Love Questions..COmplete opinion

[Molly Coddle]

I am taking a Shakespeare class and a few questions came up that we had to state our opinion on. I listened to what others in the class had to say.. what's ya'lls thoughts?
You may answer one or more if you'd like..it's just a curious thing..
Also.. simple "yes" or "no" answers won't do.. heh.. I need some in depth thoughts here..lol

1.) Is there really such a thing as true love?

2.) Can you really know what love is at a young age?

3.) What is your take on love at first sight?

4.) Which is worse; Love without sex/affection or sex/affection without love?


Thanks. Being that this is complete opinion, I thought this to be more of a debate issue.. it could also be in IMHB too...

~~ Molly

[Pencil Pusher]

So, you want us to do your homework, do you.

Well, I'll help you out. But first you need to define your terms. Love is used as a catch-all emotion, and has many facets. Check out this website: http://www.utm.edu/research/iep/l/love.htm , which describes the several Greek words for love. (Eros, Philia and Agape). You might want to look into this http://www.geocities.com/thereisonlynow/iloveyou.html (bottom of the page) where the author further subdivides love into seven categories, borrowing from both the Greek and Latin.

Once you have defined your terms, the questions become easy. (1) Yes, "true" love exists in each category.
(2) Some categories can probably be experienced by young people easier than other categories.
(3) Some categories of love can probably be experienced spontaneously
(4) Depends on which category of love you value more.

[Violet]

I think "love at first sight" is really lust at first sight. I don't see how a person could "love" someone without knowing that person. A serial killer could be really hot looking, and that person could make your heart beat faster. That must be lust. How could you instantly "love" that person, not knowing he or she could be desiring to literally rip your heart out?

[Blalron]

1.) Is there really such a thing as true love?

Sure. It may be a rare thing, but I'm sure it exists.

2.) Can you really know what love is at a young age?

I think it's possible, but for most cases I would doubt that a young person would have the full wisdom and maturity to understand love.

3.) What is your take on love at first sight?

Doesn't exist. The proper term for it would be "lust at first sight; with potential for more than lust at some point in the future."

4.) Which is worse; Love without sex/affection or sex/affection without love?

Tough one.

[erislover]

Is there really such a thing as true love?

Well, um... yes? Else what does the word indicate? Of course, what the word indicates is disputable. I would tend to ask: at what point could we say we are in love? This is "true". I tend to think of love as a mode of existence where another is as important to your own emotional well-being as you are to your emotional well-being. Can you really know what love is at a young age?

Sure. I do not suspect that children are all liars when they say they love their parents. As for "romantic" love... well, I tend to think "romantic love" is regular love with sex thrown in. What is your take on love at first sight?Well, if there can be "grief at first occurance" then I would imagine there can be "love at first sight". I am not sure how this could be distinguished except in hindsight. But while hindsight often lends clarity to holistic perspectives, it seems to be sort of crappy at distinguishing specific feelings. So this one is up in the air.

Let me say: cases seem to present themselves which fit this phrase. Which is worse; Love without sex/affection or sex/affection without love?

The former, as affection in general is one of the many accompanying behaviors that get grouped under "love". Unrequited love is a feeling seeking expression.

[musteion]

Originally posted by Molly Coddle

1.) Is there really such a thing as true love?

Yes, I believe there is. The problem is that it is extremely rare...so much so that most people will never have it.

2.) Can you really know what love is at a young age?

Also, yes, I believe you can know love at a young age. Unfortunately, it is like the knowledge one has of anything at a young age...it tends to be unsophisticated.

3.) What is your take on love at first sight?

Love at first sight is a myth...if all you've got to go on is someone's looks, it isn't love, but lust.

4.) Which is worse; Love without sex/affection or sex/affection without love?

Well, it depends on what you want out of a relationship, but I think that love and sex are largely different needs, completely. One cannot be fulfilled by the other.

[Molly Coddle]

Pencil Pusher>

Actually no.. There was no homework involved.. I already went through that and gave my opinion.. That part of the course is over, I just wanted to know other peoples' opinions about love.. hence the reason I asked for opinions, not science.

~~Mollllllllllllly

[gigi]

"Romeo and Juliet" eh? :p

In the context of that play, it sure looks like lust at first sight to me. Romeo is pissed that Rosalind won't sleep with him and then he spies another nubile young girl. They are attracted to one another and claim to be "in love" but it seems to just be mutual physical attraction. Presumably she does sleep with him, and by then a bond may be created.

I'm not sure young people really understand love but why not, if they take an initial attraction and really get to know each other as people and still feel romantic love.

That being said, there are couples who claim they saw each other across a crowded room and knew they were the one. The cynic in me says that was just the latest in a line of lusts at first sight, and that this one happened to work out. Then hindsight says it was fated to be that way. Hard to know.

[erislover]

If love is a feeling then there is nothing to understand only something to have. And I don't see why young persons cannot have that feeling.

[Molly Coddle]

Originally posted by gigi
"Romeo and Juliet" eh? :p

In the context of that play, it sure looks like lust at first sight to me. Romeo is pissed that Rosalind won't sleep with him and then he spies another nubile young girl. They are attracted to one another and claim to be "in love" but it seems to just be mutual physical attraction. Presumably she does sleep with him, and by then a bond may be created.

I'm not sure young people really understand love but why not, if they take an initial attraction and really get to know each other as people and still feel romantic love.

That being said, there are couples who claim they saw each other across a crowded room and knew they were the one. The cynic in me says that was just the latest in a line of lusts at first sight, and that this one happened to work out. Then hindsight says it was fated to be that way. Hard to know.

and you are right on the money.. the whole concept of that love discussion was a prelude to ROmeo and Juliet. I've read it several times and can quote quite a bit of ti.. Now I'm dissecting it ..we're getting into in depth discussions about the love of Romeo and Juliet..

[clairobscur]

Originally posted by Violet
I think "love at first sight" is really lust at first sight. I don't see how a person could "love" someone without knowing that person.



There are people who have a lot of empathy and are way better than others at assessing the personnality of someone they just met.

Plus, though I never experienced it myself, I've heard people telling me about their "love first glance" experience with someone they are stiil living with.


So, though I'm not really convinced, I would reserve my judgment on this topic.

[clairobscur]

Originally posted by gigi


I'm not sure young people really understand love .



What is there to understand in love?

[Molly Coddle]

Originally posted by clairobscur




What is there to understand in love?


gahhhhhhh.. I can't help but squeeze me two sense in..

I think it's possible to love at a young age.. don't children have an internal program to love their parents or a pet? Why can't they love another? Perhaps they don't look for the same things adults do, but if I am wrong, at what age *do* people know when they've fallen in love?: It's mind-boggling.

~MC

[handy]

1.) Is there really such a thing as true love?

No, that is redundant. (as if it wasn't also an oxymoron)

2.) Can you really know what love is at a young age?

But how would you first know that you are at a young age?

3.) What is your take on love at first sight?

No, because then the blind would not know this & do they?

4.) Which is worse; Love without sex/affection or sex/affection without love?

I don't know, I haven't been with a prostitute yet to compare these.

[CheapBastid]

While it has been expressed that Love at First Sight and (I feel) can be regarded as Lust at First Sight, there is a component that is missing from the discussion.

The Picker

The mechanism in one that predisposes one to choose a specific type of partner.

As an example I have a few friends who's parents are alcoholics and it seems that there is an almost magical 'picker' inside them that allows them to ferret out the alcoholic in a crowded room and cause 'Love (Lust) at First Sight'.

We call it a ''Busted Picker' but more correctly it is a very well tuned one, as it is consistent in its picks.

So there is some interesting combination of body language, body type, and facial expression(s) that can lead one to 'love at first sight' that can sometimes result in 'true love'.

My wife and I were a 'hate at first sight' but that is another story...

[tracer]

Originally posted by clairobscur
Plus, though I never experienced it myself, I've heard people telling me about their "love first glance" experience with someone they are stiil living with.
Opinions about love and compatibility tend to be skewed while two people are still together.

Ask people about their "love first glace" experience with someone after they've broken up with that person, and see if you get the same answer.

[monica]

1.) Is there really such a thing as true love?
I think so, but I've never experienced it.
2.) Can you really know what love is at a young age?
Yes, I believe that it is possible, but that most younger people mistake other things for love. (and yes, I am fifteen, not an older person talking here)
3.) What is your take on love at first sight?
Doesn't happen. Attraction at first sight, yes, but love takes more than that-you have to know a person better
4.) Which is worse; Love without sex/affection or sex/affection without love?
Love without sex/affection...I think that love needs an outlet, some form of expression, and have actually broken up with a boyfriend for lack of this. I have also had relationships without love, but lots of affection and making out and other stuff without regret.

[El Zagna]

As Pencil Pusher said, you've got to define your terms. I assume Shakespear was talking about the thing that Dorothy Tennov calls limerence (http://dannyreviews.com/h/Love_Limerence.html) . This is the starry-eyed, hit-you-in-the-pit-of-the-stomach emotion, not the I-love-my-grandkids flavor. So given that:

1.) Is there really such a thing as true love? Absolutely. However I think it almost never lasts. Instead it evolves into a more lasting emotion based on fondness, affection, understanding, and compassion. Either that or one or both parties explodes from the constant intensity.

2.) Can you really know what love is at a young age? Absolutely. The real question is can you remember what true love is at an old age?

3.) What is your take on love at first sight? Absolutely real.

4.) Which is worse; Love without sex/affection or sex/affection without love? Unrequited love (limerence) is one of the most miserable experiences a person can go through. It leads to suicide, failed businesses, insanity, you name it. I'm surprised there hasn't been an attempt to make it illegal.

I think it is a mistake to trivialize love among the very young. That is awhere it is the most common and intense, and that is where it has the potential for the most damage.

[jshore]

Originally posted by Violet
[B]I think "love at first sight" is really lust at first sight.

I don't think this is quite true ... Perhaps "love at first sight" is a little strong. (How about "infatuation at first sight"?) But the point is that you can tell a lot about a person by the way that they present themselves and interact. I would certainly distinguish between women I've seen who I have lusted after at first sight but really probably wasn't very compatible with and those who I have truly known at first sight ... or almost first sight ... were really neat people and it was a bit more than just lust (not that the lust wasn't in there too). I'm not claiming that you can tell for sure if you are compatible with someone in all ways at first sight, but you can certainly distinguish a lot of traits that you like.

[gigi]

Originally posted by clairobscur
What is there to understand in love?

You're right, in a sense, because I guess what I meant is that young people (and people of any age really) don't understand what a loving relationship is. First "love" can be so overpowering that it feels "right" even if it is manipulative or unbalanced or unrealistic. It takes some experience with relationships to understand what a healthy love relationship is like.

But you are right that the feeling may seem like love in any case.

[erislover]

[i]Originally posted by gigi
First "love" can be so overpowering that it feels "right" even if it is manipulative or unbalanced or unrealistic.I do not understand if you are talking about love the feeling or behavior of someone who says they are in love. I don't think they are the same thing.It takes some experience with relationships to understand what a healthy love relationship is like.I think it takes a look around society to find a "norm".

[erislover]

Originally posted by gigi
First "love" can be so overpowering that it feels "right" even if it is manipulative or unbalanced or unrealistic.I do not understand if you are talking about love the feeling or the behavior of someone who says they are in love. I don't think they are the same thing.It takes some experience with relationships to understand what a healthy love relationship is like.
I think it takes a look around society to find a "norm".