Jack's Back in Black (GASP!)

[Padeye]

Our favorite tract boy, Jack Chick, is back to his Catholic bashing ways in Man in Black (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5023/5023_01.asp). He's in rare form with even the apostle John giving a trademark "GASP!" No "HAW! HAW! HAW" but I think we can use this as fodder for another write your own tract thread.

[Smeghead]

Note to self: If I ever run across a despondant priest who's lost his faith and is contemplating suicide, the correct response is to confirm that Jesus ALSO hates his religion. That'll cheer him right up.

[Doomtrain]

I like the little check boxes. Am I going to get into Heaven faster if I have a little ticket?

[Doomtrain]

And on second thought, that can't be Satan. That's only one of his goblins. It doesn't look like Tim Curry at all.

[brianjedi]

Am I the only one who opened this thread expecting some sort of rant about comedian/musician Jack Black?

Anyway, I'm glad to see Chick's back on his game. I was disappointed by the last few tracts he's released, but this one is up to his typical level of intolerant un-Christian crapflinging.

Anyone else catch the "symbolism"* and "irony"* of the priest being named Damien?

*-I put these words in quotation marks because I don't think Chick could actually grasp these concepts.

[RexDart]

Originally posted by brianjedi
Am I the only one who opened this thread expecting some sort of rant about comedian/musician Jack Black?
Nope. But I considered Chick a possibility since he was about due for another one, and they all get drug out here at the SDMB for our amusement and ridicule.


Anyway, I'm glad to see Chick's back on his game. I was disappointed by the last few tracts he's released, but this one is up to his typical level of intolerant un-Christian crapflinging.

Anyone else catch the "symbolism"* and "irony"* of the priest being named Damien?

*-I put these words in quotation marks because I don't think Chick could actually grasp these concepts.

Yeah, that was the lamest attempt at "symbolism" this side of a moody high-schooler's short stories.

I love how every anti-Catholic tract of his uses that same mystifying conclusion that the RCC is the "whore of Babylon", with his support for that interpretation never given, only a cite to a book he publishes. BTW, I thought Babylon was what turned into either Iraq or Iran, right? Seems pretty unrelated to Rome.

[Doomtrain]

IANJC, but I imagine it's something along the lines of a "symbolic" Babylon. Lotsa corruption, gold-leafing, artworks, and pointy hats.

[iampunha]

Originally posted by brianjedi
Anyone else catch the "symbolism"* and "irony"* of the priest being named Damien?

Ironically enough, my English teacher first year of HS was Father Damian. A priest.

No, I am not making this up. I rather doubt, however, that he's heard of Jack Chick.

[Derleth]

GMRyujin: Oh God, no pointy hats! You can strap me to the comfy chair, but don't torment me with pointy hats!

When Idiots Breed: The Jack Chick Story

(... I own a TV, but the Internet is more fun anyhow ...)

[vanilla]

I didn't check out one of the Bible verses, but it Does say DO not call any man your Father.
I was brought up in a Catholic church.
I was also taught that you can get to Heaven by being good enough, faith wasn't even mentioned.
No, I'm not agreeing with Chick, but there are some glaring faults with the Catholic Church.
A chrsitian can be in ANY church. I have never been an official member of any church.
After I became a christian, I leanred that presits cannot forgive your sins.
I was taught that in Catholic Church.
And that saying repetitive prayers would make up for my sins.
Wrong also.

[Skerri]

Jack Chick, is back to his Catholic bashing ways in Man in Black.

Johnny Cash should sue!

[matt_mcl]

Ironically enough, my English teacher first year of HS was Father Damian. A priest.

And Father Damien of Molokai is the patron of lepers, social outcasts, and people living with AIDS. There's a chapel to him at St-Pierre-Apôtre church here in Montreal that's also the world's only Catholic memorial chapel for AIDS victims.

I'm a gay pagan who likes Catholic Church trivia. Sue me.

[pravnik]

Has Bob's hairline receded a little bit, or is that just me?

[asterion]

Originally posted by Skerri
Johnny Cash should sue!

Forget Johnny Cash, I want someone to turn this into a parody of a bad Will Smith song!

[Monty]

vanilla: I respectfully submit that either (a) the folks teaching you that stuff in the Catholic church you attended glossed over quite a bit, or (b) you must've missed a good deal of what they were teaching.

I say this because what you explained isn't at all what Catholic teaching is.

[vanilla]

agreed.
It was a long time ago (I am old) and that may have been what I decided or thought they were teaching.
But I still couldn't see how a preist could tell me I was forgiven simply by saying repetitive prayers.

[Monty]

I noticed that ol' Chick thinks that Shing-Moo is Venus (good grief!) and also that nobody wrote any part of the Bible after the Revelation of John was penned.

Anyone care to try to explain is rationale (I know, I know) for those two glaring mistakes?

[vanilla]

Originally posted by Monty


Anyone care to try to explain is rationale (I know, I know) for those two glaring mistakes?

Chick has found the good mushrooms..

[Monty]

It's not the saying of repetitive prayers that forgives, vanilla. It's the contrition, the feeling & thoughts behind why one is performing a particular penance, that gains God's forgiveness. The Sacrament of Penance is also scripturally based.

How about one of the more knowledgeable Catholics jumping in here? Y'all probably don't want this Mormon teaching the Catechism!

[vanilla]

Like I said, I was a young one(grade school) while in that church.

But its true, the repentance and sorrow for sinning is all you need( plus No Tea!)
;)

[beagledave]

Originally posted by vanilla
I didn't check out one of the Bible verses, but it Does say DO not call any man your Father.


Well...not quite (http://www.columbia.edu/cu/augustine/a/faq-cc.html#q25)






I was also taught that you can get to Heaven by being good enough, faith wasn't even mentioned.


That's not the teaching of the church. See here (http://www.columbia.edu/cu/augustine/a/faq-cc.html#q13)





After I became a christian, I leanred that presits cannot forgive your sins.
I was taught that in Catholic Church.


Well that's not Catholic teaching. You had a poorly informed teacher if he/she actually said that. See here (http://www.columbia.edu/cu/augustine/a/faq-cc.html#q18)




And that saying repetitive prayers would make up for my sins.
Wrong also.

Acts of contrition do not "make up" for sins. So again..you either had a poorly informed teacher, or didn't understand what he/she was trying to teach.

See here (http://www.columbia.edu/cu/augustine/a/faq-cc.html) for an overview of the "glaring faults" that you outlined.

[tiny ham]

Packers suck

[Aguecheek]

Now...Am I the only one who thinks that Jack's Father Damien looks suspiciously like the Father Damien from The Exorcist? I'm looking for a picture right now.

[Aguecheek]

Maybe this (http://theexorcist.warnerbros.com/img/miller.jpg)

[Max Carnage]

Originally posted by GMRyujin
IANJC, but I imagine ...

I just wanted to say that THAT is the funniest use of "IANA..." I've seen on the board :)

[beagledave]

Originally posted by jarbabyj
Packers suck

Some statements are not forgivable in the eyes of God.

[Padeye]

Now now people, we aren't here to bash each other's religions. Heck even I have issues with R.C. teachings (and FWIW I had just over a year of catechism as a lad) but there is a vast gulf between that and Jack's raging venom.

[jovan]

Originally posted by vanilla
Like I said, I was a young one(grade school) while in that church.

But its true, the repentance and sorrow for sinning is all you need( plus No Tea!)
;)

To be fair to vanilla, I was raised in a catholic environment and I have to say that unfortunately, in my experience, many priests do a piss-poor job at explaining these sorts of things to kids.

[irishgirl]

Isis, Horus and Seb????

Seb??


i thought the Egyptian divine family was Isis, Osiris and Horus.

[kingpengvin]

Like the holy trinity being like a shamrock.... Small Green and split three ways"

[Homebrew]

I guess a certain poster whom I won't name asked Jack for more affirmation for her Catholic-bashing.

[Beagle]

"Warning! Never add to, or take away from, God's words!"

I won't risk either. *Slides bible under wobbly chair*

[KarmaComa]

Originally posted by GMRyujin
And on second thought, that can't be Satan. That's only one of his goblins. It doesn't look like Tim Curry at all.
HAW HAW HAW!

Hey, I think the world needs a HAW HAW HAW smily. Maybe just an alteration of :wally but I'll have to stick with :D :D :D for now.

[Bad News Baboon]

ok, I have a question.

First off, I admit I didn't read his whole comic (arg. It's so hard to follow).
I was raised catholic and don't know very much about other religions.

Why is Mary being vilified? Do other Christian religions not believe in Mary?
I'm confussed.


-Babs, who apparently is going to hell. I hope if I do, I get to wear a nifty pointed hat.

p.s.
That picture of Nimrod made me laugh. It reminds me of a cartoon a friend sent me that has a little boy running around with a dildo on his forehead saying "look mommy! I'm a rhino".

[Lute Skywatcher]

JC needs to get out more.

Panel 10: Jesus prophesized the coming of the Catholic church. Right, and Notradamus prophesized the coming of Hitler.

Panel 29: What, Nativity scenes, Jesus on the cross, and IHS are strictly Catholic? Yeah, sure, Jack.

There is no rolleyes smiley big enough for the joke that is Jack Chick.

[Padeye]

Jack doesn't vilify Mary but rather his mistaken notion that Mary is worshipped in her own right.

All other Christian denominations believe in Mary but protestants and others part ways on the immaculate conception and Mary staying a virgin after Jesus' birth. The gospels say Jesus had siblings but leaves out a few key details.

[beagledave]

Originally posted by Bad News Baboon
ok, I have a question.

First off, I admit I didn't read his whole comic (arg. It's so hard to follow).
I was raised catholic and don't know very much about other religions.

Why is Mary being vilified? Do other Christian religions not believe in Mary?
I'm confussed.


Catholics (as a rule) tend to have a stronger focus on Mary(some Catholics more than others..look up "co-redemtrix").

There are some folks who think (wrongly) therefore, that Catholics "worship" Mary.

[Padeye]

Say, what does IHS stand for? My own RC education was brief and TLL could only remember nuns telling her it was "in his service."

[Doomtrain]

Originally posted by Beagle
"Warning! Never add to, or take away from, God's words!"


*quits writing "booger" in the Bible*

Aww CRAP!

[beagledave]

Originally posted by Padeye
Say, what does IHS stand for? My own RC education was brief and TLL could only remember nuns telling her it was "in his service."

See here (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/07649a.htm)

[Ludovic]

Originally posted by iampunha
I rather doubt, however, that he's heard of Jack Chick.

Sometimes, I use this as a put-down. "You don't know Jack Chick." :D

[RexDart]

Originally posted by Beagle
"Warning! Never add to, or take away from, God's words!"

I won't risk either. *Slides bible under wobbly chair*

Hey, cut Chick a break. He's just trying to help God avoid the inevitable products liability lawsuits brought on a failure-to-warn theory. You know, guy omits the anti-homosexual stuff, decides to be not only gay but incredibly promiscuous and stupid (like all gay people), gets AIDS (like all gay people), sues God for not warning him about editing the bible. Imagine the damages, and the drain on God's finances! God would have to start carrying malpractice insurance.

I can see Jack just being sooooo concerned about that, up all night in worry that someone might change god's words around out of ignorance and ruin his own life, and end up getting told by some faceless dude on a big chair to "depart ye into everlasting fire, blah, blah, blah". After all, he's such a kind and caring man ;)

[Padeye]

Jack's not exactly a font of compassion. I suppse he means well which maybe counts for something but his message is so incredibly corrupted it defeats any possible good intention. Jack is evil but I suppose the best thing I can say is he'll be in a different circle of hell than Fred Phelps.

[Velma]

I like the idea of the priests as "little Jesuses." They're so cute! Look, he thinks he's Jesus! Is that even the correct pluralization of Jesus?

This is my favorite quote: "The true Church of Christ showed only love to all. Never did they harm any who opposed them."
My irony meter exploded.

[Doomtrain]

Dark Dungeons (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp) ensures Chick's place in hilarity.

[gobear]

Without getting into the theology of Jack's atest opus, I can tell you that his version of the history of the early Church is seriously flawed (I know, I was shocked, too!).

In panel 21, Bob says, "The last great emperor of Rome, Constantine, stopped the persecutions and claimed to be a Christian but he also worshipped the sun god. This shrewd politician ordered his ruthless, bloodthirsty troops to become 'Christians'. . . so these pagans could destroy the Lord's true church."

In 312 AD, Constantine was fighting his brother-in-law Maxentius for control of Italy. The night before battle, supposedly, Constantine had a vision of a cross of light floating above the sun bearing the inscription, "By this sign you shall conquer." After Constantine crushed his rival at the battle of the Milvian Bridge, he set himself up as protector of his Christian subjects. He allowed ecclesiastical courts to act as courts of appeal for civil cases, forbade the murder of slaves, and in 321 procliamed Sunday as an official day of rest. In 325, Constantine convened the council of Nicaea in order to quell the Arian heresy that taught that Christ was created by God and was not co-eternal or of one substance with Him. I'm puzzled why Chick thinks Constantine was a threat to the Church.

In frame 22, Bob says that the "real" Christians fled to the mountains, taking the word of God with them" What mountains? Where? And how could they take the Word of God (by which I assume he means the Bible) in 312 when the final canon of the Bible was set by the third Council of Carthage in 397 AD?

When the priest says, "So only the phonies stayed in Rome, " he ignores the fact that the primacy of the bishop of Rome as the head of Christendom was not generally accepted until the reign of Leo I (440-461) and that before Leo religious authority had followed the imperial power to Constantinople.

I have no idea what bob means when he says, "In Alexandria, Egypt phony Christians were rewriting the word of God." If Bob is talking about the Greek translation of the Old Testament called the Septuagint, then he's off by about 500 years. The Septuagint was compiled in Ptolemaic Egypt about two centuries before Christ.

In addition, Constantine was not the Pope, and the first pope with that name does not appear until the 8th century.

In frame 24, Bob paints an inaccurately bleak picture of early medieval Europe when he says, "Civilization collapsed. Life became a nightmare. Vandals plundered, raped, and destroyed Europe." For one thing, it's a biased Eurocentric view that ignores the rise of Islam and the flowering of Tang China. Moreover, it glosses over the fact though the Western Roman Empire ceased to exist, new nation-states arose in Europe, like the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms in England and the Frankish empire in what are now France and Germany. Moreover, the Vandals were Arian Christians who had settled in Spain and then North Africa under Gaiseric. The Christian barbarian tribes from the East, like the Alani, the Goths, and the Lombards, managed to settle in and acculturate where they settled. The Huns, OTOH, were a handful, but after Attila's death, they, too, settled down and then faded away.

I copuld go on at length, but this should at least illustrate in a crude way how Chick manages to twist history to suit his ends.

[The_Peyote_Coyote]

Hell, Chick has lost it. His tracts, especially Green Angels, used to be good for a hoot, but their quality has gone to Hell since he introduced Bob.

Hire Sherlock Holmes to get a clue, Jack, and dump Bob for his just reward and go back to writing tracts about rock'n'roll, inept demons, and evilution.

[The_Peyote_Coyote]

Oops, pardon me. Try http://members.aol.com/monsterwax/chick.html, and click on the tract entitled Angels.

[asterion]

Originally posted by Velma
I like the idea of the priests as "little Jesuses." They're so cute! Look, he thinks he's Jesus! Is that even the correct pluralization of Jesus?


I'm thinking Jesi.

[Guinastasia]

Um, gobear, it was not the cross, but the Rho Chi. (It looks like a P with an X at the bottom.)

Besides, Constantine was NEVER EVER a freaking POPE. Nor did he convert to Christianity-not until he was on his death bed.

Chick is so freaking DUMB. Of course, he also doesn't realize that most priests are well-educated. Much more so than Chick.

[Kantalooppi]

I continue to be in awe of Uncle Bob's hypnotic powers. The thought "What if all this was just pure bullshit?" doesn't even once enter the priest's head - Bob just talks a bit and the priest's instantly kneeling in front of him.

Hmm. One wonders whether Bob ever has the temptation to use his powers for evil.

[gobear]

Um, gobear, it was not the cross, but the Rho Chi. (It looks like a P with an X at the bottom.)

Ahem, if you bother to read your copy of Eusebius, you will find that

[Constantine] saw with his own eyes the trophy of a cross of light in the heavens, above the sun, and bearing the the inscription Conquer By This. He himself was struck by amazement and his whole army also.


Moreover the mark you refer to is called the Chi-Rho, NOT the "Rho-Chi," after the first two letters of Christ's name in Greek.

[Mangetout]

"Warning! Never add to, or take away from, God's words!"

Did those words burn your lips when you spoke them, Mr Chick?

[Guinastasia]

D'oh, Chi-Rho. Dammit, sorry. I'm just vaguely remembering from Western Civ I, so don't hit me.

[gobear]

Bob just talks a bit and the priest's instantly kneeling in front of him.

Huh, and Bob's not even an altarboy.