Support for matt_mcl

[Potter]

In this thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=175999) our beloved matt_mcl tells us a little about his father, how sick he's become. I've just finished speaking with Matt and the poor guy's completely done in. Trying very hard to be strong for his family, he's a marvel, and completely exhausted.

I think many of us have probably been in a similar situation, trying to hope for the best and not just wait for the worst. The existing thread is so full of best wishes and support, it's wonderful, but I'm asking for more. Something else perhaps, anything to help him keep going during such a tough time. Perhaps talk about something he's said that's touched you, something you've learned from him. Something he's said to make you smile, because he's smart and cute and funny, and so well-loved I'm expecting a lot here. Many of you have known him a lot longer than I have; you've been very lucky in that respect. Now it's payback time.

As for me? What can I say, I admire his strength, his heart and his spirit. I've never met anyone with such a capacity for care, he's incredible and I've never been more proud to be associated with anyone in my life. I love him with all of me, and consider myself lucky to be able to do so.

I've seen the SDMB in action many times, I'm expecting good stuff here, people. Go to it :)

[Polycarp]

I just posted what my heart led me to say, over in the other thread. But you're right: matt is one of the strongest and most decent people I know. A lot of us get on this board and bitch about how the world would be a whole lot better if everybody would do what we think they ought to; matt runs for Parliament -- twice. Many of us think gay people need support in what they go through; matt goes out and volunteers. Some of us see difficulties in language as a problem; matt actively pushes Esperanto. Whenever anybody from Middle America gets on with the idea that the U.S. holds a monopoly on the ideals of democracy and freedom, matt posts a gentle reminder about what Canada's ideals are. I've often said that as a Christian, I look to Triskadecamus as an example of how to put my beliefs into practice; as an activist, I look to matt.

Potter, I know how much you love him, but I think I speak for anybody who's known him even virtually through these boards for any length of time, in telling you that you have no idea how lucky you are.

(And, BTW, this thread was one of the best ideas I've seen in MPSIMS in many a day -- you're a pretty good man yourself! :))

[CuriousCanuck]

Matt - I met you at SugarDope, and had the fortune to ride out there with you and LaurAnge.

I am happy I met you, and am honoured to consider you a friend. :)

[Shirley Ujest]

Matt You are the nicest gay esperanto (esperantus?) male Montrealean that I've ever read on line.

:D

[TheLoadedDog]

Matt, the only time I've really interacted with you on these boards was a (mild) disagreement. Well pish! You're a Doper, you like subways... That's good enough for me. You're cool.

I'm proud to be part of the SDMB family. Like most of us, I've gained a lot from these boards. Like most of us, I recognise the need to give a little back as well. That is the spirit of this place. It's presumptuous of me to make this post, as there are lots of folks here who put me to shame in the way of community spirit. The main thing to remember: Matt, you are not alone. The Dopers are here. You have given a lot to these boards, don't be shy to ask for a collective shoulder when you need it.

[kung fu lola]

matt, I have never been lucky enough to meet you IRL, but you show so much of yourself on SDMB. There are hostile threads where it's chaos and everyone has the flamethrowers out, and I'll be thinking "what a mess", and then I'll see you've posted and my automatic reaction is; "Oh good, the Voice Of Reason."

You're a peacemaker, matt. And you're a formidable man as well.

Blessings on you and your fam, and much lovingkindness from me.

[clayton_e]

Matt, we all think you're a great guy, I really am saddened to hear you're under such stress lately. I hope things look up for you. If you need to talk, we're here.

[Sunspace]

I'd met Matt as an fellow Esperanto-speaker before I'd ever been to a Dopefest; he gently introduced me to my first TorDopeFest. Not only that, he waited around until I arrived late, because of a misunderstanding about when my previous appointment was to end.

And his Metro website, like the subway it describes, rocks.

Yes, I live in another city hours away from you, Matt, but if you meed to talk or email--or a place to crash*--, I'm available. My email, if you don't already have it, is in my SDMB profile.

[Guinastasia]

I'll always remember matt's support when my kitten was dying, and how he stuck up for me.

You guys are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

[koeeoaddi]

You don't know me matt, but you've made me laugh out loud here more than once. Best wishes and good thoughts to you and your family.

[SanibelMan]

Matt, you helped me understand that I am not a freak. No, not because I'm gay, since I'm not -- I'm straight as... something really straight -- but because I'm a subway geek, and now I know I'm not alone. Thank you!

[iampunha]

This post was going to be a new thread of mine earlier in the week. How lucky that I decided to wait until today and much luckier that I saw this thread before I started it.

It is partly because of matt that tomorrow for my final speech (oral communication) I am going to stand up in front of at least one homophobe, and possibly more, and talk to the class about gay rights and gay suicide. And (in typical fashion for anything important enough) I will give examples that are personal in a dual nature: they are of people (as opposed to statistics) and they are of people important in my life. matt is one person I will talk about, as are a few other people I've met or heard of on this board.

When I was writing the speech earlier this week and messaged him for help (again; I've written similar pieces and thought to ask him first for help) I told him something I think he could bear to see again:

"I'm writing this after the piece you wrote on your website."

In typically confident-yet-modest fashion, his response was something like "I hope that's a compliment:)"

That final I will give tomorrow is worth close to one third (28 of the 100 points) of my grade for that class. And I am largely taking as inspiration parts of his website. I have had to reorganize it due to the style we are required to use, but much of the thought and emotion in it is strength I have from what he has said so courageously in the past. Were it not for the fact that B's mother works in the building (in whose house I currently live) and that we don't know how she'd react to the news of my sexuality, I would out myself in that speech. And much of the strength would come from seeing matt fight. As is, I will have to word it otherwise, which will take some power away from my words. It is not a happy compromise, but there you have it.

I will stand there and speak to them for roughly ten minutes and I am confident that I will feel weak in the knees for two reasons: one, because I do not know how well-received the message will be; two, because all I will need to do is think of the strength I see in matt and I will be able to say what I feel needs to be said.

It is not a complicated message. It can't be. I've had to decide what is the most important thing about these two topics (gay rights and gay teen/young adult suicide) and further cut that down. I wish I had half an hour to go into some of the more poignant stories of the failings of this society to protect and preserve its own.

I will stand up there later today for all the people who cannot do so for whatever reason, just as matt has done many times before, for far larger and less hospitable audiences. I hope that whatever cosmic force or higher power is around then will instill in me some fraction of the changing force behind his words and actions.

[Zenster]

Hang in there matt. You have my best wishes for you and your family. I hope your Father is doing better. Make sure to take some time out and pamper yourself in some small (or big) way. You're going through the wringer right now and need to remember your own needs too.

Warmest Regards,

Zenster

PS: Thank you Potter, for starting this thread.

[Eonwe]

Matt, though I don't know you well, I've been fortunate enough to have spent time with you at a few dopefests. I can say that you are definitely one of the most interesting, intelligent, kind, and expressive people I've had the pleasure to meet, and hopefully will see again many times in the future.

I hope that you come through all this in an ok place, and wish you the best.

If you do need some extra support in any way, do let me know, seriously, I'm less than two hours away.

[hyperjes]

I don't know matt_mcl very well, but I do know what it's like to hurt. Hang in there, matt. The best advice I can give is to keep loving your dad. Show him that you love him as much and as often as you can. Love really is the best medicine sometimes. It will help when nothing else will. Best wishes to you and your family.

[Ringo]

matt, you're one of my family here - I'm pullin' for all of y'all.

[Polycarp]

Kudos to you, Pun, for making that speech -- and in a place where people don't get that message often, if at all. That takes bravery.

And it is not a hijack of this thread to praise Pun for that. Because a large part of what's motivated him, and me, to speak out as we have, has been the example of people like Esprix and gobear and especially matt.

"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing," -- attributed to William Burke, M.P., fl 1780s

And on the other hand, all it takes for the battle to be won, is for one man to have the balls to stand up and speak the truth, unafraid, to stand for what's right, whatever the cost.

Matt has those balls. In spades, doubled and redoubled. He's proven it over and over again.

And today he faces a burden nobody should have to bear alone. I only hope that the support of family and IRL friends, and the sense of support from all of us who unfortunately know him only as an online presence, a person who radiates from a bunch of words on our computer monitors, can give him the strength he needs to bear up through it.

[Pixiesnix]

I'm probably the last person who should be posting to this list, as I haven't been here that long. But I've seen matt in action, seen how tenacious and fiesty he can be. I've always had a lot of admiration for him, and for what he believes in. I've never seen him be anything but kind to those he loves, and witty and scintillating to those he disagrees with. This place is a lot more interesting with him in it.

[musicguy]

Matt,

Your compassionate spirit shows through in every post you make. Your fight for the rights of all people is truly humbling. It is people like you that make this world a better place. I wish you and your family peace and inner strength.

[Esprix]

matt is, hands down, the sexiest brain I know. (And he's a hottie, too!)

I've been through what you're going through. FIND SUPPORT FOR YOURSELF, or you'll never make it.

I trust and love you! Mwah!

Esprix

[Already in Use]

matt, you don't know me, but I love your posts and your site, and wouldn't mind knowing you better! You're a great guy and I hope everything turns out for the best for you.

[Siege]

Matt, I haven't posted before because I haven't known what to say. I still don't, but I'll give it a shot. You are one of my favorite people here. I love your wit, your strength, your wisdom, and your fun. Look, speaking as someone who's also tried to be everything to everyone while being nothing to herself, please do take care of yourself, too. I still have a great deal to learn from you, and I look forward to doing so. You can e-mail me if you need to; for that matter, you can call me if you need to.

Look, you've got an adoring wonderful man up there who wants to take care of you, pamper you, and generally love the daylights out of you. If you don't take him up on it, I'm likely to, despite the odds! :D

Be well, and, if you don't mind, I'd like to call you "friend".
CJ

[The Man With The Golden Gun]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is Esperanto?

[Ringo]

The universal language. The problem is that hardly anybody knows that.

[norinew]

Originally posted by The Man With The Golden Gun
Forgive my ignorance, but what is Esperanto?

I believe that since "fighting ignorance" is our theoretical goal here, that anyone ignorant and asking for both forgiveness and enlightenment will be automatically forgiven!:D

Esperanto is a "manufactured" language, meaning that it didn't spring up and work into general geographical use like English, Spanish, French, Russian, etc. Rather someone (I'm sure Google could tell you who) sat down, and made up a language that was designed to be easy to learn. The idea is that if everyone in the world learns Esperanto, then there will be no language barrier! I, myself, have always thought it a great concept.

Now to the OP, matt, I always enjoy your posts. Smart, funny, logical, caring people like you are what attracted me to the SDMB in the first place! This is the only message board I've ever joined (which is probably why my coding sometimes sucks :) ). It has been my experience, dealing with illness in my parents, that God gives us all the strength we need to get through a situation. Sometimes He calls this strenght "Friends". I know you have a lot of them right here. We love you and will do anything we can to help.

[Davebear]

Matt, I don't think we've ever had occasion to interact, other than, perhaps, a passing joke, but I've read and admired many of your posts. So, FWIW, you have my strongest support. You're definitely one of the good ones, around here.

[matt_mcl]

This makes me feel a whole lot better, folks. You don't know how much I appreciate it. :) I'll probably be thinking of this thread a lot today in the hospital.

Thanks, Dopers. {{dopers}}

Matt

p.s. Punha, best of luck on your speech!

[GingerOfTheNorth]

Matt, you are a darling. You made me feel welcome when I joined although I'm sure you didn't know that. I feel a warmth in my heart for you like I would for a brother. Please take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to lean on us if you need it. I will always be available for you.

[Ice Wolf]

Just an isolated echo, sitting here close to the edge of the world. Matt, you're one of the coolest elements to the SDMB, a poster with always something interesting, insightful to say. You utterly never cease to amaze this on-looker.

What has been said before needs to be said again -- make sure you have just as much support as you're offering your father.

You are wonderful. Take care.

[Honeydew]

Hi Matt, again you probably don't know me either but I have read a lot of your posts and I like ya!!! As do so many others it seems.....

I've been where you are now in terms of serious parental illness and I know how it feels.. my thoughts and hopes and prayers are with you now ... take care of yourself {{{{{{{{Matt}}}}}}}

[hawthorne]

Take care of yourself Matt. You've a hard head and a soft heart, which I admire.

[WeRSauron]

Matt, I've always admired you.

May you be strengthened and lifted up.

WRS

[Freyr]

Matt, your strength and character have been inspirational to us all. If you need to lean on us for a while to get thru this most difficult of times, please take what you need.

[Greywolf73]

Matt, you are truly an inspiration. My thoughts are with you.

[Potter]

I just thanked the other thread so had to pop back in here to say thank you all so much. Matt just called from the hospital where his father's doing a little better; I've been reading him posts from this thread and they definitely seem to be helping him keep his spirits up. Your response has been fantastic, I'd be here all day if I tried to respond or thank you all personally.

Cheers, loves. He's worth all this and so much more.

[Otto]

I have nothing to add here except "ditto."

So, ditto.

[Homebrew]

I'd like to pop in and say that despite his own troubles, I appreciated that he tried to lend a little happiness to me when I started a Pit thread last week decrying the 'phobes in my home state.

Thanks and best wishes, matt.

[Horrifying Howler Monkey]

Best wishes to you and your family matt. I'll echo what oters have said here, and say you have always been one of my favorite posters here. My thoughts are with you.

[Ellen Cherry]

Matt, you are much beloved and cared for here, and I join the others in saying how much your kindness and understanding, wit and knowledge make the SDMB a place I love to come. I don't think we have interacted much, but I'm always glad to see your posts!

I also know what you're going through, having been through the illness and death of my own father, and my daughter as well. I am offering prayers that this time will be as easy as possible on you, and that your father has an easy journey. Take care.

[The Man With The Golden Gun]

Thanks for the answers on Esperanto. I had seen it mentioned here a few times and always wondered what it was. Sounds like an interesting concept.

[Tomcat]

Keep heading straight in the right direction matt! You are an admirable person and it shows.

Take care-
-Tcat

[irishgirl]

Matt, the boards (and by extension the universe ;) ) would be a poorer place without you.

Hang on in there, we love you lots.

[Angel of the Lord]

matt, I've looked up to you almost since I began posting here. My thoughts, prayers, and energies are with you right now. Other than that, all I can do is ::hugs::.

[manhattan]

Matt, I wish you as much strength as you have given to others.

All the best to you and yours.

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by hawthorne
You've a hard head and a soft heart, which I admire. As the great poet Meat Loaf said, you took the words right out of my mouth. :)

Matt's one of those people who walks the fine line between being stubborn and compassionate. Given his age, I'd say he walks that line pretty damn well. I'm at least a decade his senior, and I'm still struggling with the same balance.

Matt, you come across as a caring and warm person, and you're a true asset as a Doper. Over the years, I've come to enjoy your posts (although I won't deny that I've been annoyed by them at sporadic times too), their sincerity, their... their mattness. You're a true character around here, and we appreciate your presence.

You're going through one of the most horrible periods in your life right now. The future is uncertain. The life of a loved one may be at stake. You're thrown about in despair, no doubt. You're feeling helpless, and without power.

Know that you have friends here, people who'll be here for you, come what may. Shoot, send me a quick e-mail with your phone number, and I'll call you soonest to try and give you some support, in whatever way I can.

And a big cheer for Potter, too. For starting this thread, as a mental support session for his partner Matt, and for being a Class Act if only for that reason alone.

[gobear]

Matt's integrity and honesty are an example of how a person should behave. He is courageous and tenacious in standing up for his beliefs, always having his actions match his words. No matter how how divergent our views on, well, everything, I have always had a deep admiration and respect for him. He is a sterling human being and I am so sorry for the pain he is going through right now.

Many hugs for you.

[Rasa]

It's been touched on here already, but I have a lot of respect for matt for the simple fact that he puts thought into action. You're truly remarkable, matt and I wish you and your family strength.

[Yumanite]

I may be the only person on the SDMB who has ever pitted (http://http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=163535) matt, and I still stand by everything I said in that thread.

In fact, before I even called him out, my first reaction was something like:

"matt_mcl responded to something I wrote!!!!!"
*swoon*

even if he did tell me to f*ck me very much :p

[elelle]

Matt, I've long admired your posts here, never have spoke up in support, because your posts always make so much obvious sense.

In a darker hour for you, I will speak up. Thank you for your good sense, compassion, and incisiveness on these boards. It would be a lesser place without your strong voice. All strength to you now, and so glad you have the best beloved Potter you deserve. (Bless you too, Potter!)

[Finnie the Pooh]

Matt, best wishes from Kaministiquia. May the force be with you!

[matt_mcl]

OK, folks, here comes my 9000th post (just a few more months till I break the handy Barrier!!)

I want to thank you all for your compassion, your thoughtfulness, and your offers of support. I don't have the words right now to tell you how much it all means to me. As if having provided me with the most precious man in the world wasn't enough, these boards always manage to amaze me with the humanity and warmth and fellow-feeling among their denizens, and how close they bring us together even spread out as we are over the whole world.

Thank you so much, Dopers, for everything. You're wonderful people. Our community is amazing.

And Tom - la felicidad tiene tu nombre y tu piel, dear heart. I love you forever.

[Homebrew]

Originally posted by Tomcat
Keep heading straight in the right direction matt!


BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

I believe matt goes gaily forward, but never straight.

[Sunspace]

The esteemed matt_mcl said:
OK, folks, here comes my 9000th post (just a few more months till I break the handy Barrier!!)
Does this mean you're in The Clique now? Did you get the toaster, or what? :)

[Polycarp]

And Tom - la felicidad tiene tu nombre y tu piel, dear heart. I love you forever.

Should you really be talking about Tom's piel on open board? Does JDT know about this? :eek:

:D

[Already in Use]

matt, I was moved to post in this thread again after noticing in another thread that you had reached 9000! Just 1000 more until the big one oh oh oh oh! (Wow, that sounded like I just had an orgasm... :D) And knowing you, all of them will be gems.

[Tansu]

matt is a wonderful poster and a big part of what makes the SDMB great. I admire him very much. I also admire Potter for giving him the support and love he needs. I wish them both strength in getting through such a tough time.

[Flamsterette_X]

matt, I can't say it any better than the others. You're a terrific poster, and a great person. Potter is awesome for giving you his love / support / anything else you need. I wish that the both of you will get through this together, and will pray for the strength and resources you may need.

F_X

[Potter]

Originally posted by Already in Use
Wow, that sounded like I just had an orgasm... Soon as he'd posted his nine-thousandth post, I asked him if he'd came. He replied "Nah, I'm saving that for my ten-thousand."

Anyway. Everyone can quit saying nice things about me (it's embarassing) and keep saying such lovely things about Matt. He's just off to spend another day at the hospital. Wish him luck!

Poly, that was just terrible (and too, too funny... I had to look it up in Babelfish just to see what was killing Matt laughing).

[Polycarp]

Poly, that was just terrible (and too, too funny... I had to look it up in Babelfish just to see what was killing Matt laughing).

Well, it was definition no. 4!!! :D

[Shodan]

May the Lord be with you, now and forever, matt_mcl.

And the next time you see your dad, tell him, if you like, that there are a lot of people who are praying for him. Not because we know him, but because we know and value his son.

Regards,
Shodan

[Politzania]

I've been keeping you and your father in my thoughts matt - wishing you and yours strength and peace.

Politzania

[kellibelli]

Take care old friend, my best to your Dad.

[Baker]

matt_mcl once gave me permission to use a cool story he told about the Phelps family. I still tell people about it occasionally, when they wonder how to respond to the idiocy Phred espouses. Thanks for that!

But seriously, matt_mcl, I will be thinking of you and your father, and will keep you both in my prayers.

[Lynne_kilii]

OK, we'll ignore that I feel like a stalker major.

Every time I see that matt_mcl has had the last post, I look. Every time he opens a thread, I look. When my friend joined the boards, I said, hey, check out this guy, not only is he cool, he's canadian! (so's she). We're both totally in love with him, cause he's funny, and smart, and everything everyone has already mentioned. In a platonic, I'll never have him sort of way.... but he's definately one of the many people I saw running around that made me want to join the boards. In fact, I may have joined so that I could use the search feature.... God I'm a stalker. Oh well. Just my insane way of saying you may be the coolest person ever.

Dude, I hope that everything works out for you, and that I didn't scare you.

[Francesca]

I'm thinking of you, Matt.

[AHunter3]

:) matt is one of the people I hope to meet some day. Definitely one of our leading citizens here! Yeah, I always look forward to reading his posts.

[Polycarp]

Matt, Hamish, Potter, or another of les Dopers Montrealoises who's willing to call and check, I confess to much concern about how things are going with matt -- and nobody's updated this thread.

[Potter]

Eeep, I'm so sorry, I'll do what I can. Matt's dad had a small operation yesterday after his doctor had looked at a CT scan. It looked like he had pressure building up in the fluids of his brain, so they stuck in a drain and now it's just a matter of waiting to see how he's doing after he wakes up, now that the pressure's been relieved. Apparently he's more conscious today and has been responding to those around him. Next 24 hours should give the family more of an idea what'll be going on with regards to future treatment. Matt's still exhausted but is bearing up wonderfully and being an absolute bloody marvel :)

[Potter]

Some very welcome news - just got off the phone with Matt, his father has opened his eyes, and is even hungry and thirsty. Long term who knows, but this is good. The boi sounds relieved which was great. Thanks again everyone.

[AHunter3]

:) good news

[Polycarp]

Thanks, Potter. You're a good man yourself -- get the sustenance that you need in order to lend strength to Matt as only you can, y'hear?! :)

[FallenAngel]

Matt, while we differ on a number of ideological points, I have always been impressed with your manners, your articulation and eloquence in standing up for your beliefs and opinions. You're a strong, resilient and intelligent person, and I've always respected you.

Having been through a similar situation myself with my mother a couple of years ago, I understand a portion of what a rough and incredibly draining experience you are going through. My only advice is this:

Be strong for those you love, but feel free to let yourself be weak as well. If you can't lean on them (for whatever reason), you can always lean on us.

Remember the love and good times with your dad, regardless of the outcome. While it makes the pain sharper at first, it makes the joy come quicker and the wounds heal more cleanly.

Know that there are people all over the world who admire you, care for you and will help you in any way they can.