Time Traveler busted for insider trading!

[Tars Tarkas]

story (http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030319/104808600007.html)!

Shouldn't this guy be assassinated by Timecops about now? I need to get ahold of his time machine....;)

[CalMeacham]

Hmmmmm --- he must've missed the news reports about him getting arrested. It only shows that you've got to do extensive research in order to get things right.

By now somebody's probably boosted his "craft" and gone into the future for a copy of the Sports Annual with the winners of all the games.....

[matt_mcl]

How droll :)

Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.

[gonzoron]

Drat!!! Until I read that it was WWN, it had me fascinated...

[Coldfire]

So, WWN means that it's a crock of shit for sure?

I mean, these two quotes:"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck. The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.... seriously has me thinking that this guy must be telling the truth about being a time traveller. From $800 to $350 million in two weeks? All I wanted to know is how many stocks he had been trading in, as one obviously cannot have inside information about ALL companies.

However, if you guys say it's all moot because the source is WWN, then I'll just rest my case. :)

[Manduck]

Coldfire, coldfire, coldfire.... tsk tsk ... we only have WWN's word that the guy even exists, let alone that he made those stock trades. The time travel thing isn't the only dubious element of the story.

[Coldfire]

True enough. It appears to be an April fools joke. (http://www.ufodigest.com/aprilfool.html) Pretty good one, though!

[lno]

Wait, so is this guy in league with BatBoy or not?

[Zenham]

I like the other WWN stories posted there better...

Al Qaeda's Latest Weapon of Terror: Your Telephone!
http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030409/104990040011.html

Saddam Starred in Gay Porn Films!
http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030410/104998680005.html

Thanks though Tars, I didn't know Yahoo carried WWN... I've got a new pastime now!

[lno]

"Saddam's acting in the picture is actually quite good," al-Sabah notes. "One scene, in which he buries his face in a pillow and cries, is so touching you almost can forget you're watching a low-budget sexploitation film."It's like he reached into my heart and poured a little bit of wonder into my soul.

[Punoqllads]

Coldfire, the WWN (http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/) is a tabloid paper known in the US for publishing stories more surreal than anything produced by Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf. They were The Onion before The Onion was The Onion.

[Coldfire]

Ah! Thanks for the clarification and the link, Punoq. :)

[GrandfatherTrout]

Originally posted by Punoqllads
They were The Onion before The Onion was The Onion. Okay, this is a lovely description, but I feel that there should be a qualifier here: isn't the WWN intended to be taken seriously? The Onion is a satirical paper. But as far as I can tell, the WWN publishes "news." You'd have to be among the 1500 Stupidest People in America to believe any of it, of course, but heck, more people than that watch Crossing Over with Jonathan Edward.

Or have I just been monumentally whooshed all my life?

[Ice Wolf]

Recent General Questions thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=173455) on this, and a Snopes article. (http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/insider.htm)

[Punoqllads]

Originally posted by GrandfatherTrout
Or have I just been monumentally whooshed all my life?

I don't know about all your life, but since at least around the time the "Bat Boy" story first "broke", the stuff I've seen from WWN sort of admits it's all a big joke. Sort of like how pro wrestling now admits it's "sports entertainment".

I really didn't pay attention before Bat Boy, so I don't know if they were previouly so over the top, but to see an example of some of the stuff they're now writing, look at Bat Boy Endorses Gore (http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/batboy/batboy.cfm?instanceid=10607).

[Tripler]

Now wait a minute, before all of you get your panties in a bundle. . .

Me and Andrew (who's real name is TANGO11939, or "Niner" for short) are good buddies. Hell just last week--well, that's 2819 to you folks--we got together with each other's biological propigants (you call them "wives") for a good three-moon game of tri-tiered chess.

Had it been any other picture, I would have suspected his teenage offspring was fooling around with the quantum capacitor again, kinda like he did with the Napoleonic wars. Crazy kids. . . :rolleyes:

But then again, Niner's been known to get himself into some fiascoes before. Remember Mount St. Helens in 1980? He thought he could control another Vesuvius. :smack:

Tripler
Aw Niner, what the hell did you get yourself into now. . .