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View Full Version : What are the words to "Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts."


Stentor
03-03-2003, 12:39 PM
Can antone help me out here?

Earl Snake-Hips Tucker
03-03-2003, 12:48 PM
Google:

http://www.mudcat.org/kids/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=8840

(Sung to the tune of "The Old Gray Mare.")

pendgwen
03-03-2003, 01:06 PM
I suspect that there are many different versions of this song floating around. Here's the one I learned from my dad:

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, putrifacted porpoise pus
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
And I forgot my spoon.

Evil One
03-03-2003, 01:07 PM
I heard it this way.
"Gobs and gobs of greasy, grimey gopher guts
Mulilated monkey meat
Roasty-toasty birdies feet
French-fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood
I forgot my spoon
(draw it out)
...but I brought my straw.........

Thinks2Much
03-03-2003, 01:08 PM
We didn't repeat the first line as the third line when we sang it as shown at this site, we sang:
"french fried eye balls floating in a bowl of blood" instead. We also did the second line a little different:
"chopped up monkey meat, multilated birdie feet"

Avarie537
03-03-2003, 01:10 PM
My Childhood version:
"Great green globs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little birdies' dirty feet,
Great green globs of greasy, grimy goper guts,
And I forgot my spoon
(but I brought a straw!)"

lachesis
03-03-2003, 01:10 PM
our regional variation:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, little birdies' dirty feet
Sixteen eyeballs rolling, rolling down the street
And I forgot my spoon.

another version:

Great...
Mutilated...
All mixed up in a batch of pink-a lemonade
And I forgot my straw!

ah, yes...the memories.


lachesis

Smashed Ice Cream
03-03-2003, 01:17 PM
One I learned:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat, petrified old birdie feets
french fried eyeballs, served on moldy cream of wheat
wasn't that a tasty snack? (i forgot my spoon)

Hanna
03-03-2003, 01:18 PM
I think I only learned two lines, but mine is different:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, chopped up baby parakeet.

Marathon
03-03-2003, 01:23 PM
YMMV, indeed!

I learned:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat,
chopped up little birdie feet!
French-fried eyeballs rollin' down the dirty street -
That's how the polar bear (??) died!
(Without a spoon!)

"Without a spoon" is sung to the same tune as the "...and many more!" at the end of "Happy Birthday".

DeVena
03-03-2003, 01:34 PM
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat, chopped up baby parakeets,
french-fried eyeballs floatin' in a pool of blood,
and me without a spoon!


Ya know, looking back on this, it's rather gross! ACK! My mom was right!

G.B.H. Hornswoggler
03-03-2003, 03:18 PM
If you're really interested, you'll want this book (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0874834449/qid=1046722645/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-5808700-6586229?v=glance&s=books).

Baker
03-03-2003, 06:29 PM
Some of the things we sang in the schoolyard in elementary school would probably get us suspended or thrown out in this age of Political Correctness. I never knew the "gopher guts" song, but there were other dreadfuls.

"Comet! It makes your teeth turn green!.........."

"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school....."

And, my personal favorite:

"Tra-la-la boom de ay
We have no school today.
Our teacher passed away
We shot him yesterday.
We threw him in the bay
He scared the sharks away
Tra-la-la boom de ay
We have no school today!"

petcat
03-03-2003, 07:17 PM
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Doubleposted what a putz, dopers all a little nuts,
hamsters working, each'n every day and night,
and I forgot my cite.

Scribble
03-03-2003, 08:18 PM
You guys are all whacked in the head. The real version (i.e., the one [i]I[i] learned--all others are lame imitations) is:

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little dirty birdies' feet.
All these things are very, very good to eat,
But I forgot my spoon.

They gave me chopsticks. And indigestion. Ugh!

Scribble
03-03-2003, 08:23 PM
You guys are all whacked in the head. The real version (i.e., the one I learned--all others are lame imitations) is:

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little dirty birdies' feet.
All these things are very, very good to eat,
But I forgot my spoon.

They gave me chopsticks. And indigestion. Ugh!

And who could forget other immortal schoolyard favorites, like:

I've got a pair of combination underwear.
They don't rip, and they don't tear!
I wore 'em 6 weeks, no exaggeration.
Can't get 'em off, 'cause I lost the combination.

Boom, boom
Ain't it great to be craaaaazy!!
Boom, boom
Ain't it great to be nuts!
Boom, boom,
Ain't it great to be craaaaazy!
Just like the people on this bus!

GorillaGirl
03-03-2003, 08:47 PM
The way I learned it was:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, very dirty birdie feet
Pale pink piles of petrified pelican puke
And I forgot my spoon!
(But I found a straw! Sluuurrp!)

The Mermaid
03-03-2003, 08:49 PM
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey butts
little dirty birdie feet
french fried eyeballs floating in pink lemonade
And I forgot my straw.

VunderBob
03-03-2003, 10:04 PM
Greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
two little birdie's feet
whip it up into something
tasting really sweet,
eat it for a midnight snack.

(switching tune to the old Campbell's soup jingle)

Don't forget your spoon because it's MMM MMM good!

peri
03-04-2003, 12:42 AM
Hey, where are all the cut up little monkey butts?

RawkStah
03-04-2003, 12:49 AM
For no reason, this song popped into my head the other day. Nice to see I'm not alone.

One of my personal fav schoolyard songs is:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
He's parked down on the corner in the green and yellow Ford.
With one hand on the bottle and the other on the trottle,
as the cops go whizzing by!

neuroman
03-04-2003, 01:40 AM
Originally posted by Scribble
You guys are all whacked in the head. The real version (i.e., the one I (fixed -Ed. :D ) learned--all others are lame imitations) is:

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little birdies' bloody feet.
All these things are very, very good to eat,
But I forgot my spoon.

You were so close Scribble. So close. I guess no one else heard the "bloody" feet version, though.

Kakkerlak
03-04-2003, 03:00 AM
I suppose I wasn't listening well, because I heard:

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
chopped up little birdie feet.
Ten big barrels of all-purpose porpoise pus [where did I get that?]
and me, without my spoon.


I suppose I just liked the alliterative properties of "all-purpose porpoise pus", but maybe it was hard to hear in the bus.

I once had a camper's mother complain to the director that I had taught her little precious a ditty called "Dead Skunk In the Middle Of the Road", though I think she was just jealous that her seven-year-old could now spell "olfactory".

Hometownboy
03-04-2003, 03:36 AM
And yet another version, from Oregon in the 1950s

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Vultures vomit at your feet
Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Aw, shucks, I forgot my spoon

Cougarfang
03-04-2003, 03:46 AM
From the Taiwan-based "colony" of Americans (AKA the Bilingual School):

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Chop chop birdy feet
French-fried eyeballs swirlin' in a pool of blood
Mommy I forgot my spoon
But I got my straw *SLURP* Ahh!

And, from the same source, we have this really long, ever-growing epic Chinese poem based on a roshambo chant, something about underwear and teachers and notebooks and such.

Petcat, that was hilarious! *Writes Petcat's version down for future reference* :D

Fugazi
03-04-2003, 04:17 AM
I read through them all & didn't see my version, so here you go.

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey nuts
Pasteurized panther puke
French fried eyeballs, dressed in kerosene
And me without my spoon
(I've got a straw)

Like Barrytown the "I've got a straw" part is sang to the tune of "...and many more"

Sock Munkey
03-04-2003, 07:40 AM
I heard it like this.

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little bitty birdy feet
Pails and pails of all purpose porpoise pus
And I forgot my spoon

(wait for it)


But they sell straaaaaws

Skelji
03-04-2003, 10:08 AM
The version I knew had a second verse:

Great big globs of greasy grimey gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little dirty birdie feet
All these things are very very good to eat
That's what we had for lunch.

For supper...

Scab sandwiches with pus on top
Donkey vomit and camel snot
Eagle eyeballs drenched in blood
And for dessert we had some mud.


Crazy kids.

Who the hell would eat mud for dessert? :p

Philster
03-04-2003, 10:50 AM
In the great green globs of gishy gooey gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, fried up birdie feet,
and all size cans of all purpose porpoise puss
and me without my spoon....

Misha77
03-04-2003, 11:10 AM
I learned Devena's version, but considering her location, that's not too surprising. However, we always added "But I got my STRAAAWWW" to the end of it.

Misha77
03-04-2003, 11:19 AM
Oh, and that other "mine eyes" song? Ours went (and dear God, I never realized how violent it was before this):

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule
We have shot the secretary, we have hung the principal
Our troops are marching on...

Geez, if I heard kids singing this in school today, I'd freak out.

mlerose
03-04-2003, 11:25 AM
The version I learned as a kid and the version I had to sing as a camp counselor are different, but neither has been fully captured here.

My version:
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Itty bitty birdy feet
French-fried eyeballs swimming in a bowl of pus,
Oops I forgot my spoon.

Camp version:
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped-up piggies' feet
French-fried eyeballs swimming in a bowl of pus,
And me without my spoon
Regurgitate! Regurgitate! Rah, rah, rah!
V-O-M-I-T! V-O-M-I-T! Vomit, vomit, yayyyy vomit!
Everything tastes better with blue vomit on it.
(the last bit is, I think, sung to an old Blue Bonnet margarine jingle)

Stentor
03-04-2003, 12:12 PM
petcat , that was great.

Baker
03-04-2003, 04:42 PM
Another "mine eyes" version

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule
We even killed the principal but he didn't care
Because he had no hair!

Glory, Glory what a heck of a time we had
And we ain't goin' back no more!

Janx
03-04-2003, 07:20 PM
Well guys, in my version the monkey meat is chopped and the birdie feet are mutilated, which goes to show that you all ended up with poor variations on the true version, But fear not, I shall enlighten your impoverished souls.

Ahem....

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Chopped up monkey meat,
mutilated birdie feet,
French fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood,
OOOoooh! I forgot my SPOOooooOOON!

Thank you, thank you, just trying to help.
:D

Gopher
03-04-2003, 07:40 PM
Gopher guts?!

I'm disgusted!

*storms out*

But everything else is yums.

IThinkNot
03-04-2003, 07:47 PM
As a kid myself, we sing some pretty awful stuff. There's my personal favorite:

On top of old smokey
all covered in blood
I shot my poor teacher
with a .44 slug
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
I looked in her coffin
she wasn't quite dead
so I took a bazooka
and blew off her head
BOOM!

Of course, the "great green globs" song goes differently where I am:

great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey nuts
bloody congealing rotten snot
a putrefacting fetal pig
boiling in a bowl of snot
....and you know what?
(slow) ....... I remembered my spooooooooooooooon!

Ah, I haven't belted that one out at the top of my lungs since ---well, since yesterday... :)

ForgottenLore
03-07-2003, 10:26 AM
Everybody has a version of the refrain, but am I the only person who has ever heard one of the verses? I know there are at least two. Right now I can only recall the first one.

[Refrain]
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat
itty bitty birdy feet
french fried eyeballs wrapped around some fingernails
and I forgot my spoon

[First verse] (the tune is different - don't know what to call it)
Some people eat
hamburger meat
while others eat potatoes.
And some must chew
their Irish Stew
along with ripe tomatoes.
I can't understand
why in every land
they serve such peculiar dishes,
while wherever I go
they always say "no"
when I tell them what my wish is.

I... scream... for...

[Refrain]

Hoopy Frood
03-07-2003, 10:32 AM
Originally posted by Baker
"Comet! It makes your teeth turn green!.........."

Did that one when I was younger:

Sung to the tune of the Colonel Bogie March from Bridge on the River Kwai
Comet! It makes your teeth turn green!
Comet! It tastes like gasoline.
Comet! It makes you vomit.
So grab some comet and vomit today.


"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school....."

Our version of the Battle Hymn parody was slightly different:


Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.
We have tortured all the teachers; we have broken all the rules.
And tomorrow after school we're going to hang the principal.
The school is burning down.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
so I nailed her at her door with a smokin' .44
and she ain't my teacher no more!

Alternate versions to the the third line in the chorus were "hit her on the bean with a rotten tangerine" and "hit her on the butt with a rotten coconut."

Originally posted by Barrytown

That's how the polar bear (??) died!

Actually, that line is from a different song. The first part sung to the tune of "Row, Row, Row" the second sung to "The old gray mare."

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
Throw your teacher overboard.
Listen to her scream.

Five days later floating down the Deleware
Chewing on her underwear
Heading for another pair
Two days later eaten by a polar bear
And that's how the polar bear died.

mlerose
03-07-2003, 10:36 AM
Yeah, ForgottenLore, that was the verse I know too. Did you have a 45 record when you were a kid called A Rocket In My Pocket? That's where I learned my version. Yours sounds a lot like mine.

ForgottenLore
03-07-2003, 10:53 AM
Nope, I heard it once from a friend of mine, and for some reason it has stuck with me for twenty plus years.

Squange
03-07-2003, 11:29 AM
I heard this one when I was a kid:

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
itty bitty birdie feet,
ten gallon cans of all-purpose porpoise pus
and I forgot my spoon,

So give me a ham sandwich with puke on top,
Monkey vomit and camel snot,
Elephant eyeballs and toenails too,
Eat it all cuz it's good for you!


Then there's always:
All the girls in France do the Hula Hula dance
And the way they shake
Is the way you kill a snake.
When the snake is dead they stick flowers in their head.
When the flowers die it is 1969.

On the planet Mars, all the ladies smoke cigars,
And the men don't care cuz they chew their underwear.


Where did we come up with this stuff?

matt_mcl
03-07-2003, 12:26 PM
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Perforated people feet,
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
And I forgot my spoon.

Archergal
03-07-2003, 01:25 PM
Originally posted by Fugazi
And me without my spoon
(I've got a straw)

Like Barrytown the "I've got a straw" part is sang to the tune of "...and many more"
You guys, what really MAKES the song is the loud, slurpy noise you make after you sing (my version) "But I brought my straw... SLLLLUUUURRRRPPPPPP."

Follow the slurp with a loud smacking of lips and you'll gross out most people over the age of 8.

Cargogal
03-07-2003, 04:34 PM
My youth is coming back to me...

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We are torturing the teachers, we are breaking all the rules
We broke into his office and we ticled the principool,
The truth is marching on.

Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ru-lah
I conked her on the bean
With a moldy tangerine
And the teacher don't teach no more.

On top of old Smokey
A thousand feet tall
I shot my old teacher
With a big booger ball.
I shot her with glory,
I shot her with pride;
How could I miss her?
She's forthy feet wide.

Cargogal
03-07-2003, 04:35 PM
'Tickled,' ugh. My teachers would be disgusted.

MisterThyristor
03-07-2003, 05:12 PM
Originally posted by Squange


On the planet Mars, all the ladies smoke cigars,
And the men don't care cuz they chew their underwear.


Where did we come up with this stuff?

The rhythm and rhyme of that one sounds vaguely like the one from WW2:

Well, I'm goin' to Nagasaki, where the men all chew tobaccy,
and the women wicky-wacky-woo.

(pronouncing Nagasaki to rhyme with tobaccy, of course)

KRC
03-07-2003, 07:44 PM
My version of "Battle Hymn of the School" (or whatever it's called) went:

"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher/We have broken every rule
We are marching down the halls writing cusswords on the walls
Our truth is marching on!

Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
Hit her in the butt with a rotten coconut
And she ain't my teacher no more!"

There were various ways of removing the teacher--one could "find a .22 and put it in her shoe," "hide behind the door with a loaded .44," "meet her at the bank with a loaded Russian tank," or "find a hand grenade and put it in her lemonade." We got away with singing that stuff in the 70's but I don't know how well it would go over today.

JRootabega
03-07-2003, 07:57 PM
I hereby invalidate all versions in which the penultimate line doesn't end with an "eee" sound, because the last three lines need to rhyme.

Furthermore, lines such as "chopped up monkey meat" aren't correct because they break up the rhythm. All lines need to be as packed with syllables as they can, so the jaunty flow is maintained.

And where is


"French fried eyeballs rolled around and fricasseed"

katiekilldare
03-07-2003, 08:32 PM
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
chopped-up parrots' feet
lukewarm vomit rollin' down the avenue
Darn, I forgot my spoon!
(But I got my straw.)

I can't believe no one else sang about lukewarm vomit. You guys are missing OUT.

Lionors
03-07-2003, 08:36 PM
Every version of the immortal 'Great Green Gobs' seems to have been covered here (although as a Navy brat, I noticed that the versions seemed to vary according to region.) The only different version I recall ended the list of...er...ingredients...with 'running down the drain'.

My recollection of 'Mine Eyes' is almost precisely the same as the one Hoopy Frood did, and I fondly remember the 'Comet' song as well. Does anyone else remember these camp staples, though?

Both sung to the tune of My Bonny:

My Bonny has tuberculosis
My Bonny has only one lung
My Bonny spits bloody corrosis**
And rolls it around on her tongue.

Don't spit it out
Don't spit it out
Save it to flavor your beans and kraut!

[repeat refrain once].

** I have no idea what in the heck word this was, but that's what it sounded like.


And then the other one that used to make my poor mom gag:


My stomach is in a commotion
I long to lean over the rail
I fear that I'll dirty the ocean
Won't somebody bring me a pail?

Come up
Come up
Come up sweet dinner, come up, come up!
Come up
Come up
Come up sweet dinner come up!

in a high-pitched wistful tone

I'mmmmmm comiiiiiiinnnnngggg....
I'mmmmmm comiiiiiinnnnngggg...
For I can't stay here an-y-moooore....

shouting

Hasten, Jason, bring the basin!

Make most gut-wrenching retching sound possible and continue with great good cheer

Too late, bring the mop!

Ah, memories...

swampbear
03-07-2003, 08:52 PM
I remember.....

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdies feet
And you without a spoon to eat
But you can use my straw.

Only on the SDMB could such jewels as Great Green Gobs and Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory Of The Burning Of The School pop up.

I looooooooooove this message board. :D

Lynne_kilii
03-08-2003, 12:05 AM
Originally posted by Janx
Well guys, in my version the monkey meat is chopped and the birdie feet are mutilated, which goes to show that you all ended up with poor variations on the true version, But fear not, I shall enlighten your impoverished souls.

Ahem....

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Chopped up monkey meat,
mutilated birdie feet,
French fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood,
OOOoooh! I forgot my SPOOooooOOON!

Thank you, thank you, just trying to help.
:D


MY IMPOVERISHED SOUL HAS BEEN ENLIGHTENED! :D

No really. I was reading this thread going "No..... Close.... Maybe..... No....... No...... Maybe...... Close, but no....... no..... YES!!!!!!!!!"

Thanks! I thought I'd never find my version.

**wipes a tear from my eye**

Linus Van Pelt
03-08-2003, 07:34 AM
Hmmm. Anybody else find it ineresting that there is no variation in the first line, and almost no variation in the second? You can change the song all around, but you'd better have them greasy grimy gopher guts and mutilitated monkey meat.

Anyway, the two variations I remember on the last three lines...

Itty bitty birdy feet
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts (yes, it repeated)
You can eat without a spoon

I always found the image of digging in with your hands added something...

Also...

French fried eyeballs
Ground up snail snot roasted over vulture venom
And I forgot my spoon.

Ha! I'm the first one to remember the snail snot.

I remember a kids' record called "On Top of Spaghetti" that contained somewhat cleaned up versions of many of these (In the Battle Hymn of the School, I think they marched down to the office and tickled the Principal) along with the title song.

Little Bird
03-08-2003, 07:58 PM
I just wanted to say that I heard what you people are trying to do to my feet, and you are sick! Sick I tells ya!

AllShookDown
03-09-2003, 12:42 AM
My version goes...

Great big gobs of greasy, grimey gopher guts
Amputated animal fat, mutilated monkey meat
Great big gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts
Gee, I forgot my spoon


What are the words to this one? I never did learn the whole thing.

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms crawl in and all over your snout

Rand
03-09-2003, 10:13 AM
When I was in school a favorite song went as follows,
"On top of old smoky all covered in blood, I shot my poor teacher with a .44 slug, I went to her funeral I went to her grave, some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade." to the tune of the childrens song "On top of spagghetti"

And of course "Joy to the world Saddam is dead, I blew off his head, don't worry about his body I flushed it down the potty and down to hell it goes x3." to the tune of ... duh... Joy to the world the christmas carol.

And then there is " Randolph the shiny gunned cowboy, had a very shiny gun, and if you ever saw it, you would drop your pants and run. All of the other cowboys used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor randolph join in any cowboy games, then one foggy halloween the sheriff came to say... Randolph with your gun so bright won't you kill my wife tonight? Then all the cowboys loved him as they shouted out in glee Yeehaw, Randolph the shiny gunned cowboy, best shot in the penitentary."
to the tune of Rudolph the red nosed reighndeer, (note the sheriffs voice is imitatedly that of a 80 year old man with a heavy drawling old west stereotypical accent)

does anyone else remember these?

80sHairMetalMaven
03-09-2003, 02:53 PM
LOL*These are too funny.
But NONE of them are exactly as I remember learning the "Great green gobs' song from Girl Scouts.
<i>Great green gobs of greasy,grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, itty bitty birdy feet
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts and me without a spoon (aw shucks!) and me without a spoon.
But I have a straaaaaaaaaaaaaaawww!</i>
Girl Scouts was so cool...our counselors taught us the WORST songs I swear.:D

IDBB

waddamaroon
03-09-2003, 07:28 PM
AllShookDown-I'll try, it's been 40 years:

"Have you ever seen a hearse go by
thinking you might be the next to die?

They roll you up in a bloody sheet
throw you down about six feet deep.

The worms crall in, the worms crawl out
the worms play pinochle on your snout.

Your teeth decay, your eyes turn green
pus comes out like shaving cream.

You spread it on some moldy bread
that's what you eat when you are dead".

I'm sure I'm missing a verse or three.

MisterThyrister-is that Hoagy Carmichael? Or what?

if you don't know i won't tell
03-09-2003, 11:16 PM
Ok, eh, maybe I just grew up in a really innocent place, but you guys are GROSS!!! I can't believe teachers allowed this sort of stuff to be sang at school and such... let alone parents. Now, that being said, Rand's version of the meatball song is the only one I sang as a child. I thought it was gross then, too. Perhaps it's an elitist thing... who knows lol carry on though, it's certainly nice to see people sharing childhood memories, even if they are rather barf inducing. :rolleyes:

Hoopy Frood
03-10-2003, 07:13 AM
Originally posted by KRC
We got away with singing that stuff in the 70's but I don't know how well it would go over today.

It worked in the 80's as well.

I forgot to add a few others in my last post.

The Christmas song versions:

Joy to the world, the school blew up
And all the teachers died.
Except for the principal, who's hanging on the flagpole
With a rope around his neck, with a rope around his neck
With a rope, a rope around his neck.

And then there's this little gem:

Deck the halls with gasoline.
Fa la la la....
Strike a match and watch it gleam.
Fa la la la....
Watch the school house burn to ashes.
Fa la la la....
Aren't you glad you played with matches.
Fa la la la....

Hoopy Frood
03-10-2003, 07:39 AM
Incidentally, the guy who wrote on top of spaghetti died a week or so ago. Not to long after Fred Rogers.

As far as the worm song, this is how we learned it:

You may laugh when the hearse goes by
but you may be the next one to die.
They'll wrap you up in a nice clean sheet
And bury you about six feet deep.
They'll put you in a wooden box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks.
And all goes good for about a week,
Until the coffin begins to leak!

Then....

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
And they play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your clothes, they eat your hat,
They crawl in skinny, they come out fat.

They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
They eat your guts and then spit them out.

They use your bones as telephones
and call you up but you're no longer at home
A great big worm with rolling eyes,
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes,

Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it on a slice of bread,
And that's what worms eat when you're dead.

waddamaroon
03-10-2003, 11:30 PM
Wow! I missed the whole freakin' song.:smack:

MisterThyristor
03-13-2003, 02:09 AM
Originally posted by waddamaroon

MisterThyrister-is that Hoagy Carmichael? Or what?

I was quoting it from memory and apparently got it wrong -- it's "where the fellers chew tobaccy" and it was written by Mort Dixon to music by Harry Warren.

The lyrics can be found here (http://www.harrywarren.org/songs/0362.htm).

I think it has been performed over the years by several groups, I can't remember where I heard it, probably from my father.

That's probably where I also learned the following two verses to "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean":

My Bonnie looked into a gas tank,
A cistern she thought it to be.
She lighted a match to see better,
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me!

My Bonnie went looking for mushrooms,
Some toadstools she happened to see.
She had them last night for her supper,
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me!

TGWATY
03-13-2003, 03:07 PM
The way I learned it, it was a song about the enemy: girls

(tune of "Old Gray Mare")
Girls are made of greasy, grimey gopher guts
French fried parakeet
Hard-boiled monkey's feet

Bloody eyeballs rolling down a dirty street

(The last line is spoken ominously.)

swampbear
03-13-2003, 04:02 PM
Rand my child version of Ol' Smokey went"

On top of ol' smokey
All covered in blood
I shot my dear teacher
With a .44 slug.
I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I could not have missed her
She's 40 feet wide.

kellyj
09-28-2010, 11:48 PM
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated mokey meet, little dirty terdy feet
French fried eyeballs sitting in a cooler,
but I forgot my spoon...

so they gave me a scab sandwich with mustard on top
eagle eyeballs and camel snots
all these things don't fit in a pot,
so they gave me puke with a cherry on top...bop!

This was a hand game for two people, and who ever hit the other person on the head first when you say "bop" wins.

FlyingRat
09-29-2010, 05:59 AM
I don't even remember when I learned this version, which falls under the "straw+extra" section of the taxonomy:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Shredded baby parakeet
Stir-fried eyeballs rollin' down a dirty street
I forgot my spoon, but not my straw! *slurp* Aaah!

(invariably followed by: )
Alka-Seltzer to the rescue!
Plop plop, fizz fizz, OH what a relief it is!


Does anyone else remember the "Baby Bumblebee" song? Starts off like this:

I'm pickin' up a baby bumblebee
Won't my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm pickin' up a baby bumblebee--
Ow! It stung me!

My husband and I both learned this song as kids but he was horrified at how gross mine was. (involves not wiping, but licking off the bumblebee, and goes from there)

Cub Mistress
09-29-2010, 07:43 AM
This is the version we sang in my tenure as a Girl Scout:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat, little piggies' hairy feet,
all mixed up with snot and eyeballs,
floating in a barrel of pus.

Biffy the Elephant Shrew
09-29-2010, 08:51 AM
Hmmm. Anybody else find it ineresting that there is no variation in the first line, and almost no variation in the second?

(Yes, I know I'm responding to a seven-year-old post)

The version I knew as a kid went:

Girls are made of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Chopped-up monkey meat
Concentrated birdies' feet
French fried eyeballs swimming in a pool
Ain't that a bloody treat?

Qadgop the Mercotan
09-29-2010, 09:21 AM
Zombie guts lyrics

VunderBob
09-29-2010, 10:00 AM
My sister and I changed the lyrics to suit us, and I've forgotten the version we actually learned. Our version was:


Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meet,
two little birdie feet.
Top it of with something
tasting really sweet.
Eat it for a midnight snack.

[ed: remember the old Campbells' Soup commercials? this line is spoken]
And don't forget the spoon 'cuz it's mm-mm GOOD!

ETA: My first response to a known zombie thread, too.

johnpost
09-29-2010, 10:22 AM
mmm......zombie guts

nobody has entered this into

What Song(s) Do You Want Played At Your Funeral?

twickster
09-29-2010, 10:39 AM
We're leaving zombies -- even those with greasy grimy gopher guts -- open these days. I also don't see a need to move this to Cafe Society -- though a "song," it's not really about music as much as it is about nostalgia.

Thanks for your reports,

twickster for the SDMB.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
09-29-2010, 06:03 PM
In the great green globs of gishy gooey gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, fried up birdie feet,
and all size cans of all purpose porpoise puss
and me without my spoon....

End with:

...floating in pink champagne!

YUM!

FoieGrasIsEvil
09-29-2010, 06:51 PM
Interesting. It seems that the first two lines are mostly the same across variants but the biggest diversion is always in the third line.

Anyway, here's how we sung it in the 1970's:

Great big gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdie's feet
All topped off with vibrating vulture vomit
And I forgot my spoon.

Can't believe nobody else had the "vibrating vulture vomit" in their version. Much like rotating meat, vomit is always better to eat when moving, or in this case, vibrating.

FloatyGimpy
09-29-2010, 09:31 PM
ooey gooey green grimy gopher guts
chopped up monkey's feet
percolated birdy turd
french-fried eyeballs dipped in a pool of blood
get it at your favourite store

the spoon is freeeeeeeeeee.

fancydarlin
02-14-2013, 08:06 AM
[QUOTE=Hoopy Frood;3097074][/b]

Did that one when I was younger:

Sung to the tune of the Colonel Bogie March from Bridge on the River Kwai
Comet! It makes your teeth turn green!
Comet! It tastes like gasoline.
Comet! It makes you vomit.
So grab some comet and vomit today.


I heard the next part like this:

Vomit it makes your teeth turn blue
Vomit it tastes like elmers glue
Vomit it tastes like comet
So get some vomit and comet today.

pseudotriton ruber ruber
02-14-2013, 08:33 AM
Can antone help me out here?

I wish Antone would answer him already.

Malthus
02-14-2013, 10:19 AM
The version I heard:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Marinated chicken feet
All served up on a piece of yummy Wonder bread
But Malthus forgot his spoon!
(... but he brought a strawwwwww)

Dendarii Dame
02-14-2013, 02:36 PM
At my school it was "Massive mounds of monkey meat" after the first line, and I've forgotten the rest.

TBG
02-15-2013, 09:20 PM
Version I know (learned from the kid who lived across the street from me in the 80's)

Great big gobs of
Greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little pickled birdy feet
French fried eyeballs
Swimmin in a pool of blood
And I forgot my spoon!
How bout a straaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

Baker
02-15-2013, 10:25 PM
I have the book in this link, if you are at all interested in subversive children's rhymes, this is for you.

http://books.google.com/books/about/Greasy_Grimy_Gopher_Guts.html?id=kdSAAAAACAAJ

SCAdian
02-16-2013, 12:26 AM
(Michigan, early 1960s)

"Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Itty-bitty birdie feet
French-fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood
And me without my spoon!"

I see only one person has mentioned the "itty-bitty birdie feet."


As for the worm song, we sang it as:

"The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The ants play pinochle on your snout"


"Glory, glory, hallelujah": The most common version was "Met her at the door with a loaded .44," but "Hit her in the bean with a rotten tangerine" and "...in the butt with a rotten coconut" were also heard.

terentii
02-16-2013, 04:04 AM
Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little turdy-birdie feet.
Great big gobs of vomit rollin' down the street,
And me without my spoon! :(

Beware of Doug
02-16-2013, 04:47 AM
In Iowa about 1973, I learned this with "milamated monkey meat" and "concentrated piggy feet."

"Milamated" doesn't seem to turn up anywhere else. The kid who vectored the song probably didn't know the word "mutilated."

Spiderman
02-17-2013, 01:03 PM
Haven't seen this variant yet:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher gut
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeet
All wrapped up in all purpoise porpise skin
For your Mom & Dad.

Does anyone know of a version with a [B]re-zombied verse?

DirtyGib
02-25-2014, 11:33 AM
Am I along?

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkeys feet
Roasty toasty parakeet
Rotten eyeballs floating in a bowl of pus
That's what I love to eat

cwthree
02-25-2014, 02:45 PM
As long as someone else has already zombified this thread...

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Contaminated monkey meat,
Chopped up baby parakeet,
Nine green eyeballs,
Fried in a frying pan -
Darn! I forgot my spoon.
(pause)
How about a straaaaaaaw?

Intolt
02-26-2014, 12:03 AM
About the Worms song:

Pogues (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAC47w80lSI)

I've tried to find the link to a site that is a repository of these schoolyard songs, but have been unsuccessful.

and I know this is an old thread. Sorry, but sometimes they are the best ones.

Mander
02-26-2014, 01:25 AM
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Chopped up baby parakeet
Cows eye balls and
Percolated pimple pus
And me with out a spoon
But I got a straw!

And the teacher one...

On top of old smokey
all covered with sand
I shot my poor teacher
with a red rubber band
I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I shot her between her
2 big fat eyes
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
I didn't throw flowers
I threw a grenade

My aunt taught me this one..

You know one day when a hearse goes by
you know that you are gonna die
they'll wrap you up in a wooden skirt
and cover you over with gravel and dirt
you'll be alright for about a week
then your coffin begins to leak
you turn an icky sticky green
the pus runs out like whipping cream
the ants play pinochle on your snout
the worms crawl in the worms crawl out

Baker
02-26-2014, 03:53 AM
About the Worms song:

Pogues (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAC47w80lSI)

I've tried to find the link to a site that is a repository of these schoolyard songs, but have been unsuccessful.

and I know this is an old thread. Sorry, but sometimes they are the best ones.

Pssst! See post #83.

FalconFinder
02-26-2014, 10:56 PM
Old Thread, but my version was not listed:

Great green globs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, toasted little birdy feet
French fried eyeballs, swimming in a pool of blood
Me without my spoon!

bmoak
02-27-2014, 09:31 AM
Wow! My childhood version has slightly different wording:

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, chopped up baby parakeet
French-fried eyeballs rolling down a dirty street
And I forgot my spoon!

geekbus
07-03-2014, 01:18 PM
A friend and I were remembering this little tune today, and it occurred to me to Google and see what the "real" words might be. I too am fascinated by the seeming regional variation and by the consistency of the beginning (so to speak).

I first heard it and instantly loved it, of course, in early grade school in San Mateo, CA in the late 50's/early 60's. I will remember it until my dying day, for whatever reason. Our version, inexplicably, was:

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, roasty toasty birdie doo
All rolled up in Peabody's purple puff
That's what we're having for lunch.

Go figure. This was before the days of LSD in that area, by the way ...

Yllaria
07-03-2014, 02:14 PM
Girls are made of greasy, grimy, gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little birdies' dirty feet,
Humal eyeballs floating in a gorey sauce,
And, oops, I forgot my spoon.

That was in the early sixties in southern California.

My grandfather taught me the one that starts:
"Did you ever think, when the hearst went by, . . ."

So I'm guessing that some of these are ooold.