View Full Version : Things at work that make you giggle
04-08-2003, 11:05 AM
I work at a law firm, and I occassionally run into various briefs and filings and such. But one particular brand of motion makes me giggle every time I run across it:
Motion to Enlarge
04-08-2003, 11:07 AM
Crap. Apparantly my motion was granted.
04-08-2003, 11:09 AM
I work at a window manufacturer. Do you have any idea how many times I have to see/type/say "Double-Hung"?!
04-08-2003, 11:27 AM
A thing that makes me giggle at school (since I, being a college student, don't have a real job): In my culture & emotions class, we spent a great deal of time discussing a theorist named Carol Izard. This always reminds me of Eddie Izzard. It takes every ounce of strength I have to keep from yelling "Cake or death?... Cake, please!" at my professor.
Yes, I realize that I'm a huge dork.
04-08-2003, 11:35 AM
I'm in magazine publishing. I loved the day I told my typesetter to "pick a new dingbat."
(A dingbat is a tiny decorative bit used to separate sections of text, fill space at the bottom of a column, or the like.)
We constantly have to monitor fluids and pressure in the annulus.
04-08-2003, 12:03 PM
I was writing a memo about forcibly expelling a member of a limited liability company, as he was stealing business for himself from the company. I snickered every time I referred to him as "the offending member."
I do trusts and wills, and one way of distributing the assets of a trust or estate is per stirpes. That usually gets a laugh.
And Motion to Quash always gets me. It sounds a lot like squash, which, to me, is an inherently funny word.
04-08-2003, 12:03 PM
Some of us in the office use a software package called IRAF to analyse our data. One of IRAF's subpackages is called the SExtractor. You call it from the command prompt by typing "sex". It creates files with a .sex extension :p
Who says astronomers are wierd?
04-08-2003, 12:08 PM
When I worked at a scale and weighing facility, not a week would go by without my having to refer to a "ball cup foot". These are a ball and socket (or cup) self adjusting foot for leveling the scale, a perfectly normal piece of equipment.
Middle school voice "tee-hee-hee-hee"
And not work related, but who can forget "PNS Auto", run by a couple of Pakistani guys who probably weren't in on the joke.
04-08-2003, 12:37 PM
Hearing my cow-orkers speak. Well, one of 'em. She's from Japan, but has lived here for 30 years (longer than me!!), and does pretty well with the language most of the time. My two favorites lately are "temporarily" and "bereavement". (One of our PMs was gone temporarily on bereavement leave.)
And I love to hear the guys talk about different erectors and building erection (I work for a general contractor).!
04-08-2003, 12:41 PM
I work for an structural engineering comapny and often field calls from steel construction customers that have ......wait for it.....
Just try and listen in on the one ended phone conversation in the next cubicle with out snorting coffee out your nose
.....uh huh, I see, hmmm you have an erection problem.....
.....hmmmm won't fit.....mmmm hmmm....
.....have you tried reaming out the holes?
..... I see, you say the diphragm (plate) won't line up either.
..... well I better come out for a visit...I'll bring the digital camera so I can document for future reference.
04-08-2003, 02:01 PM
Well, this isn't really funny work terminology, rather funny things that happened there... I worked tech support and we had to ask the callers for their usernames. I won't say who I worked for, but someone's username was "horny_mexican", and someone else's was "PooOnU82". I had to mute the phone to giggle.
Also, once someone called and was watching a porn, I could hear it in the background. I put him on mute to make fun of him: "HAHA this guy is watching a PORN, is this really the right time to call tech support?" So my cubemate made a huge deal and told me to hang up, which I wouldn't do, but a crowd of about 6 people gathered behind my desk and started saying things like, "I don't think it's his COMPUTER he's playing with!" I kept having to mute the call so he wouldn't hear them. :D
04-08-2003, 02:14 PM
I work for a cosmetics company, and it's really funny to hear a group of us standing around having a heated argument about "glorifiers" or "clear-the-way masks" or "the damn beach pebble is screwed up" (that's a popular shade of lipstick.
The other day, my GF called and asked if I'd mind stopping by the company store and picking up some eyeliner for her. I said "Wait a minute, I think I have a couple here in my desk"......pregnant pause.......""Why the hell do you have eyeliner in your desk?"
Well, 'cause they bring it to me when they're having a problem and I have to take it to meetings and show people and stuff and then it ends up in my desk. (Sheesh, can't a guy try to look nice these days?)
04-08-2003, 02:27 PM
Job #1: technical support call center, where I'm 2nd-Tier support providing help desk to the tech's who talk to the customers - if they can't provide the answer/fix, they call me. It cracks me up that, invariably, they'll say "I have this customer on the phone..." Beats the hell out of those walk-up customers, doesn't it?
Job #2: providing physical inventory support for a company that provides polyethelene (sp?) pipe for construction/mining/draining purposes. This pipe requires a machine that fuses pieces of the pipe together, as opposed to threaded pipe ala PVC. I catalog the machine parts
grooved nipple (ouch)
butt fusion plates (fuse my what?!?)
extended dick (no, really!)
04-08-2003, 02:29 PM
Lieu said, "We constantly have to monitor fluids and pressure in the annulus."
Why does this not surprise me?
04-08-2003, 02:40 PM
Kalhoun, I was thinking the same thing. He seems to take his work home with him a bit too often, though.
04-08-2003, 02:44 PM
There's a poster over the soup table in our cafeteria that reads "Warm Up to SOUP"; it's got a viny decorative edging, and part of one vine comes up across the bottom edge of the "O" in SOUP, so it looks like a "Q". Whenever I see it, I read it as "Warm Up to SQUID" and think, "I don't think so!"
Originally posted by Munch
I was thinking the same thing. He seems to take his work home with him a bit too often, though. But Munch, if we encounter some gas we could lose all our mud.
04-09-2003, 09:02 AM
Listening to two co-workers playing some sort of Disney-themed football game on the gamecube at lunchtime. One a body-builder type, the other just tall and wide.
Ten minutes in, I hear them start insulting each other in profanity-strewn micky-mouse voices.
What makes me giggle the most at work are threads like this.
Especially the first two posts.
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