Funny story about shooting a dog

[DaddyTimesTwo]

Guy I work with and at most friendly with told the funniest story at lunch a while ago. Seems his stupid neighbors from a few years ago had a dog they didn't take care of. Kept it chained up, didn't give it enough food or water, and it barked all the time. So my co-worker started putting water out for the dog, couldn't do foos that's too expensive. He even (he says) salled the animal protection people to no avail. It seems though that the dog wanted more. Enough food, attention, maybe some love, you know, annoyances. Anyway, the dog started getting loose, breaking its rope, and running all over the neighborhood. And still with the barking.

So one day, (garbage day coincideltally, he kept mentioning that), very early, the dog was loose and got into his "herb garden". And always with the barking. So, he get his unregistered pistol (he specifically mentioned that) and sat in the garden waiting for the dog. The dog approached him cause he was "friendly", and my co-worker held out the gun. Being a dog, the animal extended his nose for a sniff.

BANG

Much hilarity ensues. Next door neighbor was about to yell at the dog and saw it all, he about fell out his window it was so damn funny. And the great thing was that it was garbage day. Instant removal!

And the stupid neighbors are still wondering where poor poochie went. Ahh, it's even better in the retelling.

OK, I'm not a dog person. I don't want a dog. Too big too noisy too much damn work with the walking and the playing and the poop-scooping. I will never have a dog. I'm also not a gun person. Guns scare me and I can't imagine the scenario that would get me to buy one.

The callousness and insensitivity displayed by this "person" I work with absolutely leaves me speechless. I was so angry I couldn't say anything. He found that amusing too. He still does. He told the story with such relish that I can't help but wish I had a gun with me at the time because I would have shot him with it.

This fellow has a history that I found out about due to circumstances and I certainly had my doubts before I even spoke to the guy, but now I have no doubt it's all very true.

What he doesn't seem to realize is that there are people at work whgo already don't lik ehim and, if relayed this story, would find a way to have him, well, hurt. People are weird about their dogs, man. But I tell you, I would not miss him.

Fucking insensitive callous selfish ethic-free shitlicker. I really only wish that I had seen it happen cause you certainly would laugh about the story now. After the arrest and the bigstory in the paper and the firearm violation. Righteous indignation just bursts through me sometimes.

And I wonder exactly what was in the "herb garden". Dirt bag motherfucker.

[Arden Ranger]

What a fucking asshole.

If his neighbor saw it, he should have called a cop.

[koeeoaddi]

Sick! Seriously! :(

I had a co-worker brag to me once that her cat had kittens and they died of "lead poisoning." Wonder if they know each other.

[yosemite]

You know, this kind of thing just wants to make me sponge out my brain. Seriously, I wish I'd never read this thread. I am so depressed. (Not that I begrudge you sharing your rage, you had to vent.)

[jackelope]

There's a special depth of hell reserved for a waste of life like this. It's one in which he is starving and cold and lost, and approaches someone hoping for some human contact and maybe a "Hey pal, good to see you," and gets a bullet through his brain instead. Over and over and over.

[Michael Ellis]

I'd have probably punched him, so help me. Shooting a dog like that, rat bastard. :mad: :mad:

[Michael Ellis]

Also, I'd advise calling the police and telling them this story. They might be interested in his 'herb garden' too. Not to mention his neighbors might want to find out.

Call them. Now.

[Cheesesteak]

Michael Ellis, I think the cops might be a bit more interested in the 'unregistered pistol' than the 'herb garden'. I agree that a call should be make, just promise to let us know the outcome!

[Gravity]

Oh, that poor, poor puppy!

I inherited a ferret from a fuckhead like him. My cousin called me up, crying because her husband had gotten sick of the ferret that they had spent their rent money on three months before. A 6 month old ferret that they had made mean and almost feral by not feeding her properly, only giving her water infrequently and only taking her out of her 3' cage to hold her down and poke her until she actually squeeked in frustration, flailing around for something to bite. Now, she wasn't fun anymore, so he was going to tie her to a stump in the woods and shoot her when he got home from work, so could we please, please take her?
It was damn hard work to take a ferret that had been abused for half her life and make her fine again, but we did it. That puppy could have been loved. If one idiot hadn't caused his life to be miserable because of laziness, and another idiot hadn't caused his death from pure selfishness. Jerks. :(

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

Yuck. The world has some assholes in it.

When I first started working at the humane society, we had a local guy who worked ona construction site. There was a stray dog that came around the site sometimes, so one day this fool went over to the dog with a machete, killed it, chopped its head off, and licked the blood from his machete in front of the rest of the crew.

Yay felony animal cruelty convictions.
Daniel

[Siemsi]

One word for that guy: Fucktard.

[DaddyTimesTwo]

What i don't understand is how he acted a little caring in the beginning. He gave the dog water and called animal protection on the neighbors for not caring for the dog. I'm not sure how he made the "logical" leap to "well, I'll just shoot the damn dog."

[Clint in Wichita]

The guy's only mistake was not shooting the dog AND the dog's owner.

I wouldn't shoot a dog, and I don't condone it, but my GOD some of you are pussies!

[tiny ham]

:rolleyes:

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Find out his home address.

Locating the neighbors shouldn't be too hard. You'll have a story to tell them.

[Stephi]

That's incredibly callous and sick. I would call the police too. :(

[Gary Kumquat]

Originally posted by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
Find out his home address.

Locating the neighbors shouldn't be too hard. You'll have a story to tell them.

Now that's a great idea. We could get a whole new punchline to this joke.

[DaddyTimesTwo]

Clint in Wichita, you're a really nice man, I'm sure. I appreciate your comments. Thanks for stopping by.

Now go away.

[Captain Amazing]

That story isn't even as funny as Old Yeller.

[NurseCarmen]

I had a neighbor who had a barking dog. That damn thing drove me to the edge of insanity. I hated that dog. My neighbor was old and lonely, but it was a standard poodle (The most hideous dog on the face of the planet IMHO) and it was just too much dog for him to handle. It shit and pissed all over the inside of his house, but he kept the damn thing because he was so lonely.

I swear if I would have had an RPG on any of those Saturday mornings when that damn dog woke not only me, but my infant son up, it would have been Poodle Bits TM.

One of my neighbors, I still don't know who, called animal control over, and over, and over. Finally my neighbor had to give the dog away. The dog has since visited, it is happy, healthy, clean, trained, and doesn't bark anymore. I guess this was the right way to go about the problem.

But trust me, as this sad old man told me that his one happiness in life was going away, when I saw the tears welling up in his eyes, I all could feel, all I could hear, was that phrase, repeating over and over in my head. "I have to give the dog away". "I have to give the dog away". "I have to give the dog away". Sounds beautiful doesn't it? It's one of the most beautiful phrases I've heard in my life. Inside I was jumping up and down with glee. I had been driven to the point of no human compassion. I hated that hideous beast with every ounce of my being. And I am a dog owner!

I think it's sick what this guy did, but I have been a victim of this kind of situation. It can drive even the laid back to thoughts of mayhem. I wanted to scream to the rooftops "Look at my glee at this old man's sadness"! "I can now sleep the sleep of the righteous"! Even my wife was driven to thoughts of poodlecide in those days. The distinction between those who go on to lead normal healthy lives, and those who become serial killers, is that the normal don't cross that line, even when driven to it, given bus fair for the trip back, and a printout from Mapquest on the quickest route over the line.

DaddyTimesTwo, if this fucktard ever gets laid off, try to leave work for a couple days, k?

[DaddyTimesTwo]

This has a real history of ethically-challenged behavior. He's a network systems engineer and, shall we say, he was given to creative use of company property.

He would be a good example of a sociopath (a person with sense or interest or sympathy in any one other than themselves).

[Cerri]

I'd tell the boss about that story, if I trusted him to keep it on the QT, imo. If a guy will snap and kill a dog for barking, do you want to be around when he gets laid off or demoted?

[Mockingbird]

Originally posted by Clint in Wichita
The guy's only mistake was not shooting the dog AND the dog's owner.

I wouldn't shoot a dog, and I don't condone it, but my GOD some of you are pussies!

Hi there.

As a fully authorised and duly appointed deputy of the human race, let me present you with this free coupon for a vasectomy.

Um... we'd rather you weren't reproducing.

Nothing personal. Your genetic data does not fit our needs at this time.

cc: Higher Power, Planned Parenthood

[dorkusmalorkusmafia]

Ok, now for a funny story about shooting and dogs. (http://www.myusm.com/usm322699.html) Instant karmic retribution. Now that is funny. I remember reading that in the Washington Post but I can't search the archives because I am not a member.

[Kalashnikov]

Originally posted by Cerri
I'd tell the boss about that story, if I trusted him to keep it on the QT, imo. If a guy will snap and kill a dog for barking, do you want to be around when he gets laid off or demoted?

Absolutely. Be afraid. Be very afraid. If I had to be around someone like that, I would defintely be armed ALL the time.

BTW, There's no such thing as an unregistered pistol in Kentucky, or rather they're all unregistered because Kentucky doesn't register guns.

Someone should have called the police, but if this happened years ago I don't know if it would accomplish anything now.
Although if he does have a criminal record, it might be illegal for him to have a gun at all. Hmm.

[Clint in Wichita]

Originally posted by Mockingbird
Hi there.

As a fully authorised and duly appointed deputy of the human race, let me present you with this free coupon for a vasectomy.

Um... we'd rather you weren't reproducing.

Nothing personal. Your genetic data does not fit our needs at this time.

cc: Higher Power, Planned Parenthood

Too late!

BTW, how many dogs have you rescued from animal shelters?

[UncleBeer]

Heh. Ya beat me to that little tidbit about handgun registration in Kentucky, Kalishnikov.

[elf6c]

Originally posted by Clint in Wichita
Too late!

BTW, how many dogs have you rescued from animal shelters?

One cat-- how many do we need?

[tiny ham]

So if we don't personally rescue all dogs from animal shelters, they should be shot instead.

Good work Clint. You have my vote.

By the way, I've rescued one dog from the streets and three cats from shelters, and I think your comment was crass at best.

[CanvasShoes]

Originally posted by NurseCarmen
I swear if I would have had an RPG on any of those Saturday mornings when that damn dog woke not only me, but my infant son up, it would have been Poodle Bits TM.
[/B]

Sorry, miniature hijack here....

RPG? (I know this as Role Playing Game).

Registered something Gun? sorry, not an acronym familiar to me.

Thanks in advance for enlightening me!!

[Kalashnikov]

Originally posted by Clint in Wichita
BTW, how many dogs have you rescued from animal shelters?

The dogs destroyed by animal shelters don't belong to anyone, at least not anyone who wants them. And when they are killed, its done in a humane way (not that shooting is always intrinsicly inhumane) that does not endanger either bystanders' lives or gunowners' rights.

I wouldn't have a problem with 'dognapping' an animal in a case like this and taking it to a shelter, since that's the first place a person would call if their dog was missing and they cared about it at all. It would give the owner a second chance to take care of it and do something about the barking.

I also wouldn't have a problem with someone shooting their own dog if it was very ill, or vicious or something, provided they did it as humanely, safely, and discreetly as possible - and didn't laugh and brag about it.

[Kalashnikov]

RPG = rocket propelled grenade

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

Originally posted by Clint in Wichita
Too late!

BTW, how many dogs have you rescued from animal shelters?

Well, I've written grants that have gotten about $25,000 dedicated to having animals spayed and neutered in our community. I've designed our shelter's Web site, which has led to a significant increase in adoptions from our shelter. I've spoken to hundreds of children in classrooms about the need to spay and neuter animals. And I've got two cats in my house that I adopted from the shelter.

Am I, therefore, qualified to call you a shitbiscuit?

You may in real life be a sweetie. But in this thread, you come across like a bad case of diarrhea.

Daniel

[Ogre]

Rocket Propelled Grenade.

[elf6c]

Originally posted by CanvasShoes
Sorry, miniature hijack here....

RPG? (I know this as Role Playing Game).

Registered something Gun? sorry, not an acronym familiar to me.

Thanks in advance for enlightening me!!

RPG- Rocket Propelled Grenade- a cheap light anti-tank weapon popular in many third world countries which have access to old Soviet Union military equipment. Not much use against modern tanks, but decent against APC's, landing helo's and barking Poodles (just kidding of course- RPGing a poodle is not a good idea, and is a violation of an amazing amount of different laws).

[Ashkicker]

This is totally fucking sick. Not only did he shoot the dog, but he shot the dog in a neighborhood? It was garbage day? That tells me he could have missed his target and hit a person or God forbid a kid. I don't care how early in the morning it was. I'd certainly turn his ass in!

[Miller]

Originally posted by DanielWithrow
Yuck. The world has some assholes in it.

When I first started working at the humane society, we had a local guy who worked ona construction site. There was a stray dog that came around the site sometimes, so one day this fool went over to the dog with a machete, killed it, chopped its head off, and licked the blood from his machete in front of the rest of the crew.

Yay felony animal cruelty convictions.
Daniel


Well, I hope you found some consolation in the thought of the many interesting blood parasites he undoubtedly picked up from his little display of machismo.

And Clint, speaking as someone who's saved four dogs, three cats, and a variety of rodentia from animal shelters, I'm going to be execercising my duely earned right to call you a living skidmark on the tighty-whiteys of the human race.

[koeeoaddi]

Originally posted by DanielWithrow
Well, I've written grants that have gotten about $25,000 dedicated to having animals spayed and neutered in our community. I've designed our shelter's Web site, which has led to a significant increase in adoptions from our shelter. I've spoken to hundreds of children in classrooms about the need to spay and neuter animals. And I've got two cats in my house that I adopted from the shelter.

Am I, therefore, qualified to call you a shitbiscuit?Daniel

It also qualifies you as my hero du jour, Daniel.

Oh, and I have three rescued cats and one rescued dog.

[Zenster]

Killing an innocent animal (however annoying) because it is neglected and unattended is a vicious and criminal act.

I wondered how you were possibly going to make a dog-killing thread funny.

Now I don't ... you didn't.

I can't wish that someone kills one of your innocent pets.

I can only call you a Grade AAA, jumbo, ranch style and range fed, prime cut, hallmarked, top drawer, flight worthy, 14 Karat, Heinz 57 Varieties of pure uncut rectal cavity.

[Zenster]

Sorry, posted too soon. Please refer to the criminal party with all of the above adjectives.