Ashes to Ashes - woolly faces the abyss

[woolly]

England cricket tour of Australia 2002/03

Having just comprehensively stuffed Pakistan (World #3) a nation of outrageous cricketing talent and notoriously fragile temperament (including a victory in under 2 days) the Australians now return home for the Ashes series against the visiting Englishmen.

We think it is very important that if you claim to be the world champions that you earn this accolade by playing other countries both home and away

As usual, the Australian team has the impression of looking wonky, despite their dominance. Both batting and bowling in each Test seemingly resting on too few shoulders. Of course, the trick is that 1) there are several shoulders capable of bearing the burden and 2) they seem to share the burden around.

The Aussies have won the past seven series and held the Ashes since 1989. The money is on a continuance. My head says the same. I don't know if any of the SDMB Poms would put any hard-earned on them.

There are some solid credentials amongst tourists, including the top order and some promising tearaways, though they are light on experience. The team's leaders are making positive statements, though I'd prefer they were mute until they put some runs/wickets on the board.

It wasn't always this way. I remember when the boot was firmly on the other foot. Watching in the wee small hours as Botham and Willis pinched the Headingley Test in 1981. It still leaves emotional scars. As do the 14 consecutive matches without a win in the mid 80's or the lessons dealt out by Illingworth's hard as nails team in the 1968 and 1971/72 series.

So why aren't I gleefully waiting on another mug-a-pom-athon?

Well, call me old fashioned, but I want to watch a contest, not a cameo talent show. A full series of 5 day matches, not Le Cage aux Folles in flannel. Give me a gritty last day struggle for a draw, not 8 wickets in a session of carnage and all over bar the mop-up.

So I'll be in the Members for the Boxing Day Test @ the MCG hoping for a competition and barracking for the Aussies ... but if it's 2-2 when we get to the SCG, I'll join the Barmy Army for the first day. Carn the Poms.

[ Australian deportation proceeding have probably already been begun. :eek: ]

[TheLoadedDog]

Just coz the mods on this here MB follow baseball....


Actually, I agree. It'd be good to see the Poms inm form.

[Primaflora]

maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!

you're gonna get all these views and all these disgruntled Yanks are gonna want to shear your daggy loins.

;)

[everton]

Well apparently we've just lost the tour opener against the ACB Chairman's XI, so that's not a good start. Otherwise there's not much you've said I could disagree with. The occasional massacre is pretty funny, but if it becomes routine there's no entertainment for anyone is there? And if you've bought tickets for the weekend only to find the match is all but over by Friday night, what's the point?

Chances of England winning the series? - none; chances of us giving you a proper contest this time? - yeah, plenty.

The present England team has shown an increased self-belief and ability to win matches that it hasn't had for a while. Trescothick, Vaughn and Butcher can all bat and Hussain has added much needed steel to the middle order - he's got the right attitude to dig in and set fresh partnerships with new guys as they come in.

Even the fact that he's talking up our chances shouldn't be seen as arrogance, it's just part of the positive thinking you'd normally associate with Aussie captains, and has helped us to several series wins home and away recently.

We might struggle more with the bowling, though - too many of them are inexperienced against the best for me to feel confident, but Hoggard seems to be coming into a bit of form. Darren Gough looks to be on the mend too - they're saying he'll be fit for the first Test and I'm sure he'll play later at least. I'm disappointed about Andy Flintoff's hernia, though. He's an entertaining character and I know he was looking forward to showing you what he can do.

Enjoy the matches Aussie Dopers, and have a few VB's for me won't ya?

[woolly]

Oh Christ. Poms, is this how you repay my support??!!

First Test, Hussain wins the toss and sends the locals in on a batsman's paradise (all the talk about being positive getting pissed up against the wall). Then Caddick and Co serve up a continual stream of sodas and longhops and are twatted to all points of the Gabba. At the close Australia is 2 for 364 with the Poms one bowler down for the rest of the Test.

The most likely scenario now is for Trescowthick and Vaughn to get their first view of Gillespie and McGarth tomorrow afternoon chasing 500+. If they can dig themselves out of this mess, they really do have capabilities at Test level.

[everton]

What can I say? I was sort of hoping you'd lost this thread. Maybe we'd better let you have the draw this time ;).

[Jervoise]

The sports news a week or so ago featured a montage of English fielders missing catches at training when they arrived in Australia. Seemed funny at the time, but now... :D

[Tony Barber's Underwear]

Originally posted by woolly
England cricket tour of Australia 2002/03

Well, call me old fashioned, but I want to watch a contest, not a cameo talent show. A full series of 5 day matches, not Le Cage aux Folles in flannel. Give me a gritty last day struggle for a draw, not 8 wickets in a session of carnage and all over bar the mop-up.

[ Australian deportation proceeding have probably already been begun. :eek: ]

I agree with you there, actually. I went to the opening day at the 'Gabba yesterday, and was embarrassed for the Poms. They were so pitiful in the field, and it looks like Australia is going to set a massive total. The poms dropped catches, mis-fielded, and their only half-decent bowler did his knee in a sickening slide and is out for at least six months. Why did Hussein put Australia in on what was a flat track.

They didn't bowl too badly, though, but this must concern them even more than if they were shocking. The Australian Newspaper said :
The greatest worry for England is that they didn't bowl far below what was expected of them. They cannot expect much improvement, which must be quite disturbing for the thousands of English fans who have travelled to Australia to cheer on their long suffering side.

Oh well, at least their rugby team is competitive again.

- Bubba.

[Ell]

4/65 this morning. What a turnaround from the Poms! A little late though.

[TheLoadedDog]

Yeah, what was with that sending the Australians in to bat business? Bizzarro stuff.

[everton]

We’ve even caught the ball!!!

Yes, I was ashamed of that fielding performance on Day 1 – I thought they’d tightened that up a bit recently. I did admit we’d struggle with the bowling though didn’t I? Makes the decision to put Aussie in even more peculiar. We’re in trouble without Jones as well as Gough and Flintoff. Caddick and White are doing their best though it seems.

Still, it could have been worse – I might have paid Rupert Murdoch for the privilege of watching it (still no Sky in my house yet).

[TheLoadedDog]

The English bowlers seemed to be losing the psychological war for a bit there, with the Australian batsmen clearly breaking the Poms' rhythm. These are good bowlers too - guys who are capable of much better.

A bit of Pommy retaliation is good to see though.

[everton]

Could’ve been much worse f’rus Poms. Good recovery from Caddick and Giles. Plucky stuff from Warne. If the opening pair survive unscathed until the close it may not be all up for this match, but I’m a little concerned about how quickly the tailed got swallowed up there.

[everton]

1-49
Gulp. Me an' my big mouth. Er, fingers.

[everton]

1-158
That's more like it - a bit of spine on show after all, and steady progress towards target No.1. Pretty flat pitch isn't it?

I'm not the only person who follows the cricket up here, by the way, so I'm sure there'll be more variety of opinions before long. It's currently 7.38 am, though, so you have to factor that in.

Also, to recall remarks from a previous thread, the radio commentators have mentioned that they can see the Hawkeye imaging system in use for lbw's. Apparently they're watching Channel 9.

[woolly]

Glory, glory, the Poms are not taking it lying down.

Now if only Nasser had the courage to have batted first and if they'd produced this result ol' woolly would have as happy as a pig in shit!

Go the Poms!

[hawthorne]

Ooh, it's looking ugly for the Pomgolians. They had a very good day yesterday, and they are a bowler down. But today suggests they will lose. I think we are already beyond the best fourth innnings chase at the 'Gabba.

I DEMAND this writer (http://www.nationnews.com/StoryView.cfm?Record=31004&Section=LO) be brought forthwith to cover the Ashes. (link is to a report in the Barbados Daily Nation on the first ODI between India and the West Indies)

[everton]

Yes, it's not looking good. England needed another 60 at least and a third wicket before stumps to have much of a chance. It was depressing to see so many batsmen get a start, yet not go on to make three figures, especially on such a flat track. Batting's going to get much harder second time around.

All credit to Glenn McGrath, of course - forcing Butcher and Trescothick out so close together really swung things back around for Australia.

It's not over 'til it's over though.

[Buck The Diver]

Originally posted by woolly
First Test, Hussain wins the toss and sends the locals in on a batsman's paradise (all the talk about being positive getting pissed up against the wall). Then Caddick and Co serve up a continual stream of sodas and longhops and are twatted to all points of the Gabba. At the close Australia is 2 for 364 with the Poms one bowler down for the rest of the Test.

The most likely scenario now is for Trescowthick and Vaughn to get their first view of Gillespie and McGarth tomorrow afternoon chasing 500+. If they can dig themselves out of this mess, they really do have capabilities at Test level.

:confused:

I tried AltaVista, Babelfish and Google. All translation efforts were for naught. Maybe the crypto-computers at the NSA?

[everton]

Originally posted by Buck The Diver
:confused:

I tried AltaVista, Babelfish and Google. All translation efforts were for naught. Maybe the crypto-computers at the NSA?
Shouldn't need a crypto-computer, Buck – this is a sport Australians can understand ;). And one my fellow countrymen used to be able to beat them at :(.

Seriously though, there have been several threads discussing cricket, with weblinks to explanations of the rules for beginners/Americans if you're really interested. A search on "cricket AND rules" on the last three months or so should do it.


My explanations of some of wooly's post are in red...
First Test i.e. the first game in the currect series, Hussain the England team's captain wins the toss and sends the locals in decides to bowl (pitch) first on a batsman's paradise suggesting that Hussain's decision sucked (all the talk about being positive getting pissed up against the wall). Then Caddick and Co the English bowlers (pitchers) serve up a continual stream of sodas and longhops pitches your grandma could hit and are twatted to all points of the Gabba hit hard, often, and far away – the Gabba is the stadium they're playing at. At the close Australia is 2 for 364 well in command of the game (which lasts five days) with the Poms one bowler down for the rest of the Test one of the English bowlers picked up a ligament injury that will take six months to fix.

The most likely scenario now is for Trescowthick and Vaughn the first two English batsmen (batters) to get their first view of Gillespie and McGarth the frontline Australian bowlers tomorrow afternoon chasing 500+. If they can dig themselves out of this mess, they really do have capabilities at Test level ...and they could wallpaper the moon.


He was pretty much correct. Australia are going to win this game a day early. By the way, The Ashes is the name of the trophy the series is played for.

[everton]

wooly
At the time of writing my lads need 438 with only eight left. I'm ready to swap congratulations for commiserations any time you like. Pisser about those forest fires BTW - I hope nobody you know is involved and that they sort them out ASAP.

[everton]

9-79; Jones unable to bat of course, so that's that. Bloody hell.

Would this be a good time to play my Irish ancestral card in a vain attempt to pinch a bit of credit for the Rugby result?

[Ell]

Well well well. All out for 79. Kind of dissappointing really. Just 11 days to regroup and do it all again.

[woolly]

Poms all out for 79.

Aussies by 300 and plenty in four days .... smeg. :(

BTW everton, thanks for your translations. (must have hurt!)

Fires are a concern to the regions around Sydney, but the weather is giving some respite now. I'm on a peninsular in the inner west and a very long way from the action.

[everton]

Good to hear you're in a safe spot, woolly (I'll spell your name right this time). You won't be surprised to hear it's raining here, but that's no consolation to the firefighters. If I could send a few bucketfuls I would.

I must admit my fingers were wavering over that "...lasts five days" remark in my post to Buck The Diver, but 79 all out was beyond my worst fears at the start of play. The only consolation is that this team have been beaten heavily in the recent past yet have come back to win again. The last series against India was very strange - innings victories all round. Maybe Adelaide will be more to their liking?

It doesn't seem to have been worth my while staying up all night to listen to the radio, but you've got to lend support haven't you? Nasser is usually pretty good at rallying the troops but he does make some funny decisions along the way. Fielding first was not one of his best.

I'm taking heart from happy scorelines in the other sports I follow too. England beat the All Blacks yesterday (although the Kiwis won the Rugby League match v GB) and my own football team are doing pretty well at the moment too.

I hope the Barmy Army are behaving themselves, btw. But now I need a bit of a nap.

[everton]

Good to hear you're in a safe spot, woolly (I'll spell your name right this time). You won't be surprised to hear it's raining here, but that's no consolation to the firefighters. If I could send a few bucketfuls I would.

I must admit my fingers were wavering over that "...lasts five days" remark in my post to Buck The Diver, but 79 all out was beyond my worst fears at the start of play. The only consolation is that this team have been beaten heavily in the recent past yet have come back to win again. The last series against India was very strange - innings victories all round. Maybe Adelaide will be more to their liking?

It doesn't seem to have been worth my while staying up all night to listen to the radio, but you've got to lend support haven't you? Nasser is usually pretty good at rallying the troops but he does make some funny decisions along the way. Fielding first was not one of his best.

I'm taking heart from happy scorelines in the other sports I follow too. England beat the All Blacks yesterday (although the Kiwis won the Rugby League match v GB) and my own football team are doing pretty well at the moment too.

I hope the Barmy Army are behaving themselves, btw. But now I need a bit of a nap.

[Buck The Diver]

Thanks for putting it in terms even a Texan can understand, everton . That "sodas and longhops" line really had me scratching my head.

[don't ask]

Originally posted by everton

I hope the Barmy Army are behaving themselves, btw. But now I need a bit of a nap. [/B]

The Barmy Army are actually very popular here. One of the ABC commentators remarked that they must have the stoutest self image to be able to stay so upbeat while their team is being publicly humiliated. When I went to book tickets for the Sydney Test I found that 3 bays of concourse seating are reserved for the Barmy Army.

[everton]

That’s good to hear. I did a wine tour of South Africa a little while back and apparently they’d been through like a tidal wave a few months previously which hadn’t gone down too well :D.

Their attitude to cricket seems to be “if we can’t out play you we’ll have to out sing you” and I’m not surprised that attitude is well-received in Australia. They always seem to bring home happy stories of their trips Down Under however the team has performed.

[istara]

I went to every test in the last Australia Ashes series.

The high point was of course Melbourne, and particularly Alec Stewart's 107 - his first ever ton against the Aussies.

I am hugely doubtful England can win, but I hope we get at least one Test.

[everton]

I'm forced to recall that Stewart's "pair" at Brisbane was his first ever in 123 Tests :(.

[Andy]

Well, not having Sky, I was forced to stay up as long as possible with just Radio 4 LW for company. I was in a less than good mood getting up at 6 for work friday morning (after day one) after a couple of hours sleep. I swear the Aussie commentators were having the time of their lives laughing at Andrew 'If I bowl pies, maybe you'll get yerself out' Caddick. So I didn't bother listening to day two and it went OK. So I did make the effort for day three. Big mistake.
So other than having a good opening pair, not much has changed. We have seamers who cannot get wickets on flat pitches, spinners who don't turn the ball and batsmen who cannot bat under pressure.

It's a bit like having a crap wildcard finalist in the FA Cup....you'd scrap it or get two good teams to compete, eg Australia vs SA.

I'm sure we'll make a game of it in the fourth test though....once the series is lost and all ;)

[hawthorne]

That's the frustrating thing about Caddick: he bowls a bit for the sideboard, but the balls he bowled to Langer and (particularly) Ponting were unplayable. His best is plenty good enough.

[everton]

Originally posted by Andy
Well, not having Sky, I was forced to stay up as long as possible with just Radio 4 LW for company. I was in a less than good mood getting up at 6 for work friday morning (after day one) after a couple of hours sleep.
Know how you feel mate.
... So I didn't bother listening to day two and it went OK. So I did make the effort for day three. Big mistake.
So it was all your fault then, you Manc twat :D.

Hussain's performance at the post-match press conference wasn't too encouraging either I'm afraid. If past performance is anything to go by that's the only toss he'll win for the series and he blew the decision. Poor bloke.

[ElwoodCuse]

Did anyone materialize on the pitch on a Davenport? Was one of them wearing a dressing gown? Were there any robots that sounded like 100,000 people saying "whop"?

[woolly]

Having thunk and rethunk I'm not quite as drepressed as I was.

Firstly, the Poms were never going to get 200 in the 4th innings. I would have had serious reservations about the Aussies chasing 250 batting last. Vaughn got a stinker and Crawley run-out was farcical. Stewart showed how life kicks you in the goolies when you are down and being one short didn't help. So I reckon that while the 79 is a very poor headline, 150 wouldn't have sounded much better.

I thought their first innings showed greater depth than the Aussies, just they weren't gritty enough. If the runs aren't coming at four an over it was too hard.

So the issue is whether they can restrict the Aussies to under 300, preferably 250 on the first innings. They can do that with pie chuckers, provided they bowl the pies on a tight line and length (and field at an international standard).

The problem is that you can get optimistic about the prospects if and only if you and see them on parity in terms of mental toughness. Just like the Windies at their peak, put in one bad session and you're in deep trouble. Go back through the records of the last couple of years and see out how many times the Aussies, when things aren't going all their way and and under pressure, get a double breakthrough.

Any chance of getting V.V.S. Laxman a Euro passport pronto?

Hobart is a batsman's pitch, as is Adelaide so high scoring draws are on the cards. It's not over as a contest yet, though the Aussies have every right to assume there's no need for brilliance, just keep doing the basics right.