Olsen Twins to appear in Playboy upon turning 18 -- *really?*

[I can't believe that's butter!]

My spidey sense is going off like a Gatling gun about this one.

I just heard (to my dismay) the UL that the Olsen Twins are to appear in Playboy upon turning 18 (which, according to my reluctant research, happens on June 13, 2004).

Thanks....thanks for your sympathy.

Has anyone else heard such a thing? Under normal circumstances, I would just refer to Snopes and leave the poor SDMB out of this, but Snopes isn't talking. This is such a puzzling matter that I am wondering, of course, how far this line o' bull got. Anyone else hear this?

Or :eek: could it actually be true?

[Tars Tarkas]

The same UL was going around with Britney Spears at 18. It's all fake. We won't be seeing them naked until they hit their 30's and are broke and desperate.

[I can't believe that's butter!]

That's good to hear, honestly. Thanks.

[Arden Ranger]

Good god, man! Dont' scare us like that!

[asterion]

Just imagine the possibilites if they ever moved past cheesecake.

On second thought, don't. I wish I hadn't.

[typhoon]

Ew.

[photopat]

Mmmmm...cheesecake.....

[DreadCthulhu]

Now, if we can just get them on stage with Tatu.........

[Jonathan Chance]

Hey, it worked for Tiffany.

Now where's Debbie Gibson? Or the Bangles?

[KrustyKlown]

No way. Those girls are far too wealthy to pose nude. They've managed their money very well up to this point, so I'm sorry, but I just don't see it happening.

[Cat Fight]

Also, their entire market for clothing, TV, videos, etc. is made up of children (I won't get into why fully grown men might purchase "Switching Goals" or "You're invited to Mary Kate and Ashley's Sleepover Party") and I doubt they'd want to sacrifice their wholseome image (images? No, iage. They even appear together on their imdb.com listing) and future millions for a paltry one or two for posing.

[I can't believe that's butter!]

Both KrustyKlown and Cat Fight raise points that agree with my stance; the very stance I had upon hearing this UL. Even upon hearing this, I knew that there was a (approximately) 99.99999% chance* it was false. Despite this stance, my OP had a "say it isn't so" vein to it, which has (gladly) evoled into "How many people have heard this (ludicrous) rumor?".





*Allowing for the mere chance it was (gasp) true -- taking into context the phenomenon that Jonathan's cite proves.

[Age Quod Agis]

Aside from what's been previously mentioned, there's the whole legal problem of enforcing some sort of contract against children. In most states, kids are given the option of repudiating contracts they've entered (except for contracts for necessities like food and water) once they reach the age of majority (usually 18). So even if Britney, the Olsen twins, and TaTu all agreed to do a joint layout for Playboy when they turned 18, and they accepted the money when they were all 16, they would most likely have the option of giving back the money and not doing the layout when they turned 18.

(Caveat: in the real world, it's a little more complicated than I've just described, but the principle still applies).

[astorian]

Let's face it- it's been a loooong time since posing for Playboy was a positive career move. Today, posing for Playboy is like appearing on "I'm a Celebrity- Get Me Out of Here." That is, it's a sign of desperation ("I can't even get on Hollywood Squares any more!").

In the 1970s, when every guy my age WANTED to see Farrah Fawcett naked, she wouldn't do it. Today, she gets naked at the drop of a hat, but nobody wants to see it any more! So will it be with the Olsen Twins. Today, they're extremely rich and popular. Why would they WANT to appear in Playboy?

Moreover, nowadays, the readership for Playboy is my age (42) and older. Those are BAD demographics, folks! Stars want to appeal to much YOUNGER audiences. Which means that, even IF Mary Kate or Ashley wanted to show off a sexier side one day, she wouldn't do a nude spread in Playboy. She'd do a bikini or lingerie layout in one of the "laddie" magazines like Maxim. That way, she could please younger males while still staying PG-13.

[Tuckerfan]

Yeah, but every straight man in America would buy the issue of Playboy if the Olsen twins appeared in it on their 18th birthday.

[Kid Rock]If there's grass on the field, "Play ball!"[/KR]

[SPOOFE]

I just keep getting depressed whenever I hear that the Olson twin's birthdays are the same as mine... ::sigh::

[Menocchio]

Why the hell are the Olsen twins the new standard for jailbait?

I mean, they aren't hideous, but, unlike younger Britney of Tatu, they aren't selling themselves on a sexy image. Why do we act as if they are when they've portrayed themselves as nothing but wholesome?

[Ethilrist]

Originally posted by Tuckerfan
Yeah, but every straight man in America would buy the issue of Playboy if the Olsen twins appeared in it on their 18th birthday.
You kidding? Most of the straight guys would buy it if all they did was the interview!

[Little Nemo]

Unlikely but possible. The question is going to be whether the Olsens are able to develop an adult acting career or remain stuck with a diminishing role as former child stars. If it's the latter, then they may decide that it would be a good career move to show they're "all gron up" with a Playboy shoot.

Personally, I'd rather hope that the similar rumors about Jennifer Love Hewitt that were circulating a couple of years back end up bearing fruit.

[Zebra]

Would they have to wait to take the actual photos untill they turned 18? If the magazine came out on their birthday then the photos would be of underage girls. (and therefore kiddie porn and you will have to put a sign in your yard and on your car and register with the local authorities) But if the pictures were taken a few days later you would be a normal red blodded american male.

[RickJay]

I'm sorry, but the Olsen twins have the faces of gibbons, and there's just no way around it. If you want to see naked monkeys, I'm sure there's a zoo near you.

[Shodan]

But RickJay, they're twins!

To quote from Annie Hall - "Think of the mathematical possibilities, Max!"

Regards,
Shodan

[Count Blucher]

I believe Seinfeld said something about the natural order of the entertainment world where people like the Olsen Twins need to descend into the world of Heroine and Hardcore Pornography only to be discarded in the end by the side of the road. Does anyone have the exact quote?

[yojimbo]

Originally posted by Jonathan Chance
Hey, it worked for Tiffany.

Now where's Debbie Gibson? Or the Bangles?

The Bangles where on TV two nights ago. They've got a new album and are on the comeback trail.

Susanna Hoffs reawakened the HUGE crush I had about her in the 80's. God that woman is HOT.

[TGWATY]

We won't see them naked in Playboy until desperate, that's true. That's because Playboy isn't hip anymore.

But these girls have been getting more risque each year (judging solely on their promotional photos and ads). I bet we'll see them nekkid on the silver screen soon, definitely less than ten years.

Their child actors, after all. Not many last long as adult actors. And Jodie Foster, they ain't.

[TGWATY]

their child actors They're, they're, they're:smack:

[clayton_e]

Originally posted by Tuckerfan
[Kid Rock]If there's grass on the field, "Play ball!"[/KR]

And again quoted on Weekend update (to the newscaster's credit he followed it with a "ew... that is so wrong...")

[Tars Tarkas]

Originally posted by TGWATY
But these girls have been getting more risque each year (judging solely on their promotional photos and ads).

You don't see many teenage girls then. They ALL dress that way now thanks to Britney Spears.

[Anamorphic]

Add me to the list of straight guys who think the Olsen twins are kinda strange looking. Still, you'll notice I did open up a thread about them appearing naked in Playboy, so who knows, I might have picked it up anyway, were it anything resembling true. Oh, and I spotted the Olsen twins at the first Dopefest I ever went to, to tie this waste of a post up in a nice bow.

[Weirddave]

Merlin Olsen has a twin?

[Gundy]

Originally posted by Weirddave
Merlin Olsen has a twin?
::shudders:: two naked Merlin Olsens...

[Tuckerfan]

Originally posted by Gundy
::shudders:: two naked Merlin Olsens... What's worse is that they've supposedly shacked up with the Brimley twins! :eek: two naked Merlin Olsens getting sweaty with two naked Wilford Brimleys.....

[Gyrate]

Originally posted by Zebra
Would they have to wait to take the actual photos untill they turned 18? If the magazine came out on their birthday then the photos would be of underage girls. (and therefore kiddie porn and you will have to put a sign in your yard and on your car and register with the local authorities) But if the pictures were taken a few days later you would be a normal red blodded american male. Pardon my imperfect memory, but there was a case such as you describe with (IIRC) the Sun, which claimed that one of its Page 3 girls was "17 today!" (or whatever the legal age in the UK for such things is). Some astute reader pointed out to the authorities that if the Sun was publishing nude pictures on the first day they could legally do so, then they must have taken said pictures earlier -- at a time when it was not legal to do so. The tabloid eventually sheepishly admitted (presumably with corroboration) that the girl in question was, in fact, older than claimed by at least a year.

And I think the Olsen twins look like those Norfin troll things.

[handy]

Naked?

Anyway, this guy made a web page with a countdown clock for this to happen, olsen twins in playboy countdown clock:
http://www.chasebrown.com/olson.htm

[Michael Ellis]

Originally posted by Tuckerfan
What's worse is that they've supposedly shacked up with the Brimley twins! :eek: two naked Merlin Olsens getting sweaty with two naked Wilford Brimleys.....

:barf:

Thanks a lot, now I'll never eat again!

[SolGrundy]

Originally posted by jr8
And I think the Olsen twins look like those Norfin troll things.
Exactly. Especially when they were younger, like just after "Full House," they were dead ringers for the troll dolls.

They've grown out of that somewhat, to the point where they look like the fashionable friends of the cheerleaders. The friends who get to hang around the genuinely pretty girls because they have a lot of money or their own car or something. Count me in as one of the straight American guys who wouldn't spend any time or money looking for their Playboy "spread."

[Jonathan Chance]

Originally posted by yojimbo
The Bangles where on TV two nights ago. They've got a new album and are on the comeback trail.

Susanna Hoffs reawakened the HUGE crush I had about her in the 80's. God that woman is HOT.

I was always more a Michael Steele fan, myself.

Who'd have guessed she'd become Lt Governor of Maryland? (http://www.gov.state.md.us/michaelhome.asp)

[Tuckerfan]

Originally posted by Michael Ellis
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
quote:
Originally posted by Tuckerfan
What's worse is that they've supposedly shacked up with the Brimley twins! two naked Merlin Olsens getting sweaty with two naked Wilford Brimleys.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:barf:

Thanks a lot, now I'll never eat again! Hmm, I think I see a new informercial on Wilford Brimley's schedule:

WB: Hi! I'm Wilford Brimley, did you know that a recent survey indicates that over fifty percent of Americans are over-weight? And if you're like me, it seems that nothing you do gets those pounds off and keeps them off. Well, there's no hope for me, but there's plenty of help for you! I'm pleased to introduce my new appetite suppressant videotape: Man Humpin' to the Oldies! Over two hours of me and my lover, Merlin Olsen, along with our twins, showing each other love and affection like only four men can do! Act now, and we'll throw in a copy of our video Back Shaving Madness! You won't believe what happens when Richard Simmons drops by! So call now!

[Gyrate]

Originally posted by Tuckerfan
Hmm, I think I see a new informercial on Wilford Brimley's schedule:

WB: Hi! I'm Wilford Brimley, did you know that a recent survey indicates that over fifty percent of Americans are over-weight? And if you're like me, it seems that nothing you do gets those pounds off and keeps them off. Well, there's no hope for me, but there's plenty of help for you! I'm pleased to introduce my new appetite suppressant videotape: Man Humpin' to the Oldies! Over two hours of me and my lover, Merlin Olsen, along with our twins, showing each other love and affection like only four men can do! Act now, and we'll throw in a copy of our video Back Shaving Madness! You won't believe what happens when Richard Simmons drops by! So call now! Now more than ever, we desperately need that barfing smilie...

:o
/\
@

[JohnT]

Originally posted by Tuckerfan
What's worse is that they've supposedly shacked up with the Brimley twins! :eek: two naked Merlin Olsens getting sweaty with two naked Wilford Brimleys.....

OK! Now that's taking the joke just TOO DAMN FAR!!!!! :mad:

;)

[JohnT]

Of course I type the above before proceeding to the "Humpin' to the Oldies" skit.

Tucker, you are one sick puppy. :vomit:

[I can't believe that's butter!]

Tuckerfan posted thusly:
What's worse is that they've supposedly shacked up with the Brimley twins! two naked Merlin Olsens getting sweaty with two naked Wilford Brimleys.....

Gah! Come on! The rumor said Playboy, not Hustler

When is that barfing smiley going to be added? :dubious:



;)

[caffeine_overdose]

I for one am looking forward to the Olsen twins in Playboy. I agree with those who say they aren't the hottest girls in the word. However I grew up with them, they are famous, and most importantly they're TWINS! That is why I am looking forward to them in playboy.

[The Man Who]

Pulling this speculation directly out of my arse, but perhaps the rumor began as a twisted recreation of this story

http://www.pagesix.com/pagesix/55324.htm

about the Barbi Twins returning to Playboy after a ten year hiatus.

Just a thought.

-M

[Rico]

Originally posted by yojimbo
Susanna Hoffs reawakened the HUGE crush I had about her in the 80's. God that woman is HOT.

<Make Yojimbo Very Jealous>

I went to high school with Susanna.

</MYVJ>

[Rhum Runner]

Originally posted by SolGrundy
Count me in as one of the straight American guys who wouldn't spend any time or money looking for their Playboy "spread."
Actually, you would be the one straight American guy.

[Enderw24]

Originally posted by Joe K
Or :eek: could it actually be true?
You got it, dude!

[JRDelirious]

May I say I doubted this from the moment I saw the title. It just would not make sense.


The Olsens have a well-defined image of family-friendly wholesomeness that they have parlayed into very good profits -- with no misguided need (so far) to be "taken as serious artistes" or "living large" as celebrities. Even if upon turning 18 they want to take a new direction, they would have to start if from scratch with little street cred, in an unforgiving business.

As astorian mentioned, the hip things nowadays for someone who is currently "hot" is to show up 98% naked (strategically placed strand of hair) in the likes of Maxim (e.g. Christina Aguilera).

In the case of the Olsens, however, there is not the well-established horny-male-friendly "tease" factor of CA's or Brittney's stage persona -- who, BTW, carefully managed the "sex bomb" factor incrementally, keeping the guys wanting more.

As a contrast, think of the above-mentioned t.A.T.u. -- as soon as they turn both 18+, they become perfectly credible for either Playboy or Maxim, as their whole schtick IS to make us het males think about them together and nekkid, AND they must know the novelty will wear off before too long so they might as well get the maximum exploitation while the getting's good.

On top of all that, honestly the Olsens don't match the media' arbitrary criteria of a "hot chick". Though the two Big P's of Nudie Magazines have never been above lowering their standards to capitalize on celebrity/scandal.


As for the technical aspects of "upon turning 18": In the case of an American publication you could have all the papers drawn up, and on the birthday the newly-adult 18-y/o she shows in the morning and signs w/o need of parental consent, and gets photographed that afternoon. But that's really unlikely for big respectable media groups like Playboy.