I just got stood up!

[SpazCat]

GodFUCKINGdammit. I HATE being stood up. That is the A-number-one way to lose my trust. And believe you me people, it is VERY easy to do that. It is NOT easy to regain it when you've lost it either. He better be prepared to talk very very fast when next we meet or I will remain in this mood. ESPECIALLY since I was hoping to do some trading for jewelry which I wanted to give to my sisters for Christmas. AND bought cookies from Old Salem for his Christmas presents. Cookies which I will now SMASH INTO TINY CRUMBS IN FRUSTRATION.

In short: DO NOT tell me one thing and then go do another without telling me first. EVER. I don't care who the fuck you are. DO NOT STAND ME UP.

There are not enough mad smileys in the world to express the fury burning in me right now.

[Shadez]

I understand. My SO is chronrically late to everything. I should just add 10 minutes to everytime I want to meet... One time, he was late for lunch. We meet for lunch every Tuesday/Thursday and have for the last two months. When I saw him next he said "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize we were meeting today." WTF?

My sympathies.

/Shadez

[Honey]

Originally posted by SpazCat
There are not enough mad smileys in the world to express the fury burning in me right now.

When you hear from him and he begins his fast talking, act totally clueless and pretend you had forgotten that you had a date.

[Ludovic]

And then there's the girls who say

"let's definitely hang out together next time we're at a party"

then, when they dont and you call them on it, they say "oh, i didnt mean that were we REALLY going to hang out, i meant, it would be cool if we did, but to tell you the truth, i dont really remember saying that"

Okay, fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, you're a fucking liar.

Then before the next party:
her: "let's totally go see a concert after the party"
me: "do you really mean that? I mean, last time you were just throwing that out"
her: "I totally mean it"

(yeah, right, I say......sure enough she was just talking)

well, PROMISING something (vs just making throwaway plans) and then not delivering is about the quickest way to lose MY trust. and I dont ever forget any personal slight. I don't act on my frustrations, but i have a definitely larger "scoresheet" than most men.....you'll have to win me my trust back before i'll trust you.

finally:

HER: "I think you have some trust issues"

WTF!!!! holy smoking batshit! out and out lying to me more than once, and you find it STRANGE that I dont trust you? what world are you living in?

[Honey]

Originally posted by Ludovic
WTF!!!! holy smoking batshit! out and out lying to me more than once, and you find it STRANGE that I dont trust you? what world are you living in?
Duuuude, we should like totally go see a cool movie together tomorrow night. It would be major radical man. I promise I'll call you in the morning. ;)

Just kidding with ya Ludovic. It sounds like you've been hurt by a couple of women who were afraid to be honest with you and took the easy way out, instead of telling you that they weren't interested.

Don't get cynical, you'll find someone worthy of your trust.

[Lissa]

AND bought cookies from Old Salem for his Christmas presents. Cookies which I will now SMASH INTO TINY CRUMBS IN FRUSTRATION.

Don't smash them! Eat them! At least you can get something good out of this situation. Or donate them to a food drive, so someone else can enjoy them.

This guy is obviously a loser. Unless a relative died, there's simply no excuse for this inconsiderate, rude behavior.

It happened to me once. "It'll never happen again!" the guy promised. To which I replied, "You're damn right. 'Cause you're never going to have the opprotunity."

[Astroboy14]

So... there's NO chance that he was in a car accident, or something else happened that was unforseen and caused him to be unable to call you and give you warning of his impending failure to show?

I guess I need more details...

[Keith Berry]

It could be worse......

Back in 96, a roommate of mine had a horrible crush on a cute bartender at the dump we used to drink at.....and after some shy parleys and a lot of red-faced gibbering, actually managed to set a date up with her. They planned to meet at the bar, so she could pick up her paycheck, and then go somewhere else.

My roommate arrives at the designated time. The girl is no-show.

Calling her only gets her voicemail. He waits an hour, then a hour and a half, then two hours.

Then, she finally arrives.....dressed stunningly......and on the arm of some other guy.

My poor roommate was utterly hurt and furious. Not only was he stood up, he was stood up for another guy, another date, but at the SAME place. He confronted her and asked her what the deal was.

Her reply was: "Oh! Sorry....must have gotten my calender mixed up." And she got her paycheck and left.

Horrible, utterly despicable.

[Chimera]

After a long drought, I was lucky enough to have two women interested in me. Seeing the competition and thinking she had an easy advantage, one of them put the moves on me big time (in front of friends) and promised the moon and the sun. Then, fifteen minutes before I am to leave work to meet her for our first date, I get a fucking E-mail! saying that she's cancelling to go flying with her brother (telling me that it would be more fun).

Un fucking believable.

She didn't understand why I was upset. She understood less how she had completely lost my trust and interest. She was definitely not happy when I proposed to the other woman a few months later.

"But don't you want to have a relationship with me?"

Nope.

[Mockingbird]

My condolences, Spaz. It sucks to be stood up. Though if they could do this, isn't it good to know they were worthless slime already?

[Shakes]

Originally posted by Keith Berry
It could be worse......

Back in 96, a roommate of mine had a horrible crush on a cute bartender at the dump we used to drink at.....and after some shy parleys and a lot of red-faced gibbering, actually managed to set a date up with her. They planned to meet at the bar, so she could pick up her paycheck, and then go somewhere else.

My roommate arrives at the designated time. The girl is no-show.

Calling her only gets her voicemail. He waits an hour, then a hour and a half, then two hours.

Then, she finally arrives.....dressed stunningly......and on the arm of some other guy.

My poor roommate was utterly hurt and furious. Not only was he stood up, he was stood up for another guy, another date, but at the SAME place. He confronted her and asked her what the deal was.

Her reply was: "Oh! Sorry....must have gotten my calender mixed up." And she got her paycheck and left.

Horrible, utterly despicable.

Holy crap! That bitch needs to be pimp slaped!!

ftr i don't really advocate the violence towards women.

[welby]

Sorry Spazcat I was going to post here Saturday but I totally forgot.

Really.

It had mothing to to with my drinking habits either.

[TwistofFate]

eep. I'm terrible for this. I'm late for everything. Time planning is just not my forte. I'm a bit scatterbrained about it.

I don't do it out of spite, just forgetfulness or situations out of my control.

[Angel of the Lord]

Argh. This pisses me off, too. I'm about to go to the mall with a friend, and I'm picking him up and driving, 'cause otherwise he'd be 45-frickin'-minutes late getting here. I'm habitually on-time-or-earlier, and, in fact, cannot recall a single instance where I was late to class without a pass, or more than 5 minutes late to meet someone without calling.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

I once got stood up, via the box office phone, outside of a theater! I was standing there waiting in front of the theater where this girl and I were supposed to meet. Suddenly I hear the box office cashier's voice calling out..."Hey...Are you Javaman?" Then he hands me the handset through the little opening at the bottom of the window, and it's her on the line. She had some cock-n-bull story about how she changed her mind or something.

[catsix]

I was late to pick someone up on Saturday by 15 minutes. Unfortunately my habit of driving slightly faster than the speed limit led to getting pulled over. I didn't get the ticket, and once I apologized and explained my lateness, I was forgiven.

Thankfully. Because the guy is very cool and I would hate to blow a potentially good friendship over that.

[BonoVox]

I guess I was stood up once, as the date never happened. I met her at the bar, and we decided to go to a movie the next day. She gave me her number, as I was to call in the morning to set the rest up. When I did call, it was the number for the local Y.M.C.A.

[Dogzilla]

Originally posted by TwistofFate
eep. I'm terrible for this. I'm late for everything. Time planning is just not my forte. I'm a bit scatterbrained about it.

I don't do it out of spite, just forgetfulness or situations out of my control.

Just be aware that this is considered rude, inconsiderate and obnoxious behavior by many (myself included) and everything you posted above, to me, sounds like nothing more than lame-ass excuses to be irresponsible. Last person who gave me all those excuses, I replied with, "Well, then you must not have much respect for yourself. Because you obviously do not have enough respect for me to be considerate of the plans I've made for you." The guy was completely floored that I considered his chronic 30-45 minute lateness rude. He just thought it was his quirky little thing, part of his charm or something.

IMHO, these situations are entirely under your control. Under the few circumstances (death, coma) I can think of where they are not, you could at least have the common courtesy to call ahead and let people know when you're going to be late.

Standing someone up, IMHO, is inexcusable and the fastest way to lose my attention.

[lezlers]

I've got no paitence for flakes.

I'm always on time if not early for everything, and I don't flake on anyone. I've got a cell phone and I use it if I'm going to be more than 5 or 10 minutes late (which is hardly every)

I ended a friendship over someones flakiness. My friend Kim was just a total flake. It was her personality, which I told myself again and again when she would flake, as to not totally blow a gasket.

We made plans for Halloween last year about a month in advance. We talked regularly and every time we talked I reconfirmed our plans because I didn't want to have to scramble for an alternative at the last minute. A couple of days before I told her that if there was any chance she might flake to let me know so I can have a plan B waiting. "No no!" she said "We're totally gonna go out!" Mmm hmm.

That day I called her to set up a time and she said "oh, you know, I'm gonna be working late tonight and I'm kinda tired, I'm not gonna make it, but go ahead and do something with someone else." I told her "well I asked you a couple of days ago if there was any chance you were gonna flake so I could make alternate plans, now it's too late" Then she had the brass balls to get snippy with me.

Bitch. As you can see, I'm still a little bitter. :mad:

[lezlers]

Oh yeah, I never spoke to her again, she was one of my best friends too.

Another friend of mine saw her recently and she just ran up to her, gave her a big hug (the friend hasn't spoken with her either for the same reasons) and asked "so how's lezlers? We should all hang out soon!"

This was a year later.

Flakes are un-fucking-believable sometimes...

[Gatopescado]

Here is the definition of a true friend:

Send your Tom Cruise look-a-like buddy to score a date with the hottie you have had your drawers in a bunch over. Have her wait at the bar for him on the night of the big event. Make her wait, hopefully drinking, for a long time. Have buddie call her and issue up lame excuse for not showing.

Swoop in and snag the stunned bird!!

Goddamn! That is the worst thing I have ever read, let alone typed! What the fuck are you thinking? Are you trying to alienate everyone on this message board?? Get a grip, Gatopescado!!

_________________
Move along! Nothing to see here!

[Keith Berry]

Another good tactic is utilizing the "bullet-stopper".

The Bullet-Stopper is merely that one male fellow out of a group who has a particularly hard time meeting/talking/succeeding with women. He's not necessarily a nerd or a socially maladjusted, but sometimes is. More often, he's had bad experiences dealing with women, and they've reduced him to the point of neurosis.

So if you see a group of ladies out in public or at a party, you send him over first....."Say, go over and say hi to those girls, I gotta go get a drink right now but I'll be over in five minutes".

Wanting to turn his bad luck around (and enforced by psychological-behaviorlistic rhetroic from you about the need to conquer his problems by forceful action) he'll then go right on over and proceed to make a hack job out of introducing himself, utterly unimpressing the ladies.

And that's when you enter Stage Right......"Hey there!" If everything works right, then you'll be such an improvement over your Bullet-Stopper friend in the eyes of the ladies that you'll do fairly well.

This is awful and inhumane, granted. But it does work.

[Captain Blunty]

I have a friend who was totally burned by this guy who she was crazy about.

They met at a bar one night and hit it off so well that they went home together (she must have really liked him, as she doesn''t normally do that.) They spent the next day and a half together before he left, giving her a mobile phone number and promising to ring her. My friend was so happy. She really liked this guy.

Fast forward one week, when, after no phone call or emails, she decides to give him a call. Well, the conversation went something like this:

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this X?"

"Who?"

"Oh, I''m sorry, is X there?"

"Ah... no.... you must have the wrong number."

Well, she came out of her bedroom looking crestfallen, so I told her to dial it again. Maybe she misdialled or something. Nope. The prick gave her the wrong number! What a fucking snotass!

He stood her up on the phone!!!!!

Standing someone up is totally rude and it shows no consideration for a person's feelings. If you don't wanna meet with someone, tell them before you make a date, for fucks sake!

Simple! :smack:

[Rilchiam]

I've been scanning the threads I missed while I was away, and I had to drag this one up.

In the summer of 1992, I was stood up three times. That's right, three times.

First time was by the guy who worked at the newsstand. He'd been toying with me for months, and I finally called his bluff and asked him to come with me to a Pirates game. We were supposed to meet at the newsstand. When I got there, he wasn't, and his brother told me the guy was "visiting his son...and his son's mom." Well, I wasn't too fazed by that, since I hadn't had a real emotional investment in the guy, but I didn't think the brother needed to add, "Maybe this is his way of telling you he doesn't want to get involved." Really. Maybe "his way" could have been to decline the invitation outright, eh?

Second time was by a guy in whom I did have an emotional investment. He was out of town for the summer, but came back for a weekend. He called, and we agreed to meet at such-and-such place, but didn't nail down a time; it was just supposed to be whatever time the bus got him there. Well, I show up and he doesn't. I finally track him down at the hotel. Long story short, the bus had gotten him to the meeting place sooner than I could walk to it. But---he waited five minutes for me. I waited an hour and a fucking half. He didn't have as much invested in me as I had in him. I should have been able to see that earlier...

Third time is the one that still burns my ass. It was Friday night, and I wanted to see Holy Grail at the Playhouse, but I let this fucknugget talk me into dinner instead, someplace really nice. I get all dolled up and arrive at Station Square early. This time, I only waited half an hour before packing it in. When I finally caught up with this fuck, he claimed to already have been at Station Square, and what was I upset about? Dinner? He'd been having dinner. Yeah, with someone else, what of it? Oh...that. Well, see, I had been supposed to call him midweek, to remind him. Since I hadn't, he'd forgotten and made other plans. And he really didn't appreciate people cursing at him in public.

Now, I know I was better off without him, and this would have been our first "date" anyway. But god damn it, I could have been watching Holy Grail on the big screen, in a theater! I never got to see it thus, and still haven't! And since revival theaters are going the same way as drive-ins, I probably never will! I only hope that, by now, karma has caught up with him. (I did the right thing with the newsstand guy. In that case, I just went on to the game and enjoyed it anyway.)

Mr. Rilch and I met and started dating in the spring of 1993. He never stood me up, and was never late. Came close once (Reservoir Dogs at the Beehive), and told me afterwards that if he'd known of my past history, he would simply have opened a vein while he was stuck in traffic. But see, it meant just as much to him!