Enterprise panda? Whaaa?

[LorieSmurf]

I've seen "panda" referred to in many an Enterprise thread. I missed that joke somewhere along the line. Would someone enlighten me? Purty please?

[NoClueBoy]

A long, long time ago...

In a thread far, far away...

A Trek Doper referred to Pander the Panda beause of some overt sexuality in certain scenes in ENT.

It was shortened to Panda.

Search Cafe for Panda for about November of last year in an ENT thread.

If you can't find it, one of us will have it on our old CP, I'm sure. But, it's late and I'm off to my sleep chamber.

TTFN

[vivalostwages]

There's a Plushie Porthos toy, but we really want a Plushie Panda with anatomically correct parts.

[Ephemera]

I have insomnia so here (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=145476) you go. Ctrl-F and type in Panda.

Notice the lack of Aesiron. That's a dead give away that it's a subpar Enterprise thread.

[Michael Ellis]

Sexual Harrassment Panda.

[NoClueBoy]

The relevant post from EnderW24 (note that in an ealier post to this thread, elf6c mentioned the pandering that we love so much from ENT)


Archer: a little to the left
T'Pol: Perhaps I should goo you down as well captain.
Panda: grooooowll
Archer: Who the hell are you?
Panda: I'm Pander the Panda.
T'Pol: What are you doing here?
Panda: I make an appearance whenever you do something completely nonsensical for the sake of pandering to some portion of the audience.
Archer: We've had tons of Decon scenes before. How come you just now came?
Panda: Sorry. I've been busy over on the set of Girls Gone Wild.
Porthos: Arf!
Panda: grooooowll
Porthos: Arf!
Panda: grooooowll
Porthos: Arf!
Panda: grooooowll
Archer: Will you two shut the hell up?
Panda: Sorry about that captain. I go into a feedback loop whenever I'm around cute animals.
Phlox: Captain, there are other contaminations on the ship. I'm sending one in right now.
Cute child: Hi, my name is Naomiwesleyjake and I'm really sick. *cough* *cough* I think I can still pilot the ship if you need me to, captain.
Panda: grooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowll



Aes, it ain't subpar, it's subwarp!

Sorry, little Lorie girl. We'll get this thread rocking just like all the others.

Just wait till Kn*ckers comes in here and loses her pants! :D

[Kn*ckers]

*duct-taping pants firmly in place*

Yeah? Think so? I'll show you! Why, these pants are stuck on better than any pants ever were before.

Now, if only I'd remembered to put on a shirt...

[tracer]

I'm sorry, Kn*ckers, I didn't hear what you just said. I was too busy staring.

[Cervaise]

Originally posted by Kn*ckers
Now, if only I'd remembered to put on a shirt... Suddenly, I have the horrifying suspicion that you are not really a woman.

I have a hideous vision of a sweaty, hairy-backed guy sitting naked in his basement, fantasizing about a nubile exhibitionist who just can't help mentioning her sweet jujubees at every opportunity. Her perky, heaving, glistening... --type type type-- "Yeah, this'll get 'em going..."

<cartoon character> :eek: ogidy ogidy ogidy ogidy ogidy </cartoon>

(Sorry. I just found it mildly ironic that the SDMB, while making fun of Trek Panda, cannot resist gravitating to its own species of bamboo-rubbing carnivore. :D)

[Kn*ckers]

Teehee. Well you'll never know, Cervaise. But for the record, I don't have a basement.

I see your point about the irony of our panda mockery, but for my part, I like the panda. It makes me happy.


Kn(who is pretty sure she really is a girl)ckers

[Tars Tarkas]

Another Thread gone to Panda-monium! It is a Pandemic! Good thing i am safe in Panda Francisco!

[LorieSmurf]

I understand now.

I understand everything now.

/kissing Star Trek Doper feet/ smooch smooch. Mmm..lick lick...nibble nibble....

oh...sorry...Never knew i had a foot fetish....

[NoClueBoy]

You know?

In real life...

I really do have a foot fetish.

:D


How you doin?

resistance is futile... ooh baby... you will be assimilated... a little more to the left... oh yeah

[Ephemera]

Pft. Stomachs are where it's at. Feet're just smelly and nasty.

[LorieSmurf]

Hey NoClueBoy!! I used to live in OKC! (now in Tulsa)

So...were ya in the wicked tornadoes? You still alive??? Do you still have feet?

[Ephemera]

Hmm.. maybe your mutant power is like Wolverine's healing factor. Weren't you face down in a ditch for like three weeks or more?

[Enderw24]

grooooowll

[NoClueBoy]

Help me Panda,

Help, help me Panda

Help me Panda yeah

Get her out of my mind

__________

I'm fine, see y'all in a little bit.

[Wearia]

Wearia: Welcome to the cult of Pander the Enterprise Panda.
Last weeks meeting we discussed Hoshi's hotness, T'Pol's butt, how we hate Archer, how explosions are cool and where to find the best phaser-cutting phasers at cheaper than dirt prices.
Now, we shall open the meeting with the symbolic fighting of Kirk and Spock from TOS. Who would like to volunteer?
tracer/NoClueBoy: ME! MEEEE! OOO MEEE!
Wearia:Alright, here are your large sharp sticks, music please.
Tars Tarkas: Do do do, do do do do do, do do do, do do do do do do, do do do! NEE NEE NEE, do do do! DUN NUN NUN! DA DA! LALALA DUNNNNN!
*Applause*
Wearia: Now, we will have vivalostwages say words in Klingon that sound like other words.
viva: Mor Be'ir Woh Man!
*laughter*
viva: Bu'uts ir Stenk E!
*histarical laughter*
viva: Oi lek toi pek min noss ard iet et!
*Aerison dies from laughter asphyxiation*
Wearia: Now, discussion of who chef really is.
carnivorousplant: Crewman Daniels!
Tars: Ha! The Vulcan science command has stated that it is impossible to time travel if you work in food preparation!
carnivorousplant: LIAR!
Kn*ckers: Do do do do do do do do, do do do.
Cervaise: No carny! He has more arms then you!
carnivorousplant: Shhhh! I'm hoping he doesn't know that!
Panda: F#@%ing nutballs...

[vivalostwages]

Wearia, you totally rock my planet.
:D

[Ephemera]

I died? Why did I have to die?

Does this mean the next meeting will be about me? Do I get to have hot monkey sex with Robin Curtis too?

[Linus Van Pelt]

Wait! Point of continuity!

Does The Panda speak, or does it just growl meaningfully?

Or perhaps, it cleverly combines both...

Panda:"Rrrrets rrrro, rrrip!
Rrro, boy a Rrranda rrack!"

<slurp!>

Trip: "Doggone it, Panda! I was saving that catfish sandwitch for later!"

[NoClueBoy]

Sand witch?!

Yikes!

I hate those desert hags.

[Linus Van Pelt]

Maybe his mutant power is jumping on misspellings faster than the Panda pouncing on a jar of decon gel.

<sniff> Another post, shot down in its prime, lost to the tragedy of senseless misspelling. Kids, don't let this happen to you!

[NoClueBoy]

I thought you really meant "sandwitch."

'Cause every Southern boy knows the bread food thingy is a "sammich."

Hope that helps.

(I'm really enjoying all my mutant powers. :) )

[Tars Tarkas]

Originally posted by Linus Van Pelt
Wait! Point of continuity!

Does The Panda speak, or does it just growl meaningfully?



It depends. on Decon heavy shows, the Panda has the intelligence of the combined consiousness of north america nd regularly wins Nobel prizes for the sciences and philosphies. On smart episodes like the one with the Tholians, the panda is a brain damaged drool bag.

[Ephemera]

So do I get to boink Robin Curtis or what?

[Wearia]

Originally posted by Aesiron
I died? Why did I have to die?

Your the red shirted ensign.
And sorry, Robin Curtis is out. But we have managed to bring in Robin Williams for you. Just imagine hes a very hairy bear.

[Ephemera]

I don't even own a red shirt, you lousy Canuck!

[NoClueBoy]

[mork mork mork]

Hey! Keep in down in there!

[vivalostwages]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by NoClueBoy
[B]You know?

In real life...

I really do have a foot fetish.

SNIP[QUOTE]

As long as you're not hot for Phlox's phunky feet, it's tolerable.

[Linus Van Pelt]

Originally posted by Wearia

And sorry, Robin Curtis is out. But we have managed to bring in Robin Williams for you. Just imagine hes a very hairy bear.
"...He was a hairy bear
He was a scary bear..."

I suppose it could have been worse. They could have gotten Robin Leach.
[annoying accent]
"Hello! This is Robin Leach! Welcome to Lifestyles of the Geeky and Sex Obsessed!"
[/annoying accent]

[elf6c]

Yes I was the one who started the complaints about the incessant pandering whenever they ran out of plot ideas to steal from previous Treks. But the panda gained a life of its own asfter that.

Hey, is this one of you guys?

Tony Alleyne, 50, recently placed his small Leicestershire, England, apartment on the market for the equivalent of US$1.7 million, a price he said was realistic because he has spent nearly 10 years crafting the premises as a finely detailed model of the "Star Trek" starship Enterprise. Included, according to an April report in Australia's Herald Sun, are a life-size transporter control, a gigantic warp core drive, voice-activated lighting and security, and an infinity mirror. "If you're going to do something," he said, "you have to go all the way." Alleyne said he started the project as therapy when his wife walked out on him. [Herald Sun, 4-10-03]

http://www.ucomics.com/newsoftheweird/

[Kn*ckers]

So, do the transporters work? Cause this guy could make some serious money if they do. Way more than 1.7M.

re: phunky phoot phetishes - Are we going to see some toe sucking in the T'Pol/Phlox decon scene? I really hope not. God, I really, really hope not.

Kn(surprisingly, not a foot-fetishest)ckers)

[elf6c]

This was my favorite part:

Alleyne said he started the project as therapy when his wife walked out on him.

I probably would have left that part out . . .



;)

[Kn*ckers]

I guess he'd still have a normal house if Mrs. Alleyne had just stood by her man? He must have needed a lot of therapy after the break-up, if it took 10 years of home-improvement.

Wonder what drove her away. Maybe that he kept calling the garage the "shuttle bay," or his fear that opening the wondows will lead to decompression.

[Cervaise]

I bet it was all the flashing and beeping of the sickbay-style computerized readouts above the bed.

[Tars Tarkas]

i think it was the sex only every seven years...






(or the worf mask. ::shudders::)