Pregnancy & Parenting Stories

From what I understand, many of us here are parents. Of course, my 14-month old is smarter, cuter, and more well-behaved than any other baby in the whole world (not that I'm biased or anything) but I thought it would be fun to read about other's experiences with pregnancy and parenting, maybe just as a window for Prairie Rose to look through and see what she has in store.

I remember that shortly after Bowen was born, I still rubbed my belly absentmindedly, and was quite often shocked when I realized there was no baby in there. :) Also, after I started getting bigger, my belly served as a great aid in folding laundry (spread shirt over chest and belly, fold, repeat). After giving birth, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I couldn't keep the laundry item in question to stay on my body so I could get it folded.

Bowen is over a year now, still in diapers, realizing his full potential and capacity to get into EVERYTHING ... one would think that another baby would be the last thing I want. Nope, instead, I'm insanely jealous of all the pregnant women and women with newborns that I encounter.

I'll ramble later, after I've heard some of your stories/memories/anecdotes, etc.

Hugs!! --Chris

This is a good idea because I have wandered to other parenting type forums and have found the members there to be silly twits who posess no sense of humor and think that any time a baby cries for more than five seconds, it's child abuse. Women who have the deer caught in the head light mentality about parentin or women that have no business having children ( we know who you are even if you don't) and I are ships sinking in the night.

I have come to really respect and know the other posters here and look forward to their opinions...some one stop me...I'm gushing.

Anyways, my son is 13 months old and I still think there was a mix up at the hospital because he is so even tempered, biddable and sweet. (Did I mention smart too? He knows where all his body parts are...which I am sure will help him on the SAT's in the future.)

I had an easy pregnancy with the only complaint of my feet hurt all the time. The moment he came out and I was settled into my room at the hospital, I couldn't sit down and I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized that me feet didn't hurt for the first time in 9 months. The only thing I miss prepregnancy is the fact that after I finished breastfeeding ( 7months) My once firm, high and perky boobs slid down my chest. I am now smaller than I was, but lower. I now fully understand why the ladies in the National Geographic mag have tits down to their belly....

My only regret is that I didn't follow my instincts and start trying for another baby at the 5 month mark. Everyone told me to enjoy Carsten as long as I could.


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WE are all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps.

Yeah I know what you mean about those other parenting type forums. I just thought that this would be sort of cool for sharing funny stories or pregnancy gripes or what have you.

I'm trying to teach Bowen his body parts (eyes, nose, etc.) and colours, but he seems more interested in teething on my finger when I attempt to touch his nose or cheek to point out what/where those things are. He's got one hell of a bite, too. OW! He is trying to talk, he mimics the positioning of my mouth when I make noises at him or try to get him to say his name. Thus far, though, all we have is Mumum, Dadada, baba(which is bye-bye), and a different way of saying baba which, when said this way, means bottle (or cup, just as long as his milk or water is meant to go in it.) It's kind of frustrating, but I know he won't be speaking Bowenese forever, so I guess I'll just keep trying. Thankfully, we have come to a point where he realizes that bedtime or naptime mean exactly that, and as soon as his door is shut and I'm out of the room, he quiets down and goes to sleep rather than fussing or crying. We've never had a problem with him NOT going to bed, or needing a bottle or anything in order to go to sleep, but for a while he was just having too much fun and bedtime, you know, interrupted all that. (Evil wicked horrible witch mommy that I am.)
More later. Anyone else have anything to say?

Thanks ChrisCTP and Shirley! It's always fun to hear about the good stuff ahead (and even the not-so-good)- it keeps me from getting depressed about Christopher not being here yet.

We had a false alarm yesterday and I feel like an idiot for going to the hospital... I thought my bag of waters had sprung a small leak and wanted to get it checked out. No luck. Apparently there is a lot of trickling going on in the last few weeks, nothing to get excited over (I lost my "cork" last week and got somewhat hopeful, too..) Oh well. Didn't help that my midwife seemed a little irritated about me coming in, saying that I should've called first. I DID! If her the answering service doesn't relay messages, it shouldn't be considered my fault. Arrgh.

Off to play volleyball (sans diving for the ball)

PR

Prairie, don't worry about feeling like an idiot with going to the hospital or calling your doctor for every little ache and pain. If you are anxious or concerned about something, it is their job to help you. There isn't a question that the staff hasn't seen and an emotion they haven't witnessed. You will find that the nurses at the hospital will be the closest thing to angels you will encounter on this planet. They will be with you every step of the way and help you out. If you find that you have a nurse that you just don't like, have your hubby get you a new one. (Have him go to the nurses desk and request a switch.) They are use to it.

Also, this is a biggie...you're doctor will not show up until you start pushing or just moments before. I know, it is a bit of a shock that they don't greet you at the door of the hospital with a warm hug and a comforting smile, but they just make it in time to play catcher and charge your insurance company. I had them delay my urge to push by three hours because I wanted my doctor there. ( I was given something to slow down the contractions.) Next time, I'll let a resident or a nurse play catch fer crying out loud.

Another big shock is after all the hoopla of "push push push, you can do it.." and your little bundle comes out is after the umbilical cord is cut they scoop your little grub (sorry but all babies look like grubs at birth) over to an isolette to do the apgar and eye drops and cleaning them up. You are left there, feet in the "stirrups" (its' the flat foot rests) while the doctor sews you up (95 percent of N. American women do) . EVERYONE, your husband, the nursing staff, and anyone else in attendance for this miraculous event ( 60 minutes, perhaps) will be over at the isolette, making you feel like yesterday's news with their backs to you while waiting for your little tax exemption to do something spectacular.

BTW, the baby's first poops, meconium, are sticky and have the consistance of tar. By the time you get out of the hospital, it will be out of their system.

If you need advice or have any questions, Chris and I are more than happy to share our knowledge.

Prairie, don't worry about feeling like an idiot with going to the hospital or calling your doctor for every little ache and pain.

I went to the hospital five or six times thinking I was in labour. Five or six times, they sent me home. I was induced two weeks past my due date. At the hospital I used, they had "birthing rooms" which were nice cozy places to have a baby, provided there was no problem. They also had a scary room, loaded with fluorescents and chrome, for the women who needed c-sections or breech babies or whatever. I started off in a birthing room at 7 a.m., becoming increasingly stoned from the combination of Pitosin (inducement aid) and Sta-nol (painkiller)and went from 6 cm. to 10 cm. in one contraction at about 5:10 p.m. They would NOT let me push, they kept trying to get me to stop, but I couldn't help it, you know, my BODY was pushing. Anyway, back to the point... the doctors were changing shifts, so one was one the way out while the other was on the way up, and my body wouldn't stop involuntarily pushing. To top it all off, Bowen pooped while he was inside me so I HAD to be moved to the scary room so they could vacuum him out directly after delivery. Of course, I needed to move from the bed to the rolling thing to go from one room to the other which necessitated instructions from the nurses like "OK, settle down, breathe IN (suck) OUT (blow), now ROLL OVER!! (Pardon? I'm in LABOUR here you imbecile!) So anyway, I somehow managed to get on to the roller thing and on to my new super uncomfortable metal bed in the scary room where:
PUSH ONE: Nothing.
PUSH TWO: Baby crowned.
PUSH THREE: We had a head.
PUSH FOUR: We had a baby.

Another big shock is after all the hoopla of "push push push, you can do it.." and your little bundle comes out is after the umbilical cord is cut they scoop your little grub (sorry but all babies look like grubs at birth) over to an isolette to do the apgar and eye drops and cleaning them up. You are left there, feet in the "stirrups" (its' the flat foot rests) while the doctor sews you up (95 percent of N. American women do) . EVERYONE, your husband, the nursing staff, and anyone else in attendance for this miraculous event

The involutary pushing and subsequent actual delivery caused me to tear, so while I was being sewn up and my mom, husband and the nurses were attending to him I kept myself busy by alternately screaming to the doctor "I can feel that" meaning "Somebody give me more drugs" and shouting things like "Is he ok? Is he cute? What the hell is taking so long?"

Eventually they handed my angelic little piece of cuteness over to me, and he was so quiet and wide-eyed... oh wow, PR, it just can't be explained... Labouring was a definite pain in the ass (figuratively speaking) but I can't wait to do it again.

If you need advice or have any questions, Chris and I are more than happy to share our knowledge.

Yup.

Maybe we should start our own forum. It's nice to see Mommies with brains are out there. I have encountered only a few in real life as most parents who name their children after states/indian tribes/trucks usually ingested lead pain as a child.

I have no children, but I've been thinking about it. Shirley, I'm with you - the astounding masses of idiotic parents have actually made me think twice about whether or not I want kids. I'd love to hear more stories about how one can both have a child, and retain the bulk of one's IQ points.

I understand parenting can be hard, but is it really necessary to give up one's life totally in order to raise good children? Seems to me my parents not only raised wonderful kids (!) but managed to have a life as well. Tell me I'm not wrong here, please!

There is a quote that I just came across that sums up the whole thing in a nutshell:

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. - M. Levine.

In other words, you have to be ready for a lot of practice. Or as I look as it, parenting is a lot like gardening. Just when you think you have your garden perfect, another weed (problem) pops up.

It's humbling but it is worth it.. Athena and Prairie and any other women considering and women on the verge of mommyhood, the best thing you and your hubby can do for yourself and your child is READ everything on parenting. There are a ton of magazines with a ton of opinions of how to raise little Bobby and Betty. One will make sense to you and you can use it as your guide. You will never completely stick to it because children, like dogs, have a way of doing their own thing without consulting you.

Also, listen to other parents. Ask questions. (What was the one thing that threw you for a loop the first couple of months home from the hospital? What is the best part so far about parenting? What is the worst? How do you calm a crying baby? What was one baby item you HAD to have that after the fact you realize it was totally and completely worthless?)

Everyone has a different story and new parents love to give advice. They want to share their trials by fire ( I know I do, but only if I am asked. I've bite my tongue off to keep myself from being a "typical" mom with horror stories.) Store this advice from friends, relatives and , this the best place to get it, the ladies in front and behind you at the check out with a cart load of kids, in the file cabinet in the back of your mind. Some of it you will use one day, some of it you won't , but yo may share it with a friend one day. Either way, you will be prepared which is more than most mothers seem to be these days.

Also, if you can afford it, stay home with your child/ren for as long as you can. I've seen day care kids and I've seen stay at home kids. I can tell a difference hands down. Day Care Kids are more hyper and more..well..brutish.. How can two or three Day Care Providers ( GAWD, I hate that term, why not call them Day Mommies?) effective police 10-15 children all day. It would be like keeping track of a bunch of puppies. Sure, Day Care kids get the interaction with other children, they also get more earaches and visits to the doctors.

I am very biased on this subject and I do know that some people cannot afford to give up an income to live. I gave up my job and have no regrets. Now all I wonder is what in the hell I did with my income for four years before having a child? I musta had some fun pissing it away. We don't have the extra cash, but our bills are getting paid and the spending is only on groceries pretty much.

I would expound further on this, but my loving child is issuing his nightly protest over the lack luster service in this here establishment. (its bed time...whooo hooo)

As far as not seeing the doctor until the actual pushing stage goes, hopefully I won't see a doctor at all (unless something goes wrong). UNMC patients that are "low-risk" have the option of using the nurse-midwives for prenatal care and delivery. They DO meet you at the hospital and stay with you the whole time. My friends that have had OBs and the midwives say that the midwives win hands down if you want an unmedicated labor.

I've been reading a TON of books on pregnancy, birth, and child care. And having a mom and aunt who are OB nurses themselves helps greatly (they will be with us during the event).

I agree with the earlier post about child care. Unfortunately, I need to go back to work. But I have a family friend (with a 1 year old son) that will be his caretaker while hubby and I are at work and I'm confident that Christopher will be loved and well cared for. Maybe we can rework things so I can stay home- but it won't be right now. :(

I'm worried that I'm going to somehow screw things up. My mom tells me this is normal thinking for right now and that I know more than I think. I've had nightmares about giving him his first bath in that baby tub.

PR

I see it's mostly women and parenting being discussed.We males have to do some work too.For instance, you have to train yourself to sleep through that baby's crying.Took several weeks to learn.

Very cute, Sunbear. My husband is an expert at sleeping through everything, if you need any tips, ask Neobican.

I applaud some daycares, like Montessori and the others that are actually learning environments, rather than kiddie kennels, and I really feel the pull between working and staying home. Fortunately, our schedules are such that we don't need to use a daycare, but if we ever did, I'd rather use one of those, or even better, employ someone to watch Bowen in our house, where he's familiar with everything, at least till he's a little older and can TELL me what sorts of things happen at a daycare. (i.e., are the teachers nice or do they yell a lot, how do they punish him when he acts up, etc.)

PR: Don't worry about bath time, just know that you don't need much water at all (about an inch) and it doesn't need to be any hotter than lukewarm.

Athena, I think that parenting has boosted my IQ. I now know all the words to the theme songs for Teletubbies, Theodore Tugboat, Puzzle Place, and Kratz' Creatures. In addition, I discovered early on that laying in the middle of the living room floor, staring at the ceiling is extremely therapeutic, and once Bowen started walking, I was educated in all sorts of things like: the length of screaming is directly related to the intensity of the situation that caused it. For instance, the length of the "silent scream" before the actual vocal scream is longer (and the vocal louder) when the child crashes face first into the coffee table, than it is when he takes a tumble down the stairs. And remember "things in motion tend to stay in motion" and "things at rest tend to stay at rest"? A coffee table incident is a good reminder that things in motion come to a sudden stop when confronted by things at rest. So you see, parenting has been a revisited education in music, philosophy, and science.

Shirley, how do you suggest going about starting our own forum for this sort of thing? Do you mean outside of SD, or within it as a category?

I'm really loving this thread. I'm so glad I thought of it!

Hugs!
Chris

Sunbear....hah hah hah. You and my hubby took the same Daddy Classes. I've trained him, however, to wake up after the first good hard shove to the rump and tend the wailing Prince in the other room.

All kidding aside, we've come a long way. I spend most of my spare time somewhere near the kids. When I was a kid, I think my dad spent probably two hours a weekend actually doing anything with the family, the rest of the time he was golfing or bowling.

sunbear said:I see it's mostly women and parenting being discussed.We males have to do some work too.For instance, you have to train yourself to sleep through that baby's crying.Took several weeks to learn.
Ha!

My wife is an incredibly sound sleeper. As the birth of our first neared, everybody told her, "Oh, you'll wake up as soon as the baby cries." Never happened.

For our first, I always had to wake her to go feed him. Then, when we switched to formula, it wasn't worth the effort to get her out of bed and I took almost every night feeding. For the second, we tried taking turns, but half the time it was again more effort to get her moving than it was for me to just do it myself.

Thankfully, we're now into the "sleeps through the night" phase and there's no more of that. But when the first gets up (in the middle of the night for some reason or in the morning), he doesn't even bother to try to wake my wife. He just comes on over to my side of the bed, because he knows I'll get up and she won't.

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"I don't believe in destiny or the guiding hand of fate
I don't believe in forever or love as a mystical state
I don't believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above" -- Neil Peart, RUSH, "Ghost of a Chance"

This is a bad parenting story! Warning- don't keep reading if bad parenting upsets you-

TAMPA, Fla. (APBNews.com) -- A manhunt continued today for a cross-dressing kidnapper who grabbed an 8-year-old girl by the neck and pulled her, kicking and screaming, from her mother's parked vehicle outside of a Tampa health food store.

The girl was released about an hour later several miles away and taken by police to Tampa General Hospital, where an exam confirmed that she had been molested.

The girl's mother had left the youngster locked inside the family's Toyota 4-Runner along with her 20-month-old brother. The engine was left running so that the air conditioning could cool the vehicle while she shopped inside the Nature's Harvest Market in the city center about 4:45 p.m. Saturday.
<<snip>>

The witness immediately called police, who arrived before the mother emerged from the store.

The mother will not be charged with leaving her children alone in the parked car, police said.

The mother, tears streaming down her face, held an impromptu news conference later, thanking police and warning parents to "always take your children inside a store with you, even if you are only going in for a minute. I couldn't have gone on with my life if this had turned out differently."

Wow- I live in a nice, friendly small town and people STILL don't leave their kids in their cars unattended...what are your thoughts about this? I thought it was strange that the police arrived and the mother still had not even come out of the store yet...

Chris, since I am technologically impaired, it would have to be within SD for right now. If anyone knows the how-to stuff for morons like me to set up a website and maintain it, I will greatly appreciate all info.

Prairie, you sound like you are waaaay ahead of the game with having family in the OB world and reading the books! You will do great!

Oh, BTW, just because I am a stay at home mom...I hate that term. Please, refer to me as a domestic tyrant... doesn't mean I have a spotless house, four course meals and a Martha Stewart inpired decorating scheme. My house is spotted, courtesy of the dog during her puppy days; the husband and tar on his work boots; me, for infractions to numerous to mention; and the baby and his amazing regurgiation ways.

The rule for meal time is: If you are hungry, you better fix yourself something or starve. If I could only get the baby to eat kibbles and bites, it would shave a ton in yogurt and cheese not only off the budget but the walls.

And as for Martha Stewart, she needs to be catapulted onto some sharp spears.

Shirley, check out www.boardhost.com. They have message boards you can set up and use.

For all of you preggos out there who are tired of hearing those "I was in labor for 47 hours!" stories, I have an anti-horror story.

When my wife was pregnant with our first child, I was working approximately 50 miles (75 minutes) from home. It was two weeks before the due date, we hadn't finnished LaMas (sp?) yet, and a couple of days before, the doctor had told my wife to stop working. I go into work as usual. About 9:30, Sharon calls. She's been feeling pains, but can't get ahold of the doctor yet. We decide that we'll wait until the doctor calls her back. He finally gets back to her about 10:15, says, yes, it is labor and he was kind of expecting it (I wish he would have told us it could be any day!). Doctor says it should be 6-8 hours, so sit back, relax, and enjoy it (his words!), and don't worry until the contractions are 5 minutes apart. The wife calls me back. I reach into the closet, grab a black trench coat, and left. Was half way to my car before I realized it was the wrong damn coat. Went back, got my coat. Took off.

It took me less than 45 minutes to get home. It's now 11:45. I get home, Sharon is lying on the bed in a fetal position. Contractions are 5 minutes apart. I call the hospital and tell them we're leaving.

It's half an hour to get to the hospital. I'm flying low to the ground. We turn on the final road to the hospital (2 miles left). Sharon screams "I WANT TO PUSH!" I scream right back "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PUSH!" There is a center turn-lane in the road. That became my lane. Trafic lights became yield signs. We get to the hospital at 12:15. Shar is rushed upstairs. The nurse says she's 8 centimeters dialated. The nurse lied. She was fully dialated, ready to go. The nurse wouldn't let her push until the doctor got there. When we called the hospital, they got ahold of him. He was eating lunch at his country club. The nurse hear his voice in the hallway, and says "OK, next contraction, push!". 12:46, Alex was born. 3 1/2 hours, start to finish. People ask me if I was there, I say that Sharon almost wasn't there.

By the way, we are expecting our third now. Doctor says Friday is Shar's last day at work.

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Dan Quayle

Oh, and a helpful hint for all first-time expectant fathers out there. I guess that the hormones in the pregnant female make her nails grow quickly and strong. One night, before the birth, while she is sleeping, CUT THEM OFF! I still have scars on my palms from Alex's birth, and he just turned 7!

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Dan Quayle

I wouldn't brag too much about those scars.I had to watch 2 C sections.It takes a little healing. Sometimes you appreciate not being a woman.

{{{ Alex was born. 3 1/2 hours, start to finish. People ask me if I was there, I say that Sharon almost wasn't there. }} PTVroman

3 1/2 hours...that's nothing. With my last child, my water had broke at about 7 p.m., and I decided to go into the hospital right away, regardless of the fact that I wasn't having any contractions yet. My contractions started at about 9 p.m., and he was born at 9:36 (that's two and a half hours from start to finish). BTW, his name is Alex too :)

Shadowfox

My husband is an expert at sleeping through everything, if you need any tips, ask Neobican.

Its a gift.

Had more "false labor" today- it woke me up from a nap but it went away after I got up to pee. As soon as I have "regular" contractions Mom and Aunt Gail want me to go to the hospital, since most of our family have REALLY short labors and want me to give birth at UNMC, not in the back of my new Chevy (a sentiment I agree with totally..)My mother in law wants it to be born Friday (her birthday). Just as long as it's soon...

Thanks for all the wonderfully funny stories and support so far. You all are terrific!

Zette- hope you "catch"! Don't necessarily worry if the test doesn't come up pink right away. The home test and dr. test was actually wrong in October (one missed period) but the pregnancy was found in November. I was SURE I had mono since I felt so sleepy and groggy. Went in for a mono test only to find out I was pregnant! :)

Thanks again everyone!

PR

Thanks for all the great funny stories so far.

Hi all,
My husband and I are just now trying to get pregnant (Pray for me- I'm ovulating!) I appreciate any and all pregnancy/parenting advice. (Except horror stories..I don't think anyone needs those). Hopefully I'll be posting some "good news" on here soon!

I personally think that there should be some kind of Merit Badge system to be given for women after they've given birth. One badge could have a stomach with a ziplock across it to indicate a C-Section. Another could have a number on it indicating how much weight was put on during pregnancy. One could be for each child born with their dates on it and with what husband and who has custody. Another, and this is the biggie, indicating how many hours of labor...etc. It could be worn on a sash around the new momma whenever she wants and it would either generate conversation " " Ohh I see you have the " I gave birth in an elevator badge" or give someone fair warning, " Oh oh, a 92 hour labor badge, she's a person to avoid..."

Athena, thanks for the websight. I shall look into it.

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WE are all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps.

If/When I get this thing up and running, I need a clever name for it. Something that indicates we are intelligent parents who do not buy beanie babies or other marketing scams.

Pragmatic Parent?

Praire, don't worry too much about the baby's bath stuff. A baby really only sleeps, eats and poops and doesn't get all that dirty except the lint they pick up in the fat rings of their necks. I found a handy trick for bathing was taking an empty dish washing soap container ( Palmolive or whatever as an example) and fill it with warm water. Soap up the baby and the squeeze the warm water all over them for a quick and gentle rinse. It is especially effective in getting between the folds of fat and the genitalia area.

When the baby can hold up his head on his own, I highly recommend the shower scene. It is a fast way to scrub down a gooey sticky child. The sooner you get them use to the shower, the easier bathtime will be in the future.

When all else fails, stick them on the roof of the car and go through the local car wash :) *hey , it's touchless....*

Shirley said:Another could have a number on it indicating how much weight was put on during pregnancy.
Another example of my wife going the opposite way. With both of ours, she lost weight (after the baby was born, that is). They were the best diet plan she's ever been on. (Well, ok, she actually was on a diet with the second, due to minor gestational diabetes.)

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"I don't believe in destiny or the guiding hand of fate
I don't believe in forever or love as a mystical state
I don't believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above" -- Neil Peart, RUSH, "Ghost of a Chance"

ShirleyU: I gave up on resisting Beaniebabies.Actually, I think it's ok that my son has an interest outside of Gameboy that leads to interaction with both boys and girls at school. And let's face it, everybody goes thru a collecting phase at some point.

Hmm, I don't know about the weight merit badge Shirley. Not all of us want to admit publicly how much weight we've gained during the pregnancy. (Ok, I've gained 21 lbs, but I was a few pounds overweight to begin with..)

The shower thing sounds like a good idea. My sister says its the only way her twins will consent to get clean (without howling like banshees). She takes one into the shower with her, and her hubby takes the other in with him. I'd be worried about dropping them since I hear wet babies are pretty slippery, but they say it isn't a problem.

Did anyone else here have big problems with swelling? My normally size 6-1/2 feet are now 9-1/2! Toxemia isn't an issue (they check me religiously and my b.p. is fine), but how long will it take postpartum for the swelling to subside? I guess if that's my biggest gripe so far I should count my blessings, but they look so awful...

PR

Prairie Rose said:The shower thing sounds like a good idea. My sister says its the only way her twins will consent to get clean (without howling like banshees). She takes one into the shower with her, and her hubby takes the other in with him. I'd be worried about dropping them since I hear wet babies are pretty slippery, but they say it isn't a problem.
Yes, a wet (and soapy) baby is pretty slippery. I took one of mine into the shower with me when we were visiting relatives and didn't have much other choice. I hate to admit it, but I almost dropped him. I will not ever do it again. (He was under a year old at the time.) For a while he hated baths, but we just sat him down in the little bath ring seat and gave him one, through all the yelling and thrashing. Eventually, he just decided he liked 'em (very strange when it happened).

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"I don't believe in destiny or the guiding hand of fate
I don't believe in forever or love as a mystical state
I don't believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above" -- Neil Peart, RUSH, "Ghost of a Chance"

As we embark on our attempt at becoming parents, my husband thought it nessecary to prepare me. To that end, the other night we watched "Dennis the Menace". (Absolutely hilarious). Why? Because HIS mother had seen it and told me that he was EXACTLY like Dennis when he was a kid...Yikes!
Cute kid story..When my husband was about 4, he was cutting out pictures from a magazine and putting them in an envelope for the mailman, convinced that was the way to "mail order" something. His mother retreived the envelope and tried to explain that it wouldn't work, and upon opening it found pictures of a motorcycle, a firetruck, a train set and a pretty lady. She asked about the pretty lady, and sure enough little Al replied "I'm sending away for a NEW MOMMY...a NICE one!". She thought it was funny...I told him if that happened to me I would have cried for a month..at least!

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"Were you out on the lake today kissing your brain?"- The Man with Two Brains

PR, regarding your swollen feet, an excerpt from What To Expect When You're Expecting:

EDEMA (SWELLING) OF THE ANKLES AND FEET

Any degree of edema (swelling due to excessive accumulation of fluids in the tissues) was once considered a potential danger sign in pregnancy. Now doctores recognize that mild edema is related to the normal and necessary increase in body fluids in pregnancy. Some swelling of the ankles and legs, without accompanying symptoms to suggee development of preeclampsia, is considered completely normal. in fact, 75% of women develop such edema at some point in their pregnancies. It's particularly common late in the day, in warm weather, or after standing or sitting for a period of time. Most women find that much of the swelling disappears overnight--after several hours spent lying down. Generally, edema is nothing but a little uncomfortable. To ease the discomfort, elevate your legs or lie down when you can, preferably on your left side; wear comfortable shoes or slippers; avoid elastic-top socks or stockings....Help your system to flush out waste products by drinking at least eight to ten 8-ounce glasses of liquid a day. Paradoxically, drinking even greater amounts of liquids--up to a gallon a day--helps many women avoid excess water retention....Though it's no longer believed that salt restriction is wise during a normal pregnancy (salt may be restricted for some women with high blood pressure), excessive salt intake isn't any smarter and could increase excess fluid retention. If your hands and/or face become puffy, or if edema persists for more than 24 hours at a time, you should notify your doctor.


I had edema BIG & BAD throughout the last half of my pregnancy. It sucks, I know how you feel. Thankfully, your midwife says you're not toxemic or preeclamptic, so it's little more than a nuisance and it will go away as soon as Christopher makes his entrance (or rather, his exit :))

Announceth Zette:
Hi all,
My husband and I are just now trying to get pregnant (Pray for me- I'm ovulating!)

Congratulations, and good luck! *Trying* to get pregnant never worked for anyone I know, we all seemed to get pregnant when finances were in the crapper, or a decision had been made to put any more conception attempts off for another six months. If you are one of the lucky few who can actually conceive a baby on purpose, I admire, respect and worship you. Some tips for upping your chances: Don't drink, don't smoke. Eat well and exercise... yeah, yeah, that's the cruddy part. You already know the good part, which is, of course, constant shagging. (Yes, I adore Austin Powers!)

I wouldn't advise giving a baby a shower...tried it and yes my daughter was slippery. Then I tried it when she was just walking...bad idea...they can't balance on a slippery shower floor. I think I finally had success when Sandy was 3 and now she loves taking a shower. It's great to use one of those waterpik shower heads...the only way I can be sure I get all the shampoo out of her hair.

------------------
--Gail
What if the Hokey-Pokey is really what it's all about?

My husband and I are just now trying to get pregnant (Pray for me- I'm ovulating!)

Chris:Then you should have a better chance of getting pregnant than your husband.

Chris and Zette, besides being financially broke, the best way to get pregnant is to make big plans. Go back to college, work on your masters, home renovation, big trip of a life time, get a new job. All of these have happened to people I know and poof, they became pregnant. If all else fails, move into a trailer park.

Hee hee....I can relate on the "not trying to get pregnant" thing! My husband and I went through a miscarriage last summer, and then a month later found out my sister (unwed at the time) was pregnant with twins. So we decided to postpone the whole baby-trying concept until she had the girls. I figured one pregnant daughter was enough for my mom to deal with! (My sister and the girls'father married soon after they found out, as they were already engaged and planning to try the next year. They just got a jump-start, and are doing wonderfully. Happy healthy twins, and my sister and brother in law are terrific parents!).

So you can imagine my surprise when I found out in November that I was pregnant. I told my sister after I told Ken and joked about "so, how do I tell Mom?". She was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, since she knew we planned to start our family. She just didn't think my younger sister would beat me to it. :)

Had more false labor last night. I've stopped getting my hopes up when it happens.

PR

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My husband and I are just now trying to get pregnant (Pray for me- I'm ovulating!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Chris:Then you should have a better chance of getting pregnant than your husband.

Silly Sunbear... although I did get a giggle out of that, it's not me who's trying to conceive, it's Zette!

PR, I happen to have a friend who is a Doula, and when I was having problems with false labour, she said that, in all actuality, it should be considered EARLY labour. Evidently, the time you spend in EL is time you knock off your actual PRODUCTIVE labour. For the edema, she suggests a warm soak in the tub, as deep in as you can get, because the weight from the water on your body will push the fluid back into the muscles where it belongs, also, elevate the foot of your bed about an inch or so, and lie on your left side as often as possible. For both the edema and the early labour, stop using caffiene (soda, coffee, most teas, chocolate), cut sugar as much as you possibly can, drink 64 oz of fluid or more everyday as not enough fluid is likely to be contributing to your early labour. The caffiene and sugar is likely to trigger oxytosin, the hormone that causes contractions (and orgasms, although I'd rather have an orgasm than a contraction), but the baby's hormone (can't recall the actual name of which) has to act alongside the oxytosin to trigger progressive contractions and productive labour. Unfortunately, the baby's hormone can cause you to be in labour, but your oxytosin by itself won't do anything for the baby's hormone and thus you have: early labour. She stresses to PUSH FLUIDS for like 48 hours; water, red raspberry leaf tea or most herbal tea, milk, any thing without a lot of sugar (even diet soda is bad) and completely caffeine free. It's almost over.

If I drink any more damn water per day I'll never get out of the bathroom, or have to resort to wearing Depends to do errands outside the house. I drink at least 64 oz, more like 90 or so. The midwife told me the same thing about getting into some water. I go for an hourlong swim down the street each day as well as my usual bathtub floating. Doesn't seem to help much with the swelling but feels great.

I asked my mom if she had this early labor stuff. She didn't remember having any but said once she was in labor it went pretty quick (6 hrs with me, 4 with my sister.)

It sure would be nice to have him tomorrow- it's my mother in law's birthday.

PR

For each of my three pregnancies, by the time I reached the ninth month, the only thing I would eat for breakfast was Ralph's brand (local grocery store) chocolate chip ice cream.

-Melin

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I'm a woman phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me
(Maya Angelou)

Chocolate anything for breakfast....ewww. I developed a distaste for chocolate and coffee first trimester that never completely went away. Odd considering they're two of my favorite vices.

I *really* would like some bacon at breakfast, but the sodium would make things worse. So I've been sticking to oatmeal and fruit...oh well.

PR

I go for an hourlong swim down the street each day..

Cool, PR! I didn't know they had canals in NE!

My wife had constant nausea throughout each of her pregnancies. It got so bad that when she would ask me to bring her some ice cream (or cake, or pickles, or whatever she happened to be craving), I would ask "Do you want to eat it, or should I dumo it directly in the toilet?". That's me, always trying to be helpful ;)

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The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

Ok, ok, what I meant to say was that I've been swimming at the pool down the street from my house. But if we get much more rainfall this summer, we could theoretically have canals around here... :)

PR

My wife had constant nausea throughout each of her pregnancies. It got so bad that when she would ask me to bring her some ice cream (or cake, or pickles, or whatever she happened to be craving), I would ask "Do you want to eat it, or should I dumo it directly in the toilet?". That's me, always trying to be helpful


I had the same problem with my last two pregnancies...severe morning, noon and night sickness that lasted the entire nine months. I was hospitalized several times during each pregnancy in order to be rehydrated with IV fluids because I couldn't even hold down water. It got to the point where I was literally eating my meals while sitting on the bathroom counter, because I knew that I was going to be sick within minutes anyways, so I might as well be close to the toilet.

Okay, so maybe that was a little more information than you really wanted....

Shadowfox

Wow, Shadowfox! You have my sympathy on that! I was lucky enough not to get queasy (other than when smelling coffee or chocolate) and never once did throw up. But the pregnancy gods are having a fun time with me now...

If you're squeamish, stop reading here! I ended up at the hospital today because I was *sure* my water had broken. I got up to go to the bathroom and felt a splat, followed by dribbles. So after a call to the midwife we went to the hospital. Even had some pretty good contractions. Turns out there's a clear thin (egg-white) mucus that's normal at this stage. I was sent home. :( I haven't read anything about this or heard about it. I feel like such an idiot.
This time I'm not leaving for the hospital until I'm in *hard* labor. When I go in again, I'm walking out of there with a baby in my arms, dammit.

PR

{{For all of you preggos out there who are tired of hearing those "I was in labor for 47 hours!" stories}}

Ha! 47? Mine was 52. Ouch.

To Prairie and her 21 lbs... bite me. I gained 60 lbs by my 7th month and am now a nice, even 100 lbs more than my pre-pregnancy weight.

To read my birth story, check out
http://fathom.org/opalcat/birth.html
See the fruits of my labor:
http://fathom.org/opalcat/NickyBoober.adp

My son will be 4 in September... I want another but we're waiting til Nicky is in "real" school... like 5 or 6. (He goes to preschool 2 days a week right now)

When I was pregnant, we lived in Tucson, and giving birth in mid September means that I was big and huge during the awful desert summer months. I have two things to say to people who say "but it's a dry heat":
1) it isn't always a dry heat. The rainy season in AZ is July and August
2) Watch the weather channel. You'll hear that "heat index" stuff that takes the humidity into account... they'll tell you that your 87 degree day feels like 103. Whoop-dee-doo. Try a for-real 114 degree day (very common) and tell me how your "feels like 103" is somehow worse, again?

Dry heat is more dangerous, too.

Oh, and in the desert, poor folks like us have swamp coolers, not air conditioners. In short, they suck. WOrse than that, the first hint of moisture in the air, and they don't work at all. Worse event than that, they blow hot, wet, smelly air though your house. I remember looking at our indoor/outdoor thermometer one day, I remember seeing the outdoor temp: 111... indoor temp: 103.
If you've been pregnant you know that you turn into an oven. You're hot in 40 degree weather. Imagine 103 being the coolest you could make your house.
So you'd go to take a cold shower, but the ground water was too warm. You'd fill a tub with "cold" water and let it sit for a few hours to cool down.

I am very glad that my next pregnancy won't take place in the desert (unless something very very unexpected happens between now and then).

------------------
&gt;^,,^&lt;
"Cluemobile? You've got a pickup..."
OpalCat's site: http://fathom.org/opalcat
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions (http://fathom.org/teemingmillions)

All these stories remind me of the months of hell before the birth. Your wife goes through all this stuff you have no idea how to relate to and no advice, either. There isn't much in your experience you can draw on. You keep hearing just about anything is "normal".
So now we have two kids and can look back on this as mostly stuff you can forget. Until someone reminds you.
I bet by the time you have grandkids, you won't be much help with your advice. And if it's your daughter in law, you should keep your advice to yourself and just be around to help.Like stay with the older kid etc.

OpalCat, I wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad with my weight gain. And it's up by 23 lbs now, and will continue to rise unless I can put down the damn peanut m&m's. I don't know why I'm craving them- I've never liked them before! And I was hardly svelte before I got pregnant- I was a size 16!

When we leave next time I plan to not tell my mom and sister. My aunt (doula) will be told and my friend that's watching Sox, who has instructions to lie to everyone and say we went out. My mom means well but she really tried to modify my birth plan, basically pushed my hubby aside and took over, and I was in no emotional or physical shape to argue. I figure I'll call afterward and tell her that it went so damn fast that I didn't have time or energy to call. Maybe she'll be pissed at me. Hopefully she'll be so distracted by her new grandson's cuteness that she won't....

PR

Prairie, 23 pounds...in the words of Opal..bite me...I put on 40. One of my 2 ob/gyns (the guy and a prick) wanted to put me on a gestational diabetes diet because I was getting too fat. I looked at him and said, " Hello, we've just gone thru Xmas and New Years AND I've been constipated for a week. I'm not going on your diet. There's nothing in it that allows me my comfort foods." He countered with " It will be harder for me to lose the weight after the baby is born." and my response was, " That is not your problem, now is it?"

I chucked the diet away (the nurses loved me for standing up to this Dr., btw) went home,, two days later I had the most magnificent poop in my life) stepped on the scale and was eight pounds lighter. I lost all the weight by the post 3 month mark and by the 7 month mark was 10 pounds lighter than pre-preggo weight.

I met a woman who's mother only gained 6 pounds when she was pregnant and she was only something like 100 pounds to start with. That wasn't safe and her daughter (now 45 years old) was an dingbat of the highest order. When she told me that story, other coworkers all said (behind her back) that it explained everything about Nancy. And it did.

I am working on a home page, but I've had some tech problems on my end with my phone lines so bear with me...

So when are you due, anyway, Prairie?

[ChrisCTP]

Well, it's been a good six weeks since this thread was at the top, but I have some great news to add to it!

My best friend Robin delivered her fourth child this morning! It is a girl, and she is 6 lb., 16 oz. and 20.25 inches long. A nice healthy set of lungs, plenty of dark hair and SUPERLONG finger and toenails. Since I didn't really get to see my own boy being born (glasses across the room, doctor's head blocking mirror) she let me be there for the birth. I have to say it was the most wonderful, disgusting, gross and beautiful thing I've ever seen. I was at the hospital at 5:00 this morning and stayed with her till about 12:15 this afternoon. It was her longest labour and shortest delivery of all her kids. I feel so fortunate to have been able to witness it.

A little bit of cool: Today is not only the new baby's birthday, it's my husband's birthday, too!

A little more cool: They haven't decided on a middle name yet, but the girl's first name is Zoe. Those of you who've read the "Trendy Kid's Names" thread will know that I love that name because it means "life".

It's a lovely day to be born.

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Veni, Vidi, Visa ... I came, I saw, I bought.

[Persephone]

Congrats, Chris!

I used to post alot on the old SDMB, but took a break. Just came to this one recently, and just found this thread today. So nice to hear other normal people sharing their stories.

I'm expecting a boy in October. I've given birth twice already. Never had a lick of morning sickness with the first two. This one I've been queasy quite a bit, and even thrown up a few times. Gained 53 pounds first time, 25 with the second, and I'm currently at 40 pounds with this one. Also having back trouble (never had that before), and, shall we politely say, bladder trouble. Sigh.

My first two were girls. I think the new problems I'm having are due to the fact tht this one is a boy--testosterone poisoning. :) My biggest problem, though, is this--my butt. It is growing faster than my belly. It's gotten so enormous that when I asked my husband if it was just my imagination or was my butt really getting positively huge, he risked his life by saying "well, actually, it has changed a bit--but you're pregnant, honey, it's okay."

Thanks for the laughs in this thread, folks! Sure did need 'em...and congrats again, Chris!

[ebeth]

I hope this post only goes in once...

I have 2 girls, ages 4 and 2 (in two weeks she'll be 2...close enough). I have many horror and wonder stories about pregnancy and parenting.

Let's see...first labour, start to finish, exactly 72 hours, 4 minutes...NO tearing or stitching of any kind, either time...NO morning sickness (except a slight queasiness at 4:30 pm for 3 weeks--you could set your watch by me)...a daughter whose first words were signs--and she was only 5 months old...etc, etc.

As for staying home with your children...go for it, if you can. I'm sorry. I love my girls dearly, but if I'd had to stay home full time with a newborn and a 2 1/2 year old, one of us would have been dead within weeks. I CANNOT survive without grownups to talk to, and my time away from my kids makes me appreciate my time with them even more. My husband works nights, I work days, and we have a sitter come in about 3 mornings a week to watch the kids while my husband sleeps. SOMEONE we love and trust is with our kids at all times, and we don't have to put them in a group care situation. Ok, hubby and I don't see EACH OTHER much, but hell...we see each other often enough for me to have gotten pregnant...twice! :)

Love the thread.

[Shirley Ujest]

Ok, all my ernest attempts to build a web page came crashing down around me when I had a major computer melt down and had to get a mother board and lost everything.

So, until I figure out what in the hell I did before ( why didn't I leave a trail of crumbs?) it's gonna be this here thread.

I remain your humble, but technologically challenged servant,

[ChrisCTP]

Shirley's gonna pop in a few weeks. Time to revive this thread.

Also wanted to let you all know that I'm working on my new website (hopefully online by the first of February) and that there will be a message board on it.

Been a long time since this thread was around the top...Bowen's now almost 21 months old. He's learned quite a lot, and absorbing and displaying more of what he's learned everyday. He's completely in awe of my friend's new baby, Zoe (who is now four and a half months old). Everytime we go to visit, he'll lay down with her on the floor and give her hugs and kisses. When we're at home, out of the blue he'll say, "Baby? Zoe?" over and over again.

So, how are the kids?

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"Wednesday the 15th - Chris made one of her rare good points today."
Guanolad

[Yankee Blue]

Good thread, didn't know it was here. My son is well, thank you, entering month 19. He understands every damn word I say to him but will still only articulate about a dozen words of his own. Of course he does makes quite a production out of saying 'mooooRRRe?'

Does every one who has one child immedietly start jonesing for a second? I didn't but all of my friends in the local baby loop are well on their way into parenthood II - 5 couples at last count and one just had her 5th child last summer.

A question - when you were pregnant did you have A FOOD. One you couldn't stand the sight of, let alone eat. Every one of my friend had A FOOD, for one poor soul it was tomato sauce, for me it was fried eggs.

And for the record I put on about 65 pounds during pregnancy - too much for my comfort really, I'm not that big a person - still working on loosing those last 15 or so pounds.

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~There is no statute of limitations on karma~

[Angkins]

for the cencus:27.5 hours strart to finish,
was it worth it yeah! I just wish I could remember more of the details (i was exhuasted towards the end,could barely open my eyes,... )
Anyways the purpose of my post is to share a story that I believe every parent can or will eventually be able to relate to.
My daughter was 6 years old when this happened. Kelli was over with her kids and the oldest and Ashley were up in the play room. Kelli and I noticed it had become a little too quiet up there and called the kids to come downstairs. Upon lenghyy questioning and one bawling little girl we discovered that Ashley told Ted she could cut hair...if she wanted to. Ted told her "yeah prove it " so, Ted ended up with a trim compliments of Salon Ashley!
The crying started when we couldn't help but burst out laughing at the whole situation...Ashley thought we'd be very mad.
The best advice I can give is hide the scissors until they are older!
By the way she used Crayola safety scissors!

[ChrisCTP]

Yankee Blue: For me it was Chinese. Normally, I can't get enough of it, but during pregnancy, even just passing by an Asian restaurant would make me nauseous.

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"Wednesday the 15th - Chris made one of her rare good points today."
Guanolad

[DAVEW0071]

We have the situation of our two children being born 8 1/2 years apart. When we discovered we were expecting, we sat our daughter (now 14) down and explained to her that Mom was going to have a baby. Then my wife took her into the bedroom, and explained how this comes to be.

A day or so later we were driving someplace and the discussion turned to "That baby in Mommy's tummy." My wife asked our daughter, "Yeah, how did that baby get in there?"

She replied that she didn't know. When my wife reminded her that she had explained it all to her the other day, our daughter said, "That's what I don't understand. If you and Daddy didn't do that, how did the baby get there?"

"That's the whole point, we *did* do that!"

She was silent for a moment, then declared, "Oh, Momma, you're gross!"

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The Dave-Guy
"since my daughter's only half-Jewish, can she go in up to her knees?" J.H. Marx

[melanietarrant]

during my pregnancy, my short term memory vanished off the face of the earth.

i was explaining to my husband how i can't remember things anymore, when he burst out laughing.
when i asked him what was so freakin' hillarious, he said.."you just said that 10 minutes ago"

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I'm pink therefore I'm Spam

[Shirley Ujest]

I'd completely forgotten about this thread. Boy, looking back on it and my writings, I was a sanctimonious thing, in other words, my usual self. :)(My New Years Resolution is to be less sanctimonious....I've bitten off a 1/4 of my tongue so far and it's only day 2 of 00. By February I will change my handle to TonglessWmn. :)

I'm glad it's (the thread) been revived.

I've got about 5 or 6 weeks until the big D-day. The doc says Feb 14th. I say earlier, in fact all the ovulation calendars online say Feb 6. Sooo, who ya gonna beleive, a doctor with tons of medical schooling behind her or the internet?
( If I have to have a baby on a holiday, I'd rather it not be a Hallmark Holiday and am shooting for Groundhogs Day :) )

Actually, I'm trying for the Superbowl weekend.( Not that that is a National Holiday, but it practically is anyways.) Not that I have any say in the matter. I'm just the chauffer here just doing what I'm told: eat, eat, eat, sleep, crab, eat, sleep. Superbowl weekend would be great for her in the long run birthday wise, because everyone invited to her birthday
(whether she is 1 or 35) can come with the knowledge that they don't have to suffer through "just cake and gifts" there's gonna be a game too. :)

I just started feeling pregnant in the last week. Really. I don't get morning sickness
(Other than the " Oh god, I have to get up now?) and I cruised through until the 32nd week feeling physically fine and justifying eating ice cream at 3 am for it's calcium content. I do suffer from nasal congestion, which really helps in the " I can't smell a poopy diaper" department, ergo, hubby gets all the stink bombs if they happen to happen when he gets home.

[whine]My back is just starting to hurt and I feel like a penguin waddling around the house. Oh, and the hormonal mood swings combined with my luv of Xmas were a kodak moment for one and all.

(Hubby and I had our only true shouting match ever the day after Xmas ( not bad for 11 years) and I blame my hormones on the entire thing. I was totally redeemed a day or so later because the very subject we were arguing about, came about in a totally unrelated conversation and he put his foot into it. I, naturally, wouldn't let him forget it either.)

On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, 10 being Cake, Overall, I give my pregnancy a 9., but you can't dance to it.

[shantih]

Regarding A Food, I couldn't even be in the same room with wild mushrooms in my first pregnancy, and they are normally one of my top reasons for believing in a benevolent god. I also had a craving for a Slurpee that would have done a heroin addict proud, and I had just moved 4500 miles away to a 7-Eleven-free zone. I used to dream about Slurpees. After my pregnancy, I have had perhaps three in three years.

I'm very new to the Board and you all don't know me from Eve (not to say Adam), so perhaps it's presumptuous of me to ask this, but ... I had a miscarriage last May, and I'm now pregnant again (in my tenth week). I'm seeing my doctor for the next regular appointment this Friday, and I've been as nervous in the last, oh, eight weeks or so as I've ever been in my life. Would you all mind sending some positive thoughts my way this Friday afternoon?

Thanks!

[ChrisCTP]

Congratulations, Shantih! I'm sure it must be a little scary being pregnant again after a miscarriage. Take it easy, follow the advice of your OB or midwife...don't overdo. I'm sure you and your baby will be just fine.

Welcome to the board...and keep us posted!

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"Wednesday the 15th - Chris made one of her rare good points today."
Guanolad

[melanietarrant]

i miscarried my first 2 babies at 6 weeks. and i almost miscarried both of my children at 6 weeks.
i learned to recognize the warning signs that seem to develop for me at about 4 weeks along.(not that they will be the same for you)
and i made it to the emergency room in time to save my last two.
in my case, it's a hormone thing. my body just doesn't produce progesterone(the pregnancy hormone) in enough quanity to support an baby.
both times, i had to get a shot in my hip every week for 8 months to prevent miscarriage
and then, whatever hormone triggers labor failed both times too, i had to get two C-sections.
but, i have two healthy beautiful intellegent children, so i guess the doctors knew what they were doing



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I'm pink therefore I'm Spam

[Shirley Ujest]

Congrats Shantih! You are almost out of the danger zone. Take it easy and relax. It's hard, I know, but worrying about something that is truly beyond your control does more harm than good.Listen to your body. If it says Rest, then do it. Eat, go right ahead. No one will chide you for resting or putting your feet up.( No matter what you eat, everyone notices. You can't win in that department, I'm sorry to say.) You are pregnant and deserve a little pampering.
( The key word here for the rest of the world is "Little". After your second child no one will fuss over you anymore.)

Don't do anything ( Like start a vigorous exercize program, take new medication, etc) that would cause you to have immense guilt down the road if something (knock wood) did happen. If you ever have any questions, do not hesitate to call your doctor or go to the hospital if something doesn't feel quite right. They have seen thousands of nervous mama's wondering if everything is ok down there. Hospitals love pregnant women. You show up in ER and they practically bank tube you up to maternity because, well, they don't know what to do with you since you aren't sick, injured or bleeding all over their uniforms. Ergo, you are less paperwork in the ER room.

(It's the same if you are having a regular pregnancy. If you get sick, your OB doesn't want to see you because you can infect the office and make all the other penguin mama's ill and that is bad. And your regular doctor doesn't want to see you because they just don't want to give you Prescription meds because, well, dammit, they don't keep up to date on what is ok for Momma to take that won't make the baby appear on Springer one day. It is the closest you can come to being a social leper. I Know, I just went through it.)

Keep us up to date and go eat something really fattening. You'll feel better for it. :)

[shantih]

Thank you for the kind words, everyone!! I think I may have been a little unclear -- this is actually my third pregnancy, if that was a bit garbled in my previous post. The first resulted in the most perfect, beautiful, intelligent, remarkable child ever born to mankind, which was certainly lucky for me, and it was the second that ended (in the tenth week) in miscarriage.

The outstanding good fortune for me was twofold: I had already realized the first time around that the creation of a new life is a miracle that happens in your body, but almost entirely beyond your control. I never had any (long-lasting, at least) feelings that the miscarriage was due to anything that I had done wrong.

The other fortunate thing is that almost all of my friends who have had children had also had a miscarriage, and so I was able to talk things through at the time with people who had not only been there, but who had had one or two healthy children since.

We did have the expelled material analyzed, and it was just one of those things, a mistake in the division of the genetic info early on, and not at all likely to happen again. Even though I know perfectly well that worrying not only doesn't help, it doesn't provide any guarantee that things will go smoothly this time, it's hard to put it out of my mind.

I really must look into this inner serenity thing someday.

Shirley, I would love to take your advice and eat a whole pint of Haagen-Dazs (sp?) Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream, but I may have to take a raincheck for a month or so until this queasiness works its way out. (No vomiting, thank all that's holy -- just a general bleahness.)

BTW, I found out that I was pregnant with my son in the 13th week (long story) when my doctor did an ultrasound and there was this active, all-limbs-in-place, definitely-healthy little person of a fetus on the screen. That moment was by far the most astounding and joyous of my life. Why on earth haven't they marketed an at-home ultrasound machine? I'd be watching the internal show 10 hours a day.

Okay, here's a question to all of you parents: what is it about the sight of a newborn child in its parent's arms that brings out disapproval in people? My son was dressed too warmly and too coldly, held in the wrong manner, coddled when we went to him as soon as he cried, fed too often, and who knows what else. I quickly learned to appreciate that people wanted to be a part of taking care of him, but how is it that everyone knew so much better how to do that than his own parents? I know that this happens to every mother and father out there, but why do people feel so much freer with unasked-for advice about babies than, for example, telephones?

I really do appreciate your thoughtfulness, y'all. Thanks!

[ChrisCTP]

People like to think that their way is the right way. This is why we have religious and political wars. On a much less friendly, yet oft overlooked level, we have three armies fighting the "How to Be a Good Parent" war. In one corner, there are the idealistic non-parents. These are the people who've never actually had children, but babysat one once when they were in high school. They know that whatever you're doing is wrong, because your baby cried. Therefore, not only are they NOT going to do that when they have kids, they're also going to make sure to tell you how they plan on raising the children that they might have someday, after they're earning a combined $250,000/year income and have vacationed in the Carribbean a few times.
In the other corner, there are the seasoned parents. These mostly consist of people (mainly women) who had babies 20+ years ago, when nobody breastfed because bottlefeeding was more fashionable. These are the people who will tell you in one breath that you shouldn't pick up a baby everytime he cries, then in the next breath, ask in an exasperated tone, "Are you going to let him wail all night?" These women are easy to spot. They generally look like your mother or your great-aunt, and say things like, "When I was a new mother..." They also like to let you know that they've done this before, surely they know better than you how to take care of a baby...whether you're on your first or fifth child.
Directly in the middle are the actual parents. New parents, parents of multiple young children...people who are not so much seeking advice as they are someone to just take the baby for a few minutes...long enough to take a shower and get a pot of coffee brewing.
Oddly, the actual parents were once idealistic non-parents. If that isn't frightening enough, just think...one day, we're going to be OLD parents. :::shudder:::
(Here's the idealist in me coming out...wait for it...)
"I swear on the life of my child, and the children of my child, that I will never be my mother."


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"Wednesday the 15th - Chris made one of her rare good points today."
Guanolad

[Prairie Rose]

ChrisCTP, I've already given up on not becoming my mother, or at least certain parts of her. I was looking at my droopy post-partum breasts (yes, I'm still nursing) in the mirror and thinking to myself, "When did I get my mother's breasts?!". Scary.


Mom and I are putting in a laminate floor in the kitchen right now, and when a hammer bit my thumb I started swearing through clenched teeth just like you know who. Even scarier!


But at least she's supportive of my parenting style, and keeps telling me I'm doing a great job even when I think I'm not. :) I could do without my in-laws, tho', but at least they live 1500 miles away.


Prairie Rose

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If you're not part of the solution you're just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.

[Prairie Rose]

ChrisCTP, I've already given up on not becoming my mother, or at least certain parts of her. I was looking at my droopy post-partum breasts (yes, I'm still nursing) in the mirror and thinking to myself, "When did I get my mother's breasts?!". Scary.


Mom and I are putting in a laminate floor in the kitchen right now, and when a hammer bit my thumb I started swearing through clenched teeth just like you know who. Even scarier!


But at least she's supportive of my parenting style, and keeps telling me I'm doing a great job even when I think I'm not. :) I could do without my in-laws, tho', but at least they live 1500 miles away.


Prairie Rose

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If you're not part of the solution you're just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.

[Prairie Rose]

Ack!!! Double posts. My apologies!

PR

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If you're not part of the solution you're just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.

[shantih]

Just an update, FYI. I saw my doctor this morning, had an ultrasound, and everything looks as normal as normal can look. Beating heart, head, arms, legs ... the fetal works. I have a picture that may look like a Rorcharch Test to anyone else, but is one of the most beautiful sights in the world to me.

WHEW!!

Thanks again for the supportive words, y'all!

[Yankee Blue]

Yea! Great news. Wishing you and the Rorschach baby all the best -- you're not going to name him that are you? ::

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Good Friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience - this is the ideal life.
--Mark Twain

[ChrisCTP]

We taped our ultrasound slide thingy to an eastern window (right beside the computer) so the light would shine through it...

Everyday when I'd go to check email, I'd rub my belly and greet the picture. "Hey, Blotch!"

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"Wednesday the 15th - Chris made one of her rare good points today."
Guanolad

[Vestal Blue]

Athena! Get out of this thread; you're getting oil all over everything! :)

Cris, reading these is pretty cool. My wife had a horrible time, both pregnancies, being 'morning sick' 24/7. In fact, she spent 10 days in the hospital for hyperemesis and dehydration during both. On the other hand, what the Lord gives He can take away; she had no labour to speak of. With our first, her water broke (totally astounding me) and 18 minutes later we had Meghan. For the twins, her water broke at home in the wee hours, and if Katie hadn't been trying to come out feet first, I would have delivered them!
As it was, she had a nurse friend come over and check her; her friend said "oh my! I feel two little feet!" Then things got interesting. We ended up having an emergency C-section. I didn't get to see them born that time, but I saw them before my wife did, as she was still under anesthesia. And so I christened them in the hall; Katherine Elizabeth and Kandis Rose.

Altogether an amazing, life changing experience!

My greatest fear with Meghan was how would I be able to love this new little person, a stranger to me? That fear was laid to rest the instant I held her for the first time!
Also, I noted that as babies all three of my girls smelt different.

One last note Cris; babies are tougher than you think, so don't be fearful of handling them!

------------------
VB

TANSTAAFL!

[ChrisCTP]

Fearful of handling babies? Me? You must have me mixed up with someone else. My son gets more air than Michael Jordan.

"...he loves to fly, and it shows..."



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"Wednesday the 15th - Chris made one of her rare good points today."
Guanolad

[Yankee Blue]

Mine's a climber. We probably should have named him Edmund Hillary _______.


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Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience - this is the ideal life.
--Mark Twain

[Shadowfox]

Yankee...heehee..

My three-year-old son is beginning to think that his name is "Get down from there". This kid is absolutely fearless. I've pulled him off the top of the fridge on more than one occasion. I'm afraid to let him go outside by himself for fear that he would try to climb up on the roof.

Anyways, this is a timely subject. I got my tubes tied three years ago, so I doubt that it's possible, but I'm 13 days late and I'm starting to get just a little worried...


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Shadowfox
"We are what we pretend to be."
- Kurt Vonnegut

[Shirley Ujest]

Had my usual check up at the OB's office and for the first time in my life brought two people along with me. My husband and my Mom. I wanted my mom to hear the heartbeat doppler thing. They didn't have technology like that in the stoneage when she was dropping kids out like flies. She thought it absolutely won-der-ful and then thought my doctor was a
" bit young" and then wrung her hands at the sight of my stretch marks like they were the worst thing she's ever seen and painful to me. ( Ma, I haven't worn a bikini since I was 20. It'sok.)

My blood pressure is way up ( and we don't know why) and is soemthing to watch. I've never had any problems at all with pregnancy. I feel fine. No headaches ( ok a few), no real problems with blurry vision (With the congestion, I've taken into account sometimes I get blurry vision due to all the pressure in my head. Lord knows it's not from actually thinking.)

I 'm taking it easier, read that as "I've stopped nesting and I don't give a damn." which coincides with " Hubby's drywalling and sanding and the entire house has a layer of dust all over it."

The doc finally agrees with me and thinks I'll go a week earlier. So that gives me under three weeks to fiddle around and stock up on food and possibly work on a budget.

I am toddler free this weekend. Bought a couple of books for the big two day stay in the hospital ( if I'm able to focus on anything in particular.)

[salinqmind]

When I was pregnant, for some reason I had the idea in my head that we didn't have enough stuff for the baby, that we wouldn't be able to provide. Even though we collected the basics over the summer, I went out to garage sales every weekend and brought home loads of stuff - clothes, walkers, toys, bits and pieces of furniture - husband patiently stored it in the garage for "when we needed it someday", I had been out looking for an umbrella stroller the morning labor started. Which was only a slow trickle of the amniotic fluid and an occasional light contraction. I called the doctor at noon and they said he would call me right back. At 4 p.m. I called again, they said they had forgotten all about me and to go up to the hospital. Nothing much had changed for me, and I thought they would tell me to go back home and come back when something serious was happening, but they said they were all ready and put me in a little room off a sort of common room where the nurses took breaks, I guess. There were other rooms and in the middle of the night I heard this one woman screaming her head off and carrying on like a banshee, that was the scariest part. They had put the baby on a monitor and labor pains got worse through the night. At 4 a.m. the nurses were out in the common room making toast! I could see bottles of salad dressing, etc. on the table in the room out in front of me! At 9 a.m., just about 12 hours since I went into labor, the pains were horrible, every couple of minutes. The doctor said labor was not progressing and they wanted to do a C-section. I said that was fine by me, just give me a shot!!!!! So they numbed me from the waist down and we went in and they put a sheet over my lower half - they told my husband he could be here if he stayed in his chair by my upper half - no worry there! I could definitely feel a lot of tugging down there, a little pressure, in spite of the numbness. The baby was taken out crying, waving her arms and legs, they said she was an 8 and then a 10 on the whatever-it's-called-scale- they use to determine color, response, etc. of the baby. The incision was way down on my abdomen, an ugly thick shiny red held together with staples. It was of course painful the first few days but it didn't really bother me much when I went home. I was supposed to rest and stay off my feet, but I really felt all right and after a couple of days went about my normal routine, nothing too strenuous. The incision would ache at night, the staples seemed to itch and burn and dig in then. Also my post-birth bleeding was profuse and went on longer than usual because I stayed active. (Today my little 5 lb. 13 oz. bundle of joy is taller than me! She is 12 and got her period just about a year ago, parenting one of these creatures is a whole new ballgame. I miss my baby, but I have a full formed human here now, who communicates and eats solids and everything....) Good Luck, you are in for a life altering and wonderful experience, hon!

[tatertot]

I have a great labor story, but I don't like to tell it because it scares pregnant women and more than one person has vowed to get their tubes tied after hearing it. If anyone wants the gory details feel free to e-mail me (warning, it's a long story so make some space in your in-box.)

The most bizarre part was when Nicholas started to crown, and my two labor nurses got into an arguement about what color hair he had.

It's blonde

No, it's red.

No, blonde

Me: No, my baby is going to have a head full of long black hair.

No, dear, I'm sure it's red.

So they call in all of their nurse friends, and they're all looking up my vagina trying to figure out what color hair my baby has. I guess they couldn't wait until he was born. As it turns out, I pushed for three hours, so maybe they were right to be impatient.

FTR, he had a teeny patch of strawberry blonde fuzz. But my next baby will have long black hair, this I swear!