View Full Version : Great but obscure quotes

10-14-1999, 08:53 PM
Anybody have any quotes that are really good but not widely known?

"We start every day with a prayer: 'Oh God, please don't let me die today. Tomorrow would be so much better.'" -Fwiffo of Spathiwa

Heath Doolin
10-14-1999, 09:29 PM
Treat every day like its your last day on earth- A lot of whimpering and cryine and asking why while curled up in a fetal ball

10-14-1999, 09:32 PM
"We are not featuring masochism this season in hell, psychic or any other kind." - William S. Burroughs

"We must find the cause of this effect, or rather this defect, for this effect defective must have cause." - Shakespeare, Hamlet, spoken by Polonius

10-14-1999, 09:42 PM
We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by
embracing one another. -- Luciano De Crescenzo (b. 1928), Writer, author

10-14-1999, 09:49 PM
"Happy! Do you take me for an idiot?" - Charles De Gaulle to a journalist

10-14-1999, 10:45 PM
"Somebody had to do it. And it's really pathedic that it had to be us" - Jerry Garcia of Grateful Dead

10-14-1999, 10:53 PM
"For every complex problem, there is a simple solution. . . and it is wrong."
---John E. E. Dalberg-Acton, Lord Acton


10-14-1999, 11:00 PM
Descartes was one of those who think, therefore they are/Those who don't think, but are anyway, outnumber them by far -- Ogden Nash


Cowboy Greg
10-14-1999, 11:08 PM
"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." -- Albert Einstein

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

10-15-1999, 03:33 AM
The best Einstein quote, albeit not so obscure:

"There are two things in that are infinite: human stupidity and the universe. And I'm not so sure about the latter."

"You know how complex women are"
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

10-15-1999, 04:21 AM
"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum . . . and I'm all out of bubblegum."--Rowdy Roddy Piper

10-15-1999, 04:30 AM
Behind the ostensible government sits enthroned an invisible government owing no allegiance and acknowledging no responsibility to the people. To destroy this invisible government, to dissolve the unholy alliance between corrupt business and corrupt
politics, is the first task of the statesmanship of today.


During the whole period of written history, it is not the workers but the robbers who
have been in control of the world.

10-15-1999, 04:33 AM
Two more I'd like to share ...

"The state, it cannot be too often repeated, does nothing and can give nothing which it
has not taken from somebody."

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big
enough to take from you everything you have."


10-15-1999, 04:38 AM
"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds, distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some pharcical aquatic ceremony !"

Mony Python, The Holy Grail - stated by the most shabby and uneducated dark age farmer you could possibly imagine ;)

"You know how complex women are"
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

10-15-1999, 07:17 AM
"A Rolodex is a wonderful substitute for actual knowledge."----Robert Bork

Earl Snake-Hips Tucker
10-15-1999, 09:23 AM
"Look at the little monkey run" -- Howard Cosell.

Doctor Jackson
10-15-1999, 10:41 AM
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. -- William Clayton

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow

A witty saying proves nothing. -- Voltaire

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. -- John Kenneth Galbraith

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end---I shouldn't be at all surprised. -- Dorothy Parker

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

10-15-1999, 10:49 AM
'my name is enigo montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die'

we're all here, because we're not all there!

Kamino Neko
10-15-1999, 01:30 PM
See the .sig

'They couldn't hit an Elephant from this dist...!'

Last words of General John Sedgwick

10-15-1999, 02:33 PM
"Boys will be boys and girls will be girls, and if you want it any different you can join a Shubert chorus"--J.P. McEvoy

"Be Bold with Bananas!"--title of 1940s cookbook

"I'm going to Rector's to make a hit, and the hell with the rest!"--final line from scandalous play The Easiest Way, c1910

"Sleep is death without the responsibility"--Fran Lebowitz

"That's all there is; there isn't any more"--Ethel Barrymore

10-15-1999, 02:39 PM
"It is much easier to see ourselves as better than or worse than, rather than accepting that we simply are." - John "The Penguin" Bingham

Most common question I ask: "What?"
Most common question I get: "Are you really hearing impaired?"

J String
10-15-1999, 02:54 PM
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Fear Itself
10-15-1999, 04:17 PM
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." --George Bernard Shaw

10-15-1999, 04:39 PM
No pain, no brain.

"The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too." -- Matt Groening

10-15-1999, 05:01 PM
"I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt or a truth that anyone would believe." - Mark Twain

Saint Eutychus
www.disneyshorts.org (http://www.disneyshorts.org)

10-15-1999, 06:12 PM
"I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away."
-Oscar Levant, whoever the hell that is.

10-15-1999, 06:38 PM
How could people consider Volataire or Twain obscure?

"The revolution will not be televised."

10-15-1999, 06:53 PM
The OP didn't necessarily call for obscure people but for "quotes that are really good but not widely known."

Saint Eutychus
www.disneyshorts.org (http://www.disneyshorts.org)

10-15-1999, 07:52 PM
"Why is it the greatest champions of the white race always turn out to be the worst examples of it? YOU! Where the fuck is your chin?" Jesse Custer, addressing the KKK, in Preacher, by Garth Ennis

You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

10-15-1999, 09:25 PM
"She was gone, and I was an amputated leg"

Harlan Ellison, describing the feelings of a man searching for his wife

Yankee Blue
10-16-1999, 12:15 AM
"There has never been a night so dark as to hinder the coming day." -- John Brown from his prison cell

"Draw near to me, you who are untaught, and lodge in my school." -- Joshua Ben Sira

"It's not my fault!" -- Han Solo

10-16-1999, 12:16 AM
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.


10-16-1999, 12:36 AM
"If you take in a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

--Mark Twain

10-16-1999, 12:40 AM
I slept like a baby...

I woke up crying, with shit in my pants.

Dirty Devil
10-16-1999, 12:47 AM
"Herbivores ate well 'cause their food did never run." - Phish

10-16-1999, 09:37 PM
"If it wasn't hard everyone would do it; it's the hard that makes it great." From the movie "A League of Their Own."

10-16-1999, 10:09 PM
"When you've been around as long as I have, you know that the only worthwhile thing you can bring to a catfight are popcorn and a drink."

10-16-1999, 10:38 PM
See sig.


I can think of no more stirring symbol of man's humanity to man than a fire engine - Kurt Vonnegut

10-17-1999, 12:22 AM
The best Einstein quote, albeit not so obscure:
"There are two things in that are infinite: human stupidity and the universe. And I'm not so sure about the latter."

Where does Einstein say this? I've heard a version of it attributed to Harlan Ellison, as follows: "The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. And hydrogen ain't that common."

Here's a quote from Abe Lincoln: "I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying; and for this reason; I can never be saisfied with any one who would be block-head enought to have me." (letter to Mrs. Browning, April 1, 1838) Yes, it resembles Groucho Marx's statement. Also note the date. How long has "April Fool's Day" been a custom in the US?

10-17-1999, 12:47 AM
Melatonin: Oscar Levant was a piano player/composer/actor and friend of George Gershwin, and was fairly well-known in the 40s and 50s.He was famously surly. He was also, of all things, a formaldehyde addict.

To be on topic, two from E.E. Cummings (not e.e. cummings):

Be of love/ a little more careful/ than of everything

Remember love/by frequent anguish

10-17-1999, 09:05 AM
"We have met The Enemy, and He is Us."--Walt Kelly, political cartoonist & creator of Pogo.

10-17-1999, 09:40 AM
"You do it, I'm bitter." - Crow T. Robot

10-17-1999, 10:23 AM
"Never look back, something might be gainin' on ya."

Satchel Paige

10-17-1999, 08:59 PM
Oscar Levant was a pianist-actor-radio personality. He was also one of the biggest wise-asses on the planet. You can see him in "The Barkleys of Broadway" one of the best Astaire/Rogers movies, if you like.

"On the edge of sleep, I awoke to a sun so bright..."

10-17-1999, 09:15 PM
AzRaek: Is that a quote from Rush's Double Agent I see in your sig line?

You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

10-18-1999, 07:03 AM
Looks like Rush to me !

Another member for our little cult ;)

Ahem. See sig....

"You know how complex women are"
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

10-18-1999, 07:15 AM
- - - "A good artist shows all the details. A great artist shows only the details you'll remember." - unknown - MC

Shirley Ujest
10-18-1999, 08:40 AM
We may pass violets looking for roses.
We may pass contentment looking for victory.
-Bern Williams

Bigamy is having one wife to many.
Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

It is easier to love humanity as a one whole than to love one's neighbor. - Eric Hoffer

10-18-1999, 09:44 AM
"It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don't mean it." Jim Bouton, "Ball Four"

10-18-1999, 10:41 AM
"Bitterness robs you of Joy."

10-18-1999, 10:45 AM
He sounded like a kazoo during the somber part of a war requiem.

"So Long and Thanks For All the Fish"

D. Adams

10-18-1999, 01:47 PM
I don't know how obscure these will be thought. I work amongst a sea of mechanical engineers who would put Tolstoy in that category (as experienced, to my utter dismay, when I brought a copy of Anna Karenina to read during lunch). I tend to be captured by
the cynical - George Bernard Shaw "The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more point to the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one." Or Calvin (of the Watterson ilk) - "Why should I have to WORK for everything? It's like saying I don't deserve it!" Or else anything at all on the mind of Tom Robbins - "Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious and immature."

10-18-1999, 02:51 PM
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of one or the other about us in our minds wherever we go.

-Martha Washington

Peace on Earth = Purity Of Essence

10-18-1999, 06:03 PM
Love: A temporary Insanity curable by marrage. --- Ambroise Bierce.

>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry....unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<

---The dragon observes

10-18-1999, 07:59 PM
This is a rough paraphrase:
"I have come to the conclusion most dogs and very few people will make it to heaven." -- James Thurber.

"It's illegal only if you're caught." -- The Peyote Coyote

Jonathon David Palinor
10-18-1999, 09:11 PM
Two of my personal favorites:

"Ford was beginning to behave rather strangely, or rather not actually beginning to behave strangely but beginning to behave in a way that was strangely different from the other strange ways in which he more regularly behaved"
~Douglas Adams; Life, the Universe, and Everything

"Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said; 'one can't believe impossible things.'
'I dare say you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'"
~Lewis Carrol; Alice in Wonderland


Life is a tapestry.
Each new day brings with it the opportunity to sew by
word and deed within the heart of someone around us.
Let us choose our colors with care.

10-18-1999, 09:15 PM
Here's another one, but I've forgotten the author:
"The only interesting people are men with a future and women with a past."

10-19-1999, 09:37 AM
Two more:
"I can forgive but not forget is only another way of saying I will not forgive" - Henry Ward Beecher;
"Teach us delight in simple things
and fun that has no bitter springs
Forgiveness free of evil done
And love to all beneath the sun" - Rudyard Kipling.

10-20-1999, 12:38 AM
Cat, are sure that is the Nash poem? It seems a little unlike him. Would not it be more like this ?:

Descartes was 'I think therefore I am,', But those who think and are, outnumber those by far.

05-05-2000, 08:49 AM
"Bitterness robs you of Joy."

Seein as how that's Mrs. O's name, I shall take this one to heart.

"Evil is the cat!" -F. Engels, Anti-Dühring

05-05-2000, 08:52 AM
Can somebody help me with this one? I remember a quote from G.B. Shaw, something like:..."a lifetime of failure is a far more honorable thing than a life without trying"..but I can't seem to find this anywhere. Anyway, it's my favorite quote, because i've had more than my share of failure in this life!

05-05-2000, 09:25 AM
I am a collecter of quotes. The ones I have scribbled in my day planner that are worthy:

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost, there is where they shall be. Now put foundations under them. - Thoreau

A dreamer is one who can only fund his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. - Oscar Wilde

Fear not for the future, weep not for the past. - Percey Byshe Shelly

Dare to be naive. - R. Buckmeister Fuller

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had good thoughts. He had money as well. - Margaret Thatcher.

(translation of the dedication for an award for which she recieved from an African tribe) To Mrs. Thatcher, she upon whom is is unsafe to try any Oompus-Boomus.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Carl Sagen

(and my personal favorite):
The highest compliment one can be paid by another human being is to be told: "Because of what you are, you are essential to my happiness." Nathan Brandon

And a few of the less cliched Hamlet quotes, for good measure:

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are drempt of in our philosophy.

He was a man, take him for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again.

And the one that always gives me the shivers:

'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.

my goodness I like words.

05-05-2000, 10:07 AM
"I vill a little t'ink"
- when he was pondering a difficult problem.

05-05-2000, 11:55 AM
a few from my herd:

"Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it is impossible for anyone to accomplish. But whatever is possible for another, believe that you, too, are capable of it." -- Marcus Aurelius

"Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." -- David Lloyd George

"Recursion: The ability to talk to yourself and get an answer." -- Ralph E. Griswold (ok, so it's computer-nerd humor)

"I love humanity--it's people I can't stand." -- Linus of Peanuts

and my most personal contribution:

"Paranoia isn't desirable when working with computers...
It's an occupational necessity." -- me

(ok, so maybe you have to be a programmer dealing with NULLS to really appreciate that one.

Karen Too
05-05-2000, 01:37 PM
"Last night, I had that dream again. I dreamt I had to take a test, in a Dairy Queen, on another planet." --
Laurie Anderson.

05-05-2000, 01:53 PM
"Life is like licking honey from a thorn." Don't know who said it.

"The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt has real culture." Tom Taussik

"She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short." Clive Cussler on Marylin Monroe

Crown Prince of Irony
05-05-2000, 05:40 PM
"Everthing's an alternative to something."

Don't know who said it, but it sure puts things into perspective.

05-05-2000, 06:49 PM
"usual vault rules apply -- touch not, lest ye be touched." - brody bruce

05-05-2000, 07:35 PM
"When all hope is lost, pig-headed refusal to acknowledge reality will always save the day."
--Andy Ihnatko

"All kinds of people go out of their way to act weird. In the past, they were burned as witches. Now, they create alternative music."
--Ken Tanaka

"There is a God inside my PC. An Old-Testament God with lots of arbitrary rules and utterly no mercy."
--Joseph Campbell

"Possession is nine tenths of the law. Escape is the other tenth."
--Sigma Seven

"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun; you don't stare directly at it! You get a sense of it, you look away!"
--Jerry Seinfeld

"I try to commit at least one deadly sin each day. If I don't get around to it, I can always chalk it up to sloth."
--Robert Ragno

"I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass... and I'm all out of ass."
--Crow, MST3K #519 ("Outlaw")

"You probably mean 'sedentary'. I personally lead both a sedentary life in that I spend too much of my time sitting in front of CRTs of various designs, and a
sedimentary life in that everything I have is organized by how many layers down in the stack it is."
--Greg Morrow

"The Austrians have perfected the technology to turn everything into an alcoholic beverage."
--Dr. Eckhard Krotscheck

"Sometimes, I just hate being a woman. Then I remember I have big boobs."
--LauraRae, Straight Dope Message Boards