A question for the ladies

[Greathouse]

Ok, one more question. Are all roses a bad call or just red roses. I asked a mutual friend at work, and she told me that usually as long as they aren't red it's cool. Is this right?

(Can you tell I haven't done this in a while?) :)

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-Jesus Saves
He passes to Mike Modano. THEY SCORE!!!

[BunnyGirl]

I still think roses are a little strong. Mostly considering that it doesn't sound like she knows you want to date her plus the fact that she just broke up with her b-friend. To me, the following equation makes sense: roses=pressure.

I think Kara is right on the nose: a nice seasonal bouquet. She'll think, "Oh isn't he sweet." but not think you're trying to make a move on her necessarily (which she may not be wanting right now with the breakup and all).

[saraam]

Quite frankly, I think roses are boring and a cop-out for a guy sending flowers. What is far more endearing is the guy who will do a little investigative work to find out what your favorite flower is. (Very few women I know would say roses). At any rate, if you really want to date this woman, I'd wait about six months. Otherwise, if she were the one to end the relationship, she wants to be free right now. If she were the breakee, you get to deal with the baggage that will take a good long time to shed, or else the abuse she wishes she could be dumping on him.

[Greathouse]

Cool. Thanks y'all. If it works out ok, I'll let you know.

Thanks for the help.

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-Jesus Saves
He passes to Mike Modano. THEY SCORE!!!

[Shayna]

I vote for sending her flowers. And a seasonal bouquet is definitely the way to go. Some people say that, while red roses indicate love, yellow roses represent friendship, but I still think any roses would be a bit too much under the circumstances.

Good luck, btw!

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"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." -- Lily Tomlin

[Byzantine]

Yes, roses, no matter what the color, are a very strong LOVE flower IMHO. However, personally, it is also my favorite flower. Especially peach colored roses. Mmmmmm... now, you can send those flowers to me at:

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Best!
Byz

[AWB]

I overstepped the flower-giving once. Someone at work had mentioned that a barmaid at a local restaurant had been in a car wreck and lost her in-utero baby. That sounded like a friend of mine, so I checked with her co-workers. It indeed was. :( I immediately sent a dozen roses out to her hospital room.

I talked with her after she got out. She loved the flowers, but then related this story. A friend of hers came by the hospital and saw the flowers and said how sweet her husband was. My friend smiled and said they weren't from her husband. Oops

I really didn't mean to show up her husband.

[missdavis102]

Of course if you're dead set on sending roses, have some rosebuds or small blossoms in a coordinating color added in with the seasonal bouquet. The best bouquet I ever recieved at work was from one of our clients; he sent me a springtime basket of pink roses, carnations, tulips, and lilies. In that instance, the roses were not over-the-top.
Good luck!

[GraceTX]

I agree with everyone below. Don't go with the roses.

Personally, I'd much rather have daisies, purple iris, or a pretty arrangement. Heck, I think even a birthday balloon bouquet is nice.

And just on a side note, from someone who used to work in a flower shop, Roses die too fast. There are a lot of flowers (alstromeria, carnations, daisies, lysianthus, etc) that will last a long time. Heck, if you're going to spend some cash may as well make them last.


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"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

[elelle]

I agree with roses being too strong a symbol. After that, there are two ways you could go. A nice bouquet, especially in her favorite colors if you know them- perhaps a clue in the way she dresses. Or, since it's jingle bell time; a Holiday arrangement, in which case you can gallantly step in and say you wanted to give her something to brighten her holiday, knowing she had just broken up and all...

[Minty Rae]

What is far more endearing is the guy who will do a little investigative work to find out what your favorite flower is. (Very few women I know would say roses).

Count me as one who would say roses. There are many flowers to rival a rose's beauty, but few things on this earth to rival its scent.

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The Minty One

[Suzeanne]

Something else you might want to think about: cut flowers die. An ivy (or similiarly easy to care for plant) in a decorative planter (especially when touched up with balloons or silk flowers) is something that lasts substantially longer. Right there you avoid the whole potential "flower" stigma, AND give her a constant reminder of how groovy you are to be thinking about her.

Miniature rosebushes, bromeliads, and African violets are also other good choices that get the flowers into the scene as well, and the bromeliad is a nicely exotic twist on things.

Before we were stuck in a tiny apartment, my husband never bought me roses (I always hated having to face them dying to make me happy). Instead, every year, I'd get a new rosebush that would continue to produce flowers for years to follow. The smell was always sweeter that way, too, since most commercial long-stem roses have been so overbred to produce the perfect Look, that they've bred the fragrance right out of them. I'm SO much happier with a plant over cut flowers.

But show up at my door with a few hundred daisies and sunflowers, and I'm yours. Something about them = portable sunshine, and they work every time.

[Catrandom]

I'm with Suzeanne: A plant is even better than flowers. There's no way anyone could put a wrong interpretation on a houseplant, and it will (with any luck) be around a while. If it doesn't live, well, she'll have a nice planter. A plant could easily be a "friend" thing rather than specifically a "boyfriend" thing.

Of course, my preference may have something to do with the fact that I am deathly allergic to all flowers with a scent.

Catrandom

[timmar68]

I LOVE getting flowers at work! One time I got them from someone who wanted to ask me out, too. He remembered what my favorite flowers are and sent those.

So I say go for it and do what the others suggested and find out what her favorite kind is. :)

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MaryAnn
No, stupid, it's a boat!

[Greathouse]

Ok, I have a female friend who recently broke up with her long time boyfriend. I'm interested in asking her out, but she hasn't been broken up that long. Her birthday is coming up, and I was thinking about having some flowers delivered to the office for her B-Day. Would it bother any of you ladies if a friend who you know wants to go out with you sent you flowers to your work? She only broke up with her ex about 6 weeks ago.

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-Jesus Saves
He passes to Mike Modano. THEY SCORE!!!

go for it

[Byzantine]

WOW! Um, my birthday is....

I think it's a great idea as long as you chose a nice bouquet. Unless you are very SURE of her reaction I wouldn't send anything like roses... that's a serious flower to get. That's the LOVE flower. But a nice selection of what ever is in season? Yes, every woman (well, all of them that I know anyway) love getting flowers.


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Best!
Byz

[BunnyGirl]

Flowers are always good; they can mean whatever you want. I agree about staying away from roses though.

Yeah, I agree with Byz - roses are
definitely too strong a message, but there's
absolutely nothing wrong that I can see in
sending a nice seasonal bouquet (yich, isnt
_that_ a smarmy phrase) on someone's
birthday. I'd be very pleased to get
flowers (if I liked cut bouquets - which I
dont - but then thats just my odd little
quirk, or one of them). Let us know her
reaction.



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Settle for what you can get, but first ask for the world.
--Ka'a Orto'o, Gnomic Utterances C iv

Tulips are great! red,yellow,and white.

[Diane]

JMHO - Carnations seem cheap, roses are too serious, a lot of ceramic planters are tacky, balloons are getting stale, but a huge bouquet of white daisies or a mixture of wild flowers would be perfect for a birthday.

You could also consider something a little different - a candy bouquet.

Oh, and count me in as a female who loves roses.

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>^,,^<
KITTEN
Fluff yer hair Beula, I’s feelin frisky - M.S.

[Atrael]

I don't know if I think rose's are too strong, as long as you use yellow....but if you want to be a little more reserved, go to the florist, and pick out the flowers that you think look nice...not only a nice shape, but perhaps a little unusual also. I always select most of the "main" flowers for a bouquet then let the florist add babies breath or some fern.

Just another small hint for more seriouse flower-sending times. One of the things that I like to do is have the flowers sent at different times....For example, I'll send her one red rose in a vase first...then an hour later, they'll deliver two roses...then three the next hour and the fourth hour is a few additional flowers to make it a half-dozen roses, and some other nice selections to make a unique bouquet. Of course you usually have to pay more to have them delivered like that, but it's a nice touch.

Oh, and 6 months is waaaay to long to wait...6 weeks is about right...

[Moonshine]

I agree with Atrael, it mighn'tbe a good idea to make her feel like she is being put under pressure, out of the blue, by a bunch of red roses from somebody she didn't even know had thrown his hat in the ring, some other flower may be better, and six months is way way too long. In my experience six weeks is just fine, any longer and you run the serious risk that some other charmer will happen upon her and your train will have left the station, as it were. Good luck.

[missdavis102]

I agree with Diane, whatever you do, don't send carnations if you can help it. In Europe, anyway, it is the death flower, associated with funerals and not much else. Mixed in an arrangement with other flowers, a few aren't too bad, but don't send them on their own like a cheap version of roses. Very Bad.

Of course the best idea anyone's come up with is to find out what is her favorite flower and send her that. (I'm a tulip girl, myself.)

ACACIA - Concealed Love, Beauty in Retirement, Chaste Love

AMBROSIA - Your Love is Reciprocated

AMARYLLIS - Pride, Pastoral Poetry

ANEMONE - Forsaken

ARBUTUS - Thee Only Do I Love

ASTER - Symbol of Love, Daintiness

AZALEA -Take Care of Yourself for Me,Temperance, Fragile Passion,
Chinese Symbol of Womanhood

BACHELOR BUTTON - Single Blessedness
BEGONIA - Beware

BELLS OF IRELAND -Good Luck

BITTERSWEET - Truth

BLUEBELL - Humility

CACTUS - Endurance

CAMELLIA (PINK) - Longing for you

CAMELLIA (RED) - You're a Flame in My Heart

CAMELLIA (WHITE) - You're Adorable

CARNATION (GENERAL) - Fascination, Woman Love

CARNATION (PINK) - I'll Never Forget You

CARNATION (RED) -My Heart Aches For You,
Admiration

CARNATION (PURPLE) - Capriciousness

CARNATION (SOLID COLOR) -Yes

CARNATION (STRIPED) - No, Refusal, Sorry I Can't Be With You, Wish I Could Be With You

CARNATION (WHITE) - Sweet and Lovely, Innocence, Pure Love, Woman's Good Luck Gift

CARNATION (YELLOW) - You Have Disappointed me, Rejection

CATTAIL - Peace, prosperity
Prosperity
CHRYSANTHEMUM(GENERAL) - You're a Wonderful Friend, Cheerfulness and Rest.

CHRYSANTHEMUM (WHITE) - Truth
h
CHRYSanthemum(YELLOW) -Slighted Love

CROCUS-Cheerfulness

CYCLAMEN - Resignation and Good-bye

DAFFODIL - Regard, Unrequited Love, You're the Only One, The Sun is Always
Shining when I'm with You

DAISY - Innocence, Loyal Love, I'll Never Tell,
Purity
DAndelion- Faithfulness, Happiness

FERN - Magic, Fascination, Confidence and
Shelter
FIR - Time

FLAX - Domestic Symbol

FORGET-ME-NOT - True Love, Memories

FORSYTHIA - Anticipation

GARDENIA - You're Lovely, Secret Love

GERANIUM - Stupidity, Folly

GLADIOLI - Give Me a Break, I'm Really
Sincere, Flower of the Gladiators

GLOXINIA - Love at First Sight

HEATHER (LAVENDER) - Admiration, Solitude

HEATHER (WHITE) - Protection, Wishes Will Come True

HOLLY - Defense, Domestic Happiness

HYACINTH (GENERAL) - Games and Sports, Rashness,Flower Dedicated to Apollo

HYACINTH (BLUE) - Constancy

HYACINTH (PURPLE) - I am Sorry, Please Forgive Me,Sorrow

HYACINTH (RED OR PINK) - Play

HYACINTH (WHITE) - Loveliness, I'll Pray for You

HYACINTH (YELLOW) - Jealousy

HYDRANGEA - Thank You for Understanding,
Frigidity, Heartlessness

IRIS - Fleur-de-lis, Emblem of France,
Your Friendship Means so Much to
Me, Faith, Hope, Wisdom and
Valor, My Compliments

IVY - Wedded Love, Fidelity, Friendship,
Affection

JONQUIL - Love Me, Affection Returned,
Desire, Sympathy, Desire for Affection Returned

LARKSPUR (PINK) - Fickleness

LILY (WHITE) - Virginity, Purity, Majesty, It's Heavenly to be with You

LILY (YELLOW) - I'm Walking on Air, False and Gay

LILY (CALLA) - Beauty

LILY (DAY) - Coquetry, Chinese Emblem for
Mother

LILY (EUCHARIS) - Maiden Charms

LILY (TIGER) - Wealth, Pride

LILY OF THE VALLEY - Sweetness, Tears of the Virgin Mary, Return to Happiness, Humility,
You've Made My Life Complete

MAGNOLIA - Nobility

MARIGOLD - Cruelty, Grief, Jealousy

MISTLETOE - Kiss me, Affection, To Surmount
Difficulties, Sacred Plant of India

MONKSHOOD - Beware, A Deadly Foe is Near

MOSS - Maternal Love, Charity

MYRTLE -Love, Hebrew Emblem of Marriage

NARCISSUS - Egotism, Formality, Stay as Sweet
as You Are
NASTURTIUM -Conquest, Victory in Battle

OLEANDER - Caution

ORANGE BLOSSOM - Innocence, Eternal Love, Marriage and Fruitfulness

ORANGE MOCK - Deceit

ORCHID - Love, Beauty, Refinement, Beautiful
Lady, Chinese Symbol for Many
Children

ORCHID (CATTLEYA) Mature Charm

PALM LEAVES - Victory and Success

PEONY - Shame, Happy Life, Happy
Marriage
PETUNIA - Resentment, Anger, Your Presence
Sooths Me
PINE - Hope, Pity

POPPY (GENERAL) - Eternal Sleep, Oblivion, Imagination

POPPY (RED) - Pleasure


POPPY (WHITE) - Consolation

POPPY (YELLOW) - Wealth, Success

PRIMROSE - I Can't Live Without You

PRIMROSE (EVENING) -Inconstancy

ROSE (BRIDAL) - Happy Love

ROSE (DARK CRIMSON) - Mourning

ROSE (HIBISCUS) - Delicate Beauty

ROSE (LEAF) -You May Hope

ROSE (PINK) - Perfect Happiness, Please Believe Me

ROSE (RED) - Love, I Love You

ROSE (TEA) - I'll Remember Always

ROSE (THORNLESS) - Love at First Sight

ROSE (WHITE) - Innocence and Purity, I am Worthy of You, You're Heavenly, Secrecy and
Silence

ROSE (WHITE AND RED MIXED) -
Unity, Flower Emblem of England

ROSE (WHITE-DRIED) - Death is Preferable to Loss of Virtue

ROSE (YELLOW) - Decrease of Love, Jealousy, Try to Care


ROSEBUD - Beauty and Youth, A Heart Innocent
of Love

ROSEBUD (RED) - Pure and Lovely

ROSEBUD (WHITE) - Girlhood

ROSEBUD (MOSS) - Confessions of Love

ROSES (Bouquet of MatureBlooms) -
Gratitude

ROSES (Single Full Bloom) - I Love You, I Still Love You

SMILAX - Loveliness

SNAPDRAGON - Deception, Gracious Lady

SPIDER FLOWER - Elope with Me

STEPHANOTIS - Happiness in Marriage, Desire to Travel

STOCK - Bonds of Affection, Promptness,
You'll Always Be Beautiful to Me

SWEETPEA - Good-bye, Departure, Blissful
Pleasure, Thank You for a Lovely
Time

TULIP (GENERAL) - Perfect Lover, Frame, Flower Emblem of Holland

TULIP (RED) - Believe Me, Declaration of Love

TULIP (VARIEGATED) -Beautiful Eyes

TULIP (YELLOW) - There's Sunshine in Your Smile

VIOLET - Modesty

VIOLET (BLUE) -Watchfulness, Faithfulness, I'll Always Be True

VIOLET (WHITE) - Let's Take a Ch

[Shirley Ujest]

Whew, that took awhile, despite the c&p.

Seems there are no flowers in here that say, "Want to meet for coffee, I swear I'm not a physcopath."

I think roses are a strong message for the first time you send a woman flowers. Anything too elaborate might scare her off or she might expect black orchids every time. Start out simple.

While I like the plant idea, if she isn't keen on dating you ( what a fool she would be!might I add) or not ready yet, etc, then that plant will serve as a reminder to you and her of something that didn't work. That's just my two bits.

OR, if you are totally ballsy, how about a bonsai tree. You can pick one up for about $20-30, they are easy maintence and you can gift wrap it up after decorating it with mini ornaments. This might be coming out of the chute a little strong as well. I'm just shooting idears off the top of my skull.

How about a chia pet :) Get the one that is a guy's head, pre grow the plant stuff on it and then somehow hang mistletoe above the guys head with a note from you :) Everyone secretly wants a chia pet.

Since it sounds like her birthday is in December, why not BE TOTALLY different and NOT have an XMAS floral display. Do something springy: tulips, daisies....That way she will notice the extra effort put into the arrangment.

Of course, whatever you pick, the most important thing is the message....

Perhaps us dopers can help you out ( if you want it)

[Greathouse]

Of course, whatever you pick, the most important thing is the message....

Perhaps us dopers can help you out ( if you want it)


I didn't even think of that. Any help would be great. I'm not to much of a word man.

I'm shy as hell.

------------------
-Jesus Saves
He passes to Mike Modano. THEY SCORE!!!

[Shirley Ujest]

I'm a bit pressed for time right now, but the first thing off the top of my head is:

"Here's to your best birthday ever"

[handy]

If I was going to ask a girl out, I would do it to her face not thru some messenger of some sort, I suppose. Flowers are okay, better if given in person.

6 weeks you say? Thats not much for a relationship that went on for years.

[Girl Next Door]

Something I like to do when sending flowers (especially if I'm doing it over the phone) is to ask for a "presentation bouquet". Those are the ones that don't come stuck in the foam in a basket, but rather are gathered up in a bouquet and presented in a long box. Classy, nice, and there's always a part of me that has to do the Miss America weeping wave when I am given a nice long bouquet of flowers. :)

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Leslie Irish Evans
http://leslie.scrappy.net

[Greathouse]

If I was going to ask a girl out, I would do it to her face not thru some messenger of some sort, I suppose. Flowers are okay, better if given in person.

I'm not really asking her out right now. I mainly just want to let her know that even though she may be depressed about her recent break up that she is still a beautiful woman, and that men are still attracted to her. Also to maybe say that when she feels she is ready I would like to go out with her (no rush though). At that time, I would definately ask her in person.

------------------
-Jesus Saves
He passes to Mike Modano. THEY SCORE!!!