What's your "Ask The [blank]"?

[brainfizz]

There are so many "Ask the ..." threads out there. I was thinking, maybe I should start one, but then I couldn't decide what to put.
I'd rather find out what weird and wonderful areas of expertise you all have.

I could put :

Ask the Trainee British Policeman
Ask the International Poet
Ask the Magic the Gathering Pro Tour Player
Ask the Old Skool Raver
Ask the Cornishman

So, what common, unusual or just plain bizarre field of knowledge/experience do you have?

[Jammers]

Ask the pub quiz reader
Ask the Kevin Smith afficionado
Ask the cheap red wine drinker - none of that poncy crap!
Ask the olive and feta cheese addict


Yay. I hope no-one does, though. Just in case iI have to do battle for the right to remain.

[godzillatemple]

Ask the pocket watch expert
Ask the inactive Mormon
Ask the classically trained singer
Ask the Godzilla fan
Ask the technical writer


Nothing earth-shattering, I'm afraid...

Barry

[Phlosphr]

Ask the Environmental Psychologist
Ask the college Instructor
Ask the hang glider
Ask the avid hiker

[Gundy]

Ask the single mom
Ask the Connect Four champion of greater Chicagoland
Ask the administrative temp
Ask the person who likes to make mosaics but has little time or opportunity to do them
Ask the walking reader

Jeez. That's about it. I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. Maybe jack of some trades.

[Tusculan]

Here we go:

Ask the philosopher,
Ask the Dutch lawyer,
Ask the Dutchman (actually there's enough competition in this area, eh, Coldfire?),
Ask .... ehhhh.

Man, this is disappointing. I used to pride myself on having a rather wide and varied knowledge, but reading the posts in GQ makes me realize that in most subjects I'm just a rank amateur. (Still I just post anyway: lots of 2 cents should add up to a significant amount, no?) I do have a knack for remembering certain kinds of silly facts (what Brits call pub knowledge), unfortunately that's not really a subject you can ask about.

[brainfizz]

It's trickier than it looks!

[NinetyWt]

Ask the Certified Floodplain Manager





what............. why you lookin' at me like that?

[London_Calling]

Ask the British liberal (but not in the UK party political sense) war hawk.

[NE Texan]

Ask the semiconductor engineer
Ask the science fiction book fan oh yeah, as if that one were unique around here
Ask the Boy Scout leader

I think I can sum mine up with "Ask the walking cure for insomnia."

[Bippy the Beardless]

Ask the former international communication top secret data collection adminstrator.
-- but unfortunately for too many questions I would have to refuse to answer because of the nature of the job

Ask the depressed neuro-physicist

Ask the dude who likes food, San Francisco, and being a Bohemian

Cheers, Bippy

[Crusoe]

Ask the bloke who thinks he knows more than he actually does.

[Infovore]

Ask the technical writer
Ask the amateur novelist
Ask the fledgling RPG freelancer
Ask the RPG gamer (or Shadowrun nut in particular)

I'm sorta boring, really...I know a little about a lot, but a lot about not much.

[auntie em]

Ask the:

Director of Information Services and Planning (which means jack, basically, but it sounds good, no?)

Graduate of a predominantly/historically Black womens' college

Spoiled little princess (most of the time)

Dork who secretly believes that if the Gilmore Girls (and Sookie) were real people, I'd be their best friend

[Lady Venom]

Ask the Receptionist/Assistant HR Clerk
Ask the Amateur Herpetologist
Ask the divorcee

[hedra]

I've got some somewhat unusual ones

- Ask the extended breastfeeder (3.25 years)
- Ask the PK (preacher's kid)
- Ask the hypnobirther and pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding information junkie (okay, maybe that second part isn't unusual)
- Ask the technical writer (oh, wait, that one is covered)
- Ask the Internationalization/Writing-for-translation expert
- Ask the compulsive researcher
- Ask the childhood abuse survivor (DDNOS, recovered)
- Ask the Pagan UniFriend (Quaker/UU/Pagan)
- Ask the middle-eastern/beledi/belly-dancer (already covered elsewhere, too)
- Ask the aspiring children's book author (and other genre's)
- Ask the woman who is still friends with nearly all her ex-boyfriends and her ex-fiance', for real (three were in our wedding party, including the ex-fiance')

I actually have considered starting a thread on the first one, but I wouldn't have time to maintain it, as I don't get here every day. It does get kicked around as a topic now and then, though...

And, because I usually forget, let me just include my sig, which attaches me by association to one of the greatest of all 'Ask the' threads...

[hedra]

SIG (forgot that you have to check it again on preview... )

Sigh.

[Buck The Diver]

Ask the SCUBA instructor
Ask the EMT
Ask the former cruise ship employee

[pravnik]

Ask the heavily tattooed guy

That's pretty much it. Nothing else makes me terribly distinctive, although I would like to do

Ask somebody else, I'm busy

[Zebra]

Originally posted by auntie em
Ask the:

Director of Information Services and Planning (which means jack, basically, but it sounds good, no?)



Well if you were the Director of Information Retrival...



as for me

Ask the

the exhibitor service rep
the guy who wants to boink your sister
the guy who never finished college
the guy who snores a lot about how his sleep study is going
the guy who is tired
the former Okie

[Hambone]

Ask the merchant mariner.

Ask the guy who can't hold an intelligent conversation.

[Ethilrist]

Ask the Diabetic
Ask the SCA member
Ask the Recorder player
Ask the ex-Tuba player
Ask the expatriot Californian living in the Twin Cities
Ask the guy who's studied lots of different martial arts, but not very much of them, except for Shotokan, which he hasn't studied for a while so it kinda doesn't count any more.

[Ol'Gaffer]

Ask the Archaeologist.
Ask the (ex) Phonologist.
Ask the guy who flunked out of college and still made it into grad school.

[ResIpsaLoquitor]

Ask the in-line Roman Catholic
Ask the law student
Ask the comic book reader
Ask the Star Wars nut

...wait, how DID you flunk college and still make grad school?

[Ol'Gaffer]

Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor

...wait, how DID you flunk college and still make grad school?

In a nutshell...

Flunked out at 18.
Travelled, worked, partied, and played for the next five years.
Started over at community college.
Eventually transferred and graduated from ol' state university (some nine years after originally flunking out).
Applied to a bunch of programs and got in to about half.

[Largo62]

Ask the fat guy
Ask the old guy
Ask the fat old guy
Ask the fat old guy with diabetes
Ask the fat old guy with diabetes and high blood pressure
Ask the fat old guy with diabetes, high blood pressure and...Aaaaargh! ::falls to the floor::

[HelloKitty]

OK, I'll play:

* Ask the former telemarketing manager
* Ask the survivor of 12 years of Catholic school
* Ask the woman that does not want children - EVER
* Ask the sports-addicted chick who never gets her sports opinions taken seriously by guys

[Maastricht]

Welll...

The nice but boring ones would be:

Ask the psychologist
Ask the girl who worked as field-botanist
Ask the civil servant

....TTT and I could fight over who best represents the Dutch point of view.....at least until Coldfire comes back to dwarf us with his dazzling eloquence

The slightly embarassing, and kinda childish but more interesting ones would be:

Ask the girl who had liposuction (and find out if its for you!)
Ask the girl who tried psychedelics (and who can say more about it then "well it was, you know, kinda cool")

[Winnie]

Ask the blonde with big breasts

Ask the fledgling guitarist/ex-flutist

Ask the Direct Marketing Specialist

Ask the Bulldog Owner

Ask the girl who knows tons of useless trivia

[Crowbar of Irony +3]

Ask the guy who watched Fellowship of the Rings eight times

Ask the guy who have forgotten how many times he had watched the Two Towers (defintely more than eight, probably more than 10, but I can't be sure).

Ask the guy who have to convince non-geek friends to play role-playing games.

[Manatee]

Ask the medievalist.

Ask the Disney nut.

Ask the college English teacher.

[SouthernStyle]

Originally posted by Winnie
Ask the blonde with big breasts


nahhh.... better not. :D



Ask the Natural Insemination Team Captain! :dubious:


SS

[Tapioca Dextrin]

It coould have been ask the guy who
spends too much money on his bicycle
collects corkscrews
lives with two gay guys (but is straight)
thinks he knows something about wine


but then someone here asked me are you the guy who works on an oil rig? I'm nearly onto my second page <insert smug smiley>

[Labor]

*Ask the heterosexual married white guy who works for the government.
*Ask the former band director.
*Ask the tuba player.
*Ask the guy who likes really cold weather.

[Kyla]

Ask the person who lived in Israel.
Ask the person who lived in Israel during a US attack on Iraq (yeah, we were a little nervous).
Ask the Californian who voluntarily up and moved to Michigan.
Ask the ... not very interesting person. Dammit!

[light strand]

- Ask the Microbiologist
- Ask the Dog Trainer
- Ask the wife of a Marine Corps Reservist who was activated six weeks ago.

[Greenback]

-ask the hockey fanatic

-ask the hockey goaltender expert

-ask the guy who hates hot weather

-ask the Danger Mouse and Looney Toon cartoon junkie (those were great)

-ask the software developer

-ask the guy with the most beautiful wife and son in the world

-ask the guy that is so caught up with learning new things that he doesn't have time to put knowledge into practice.

[lightingtool]

-Ask the theatre (theater) guy.

-Ask the guy who can't seem to live in one state for longer than 8 months.

-Ask the guy who knows random, boring facts about unimportant things.

[brianmelendez]

Ask the parliamentarian
Ask the theologian
Ask the lawyer
Ask the grammar nut
Ask the association president
Ask the Latinist

[racer72]

Ask the:

Functional test technician that is employed by a large US commercial aircraft manufacturer.

Former stock car driver.

Collector of auto racing memorbilia. (had to do something when I quit driving.)

Collector of skunks, Crayola crayons, and empty AOL CD cases.

Maker of the worlds best hamburger and sausage gravies.

[Boyo Jim]

Ask the:
former live radio drama director
Madison, Wisconsin resident
returning to college after dropping out 20 years ago guy
WWII aircraft buff
guy who's completely lost touch with popular culture since 1980
guy who can make a whole room full of people laugh but couldn;t write a joke if his life depended on it
Steely Dan fan
lonely guy
general knowledge specialist
bullshit artist
guy who has little technical training but can get just about anything working
office productivity software expert operator
the guy who admits to more flaws anf mistakes than he needs to
guy whose diet consists mainly of peanut butter
guy who hasn't used a stove or oven for at least 10 years

[lel]

* Ask the person who was just about to start a thread about what people's areas of "ask the ___" expertise where but was beaten to the punch by brainfizz.

* Ask the person who's never been to Australia but loves vegemite.

* Ask the person who learned to speak a foreign language just by taking classes.

[Looking Land]

Ask the Jack the Ripper freak.

Ask the Toilets in History freak.

Ask the Bizarre 19th Century Sexual Sciences freak.

...Hmmm, this thread is making me look fetishy. I think I'll move on....

:)

[TheCheshireCat]

fun!

*Ask the mother of 3
*Ask the legal secretary (to the lawyers here ... grrr)
*Ask the mother of 3, legal secretary in her mid-thirties who wants to go back to college. :)
*Ask the Traditional Roman Catholic
*Ask the person who really wants to learn Latin
*Ask the person who enjoys gardening
*Ask the person who enjoys music

[Muffin]

Ask the telemark skier.
Ask the paddler.

[hardygrrl]

Ask The
Fraud Analyst
Wrestling Expert
Former Online Columnist
Punk Rock Girly Girl
Sometimes snarky bitch

[Muffin]

Originally posted by racer72
Collector of skunks . . .

Maker of the worlds best hamburger and sausage gravies.

Interesting secret ingredient. ;)

[Shana]

Ask the interior designer.
Ask the former New Waver.
Ask the wannabe criminologist/ serial killer expert.
Ask the woman with 3 cats and two dogs how to get pet hair off furniture. (it's not easy!!)
Ask the Jane Austin freak.
Ask the amateur psychologist.

[phouka]

Ask the middle school teacher
Ask the former bass clarinetist
Ask the Barbara Hambly fan

[Maxxxie]

Hmm...

Ask the lesbian
Ask the computer network geek
Ask the self-employed nerd
Ask the volleyball nut
Ask the uni dropout


That'll do for now ;)

Max.

[Angel of the Lord]

Ask the gamer who's marrying her (former) ST.
Ask the Animorphs fan.
Ask the AP/National Merit chick.
Ask the Buffy fan.
Ask the Wiccan at a conservative Lutheran university.

[Shadez]

Ask the idiot rooming with 2 other idiots (not you, AotL, the other two!
Ask the BPD sufferer
Ask the inspring but not getting far writer
Ask the MUDs addict (www.mudconnector.com)

[scr4]

Ask the Japanese guy
Ask the recumbent bike rider
Ask the astronomer

I guess that's about it... There are better astronomers on this board though (or astronomers who are better at explaining things, which is all I know about them) so I wouldn't dream of doing it myself.

[JavaMaven1]

I already had mine early on: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28711


Wow. Was that really almost three years ago?

[Mr Jim]

Ask The
canuck (yeah I'm sure I'm the only one (; )
high school dropout
girl who grew up in a house with a crazy mother, a drug dealer and 10 cats
the worlds biggest Friends fan
cashier

[monstro]

Ask the Salt Marsh Ecologist

[LifeOnWry]

Ask the bookie's daughter
Ask the stalking victim
Ask the polymer clay artist
Ask the editorial writer
Ask the public school reform activist
Ask the attention deficit disorder chick (but be tolerant if she forgets to answer)
Ask the reformed nailbiter
Ask the Saturn driver
Ask the desktop publishing lady
Ask the jobhopper
Ask the amateur photographer
Ask the severely nearsighted person
Ask the Tarot card reader
Ask the compulsive sorter
Ask the bad 70s pop music fan
Ask the EBay seller
Ask the smoker
Ask the anti-gun extremist
Ask the Mastiff owner (or the cat lady, or the rat lady)
Ask the flatchested woman
Ask the fag hag
Ask the Yankee Candle addict
Ask the soapmaker
Ask the waitress
Ask the Mommy

[MyFootsZZZ]

Ask the loser

[Lodrain]

Ask the just-out-of-the-closet bisexual!

Ask the redhead!

Ask the depressed guy!

Ask the aspiring graphic novelist!

Ask the green socialist libertarian!

Ask me! Anything!

[Lodrain]

Originally posted by Angel of the Lord
Ask the Animorphs fan.

Them's was good readin'. Are they still being written, or is the series over?

[jjimm]

Ask the Englishman in Ireland.

[Witch]

Ask the Former Manager of Several Really Good Tribute Bands

[moi]

I was actually thinking about this over dinner and then, viola!, a thread in which to share my thoughts:

Ask the...
married bisexual
editor
modern and contemporary art enthusiast!
art museum employee
young feminist
Subaru driver
graduate student
sister of an FAE/FAS kid
child of divorce (mom's been married 4 times and counting)
chick with multicolored hair
Web comics fan


Hmmm. There might be more to come, but that's a start. :)

[njufoic]

Wow, a thread that allows me to make claims of knowledgeability without actually having to answer any questions! What could be better than that? :) Without further ado...

Ask the hubcap dealer
Ask the unexplained-phenomena buff
Ask the automotive triviamonger
Ask the computer science major
Ask the rabid Dave Barry fan
Ask the guy with embarrassing musical taste

-Andrew L

[hocow]

Ask the fag-hag
Ask the neurotic golden girls fan
Ask the Jimmy Fallon worshipper

[Fionn]

Ask the former psych major

Ask the retail clerk

Ask the newly minted grad student (this thread would have to wait until August)

Ask the formerly suburban middle-class white chick ('cause we're such an exotic and mysterious bunch)

Ask the agnostic (The likely answer: I haven't decided.)

Ask the compulsive reader

Ask the near-sighted girl (big letters, for preference)

Ask the Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit enthusiast

[Zoe]

1. Ask the woman who dined privately with the former palace chef for the Hapsburgs in Vienna.

2. Ask the woman who collects Davids.

3. Ask the woman who celebrated her Twenty-Fifth Wedding Anniversary with her ex-husband, her current husband and the ex-husband's wife.

4. Ask the high school teacher whose former principal branded her a "troublemaker" in sworn testimony before the local media.

5. Ask the woman who was robbed at gunpoint but made the thief give her back her favorite handbag.

[TheOtherOne]

Ask the Paintball player/Paintball gun expert
Ask the drummer
Ask the broke guy
Ask the drunk guy
Ask the guy with no fashion taste
Ask the guy with nothing to post about
Ask the lazy guy
Ask the guy who follows Phish around the country

Nothing new really, just felt like tossing in my change :)

[indyz]

Ask the skydiver (so many misconceptions about the sport)
Ask the geocacher (http://www.geocaching.com)

Wow, I'm boring.

[Maastricht]

originally posted by Zoe Ask the woman who was robbed at gunpoint but made the thief give her back her favorite handbag. :: pricks up ears :: Zoe tell me! Thieves are not the obliging kind, no?

If you like, I'll exchange your story for my own: how I averted a robbery of my and three friends in Hyde Park, London, after dark, by simply not noticing I was being threatened. I actually was so busy telling a story to my three friends that I bumped into one of the people that were walking a yard behind us, and apologized. They were so flabbergasted they fell back a few yards. A minute or so later, a policecar came around the corner and drove up to the edge of the park, and the robbers fled.
I asked my friends then why they were so quiet and pale and what had happened to those people who were just overtaking us on our slow stroll. My boyfriend wiped the sweat of his brow and said: "you mean you did not see those knives?"

[mooka]

Originally posted by brainfizz
I could put :

Ask the Old Skool Raver

So, what common, unusual or just plain bizarre field of knowledge/experience do you have?

We should team up - i could be Ask the (current) UK clubber, between us we'd probably cover most of the history of dance music and club/rave culture, well in the UK anyway!

[phraser]

Ask the:

Veterinary Student
Public Health Veterinarian
Itinerant Farm Worker
Trannyboi
Dykes On Bikes member
Australian (or Queenslander, if you must be specific)
Student Activist
Baritone Saxophonist
Umberto Eco nut
StraightEdger

I could go on for hours! My life is strange... ;)

[Aslan of Narnia]

Ask the male teenager(already started)
Ask the guy who'll reply in rhyme
Ask the comic guy(somebody already beat me to it)

[SouthernStyle]

Ask the American that was an illegal alien in Red China! :eek:

[lovelyluka]

Ask the piano teacher
Ask the college band director's daughter (yes, it was miserable, thank you)
Ask the staff member of a liberal student-run university newsletter
Ask the Presbyterian living in the Bible Belt
Ask the beneficiary who has to fight her family for her father's estate
Ask the medical researcher in molecular biology and genetics....well, in about ten years

Oh yes, and finally,

Ask the person who has no willpower and will read the boards to put off studying for the Anatomy and Physiology exam she has in two hours


Thank you very much.

[swannguy]

Ask the gay guy (been done before)
Ask the Dutch guy (Competition from ColdFire and TTT)
Ask the gay Dutch guy (Unique?)
Ask the guy who never has done drugs
Ask the Dutch guy who has never done drugs
Ask the gay guy who has never done drugs (Yes - he does exist!!)
Ask the Dutch gay guy who has never done drugs
Ask the Dutch guy living in DC

[Nichol_storm]

Ask the Melungeon

I've toyed with doing this one, but wasn't sure there'd be enough interest to warrant it.

Ask the amateur expert on the genealogies of medieval and royal nobility of Europe (with some crossover into the Mongol Hordes, Safavid Persia, the Mamluke Sultanate, the Ottoman Empire, and misc. other non-European dynasties)

Too specialized to be of use to the vast majority of people. I mean, how many folks really want to know that the maternal grandmother of Shah Ismail I of Persia was a Trapezunt princess, and that this connection makes him a fourteenth cousin once removed of his contemporary King Henry VIII of England? Besides me, that is?

.:Nichol:.

[Winnie]

Originally posted by Nichol_storm
Ask the Melungeon

No kidding? I'm fascinated by this... I've been highly intrigued by the Melungeons since I read about them in Bill Bryson's The Lost Continent.

Where are you from? VA/TN/KY/WV?

I think you should post an Ask The Melungeon thread... I'd probably be one of your most active posters! I've got tons of questions I'd love to ask...

[mooka]

@Nichol_storm

I'd be very interested in the Melungeon thing. I'd have a general interest in the nobility thing too. I never knew that the Shah of Persia was distantly related to King Henry 8th! Is this kind of thing common? I know european royalty is quite closely connected, but i did think it went outside europe..

[TwungTister]

[someone else I'd like to hear from]
Ask the Prostitute

[can speak for myself]
Ask the former Catholic.
Ask the medical transcriptionist {well, completed a course for it}
Ask the Communication Assistant {relay operator}
Ask the crossword specialist.
um, you can't count wannabes, can you?
[wannabes]
wouldbe jigsaw assembler.
wouldbe hacky-sacker.

[Nichol_storm]

Originally posted by Winnie
No kidding? I'm fascinated by this... I've been highly intrigued by the Melungeons since I read about them in Bill Bryson's The Lost Continent.

Where are you from? VA/TN/KY/WV?

I think you should post an Ask The Melungeon thread... I'd probably be one of your most active posters! I've got tons of questions I'd love to ask...

Hmmm.... I'll consider it. Maybe over Easter, when I have a couple of days off from school and enough time to give the topic the attention it deserves.

I'm from Mississippi, but my Melungeon ancestors hailed from Tennessee.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by mooka
I'd be very interested in the Melungeon thing. I'd have a general interest in the nobility thing too. I never knew that the Shah of Persia was distantly related to King Henry 8th! Is this kind of thing common? I know european royalty is quite closely connected, but i did think it went outside europe..

Another vote for the Melungeons! I had no idea they were so popular.

The genealogies are fascinating -- you'd be surprised who crops up. Genghis Khan has several descents into European royalty, there's a possible line from the Prophet Muhammad, etc. Most of the non-European connections come through the Byzantine Empire (whose daughters married not only European kings, but also Muslim sultans). Shah Ismail and Henry VIII were related as follows:

Emperor Alexios I Komnenos of Byzantium m. Eirene Dukaina
Isaakios Komnenos, sebastocrator m. unknown
Emperor Andronikos I m. unknown
Manuel Komnenos, sebastocrator m. unnamed princess of Alania
Emperor Alexios I of Trebizond m. Theodora Azuchina
Emperor Manuel I of Trebizond m. Eirene Syrikaina
Emperor Ioannes II of Trebizond m. Eudokia Palaiologina
Emperor Alexios II of Trebizond m. Djiadjak of Samatzhke
Emperor Basileios of Trebizond m. Eirene
Emperor Alexios III of Trebizond m. Theodora Kantakuzene
Emperor Manuel III of Trebizond m. unknown
Emperor Alexios IV of Trebizond m. Theodora Kantakuzene
Emperor Ioannes IV of Trebizond m. unknown Turkish lady
Theodora Komnena m. Uzun Hasan, Khan of the Aq-Qoyunliu
Halima Begum m. Sultan Haydar Safavi
Ismail I, Shah of Persia, founder of the Safavids.

As for his cousin Harry, that connection goes like this:

Emperor Alexios I Komnenos of Byzantium m. Eirene Dukaina
Theodora Komnena m. Konstantinos Angelos
Andronikos Angelos Doukas m. Euphrosyne Kastamonitissa
Emperor Isaakios II of Byzantium m. unknown
Eirene Angelina m. Philipp, Duke of Swabia
Marie of Swabia m. Heinrich II, Duke of Brabant
Maud of Brabant m. Robert I, Comte de Artois
Blanche de Artois m. Enrique I, King of Navarre
Queen Juana of Navarre m. King Philippe IV de France
Isabella de France m. King Edward II of England
King Edward III of England m. Philippa of Hainault
John of Gaunt, Duke of Lancaster m. Katherine Roet
John Beaufort, 1st Earl of Somerset m. Margaret Holand
John Beaufort, 2nd Earl of Somerset m. Margaret Beauchamp
Margaret Beaufort m. Edmund Tudor, Earl of Richmond
King Henry VII of England m. Elizabeth of York
King Henry VIII of England, he of the six wives.

There's also a line from Shah Ismail down to the Moghul Emperors of India, who were also descended from Genghis Khan and Tamerlane (Timur-i-lang). There were lots of European connections to the early Ottoman Sultans as well, who often had Byzantine and Trapezunt princesses in their harems, along with Greek and Italian noblewomen.

.:Nichol:.

[Vevila]

ask the person who works in the porn industry. :eek:

No, really - I work for a company that manages adult bookstores all over the country, and I deal with the merchandise aspect. So maybe the better "ask the ___ " would be:

ask the person who deals with lots of adult toys.

:D

[Sunglasses]

Ask the:

Adopted woman who has no desire to meet her birth mother.

Single mom who's putting two sons through college.

Woman who moved in with her fiance after living with only her sons for the last 13 years.

Woman who makes her bed every morning or she just can't think straight.

Forensics show addict.
.

[Leifsmama]

Originally posted by Zoe
1. Ask the woman who dined privately with the former palace chef for the Hapsburgs in Vienna.

2. Ask the woman who collects Davids.

3. Ask the woman who celebrated her Twenty-Fifth Wedding Anniversary with her ex-husband, her current husband and the ex-husband's wife.

4. Ask the high school teacher whose former principal branded her a "troublemaker" in sworn testimony before the local media.

5. Ask the woman who was robbed at gunpoint but made the thief give her back her favorite handbag.

I'd love to hear the stories behind 1, 4, and 5! Please.

[«Ðëëp¤F®ïêd»™]

* Ask the guy with 30 tickets and 10 accidents.

and a couple I have thought about but hesitate to undertake:

* Ask the dangerously Bi-polar guy.
* Ask the self-mutilator.

[SouthernStyle]

Originally posted by Vevila
ask the person who works in the porn industry. :eek:

No, really - I work for a company that manages adult bookstores all over the country, and I deal with the merchandise aspect. So maybe the better "ask the ___ " would be:

ask the person who deals with lots of adult toys.

:D

Oh goodie, I've got lots of questions! ;)

*) There has to be all sorts of fringe benefits that go along with working in porn. At the very least you save a fortune in clothes. Can you give us some more?
*) Have you met lots of famous people? (Silly me -- like you'd remember their FACE!)
*) "Lots of adult toys". Is this like product testing? Do you test them all at once or one at a time? Who buys all the stinkin' batteries?????
*) What, exactly, is the "chicken position"?

SS

[Vevila]

Heh. I guess I better clarify my adult industy stuff.

I work in an office, from 8-5 Monday through Friday, maintaining a database chock full of adult toys and magazines that get sent to the stores the company I work for owns. No nudity around here.

Famous people? Lessee, the only one I remember meeting (in reference to the porn industry) is Nina Hartley, who was doing an in-store appearance signing autographs.

Nope, no actual product testing. I look at the item, and determine what exactly the item is - is it a hard vibe, a soft vibe, a pump, a doll...I assign each item a specific category/subcategory for the database.

Batteries are actually supplied free from each store when you purchase a battery-operated item. Of course, these are really *cheap* batteries, so you'll want to pick up a set of duracells before really trying your new battery-operated pal out. The store provides the batteries to make certain the item works (open the package, insert batteries, turn item on.) We do this because we absolutley will not take any returns on merchandise. Ewwwwwwwwwww. :eek:

Haven't got a clue on the chicken position, and I'm just not gonna Google it. ;)

Oh, before I got my job in the main office, I worked in one of the stores for a little over a year...

So I guess another one might be ask the former porn store clerk/manager.

[MaryEFoo]

Ask the California farm kid*

Ask the daughter of a mining engineer

Ask the print freak


*sample question: How do you keep the sea lions from hauling out into the fields and mashing the artichoke plants down?

[Duke]

Feh, I almost did one of these a while back: "Ask the American-born cricketer." I reckon there may only be a couple hundred of us around.

Other possibilities:

Ask the (now former) Oxford D.Phil student!
Ask the guy who got hit by a bus!
Ask the (former) 13-year-old college student!
Ask the university fundraising researcher!
Ask the hopelessly disorganized guy!

[Shirley Ujest]

*sample question: How do you keep the sea lions from hauling out into the fields and mashing the artichoke plants down?

Alright, I'll bite, How do you keep sea lions from mashing down artichoke plants? sounds like a set up for a joke Does it involve a Rabbi, Priest and a duck?

[flickerwolf]

*Ask the chick who knows way too much about werewolves
*Ask the Jhonen Vasquez fangirl(Oh, the posts runneth over...):rolleyes:
*Ask the budding photographer
*Ask the master (mistress?) of strange facial expressions:dubious::eek:
...yup.

[flickerwolf]

*Ask the chick who knows way too much about werewolves
*Ask the Jhonen Vasquez fangirl(Oh, the posts runneth over...):rolleyes:
*Ask the budding photographer
*Ask the master (mistress?) of strange facial expressions:dubious::eek:
...yup.

[Ranchoth]

•Ask The Atheist
•Ask The Political Moderate ('Hate liberals. 'Hate Conservatives.)
•Ask The Amateur Flight Sim Scenery Designer
•Ask The (Medication Controlled, :twitch-twitch:) Obsessive-Compulsive
•Ask The Grandson of a B-29 pilot
•Ask The Unusual and Arcane Information Collector
•Ask The Custom Action Figure Builder
•Ask The Holiday Season Cashier (:twitch-twitch:)
•Ask the Guy who was in a "Nut house" for 72 hours (:Twitch-twitch-twitch:)
•Ask The 'Shipper Sympathizer
•Ask The Megalomaniac with an Inferiority Complex
•Ask The Borderline Asexual
•Ask the Draconian Punishment Advocate

[Ranchoth]

•Ask the guy who accidentally put smilies in his last post. :smack:

[Daerlyn]

Ask the graveyard shift Tech Support Agent.

Uhhm . . . I think that's it.

[Flutterby]

Ask the Tim Horton's Worker

[GUINNESS]

ask the..Rudeboy
ask the..UPSguy
ask the..lazyguy
ask the..grillmaster
ask the..frustated Boston Terrier owner
ask the..:p

[MaryEFoo]

Separate sea lions and artichokes--an 80' cliff will do it (Sorry, Shirley, no joke).

But I'd like to know some way to keep the #%&!*#!! deer out of the artichokes, and the peas, and the lettuce, and...

[NurseCarmen]

Wow, I actually want to ask a bunch of question of all of you. I guess that's another thread.

Ask the Macintosh Geek for a large Ad Agency
Ask the father of a soon-to-be-three year old
Ask the bass player
Ask the Copywriter for a fledgling ad agency
Ask the sailor (of sailboats)
Ask the camper
Ask the person who isnot a Nurse
Ask the person who is not a Carmen
Ask the fraternal twin
Ask the doctor's son
Ask the handyman around the house
Ask the shade tree mechanic


what the hell is a Melungeon?

[jsc1953]

Ask the umpire
Ask the card-counter
Ask the systems analyst
Ask the Californian
Ask the Tolkien Geek (one of many here...)

[SciFiSam]

Ask the British Lesbian Single Mum (with a Chinese Girlfriend).

Or just 'Ask the Gay Parent,' but that's way too boring.

[Nvme77]

Ask the mother of twins
Ask the Account Receivables manager (coughcollectionscough)
Ask the breast implants woman
Ask the mother of an autistic child
Ask the former meth addict
Ask the Barbie doll fanatic

[slice]

Ask the children's choir director
Ask the Redskins intern
Ask the rottweiler owner
Ask the girl that is notoriously bad at picking out paint colors

[iamthewalrus(:3=]

This is a hijack, but I wanted to let brainfizz know that he should do the Ask the Pro Tour Magic Player thread. I know I'd enjoy it, and I know there are plenty of other Magic players on these boards.

[gruntz#1]

Ask the Cable Guy
Ask the Military Guy
Ask the computer game nerd
Ask the professional goofball
Ask the Dad

[SkeptiJess]

Hmmm... I could do:

Ask the mother of an orthopedically disabled child.

-or-

Ask the housewife.

-or-

Ask the amateur etiquette maven.

That's all I got.

[brainfizz]

Originally posted by iamthewalrus(:3=
This is a hijack, but I wanted to let brainfizz know that he should do the Ask the Pro Tour Magic Player thread. I know I'd enjoy it, and I know there are plenty of other Magic players on these boards.

Heheh! Will do then, as soon as I get my internet set up at home... not on often enough to answer questions atm!

[Gazelle]

Ask the...


Military brat
American who grew up in Germany
Runner
Dog Owner
Childless by Choice

[Winnie]

Originally posted by slice
Ask the Redskins intern
Ask the jealous lifelong Skins fan!!!

[Ludovic]

Ask the nerd who does NOT like Star Trek
Ask the programmer
Ask the Pink Floyd fan
Ask the bad poet
Ask the bad indie musician/producer/writer.
Ask the Gargoyles fan.

[Ludovic]

Ask the 29-year-old guy who's never had a steady GF.

[Shirley Ujest]

what the hell is a Melungeon?

I second this.

We, the uninformed, wish to illuminated.

[Marvel]

I'll try posting this again...

1. Ask the 80s Music Chick
2. Ask the Kate Bush Fan
3. Ask the Purple Fanatic (got married in a purple dress)
4. Ask the Sick Chick (I'm home with the flu)
5. Ask the Aunt (I've got seven nephews - one more and I'll have a basketball team [I think])

Patty

[Shirley Ujest]

Nurse Carmen is a man? Shit. There goes my image of her sitting in front of a computer with a nurses uniform on, showing lots of leg and bosom. :)

[Shodan]

Ask the judo black belt.

Ask the adoptive father.

Ask the non-fundamentalist Christian.

Ask the guy who wears a tie to work by choice.

Ask the conservative.

Regards,
Shodan

[green_dragon]

Ask the martial artist
Ask the dancing instructor
Ask the new age healer
Ask the lazy university student
Ask the relationship-disaster guy

[Davebear]

Ask the* guy who showed up way too late
* second amateur (semi-pro, actually) herpetologist
* third tuba player! (former)
* third programmer
* trumpet, flugel, alto, baritone player
* beginning harmonica player
* ferret owner
* collector of art glass, snuff bottles, trumpets, and Mata Ortiz pottery
* guy who just doesn't give rat's rump
* anti-spin

[non-native]

- Ask the Korean guy
- Ask the guy with a 3rd degree black belt in taekwondo
- Ask the guy living in Guatemala
- Ask the nonreligious guy (people give me crap if I say agnostic so...)
- Ask the guy who has never lived one country for over 3 years consecutively
- Ask the burnout
- Ask the guy who couldn't get a good haircut to save his life
- Ask the smoker who doesn't feel the need to quit
- Ask the lactose intolerant guy
- Ask the resident asshole

[yosemite]

This wording works for me:

Ask me about Yosemite National Park. (People do. I have a Yosemite web site.)
Ask me about drawing and painting, especially portraits.
Ask me about glazing pottery in earthenware, using commercial glazes.
Ask me about film composers, like Jerry Goldsmith.

[yosemite]

That should be, "Ask me about glazing earthenware pottery, (with commercial glazes)."

I don't mix my own glazes. (Yuck.)

[AHunter3]

•_Ask the psychiatric inmates' liberation front representative
• Ask the male Feminist Studies student
• Ask the FileMaker Pro database geek
• Ask the heterosexual sissy guy

and of course:

• Ask the SDMB board addict :)

[Nichol_storm]

Originally posted by NurseCarmen
what the hell is a Melungeon?[/qoute]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Shirley Ujest
I second this.

We, the uninformed, wish to [be] illuminated.

Wait 'till Easter, and all will be revealed!

.:Nichol:.

[kung fu lola]

Ask the....


Rabid Madonna Fan
Non-evil redheaded academically inclined lesbian witch It's all true, I swear
Contemporary dancer/choreographer

~kfl,
On pins and needles waiting for the new Madonna CD, out April 22

[jsc1953]

Forgot one....Ask the former altar boy

[Shirley Ujest]

Since no one will ever ask

Ask the...

Former Travel Agent
Former Video Store Clerk
Movie fan
Mom of two kids
Psuedo Farmer
semi-comedian
romance writer
lackidaisical housekeeper & cook
SDMB addict
Mom who volunteered to make 19 scrapbooks for her son's preschool class and I'm into scrapbooking, yet strangely, I'm not panicking either.
How to pack your luggage.
Frank Sinatra & Big Band Sound
Classical music lover who couldn't tell you poop about what it is or what it all means but it sure sounds purty.
Woman who can drive a stick shift and a farm tractor. Some times at the same time.
Who writes the funniest Xmas brag letter you will ever receive.

and my greatest contribution to society:
ThreadKiller.

[Nuke]

Ask the nuclear engineer
Ask the guy who married a Peruvian
Ask the soon-to-be father of triplets
Ask the guy who drives a Camaro :D

[MissTake]

Ask the... adoptee
Ask the... single mom of one very stubborn little girl
Ask the... college drop out
Ask the... tattoo fanatic
Ask the... chick who gets along wonderfully with her ex
Ask the... flautist
Ask the... former headbanger
Ask the... pointless trivia person
Ask the... gubbermint worker
Ask the... jigsaw puzzle master
Ask the... needlepoint person
Ask the... part time vegan
Ask the... woman with polycystic kidney disease
Ask the... person who has never lived more than 40 miles away from where she grew up
Ask the... chick who worked at an "adult entertainment" store

[kalex]

Ask me about...

being a DJ
being a traffic reporter
living in Key West in the 80s
working on the same novel for 10 years (actually, don't ask about that.)
living in DC now
being on 8 kinds of allergy meds
mixing a great martini

[5 time champ]

Ask the:
* 5 time undefeated Jeopardy! champion with winnings fo $50,703 and a 2002 Chevy Tahoe
* public notary
* guy who went to Catholic schools for 12 years, and now doesn't believe any of that nonsense
* guy who works for a cool not-for-profit organization
* the guy who spends way too much time on the SDMB
* the guy who has never been Pitted, yet. Well actually nobody pays much attention to his posts, so maybe he should become a troll so someone might recognize him
* 5 time undefeated Jeopardy! champion who crashed and burned in the Tournament of Champions

[Satisfying Andy Licious]

Ask Bobby Dylan
Ask the Beatles
Ask Timothy Leary
Couldn't help me either.
Well, it had to be said.

Maybe it should be:
[list]
Ask The Guy Who Turns Everything Into A Joke To Cover The Existential Pain of Living In A Harsh And Godless Universe With A Headcold.[/bold]

[Satisfying Andy Licious]

While we're at it, ask the guy who didn't preview his post.
Sigh.

[Davebear]

Originally posted by kung fu lola
Rabid Madonna Fan :eek:
Non-evil redheaded academically inclined lesbian witch It's all true, I swear
Contemporary dancer/choreographer I'd make a joke, but she'd probably kick my ass, turn me into a newt, stomp on me, then dance on my grave. ;)

[Shirley Ujest]

Originally posted by Davebear
:eek:
I'd make a joke, but she'd probably kick my ass, turn me into a newt, stomp on me, then dance on my grave. ;)

Whilst eating pie.


:D

[kung fu lola]

Davebear and Shirley, you are both adorable nuts.

And what's so :eek: about being a Madonna fan? Huh? HUH?!?

fingertips crackling with blue lightning, eyes turning black

[DoctorJ]

Ask the Intern (which I've done. A couple of years ago I did Ask the Medical Student. I guess in a few months I have to do Ask the Upper-Level Resident.)
Ask the Magician (he won't tell you anything, but you can ask :) )
Ask the Phish Enthusiast

Probably more, but those are the most unique.
Dr. J

[kree]

Ask the non-expert willing to opine on any subject.
Except politics (yawn)

[Qcoatl]

* Ask the woman who has seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show
287 times and played everyone in the cast, except Rocky.

* Ask the woman who prefers Miller Lite to any other beverage.

*Ask the Buffy the Vampire Slayer freak

*Ask the woman who has been registered with a talent agency
for 3 years and only gotten 3 jobs.

*Ask the woman who is obsessed with Halloween





"Tree Good, Fire Bad"

[Happy Scrappy Hero Pup]

"Ask the Doorman at the Bar That Almost Exclusively Served Underaged Kids."

"Ask the Coxswain."

"Ask the Guy That Lost 45 Pounds in 27 Days."

"Ask the Hitchhiker"

"Ask the Hard-partying New Orleans Resident."

I will actually do these if someone asks.

[hocow]

Originally posted by Happy Scrappy Hero Pup


"Ask the Guy That Lost 45 Pounds in 27 Days."


That's awesome, Happy! I'd like to see this thread as it took me 5 months to lose 45 lbs.

[Happy Scrappy Hero Pup]

No, it's not awesome. I went from 160 to 115 in less than a month to race in a regatta, and I did it by starving myself. But I will post if asked more.

[Ghanima]

* Ask the girl who is a man!

No, really. I get this all the time. My friends really do call me "XXY." I have a motorcycle license. I have worked as a mechanic. I have brewed beer. I tend to use linear thought. I am constantly thinking about sex, and turn most conversation topics into raunchy innuendo. I enjoy getting dirty. I like to solve problems, particularly the home-engineering type. I am ridiculously competitive. I am stoic. I have attended bachelor parties as one of the guys. I have attended poker night as one of the guys. I enjoy the occasional cigar. I adore science fiction books and action films. I prefer dogs to cats. I like porn. I can four-wheel. I have had jobs where I wear a hard-hat. I like to see naked women. I can belch better than anyone.

On the other hand, I own over 10 pairs of shoes, countless creams and moisturizers, know lots about herbs and vegetable growing, cry at commercials, get PMS, have long hair, and prefer female vocalists to male. I wear skirts. I love babies. You get the picture.

Two, two, two genders in one!

[JoseB]

OK, let's see...

* Ask the Spaniard living in the Netherlands.
* Ask the Spaniard who lived for 4 years in Tokyo.
* Ask the language and linguistics nut who sort of speaks 11 languages.
* Ask the guy who somehow got himself a scholarship to do his Ph.D. in robotics in Tokyo University and who arrived to Japan without speaking a word of Japanese.

* Ask the guy who performed a prank on one of his teachers at college that almost gave a heart attack to the poor man.

* Ask the "Futurama" fan.

* Ask the divorced guy whose daughter is now living in Moscow with her mom.

* Ask the patent examiner who somehowl manages to avoid insanity, even after seeing patents for talking vibrators .

* Ask the lonesome guy for a date ;)

JoseB

[ForgottenLore]

Ask the:

1. Network geek.
2. Guy who reads every damn thing he can get his hands on.
3. Guy who likes movies everyone else hates.
4. Guy who actually kept the weight off using a home exercise machine.
5. Bach and Mozart fanatic.
6. Guy who subjects his family to his substandard Bach and Mozart piano stylings.

[Annie-Xmas]

Ask the Julian Lloyd Webber expert.

[trupa]

-Ask the French Canadian guy living in Calgary
-Ask the French Canadian guy who married an Indo-Canadian Lady
-Ask the self-proclaimed medical groupy (spelling? masculin version?? )
-Ask the novice skydiver who had to hang up the rig till kid(s) turn 18 ( :( blue skies, indyz !)
-Ask the tall ship / wood navy history nut / Patrick O'Brian fan
-Ask the Robert B. Parker fan
-Ask the fountain pen nut
-Ask the Wireless Voice over IP Product Manager

[Happy Lendervedder]

-Ask the union organizer.

-Ask the Calvinist.

-Ask the guy whose family owns the largest tulip farm in Michigan.

-Ask the former journalist.

-Ask the 6'5" guy.

-Ask the guy who has eaten a $5 Hot 'N' Ready pizza from Little Caesars every day for the past eight days.

-Ask the guy who went to a high school named after Edsel Ford, and whose HS mascot was a Thunderbird

[Quasimodal]

Ask the guitar player
Ask Radio Host
Ask the guy who is currently procrastinating an essay
Ask the guy who can't afford to buy lunch
Ask the Strongbad fanatic
Ask the music teacher
Ask the guy who has a chemical addiction to potato chips

[Really Not All That Bright]

-Ask the frat boy (done this one)
-Ask the (former) pizza guy
-Ask the (fmr.) theme park employee
-Ask the sunglass salesperson (working on this one, I start Friday)
-Ask the guy who moved from England to the US
-Ask the Indian guy (dots, not feathers) although there are much better people to ask
-Ask the (fmr.) six-day-a-week drunk (although I can't imagine what you could possibly want to know)
-ask the pro wrestling geek
-ask the fantasy (American) football geek
-ask the UCF student
-ask the guy who knows a guy who runs "payroll" for the mob
-ask the motel manager
-ask the pharmacy tech
-ask the fencer
-ask the Queensryche fan
-ask the guy who read all of Salman Rushdie's books eight times and asked him about a few of them
-ask the Hyundai driver
-ask the parade floatbuilder
-and finally, ask the guy who knows stuff about Oman, and about mideast politics in general

Jesus. I've accomplished so little...

[GrizzRich]

Originally posted by Winnie
Ask the jealous lifelong Skins fan!!!

Ask ANOTHER jealous lifelong Redskins fan!

[Really Not All That Bright]

I forgot Strongbad! Cee-Gee-En- You!

[Really Not All That Bright]

Originally posted by Shirley Ujest
I second this.

We, the uninformed, wish to illuminated.

I know what they are... but I thought they were all up in the Clinches...?

I should probably let Nichol explain, but essential a Melungeon is a really dark skinned white person. They live (mostly I guess) in backwoods Tennessee.

[sultana of slash]

I think Ghanima wins, for my money.

Ask the: Expert on human disassembly.

[Nichol_storm]

Originally posted by dutchboy208
I should probably let Nichol explain, but essential a Melungeon is a really dark skinned white person. They live (mostly I guess) in backwoods Tennessee.

For those curious about Melungeons, I created an "Ask the Melungeon (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=4173900#post4173900) thread back around Easter.

[Hyenuf]

Ok, I'm in.

Ask the "Born Again Pagan"

[Sunspace]

Ask the...

Canadian (again).
Technical writer (again).
Guy who's taking French.
Guy who speaks Esperanto.
Guy who likes electronica but is too old to go clubbing.
Secular neo-pagan.
Torontonian.
Second-generation Canadian born of English ancestors.
Guy who knows the difference between English and British.
Child of generations of socialist ancestors.
Guy whose sister wanted to be an astronaut, but was told that "there's no need for poets in space".
Guy who's had more success on LavaLife in the past year than he ever did in RealLife during the past ten years.
Cartoon fanatic.
Guy who's written Devilbunny stories.
Guy who likes plump women, but not only plump women.
Sheila Chandra fan.
Kate Bush fan.
Loreena McKennitt fan (you get the idea...)
:)

[Horseflesh]

Ask the two-headed Elvis clone.

Ask the serial gardner.

Ask the cat juggler.

[CakeOrDeath666]

Ask the girl who survived Catholic school
Ask the music lover (don't even play an instrument...)
Ask the future pyrotechnician
Ask the girl who can understand (but not speak) German simply from listening to Rammstein.
Ask the girl who can move her eyes independently
Ask the Terry Pratchett freak

I think that's it :)

[Queen Tonya]

Ask the factory worker single mother of a special needs child who's unintentionally celibate.



And if you do, pretend there are many other interesting aspects of my life that I simply didn't list so as to not be redundant. Yes, let's all pretend that for me together.

[skeptic_ev]

Ask the ...

Mostly happy and upbeat person
Grammar nut
Jehovah’s Witness
Technical writer (fourth one, I think)
QC analyst
Employee of a still-existing Internet startup
Atypical (young) Sjogren’s syndrome sufferer
Lover of books (and magazines … and, when desperate, the backs of cereal boxes)
Newbie Atkins dieter
Producer of yummy baked goods
Maker of The World’s Best Deviled Eggs™ *
Woman who doesn’t know if she wants kids even though she loves 'em
Woman closer to her husband’s family than her own
Woman who married her best friend after knowing him for 14 years
Former journalism student (no degree)
Former CIS student (degree)
Aspiring writer who rarely ever writes anything
Keeper of tropical fish
Amateur (very amateur) furniture refinisher

*Hubris disclaimer: I don’t claim this one for myself; it’s a title given to me by a friend.

[Paranoid Randroid]

Hmmm.

Ask the undergraduate economics and philosophy student - though preferably not about economics or philosophy
Ask the guy who's dating an older women (err, slightly)
Ask the manager of a university computer lab
Ask the former Randian Objectivist/current libertarian
Ask the spineless weasel about how to avoid normal, everyday stuff of which you're irrationally fearful
Ask the human cookie monster (really. I mean it)

[Paranoid Randroid]

I mean to say that I'm dating a slightly older woman, not that I'm dating an older woman slightly, which I should add because said older woman does read these boards.

Ask the guy who annoys his girlfriend by trying too hard to please her

[Godfrey Daniels]

Ask the...

*band member (guitar)
*fly tyer
*fly angler
*amateur aquatic entomologist
*guy who can cook
*Oregonian

[Phoebestar]

Originally posted by Cheese Monster
I mean to say that I'm dating a slightly older woman, not that I'm dating an older woman slightly, which I should add because said older woman does read these boards.

I'm only five years older than you. It's not like I'm ancient. hehe.

[Empress Jolrael]

Ask the Forbidden City tour guide. :D

[ccwaterback]

Ask the Procrastinator. (I even waited until the bottom of the 4th page of this thread to post.)

[Sonyadora]

Ask the Californian! (remember, we can't agree on anything...)

Ask the Ag major.

Ask the Taiko chick.

Ask the Behcet's Syndrome patient.

Ask the "Mistress of Pancake".

Ask the college TA with really, really dense students.

Ask the watcher of strange movies.

Ask the orchid freak.

Ask the girl with a several hundred word Japanese vocabulary who can't in fact speak Japanese.

Ask the Navy brat.

Ask the girl who always knows where everything in the house is and is thus forced to be a living key finder for roommates and family alike.

Ask the chick who should just go to bed right now because it's so damn late.