Most irritating commercial of the decade

[ExTank]

Well, personally, I hate the damned Carl's Jr. commercials; they all sound like they stuck a microphone in someone's mouth while they were eating. This is supposed to be appetizing?

And I especially love those medicine commercials, where some company's hocking it's latest concoction, and then at the end they do the speed-talk thing, telling us about the possible side effects.

Now, I realize most of those side effects will never occur in the vast majority of people taking those medications, but GOD! Those side effects sound worse than the damned malady they're supposed to be curing!

<FONT COLOR="GREEN">ExTank</FONT>
Warning! Reading this post may cause vomiting, diahrea, painful anal boils, erectile disfuntion, migraines, double vision, loss of appetite and chronic halitosis.

[Christian897]

DOC sexy specs...drives me nutty ;)

[aha]

What is are some opinions for the worst TV commercial of the decade? I think that commercial for flautulance is the worst. I can't think of the name of product (beano maybe? not sure) but the ad shows this woman at a party talking to several men..all of a sudden she has to retreat to the balconey where she apparently passes gas and then goes back to the party to talk to the men who are blissfully unaware that she has just come back from farting like a govenment mule.

SECOND WORST.....
Woodstock ..Tampax was there!!!!!! ( include all feminine hygene product commercials here).


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"Ward, You're upsetting the beaver."
Barbara Billingsley

[JoeyBlades]

Those cnet commercials give me the creeps... those guys look just like the people I work with. [shudder]

[Keeves]

I am annoyed by all the lists that put the "Apple Computer Commercial that aired only once during a 1980's SuperBowl" on the top of their favorites.

I wouldn't call it a bad commercial, mostly because I don't remember it. Why does everyone make such a big deal of it? And why didn't Apple ever show it again? Why didn't they want to milk it for what it cost them? Maybe they thought it was a bad commercial!

[David B]

[Moderator Hat: ON]

I think this falls in more along the lines of MPSIMS (in fact, they've had discussions similar to this in there before), so that's where I'm sending it. Have fun!

------
David B, SDMB Great Debates Moderator

[Moderator Hat: Handed off to Eut.]

Radio ad (McDonald's): The Mickey D's Menu Line commercials with the southern lady who can't sing. Also, all of their adds with the whisper, "<small>Did somebody say McDonald's?</small>"

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Let the Truth of Love be lighted/ Let the Love of Truth shine clear. Sensibility/ Armed with sense and liberty
With the Heart and Mind united in a single/ Perfect/ Sphere. - Rush

[psycat90]

I really can't stand the Taco Bell chihuahua. Ok, maybe that first Yo queiro commercial was cute, but ever since then, ugh. Talk about beating a dog to death. Please, bring back the 'make a run for the border' or something, anything other than that ugly-ass dog. It would make my big beef burrito supreme so much more enjoyable.

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so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. what's so amazing about really deep thoughts? Tori Amos

[RealityChuck]

I also hate that ugly little rat in the Taco Bell commercials. I think they continue to use him because the creatures like him are their major meat supply.



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"East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does." -- Marx

Read "Sundials" in the new issue of Aboriginal Science Fiction. www.sff.net/people/rothman (http://www.sff.net/people/rothman)

[Eve]

ANY of those goddam long-distance phone company ads. Candice Bergen, French Stewart, Dennis Miller . . . They all make me want to throw my phone out the window.

And those "milk" print ads make me physically ill—like, I really want to see people with milk smeared on their faces? Especially guys with facial hair? Urgh . . .

Eve: And those "milk" print ads make me physically ill—like, I really want to see people with milk smeared on their faces? Especially guys with facial hair? Urgh . . .

Especially since what's really on their face is some conncoction that looks nice and white under studio lights.


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Let the Truth of Love be lighted/ Let the Love of Truth shine clear. Sensibility/ Armed with sense and liberty
With the Heart and Mind united in a single/ Perfect/ Sphere. - Rush

[kunilou]

Mentos -- the Freshmaker!

[Daniel]

oooooh . . . trying to bite my tongue but I can't help myself . . . someone in this thread just insulted the daughter of the great Edgar Bergen . . . nnnnnnngh . . . nnnnnnnnnnnnngh . . . ack!

please don't do that.

(phew) now that I've gotten that off my chest: today I saw a lipstick commercial featuring Shania Twain and her "Man! I feel like a woman" song. I saw it twice. It was annoying both times

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"I'm just too much for human existence -- I should be animated."
--Wayne Knight

[labradorian]

(1) Anything with Candace Fucking Bergen in it. Especially the Sprint "WHOWHH!" commercials.

(2) "Purple girl" talks about Welch's Grape Juice. There's something vaguely unsettling about a little girl talking about good it is to stuff purple things in her mouth.

(3) Kramer sells Clorets.

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http://members.xoom.com/labradorian/

[labradorian]

I think that commercial for flautulance is the worst.

They're selling flatulence? Hell, in my house we give it away.

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http://members.xoom.com/labradorian/

[aha]

Geezzz anyone remember when prescription commercials first came out? I had not a clue what some of them were or why you would need them. One just showed a woman on a hillside with flowers growing.. Then they gave the latin name for the product along with the diarrhia and other things that could happen later after you have taken it.
all I could think of was..HUH?

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"Ward, You're upsetting the beaver."
Barbara Billingsley

[Dizzy]

The collect phone call commercials with Bittermen. Agh! If the guys he hangs out with hate him that much, why does he still hang out with them?

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Dizzy

You people have been holding me back long enough! I'm going to clown college!

[Daniel]

I said please . . .

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"I'm just too much for human existence -- I should be animated."
--Wayne Knight

[Chef Troy]

There's another one of those anti-flatulence commercials that made me howl with flabbergasted laughter. Young man escorts young girl to car for first date. YM opens door for YG and seats her. While he's walking around to his door, she lets one rip that sounds like someone tearing a bath towel into two pieces. He gets in and says, "Have you met the Smiths?" She looks over her shoulder and there is another couple in the back seat! Bwaaaaaahahahaha! I don't normally respond to lowbrow humor but this one really got me.

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Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

[John Corrado]

The 1-800-COLLECT guy must be the most annoying product spokesman I've ever seen. He needs to be put down like a dog.

cmkeller- Is that the Levi's commerical where the kid is wheeled into the operating room, and suddenly starts singing "Tainted Love"? If so, I loved that commercial, but I though of the song almost as soon as the machinery started going. Guess you need a weird sense of humor and a large knowledge of '80's songs.

Oh, and that damned Candice Bergen really...

Just kidding, Daniel. Put down the knife.

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JMCJ

This could be YOUR sig line! For just five cents a post, JMCJ Enterprises will place YOUR sig line at the bottom of each message!

[robbaba]

-Chef,

I remember that commercial. Somebody at one time emailed me a Quicktime version of the commercial. It is hilarious.

I'll see if I can find it.

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"It's like banging your head against a wall because it feels so good when you stop."

[Interrobang!?]

I am annoyed by all the lists that put the "Apple Computer Commercial that aired only once during a 1980's SuperBowl" on the top of their favorites.

I wouldn't call it a bad commercial, mostly because I don't remember it. Why does everyone make such a big deal of it? And why didn't Apple ever show it again? Why didn't they want to milk it for what it cost them? Maybe they thought it was a bad commercial!

Well, it probably does deserve to go on or near the top of lists of influential commercials. That was the commercial that turned the Superbowl into the prestige commercial debut spot that it is.

And Apple execs apparantly hated the commercial, but they'd already bought two slots during the Superbowl. They tried to sell them, were only able to sell one, and so had to air something. Might as well be that commercial they produced . . .

As for why they never ran it again: they didn't have to. A&E's show on "The Ten Greatest Commercials" had an exec from either Apple or Chiat/Day (the agency that did the ad) saying that the free publicity and repeats of the commercial after the first airing would probably have cost them about $50 million to actually buy. Instant pop culture phenomenon.

It's certainly a heavily-admired spot within the industry, both because it was well-made and because it had such an impact. Greatest commercial ever? All a matter of taste. (I'd probably vote for the VW Jetta "everything comes together" commercial set in New Orleans, myself.)

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All the best people have bad chests and bone diseases.
It's all frightfully romantic.
Heavenly Creatures, scr. Walsh & Jackson

[Interrobang!?]

There's another one of those anti-flatulence commercials that made me howl with flabbergasted laughter. Young man escorts young girl to car for first date. YM opens door for YG and seats her. While he's walking around to his door, she lets one rip that sounds like someone tearing a bath towel into two pieces. He gets in and says, "Have you met the Smiths?" She looks over her shoulder and there is another couple in the back seat!

Based on a classic urban legend, and well-done. It's an ad for a pager or cell-phone service, though, so it apparantly didn't do its job. (I.e., getting you to remember what product it was pushing.)

There's a good archive of commercials online, including that one, at www.adcritic.com (http://www.adcritic.com) .

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All the best people have bad chests and bone diseases.
It's all frightfully romantic.
Heavenly Creatures, scr. Walsh & Jackson

[JoeyBlades]

Keeves wrote:


I am annoyed by all the lists that put the "Apple Computer Commercial that aired only once during a 1980's SuperBowl" on the top of their favorites.


With good reason. That commercial was brilliant on many, many levels.



I wouldn't call it a bad commercial, mostly because I don't remember it.


You must be a young whipper snapper. Have you never read George Orwell's 1984? If you were familiar with 1984 and saw that commercial, it would have left an indelible mark.


Why does everyone make such a big deal of it?


It was about oppression, apathy, and the willingness of the masses to bow down to totalitarianism and autocracy. Big Brother (AKA Big Blue) ranting in the background, the hammer of defiance crashing through the screen... Then the slogan:


On January 24th, Apple Computer will introduce Macintosh. And you will see why 1984 won't be like "1984."



Directed by Ridley Scott, the commercial is rife with cultural, literary and technical allusions.

Check out the following page for a detailed analysis and QuickTime clips:
http://www.uiowa.edu/~commstud/adclass/1984_mac_ad.html



And why didn't Apple ever show it again? Why didn't they want to milk it for what it cost them? Maybe they thought it was a bad commercial


Why would Apple want to cheapen the concept by "milking" it? Think Different! Word of mouth about the commercial was so strong and then it became known that you could actually see the commercial at some of the retailers... I wonder how many of those people, who went in to catch a glimpse of the commercial that everyone was talking about, walked out with a Macintosh computer???

It was definitely a brilliant commercial and a marketing coup for Apple.

[brdrcolle]

I agree with aha - any and all commercials regarding feminine hygiene products.

I also hate those commercials that have those fake dancing babies in them (and no, I do not hate babies/children).

How about that stupid, irritating commercial with the guitar playing guy singing about "Doxidan, gentle Doxidan" (like anyone would sing about a laxative, before or after administering the product). Man!!!!!

I'm also tired of all the entertainment personalities telling me to dial another 7 digits when I make a long distance phone call.

Some of those "sale" commercials, like "I've fallen and I can't get up" and the ones for the "clapper". (Did Drew Carey watch a lot of these or what?)

And somebody do something with that "Taco Bell" rat, would ya?

(If you ask me, anything that doesn't have the Lizards in it is boring.)

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"My, my. Such a lot of guns around here and so few brains."
~Humphrey Bogart in "The Maltese Falcon"

[AuntiePam]

One of the early Preparation H commercials had a spot with animated lightning bolts to represent the pain of hemorrhoids. Lightning bolts!

Heck, you guys, any of the commercials showing today beat the pants off the dreck we sat through in the early days.

The dancing Alka Seltzer ("Alky?") was considered avant garde.

[Louie]

Video game commercials, especially the PlayStation games ads. Always the same thing, 27 seconds of annoying plot of the main character, followed by 3 seconds of clips from the game viewed super fast forward.

Internet web site commercials. "Hey, let's take something unfunny and offending, and make it ten times worse. That'll get some hits in no time."

[Doctordec]

Any and all commercials showing men as overweight, beer swilling morons wearing football jerseys that only think about sports, sex, and eating!

The Volkswagon commercial set in New Orleans is getting pretty old, too.

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"Hope is not a method"

[handy]

'Feminine Moisturizers'

Those commercials drive me nuts. I asked some women what it is for and they don't know.

I'd probably vote for the VW Jetta "everything comes together" commercial set in New Orleans, myself. Is that the one where everything is timed to the music on the radio? That commercial is awesome.

The worst commercials belong to Dodge, and their unbelievably annoying "New Dodge," and "Different" campaigns. How many times do we have to see the "new" Dodge? They've had the same stinkin' commercials since '93! And why is every car red?!?

Ok, maybe it's just me. But I swear I want to "Run away! Run away!" whenever I see these ads.

Adam

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"Life is hard...but God is good"

[Alphagene]

Any commercial featuring Paul Reiser. I love how Paul looks so brilliant when he's surrounded by brain-dead people who can't conceive of the exciting new calling plan he's spouting about.

At least his dumb show is off the air.

[cmkeller]

I couldn't say for sure if it was in this decade or the last, but there was this really, really stupid Levis Jeans commercial that I despised. It was so nonsensical, I can't even describe it.

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Chaim Mattis Keller
cmkeller@compuserve.com

"Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks."
-- Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

[aha]

Any commercial featuring Paul Reiser
Is that is reiser's younger brother in the store where reiser is buying some candy? The guy behind the counter? The one that says "we charge more between certain hours" They look just alike.

And those psychic commercialsss!!!!! Oh man how could anyone be blissfully stupid enough to call that number. And why are the psychics all women?? When that pie faced black woman says..."Your gonna lose both your boyfriend AND your husband."I want to just shit a brick.

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"Ward, You're upsetting the beaver."
Barbara Billingsley

[aha]

The salad garden....bleech we went to one a few weeks ago..the service was so bad the manager had to buy our lunch. I wonder if they know what real Italian food taste like..

And the ford commerical...gonna buy me a ford truck and drive it up and down the road..
What moron thought of those lyrics to an already mindless shitty country song ( Crazy bout a mercury)

err mmm make that the olive garden :

[Doobieous]

Hmm Those damn Taco Bell commercials are annoying I really hate that stupid commercial for their Chalupas.

Anyway, there are a couple local commercials I despise.

One is an add for a car company. It shows a glass of water on a table, someone drops in a couple of alka-seltzers. Then about 2 seconds after they are dropped in, you see the glass get picked up. Then you hear annoying-as-hell gluping sounds and then the person puts the glass down. It's obvious the guy likes eating the alka-seltzers too. So annoying I forget what types of cars they sell.

The second is a radio commercial. It's about stalking, but the annoying part is when the guy says "it makes him jealousy angry". Anyway, I always have to change the channel before the guy says it.


I also understood what the premise of that old Macintosh commercial was (the book 1984 and all that), but I dont see why people think it's all that and a box of microchips.

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It's worth the risk of burning, to have a second chance...

[WillGolfForFood]

Toe Fungus commercials.

Has anyone ever actually *heard* of a case of toe fungus other than in those commercials?

[aha]

atheletes foot is a fungus but is usually between the toes.
And no one has mention those OLD NAVY adds with that old whoredog dancing around it makes me retch. Doesn't she know those ugly white glasses just scream "HEY, I am old and ridiculous"!!!

[Sweet Basil]

I would quickly become violent whenever a specific Taco Bell ad came on. It was about 2 years ago, just before the annoying ratdog. It mostly featured an all-black screen and someone whistling a very sick melody. I think the point was that without Taco Bell, life is pointless and dreary. They showed it so damn much!! I was also a bit disturbed by the Hitleresque Taco Bell ads where the masses are saluting the wretched ratdog 'seig heil' style with tacos in-hand.

Sweet Basil

[ruadh]

The one for the AIDS home-test kit which starts off with a girl saying "I've got a new boyfriend, and a new reason to be tested for HIV" and ends with her deep-breathing and repeating "I'm OK, I'm OK." Like we were all waiting to see how her test turned out.

There's also a highly irritating commercial that airs on Fox Sports World all the frigging time, for some kind of Viagra type medicine or something. Some short goofy bald guy in a doctor's gown comes on the screen and says "Discussing men's sexual behavior is always a very discreet topic." Huh???

[Persephone]

aha: You said it before I did--Old Navy. I cannot express the depth of my hatred for those ads. I don't remember exactly how he phrased it, but in another thread about commercials, TennHippie compared the Old Navy ads to a PCP trip.

I suppose they've been successful in getting me to remember their name, but never, never never will I buy their product. I will stitch fig leaves together before I wear Old Navy clothing.

[Squee]

I think it was an ad for Preperation H or something, but I remember the guy saying, "For an itch so private, I can only discuss it with my Dr." That used to crack me up!

[cmkeller]

John Corrado:

cmkeller- Is that the Levi's commerical where the kid is wheeled into the operating room, and suddenly starts singing "Tainted Love"? If so, I loved that commercial, but I though of the song almost as soon as the machinery started going. Guess you need a weird sense of humor and a large knowledge of '80's songs.

No way. That one (not that I've seen it) sounds like it makes some sense, at least.

The one I'm talking about was a jumble of cartton images of distorted human figures wandering aimlessly all over the TV screen. The sound in the background was, I guess, some sort of hip-hop beat. The word "Levis" is only seen at the end, and in the middle of the commercial, you might be able to make out a low-tones voice saying something like "Leeee-vaaaahzzzuh." That's the best I can do for a description. I mean, it was so nonsensical, it made dadaist painting look like Norman Rockwell.

Chaim Mattis Keller

[aha]

Watch out for that new hip hop burger king commercial..at even mild volume it will irritate the living shit out of you from start to finsh. Just watch it once and see what I mean.

[ThereWolf]

aha -

About that Paul Reiser/brother behind the counter commercial: I thought I was the only one who thought that! He looks like him, has the same delivery... either he's Reiser's brother, or they did some freaky casting.

But that aside, I especially hate the "off brand" phone company commercials. Some, I understand, are directed toward a younger demographic. But the ones that say "These types of phone calls are too important to rush," where the spokesperson, lit so that it looks like they're practically glowing, comes out in a suit and tie, or is the family member not involved in the conversation, and speaks directly to the camera as if they are confiding in you. First of all, it sounds like they are marketing to the morons of the world: a person catching a tiny fish, another failing a driving test, little Johnny can't explain to the grandfather himself that he hit the homerun so mommy has to do it for him. Bleccch! Never mind the fact that most of these commercials seem to revolve around some sort of deception, which is disturbing in its own right. Dumbing down is one thing, but these commercials are way beyond the pale.

[aha]

Therewolfe said:
About that Paul Reiser/brother behind the counter commercial: I thought I was the only one who thought that! He looks like him, has the same delivery... either he's Reiser's brother, or they did some freaky casting.

Yes and if you listen he sounds just like paul Reiser too..watch the way they both move their mouths the same..


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"Ward, You're upsetting the beaver."
Barbara Billingsley

[SwimmingRiddles]

People, people, people! Two words: OLD NAVY. There is a reason Morgan Fairchild's career was over. Why revive it? And now with the stupid twins dating the two chick from that WB show? Ugh. Kills me.
That, and Xenical. Perscription fat blocker. Side effects include: gas with oily discharge, frequent bowel movements, an urgent need to have then, and (here's the kicker) an inability to control them. Um...no thanks.

There is nothing equal to the nauseating condition a commercial from the "pshychic friends network" will bring.

There is nothing equal to the nauseating condition a commercial from the "pshychic friends network" will bring.

[SeaDiver]

I second Swimming's dislike for the Xenical ad. It kind of makes me laugh, though. I get this mental picture of someone laughing it up at a party and showing off their new lean body when, all of a sudden, they realize they have just had a side effect!

[Jinx]

The "psychic friends network" is hysterical! I especially love the astrology-psychic:
Have you seen this ad?

Q: "Caller, what's your birthdate?"

Well, you're the psychic! You tell me!
Hey, they wouldn't lie to you, would they?

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A little knowledge is a dangerous thing!

[Interrobang!?]

I just remembered the commercials that really drive me nuts: the ones for MCI using the Looney Tunes characters and Michael Jordon. All of them -- every single one -- have been nothing but irritating. I think my main objection is the evisceration of any true Looney Tunes personality, but perhaps I'm just annoyed with the substitution of juvenile patter attempting to be wacky humor.

Regardless, I hate them.

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The categories are Authors, Chaos Vs. Superstring, and Rub-a-dub.
Magnolia, scr. Paul Thomas Anderson

[Rick Kitchen]

ecampus.com, where the frat boy belches the alphabet.

I don't like the one with the two girls staring at the lava lamp, either.

My current least fave commerical is the new one for Mrs. Butterworth, the one where adults are tying to get the syrup bottle to talk to them.

[Mojo]

What about that battery family from 4-5 years ago? I'm surprised that no one had mentioned them yet- there's probably some sort of unspoken pact that I'm not in on.

[Cooper]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned that Pepsi girl. Everyone of those commercials so stupid and sappy, I wouldn't be surprised if Robin Williams wrote them all.

[smarks]

those shannon sharpe - jason sehorn ads peddling charles schwab or whatever. if you've been watching the bowl games/playoffs the last few weeks, you'll know exactly what i mean.

The "Depends" commercials, and the "Tampax" ones, too. They all have a string attached.

[Gr8Kat]

I agree, the ecampus.com ads are terrible, and while the belcher is the worst, the one where the guy fries up his goldfish runs a close second.

The video game commercial with the guys with the swollen, misshapen thumbs also makes me want to vomit. Good lord, that's nasty :O And when the one guy's thumbs get pricked with a needle and splatter the cheerleader chick with green goo--blech! He much have had gangrene! Ewwww :P


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"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it," Jack Handy

The Kat House (http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/home.htm)
Join the FSH Webring (http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/fshwebring.htm)

[aha]

The ecampus add with the guy belching is absolutely awful. It would be mildly amusing if I were 18 and dead drunk in the college dorm but....no wait it wouldn't be amusing under any circumstance.

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"I think it speaks to the duality of man sir."
(private Joker in Full Metal Jacket)

[Zeb]

I've ranted it before and I'm sure I'll rant it again. I LOATHE all of the Mentos commercials. Something about those smarmy bastards makes me want to grab a chain saw.

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still trying to think of something witty to say here.

Ok, I've not owned a tv for about 15 years, but since friends, relatives, and the occasional roommate have yet to kill their televisions, I still have to put up with them.

Runners-up:

All so-called infomercials. 30-second spots are bad enough, but an ad that lasts for 30 minutes? Who watches them, anyway?

Any ad that pretends to be a video, featuring an original rock song. How DARE they try to sell products using Blitzkrieg Bop and Search And Destroy! Death to both Nike and Bud Blight.

The worst, though, was within the last month or two. I think this had something to do with telephones: Dawn Wells, her interviewer, and the audience, were all talking in the lyrics to the Gilligan's Island theme song. I immediately walked out the front door, telling my friend over my shoulder, "Ask me again why I don't own a fucking television!"


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"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." -- Mark Twain

[CatInHat]

We don't watch much TV anymore. Every time we do, I remember why we don't watch much TV anymore.

We were watching Frasier last night, and there was an ad for some prescription drug (I don't remember which one). First, they never said what the drug was for. Then, the voiceover starts on the side effects, one of which was abdominal pain. There was something about the way she said it, though, that made it sound desirable! Sure, abdominal pain is something I always seek out in my medication regimen. :eek:

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Never attribute to malice anything that can be attributed to stupidity.
-- Unknown

[Steelwhip]

Laxative ads are the worst!
What about the laxative ad with the two sisters. The one sister finds the premo laxative. "What a find", she exclaims. Man, it's like she just took the dump of her life. A pleasure dump. She half-assed scolds her sister for holding out on her.
How about this for a nauseating sequential line up:
Taco Bell and rat dog.
Pepto Bismol and the stretchy bellied people.
Beano gas.
The Exlax sister
Mr Whipple.

[egkelly]

I really hate the CISCO SYSTEMS ads-all those third-world zombie children mumbling..are you ready? Gowd-does CISCO have a competitor-if so, I'll buy from them!!

[Gazelle]

The Shane Company
Direct Diamond Importers and Direct Annoyance Exporters

They don't have a web site. If you, like me, are disgusted by these terrible radio ads starring Tom "Mr. Monotone" Shane, write your letter of protest to them at the following address:

The Shane Company
Attention: W.M. Stone
9200 East Mineral Avenue
Suite 200
Englewood, CO 80112

My letter is going in the mail today.

[aha]

What is William Shatner doing to us with those priceline.com commercials...
Somebody beam that poor bastard up...