View Full Version : Rant
Liberal
12-26-2002, 06:48 AM
Gratuitous usage of shit, piss, fuck, motherfucker, tits, cocksucker, and cunt.
Longwinded whine about the unfairness of moderators and the cliquish solidarity of other Dopers.
Question as to why Poster was banned.
Link (http://www.straightdope.com) to thread intended to vindicate Opening Post.
Ice Wolf
12-26-2002, 06:56 AM
Obligatory questioning of the OP's sanity and ability to write a post.
Generous spicing of post with obscenities, 50% of the total made-up-on-the-spot.
Some remarks about whining and troublemaking added as an afterthought.
Liberal
12-26-2002, 06:59 AM
Smartass retort.
Maxxxie
12-26-2002, 07:00 AM
Nitpicky correction of spelling and possibly a comment about the OP's mother.
Atreyu
12-26-2002, 07:06 AM
Inevitable expression of deja vu (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=36067).
Ice Wolf
12-26-2002, 07:08 AM
Lengthy quotation, in bold and with underlining, of the OP's second post.
A derogatory revisiting of the OP's posting history, complete with bloopers.
Some questions as to why OP is so concerned with "The Banned", anyway. Facetious pop reference inserted for good measure.
Jackmannii
12-26-2002, 07:15 AM
Feelings of ennui.
Idea that "Facetious Pop Reference" might have utility as a band name.
Vague support of small number of OP's complaints.
Expression of sympathy toward the banned party.
Tapioca Dextrin
12-26-2002, 07:22 AM
Totally unrelated point made for no reason, probably claiming that the OP is disgustingly deviant. Need to explain religious convictions. Don't forget to mention that it was someone else's idea and I was only obeying orders.
Forget to add tip.
cuauhtemoc
12-26-2002, 07:25 AM
Non sequitir comparing odor of exhalations of poster's cat to cat food.
Jonathan Chance
12-26-2002, 07:36 AM
Pathetic attempt to remind posters that excessive rudeness in the Pit may be accepted but not required.
apotheosis
12-26-2002, 07:38 AM
Cite (http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=1999-05-25&res=l) for relevant web comic.
Ferret Herder
12-26-2002, 08:32 AM
Post consisting of nothing but the rolleyes emoticon.
Fenris
12-26-2002, 08:35 AM
Unreferenced rolleyes, which, since unreferenced everyone takes personally.
catsix
12-26-2002, 08:35 AM
Obligatory totally irrelevant post proving that the poster has been sufficiently wooshed.
Fenris
12-26-2002, 08:37 AM
Invective directed at Ferret Herder for pre-posting my point by about 3 minutes
Zanshin
12-26-2002, 08:40 AM
Expression of affection for pie.
Ferret Herder
12-26-2002, 08:43 AM
Snide comment to Fenris insinuating that his delay in posting time correlates to an inability to process information quickly.
Second snide comment made comparing this favorably to an unmentioned poster-in-thread's complete inability to read for comprehension.
Left unposted: Forehead smacking to self IRL for failing to make the point as well as Fenris did.
Liberal
12-26-2002, 08:46 AM
Appeal to emotion. Emphasis. Anger. Chest beating assurance that Poster will leave board and never return.
Jonathan Chance
12-26-2002, 08:47 AM
Good riddance statement.
Followed by disbelieve that we should be so lucky.
Delta-9
12-26-2002, 08:49 AM
Complaint that this has been done repeatedly in the past.
Tapioca Dextrin
12-26-2002, 09:10 AM
Points out spellng mistakes in th OP, implying that the OP is therefore involid.
States as fact that <insert name of racial/sexual/religious minority> is obviously inferior to <insert some other racial/sexual/religious monority> thereby proving <insert wildly tagential thing>
NoClueBoy
12-26-2002, 09:26 AM
Slight hijack to comment on immenent demise of some other doper not even posting in this thread.
Apology for hijack
Lame attempt at parody of OP.
Gratuitous use of the word "Belgium"
Frank
12-26-2002, 09:32 AM
Comparison of moderators, especially those living in Europe, to Nazis.
Impassioned, incoherent, and irrelevant defense of free speech.
Jonathan Chance
12-26-2002, 09:34 AM
Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin
Points out spellng mistakes in th OP, implying that the OP is therefore involid.
Mocks spelling mistakes.
NoClueBoy
12-26-2002, 09:37 AM
Unwarranted attack of last poster, including seven links to different threads, each link followed by long commentary of 1st and 4th Ammendment rights.
Opinion stated as fact with cite to back it up
[Accidental cite post to porn site.]
Long, profanity filled sub post in re site I thought I linked to
andymurph64
12-26-2002, 09:42 AM
Stupid personal anecdote marginally related to OP topic.
Pathetic attempt to tie stupid personal anecdote to OP topic.
Bad News Baboon
12-26-2002, 09:43 AM
Originally posted by Jonathan Chance
Mocks spelling mistakes.
mocks this post and makes reference to Gaudere's Law.
Tapioca Dextrin
12-26-2002, 09:44 AM
Originally posted by Jonathan Chance
Mocks spelling mistakes.
Attempts to cover tracks claiming that English isn't first language or that correct spelling is an imposition forced on someone or another by oppressors since the dawn of time (which was about 14 years ago given the maturity of other other posts).
Asks everyone to leave me alone (but continues to flame away merrily).
Tapioca Dextrin
12-26-2002, 09:45 AM
Originally posted by Jonathan Chance
Mocks spelling mistakes.
Attempts to cover tracks claiming that English isn't first language or that correct spelling is an imposition forced on someone or another by oppressors since the dawn of time (which was about 14 years ago given the maturity of other other posts).
Asks everyone to leave me alone (but continues to flame away merrily).
Double posts
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 09:48 AM
Non sequitir, having nothing to do with cat exhalations, but everything to do about sex.
Frank
12-26-2002, 10:00 AM
Denigrates NoClueBoy, stating argument is too puerile to counter.
Refers to many private emails supporting characterization of moderators.
Jackmannii
12-26-2002, 10:09 AM
Further mocks mispelling of "non sequitur" while ensuring that own post will contain at least one spelling mistake.
Atreyu
12-26-2002, 10:24 AM
Admonition to everyone regarding the providing of sustenance to under-bridge dwellers.
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 10:42 AM
Use of "Smack" smiley along with self degrading for cutting & pasting someone else's spelling error.
Siege
12-26-2002, 10:51 AM
Plea for people to be reasonable. Attempt to explain why Poster A and B are not idiots. Admonishment to Poster C that while s/he may not be an idiot, that's the way s/he comes across.
Dangerosa
12-26-2002, 10:52 AM
Complement on original use of word turdburgler in rant.
Rate: 7.5 out of 10. (Note Russian judge lowballed).
EasyPhil
12-26-2002, 11:02 AM
Purely non-sensical, stream of consciouness, all rant, no substance, cuss-word laden, race-baiting OP, resulting in meglomaniacal super pit flame fest.
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 11:06 AM
Cite (http://sinfest.net/d/20010616.html) for relevant web comic.
(Completely ignoring the fact that another poster has done this for a different, more popular web comic.)
Patty O'Furniture
12-26-2002, 12:02 PM
Appeal to moderator for reinstatement of banned member, with special holier-than-all-of-thou implications that poster is using absolutely no profanity in this post.
wonders, "can't we all just get along?"
mumbles something about giant squids.
Avalonian
12-26-2002, 12:24 PM
Impassioned plea to [i]"Consider the children!"[/b]
Coding error.
Ulterior
12-26-2002, 12:30 PM
Wonders what the hell giant squids have to do with anything, with a newbie's plea for someone to explain it to me.
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 12:35 PM
Lament that this thread is unsuited for Threadspotting because of all the profanity.
Patty O'Furniture
12-26-2002, 12:42 PM
Wonders what the hell giant squids have to do with anything, with a newbie's plea for someone to explain it to me.
Reference to a thread in another forum (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=151926) that may explain things, with a side note that poster is not totally sure because he has no intention of opening up a thread that is 5 pages long.
Smashed Ice Cream
12-26-2002, 12:46 PM
Snarky comment pointing out that the OP is a big chicken because he hasn't returned to the thread except to make a smartass retort to the first poster.
Lame use of phrase "the terrorists have already won" that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
Begins countdown to OP'ers meltdown.
Wonders what the hell giant squids have to do with anything, with a newbie's plea for someone to explain it to me.
Ignores earlier answer.
Link to specific post (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=2757799#post2757799)
mumbles something about The Cliqueä
Scuba_Ben
12-26-2002, 01:18 PM
Originally posted by This Year's Model
Comparison of moderators, especially those living in Europe, to Nazis.
Tirade against the quoted comparison as being unfair and derogatory towards the Nazis.
Thread hijack to criticize various organizations that make the Nazis look decent.
Plea for a special, this-post-only smiley.
NoClueBoy
12-26-2002, 01:26 PM
Originally posted by This Year's Model
Denigrates NoClueBoy, stating argument is too puerile to counter.
Posts real life Name, address, phone number of This Year's Model.
Vague reference to cheese.
Asks inane question of OPer, and flames him out of spite for supposed slight in other thread not linked to.
Attempt at sexist or racist humor to underscore point, noting that this post is sure to edited by evil Mods.
Liberal
12-26-2002, 01:31 PM
Self-righteous plea in the name of all that is holy.
Condemnation of everyone whose moral code is unlike mine.
Invocation of Deuteronomy.
NoClueBoy
12-26-2002, 01:45 PM
Claims extreme offense taken at invocation of Deuteronomy.
Asserts my Deity is better than your Deity.
Lists 17 scriptural verses out of context with one or more words bolded in each text.
[reading bolded words from top to bottom spells out extremely viscious insult]
Pleas with all to join my cause/religion/sexuality because Deity will smite you all, so there!
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 01:45 PM
Detailed description of a utopia founded on the principles of a political theory that the general populace assumes that only potheads are into.
Tapioca Dextrin
12-26-2002, 01:58 PM
Mocks OP for being late to his own funeral. Accuses OP of being black/jewish/gay/straight/unobservant/right wing/left wing/ various other incompatible positiosn, having carnal knowledge of various farmyard implements/non-corporeal beings. Claims intimate knowledge of various other posters' parentage.
Frank
12-26-2002, 02:12 PM
Sarcastic comment about OPer's returning after promising to leave.
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 02:26 PM
Question about "Deuteronomy" being one of the characters in the musical Cats.
Idle wondering about what catfood his breath smells like.
Liberal
12-26-2002, 03:05 PM
Originally posted by This Year's Model
Sarcastic comment about OPer's returning after promising to leave. Excuse #1.
Excuse #2.
Emotional appeal to pity. Long and irrelevant story about unhappy childhood.
Tapioca Dextrin
12-26-2002, 03:14 PM
Attempted witty comment about OP still being in childhood fails to amuse anyone.
Harangues OP over comment made in post made two years ago.
iampunha
12-26-2002, 03:35 PM
Drive-by witness by poster with single-digit postcount. witness consists of long strings of words, no paragraph breaks, lots of exclamation points and is the religious equivalent of whipped cream in a swimming pool. Annoying, but it'll dissolve soon enough and you won't see it after.
___________________________
sig line; horrible translated passage about stinking feet to high heaven and "waiting for him to come wash mine".
Jackmannii
12-26-2002, 03:42 PM
Refers to pulling up forbidden item of outdoor furniture in which to relax and observe the combatants.
Tiresome invocation of someone called "Opal".
Smashed Ice Cream
12-26-2002, 05:08 PM
sentence (http://www.straightdope.com) consisting (http://www.straightdope.com) entirely (http://www.straightdope.com) of (http://www.straightdope.com) links (http://www.straightdope.com) to (http://www.straightdope.com) previous (http://www.straightdope.com) flameworthy (http://www.straightdope.com) things (http://www.straightdope.com) the (http://www.straightdope.com) OP (http://www.straightdope.com) said (http://www.straightdope.com) in (http://www.straightdope.com) other (http://www.straightdope.com) threads (http://www.straightdope.com)
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 06:09 PM
Tirade that by some simple Googling, numerous cites in support of the OP's position can be found.
l[List of aproximately 10 links, two of which are simple restatements of things already mentioned in the thread, one which actually hurts the OP's case, and one of which is a 404] (http://http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=152653&pagenumber=2)
Suprisingly decent paragraph of supporting evidence for OP's position. Concluding sentence for paragraph contains a glaring "Complex Cause" Causal Fallacy, however.
deathawk
12-26-2002, 06:45 PM
Mandatory pie reference.
Desmostylus
12-26-2002, 06:50 PM
Discussion of characters in LOTR.
Desmostylus
12-26-2002, 06:51 PM
Apology for posting in wrong thread.
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 07:00 PM
More details about a utopia based on a political system that some confuse with anarchy.
Lisa Simpson Quote.
Persephone
12-26-2002, 07:02 PM
Expression of puzzlement about whether or not OP is a parody, followed by question concerning which thread OP is parodying.
Patty O'Furniture
12-26-2002, 07:19 PM
Observation that SC_Wolf has posted way too many times in this thread and contributed surprisingly little substance.
Implication that aforementioned poster has nothing better to do.
Recommendation for same to obtain, by whatever means necessary, a life.
TheWatcherInTheWater
12-26-2002, 09:18 PM
Complaint about numerous discussions of characters in LOTR.
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 09:35 PM
Exasperated rant at Attrayant. Defensive posturing about not having tried to dig up flamebait from other threads in the OP's posting history, unlike others in this thread. Suggestion that Attrayant focus his attention to the flamers.
Threat that if this poster's contributions to the debate aren't shown the proper appreciation, this poster will flood the thread with scatalogical-oriented posts, in hopes of attracting lieu to give everyone a real gross out.
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 09:40 PM
Lengthy if somewhat incomprehensible post explaining in explict detail why PotHeadAnarchytopia is relavant to the discussion at hand.
Desmostylus
12-26-2002, 09:41 PM
Prediction of train wreck.
sailor
12-26-2002, 09:49 PM
Keen observation that someone forgot to take their medication and would do well to stop posting until such time as the pills have the desired effect.
Obligatory list with a tired reference to Opalcat.
Ice Wolf
12-26-2002, 10:27 PM
Bemusement that this thread is still staggering on, long past the use-by date.
Desmostylus
12-26-2002, 10:42 PM
Onomatopoeic word suggestive of laughter and/or milk spurting from poster's nose, as a result of Sailor's post.
SC_Wolf
12-26-2002, 10:49 PM
Question about the maturity level of the other posters in this thread.
Appeal to return to the issue in the OP, why was certain poster banned.
Desmostylus
12-26-2002, 10:52 PM
Violent disagreement with SC_Wolf about meaning of OP, leading thread in direction of predicted train wreck.
astro
12-26-2002, 11:48 PM
Inchoate, babbling fury that anyone would think that A can be compared to B in any way shape or form!!! Take potshots at mods and call everyone who disagrees with me a retard. Shortly become so agitated and filled with steaming anger my bowels can no longer regulate themselves and I soil my pants.
Make smug parting comment.
Snooooopy
12-26-2002, 11:56 PM
I'm naked.
Sam Stone
12-27-2002, 12:11 AM
Vision Fading.
Must. Reach. Lever.
No Strength left.
Assume heroic pose!
Worst. Rant. Ever!
NoClueBoy
12-27-2002, 12:21 AM
Beneath the Planet of the Apes reference noted.
Assertion that Star Wars was better.
Flames random doper that has yet to post here.
Finds other niggling point in OP to refute with blithering illogic.
Threatens to leave SDMB.
Desmostylus
12-27-2002, 02:41 AM
Post about LOTR again, this time using it to liken other posters to Nazis.
Appeal to dubious authority. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=152046#post2755586)
FriarTed
12-27-2002, 08:12 AM
Outrage at use of racially-charged word "n*ggling"
Homerish "Mmmmmm- catfood
pie
milk spurting from nose
blithering illogic."
Scuba_Ben
12-27-2002, 08:29 AM
Appeal to family authority who served at the Nuremburg War Crimes Trials, showing that I am more qualified than other poster to liken people to Nazis.
Reference to Treasure of the Sierra Madre, which nobody recognizes because it's not the common misquoted version.
Frank
12-27-2002, 09:04 AM
Reappears to demand why nazi mods have not banned posters for referring to other posters as nazis.
Statement of believe in the innocence of banned poster.
Refers to many private emails, instant messages, billboards, and radio commercials in support of stance on mods.
Froths at mouth briefly in re SDMB cabal.
NoClueBoy
12-27-2002, 09:33 AM
Entire post in Esparanto with glaring syntax errors.
Bubba Ray
12-27-2002, 10:00 AM
Senseless pop culture reference that no one finds funny anymore.
Jonathan Chance
12-27-2002, 10:09 AM
One liner designed to stroke poster's vanity and ease tension.
Shodan
12-27-2002, 10:50 AM
Suggestion that poster three pages ago do the research to disprove a point no one is arguing.
Regards,
Shodan
Beagle
12-27-2002, 10:54 AM
Random tangent virtually unrelated to OP.
Questioning validity of earlier cites. Statement noting the obvious bias.
Stroke ego of earlier poster, who is so funny.
SC_Wolf
12-27-2002, 11:06 AM
Statment of understanding now why the OP threatened to leave and never come back. Anger. Solemn vow NOT to leave, because that would be an admissin that the Cabal has won.
Call for solidarity among those who agree with the OP's views. Numerous references to the position of the OP as "The Cause".
SC_Wolf
12-27-2002, 11:08 AM
Added as an afterthought: Rant about all the LotR spoliers in this thread or linked to from this thread. General bitching about not having been able to see it yet.
sailor
12-27-2002, 12:03 PM
Expression of disgust at the pointlessness of it all.
Statement of desire that the thread die a quick death.
Tapioca Dextrin
12-27-2002, 12:36 PM
<expletive deleted> you sailor! You don't know what the <expletive deleted> you're talking about. You and everyone else are just little <expletive deleted> suckers who will burn in the <expletive deleted> of <expletive deleted>. How the <expletive deleted> are we supposed to a <expletive deleted> pit rant when little <expletive deleted> like you come by and <expletive deleted> your <expletive deleted> in your <expletive deleted> whilst not <expletive deleted> understanding my <expletive deleted> you <expletive deleted><expletive deleted><expletive deleted> and your <expletive deleted> mother and her <expletive deleted> puppy dog <expletive deleted><expletive deleted> I'll come round your <expletive deleted> and stick a <expletive deleted> up your <expletive deleted>ing <expletive deleted> using a flaming <expletive deleted>. That'll show you you <expletive deleted>ing <expletive deleted>.
istara
12-27-2002, 12:54 PM
Deckchair.
Rubbing hands in glee at impending meltdown, though not actually participating.
SC_Wolf
12-27-2002, 12:56 PM
Inquiry as why Tapioca is quoting from the leaked script to the next Kevin Smith film.
cuauhtemoc
12-27-2002, 01:03 PM
Originally posted by Bubba Ray
Senseless pop culture reference that no one finds funny anymore.
Assertion that all OP's base are belong to us.
Indication of hurried flight from scene intended to evade objects being hurled at poster by offended onlookers.
Tapioca Dextrin
12-27-2002, 02:17 PM
Expresses remorse for leaving a comma out of the final sentence of last post. Admits that said post was made at 4 am after a sixteen hour drinking binge in the company of three underage crack whores. Realises that this would be illegal and complains about the inability to edit own posts.
Jackmannii
12-27-2002, 03:18 PM
Profound wish that thread not be mysteriously resurrected two years from now.
Jackmannii
12-27-2002, 03:20 PM
Profuse apologies for launching page 3.
Completely offbase prediction of what we'll be discussing on page 5.
Eutychus
12-27-2002, 03:43 PM
Warning from moderator kibitzing in the wrong forum.
Anita Vacation
12-27-2002, 04:20 PM
Newbie, thinking that she is posting a reply here, revives a three-year-old thread instead.
Mighty_Girl
12-27-2002, 04:32 PM
Veiled accusation that a poster defending the banned poster *might* be a sock puppet. Lame excuse explaining that she might be wrong and does not wish to imply that said poster is really a sock.
Frank
12-27-2002, 04:44 PM
Calls kibitzing moderator names.
Refers to many private emails, instant messages, billboards, radio commercials, referenda, State of the Union addresses, and U. N. resolutions in support of stance on mods.
Froths at mouth at great length in re SDMB cabal, allegations of wearing hosiery, implications that poster is about to suffer a meltdown, and anything else that comes to mind.
Gets banned.
Ice Wolf
12-27-2002, 04:48 PM
Starting with meaningless hijack, just for the sake of postcount padding, then graduating up to the statement: "Sod a bloody deckchair, mate -- I'm all for bringing in a lounge suite or two and sellin' tickets!"
Then remembers such is strictly forbidden around here, apologises, and takes it all back (except the sofa, which is kinda comfy).
Eutychus
12-27-2002, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by This Year's Model
Calls kibitzing moderator names.
Refers to many private emails, instant messages, billboards, radio commercials, referenda, State of the Union addresses, and U. N. resolutions in support of stance on mods.
Froths at mouth at great length in re SDMB cabal, allegations of wearing hosiery, implications that poster is about to suffer a meltdown, and anything else that comes to mind.
Gets banned.
Wonders why poster failed to call mod a Nazi.
Desmostylus
12-27-2002, 05:02 PM
Makes inappropriate reference to "Banhattan".
Frank
12-27-2002, 05:08 PM
Originally posted by Eutychus
Wonders why poster failed to call mod a Nazi.
Poster forgot part of the theme.
Mighty_Girl
12-27-2002, 05:33 PM
Tells This Year's Model to go perform unnatural sexual acts with a deceased horned ruminant mammal.
Frank
12-27-2002, 05:49 PM
Thiss Year'ss Modell (post count of 1) attacks Mighty_Girl for her attack on This Year's Model (no relation).
Mr. Blue Sky
12-27-2002, 06:00 PM
Poster who wonders why a Mod hasn't slammed the door on this thread despite previous warnings about starting threads like this and rants about how much he hates Jim Carrey.
Persephone
12-27-2002, 08:36 PM
Vain attempt at humor by mentioning that moderator seems to have forgotten that by his own admission, he is not actually a Nazi, but a simple jack-booted thug.
NoClueBoy
12-27-2002, 10:28 PM
Post link to a site showing that all middle aged NAZI males share the same genetic markers.
Suggest Raelins control SDMB, points to Eutychus's post as an example.
Uses numerology to prove previous point.
Wonders aloud why an underaged whore would be on crack and not meth.
Flames Tapioca Dextrin for inconsistancies in logic from GD thread, linked here.
Wrongly uses scatological adverb to describe current state of thread, instead of adjective.
Claims God-like powers.
Desmostylus
12-27-2002, 10:37 PM
Sneers at competing pit thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=152950).
Regrets having used the term "meta-rant" several days ago and probably triggering all this nonsense.
Persephone
12-27-2002, 10:41 PM
Declaration of utter confusion and bafflement, wondering where in the Sam Hill previous poster got the impression that current poster is "underaged."
Desmostylus
12-27-2002, 11:10 PM
Misinterprets Persephone's post as an unjustified personal attack. Melts down. Gets banned.
Shirley Ujest
12-27-2002, 11:19 PM
Challenges No Clue Boy's God-like powers citing bizarre circular thinking typed in all lower case letters, no punctuation and barely cohesive.
Shirley Ujest
12-27-2002, 11:23 PM
Shows outrage that someone would even think of having unnatural sex with a deceased horned ruminant mammal. Lists various organizations to stop USWADHRM, which poster is a regional leader for.
Storms off in disgust.
Desmostylus
12-28-2002, 06:53 AM
Bumps thread.
NoClueBoy
12-28-2002, 07:22 AM
Parody of OP, but not a very good one...
27 rolleye smilies
(28 would be overkill but 26 didn't carry enough weight)
Desmostylus
12-28-2002, 08:09 AM
4000 bored smilies. Pit apology.
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