View Full Version : Seen any good bumper stickers lately?
Back in the 80's I remember laffin' my a$$ of at some, but then again I was but a tot.
I saw "Hang up and Drive" the other day, which I thought was good, and also "I was at Dave and Kathy's Wedding" which must've been one helluva event if people want to advertise that.
Maybe I spend far too much time on the road and am looking for a diversion.
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather - not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car"
I just got one that says McShit with the golden arches and everything. I love the 'hang up and drive' stickers too!
I am so immature, I love the takeoffs on Farfagnugan...
Fukingroovin' (with a stick person dancing)
Fuckinpukin' (with a stick person puking)
I saw that last one yesterday and almost peed my pants laughing..
My two favs that I used to have:
Dont' like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT
also..(and this one got me lots of dates..no kidding)
Lonely bitch seeks kind, considerate guy for love/hate relationship
loved that one...
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
I also remember the "I was at ....and ....Wedding"
My current favorite now is
"What if the Hokey Pokey is what its all about"
The worst thing that can possibly happen is not be used for something by someone - Kurt Vonnegut
How about, "Eat your honey....millions of bees can't be wrong."?
Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck!
The one I have on my car right now says "Do not wash: This vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test."
"A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here'." - Steven Wright
First lemme say that Bumper Sticker are the stupidest things on Gods Green Earth. Do you really need to advertise your fucking politics or religious beliefs on your bumper? Do you really think I'm gonna read that Jesus Saves bumper sticker and suddenly veer off to the next church and get saved? Keep it to yourself, where it belongs.
But, a good joke is a good joke.
One I've seen on bumper stickers, T-shirts, and on bulletin boards is this:
"Seeking wife, must be able to cook, clean fish. Must have boat with motor. Send photo of boat and motor."
I think thats funny, but I'm easily entertained.
Any of those "My other car is a..(insert expensive/tacky/non-car vehicle here)" bumper sticker are really lame.
I like the "If you can read this your to close, asshole!" bumper stickers, but they fit with any of the get even with the idiots stickers.
We did some of these, search "bumper sticker" for the old thread. I tried to remember some, but as I usually drive, I could not write them down or forgot. It turns out they aren't always easy to write in 6-7 words!
Some of my favorites:
"Jesus is coming; look busy!"
"The sun will extinguish in 3 1/2 billion years, which means they'll have to finish I-75 in the dark."
And, though they're not really bumper stickers, I love the Darwin fish.
"Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing yourself is enlightenment." - Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher
"Horn broke, watch for finger!"
"Keep honking, I'm reloading!"
"I'm not tailgating, I'm drafting"
The one I CANNOT stand to see is the one you see on senior citizens cars that says "I'm spending my kids inheritance". Why call it their inheritance if its your money in the first place. Don't know why that bugs me so much.
one more..."That's Ms. Bitch to you"
phouka, that one about the sun and I-75 made me laugh. That must be the portion that goes through Tennessee, cause I've never seen any state have slower road construction than TN and I live in the Road Construction Capital (Michigan)!
...it has never been my way to bother much about things which you can't cure.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court-Mark Twain
phouka: And, though they're not really bumper stickers, I love the Darwin fish.
The other morning I what looked like a fish at first, but was really a shark. Loved it!
"Its not a bald spot, its a solar panel for a sex machine" (Yeah, its tacky- but I laughed)
"Why vote for the lesser of two evils? Elect Chthulu"
"Quayle in 2000"
This is a little off-subject, but does anyone want to go halvsies with me on a 5,000 copy bumper-sticker printing of
HONK IF YOU THINK I'M AN ASSHOLE FOR DRIVING THIS THING
I want to go out at midnight and plaster them on the bumpers of every sport utility vehicle in New York City. Why do people think it's necessary to drive one of those $#@%#@ things in the city?
This was on a really dirty old pickup truck:
"Don't laugh at my truck; your daughter may be in here."
I don't know who first said "everyone's a critic," but I think it's a really stupid saying.
"I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass."
The Christian fish symbol sporting little legs and "Darwin" inscribed inside.
"I CLOSED WOLSKI'S..Milwaukee, Wi"
"My hovercraft is full of eels."
Omniscient needs a sticker that says "I hate bumper stickers" wouldn't that be a hoot?
My favorite remains, "Join the army. Travel to far away, exotic places, meet strange and interesting people, and kill them."
My absolute favorite. Can you tell that I am a pacifist?
We have one that's a chalkboard so that we can change our mind... it makes for some fun discussions!
OK... This will probably piss a few people off, but what they hey.
My favorite all time bumper sticker stated:
Jesus Loves You, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
My car has 3 bumper stickers on it:
1) Abolish Mornings
2) Vote: Republican, it's easier than thinking
Vote: Democrat, it's easier than working
Vote: Libertarian, it's cheaper than taxes
3) Red Meat isn't bad for you,
Green, Fuzzy meat is bad for you.
I am a strong believer in offending sensitive people.
Jason R Remy
"And it could be safely said that at that moment, in the whole of India, no one, absolutely no one, was f^(king a goat."
-- John Irving A Son of the Circus (1994)
I have to agree with Omniscient - I hate bumper stickers.
That being said, my favorite bumper sticker reads:
"My heart belongs to daddy...and so does my ass!"
#2 is "Hang up and drive!"
Saw a car with a Jesusfish and a Darwinfish kissing each other. Those are the kind of people I wanna hang out with.
I generally don't like bumperstickers, but I did bring one back from Glasgow, Scotland nearly 10 years ago (and it's still on the car, in good shape--God knows what it's made of!). Glasgow has its own earthy humour and language, with many pithy phrases.
The sticker reads "AWANBILEYERHEID", which is "Awa an bile yer heid", or "go away and boil your head", a fairly typical, if clean, Glasgow wittisism.
However, it has given hours of innocent delight:
I have seen people stop and look, and mouth out the words, sometimes for minutes on end when I'm parked. People have even run up from the vehicle behind at red lights to ask me what the hell it says.
Real Scots just honk and laugh, of course. Helps us sort folk oot.
WE BRAKE FOR TAILGATERS
Here are a few that I like:
BACK OFF MAN - I'm a Scientist.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
I like the take-off of that 70's sticker that reads "Visualize Whirled Peas"
Also "Who are the Grateful Dead, and why do they keep following me around?"
I like, "The next time you feel perfect, try walking on water," or "My karma just ran over your dogma."
Just lately, "Dr. Kevorkian can see you on Tuesday".
When I lived in LA, there was a brief vogue for "Please don't shoot, I'm driving the best I can". I also once saw, in LA again, natch, the license plate holder that says "My other car is a Rolls-Royce"--on a Rolls-Royce.
I've always been amused by those "Warning: in case of Rapture, this car will be driverless" stickers--they always implied to me Well, I'm going to Heaven, & since you're going to Hell anyway, it's OK for me to leave an unguided missle going down the freeway!" Shouldn't these guys be walking?
The best one I've seen lately has a radioactive symbol, a pink triangle, a little whale, and a cross. Underneath them it says, "Nuke a Gay Whale for Jesus".
"Jesus saves, Moses invests"
and the classic
"Gas, Grass, or Ass--Nobody Rides Free!"
Id love to split those bumper stickers with you, Ukulele Ike
My favorite was a car I saw in the late '80s on Mass St. in Lawrence....it was a beat-up old Camaro. Two bumper stickers. On the left: "I (heart) Beer". On the right: "Heavy Fuckin' Metal". Had I been a cop, I'd have pulled that guy over right there.
well, my friend at school had these....they made me laugh although I didn't neccessarily approve of his well-known foul mouth.. they read:
#1 You're not a hemroid so get off my a$&.
#2 Be nice to smokers...we're dying soon enough.
I got a load of these things from a friend via e-mail. Some yall have seen, some not. Nevertheless they are pretty funny.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
>Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
>As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
>Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
>Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
>Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
>I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather......not screaming and yelling
>like the passengers in his car.
>Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
>The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
>Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
>It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
>When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
>Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
>Friends don't let friends drive naked.
>Wink, I'll do the rest!
>I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
>Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
>If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
>Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.
>It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
>Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
>Forget about World Peace.....Visualize using your turn signal!
>Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
>Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
>We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
>Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
>He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
>Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
>Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
>Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
>Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>I souport publik edekasion.
>Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
>3 kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
>Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
>Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening.
A woman I used to work with had a pickup truck with a bumper sticker, "Feed Jane Fonda to the whales." She said people would ask her, "What do you have against whales?"
About 3 years ago I saw one that said;
"so many fools, so few comets,"
I about rear-ended the guy I was laughing so hard
Placed in juxtaposition to each other
"mean people suck," " nice people swallow"
saw this in a store today:
Men have feelings too, but who cares?
Ivick, that is the funniest thing about the comets, I remember seeing one too.
Ah, this could be a seperate thread
About a year ago I saw a Darwin fish w/a much BIGGER Darwin fish approaching from the rear, mouth wide open.
I came across a couple in a book by Peter Benchley:
Hire the handicapped; they are fun to watch
My saviour is a Jewish Carpenter.
PS. NO slights intended.
I have one hanging in my office:
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
I used to have one that said:
Jugglers do it with their balls in the air.
I also used to have one that simply said:
Support the Bill of Rights
You can't imagine how many people didn't understand this last one. "What do you mean by that?" "Do you mean the whole thing? Even the Second Amendment?" Etc. This is not a difficult concept, people!
I also had a Darwin fish sticker (rather than the plastic fish itself), which somebody tried to rip off (a good Christian creationist person, I'm sure).
Here's a couple of my favorites:
"My Other Car is a Piece of Shit Too"
"Conserve Toilet Paper, Use Both Sides"
Actually I was reminded of my favorite by Alan Q's posting about LA. Oddly enough, I saw this when I was living there:
"I told you my other car
was a Rolls-Royce"
On a RR of course... I like that guy's sense of humor.
Many moons ago there was an oubreak of "This Car Stops For Animals" stickers. One of the better responses was "This Car Stops For Hallucinations". I've also been partial to "If You Don't Like The Way I'm Driving, Stay Off The Sidewalk".
It's interesting what you can accomplish with a judicious use of scissors. Again many moons ago Wisconsin issued some "Escape to Wisconsin" stickers, which could--and were--modified to "Escape to sin". In Northern Virginia, pro-road groups printed "Build I-66 Now" stickers, which saved the anti-road group from having to print their own, since all they needed to do was clip off both ends to make "I-66 No" stickers.
A supermaket chain in the southeast US, Food Town, was actually popular enough that people were willing to put store bumper stickers on their cars. When the chain changed its name to Food Lion, they issued new stickers with the black "Town" crossed out by a red stripe and the word "Lion" inserted. What I found amusing was that the red ink was unstable, so the "Lion" would fade out, and the stickers eventually reverted to "Food Town".
beatle said - "About a year ago I saw a Darwin fish w/a much BIGGER Darwin fish approaching from the rear, mouth wide open."
I've never seen that one, but I have seen one with a small Darwin fish with a much bigger regular Christian fish approaching from the rear, mouth wide open, with the caption "Survival of the fittest".
I have heard (on radio - so not sure if its true, perhaps some New Yorkers can verify or deny) that the most popular bumber sticker in New York is:
Run, Hilary, Run
All the Democrats have it on the rear bumper.
The Republicans put in on the front bumper.
Politically Incorrect - and pround of it.
Speaking of scissors...A local radio station just changed it's frequency from 104.9 to 94.9 (who knows why) but enterprising youths are seen with their "Wild 94.9" stickers rearranged to say "Wild 4 69"
"30 Minutes of Begging Does Not Constitute Foreplay"
Upstate New Yorker here ( and no it's further north than Kingston). In this staunch Republican stronghold I have seen one with 'Run Hillary Run' in the front bumper. This is not surprising considering most talk involving the Clinton's eventually boils down to the merits of calibers and muzzle velocities.
Well, if we are doing favorite stickers, not just funny ones:
Recycle life, give blood.
I'd rather be dancing.
My kid beat up your honor student
Also from a greeting card: Birthdays are like bumper stickers- You can enjoy others' but you don't want them yourself
A teacher of mine had this bumpersticker on her desk, which I thought showed a lot of chutzpah:
"My decisions are arbitrary, prejudiced, and FINAL."
"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy
I went to Dowling College, a little commuter school in New York. Its cheezy slogan is "The Personal College Where Everyone Grows."
At one point, a lot of us on the rowing team bought bumper stickers with that slogan, and cut out the capital G. We felt really clever for that one. =B^)
The only sticker on my new car says "Pagan And Proud". I didn't want to ruin the paint with it, so it's not permanently affixed to the vehicle. I stuck it to a sheet of thin magnetic plastic, which I got from a crafts store; it's the same stuff they use to make flexible refrigerator magnets. It holds to the bumper just fine, and when my sticker's ink starts to fade, I can easily replace it with a new one.
I got one on mine
"Ran with scissors as a child"
seen a few good ones too
-On a lowrider "No fat chicks or it scrapes"
-On a 50 custom "So you got a Mercedes, so does the guy next to you" Meaning how many custom leadsleds do you see on the road. I honked for the guy
-"Would you drive better with that phone rammed up your ass?"
-'Thank yew Thank yew very mush' for some reason this sounds more like the King than the regular words
-When in doubt, turn the other cheek. A good mooning does the world good
-"Eddie would go" in rememberence of Eddie Aikua, a hawaiian surfer who would surf balls out on the hairest days (like 30 foot swells). He died trying to paddle through a hurricane from a stranded boat to rescue others who made it through. Now whenever someone sees a really hairy day and goes you going out,a majority of the time a surfer will say "hey Eddie would go"/ I think it is the best way to remember him
Howzabout t-shirt slogans? I get a catalog that has some good weird stuff in it. Among this month's crop:
Liberal Arts Major: would you like fries with that?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Riverdance Pest Control-Old fashioned methods-No chemicals
Filthy, Stinking, Rich! (2 out of 3 ain't bad)
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
Too many freaks-not enough sideshows.
Today has been a total waste of makeup.
Just a hippie sticker that really cracked me up seeing it at the right place at the right time -- "Visualize grilled cheese."
I've always wanted to open up a marginally legal store that sells bumper stickers designed to be placed on other people's cars without their consent. Yours is great. Other examples would be "Blame me, I didn't vote" and "The size of this vehicle makes up for everything!"
Slightly more subtile would be the bumper-sticker "RU-486 stops a beating heart." (I'm pro-choice.) The point is that RU-486 is designed to be used way before a heart is ever formed in the fetus. I'm sure there are scores of right-to-lifers who wouldn't know this, and would put on the bumper-sticker. Well I laughed anyway.
08-07-1999, 03:52 AM
The most important bumpersticker ever: RACE CAR spelled backward is RACECAR
08-07-1999, 06:43 AM
>I HATE BUMPER STICKERS
That's better than the one I've been meaning to have printed up for years: THIS BUMPER STICKER IS FALSE.
08-09-1999, 10:54 AM
Hey, let's go into business! "The size of this car makes up for everything" is choice...I prefer it to my configuration.
Seriously, I'm gonna miss you, buddy...I know you won't see this, since you're leaving, but still.
08-09-1999, 11:10 AM
"Drive like Hell and you'll soon get there."
I always liked that one, one that I dont get are the ones that get smaller and smaller saying "if you can read this you are too close" but you cant see it unless you are stopped at lights.
Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease.
08-09-1999, 11:38 AM
I adore bumper stickers. They're the only conceivable reason I would ever get a car. (Unfortunately for Detroit, they're not strong enough a reason.)
08-09-1999, 11:41 AM
So... I don't have a car. But I have a backpack, which I festoon with buttons. My buttons include:
Wake me up when sex doesn't kill and we can breathe the air.
My karma ran over your dogma.
Cats, not kids.
Let's all act abnormal and be ourselves.
Heterosexuality is not normal, just common.
The worst thing about censorship is ##*^&%@@.
A friend has:
I was gay before it got trendy.
If you can't fuck your friends, whom can you fuck?
And my absolute favourite button, which I swear I would wear if I were a lesbian, is:
Sorry I missed church; I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
08-09-1999, 01:07 PM
Matt_mcl said he would wear the following pin if he were a lesbian: "Sorry I missed church; I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian."
You should wear it anyway. ;) One of my favorites pins is "I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter." There are others that I like but they are too offensive to place here.
08-09-1999, 01:08 PM
You know how some people put their names in the back window of pickups? Like behind the driver's side would be "Jack" and behind the passenger's side would be "Jane" or whatever.
I saw a low rider, chromed out pickup the other day with "Jason" behind the driver's side and "Your daughter" behind the passenger's side.
My husband laughed so hard and was then going to try to pull him over to ask to speak to his daughter.
*still laughing*...sheesh I AM easily amused.
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice - Albert Einstein
08-09-1999, 03:08 PM
A few of my favorites,
A friend of my brothers had a bunch of little circular stickers made, with a screw on them that were just big enough to cover the heart on the 'I <heart> my <Animal of choice>' bumperstickers. I've also seen circles with spades on them for the same bumper stickers.
And ones I've found on the net.
'Support Capitol Punishment, flog a politian'
'The more I learn about terrorism, the better I understand the phone company'
'Support the 28th Amendment: Convicted felons shall not have the right to demand or expect better treatment or conditions than the members of the public at large.'
'Grad School - It's not just a job, it's an indenture!'
'If ignorance is Bliss, Washington must be Paradise!'
'I know that you have a thing for me, but why is it so small and deformed?'
'Nice front bumper you've got there. Shame if something happened to it....'
'Clinton can't feel my pain, Clinton IS my pain!'
'Blessed be the censors, for they shall truly inhibit the earth'
'Balance the Budget. Declare Politicians as Game and sell Hunting Stamps.'
'Crus de agnus Deae con quilon menthae (Leg of lamb of Goddess with mint jelly)'
There are many more, I'd post a link to the site where I found these, but it is a commercial site.
>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry....unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<
---The dragon observes
08-09-1999, 05:50 PM
Saw one in Oregon: "If you ain't a logger, you ain't shit." Not really sure if that was a good or bad thing.
08-10-1999, 12:54 AM
On my Dad's old Toyota when I was in high school:
"The moral majority is neither."
This was in Tennessee. People would follow me after I parked to ask me either "Where did you get it?" (happily) or "What do you mean?" (angrily).
If I could find it, I'd put it on my car now.
Jesus saves, Allah protects, and C'thulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich
The Idol of American Youth
08-10-1999, 01:59 AM
Well, if you want to bring buttons into the mix, I've got lots. Here's a partial list of my collection:
Cheap, Fast, Good -- pick two.
Never follow a rule off a cliff.
Rule 1: You Can't Cure Stupid
Anything not nailed down is mine; anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.
I don't fit in, I'm part of a better puzzle.
All you need is WD40 to make things go and Duct Tape to make them stop.
God didn't create the universe in seven days, he goofed off for six and pulled an all-nighter.
CAFFEINE.COM not found, reboot user (Y/n)?
We are Microsoft. OS/2 is irrelevant. UNIX is irrelevant. Openness is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.
Programming is a race between programmers trying to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to create bigger and better idiots
C++ Where only your friends can access your private parts.
Everything in the universe is packaging, big toys, or meat.
Fezenclop lives! Beware the werewolf sailors! (If anyone understands this one, I'll be more than amazed.)
08-10-1999, 06:04 AM
YOU NONCONFORMISTS ARE ALL ALIKE
IF YOU THINK EDUCATION IS EXPENSIVE, TRY IGNORANCE
08-10-1999, 07:19 AM
Perhaps the most offensive I've ever seen:
Flatties Try Harder</P>
08-11-1999, 12:13 AM
On my car: A mind is like a parachute - it only functions when open
On my husband's car: ER nurse - pass me now, see me later
My next sticker: Straight but not narrow
"With enough courage, you can do without a reputation." - Rhett Butler
08-11-1999, 09:46 AM
One bumper sticker of sorts that I read about in Reader's Digest was a car that had a crumpled right rear bumper. On the left (no damage side) it said, " El Paso" on the Right side it said, " El Cruncho."
The most offensive bumper sticker I've seen and it took me and hubby a few days to figure it out was simply "4:20" It's Hitler's birthday and we figured it out the day after the Columbine Shooting.
08-11-1999, 01:01 PM
Shirley, I can't believe you've been around the SDMB for this long and you don't know that 4:20 (on bumper stickers, hats, and the like) DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HITLER'S BIRTHDAY! 4:20 is universal pot-smoking time.
08-11-1999, 01:14 PM
God was my co-pilot; but we creashed and I had to eat him.
08-11-1999, 02:11 PM
All time fave, bar none:
08-11-1999, 02:58 PM
It's not a bumper sticker, but I saw a guy ridin a hog. On the back of his t-shirt it read 'If you can read this, my bitch fell off'.
08-11-1999, 07:08 PM
it was a tshirt but my favorite saying was "Jesus died for my sins and all i got was this lousy tshirt."
I think thats how it went anyway!
Oh well it was funnier on!
08-11-1999, 11:30 PM
"England forever...and Scotland just a wee bit longer.."
"Im not speeding...I'm flying low"
"I'm not totally useless..I can be used as a bad example"
"I wanna be Barbie...that bitch has EVERYTHING"
08-12-1999, 01:02 PM
Cthulu in Trunk....And boy is he pissed!
>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry....unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<
---The dragon observes
08-12-1999, 01:06 PM
Ironically, i was just forwarded an e-mail of great poitential bumperstickers. To wit:
Great Thoughts From Not So Great Minds...
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
Things are more like they are today then they have ever been before.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
Everything should be made as simple as possible but no simpler.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
All things being equal, fat people use more air and food.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to
One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
08-13-1999, 12:43 AM
From the George Carlin archives:
"Honk if your Horn is Broken"
"I found Him... I have Jesus in the trunk!"
"I'd rather be driving"
CMC International Records
Yahoo Messenger Brian_ONeill
08-18-1999, 06:28 PM
Yesterday I say something high on the irony scale: a "Rage Against the Machine" sticker on a Ford "mines bigger than yours" Explorer XLT sport utility vehicle.
08-18-1999, 07:44 PM
"The people long eagerly for two things -
bread and circuses." -Juvenal
Well, it should be a bumper sticker, in any case.
08-18-1999, 08:08 PM
I just got my "Drive Now, Talk Later" sticker from Car Talk. They've got a campaign to outlaw the use of cellphones while driving:
I'm not a warlock.
I'm a witch with a Y chromosome.
08-18-1999, 08:26 PM
Gretzky gets the rebound.
Livin' on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
08-18-1999, 09:39 PM
I once saw a sticker with a little picture of the mudflap girl -- you know that buxom silhouette that's on so many trucker's mudflaps. It said "Who is this woman, and how can I find her?"
11-11-1999, 10:24 PM
Honk if you ARE Jesus
11-11-1999, 11:01 PM
"Believe those who seek the truth.
Doubt those who find it." --Andre Gide
I miss my ex.. but my aim is getting better!
Jesus is coming (and boy, is he pissed!)
It's never too late to have a happy childhood
I always loved those little screw stickers. They used to have them advertised in the back of Rolling Stone magazine, with the ad line: "Screw your hearts out!"
Never did buy any of 'em, though. I'd like to see some soccer mom's SUV with the sticker "I *screw* my dalmatian". : D
11-12-1999, 10:57 AM
If God is my Co-Pilot, Can I drive in the HOV lane?
Go to Church for the Hell of it!
and one that was popular when I was working the oilfield in Oklahoma & Texas...
Please don't tell my mom I work in the oil fields, she still thinks I'm a piano player in a whore house.
11-12-1999, 11:26 AM
In line with Zette "Darkstarfagnugan" kept me amused at more than a couple shows.
Or how about "Lycanthropy - fight the disease, not the crime"
I saw this for the first a couple years ago. Got me to pause for a moment, smile a wee bit, then burst out laughing.
"where am I going and what am I doing in this handbasket?"
I always had a thing for subtle Deadhead stickers on nice cars... Porches with a small steal-your-face on the licence.
Once in a while you can get shown the light
in the strangest of places
if you look at it right…
11-12-1999, 02:03 PM
I like the "My kid beats up/screws/etc your honor student" ones.
Actually, on the old car we had, it said, "My honor student goes to ___ Middle School." Right next to it was a sticker, "I get my kicks at ____ Taekwondo School."
What can I say? I'm well-rounded.
11-12-1999, 03:13 PM
All time fave:
11-12-1999, 03:50 PM
Here's one I just nade up, based on those "Jesus is Coming" ones...
God is coming. Turn on your wipers.
11-12-1999, 03:50 PM
Here's one I just made up, based on those "Jesus is Coming" ones...
God is coming. Turn on your wipers.
11-12-1999, 03:57 PM
Three mostly unrelated points on bumper stickers:
1)"...Wisconsin issued some 'Escape to Wisconsin' stickers, which could--and were--modified to 'Escape to sin'. In Northern Virginia, pro-road groups printed 'Build I-66 Now' stickers, which saved the anti-road group from having to print their own, since all they needed to do was clip off both ends to make 'I-66 No' stickers."
I've seen here in Chicago (but maybe they're more widespread) a red "bumper sticker" that says DRIVING in white lettering. As you may imaging, it's stuck to STOP signs (mainly in densely-populated city neighborhoods) so that the sign reads STOP DRIVING. Clever.
2) How come "My kid beat up you honor student" is always on a piece of crap car built during the Reagan administration or earlier that's probably worth $500 tops, and that only because of new tires and wiper blades! Maybe because the kind of ignoramus who puts this on their car is envious of people with double-digit IQs.
3) I crack up with laughter when I'm on a bus downtown headed from the train station to my office and a car ahead of the bus has all sorts of "Save the Earth" and "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem" smug environmentalist bumper stickers. If you care so much about the environment, ride a train downtown, you hypocritical peabrain! It's especially amusing when the stickers include one slamming all Republicans as evil ravagers of the Earth: hey, pal, I'm a Republican and I'm doing a **hell** of a lot more for the Earth than you are right now!
John, I think you nailed it in point #2. That's how I feel about them also.
I think that somewhere in my garage I have a bumper sticker that says "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."
11-12-1999, 04:52 PM
The first time it's love; the second time it's twenty dollars.
11-13-1999, 12:12 AM
It seems like all the witty stickers are gone around here. All I usually see are those damn Calvin pissing on (car brand). I once saw a guy with one of those Calvins pissing on his own car brand, and i thought that was kind of amusing.
A couple I've seen that I've liked:
The best way through a man's heart is through his stomach. Then up through the rib cage.
Shadow 95:What do you want...TODAY? (A Babylon5 reference)
You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.
I forgot this one.. I am not a Buddhist, bit I still like it. :D
Born again.. and again.. and again.. Buddhist
11-13-1999, 06:07 AM
For high class people only:
On a Guinness T-Shirt: Life's Too Short To Drink Cheap Beer.
On a Corvette T-Shirt: Friends Don't Let Friends Drive T-Birds.
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis
05-08-2001, 05:27 AM
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
05-08-2001, 06:58 AM
I have three great bumper stivkers in my car. First of all, let me explain something, I am only 17, so all of my peers have no idea wtf these mean, so I have to explain this all the time. Ok, you know those little white, round stickers that have been popping up all over the place? The ones wih 2 or 3 letters in them, usually a place of signifigance to that person... I have 2 of those. One, C++, the other, HTM, and NO ONE has any idea what these are, quite sad. Then, I have a slashdot.org sticker, that looks like a university sticker that students and alumni usually pick up at the college book store.
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