I'm not going to freak out, I'm not going to freak out, I'm not........

[Batsinma Belfry]

......going to freak out.

Wahhhhhhh! I'm all alone! :(

hillbilly king is gone for the week, (training for new job).

I'm all alone except for dog, cat and kid.
Everybody I know is atleast 50 miles away.
And no car!

Atleast I haven't started staring at the backdoor, waiting for him to come home, like the dog has.
I expect I'll be doing that by Wednesday.

[Munch]

Seems to me it's time to dredge up old threads. I present:

I'm making a man (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=53999)

[cher3]

I was going to say how much I envied you until I saw the part about the kid and no car.

What kind of a deal is that?

[CRorex]

Just get a wheelbarrow and hitch the kid and dog to it and BINGO! Zero emission (provided you don't feed either beans) transportation!

[dorkusmalorkusmafia]

You call yourself a hillbilly? You don't even have a pig. :P How old is your kid? If your kid is old enough you can start enstilling him/her with the habits of a good cook. You are never to young to start learning that craft.

[slortar]

If you're a hillbilly, can't you just go out back and shoot critters for amusement? :)