Euty, you ass!

[Eutychus]

Sorry, I was just feeling jealous about everyone else's Pit threads.

[JohnT]

.1/10

[samarm]

Euty, you are laughable, and I fart in your general direction.


Feel better?

[Michael Ellis]

Moderator, ban thyself!

I've been waiting so long to use that line.

[Eats_Crayons]

:rolleyes: You're a waste of photons on my screen. I bite my thumb at thee.

[Why A Duck]

Slow night in the Ocean State I guess.

[samarm]

Can I borrow your moderator hat for a minute please, Euty? I have a few personal vendettas that I want to settle. I promise to bring it back when I'm finished.

[DarrenS]

Originally posted by Michael Ellis
Moderator, ban thyself!

I've been waiting so long to use that line.

Except....Moderators don't ban people - Administrators do - so he can't.

[Ukulele Ike]

Originally posted by Why A Duck
Slow night in the Ocean State I guess.



......Nah. Too easy.

[beagledave]

Could somebody lend this fool a wife to brag about his shagging abilities and defend him from the naysayers?

[Why A Duck]

So I've been told.

[Q.E.D.]

[insert heated rant at OP here]

Sorry, Euty, I'm too tired to give you a proper rant. Maybe the next poster will blast you good, eh?

[Tripler]

Euty, you too?

Sheesh, I was hoping someone would throw a "babykiller" or "warmongrel" my way or something. . . :rolleyes:

Tripler
Slow night in North Dakota, too. But then again, when isn't it?

[samarm]

Euty, I've just about had it with you. Just who the fuck do you think you are? You sit there in your big fancy moderator hat, looking smug, reading the forums, being a nice guy, being polite... oh wait... never mind.

[Michael Ellis]

Originally posted by DarrenS
Except....Moderators don't ban people - Administrators do - so he can't.

Don't confuse the issue with facts.

[3trew]

You're pitting yourself for being jealous? What kind of a way is that to run a message board? If I was you, I'd be really upset with you, and report your post to you, and then I'd give yourself a stern warning. Of course you'd probably snap back at yourself and then you'd have to warn you again and then you'd risk your account, so maybe you should send you an e-mail or something and not let you see it, just work it out between yourself.

[Buck The Diver]

Tonight On FOX:
WHEN MODS GET BORED!

[lel]

What next, Buck The Diver? Euty Millionaire? Some other mod-themed reality show on FOX?

[Kat]

Wow, that comment was pretty low, Buck, even in light of what Euty did....er...what? Oh. *wanders out of thread looking confused*

[Buck The Diver]

Tonight On FOX:
WHEN MODS GET BORED!

[samarm]

Tonight on FOX:

World's scariest moderators!

[Hank Fescue]

You are being a complete ass. You know you are. Don't give that crap from up on your high moderators horse. Errr... oooops. Wrong Mod.

[Buck The Diver]

Followed by:
WHEN MODS GET BORED II: ATTACK OF THE DOUBLE POST!
Next on FOX!

[David B]

Euty: I have just received an official memo from the Moderator Pit Thread Judging Board. They have ruled that a Pit thread started BY the moderator in question does not count towards your total in the Pit Thread Race.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[Tripler]

To quoth myself
Sheesh. . . "warmongrel" . . .

Sheesh, I figured someone would at least point my fault in that it's "warmonger" versus "warmongrel".

Tripler
Hopelessly awaiting a pit thread.

[december]

There once was a poster named Eutychus,
He got bored and became a sad, moody cuss.
...In a jealousy fit
...Threw himself in the Pit,
We will miss such a nice therapeutic cuss.

[The Ace of Swords]

{Squints} Who are you, again?

Newsflash: Nice Guy Finishes Last in Hate Race

[CadburyAngel]

If it helps at all, I ran across a "Eutychus" in some of the readings on Rome that I've been doing, and it confused the crap out of me. (I forgot that you could time-travel.) I was more briefly disoriented than deeply enraged, but now I've had a more or less negative emotion associated with your name, which must count for something in this thread.

[Eats_Crayons]

When do we get to hit him?

[Q.E.D.]

[Mr. T] I pitted (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=164339) the fool! [/Mr.T]

:D

[Guinastasia]

Euty, you asshat-you're making the hamsters run over time because you're BORED!!!

Sheesh, you mods are so spoiled!

[Larry Mudd]

Euty, you absolutely suck at being an irritant.

Once, once, I gleefully found some trivial thing to bitch you out about, (imbedded midi on your webpage,) and you took all the fun out of it by shrugging and and saying "I've been meaning to get around to removing that," and then actually taking it out.

Worse yet, its removal, in concert with other incidentals on the page:The background music is a version of the Sailor's Hornpipe as arranged by Mike Oldfield.andIn Cyberspace, no one can hear you scratch your head....conspire to give your bland, nice-guy's-webpage an undeserved appearance of wicked irony. Jeez, that pisses me off.

One day, everyone will realize the amount of envy and self-loathing which your inconsiderate cultivation of a fine mind & beautiful soul has sowed in the world, and the truth will out. So there.

You Bastid.

[Persephone]

Sorry, I was just feeling jealous about everyone else's Pit threads.

Well fer fuck's sake. Even I know you don't start a Pit thread by apologizing for it! You wanna be an ass, just be an ass! Let your Inner Ass run free! You'll be glad you did!

Ya wanker.

[Klaatu]

There once was a mod named Euty
Who was bummed from lack of good booty
He posted a rant
Was told to get bent
And now he will probly be snooty.

[neuroman]

You stinkin' burner (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=164125)!

[GusNSpot]

[Dad's voice]

"PATRICK, you get in here this minute!!"

[/Dad's voice]

[3trew]

I think the posters above have a point, Eutychus. If you really, really want to have yourself pitted, you need a better OP than that.

You're a moderator. When someone is being objectionable, they get reported to you.

Use those resources. Make a list of the top five people who've not quite been banned yet and have them help you with your post.

If you're lucky, it'll degenerate into a flame war. If you're not, it'll just go away. If you're unlucky, it'll wind up like the "Colin Powell's Not Black" thread and become a chance for random dopers to riff off one another with very funny results. It's even possible that curling will be referenced.

I know, I'm a newbie and no expert, not having been pitted yet myself, but I think I have a solid grasp of the basics and some day I'll make it.

I'll give you a half point, though, for getting the limericks started.

[samarm]

...but minus 2 points for starting your pit thread with the word "Sorry"!

Come on man, you should have started it with "Fuck all of you!" or something! You're just too nice!

[Ethilrist]

Originally posted by Eutychus
Euty, you ass!
3 monkeys. 2 days.

[elf6c]

Originally posted by beagledave
Could somebody lend this fool a wife to brag about his shagging abilities and defend him from the naysayers?

Nah then the whiners will show up too.

[Liberal]

I slap your face with six-thousand dead hands. I gouge out your eyeballs with the arthritic fingers of old men who lie in graves along your Trail of Tears. I stuff your ears...

Oh, wait. You said "Euty, you ass", not "Andew Jackson". Nevermind. :D

[Wilson]

What I want to know is if the OP wants to request this thread be closed, can he email himself?

[Balance]

Originally posted by Tripler
Sheesh, I figured someone would at least point my fault in that it's "warmonger" versus "warmongrel".

Tripler
Hopelessly awaiting a pit thread.
I guess we let the dog of war slip by us.

And as for you, Euty...
:wally

[Shirley Ujest]

Euty, at least people came to your self-pitting.

My fear is What if I threw myself a Pit Party and No One Came .

Then I would need a therapist because either everyone likes me or they hate me that much they didn't have enough room to spew their vemon at me....whine ..whine..whine

[slortar]

Finally, I get to call Eutychus a felch monkey.

My life is fulfilled. I may die now.

Um, ya damn felch monkey...

[KneadToKnow]

Originally posted by Persephone
Let your Inner Ass run free! :eek:

[Jackmannii]

I am highly pissed off about something or other, and this thread is not helping matters.

[Shirley Ujest]

I think Letting your inner ass run free would be effectively called diahrea



:D

[Colibri]

Euty, Pit Threads just don't happen by themselves (with a few exceptions of course.) You have to work for them. And you have been slacking off in that department.

Look, why don't you just wander around MPSIMS for awhile locking every other thread while hurling gratuitous insults at the OP and random other posters. That should put you in contention in no time.

[DAVEW0071]

Don't worry, Euty. You can join me here in the assclown corner, if ya want.

[vanilla]

pretending to be a mod;), I will say
"Eutychus, you are not pittable!"

[elelle]

Euty, you ass Euty, you ass EutyyouassEutyyouass eutyouass, eutyouass, eutyyouass, eutyouass, eutyYOUass, eutyYOUass, yerinnerass, yerinnerass, yerinnerass, yerinnerass, yerINNERass, yerINNERass, yerINNERass, yerINNERass, Ithinkican, Ithinkican, Ithinkican....WHOOOOO! WHOOOOO!

This train is bound for Glory, this train.... :p

[Eutychus]

Originally posted by elelle
This train is bound for Glory, this train.... :p

Ah ... I thought that was the Philip Glass version.

[Scotticher]

Originally posted by David B
Euty: I have just received an official memo from the Moderator Pit Thread Judging Board. They have ruled that a Pit thread started BY the moderator in question does not count towards your total in the Pit Thread Race.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

DOES TOO!!!!!! :sticking tongue out smiley:

didn't we used to HAVE one of those?

[elelle]

Originally posted by Eutychus
Ah ... I thought that was the Philip Glass version.

Mmmm, wasn't sure how it would translate without an increasing staccato on the tracks... might be a bit without balance.;)

[Exgineer]

Originally posted by Ethilrist
3 monkeys. 2 days. Mmmm... monkeys.

I hate Euty too. I mean, the jerk is always being justsooo polite and reasonable. It turns my stomach. Where's the vaunted "moderator venom?" When is he going to release the intollerance and heartlessly suppress the innocent little posters?

He's obviosly a worthless slacker.

I'm not even going to mention that he's dead sexy to the point that all the Doper wimmins want him so badly they cant think straight, or that he has a disabled child that he's killing himself to take care of (which makes him even more attractive to the wimmins), or that he's going to be available again very soon.

I'm more or less available now, but nobody wants me, but everybody wants Euty.

I hate that guy.

[Eutychus]

Originally posted by Exgineer
I'm not even going to mention that he's dead sexy to the point that all the Doper wimmins want him so badly they cant think straight

Names! We need names!

[Exgineer]

See, they know who you are, but they don't want you to know who they are until the catfight is over

Wimmins is crafty.

[lel]

Originally posted by CadburyAngel
If it helps at all, I ran across a "Eutychus" in some of the readings on Rome that I've been doing, and it confused the crap out of me. (I forgot that you could time-travel.) I was more briefly disoriented than deeply enraged, but now I've had a more or less negative emotion associated with your name, which must count for something in this thread.

If he can fall off a three-story building and be resurrected from the dead, he can do anything!

Originally posted by Eutychus
Names! We need names!

Names? Err, names? Ahem. Er, umm...eh....uhh....

;)

[BioHazard]

So mods are allowed to pit themselves, but regular members get banned for it?

Thats not fair!