Doper Theme Songs

[Fenris]

Doper Theme Songs.

Over in this thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?s=&action=newreply&postid=2869465), Guinistasia wrote

Originally posted by Guinastasia
This isn't a pick up board, that's why. Yeah, we flirt and joke around, but in general, we're more interested in conversations, rather than a hook up scene.

:: sob ::

You just shattered my dreams. I was all set to ask if you wanted to star with me in a mid-'60s themed TV show! :(

I mean, think about how wonderful it coulda been...

:: fade out ::

< '70's TV Narrator Voice-over >
She's a wacky liberal
He's a stodgy conservative
Together they're cops!

< sprightly theme song music >

Meet Guin who supports most every cause
From rent control to same-sex marriage laws
While Fenris leans way to the right
and he supports George Wallace's fights.
They both hunt outlaws

'Cause they're po-lice,
They're police partners all the way
One set of matching bookends
Different in every way.

Guin adores all songs from "Hair",
Ol' Nick. Krushev, pics of Red Square
He oft shoots suspects on patrol,
Goldwater makes Fen lose control!
What a crazy pair!

Still they're partners
They're police partners
and you'll find
They fight about miranda rights
they're as different as day and night!
What a wild pair!

Still, can love be far behind
When Police Partners
Are of opposite kinds?*

< /theme music >

See? It coulda been great. :: sob ::

;)

So, fellow Dopers: I challenge you: Distract me from the anguish of Guin's off-handed remark and do your own Doper Theme Song.

Fenris

*note that the positions/viewpoints/actions attributed to Guin and me were chosen 'cause they were funny and rhymed. Do not assume that these are her or my actual positions.

[Guinastasia]

You're weird, Fenris, but I still wubs joo!!!

[Gyrate]

There's a man who leads a life of gumbo,
Filled with jambalaya mumbo jumbo.
His heart is in the swamps,
But each troll and sock he stomps;
Odds are they won't live to post tomorrow.

Secret Cajun Man
Secret Cajun Man
They've made you Moderator
And licensed you to flame.

He deals with Pointless Stuff Sunday to Sunday
Hoping for his mug from Cecil one day
His forum is Mundane
But let me make it plain:
Mess with him, and you won’t see tomorrow.

Secret Cajun Man
Secret Cajun Man
You’re the New York City artist
With a Loo-siana name.

[butter pie]

My theme song is Edwyn Collins "A Girl Like You."

It plays in my head everytime I enter a room.

I'm weird, I know.

[vivalostwages]

(mangled Beatles, obviously)


He's a real NoClueBoy,
Using the Straight Dope as a toy,
Posting just as often as he can.

Changes "location" all the time,
Anywhere he is must feel just fine,
NoClueBoy, how can we keep up with you?

NoClueBoy, he keeps Trekkin',
NoClueBoy, huntin' and peckin',
NoClueBoy, these threads are at your command....

[Hometownboy]

Well, if it's mid-60s-themed TV shows you want, how about.....

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful day.
That started on the Internet,
in a most innocuous way.

The browser was upgraded fresh,
the box was stuffed with RAM.
The hard drive had been polished clean,
and freshly cleared of spam.

Our Hometownboy was feeling brisk
as he surfed into S.D.
He opened up a likely thread
to see what he could see, see what he could see

A Tolkien fan, he thought he'd check
Fingolfin's nifty thought
If someone else had writ the stuff
But the farm he nearly bought, the farm he nearly bought

For every scribe that ever was
was represented there
In allegories finely wrought
with most excessive care, most excessive care

By Bradbury, and Chaucer, too
Hemingway and Doyle
The Bible, Wolfe and Steven King
In Middle Earth did toil, in Middle Earth did toil

"Pull out, Pull out!" his ego cried,
"There's much too much to read!"
But his id pressed on regardless,
Caught up in its need, caught up in its need.

His wife was the one who pulled him out
With a grip both strong and sure
He hadn't spent ten minutes
But a three hour tour, a three hour tour

[Cisco]

Wow jr8 and Hometownboy, wonderfully done. Very funny :D.

[Cajun Man]

:o

Merci, jr8.

[tracer]

Darn it, most 1960s TV show themes are pure instrumentals! They don't have any lyrics that I can mangle! :pout:

Oh, wait ... I think I have a vague memory of one exception. Wasn't there this one late-60s-early-70s TV show that had lyrics in its main title themesong? Something about being the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls....

[Silentgoldfish]

I'm always introduced with the Get Smart theme. Always.

No words to change, but I can hum a few bars if you'd like.

[Gyrate]

Originally posted by Cajun Man
:o

Merci, jr8. What can I say: the Dopers + '60's TV show themes idea gave me an excuse to use the tune that comes into my head when I read your name. Don't ask me why; I try not to examine my own thought processes too closely...

[twickster]

Thanks so much, jr8 -- I know I'll be "enjoying" that theme song every time I see Cajun Man's name from here on out...

[Hometownboy]

Originally posted by Cisco
Wow jr8 and Hometownboy, wonderfully done. Very funny :D.


You are too kind,

:: blushes, bows deeply, hoping to milk the audience for another second of applause::

[Michael Ellis]

My theme song is 'Ride of the Valkyries' with the lyrics changed to, simply, "Michael Ell-lis, Michael Ell-is..."

[Mockingbird]

They're creepy and they're dorky,
verbose and often porky,
They've read the writer Gorky,
The Doper Family.


Their house is a mausoleum,
No people come to see 'em,
They often make Cecil scream,
The Doper Family.


(Eek)
(Geek)
(Freaks)


So get a tin foil hat on,
A computer that you can log on,
We're gonna pay a call on,
The Doper Family.

[Gyrate]

Originally posted by twickster47
Thanks so much, jr8 -- I know I'll be "enjoying" that theme song every time I see Cajun Man's name from here on out... It could be worse -- you could also be enjoying: John Corrado, why don't you come to your senses...

Oops. ;)