How to drop a friend who won't drop

[Essured]

Help. Friend or ex-friend advice requested.

I had a friend. We were fairly close friends for three years. High school ended, we both went our separate ways.

Six years later she gets my mobile number and email address and starts calling and messaging me. I agree to meet with her for lunch, we talk for half an hour, mostly pleasant reminiscing about high school and chatting about what we've done since and part ways with no plans to meet again.

She keeps calling. And calling and calling and calling. And messaging me constantly. I have responded to two messages out of approx. 30 and she hasn't stopped. So the 'be distant' approach isn't working.

I have nothing in common with this person, I have no interest in renewing our friendship. We've both grown in opposite directions, have different goals, interests and lifestyles and to be frank, she bores the crap out of me.

How do I get the message across that I don't want to be 'buddies' with her ? I have been very busy ;) every time she's tried to make plans, but I want to know how to deal with this. I've never had to deal with this sort of thing before, it's just never come up.

I will be a bitch if I have to, but I'd rather not if it isn't totally necessary. So help... what's the nicest way to get that 'drifting away' thing to happen again ?

[Jervoise]

Originally posted by Goo
She keeps calling. And calling and calling and calling. And messaging me constantly. I have responded to two messages out of approx. 30 and she hasn't stopped. So the 'be distant' approach isn't working.Give it time. ;) How long has she been calling you for? If it's only been a week or two, I'd say keep on ignoring or rebuffing her. She'll take the hint, with time.

Telling her flat out "I'm not interested in seeing you again" would be unnecessarily cruel, IMO. Much better to put up with the inconvenience of ignoring phone messages than to hurt someone with good intentions, however misguided.

[Essured]

It's been two months. With phone calls every second day, on average. :(

[kirk280980]

Been there, done that.

Somebody gave a former classmate my e-mail address, and before long he was sending me messages every day. While it's nice to reminisce over shared experiences, the whole thing still felt rather awkward to me. Our lives have gone in completely different directions, and we certainly don't have much in common any more. That's not really a solid basis for a renewed friendship, IMHO.

Of course, to tell someone this outright would probably hurt their feelings unnecessarily. Be pleasant, but don't play down the fact that you and your life have changed considerably over the years. Once the reminiscing has been done to death, they'll eventually work out for themselves that there really isn't much left to pursue, and things will cool off.

[t-keela]

I don't know, how attached you are to your phone# ?

Change it, or block the number she's calling from.

[don't ask]

Compose an email much like the OP. Start it Dear Betty.....

"Accidently" send it to the subject of the OP.