Top ten things that make you realize you are in bad economic times

[GIGObuster]

10) Even though certified and with experience, you will be tested before actually applying to a job, even in a temp place.

9) You learn to ignore that new pain now that you do not have health insurance.

8) You read that a company’s stock still goes up if they fire 10.000 workers

7) You notice that Gb’s law of recessions is true: The more balloons you see in a car dealership, the deeper the recession is.

6) You now even apply for jobs that require drug testing. (No problem here: clean in that regard, but you have to start a job in an environment were they treat you like a criminal even before getting in. (how about if in exchange they submit to surprise audits? Hey, I want to know if my new paranoid job will be there a year or two from now!)

5) There are job openings for your skills but 200 people apply always before you do!

4) You encounter more companies that demand a faith statement even for tech positions! (Sure, when the computers fail it is the devil’s fault!)

3) Half of your coworkers in a print shop were making loads of money before working there. Now you hear those cliché “in my day” nostalgic tales coming from guys who are not older than thirty!!!!

2) You begin to love the 99 cent stores. (loved a recent display of colorful piggy banks! :cool: )

And coming at number one:








1) The help at Fry’s electronics * suddenly is knowledgeable!…..





…….. Sometimes, Some A-hole salesman told me last week a MOBO had no Ethernet and I bought an unnecessary network card. :rolleyes:



*(Put your local big computer store here instead of Fry’s)

[Broomstick]

You know you're in bad economic times when the panhandlers on the street corners all have pinstripe suits and briefcases.

You know you're in bad economic times when an airline captain mentions he needs a second job to make ends meet -- and he's applying at McDonald's

You know you're in bad economic times when walking through the financial district and you see a woman in a red "powersuit" and heels wearing a sandwhich board that says "Will Audit for Food"

[Annie]

Originally posted by GIGObuster


4) You encounter more companies that demand a faith statement even for tech positions! (Sure, when the computers fail it is the devil’s fault!)



What on God's blue and green earth is that ? Certification of Christian Purity?

[Duck Duck Goose]

You know you're in bad economic times when a homeless woman walks into a brokerage office and claims she has money invested there--and they don't throw her out.

http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/South/12/07/holiday.reunion.ap/
Stockbroker reunites homeless woman, family
Saturday, December 7, 2002 Posted: 8:11 AM EST (1311 GMT)

NASHVILLE, Tennessee (AP) -- Stockbroker Michael Guess has worked downtown long enough to recognize a homeless person. He knew Alice Perley was one as she walked off the elevator into his office this week.

"She was just kind of unkempt," Guess said Friday. "There's a certain look."

A meek woman with piercing eyes, the 48-year-old Perley told Guess she thought she had an investment account with his firm, A.G. Edwards & Sons.

But she didn't know when or where. She said the account might be in another state.

A skeptical Guess invited Perley into his office and told her he'd look into it. Now, there is one hungry stockbroker, lemme tell you.

[jacksen9]

You know you are living in bad economic times when:

- you call about an ad in the job section that reads: Bonus Army
- you are selling your plasma twice a week
- you are buying Roman Noodles in bulk
- you are drinking Old Milwaulkee Beer
- you are excited to discover that you can use coffee grounds twice if you add one heaping spoon of fresh grounds to the filter basket
- you search for cheaper rent has you with a property manager that eagerly shows you an apartment with shag carpet and dead roaches on the floor
- you roll all of your coins so you can get a cheap hair cut
- you are buying gas 5 dollars at a time
- you secretly hope nobody at work buys you a Christmas present
- you know the highs and lows of the aluminum can market

Been there. Done that.

[Qadgop the Mercotan]

Nicely done, Jacksen9. I hope you don't mind if I take it to a lower level, having worked for many years with the homeless.
- you call about an ad in the job section that reads: Bonus Army
You go to the Salvation Army for shelter
- you are selling your plasma twice a week
They won't take plasma anymore because it's too watered down, so you donate cervical mucous to infertile women (yes, this is done)
- you are buying Roman Noodles in bulk
You get generic raman noodles, and eat them without all that expensive boiling
- you are drinking Old Milwaulkee Beer
You quit drinking alcohol
- you are excited to discover that you can use coffee grounds twice if you add one heaping spoon of fresh grounds to the filter basket
you quit drinking coffee
- you search for cheaper rent has you with a property manager that eagerly shows you an apartment with shag carpet and dead roaches on the floor
You check out apartments in buildings that have no property manager. Or electricity or water.
- you roll all of your coins so you can get a cheap hair cut
You cut your own hair
- you are buying gas 5 dollars at a time
No need to buy gas if you don't have a car
- you secretly hope nobody at work buys you a Christmas present
Not a problem. You haven't worked since the dotcom boom.
- you know the highs and lows of the aluminum can market
You know the highs and lows of the stolen copper wire market.

[lucwarm]

Originally posted by GIGObuster


3) Half of your coworkers in a print shop were making loads of money

:eek:

(Ok, so I misread it . . . but I kinda liked my misreading!)

[Forbin]

Originally posted by Annie
What on God's blue and green earth is that ? Certification of Christian Purity?

I'm wondering too.
There are employers who demand that you testify to your christian beliefs?
If the answer to that is yes, I find it reprehensible.

[Silentgoldfish]

You apply to work at a telemarkter firm and are turned down as "all our positions are full."

[Bryan Ekers]

You start collecting squirrel recipes.

[Tuckerfan]

Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose
You know you're in bad economic times when a homeless woman walks into a brokerage office and claims she has money invested there--and they don't throw her out.

http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/South/12/07/holiday.reunion.ap/
Now, there is one hungry stockbroker, lemme tell you. Actually, if she's the woman I'm thinking of, he didn't throw her out because he knew she was most likely telling the truth! There's a homeless woman who lives near Nashville, who actually comes from a family with money. According to a newspaper report that was published on her a few years ago, she went through a divorce and for whatever reason, chose to be homeless (she's probably the only homeless person in America who's doing that voluntarily), even though her family's quite well off.

[KarmaComa]

- You pound through degree after degree, because fellowships are better than salary.

What's with the stigma about reused coffee grounds?

[jacksen9]

Qadgop Mercotan
They won't take plasma anymore because it's too watered down, so you donate cervical mucous to infertile women (yes, this is done) :eek:

I worked at a plasma center in the '80s. I thought they stopped doing this. For some reason, it seems unethical or something. Although, I know this stuff is needed and valuable. So, if you donate plasma at a plasma center, where would one go to donate this cervical mucous? They pay for it?

Hmm. Free Market.

No stigma with the coffee. I think the taste is better with fresh grounds. Maybe that is just in my head. Oh... Qadgop... I went to Rome to get my cheap noodles. :D

[KarmaComa]

They're RAMEN, not ROMAN! :smack:

[jacksen9]

Right. But who knows, maybe you could get em at the WalMart in Rome.
Ha... I should own stock in the company. Hey, is there a cheaper meal to be had? Other than a soup kitchen?

[GIGObuster]

Originally posted by Forbin
I'm wondering too.
There are employers who demand that you testify to your christian beliefs?
If the answer to that is yes, I find it reprehensible.
He, Unlike Cartoonuniverse I expected a Great Debates II environment of cite collecting. :)

This not only happened to me, but to other dopers as well. It seems that religious institutions think people will not complain in this economy; sadly, I think they are right.

I began this list thinking on blasting all the current problems I have, but somehow it became funnier; gloomily, most list items are totally true. :(

[Patty O'Furniture]

When management says that they're offering a 20% cut in pay & benefits for next year's labor contract, and upon hearing this the workforce expresses their relief with a collective "whew".

[Forbin]

Unbelieveable!
Wrong in so many ways too!
:(

[barton]

Originally posted by Forbin
I'm wondering too.
There are employers who demand that you testify to your christian beliefs?
If the answer to that is yes, I find it reprehensible.

I applied at a moderately-sized university which will go unnamed a week ago. I popped into the HR office, glanced through the postings, 'Must be a current member of *local church omitted*'.

I resisted the urge to do a Church Lady impression. "Does the church of.... SATAN count?"

I should have expected it, really, but I'm new to Arkansas. Menial computer work must be approved by God.


Other top tens:

You cannot get a job at McDonald's.

You run out of toilet paper and reach for your degree.

You're now underqualified for your past jobs, despite the experience you gained during the intervening years.

[Bricker]

I'd say it's wrong if they're hiring a database designer.

If they're hiring a religious education teacher, it strikes me as perfectly reasonable.

- Rick

[Forbin]

Yes, I hadn't thought of that one Bricker.
You're right.

[hansel]

You know, the company where I work does require passing a drug test to be hired. And we do submit to surprise audits.

[GIGObuster]

Of course, in my case, it was not a teacher position.

[truthbot]

...you know the economy is in deep trouble when...

..you use both sides of the toilet tissue
..a hooker offers you a Palm Pilot instead of a hand job
..Warren Buffet gives you a shoe shine
..Top Ramen is considered your 'Sunday Dinner'
..Day Trading means selling off a kidney for your next Happy Meal
..you find yourself negotiating to put a pound of hamburger on lay-away at a Super-WalMart
..your alligator shoes leave you for something "better"

[lel]

This not only happened to me, but to other dopers as well. It seems that religious institutions think people will not complain in this economy; sadly, I think they are right.

Not to be contrarian or anything, but there's many Christian techies out there who prefer the chance to work at a Christian organization which requires a faith statement because they know that they will be in a Christian environment.

[Doc Nickel]

Originally posted by truthbot
...you know the economy is in deep trouble when...

... Your "Top Ten" list has only seven entries.

:D







(Somebody had to do it!)

[neutron star]

Not to be contrarian or anything, but there's many Christian techies out there who prefer the chance to work at a Christian organization which requires a faith statement because they know that they will be in a Christian environment.

And that is applicable to the repair of computers, how, exactly? Do they have prayer meetings about IRQ conflicts?

I might feel more comfortable working with people who only eat McNuggets on Thursdays, but it doesn't mean I'd put a McNugget clause into the contract.

[lel]

Originally posted by neutron star
And that is applicable to the repair of computers, how, exactly? Do they have prayer meetings about IRQ conflicts?

I might feel more comfortable working with people who only eat McNuggets on Thursdays, but it doesn't mean I'd put a McNugget clause into the contract.

Well, you'd have the option in a Christian organization. If we're talking about a Christian organization, it just doesn't seem proper for them not to be encouraging each other's spiritual growth and the spiritual growth of all involved, whether or not that is a primary function. And while they probably don't have prayer meetings over IRQ conflicts, they possibly do pray at meetings.

As for McNuggets, it's unlikely they mean as much to you and a significantly large group of people as Christianity does to many Christians.

[RobertTB]

Originally posted by neutron star
And that is applicable to the repair of computers, how, exactly? Do they have prayer meetings about IRQ conflicts?



You must not work in the tech field. Praying to The Powers That Be is a rather popular, if not effective, thing to do when servers emit Magic Smoke.

[lel]

Also, I continued the faith requirement theme here (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=149061).

[Doc Nickel]

Originally posted by RobertTB
You must not work in the tech field. Praying to The Powers That Be is a rather popular, if not effective, thing to do when servers emit Magic Smoke.

-Tried it, doesn't work. I prefer the Audio Invective method. Even if it doesn't cure the problem, it sure makes me feel better. And after long practice with various smoke-powered devices, I've found I can now anneal metals verbally.

[iamthewalrus(:3=]

Do they have prayer meetings about IRQ conflicts?
Is that how you fix those damn things? It has to work at least as well as everything I've tried.

[Steve Wright]

I've had a server or two exorcised in my time. Never hurts to make sure.

Incidentally, I work for a company where one of the senior developers works part-time as a barman to make ends meet, and at least one designer can be seen on street corners at the weekend, busking for spare change. Seriously.

[Ferret Herder]

Originally posted by Doc Nickel
-Tried it, doesn't work. I prefer the Audio Invective method. Even if it doesn't cure the problem, it sure makes me feel better.

I like "percussive maintenance," myself. ;)

Where I work requires pre-hire drug testing, but I work in health care, so that makes more sense.

[Maeglin]

On Park Avenue around 48th street, I occasionally see a rather well-dressed beggar with a large placard:

Will Code For Food

[msmith537]

You no longer relate to movie characters like Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver), Peter Gibbons (Office Space) or Tyler Durden/Jack (Fight Club) who provide a disturbing reflection of the modern world because they...unlike you...have what now seems like a pretty cool job.