Frankenstein.

The Tom Hanks baseball movie, BTW, was A League Of Their Own.

danke.

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I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!

I like to throw the following out non-sequitur style; most of my fellow employees just don't get it...

"You can't let them in here--they'll see the Big Board!"
-Gen. "Buck" Turgeson, "Dr. Strangelove";

"I have one word for you--plastics!"
-"Goodbye Columbus"

"Rommel, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!"
-Geo. C. Scott as "Patton"

"220, 240, whatever it takes"
-electrical advice from Tom Hanks in "Mr. Mom"

"I find your lack of faith disturbing"
-Darth Vader (try saying it into a bucket, or large container)

"I have to go into Tashe Station and pick up some power converters"
-whiny Luke Skywalker (I say this to nosey co-workers asking what I'm doing. No-one has understood the reference yet, or asked to see the power converters.)

"A fella--a quick fella--might have a weapon under there"
-Snake Guy in "Road Warrior"

"Last of the V8 Interceptors!"
-Mechanic Guy in "Road Warrior"

"What a puny plan!"
"There has been too much killing--just walk away!"
-The Humungous ("the Ayatolla of Rock and Rolla") in "Road Warrior"

"They had heavy metal in the First World War, only they called it shrapnel then"
-Alexi Sayle, TV show "Stuff"




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"A friend will help you move house. A best friend will help you move a body."--Alexi Sayle

"I have one word for you--plastics!"
-"Goodbye Columbus"

I always thought this was from "The Graduate".

and

220, 240, whatever it takes"
-electrical advice from Tom Hanks in "Mr. Mom"

...I'm pretty sure this was from Michael Keaton.

Don't you hate nitpickers?

Thanks, Papabear!

I was going to say "The Graduate," but some inner vision of Richard Benjamin being addressed changed my mind!

You're also right about Michael Keaton--well, they did look similar, and it was about 15 years ago!!

Here's a couple of obscure ones: can you name the films?

"If you dare speak to an officer like that again, I shall scream the house down!"

"For God's sake, Barrow, are you a man or a book?"



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"A friend will help you move house. A best friend will help you move a body."--Alexi Sayle

quote:
"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges"--Blazing Saddles

...which Mel Brooks stole from John Houston's "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre".

Of course there is the more obscure "Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!" from Wierd Al's fabulous "VHF". Rent it this weekend if you haven't seen it!

A few others i just thought of:

Whenever my wife is being particularily demanding i like to say:
"Yes Love, whatever love wants love gets"
See Who's afraid of Virginia Woolfe, you'll understand

I also had a Doctor who's last name was Jones and every time I saw him i'd whip out:
"It's a pleasure to see you again Doctor Jones" in an evil type accent a la the Indiana Jones movies

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To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

The only thing we Romans don't have a god for is premature ejaculation. But I hear that's coming quickly!

-- History of the World, Part 1
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Don't get saucy with me, Bernaise.

-- Ibid.
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And of course, with the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth - the critic

-- Ibid, too.
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I must be crazy to be in a looney bin like this.

-- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
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They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot! The next woman takes me on's gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!

-- Ibid.

"Over to you, red leader one." --- The Magic Christian

"I watched from the helicopter while Jim wrestled the python. Watch out Jim!" --- Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom

"Yoiks! And away!" --- Robin Hood Daffy

"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!" --- Duck Dodgers in the 24 1/2th Century

...and, of course...

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." --- Gone With the Wind

quote:

"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges"--Blazing Saddles


...which Mel Brooks stole from John Houston's "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre".

Actually, as any good movie buff will tell you, the original goes
Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!

Right up there with "Play it again, Sam!"

"Nice knockers!" - Young Frankenstein

"You want ice water? Cut up an onion, that'll make your eyes water!" - Duck Soup?

"'Scuse me while I whip this out!" - Blazing Saddles

And, a friend of mine, a 6' 8", 300 lb irish cop, his favorite line in any movie
"Alright, we'll take the niggers and the chinks, but we don't want no irish!" - Blazing Saddles

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"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
Abraham Lincoln

Some people have posted some good quotes, but they don't really tell when they use them (not that that was part of the OP or anything). I just love using quotes to tell someone something specific:

"Luke, why have you switched off your targetting computer?" - Star Wars - said to anyone whenever they are taking matters into their own hands

"You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means." - The Princes Bride - applicable to anyone who has some term/definition screwed up

"You done smoke yourself retarded." - Half-Baked - think this one should be obvious

(more later)

"...like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there!"
Stand and Deliver

I'm drawing a blank on movie quotes, can I use Simpsons' quotes??

Grandpa Simpson: "Dogs wag their tails for hours after they die!"

Grandpa: "If grandpa says the dog is dead, it must be alive!"

Beekeeper #1: "To the bee-mobile!"
Beekeeper #2: "You mean your Chevy?"
Beekeeper #1: "...Yes."

Grandpa: "Death stalks you at every turn... DEATH!"
Lisa: "Grandpa, that's Maggie."
Grandpa: "Oh, you're right. At my age, the mind starts to play tricks on you...DEATH!"
Lisa: "Grandpa, that's the cat."
Grandpa: "Oh... DEATH!"
Lisa: "That's Maggie again."

Homer: "Less artsy, more fartsy!"

And from Ralphie Wiggums:
My cat's name is Mittens.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Hi, Lisa, we're going to be a pie!
Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!
When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!
I bent my Wookie.
The doctor says I wouldn't get so many nosebleeds if I just keep my finger out of there.

Oh, can I do Blackadder, too?

Captain Blackadder, from Blackadder Goes Forth: "While I, on the other hand, being a well-rounded individual, have received a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and 3 gold stars from the kindergarten of getting the shit kicked out of me." My all time favorite :)

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
--Inigo Montoya, from The Princess Bride.

"Have Fun. Stay Single."
--from Singles.

"I was just nowhere near your neighborhood."
--ibid.

"You know, in a parallel universe, we're probably a scorching couple."
--ibid. (what does that stand for, anyway?)

"You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!"
--from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

"Dodge THIS!"
--from The Matrix.

I'm sure there are more, and I'm sure this thread will still be here when I think of them.

From "Army of Darkness":
"Groovy!"
"You ain't leading nothing now but Jack and shit. And Jack left town."

From "Billy Madison":
"If peeing your pants is cool, just call me Miles Davis."

Some people have posted some good quotes, but they don't really tell when they use them (not that that was part of the OP or anything).

OK...

"Over to you, red leader one." --- The Magic Christian
(Whenever I hand off a project or problem to another of our analysts.)

"I watched from the helicopter while Jim wrestled the python. Watch out Jim!" --- Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom
(While watching someone else struggle with a problem in lieu of actually doing anything helpful)

"Yoiks! And away!" --- Robin Hood Daffy
(When kicking off the latest run of a program that I have just compiled for the 18th time and expecting to hit problem number 19)

"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!" --- Duck Dodgers in the 24 1/2th Century
(When said program doesn't blow up on the 19th run.)

...and, of course...
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." --- Gone With the Wind
(All the time...)

Ahh i'm at home now so I can think of more by looking at my movie boxes

"Direct descendant of God? You just want to slip her the pork!"
-Forbidden Zone

"The queen said she was gonna ream us out with 18 inch cattle prods and I'm still waiting!"
-Forbidden Zone

"Your buns smell like lox honey i can smell em from here"
- Forbidden Zone

"Sometimes life is painful
Pain makes man think
Thinking makes man wise
Wisdom makes life bearable"
- Teahouse of the August Moon

<groucho Marx reaching into his pocket to tip a bellboy> "Do you have change for a 10?"
Bellboy "Yes sir!"
Groucho "Then you won't need this nickle I was going to give you."
- A night at the opera

just a few more for the list... maybe I will add more later

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To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

"I will simply deny you the crown and--LIVE FOREVER!" --Ever After

Stolen from The Lion in Winter, BTW. I can't find the original, just flipping through it, but I believe it is "Let's deny them both and live forever." It's said by Eleanor to Henry. They have been arguing about whether John (Henry's choice) or Richard (Eleanor's choice) will inherit the throne.

I don't quote too many films-- but The Lion in Winter-- I love to toss off "It's 1183, and we're barbarians." OK, no one gets it, and I look weird. Sue me.


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--Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny

"Crying! There's no crying in baseball" Tom Hanks movie w/ women baseball players...Geena Davis, Madonna...?

My vet's favorite movie. A League of Their Own. When it first came out, I could never get it right. I kept calling it A League of One's Own....


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--Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny

"We can't stop here! This is bat country!" Used when in a bad part of the nation (so it's a book quote, so sue me).



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"If A=B, B=C, and C=D, do not get a job proofreading" --Quid's Theorem

"Now I'll never be a teen model!" --The Brady Bunch Movie (after suffering some personal injury)

"Do you like the Wizard of Oz?" --Christmas Story (in forced get-to-know-ya situations)

"Want to touch the hiney!" --Billy Madison (when viewing an attractive woman)

"I claim this swamp in the name of Poland" --The Ninth Configuration (when marking territory)

"Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet." --Ferris Bueller's Day Off (when viewing the city from my rooftop)

"My nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect!" --Weird Science (when driving too fast)

"Get me a chunky." --Throw Momma from the Train (when someone's going somewhere)

"When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people die!" --Austin Powers (when I get angry...)



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"Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet."

Drain, ibid. is short for ibidem, which is Latin for "in the same place." The other commonly used phrase is op. cit., short for operr citato ("in the work cited").

Shirly, considering your name, I can't believe you didn't mention the most obivious quote of all:

"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."

Oh, well, if we're going to do Blackadder quotes:
They do say, Mrs Miggins, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain, they are of course wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head.

You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Lots of it about and I never seem to get any.

I'm as happy as a Frenchman who has just invented a pair of self removing trousers!

"...like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there!"
Stand and Deliver--when observing someone who's groping for the obvious.

Grandpa Simpson: "Dogs wag their tails for hours after they die!" Just a good non-sequitor I like to toss out.

Grandpa: "If grandpa says the dog is dead, it must be alive!" Some days it just seems like you're never right...

Beekeeper #1: "To the bee-mobile!"
Beekeeper #2: "You mean your Chevy?"
Beekeeper #1: "...Yes." This one is fun on your way out to the car if someone will do the Beekeeper #2 line for you.

Grandpa: "Death stalks you at every turn... DEATH!"
Lisa: "Grandpa, that's Maggie."
Grandpa: "Oh, you're right. At my age, the mind starts to play tricks on you...DEATH!"
Lisa: "Grandpa, that's the cat."
Grandpa: "Oh... DEATH!"
Lisa: "That's Maggie again." -- My sister and I used to love to do multiple part quotes, one of us would just utter a line at random and the other would run with it, but we've fallen out of the habit since we haven't lived under the same roof in about 4 years. Even then, we didn't do the DEATH! one line for line, we'd usually just point to random objects and screech DEATH! for no apparent reason. It's always fun to point at housepets and shriek DEATH! because, a.) you look like an idiot for being scared of your own dog, and 2.) pointing and shrieking at them excites them :) I don't do multiple part quotes with my husband, though, because he never gets it.

One from Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, that I've attempted to train my husband to do when we part for work each morning:
Ben: "I bid you adieu."
Dr. Katz: "I'll see that 'dieu' and raise you a toodle-loo." -- As I said, he doesn't get it.

Homer: "Less artsy, more fartsy!" When impatient.

And from Ralphie Wiggums (these are all good non-sequitors):
My cat's name is Mittens.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Hi, Lisa, we're going to be a pie!
Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!
When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!
I bent my Wookie.
The doctor says I wouldn't get so many nosebleeds if I just keep my finger out of there.

And, of course, this is perfect when it's necessary to demonstrate that there's more to education than fancy-schmancy book learnin' (except I can never get through it without ruining it by giggling):

Captain Blackadder, from Blackadder Goes Forth: "While I, on the other hand, being a well-rounded individual, have received a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and 3 gold stars from the kindergarten of getting the shit kicked out of me."

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

my sister and I are movie line junkies, and often play off each others references (which makes for great looks in public!)

"Were you out on the lake today kissing your brain?"- The Man With Two Brains- used when inquiring of each others whereabouts

"He'll keep calling, and calling...OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go"- Ferris B. Day Off - our usual answering maching message for each other.

"Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!"- Vegas Vacation- used when discussing a casino trip

"Oooohhh..big bet, for a big man!"- also Vegas Vacation- used loudsy by my sister when I'm playing a higher stakes game

"I shagged her rotton baby, yeah!"- Austin Powers- used by my husband when discussing our decision to start a family..
More to come..
Zette


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"Were you out on the lake today kissing your brain?"- The Man with Two Brains

"Asps. Very dangerous. You go first."
Raiders of the lost Ark. ( Whenever I am trying to get out of going first.)

" I stick my neck out for no one." Humphrey Bogart...Casablanca?

" I don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' babies, Miss Scarlet!" GWTW - (Whenever the question falls to me if I know how to fix something or do something of which I haven't a clue of how to do it.)

More later...please stand by....

With two Ferris Bueller quotes, I'm suprised that I didn't see Ben Stein's:
"Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?"

Seems like everyone uses that one :)

"We can't stop here! This is bat country!" Used when in a bad part of the nation (so it's a book quote, so sue me). -- TMR
I love that quote. :) They made it into a movie, so you are in the clear.

"Where are we going?"
"Planet 10!"
"When are we going?"
"Real soon!" -- Buckaroo Bonzai

John: My God, if I went up in flames, there's not a living soul who'd pee on me to put the fire out!
Richard: Let's strike a flint and see.

"The Lion in Winter"
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I carry twenty-three great wounds all got in battle. Seventy-five men
have I killed with my own hands in battle. I scatter, I burn my enemies' tents. I take away their flocks and herds. The Turks pay me a golden tresure, yet I am poor! Because *I* am a river to my people!

Auda Abu Tayi, "Lawrence of Arabia"
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[In jail]
Susan Vance: Anyway, David, when they find out who we are they'll let us out.
David Huxley: When they find out who *you* are they'll pad the cell.

"Bringing Up Baby"
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Max: War, murder, death -- all the same to you as bottles of beer, and the daily business of life is a corrupt comedy. You even shatter the sensation of time and space into split seconds, instant replays. You're madness, Diana. Virile madness, and everything you touch dies with you. But not me. Not as long as I can feel pleasure and pain... and love.

"Network"
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More later...


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Tim
"My hovercraft is full of eels."

Rodd, "If you dare speak to an officer like that again, I shall scream the house down!" sounds like Privates On Parade to me, do I get the prize?

My favourite quote, used pretty much anywhere, is "Oh yes, its a very nice" with a French accent, from the Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail.

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It only hurts when I laugh.

My three favorite Holy Grail quotes that I do work into conversation whenever appropriate (or inappropriate, whichever is funnier):

"It's just a flesh wound!"
"I'm not dead yet!"
"I fart in your general direction!"

I just thought of another quote that I use on my husband whenever he's dumb enough to suggest I rise and shine:
"I'll rise, but I damn well won't shine," spoken by John Malkovich in The Glass Menagerie.

Another of Malkovich's lines from that movie that I've used to describe Ichabod Crane-looking guys (though I can't remember exactly how it's phrased):
"What he lacks in a chin, he makes up for in a nose."

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

Congrats, Moonshine! You have won my undying admiration (that and $1.50 will buy a cup of coffee).

"Privates" is one of my favorite obscure movies. Every old British Army joke, a few songs, and lots of profanity. All in all, a good night out. And how about that John Cleese singing bit over the final credits?!?

I also quote Professor Lizardo (Buckaroo Banzai):

"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy!"

and Oddball (Kelly's Heroes):

"Always with the negative waves, Moriarity."

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"A friend will help you move house. A best friend will help you move a body."--Alexi Sayle

Ok, fine... I can't help it. I hafta join in on the Blackadder quotes!

The "toasting fork" quote was my sig for awhile on the AOL board. :)

M: Grey, I suspect Majesty.
Q: I think you'll find it was orange Lord Melchett.
M: Grey is more usual mam.
Q: Who's queen ?
M: As you say Majesty, there were these magnificent orange elephants which were coming.....
-- Black Adder II "Head"

"Who knows, or dares to dream!" -- Percey in Black Adder II "Money"

"Disease and depravation stalk our land like.. two giant.. stalking things." -- Black Adder III "Sense and Senility"

Obscure quotes? That's an idea too.

Who can guess this one?

"I suggest we kill it quickly before it tries to make friends with us!"

Not a movie quote, but while in university back in the '80s, I used to play "Risk", and if anyone was too slow or indecisive about moving troops, one of us would quote Bugs Bunny:

"Pssst, Nappy! Put the artillery over here!"

Not really a movie, but sorta --

My favorite line from "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is when this barbarian guy dramatically draws his sword and holds it up and the light is reflecting off it and the "commentator" goes -- "It's a letter opener; I made it in shop class." This is what I habitually say to anyone who asks "what's that?" No one ever gets the reference, and without the reference it's pretty much a non-sequitir.

Ooh, and I love the line in "Fools Rush In" where Matthew Perry's character is carrying a big stuffed swordfish through his office and some guy asks, "what's that?" "It's a keychain."

When I explain something to someone, and they still don't understand:
"and get some 30 weight ball bearings; hell, it's all ball bearings these days" -Fletch

actually, there are many from Fletch I and II
Did she feel ok last night?
Well, she felt pretty good to me

and my favorite "What's your job, Fletch?"
"I'm a shepherd"

plus about anything Yoda ever said

"You call him Dr. Jones." --Temple of Doom
When someone gets someone else's name wrong.

"My *name* is *Muerte*!" --Undercover Blues
When someone gets *your* name wrong.

"Two dollars!" --Better Off Dead (not the whole sentence, just the freaky way the kid says "Two dollars.")
When speaking of money owed.

"It's great to be young and insane." --The Dream Team
Whenever appropriate

"I love it when a plan comes together." Tyhe A Team (TV)
Whenever appropriate

"Laugh it up, fuzzball."
"Great, Chewy, great. Always thinking with your stomach."
"Will someone get this walking carpet out of my way."
"Let the wookie win."
And various other Chewbacca-related quotes.

"Group hug, group hug. Mind if I kiss the monkey? Ach, hairball." --Aladdin

"You know who that was? Clint Eastwood." --Crocodile Dundee II

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"We're gonna have lawyers here. It'll be a fun time."
--R.R.S.

"A flute with no holes is not a flute...a donut without a hole is a danish....."

---Caddyshack

always good when teaching computer skills...especially if you add the Kung Fu sounds...

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+++++++++++
shiner bock

"When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not, hmmm?" -- Yoda

I don't remember what movie this is from, but I have used this on occasion whenever I'm in the mood to insult somebody (usually for something they did or said that was just completely stupid)

"Did your parents have any children that lived?"

There are others, but they've already been mentioned above (namely, the "Where's my two dollars?" and "It's just a flesh wound")

Shadowfox

"Did your parents have any children that lived?"

Great, Shadow, I can picture that scene in my head and cannot see the characters...it's gonna bother me until someone puts us out of our misery.

" Just when I think I'm out, they keep pulling me back in. " Godfather 3.

Virtually any quote from the Godfather...
"It's not personal, it's business."
"I made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

From the Untouchables: For every one of ours they take out, we take out two of theirs. (used when discussing some kind of stragety when playing sports.)

UDD suggests:
Obscure quotes? That's an idea too.
Who can guess this one?

"I suggest we kill it quickly before it tries to make friends with us!"

Every White House intern since Lewinsky?



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The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

The Wizard of OZ contains a plethora of useable quotes:

"Lions and tigers and bears, oh, my!" Said when walking near anything resembling a wooded area

"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!" Various uses

"I'll get you, girlie, and your little dog, too!" When plotting revenge

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto" When the situation changes

"Ding, dong the witch is dead!" Anytime

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home" During a bad day at work

And manny, manny more!

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The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

When anyone asks "What do you want" (or MST-ing Babylon 5):

(Ren voice) "I want a meeelion dollars and(heh..heh..) huuuge pectoral muscles."

From "Ren and Stimpy" (which has some good lines, but strangely enough, isn't as funny as it was when I was 15. )

If we're including quotes from t.v shows...

Star Trek: "I'm a doctor, not a janitor" (or a plumber or a pool guy or whatever, depends on the situation).

Shadowfox

"I'm not even supposed to BE here today!!" from Clerks. I say this whenever I am at my wit's end over something, whether I was supposed to be "here" or not.

Almost any line from The Breakfast Club, in various situations.

"Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know cause I won't eat the filthy mother fucker." From Pulp Fiction, when I don't want to try a new food. There are lots of good lines from Pulp Fiction.

What a cool thread!

Shirley & Shadow, "Did your mother ever have any kids that lived?" is from "Stand By Me."

Some of my favorites:

"Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn!" --Better Off Dead
(used when giving directions)

"Where...is...my...automobile?" --Sixteen Candles (when trying to remember where I parked--if my sister's with me, she'll do the next line: "Au-to-mo-bile?")

"Run away! Run away!" --Monty Python and the Holy Grail (used in any situation that turns unpleasant)

My sister's fiance is an excellent movie-quoter. When I helped them move into a new apartment last summer, their cat was totally freaked out and managed to wedge herself behind the entertainment center. Scott's response upon seeing this was, "Mav, we got a problem here. That MiG really messed him up."

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto" When the situation changes

I thought it was "Gosh, Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore!"

This always cracks me up, because back in college, I had a friend from Toto, Indiana. It's a real place. She had a dog named Kansas. I thought that was really, really clever, until one day I told her so, and she looked at me blankly.

So I said, "You take her on out-of-town trips, right? And then say 'Gosh, Kansas, I have a feeling we're not in Toto anymore.'"

She continued to look at me blankly.

And I had a feeling I wasn't in Kansas anymore.


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------------
--Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny

"I'm not going to hurt you, Wendy. I'm just going to bash your fucking brains out. --Jack Nicholson, The Shining

Also, from same flick - "How'dyuh like it?" (After she sees he has been typing "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" for six weeks).

The most famous film quote of all time, drum roll, is: "Bond, James Bond"

"Vodka martini! Shaken! Not stirred!"

"I suggest we kill it quickly before it tries to make friends with us!" Withnail and I? Ranks up there with "We want fine wines, we want the finest wines known to humanity, we want them here and we want them now." and the very creepy "I'm preparing myself to forgive you", both from the same film.

------------------
It only hurts when I laugh.

I haven't had the opportunity to use this Blackadder quote yet, but I live for the day when the opportunity presents itself.

"Baldric, eternity with Beelzebub himself and all his minions will seem like a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil."

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Cave Diem! Carpe Canem!

You talking to me? You must be talking to me cuz there's no body else here. Taxi Driver? (Whenever I can)

What do you mean you don't tip you cheap bastard throw a dollar on the table. Reservoir Dogs ( When some cheap fuck tries to stiff the waitress, undertips, or just about any time I can get away with it.)

You belong to me. The Sea Witch in Little Mermaid. (Whenever I do a favor for someone.)

Vivir con miedo es vivir a medias. [A life lived in fear is a life half lived.] Strictly ballroom. (Said out loud either to myself or other people when scared to try something new.)

Listen to the rythm. Strictly Ballroom
(Said with a very bad Spanish accent when trying to teach someone to dance.)

Bow to her. Bow to the Queen. The Princess Bride (When referring to my friend who sometimes has a way of barking orders.)

Really fast does not mean warp speed. The Lost Boys. (Whenever someone is driving ridiculously fast.)

Bitch, I hate that bitch. Southpark, ok so it's not a movie. (When I see someone I am not particularly fond of)

more to follow... as I use them and remember to post.

Great thread!

Whenever my wife and I have to choose between one thing or another, the conversation always seems to degenerate into:
"The pond... or the pool... the pond would be good for you." (Caddyshack)

When someone exhibits ridiculous wishful thinking, I can't help but say:
"..And maybe I've got a milkbone" (Ghostbusters)

And when someone screws up, I always say:
"What did you DO, Ray?" (Ghostbusters, again)

When someone asks me how I want my food prepared:
"Mashed together in a bucket... with the eggs on top.... and don't skimp on the pate!" (Monty Python's Meaning of Life)

And when getting ready for a long trip:
"It's 110 miles to Chicago; we've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it!" (The Blues Brothers)

Not to mention:

"Who wants an Orange Whip? Orange whip? Orange whip?" (IBID)

"Oh, we've got both kinds. Country and Western" (IBID)

"We're on a mission from God" (IBID)

We are the wierdos mister. The Craft. (When ever warned to watch out for wierdos.)

I could eat a peach for hours. Face Off
(Before taking the first bite.)

Are you threatening me? Beavis as Cornholio
(When it makes the least sense. It's funnier that way.)

Danger, I laugh in the face of danger. The Lion King. (Usually once I have started doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous.)

What we have here is a failure to communicate. ??? (When someone has no clue what I am talking about.)

I stole the baby! I stole the baby from the stupid diakini! sp? Willow. (Usually the first time I hold a new baby.)

You're not trying to ignore me are you?
Fatal Attraction. (If I have played phone tag for a while. This is one of the messages I may leave on the machine.)

Ruuuuuunnnnn Foooorrrreeeesssstttttt!
Forest Gump. (Whenever I have to tell someont to run.)

You cannot kill me! I am the daughter of Satan!!! Daughters of Satan (A really bad B-movie I saw in high school. A phrase I use when playing video games.)

Hey man, am I driving ok?
Yo man, I think we are parked!
Cheech & Chong Up in Smoke
(When driver makes a really stupid mistake.)

We are the wierdos mister. The Craft. (When ever warned to watch out for wierdos.)

I could eat a peach for hours. Face Off
(Before taking the first bite.)

Are you threatening me? Beavis as Cornholio
(When it makes the least sense. It's funnier that way.)

Danger, I laugh in the face of danger. The Lion King. (Usually once I have started doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous.)

What we have here is a failure to communicate. ??? (When someone has no clue what I am talking about.)

I stole the baby! I stole the baby from the stupid diakini! sp? Willow. (Usually the first time I hold a new baby.)

You're not trying to ignore me are you?
Fatal Attraction. (If I have played phone tag for a while. This is one of the messages I may leave on the machine.)

Ruuuuuunnnnn Foooorrrreeeesssstttttt!
Forest Gump. (Whenever I have to tell someont to run.)

You cannot kill me! I am the daughter of Satan!!! Daughters of Satan (A really bad B-movie I saw in high school. A phrase I use when playing video games.)

Hey man, am I driving ok?
Yo man, I think we are parked!
Cheech & Chong Up in Smoke
(When driver makes a really stupid mistake.)

What we have here is a failure to communicate. ???

Cool Hand Luke, I think.

"Round up all the usual suspects..."
(Casablanca)

"Awwww...have I interuppted Happy Time?" (Tommy Boy)

"Vaughn's first pitch...juuuuuust a little outside.." (Major League)

"CHARLIE DON'T SURF!!!!"
(Apocalypse Now)

"OK, who stepped in the dinosaur shit?"
(Jurassic Park)

.....ok, I made that one up, but it could've happened

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"...send lawyers, guns, and money..."

Warren Zevon

Adding to my earlier post...

"Into the mud, scum queen!" --Man with Two Brains (when pushing a scum queen into the mud)

"Oh Bob, this is awful!" --Down By Law (when eating bad food)

"Hey buddy, did you just see a BRIIIIIGHT LIIIIIGHT?" --Terminator (when something sudden happens)

"WE are the music makers, and WE are the dreamers of the dreams" --Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (when someone lets logic get in the way of a good time)

"I haven't seen such a beautiful bubble since I was a child!" --An old WB animated short subject, cartoon Peter Lorre admiring a striptease.(Appropriate for all occasions)

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"Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet."

"Cause I'm a blonde, B-L-O-N-D" In Earth Girls are easy, actually from a song by Julie Brown. Used after a blonde joke, or when I've had a more than usual blonde moment (and yes, I'm a blonde)

It's dead, Jim - Star Trek, of course. Whenever something has failed.

I don't usually pick up lines from movies, but I've had a lot of friends who do, then I pick up the line from them. This thread is making me misty-eyed, remembering all of my friends.

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Mastery is not perfection but a journey, and the true master must be willing to try and fail and try again

Another Simpsons quote...

I call my husband my Homey; not that's he's as stupid as Homer, but... well... um... anyhoo, once we walked into a store that features lots of expensive pointless little doo-dads and dust collectors, and the item that he instantly fell in love was a clock or paperweight or something with a little plastic "aquarium" and little plastic fake fish bobbing around in it. The neat thing was, the fish had magnets or weights or something in them that caused them to bob along the bottom in the gravel and along the sides of the tank kinda like a real fish does, and their little tails moved back and forth to give the illusion of swimming.

I thought they were cute, but my husband was enthralled, and he said, in the most awed voice I've ever heard, "That is the most incredible thing I've ever seen!" I couldn't help myself. I blurted out, trying to sound equally awed, "The bird is drinking the water!" A reference to the Simpsons episode where Homer's brother Herb tries to give the family a presentation for his idea of a baby translator, but Homer is more interested in Herb's little bobbing dunking bird toy. "It's drinking the water!"

So "The bird is drinking the water!" has become my code phrase for, "Ok, it's neat, but take it down a notch or two, ok?" Ain't I mean?

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

It was, "I'm a blonde, B-L-A-N-D," wasn't it? If not, it should have been. Also the "It's only a flesh wound," line is from The Producers. I don't remember it from The Holy Grail, but even if it was there, it was in The Producers first.

Other good lines from The Producers:

"I'm wearing a cardboard belt!" (Anytime I'm feeling broke.)
"I'm in pain, I'm wet, and I'm still hysterical!" (When things get overwhelming.)
"I fell on my keys." (After doing something clumsy.)
"Don't help me." (When someone's "help" is actually making your situation worse.)

And of course the unforgettable song:

When it's springtime for Hitler and Germany,
It's winter for Poland and France!
...

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That's the way that it is on this bitch of an earth."
-- Pozzo, Waiting For Godot

"He's only MOSTLY dead." --The Princess Bride (used to describe most of my plants)

"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" --Homer Simpson (used when I figure something out)

Whenever my boyfriend and I make soup, one or both of us always says "No soup for you!" like the Soup Nazi from "Seinfeld."

"I enjoy pushing lawn-mowing machine so Grandpa's hyena don't get disturbed." --Sixteen Candles (when I'm getting ready to mow the lawn)

The "It's only a flesh wound" line was used in Holy Grail early on when King Arthur is battling the Black Knight. Despite losing all of his limbs, the Knight keeps egging Arthur on, all the while insisting he isn't really hurt.

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

Good Heavens, Greg Charles! You need to watch Holy Grail again! Pay attention to the scene with King Arthur fighting the Black Knight.

Almost any line from a Lethal Weapon movie.

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"We're gonna have lawyers here. It'll be a fun time."
--R.R.S.

Dammit, Janet!
(My curse of choice.)

How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So. . . dominant.
(Anytime my boyfriend takes charge ;)

I don't care where you come as long as you clean it up. I don't care if you clean it up as long as you come!
(Anytime at all!)

-- All from RHPS

Men are rats. Worse than that they're fleas on rats. They're ameobas on fleas on rats. They're too low for even the dogs to bite. The only man a girl can trust is her daddy.
-- Grease
(When men act like rats; or, all the friggin' time!)

Hi! I'm Larry!
-- Pinky & the Brain
(Referring to my friend Gaelle from St. Lary, France. I'm Pinky & Livia is the Brain.)

I'm so glad you came back tonight. . . I have to grow up tomorrow.
-- Peter Pan
(I've only said that once, when a guy told me that if he was Peter Pan, I'd be his happy thought.)

No sex now, eating.
-- Stolen and paraphrased from The Simpsons
(When do you think I'd say that?)

Are you worried about male pattern baldness?
-- Home Improvement
(One of the more common quotes cited in a game my friends play. You pick the most obscure line from a recent tv show you can think of and see who catches on.)

I know where we can get some great blueberry pie.



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The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau

Oh, I'm loving this thread! You guys had me laughing the whole way through!

"You silly Eeenglish pig-dog" (w/fake French accent The Holy Grail

"Your father was a hamster and your mother smells of elderberries" ibid.

"Do you mind if I ass-k you some questions?"
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

"Do NOT go in there!!" ibid (you have to wave your arms around with this one, like your dispelling a foul odor)

Most of these should be self-explanatory.

Hey Guy, love the Bugs Bunny quotes!
Jodih, my husband and I have just gotten into MST3000! They are such a hoot! My husband, Mr. Reserved-and-Quiet, laughs himself silly watching it!

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Carpe Diem!

When someone asks something like, "Who would do that?" I say, "Mr. T" (From "16 Candles" Molly Ringwald's little sister says, "Who would marry her?" and the bratty brother says, "Mr. T")

"What do we got that's good?" (Apollo 13) When someone is complaining about multiple ailments or problems

If I'm writing a check and someone else looking over my shoulder, I will say, "Pay...to the order of...IronBalls McGinty...one dollar and NINE CENTS!!!" (The Jerk)

"NOBODY sleeps naked in this house!!" (Raising Arizona) Whenever anyone says the word "naked"

"WE are the music makers, and WE are the dreamers of the dreams" --Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (when someone lets logic get in the way of a good time)

That quote was borrowed from Arthur O'Shaughnessy's "Ode." Two other quotes from the film:

"Where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?"

"So shines a good deed in a weary world."

are from Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice."
Thank you IMDB.

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Tim
"My hovercraft is full of eels."

I just watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles last night and realized that one quote I use comes from that movie (obviously, I use it whenever anyone describes me as "unique"): "What's 'unique'? Latin for 'asshole'?"

My sister uses another line from that movie, obviously whenever anyone takes something of hers without asking: "You STOLE it! He STOLE it!" Of course this is accompanied by much finger pointing and arm waving.

And, in an uncomfortable situation: "How about those Bears?" "Hell of a game, hell of a game!"

Lots of fun lines from that movie :)

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

And whenever one of my co-workers gets made and lets out an impassioned, "Dammit!", I'm usually quick to add, "Janet!" :)

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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

When someone is ranting at me I return with the line the Washington bureaucrat used when Bugs Bunny was bawling him out: "STOP STEAMING UP MY GLASSES!"

Whenever I'm being introduced to someone I'll never have to talk to again I borrow this Elmer Fudd line: "Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht."

Here are some quotes I use all of the time, can you tell I'm a movie junkie. Most of these have been mentioned already, but there are some new ones too.

"It's got raisins in it, You like raisins."
Better Off Dead-one of the best movies ever made-IMHO
Used when someone asks what is in something.

"Laugh it up furball!"
I really don't think I need to tell any of you where this one is from
Whenever anyone laughs at you, not with you.

"Here's something for the ole sweettooth sunny!"
The 'Burbs-only the greatest movie ever made-IMHO
Used whenever I give anything to my brother, who also LOVES this flick.

"'Bout a 10 on the tension scale there Reub!"
The 'Burbs
Used whenever anyone gets a little too tense

"Tempting...but no"
Willow
Whenever I'm offered anything I wouldn't possibly ever want or use.

"Run away, run away!"
Monte Python's Holy Grail
Whenever I come across a situation I don't want to deal with.

"I was born a poor, black man."
The Jerk
When I am asked to tell a little bit about myself, at stupid mixers and parties, at intro time.

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
Clerks
Anytime I feel like is applicable.

"Bunch of savages in this town!"
Clerks
Use this one constantly at work.

"No time for love Dr. Jones"
Indiana Jones and also Clerks-both are great movies.IMHO
I use this when somone is clearly trying to be rude and piss me off.

That's about all I can think of for now!

Withnail and I? -- Moonshine
Yessir! That was what I was thinking of. :)

Amazing that just about any fact is known by someone here. :)

Yes, that movie is extremely quotable.

"Don't attempt anything without the gloves"

And the spiel by the dealer about hair being cosmic antennae was great...

"This was no BOATING ACCIDENT!" -Richard Dreyfus in 'Jaws'.

Nitpicking:

I believe it's "It's a mere flesh wound" in a heavy brit accent.

Homer: But Marge everytime I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I took that home wine making class? ...and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: Homer, you were drunk!
Homer: And how!

"Eeeeexxcelent", tapping finger tips and speaking in a dasterdly tone, ala Mr Burns.

Vincent Vega in Pulp fiction: "Don't be rude, drink your drink, but do it quickly." Anytime the situation gets a bit tense.

"My mom and dad are gonna be really mad" ala Matthew Lillards character in Scream, spoken as he's bleeding to death after a killing spree.

"I'm not a smart man, but i know what _____ is" ala Forrest Gump.

"So I sucked a few dicks...
A few?" Clerks.

"I'm leaving!
Don't suck any dicks on the way out!" Clerks

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The facts expressed here belong to everybody, the opinions to me. The distinction is
yours to draw...

Omniscient; BAG

Good Heavens, Greg Charles! You need to watch Holy Grail again! Pay attention to the scene with King Arthur fighting the Black Knight.

Oh, yeah, now I remember. Still The Holy Grail was released in 1975, so credit for "It's only a flesh wound," still goes to The Producers (1968).

BTW, we're all friends here. You can call me Greg!

From Goodfellas: "Wuh, uh, Spider, Spider..." when someone is umming and ahhing and not getting to the point.

From Holy Grail: "It's not a question of where 'e *grips* it!" when someone has a cockeyed plan that they insist will work if you just do it *their* way.

From Planes, Trains and Automobiles: "What do you think the temperature is?"
(ruminative pause) "One?"

From Apocalypse Now: "Don't get off the boat. Don't get off the fuckin' boat!" when someone has to drive through a bad part of town.

From True Romance: "Wanna see Spiderman number one?" when it's crunch time on a first date.



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Remember, I'm pulling for you; we're all in this together.
---Red Green

"That was falling ... with STYLE!" - Toy Story

"Sorry about your mom blowing up, Ricky." - Better off Dead

"Somebody get me a BUCKET!" - Meaning of Life

"You DICK!" - Fast times at Ridgemont High (Spicoli, I think)

"Into the mud, ScumQueen!" - The Man with Two Brains

This one (from 48 hours) requires two people who know the lines:
"Jack, tell me a bedtime story."
"F*** off."
"Oh, that's my favorite one."

Well, duh, I forget my favorite one. From Midnight Run, Robert Deniro to Charles Grodin:

"Yeah, so here's two words for you: [i]shut the fuck up![/]"

"My cat can eat a whooooole watermelon!"
-Reubin and Ed (whenever anyone asks me to tell them something no one knows about me)

"I am the King of the Echo People"
-Reubin and Ed (When people ask what i do for a living)

"He was a good cat"
-Reubin and Ed (whenever someone asks what kind of animal something was)

"I better go get him or he'll get bitten by an irradiated scorpion and fall down an abandoned mine shaft"
- Reubin and Ed (whenever someone is late or I need to go pick somone up for something)

"You know the difference between you and a rich man? He has money and you don't!"
-Reubin and Ed (Whenever someone asks me an obvios question).

------------------
To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

"And two hard-boiled eggs." From the stateroom sceene of "A Night At the Opera". Used whenever someone lists a whole bunch of things.


"Janet! Brad! Rocky! Ungh!" Rocky Horror - used whenever more than two people are listed off.

"1 - 2 - 5!"
"Three, Sir!"
"Three!" - Holy Grail


"She's got HUGE ..... tracts of lands!" - ibid. Situation obvious.

Or, from Monty Python on TV,
"Oh, intercourse the bloody penguin!" from the Penguin on the Tele skit. Rather than saying "Oh, fuck it!"


(crowd) "Yes, we are all different"
(individual)"I'm not". - from Life of Brian - whenever I see a whole bunch of people all doing the same thing


------------------
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Dan Quayle

From "Ghostbusters 2" (in bad Czech accent):

"Everything you're doing is bad. I want you to know this."

From "The Producers" (in bad German accent):

"Zis is not working. I am not killing you."

From "Repo Man":

"No Commies in my car. And no Christians, neither!"
"Plate...shrimp...plate of shrimp"
"Everybody could stand 50 chest x-rays a year. They oughta have 'em too."

------------------
"A friend will help you move house. A best friend will help you move a body."--Alexi Sayle

(crowd) "Yes, we are all different"
(individual)"I'm not". - from Life of Brian - whenever I see a whole bunch of people all doing the same thing -- PTVroman
This is my favourite example of comedic irony in the whole world. It gets me every time! I sometimes wonder how many people really get it.

" He must have called the umpire a cocksucker." Bull Durham. (Whenever I see a player get thrown out of a game.)

" I've got the lucky ticket." Willie Wonka
(Whenever I buy a lottery ticket.)

"He ate the left side of the menu.." Diner.
Whenever a friend eats too much.


"Just say the words, Modell, I want your sandwich." Diner. When someone keeps beating around the bush and won't ask a direct question of " Can I have some of your sandwich.."


"Whatja do , wake up today and say " Today I'm gonna ruin some man's life?"
Romancing the Stone. (Whenever things are not going my way.)

My favorite line in MST is when a very young Clint Eastwood has a walk thru part in a laboratory scene. All of five or six seconds on screen. One of the MST crew cracks something like, " He'll never make it in this town. You punk."

------------------
WE are all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps.

How can I forget this one?

"Oh Piss Boy!" from one of Mel Brooks' movies. (Whenever I need to get the attention of a friend)

Good movies to quote from:

Evil Dead 2
Army of Darkness

From one of my favorite guy movies, "Hombre" ;

"Mister, you got a lotta hard bark on you."

also,

(with a Spanish accent)

"Hey Hombre!
You have put a hole in me!"

My 10-year old son has started using: "We should've shot that boy a long time ago." - from 'Giant'

Another goodie;

From "48 Hours;"

"I'm so horny that my dick gets hard when the wind blows."

------------------

Still more.

From "Scent of a Woman"

"God's a funny guy."

From Goodfellas: "Wuh, uh, Spider, Spider..." when someone is umming and ahhing and not getting to the point.

Totally and completely Off Topic: we just call them "Jonathan Demme".

------------------
"We're gonna have lawyers here. It'll be a fun time."
--R.R.S.

Not strictly speaking a film but good nevertheless: "I ain't getting in no 'plane, fool." The A-Team.

------------------
It only hurts when I laugh.

Maybe you guys can help me -- There's a really early Val Kilmer film where he plays some scientific boy-genius -- it's a dumb movie, but I always remember the line:

"In the immortal words of Socrates: I drank what?"

??? Name of film???

Real Genius (1985). Good Flick. Much better than the similarly named movie of the same year: Weird Science (although, to be fair, Real Genius had no scenes involving Kelly LeBrock taking a shower).

Another good Val Kilmer line from that movie:

"Don't eat that. Eating that can cause very large breasts. Oh my God, I'm too late!"

That's right! Thanks. :)

"Nnnnnnnnnnnni!"- nuff said.



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"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
-- Calvin and Hobbes

"The inner workings of your mind is God's own private sectet"


"This is a symbol of my individuality and belief in personal freedom"

[i]-Wild at Heart, David Lynch



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***Every Jumbled Pile of Person has a Thinking Part That Wonders What the Part That Isn't Thinking Isn't Thinking Of****

"Shwing!"

--Wayne's World

Also, "We're not worthy!"



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¾È ³ç, ÁÖ µ¿ ÀÏ

"Cinderella story" - Bill Murray, Caddyshack (you have to say this with your bottom lip kind of pushed to one side)

"Any of you homo's touches my stuff, I'll kill ya'" - Francis (psycho), Stripes

"Play the fucking game, Hard-on", One flew over the cuckoo's nest

"I'm hungry, let's get a taco" Res. Dogs
(Best when hungry)

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning, it smells like...victory" Apocalypse Now

"I'm your huckleberry" Tombstone

Aw man, Buck stole one of mine! (The line from Tombstone)

Anyway, here are some of mine...

"Tell them I'm coming! And hell's coming with me!" - Tombstone

"Bye-bye! Have fun storming the castle!" - Princess Bride (Usually said when one of my co-workers gose down to EPA)

"One day you and I are going to have a serious disagreement." - Last of the Mohicans

"And to make a long story short.."
"Too late!" - Clue (Usually said when someone says the first phrase)

"Stop the car!"
"We're in the middle of a car chase! We can't just stop the car!" - Playing God

Oh, what the heck:

- Do you expect me to talk?
- No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.
-Goldfinger

- Somebody go back and get us a #@%! load of dimes! - Blazing Saddles

If you call that nearly being killed then
you haven't lived yet. Stick with me and
you'll get a lot closer. - Dr. Who

Meet me at the north by northwest corner.
- High Anxiety

- You can't drive this, it's a ten-speed!
- Hey, no way am I going to wreck this,
it's a BEER truck.
- Strange Brew

I can't help myself, I'm such a Mike Myers junkie, now I'm using Austin Powersisms around the house...

--No,no,no, Mini-Me, we do not gnaw on our kit-ty (generally said when baby is getting into things or attempting to eat non-edible items)

--Crikey! I've lost my mojo! (most often when I can't find my keys, pen, purse, phone, etc.)

--I'm dead sexy! (upon seeing myself rumpled and bleary-eyed first thing in the morning)

--Mini-me, stop humping the "laser". (another thing spouted when Bowen is getting into things)

--I'm having trouble controlling THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE (when I want attention)

From Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream:"
Thanks, courteous friend; Jove shield thee well for this.
Say it kinda loopy in place of "Thank you."
Knock knock/Who's there?/Shut up. (Drew Carey Show)
How far away did you park?/Gdansk. (Roseanne)
If anyone talks about Greek gods, mention "Testicles." (say test-uh-kleez) (Whose Line)
Do you wear boxers or briefs?/Nope. (Simpsons)
See ya later, crap with feet. (DCarey Show)

------------------
--
JMcC from SFCA
http://members.tripod.com/~weirdstuff/index.html

Someone back there wondered where
"Did your parents have any children that survived?" comes from. It's from the most quotable movie of all time-Full Metal Jacket.

Other greats from this film:
(As insults)
What's your major malfunction, numbnuts?

Only steers and queers come from Texas!

I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

Your days of fingerfucking Miss Mary Jane Rottencrouch through her pretty pink panties are over!

From now on, your name is Sgt. Pyle.

(Wistful comment)
Just commenting on man's inhumanity to man sir.

(Extremely good quote to blow someone off)
Fifteen dollar. Any thing you want....

(In fact, the prostitute's entire spiel is beautiful)
Oh, me so horny!
Me love you long time!
No boom-boom with soul brother. He too boku.

(And just be be gross)
I don't know but I've been told
Eskimo pussy is mighty cold

When my dear husband asks me to get something for him:
"Heed! Pahnts!" - Mike Myers as Stuart Mackenzie in So I Married an Axe Murderer

When anyone does something stupid:
"Fokkin' Eedjit!" - Anyone in The Commitments


When saying "Good Night":
"Sleep well and dream of large women..." - Cary Elwes as Westley in The Princess Bride

Just for the Hell of it:
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You kill my father. Prepare to die." - Mandy Patinkin in The Princess Bride



------------------
Most common question I ask: "What?"
Most common question I get: "Are you really hearing impaired?"

It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever....From Spinal Tap, awesome

- Oh, cute, Kent has his name on his liscence plate.

- My mother does the same thing to my underwear?

- You have liscence plates on your underwear? How do you sit?

-- Real Genius

Vegas, baby. VEGAS!

-- Swingers

You're so money, and you don't even know it

-- ibid.

What, were you afraid House of Pain was gonna step to you?!?

-- ibid.

Come get some.

-- Army of Darkness

Good, bad, I'm the one with the gun.

-- ibid.

"It hoits! It hoits!" West Side Story (whenever anyone tells me something won't hurt.)

"Any hat." Tasha Yar, Star Trek: TNG (Whenever someone says I do something at the drop of a hat.)

------------------
"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

It's from the Simpson's:

There's no justice like angry mob justice.
(Whenever the situation is getting ugly.)

"I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!" West Side Story (whenever I'm accused of not being altogether there)



------------------
"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

KnowhutImean, Vern? Ernest (goes to Camp, Saves Christmas, joins the Army... you pick)

"You compared Nazis to Democrats?" -- Patton, paraphrased

"Now, I know you don't smoke weed. But we're gonna get you high today. Cause it's Friday, you ain't got a job, and you got shit to do" -- Friday

"You got knocked the fuck out, man!" --ibid

"You want some of Deboe?" --ibid

"As long as they don't send us to that horrible, horrible planet of the apes. Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty. That was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!" --Homer Simpson

"I was cured, all right" --Clockwork Orange, the coolest movie ever made

"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good" --I think Michael Douglas in Wall Street

"Puttin' on the foil, coach. Want some?" (when asked what are you doing)- Slapshot

"The horror, the horror..." (after a bad day) - Apocalypse Now

"Pay no attention to Mr. Squirrel, here..." (when distracting someone while you do something undesirable to them) - Caddyshack

"Convicted? No, never convicted." (when asked the question at Customs) - The Blues Brothers

"Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks." (when out of options) - Forrest Gump

On Pain:

"Take the pain!" When someone says ouch--from Platoon

"Life is pain, get used to it." Ditto--from The Long Kiss Goodnight

These are great for stubbed toes and the like. Use them at home or at the office.

My wife insists that I stop using these with our 8-month--old daughter when she cries.

------------------
There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and discipline. -Montaigne

All Simpsons quotes are perfect for any occasion. Same goes for Monty Python; some of my personal faves:
"An argument isn't just saying 'no it isn't.'"
"Yes it is."
"No it isn't!"

"You second-hand electric donkey bottom-biter."

"She was my best friend."
"Oh, Mother, don't be so sentimental. Things explode every day."

Any of the above can be used for any reason or no reason at all.

One movie quote that I'm surprised nobody has mentioned is from A Few Good Men and is great to use when you believe you are right but just can't think of how to back up your claim:
"The truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!"

"Don't worry, you'll be back on your knees in no time." --As Good as it Gets
"My mom died, a fluke accident in a routine liposuction." -Clueless
"No....YES!!"-Night at the Roxbury

------------------
"I'll sleep when I'm dead." - Warren Zevon

dhanson said - "Convicted? No, never convicted." (when asked the question at Customs) - The Blues Brothers

Sorry, but that's a "Stripes" quote (Lord help me for knowing that one!)

And the bast line for appraising anything that is either useless or redundant... "Ours goes to eleven." (paraphrased from "This is Spinal Tap")

A couple of my favorites:

(In a squeaky, annoying voice) "People? I ain't people! I am a shimmering, glowing star in the cinema foimament. It says so, right there."

When I'm asked to predict completion schedules, I start talking like Yoda and say, "Difficult to say. Always changing the future is."

The quote from Mr. Mom is "220, 221, whatever it takes"...not 240.

Another quoate I use (from Blazing Saddles), in my best Slim Pickens whine: "What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is going on here?"

From a Bugs Bunny cartoon: "The South Pole? Ooooooh, I'm DYIN'" (this is really effective when watching the X-Files movie, when Mulder is given the location of Scully, and the slip of paper says she's at 95 degrees South)

From Willy Wonka: "There's no earthly way of knowing, what direction we are going." (said when my kids ask where the car is headed)

From Robocop: "I LIKE it" (usable any time)

From Becket: "Will no one rid us of this mettlesome priest?" (said whenever someone is aggravating me)

From the Kung Fu TV series, for use with subordinates at work:

"You listen but do not hear, Grasshopper."


From any old movie with an aristocratic villain, for use with any adversary:

"I laugh in your face! Ha ha!"


------------------

where have you guys been all my life...I love all those old fliks:
the burbs,lost boys,F>Beuller,16 candles, willow was awesome,and better off dead was a classic, but I thought I was the only one who thought so!
clerks and grosse point blank are recent faves,
quotes i use incl:

"thats gonna leave a mark"- when I hurt myself in public
AAAAARmt training sir! -when asked what are you doing.
IS that a pledge pin on your uniform???(mock angrily) when someone is wearing something unusual
I sat we go THISA WAY!! when debating routes to drive (its from WILLOW- I do it with a funny accent)
if a man gets me flustered..I fan mysely and say in a southern accent "well ah do declare!"
if a stranger ( a man :-) ) offers assistance I say (again with the accent) "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers"
when expressing regrets over past decisions, I mumble "I coulda been a contenda"

From _Life of Brian_:
"'Making it worse'? How could it be any worse? Jehovah! Jehovah!"

From _PCI_:
"Don't be that guy."
(Useful when someone is doing something they think is cool, but it's cliche.) (Unfortunately, it gives away that I watched this awful film.)

From _Monty Python's The Meaning of Life_:
"It's only wafer thin."
(When trying to convince someone to have seconds.)

From _They Live!_ (I think):
"I came to kick butt and chew gum, and I'm all out of gum!"

From _The Blue's Brothers_:
"This is glue. Strong stuff."

From _The Addam's Family_ (TV):
"You rang?"



------------------
Carpe hoc!
(The Artist formerly known as pathunt)

Well, who'd'a thunk we woulda needed a Part II on this thread? It's getting way long, so let's go ahead and move it to a new spot.

-Melin
Board-Goddess-In-Training

[Ringo]

Well, for the immediate purpose it needs to just roll on...

[PunditLisa]

"Stellllllll-aaaaaah" - Streetcar named Desire
"I couldah been a contendah" -On the Waterfront
"I'm an excellent driver." -Rainman
"Get back here, I'll bite off your leg!" -Monty Python's Holy Grail

[BurnMeUp]

Now when someone keep droning on about boring stories and details I don't want to hear i say "And this one time, at band camp...."

------------------
Don't let the loveless ones sell you a world wrapped in grey.

[Just Ed]

Allllll righty, then!

"Everybody be cool - YOU - be cool" - George Clooney in From Dusk Till Dawn. Used when trying to calm down a conversation getting loud.

"Gettin' loud!" - Helen Hunt in As Good as it Gets. Same situation.

"Inconceivable!" - ? in The Princess Bride. The line preceding Mandy Patinkin's "You keep using that word. . . ." Used whenever some un-anticipated event screws up plans.

Some favorite non-sequiturs:

"Did you know the human head weighs 8 pounds?" - Jerry Maguire

"Sheeeit, negro - that's all you had to say!" - Pulp Fiction

"You heard me, Punchy" - ibid.

"Abby - Normal" - Young Frankenstein

And, since Monty Python came up:

"'E's not resting, 'e's bleedin' demised!

[PatrickM]

The line I use when things go disasterously wrong is, "Think you used enough dynamite there Butch?" from Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid.

[ThereWolf]

Some favorite lines not already shared (all useable in everyday life):

"Roll 'em up!" - National Lampoon's Vacation

"Funny? What do you mean funny? Am I a clown to you? Do I amuse you?" - Goodfellas

"That's not art, it's sex!" - Slap Shot

"Mr. Man! Mr. Man!"
and
"We get both kinds: country AND western" - from The Blues Brothers

Of course, a whole bunch from Mel Brooks:
"Go to vork!" (in your best Swedish accent) - The Producers

"Don't know. Mongo only pawn in game of life."
"Harumph, harumph, harumph, harumph..." (also "Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur" from The Man With Two Brains
"Kinky!"
"Sounds like steam escaping."
- from Blazing Saddles

"It's good to be the king."
- History of the World

"Could be worse...could be raining."
"You just made a yummy sound..."
- Young Frankenstein

[Jewel]

Quixotic took my quote!

"Inconceivable!" - in The Princess Bride. The line preceding Mandy Patinkin's "You keep using that word. . . ." Used whenever some un-anticipated event screws up plans.

I am sure there is a quote that would be appropriate in this situation-I just can't think of it at the moment....

[phouka]

"We're going to need some more FBI guys." - Die Hard. For anytime someone's pulled a clusterfuck so big, they go down in flames.

"I grovel in mortification." - Death on the Nile. Used by my family and I anytime we screw up really bad. Haven't had to use that here. Yet.

"Bad, evil, wicked, naughty Zoot! She must be spanked!" - Monty Python and the Holy Grail. When a friend has flaked out in a minor way but is catching too much flack about it.

"You'll get nothing and like it!" - Caddyshack. Whenever my cat is whining at me for something she's not going to get.

"Put ze candle BECK!" - Young Frankenstein. All purpose "stop whatever you are doing immediately" phrase.

"That'll be the day!" - The Searchers. Must be said with intense John Wayne accent whenever a skeptical comeback is needed.

"What is dis idiot babbling about?" - The Little Mermaid. Pretty self explanatory. Works best with a Jamaican accent.

"Burn the witch!" "May we burn her?" - Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I get this one a lot whenever clever python fans learn of my religion.

"SSssssssNEAKIN'!" - Return of the King (LoTR). Whenever someone asks me what I'm doing. It's Golum's line.

And lots, lots more . . .

------------------
"I'm surprised that you've never been told before, that you're lovely, that you're perfect, and that somebody wants you." - Semisonic, f.n.p

[Saucy Jack]

We might like to quote " My Prescious", don't we My Prescious?

(From The Hobbit, anywhere or anytime, usually for no particular reason. It's more fun that way)

"Laundry day today, nothing clean right? Nothing clean right."
(From The Terminator, usually when someone has forgotten to give me something they were supposed to bring with them)

[matt_mcl]

Gracious me. Was I raving? Please forgive me. I'm mad.
-Patient X, in The Exorcist III

Oh, for goodness' sake get down off that crucifix. Someone needs the wood.
-Felicia, in The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

I'm sorry; if you were right, I would agree with you.
-Dr. Sayer, in Awakenings

You are gay! You are a homosexual! I know it, your family knows it, dogs know it! The only one who doesn't know it is you!
-The Doctor, in Brain Candy

You're not listening to me! I am fucking gay!
-Alyssa Jones, in Chasing Amy

Blind and deaf people know you're gay. Dead people know you're gay.
-Will, from Will & Grace

This is how we do things on the Planet Maturia. We have much to teach you.
-Lucia, in The Opposite of Sex

With the first link, a chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably.
-Captain Jean-Luc Picard, "The Drumhead," Star Trek: The Next Generation

[Max Torque]

A favorite of mine is from the Simpsons episode, where Bart destroyed Lisa's science project and she begins to compare Bart's intelligence with a hamster's. The hamster, of course, shuns the electrified cupcake after the first shock; Bart keeps after it:

BZZZT. "Ow!" BZZZT. "Ow!"

I say it whenever someone does something stupid more than once.

BTW, my fave Black Adder quote goes something like, "You wouldn't know a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsichord singing, 'Subtle Plans Are Here Again'."

[Moonshine]

Also from Blackadder: "Yes Darling?" "That's Captain Darling to you Blackadder".

------------------
It only hurts when I laugh.

[BurnMeUp]

A few from resivoir dogs:

You gonna bark all day little doggy or are you gonna bite?

I'll break you in but then I'll make you my dog's bitch

Wow, that was intense huh? I bet you're a big Lee Marvin fan.

------------------
Don't let the loveless ones sell you a world wrapped in grey.

[AuraSeer]

When assigned a tough project at my last job: "Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?"

[Rilchiam]

Bump-a-rolla!

Why is everyone a "guest" on this thread?

[highlander_km]

"It's a sad day when Sam Malone (use the name of your victim) has to be the voice of reason". - I know Cheers is not a movie, but it is a great line!

"...to make it in life you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. For years I was smart - I recommend pleasant". - Elwood Dowd, Harvey.

[The Big Cheese]

I told a variation of this to my ex-girlfriend...

'Truth, much like art, is in the eye of the beholder. You believe what you want, I'll believe what I know'. --Kevin Spacey in 'Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil'.

[VitrolicBump]

"Do I offend?" When I feel less than fresh smelling.

"Off like a dirty shirt." and "Let's plow(sp?)." A way of saying "Let's go."
Both of the above are from the movie "Pretty in Pink".

A TV quote I use all of the time, "Aaah, crap."(The Invisible Man, Sci-Fi Channel) Whenever something goes wrong.

[Erika]

"You remind me of the babe." -- Labyrinth
[mostly for no reason, to spark the whole exchange from either my sister or random other people who happen to know the movie.]

"Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please." -- Tank Girl
[um, very randomly, too...mostly in an I've enough of this, lets get out of here NOW situation. Though I've used it other times too.]

And lots of others...some of which I forget that I use, and many that have already been mentioned....

[hardygrrl]

I'm the firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class...especially since I rule.


Clerks


My first sig here ::sigh::

[Verrain]

"Inconceivable!"

"You keep using the word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Pirncess bride

[ENugent]

I can't believe I read through four pages and I'm the only one who uses this one....

"Back off, man! I'm a scientist!"
-Ghostbusters

[kasuo]

My friend uses this one:
"That's an great question, but what does one gauge his response on? Physical prowess? Keen detection skills?"

[plnnr]

"Son, you've got a panty on your head." from Raising Arizona, whenever someone pulls a bonehead move.

"So many social engagements, so little time." same, when sarcatically responding to the question, "What are you doing this weekend?" or something similar.

"He sleeps with the fishes." The Godfather. When asked where someone went, where is so and so.

[ModernRonin2]

Here's another one I can't believe nobody has mentioned yet. When Vizzini and Wesley are taking the poisoned wine, and Vizzini goes off on a long rant about Australia, Socrates, Strength, etc.... And Carey Elwes comes back
with an absolutely perfectly deadpan:

"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect..."

It's a great line for taking the wind out of the sails
of someone who's being a pretentious know-it-all.

"Groovy..." -Ash/Evil Dead. Use whenever appropriate. ;]

My cow-orker says "I HAVE YOU NOW." in his best Darth Vader when he's about to solve a tough problem.


-Ben

[Sublight]

Sardonic comment when my friend and I encounter another hassle of living in Japan, from Leathal Weapon 2:
"But... Yer Bleck."
"He's right y'know... Y'are."

When ever someone's just drifted into a mental twilight zone, from South Park
"Cartman... What the hell are you talking about?"

When a movie villain has just come back from taking an insane amount of punishment (you should know this one):
"I want my two dollars!"

From The Hunted
"Ninjas? There's no such thing as ninjas *urk*!"

From UHF
"Red snapper... Very good fish."
"Stupid!!! Yooouuu're soooo stuuupiiid!"
"You get to drink from the fire hose!"

And just about anything R. Lee Ermy said in Full Metal Jacket.

--sublight.

[Winnie]

Oh God, too many to mention. A true movie quote geek here, but here are a few I can think of in my sugar-induced frenzy this morning:

"Ooohhh sexy girlfriend!"
16 Candles

"What the f*ck are robster craws?"
OR
"What the f*ck is a frush?"
Revenge of the Nerds

"You do drugs Danny?"
"Every day."
"Good."
Caddyshack

"Where all the white women at?"
Blazing Saddles

"Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Happy Hanukah."
Christmas Vacation (Chevy Chase to all the suits at his office)

"I firmly believe in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule."
Clerks

"Hey man, am I driving okay?"
"Hey man I think we are parked."
Up in Smoke

"Can I see your license?"
"I think it’s on the back of the car, man."
Up in Smoke

"Do you have Christmas in France?"
(fat woman squeezing cheeks of French girl) "Christ-mas"
Better off Dead

"Try not to suck any d*ck on the way out to the parking lot." (Dante to his girlfriend as she runs out of the store)
"Hey, get back here" (to bystander who starts to run after her)
Clerks

"My girlfriend sucked 37 d*cks."
"In a row?"
Clerks

"Hey man, when I was a kid if we wanted Jacuzzi we had to fart in the tub."
Trading Places.

"You can have a warm glass of SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Happy Gilmore

"It puts the lotion on its skin. It does this when it’s told."
Silence of the Lambs.

""Oh, no, no, no." "Oh, nice collection there, Jim." "She's gonna leave. She's definitely gonna... She's getting comfortable! She's not gonna leave!" "She reads the articles."
American Pie

"You got to be a stupid mother f*cker to get fired on your day off."
Friday

[katiekilldare]

"Strange things are afoot at the Circle K" - Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Used when things just ain't right.

"It was a momentarily loss of muscular coordination." - Jack Nicholson in The Shining. Used to justify clumsiness.

"Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women" - Robert Shaw in Jaws. Just a nice toast.

"She puts the 'itch' in 'bitch'." - from Bring it on. Comes in handy when I'm freshly off the phone with my mother.

"Honey Bunches of DEATH!" - Tom Sirvo from MST3K. He was describing extremely fake looking asteroids. Can be used to describe most cold cereals.

[Riqay]

Whenever I get the chance:

"Wang, I think this place is restricted, so don't tell 'em your Jewish." -- Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack

"Be the ball." -- Chevy Chase in Caddyshack

"I'm not listening! Nobody's hearin' nothin'!" -- Billy Crystal as Miracle Max in The Princess Bride (ya gotta use the accent).



And perhaps my all-time favorite...

"This one goes up to eleven." -- Christopher Guest in This Is Spinal Tap

[Jeannie]

"Packers! Whooooo!" --From an episode of MST3K where they're making fun of a monster movie that takes place in Wisconsin and there's a big mob scene at the end. Used by my husband and I whenever we see a huge crowd or are watching a crappy movie that involves a huge crowd.

"220...221, whatever it takes." --Mr. Mom (Used when someone asks what I'm going to use to do whatever it is I'm doing.)

"No TV and no beer make Homer something something"
"Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do!" --from the Simpsons (Used when I'm really stressed out.)

"I want my two dollars!" --from Better Off Dead (Used when someone owes me money, or when I hear someone whining about someone owing them some piddly little amount of money.)

"I'm not even supposed to BE here today!" --from Clerks (Used whenever I'm feeling really stressed out at work.)

"We have so much time and so little to do. Wait. Scratch that. Reverse it." --from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (Used whenever appropriate.)


There are many more, but most have been said (like some of these), or I can't remember them right now.

Oh, and I am just waiting for the opportunity to use this gem from Clerks:

"I don't appreciate your ruse ma'am."
"My what?"
"Your ruse. Your clever attempt to trick me."

[Swede Hollow]

A few that I use:

Help! Help! I’m being repressed! – Monty Python’s Holy Grail

"I think your in-laws are coming to see ya, squire darling." – The Quiet Man

"The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!" – Steve Martin in “The Jerk”

"Hey it's a thingie. A fiendish thingie." George Harrison in “HELP!”

“Never mind what I told you. I’m telling you.” – James Cagney in “Mr. Roberts”

[BabaBooey]

"Are you going to bark all day, little doggie, or are you going to bite?" -Vic Vega of Resevoir Dogs
Whenever someone just talks a lot of trash without doing anything about it. I can't saying it without smiling a little bit, because it really pisses people off.

"Obviously, you're not a golfer." -Big Lebowski
Whenever someone asks what something is when I feel it's obvious.

"A couple million dollar also" Jackie Chan, Rumble in the Bronx
Whenever saying that one thing is more expensive than they other. The phrase just got stuck in my head because it's some of the worst English that I've ever heard.

[No Worries]

"We don't need no stinkin' badges!" from Treasure of the Sierra Madre and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

[Mark IV]

I like to use "Singin' In The Rain" from A Clockwork Orange to describe cognitive dissonance. (They played it during a violent hooligan murder scene.)

[Gamelan]

Originally posted by PapaBear
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>220, 240, whatever it takes"
-electrical advice from Tom Hanks in "Mr. Mom"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...I'm pretty sure this was from Michael Keaton.

Don't you hate nitpickers?

If I may nitpick yet again, I think the quote is actually "220, 221 whatever it takes" from Michael Keaton to Teri Garr's boss, Ron, played by Martin Mull. (isn't the IMDb great?)

BTW, my favorite movie quote as of late would have to be from "Waiting for Guffman":

"I hate you people...because you're bastard people..."

[PunditLisa]

"Inconceivable!"

1. This thread is older than dirt.
2. When saying the above line from Princess Bride, you have to give it the proper lisp in order to be truly in character. "Incontheivable!"
3. Hi Opal!

[SKIorDIE]

hey Sadistic-- Correct me if I'm wrong, but was that taken from Aliens??

"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. Its the only way to be sure."

[SKIorDIE]

This quote is said when I take a bite out of a
scrum-did-leumptious burger.

"Now that is a Tasty burger! Do you mind if I partake of that cool refreshing beverage?"

I know its not word for word, but I get the point across...