Does this make me evil?(kind of long)

[Shera]

Okay here is the situation. There is a girl where I work who seriously gets on my nerves. I am not the only person who hates her. In fact there is only one person there who likes her and she happens to be her best(and only) friend. There is a long list of my reasons to dislike this girl, here are a few of them:

She swears in front of the customers
She thinks farting noises are funny and makes them all the time
She has been caught stealing tips
She has a tendancy to cross peoples names of the shift schedule and put her name in their place.
She is downright mean to the new girl.:mad:

As a result of my hatred for her, a couple of my co-workers and myself have demised her downfall and are conspiring to get her fired or make her quit. Either would be suficiant, we just want her gone. So we don't talk to her except to tell her to do things. We cheerfully point out everything she does wrong. We peeled all of her stickers off of the counter (We are really mean aren't we). We tell our boss of everything she does from the tip stealing to the shift stealing to her rudeness to the new girl, and we won't switch shifts her when she need someone to work for her, we will only take her shift.

My question is, does my plotting against this girl make me evil? Should I be praying for my very soul? Also, any tips for assisting in her downfall would be appreciated, why not kill two birds with one stone?:D

[Flowerchild]

As a waitress myself, I know how these people can be. I dont think its horribly evil to want this woman gone. I'm suprised that she wasnt fired when you caught her stealing tips. If I were you,I would just stick to the tattling and try to catch her in every lie and mistake,if she wont leave you might tell your boss that her obscenity and vulgar noises are creating hostile work enviroment or something.

[Manda JO]

If you feel that she isn't doing a good job and is, in fact, making your job more diffucult, then it is perfectly kosher to bring this to the attention of the people who are in a positon to let her go (it certainly sounds like she dosne't belong in customer service). Feel free to carry a notebook and note down every thing she does that is inappropriate. Include the time and place by each incident, and turn in the log every week to your manager. He/she will love you for it--it's exactly what he needs to fire her.

However, it is not acceptable to try and make someon quit: what you are talking about is deliberaly making someone miserable so that they will go away. The issue here isn't what your actions do to the other girl--if she is as bad as you say, she's on her way out anyway--but what they do to you. Taking pleasure in causing someone else's pain and misforune, running about conspiring and plotting to bring new pain and misfortune on people and carrying those plans out is not good for you. It's habit forming. It makes you start to suspect that other people are plotting and conspiring to make you miserable.

So keep reporting what she does to your boss, but stop trying to speed up the process: if she is as bad as you say, it'll just take a few weeks. Be better than her-it'll make her own flaws and shortcomings stand out so much more. Give her enough rope and, I promise, she will hang herself with no help from you.

[Shera]

I have know idea why my boss hasn't fired her yet. I think she feels sorry for her becuase she doesn't really have many frinds or much of a life. Plus my boss hates firing people. The last person who got fired showed up 2.5 hours late for a 3 hour shift without giving us any info about where she had been or why she was late. The one before her stole money from the till. Our current problem didn't get fired for the tip stealing because she started crying when confronted and swore she wouldn't do it any more. My boss is to much of a softy.

[yosemite]

I agree with Manda JO. Conspiring against her is not good (though if I were you, I wouldn't speak to her unless I absolutely had to). Just document all the stuff she pulls.

And, if the boss is such a softy, why don't all the rest of you go up to him and confront him? Tell him how miserable this girl is making the rest of you. He's got to value all the rest of you more than her. She's just one trouble-making girl.

[NinetyWt]

At the very least maybe the boss could be convinced to cut her hours so ya'll wouldn't have to be around her.

But, I agree with Manda JO, it's not groovy to be intentionally mean to people. Regardless of how desperately they need killin'.

[The_Peyote_Coyote]

I think you are perfectly justified in conspiring against her, Shera. I see no reason in being nice to rude thieves.

As for your boss being a softy, truer words were never spoken. Most bosses I've had would have fired her in a New York minute for tampering with the schedule like that.

If your boss clearly values your work, try cussing out your thief (out of hearing of the customers, of course). When she makes those farting sounds, really lay into her verbally. Ask her to repay her stolden tips. Be as rude as you can be out of sight of the customers.

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

I worked a few food-service jobs out of high school, and I worked with a few real tweakers. But I only ever got one of them fired: he was consistently late to work, consistently slacked off while he was there, and talked smack about other employees behind their backs.

After one day when he showed up half an hour late for work (meaning I had to work overtime to cover for him), I wrote a letter to the restaurant's owner, politely and respectfully detailing my problems with him, item by item. I ended it by asking that he be terminated, or that if he wasn't terminated, that I not be scheduled to work either with him or immediately before him.

The restaurant owner knew me, knew that I was a hard worker and not a gossip. She thanked me. The slacker was fired.

Dunno if that'll work in your case, but I think you're best off dealing with it forthrightly. And do it in writing: that makes it carry much more weight in many folks' minds.

Daniel

[Shera]

The thing is that I have been reporting everything that she has done for at least two months now. I was the one who told the boss about the tip stealing, and the chedule problem and dher meaness to the new girl. I feel like a tattle tail. My boss keeps saying that next time she does something, she will fire her, but it never happens.

As for asking her to pay the tips back, I am not sure how much she stole so I can't really ask her to pay it back. It was over a long period of time where we were noticing that we got considerably less tips then we remembered recieving over the course of the night. For example on a busy friday night we would walk away with about forty dollars each, when normally under the same circumstances we would walk away with sixty each. We all got together (sans our main suspect) and discovered that it was only happening on nights that she was working. Then I caught her taking money off the tip tray pretending to put it in the tip jar and then putting it in her pocket. I am getting really frustrated.

[Manda JO]

I would suggest going over your boss's head, then. As suggested above by DanielWithrow, write a letter to the owner of the store (or your boss's boss, if that is not the same thing) detailing exactly why you don't wish to continue working with this woman. Focus on her dishonesty and on customer disatisfaction with her work, and the steps you have taken (coverversations with her, conversations with your boss) Then show the letter to your boss and tell him/her that if he does not deal with the problem, you will have to send the letter. Do NOT exaggerate anything: if the truth isn't sufficient to make your letter interesting, don't write it.

[cuauhtemoc]

Creating a hostile working environment constitutes harrassment. I can understand that you want her gone, but this isn't the way to go about it. You have to document your grievances against her and take it to management.

[Shera]

Originally posted by Manda JO
I would suggest going over your boss's head, then. As suggested above by DanielWithrow, write a letter to the owner of the store (or your boss's boss, if that is not the same thing) detailing exactly why you don't wish to continue working with this woman. Focus on her dishonesty and on customer disatisfaction with her work, and the steps you have taken (coverversations with her, conversations with your boss) Then show the letter to your boss and tell him/her that if he does not deal with the problem, you will have to send the letter. Do NOT exaggerate anything: if the truth isn't sufficient to make your letter interesting, don't write it.

I would go with that suggestion except my boss doesn't have a boss. It's a small family owned restuarant. The owners are the bosses. I will just have to wait for her to screw up enough to really piss off my boss. Maybe I will get lucky and she will get caught stealing tips again. Then she will be history.

[kirk280980]

We had a bit of trouble when our boss left and was replaced with someone else. The guy was a tyrant, made it clear who he didn't like, and made their lives hell (he REALLY didn't like me). Unfortunately, the company management were not interested in our concerns, and basically told us to quit whining. So, no luck there.

However, he did have one particular flaw which didn't do him any good; he was incredibly light fingered. Television sets, satellite receivers and vacuum cleaners went missing from the stock room, and ended up in the back of his car. Also, he was in the habit of fiddling the paperwork, in order to give staff discount to his friends and acquaintances.

This is where all the staff banded together and decided to do something about it. First, we started to record details of every peice of stock which went missing and was unaccounted for. When we witnessed it going into the back of his car, we recorded that in writing too. Pretty soon, we could see the correlation between what was missing and what he was taking home - everything matched up. Finally, every time he fiddled the numbers on sales paperwork, we discreetly took photocopies which were kept safely at home by a member of the sales staff, just in case the originals suddenly went "missing" and he tried to pin the blame on us instead.

Two months later, we all went up to the manager's office as a group, and handed over everything we'd recorded. In addition, we sent copies to the security department at company HQ, and kept copies for ourselves as well. Next thing we know, he's being asked to attend a meeting with the company's security manager.

Turns out he was invited to resign and leave gracefully, in return for not being prosecuted. We all gave ourselves a big pat on the back when we heard the news. Maybe we couldn't get rid of the guy on the grounds that he was a total bastard, but we did a great job of revealing him for the thief he was. Score one point to us!

[Guinastasia]

Perhaps you could all band together and ask your boss if she would prefer the rest of you quit?

I mean, stealing tips and altering schedules? This boss must be a TOTAL pushover!

[Cat Whisperer]

You're only responsible for your own actions, not hers. Do you feel bad about giving her a hard time? Then don't do it. Like other people have said previously, being mean to someone else on purpose can be hard on your soul; you still have to answer to your own conscience for what you do to other people.

[rocking chair]

bosses usually don't fire someone unless they are sure they will not be sued or if the person is costing them money. should you be able to prove that the person is costing him money by customers leaving because of her, or her hand in the till, you may be able to get her fired.

unfortunatly her hand in the tip jar takes money from the employees not the employer.

[kevja]

what featherlou said.

[Zebra]

Do you all pool your tips and then split them? Stop doing that and then see how much she makes in tips without the rest of the nice waitresses.

Now this may burn on your soul for a long time but customer complaints carry more weight then co-worker ones generally. After all she is probably saying things behind your back to the boss, so he might be thinking it's just something between you two. But if some customers, who are always right :rolleyes: complained to the boss then maybe...



If that don't work cut off her favorite horses head and put it in her bed with her while she is asleep.

[Zebra]

Or on the other hand you could ask to have a store meeting and try to calmly talk to her about what bothers you. She may have some complaints about Saint Shera so be willing to listen. After all if she changed her behavior you would be just as happy as if she quit.

[Shera]

Originally posted by Zebra
Do you all pool your tips and then split them? Stop doing that and then see how much she makes in tips without the rest of the nice waitresses.



Yes, we pool our tips. Always. Even if the customer tells us to keep it all. It is a very small restaurant. There are are only twelve tables and they are rarely all full. We tried not pooling once and it got ugly. We all started fighting over tables and I think it may have scared the customers a little. It is now restaurant policy to always pool the tips. It does on occasion really suck, but it makes the pressure to get a table a little less stressful.


Originally posted by Zebra

Or on the other hand you could ask to have a store meeting and try to calmly talk to her about what bothers you. She may have some complaints about Saint Shera so be willing to listen. After all if she changed her behavior you would be just as happy as if she quit.

She does have complaints about me which she will tell anyone who will listen. These all stem from her main problem with me which is that I won't buy beer for her and am thus deemed "a little baby".:rolleyes: That's supposedly a direct quote by the way. She talks back to me all the time too. I know that she hates me. I was nice to her and actually kind of liked her, until I found out the things she was saying behind my back. I have been trying to be civil with her but it just gets more and more difficult. I overheard her talking to her friend about getting a job at a local casino, because she can make more money. I am really hoping that she decides to take it. :Crossing my fingers:

I swear to god, if she calls me Chewbacca one more time I am going to go ballistic.

[Gary T]

...I have been reporting everything that she has done for at least two months now.

For example on a busy friday night we would walk away with about forty dollars each, when normally under the same circumstances we would walk away with sixty each.

She's has sometimes reduced your tip earnings by 33%, and this crap has been going on for two months?! Sounds like your boss isn't the only pushover there. Why do you continue to work at a place that allows this to happen?

[Zebra]

Why don't you leave and get a new job. Or at least tell the boss he can choose between smelly, lying, cheating beast girl and you as employees?

If she is too young to buy beer isn't she too young to work at a casino?

Hey I like Chewie!

[AHunter3]

Tori:

so I want to kill this waitress
she's worked here a year longer than I
if I did it fast, you know,
that's an act of kindness...

[lovelyluka]

I certainly don't think you're evil, and I'd have to fight doing the same thing.

But with everything you do back to her, you lose credibility. You tell your boss, "She rearranges the schedule without asking!"...well, you do too. You say, "She's swearing at people!"...well, if you cuss her out, you would too. So now you have created a second (and third and fourth and fifth, with all your coworkers) problem for your boss. Granted, it sounds like you're not going to get fired for it, but you have to watch what you do, in order to keep from being a hypocrite.

[Shera]

Originally posted by lovelyluka
I certainly don't think you're evil, and I'd have to fight doing the same thing.

But with everything you do back to her, you lose credibility. You tell your boss, "She rearranges the schedule without asking!"...well, you do too. You say, "She's swearing at people!"...well, if you cuss her out, you would too. So now you have created a second (and third and fourth and fifth, with all your coworkers) problem for your boss. Granted, it sounds like you're not going to get fired for it, but you have to watch what you do, in order to keep from being a hypocrite.


I am not sure what you are trying to say here. I have never changed the schedule without discussing it with the person who's place I will be filling and my boss first. I have never cussed her out. In fact I rarely swear at all, and defenatly never at work As far as being mean to her the only thing that I have done is not talk to her and peel her stickers off of the counter (which my boss actually asked me to do. I just found sick pleasure in it.) The only reason that I am the one who always gets stuck tattling on her is becuase none of the other coworkers have the guts to do it.

Origanally posted by Zebra
Why don't you leave and get a new job. Or at least tell the boss he can choose between smelly, lying, cheating beast girl and you as employees?

If she is too young to buy beer isn't she too young to work at a casino?

Hey I like Chewie!

I don't want to get a new job, becuase I have been there for four years and have a lot of seniority. I can take time off whenever I want, and I get whichever shifts I want. Plus I get along great with my boss and most of my coworkers. She has only been there six months. I won't loose a job that I otherwise love because of her.

I believe that you only have to be eighteen to work in a casino. At least that is what the ads say. She is eighteen.

I have no problem with her calling me Chewbacca (my name is Becca so it kind of makes sense.) It's the way she says it that bugs me. Like she holds some sort of power over me becuase she can call me that.

[Guinastasia]

Try telling your boss she's creating a "hostile work environment".

Get your coworkers to back you up. Stealing tips and rearranging the schedule to fit her needs?

Sheesh.

[js_africanus]

It sounds like your motive is dishonorable, but your actions sound just.

Taking you at your word, it sounds like you have been patient and kind, and have been pushed to the limit. Is that correct? It may prove fruitful to re-evaluate yourself because sometimes we can be really mean without really knowing it. I'm not suggesting that you have, but the meditation will be healthy regardless.

Don't be mean, or conspire to hurt people. I imagine that sometimes one must take action of the less than honorable sort (sometimes the straightest path is through the mud), but always behave in an impeccable fashion if you think the circumstance may ever arise.

Purchase, read, and meditate on Baltasar Gracian's The Art of Worldly Wisdom: A Pocket Oracle. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0385421311/qid=1038977642/sr=1-3/ref=sr_1_3/103-5717359-6485436?v=glance&s=books

Be extra nice to the new girl.

Here's a story to help put it in perspective: I used to pick up stiffs for a funeral home. One time my roomate and I were smoking a little something (if you know what I mean) and the pager rang. I was in a pretty good mood as I went to the old folks home to get this guy. In the room, as the staff and I were getting him prepared and on to the cot, one of the guys stopped and apologized for being so disrespectful to the deceased. I had no clue--I was in such a good mood that I was humming little tunes to myself, but it turns out that they were making some mean comments to the dead guy. The staff member explained to me that, "Mr. Such-and-so really wasn't the nicest person in the world." That was a powerful moment. I suppose that Mr. Such-and-so was dead anyway, so what did he care what people were saying about him? But what really stuck with me is that I don't want to be a Mr. Such-and-so, where people are actually pleased to stuff me in a body bag. It sounds like your co-worker is going to be a Mr. Such-and-so someday, and it is so sad that she can't seem to change that course.

Best of luck.