Chics who put out or nice girls?

[Adman]

Is there any hope for a relationship with chics who put out right away or not? Personally, I like to test drive before I get stuck with some shitty virgin who lays there like a dead fish.

[RangerDude]

Judging from your earlier posts throughout the SDMB, I'd have to advise you to steer clear of women. Totally. You'd be doing them a great favor.

[Ooner]

Of course, women fall into the two distinct categories of undatable whores to use just for sex, and virgins who wouldn't ever put out, and even if they did, they would be terrible in bed.

Right.

So which are you on the asshole/loser dichotomy?

[SnoopyFan]

Originally posted by RangerDude
Judging from your earlier posts throughout the SDMB, I'd have to advise you to steer clear of women. Totally. You'd be doing them a great favor.

Amen and amen!

[Blalron]

Originally posted by Adman
Is there any hope for a relationship with chics who put out right away or not? Personally, I like to test drive before I get stuck with some shitty virgin who lays there like a dead fish.

This entire question is unanswerable, as is it based on false premises:

(1) If a girl let's you "test drive" her, she is a worthless whore you can't have a relationship with.

(2) If she doesn't give you sex right away, she is a "shitty virgin" who will lie there like a dead fish.

[Netbrian]

I always feel that despite such posts, people like that have a better love life than I do anyhow. This depresses me enormously.

[SnoopyFan]

Netbrian judging from most of Adman's posts, I seriously doubt he's getting laid more than you.

Give women a little credit, willya? :)

[Siege]

Adman, I was one of those "shitty virgins" until I was in my mid-20's. As expected, when I ceased to be one, I thoroughly enjoyed myself, as did the gentleman I was involved with. One reason I was a virgin as long as I was was in order to avoid having sex with jerks. While I am celibate now, I can honestly say I've never had a bad sexual experience, nor has a man had a bad sexual experience with me. I am not inexperienced.

So, stock question number 142:
Why is women are either "virgins" or "sluts" while no such dichotomy exists for men?


By the way, Netbrian, SnoopyFan, if I do decide to do something about that celibacy thing, trust me, you two are way ahead of the OP.

CJ

[Mangetout]

Is there actually anything of substance to debate here?

[Typo Negative]

Any woman who agrees to have sex me automatically gets into the 'nice' category.

[YourOldBuddy]

In my experience it makes no difference what so ever. I have not been any more likely to be involved with a girl who doesnt put out on the first night, than ones that do.

I live in Iceland and things here are a bit different.

I prefer girls with a bit of experience.

[PatriotX]

I was going to ask what the difference between the two categories was.
But I see that spooje already addressed this.

Adman,
I think that the answer to your question is yes.

I'm not sure what the debate is here.

[j_kat_251]

TO BE RESOLVED:

Do you prefer a girl who will "put out" on the first date, or first few dates, to one who eventually gives in after a suitable amount of courting and present-purchasing?

[Gaudere]

[Moderator Hat ON]

Off to IMHO.

[Moderator Hat OFF]

[Snooooopy]

Originally posted by Siege
So, stock question number 142:
Why is women are either "virgins" or "sluts" while no such dichotomy exists for men?


Hmm ... how about "lucky bastards" and "guys with wonderful personalities"?

[pessimisticgrace]

<<"guys with wonderful personalities">>

Such a thing exists?

Seriously though, if you reverse the gender it's guys who DON'T whine for you to put out. Isn't that a nice guy?

[Duke]

Welcome to the boards, pessimisticgrace! (May we call you pessimistic or pess for short?)

A word of caution...the "nice guy" debate is a recurring theme here in IMHO. You can search for some of the recent threads...there's been a lot of discussion on the subject, some of it interesting! (Eh, just kidding there, IMHO denizens!)

[USCDiver]

What if I prefer shitty virgin chics who put out right away? Or as I like to call them SVCWPORA.

Laying dead fish is never cool.

[MikeRochenelle]

As others have said, the OP is wrong and self-contradictory. The only answer is "mu". ;]

j_kat_251

Do you prefer a girl who will "put out" on the first date, or first few dates, to one who eventually gives in after a suitable amount of courting and present-purchasing?


I prefer women who are mature enough to not be freaked out about having sex, and are capable of deciding if they like me enough to have sex with me by the third date.

Further, I particularly love women who, when they realize at or before the third date that I'm not their type, will tell me so honestly and openly and break things off, instead of expecting me to be psychic and read their minds and break things off, thus saving them from having to be the bad guy and actually take responsibility for their own love lives.

Further, I tend to hate the living crap out of immature little girls who are either freaked out about having sex (choose one: religious nut, virgin till marriage, scared of men and male sexuality), or who string me along for date after date after date with no intention of ever getting more serious, simply because I know the good restaurants, have a credit card, and am pleasant company.


Yes, I have some issues in this area. ;]


-Ben

[cuauhtemoc]

You're all going to think I'm nuts, but there's probably nothing in the dating world I love more than a long, slow tease, even one that lasts for months. I've dated women who were too fast and... well, it's hard to explain, but I felt I'd been somehow robbed of something. Maybe deep down inside I feel it's my birthright as a man to be intoxicated and consumed by desire. That doesn't happen when a woman puts out on the second date.

And I'm not saying I like it when a woman has hangups about sex, it's actually just the opposite. I think it's cool when a woman appreciates being wanted. When she knows I'm hot, hot, oh so hot for her and she gets off on it; has fun with it, wants to make it last as long as possible. Yes, I believe that sometimes a woman has to be cruel to be kind. ;)

Originally posted by Siege
Adman, I was one of those "shitty virgins" until I was in my mid-20's. As expected, when I ceased to be one, I thoroughly enjoyed myself, as did the gentleman I was involved with. One reason I was a virgin as long as I was was in order to avoid having sex with jerks. While I am celibate now, I can honestly say I've never had a bad sexual experience, nor has a man had a bad sexual experience with me. I am not inexperienced.
Hmm. A serious, thoughtful answer to an impossibly ignorant and eminently mockable question. You know what your problem is? You're too nice. :D

[Huerta88]

Originally posted by YourOldBuddy
I live in Iceland and things here are a bit different.

I'd imagine you've just sparked a fair amount of wistful daydreaming among certain readers, with their own vivid ideas of how things are different in Iceland. I'm sure your stories, esp. those relating to the more complaisant of the Icelandic maidens, would receive a welcome hearing from this contingent.

I remember a tourist campaign (or seem to) whose theme was something along the lines of "Hot Icelandic Nights" -- refreshingly (or not) unabashed in basically pimping off the Nordic babes as the raison d'etre of Icelandic tourism.

[Mr. Excellent]

Personally, I'm a bit scared of women who want to get right down to business, so to speak. I never dated in high school - still haven't, actually - and have never gotten laid. So when a woman starts suggesting that we might do something other than discuss politics, I tend not to know how to handle the situation and go hide in my dorm room.

I'm really much more comfortable with women who I've known for a while. Unfortunately, by this time I'm usually stuck in "good friend" status, and don't want to risk that friendship by trying to upgrade.

Good grief, that looks pathetic. I'm really quite successful, honest. High GPA and everything. Just, er, no luck with the ladies.

[Snooooopy]

Originally posted by pessimisticgrace
<<"guys with wonderful personalities">>

Such a thing exists?


Of course not! But "wonderful personality" is woman-code for "I feel no sexual attraction to you whatsoever and probably never will."

[In Conceivable]

Originally posted by MikeRochenelle
I prefer women who are mature enough to not be freaked out about having sex, and are capable of deciding if they like me enough to have sex with me by the third date.


Huh?

I am a mature women who is not freaked out by sex. However, three dates isn't really very much time to get to know someone. It seems very immature to me to put a three date time limit on starting a relationship.

[YourOldBuddy]

Sry, OT but someone needs to get the record straight.

Knowing someone well is not a prerequisite to having sex. Also sex is a wonderfull way of getting to know someone.

[CrazyCatLady]

Originally posted by YourOldBuddy
Sry, OT but someone needs to get the record straight.

Knowing someone well is not a prerequisite to having sex. Also sex is a wonderfull way of getting to know someone.

For you it might not be a prerequisite, but some of us have different standards. I, for one, would never consider trusting my body, my health, and quite possibly my life to someone I don't know well.

[In Conceivable]

Originally posted by YourOldBuddy
Sry, OT but someone needs to get the record straight.

Knowing someone well is not a prerequisite to having sex. Also sex is a wonderfull way of getting to know someone.

Perhaps it isn't for you. For some people it is.

Wanting to know someone before having sex doesn't make one immature or freaked out by sex. To me the best sex is with someone you already know well and are comfortable with.

[Adman]

This poster has one motto... Put out or get out. And yes I am probably getting laid more than that one guy.

[Blonde]

Originally posted by Adman
This poster has one motto... Put out or get out. And yes I am probably getting laid more than that one guy.


Uh-huh, because you have such a way with words....charming.

[mhendo]

Originally posted by Adman
This poster has one motto... Put out or get out. And yes I am probably getting laid more than that one guy. Sorry dude, Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters doesn't count.

[susan_foster]

Originally posted by MikeRochenelle
[
Further, I tend to hate the living crap out of immature little girls who are either freaked out about having sex (choose one: religious nut, virgin till marriage, scared of men and male sexuality), or who string me along for date after date after date with no intention of ever getting more serious, simply because I know the good restaurants, have a credit card, and am pleasant company.


-Ben [/B]

Ahem. I am a virgin - I will remain so until I get married. I am not an immature little girl - I am a woman who has made a choice to be careful with my body and who I share it with - and ask that whomever I date has respect for my beliefs. Guess that knocks you out of the race MikeRochenelle .

Susan

[Pablito]

So who get's to start the pit thread for Adman? His posts continue Ad nauseum.

[Siege]

Originally posted by Adman
This poster has one motto... Put out or get out. And yes I am probably getting laid more than that one guy.

In that case, I'll cut to the chase. Get out. I prefer my record of never having had bad sex, and your attitude doesn't seem conducive to good sex. This virgin's response was not to lie there "like a dead fish", but to say "Mind if we do it again?" while ensuring the answer to that was "Not at all!" Man that was a good weekend!

cuauhtemoc, how you doing again? ;)

CJ

[Ryan_Liam]

Ok, I'll probably get flamed for this but I don't care, I don't believe anybody on here when they say girls like nice guys, because obviously they don't and if they did (and I will probably be mocked for saying this as well) I would have plenty of them chasing me.

But do you know what? They like bad guys and I haven't seen any other evidence that they do not, I have tried and tried and tried to find out in my area and others if the girls liked nice guys and do you know what? The quote 'nice guys finish last' is absolutely true, all we have to wait for is girls who have had sexual partners who have messed them about and we have to deal with it. I think I'm being terribly sexist, and a moron, I apologise for that, but what else can I say? There just doesn't seem to be any positive aspects of being one.

Help me out here, without smart assed remarks......

[Essured]

Ryan, well, why don't you tell us what behaviours and thoughts you have that make you a 'nice guy' ? Perhaps your picture of a 'nice guy' is different from others ?

You can say that girls don't like nice guys, but you're wrong. I married the nicest guy in the world (sorry, girls, he IS ;) ) That's why I'm thinking the problem may be in your definition of a 'nice guy'. Follow ?

[Netbrian]

Originally posted by Adman
This poster has one motto... Put out or get out. And yes I am probably getting laid more than that one guy.

:eek:

My god! You've had sex more than zero times?!! I bow down to your sheer manliness.

Oh wait, there is that one, slight issue that the subset of people you find attractive, which is mainly based on how easy they are to seduce, probably shares no elements with my particular subset.

Oh, and I wouldn't think you were real, had it not been for the fact I know too many people that are living models of your beautiful romantic sentiments.

[Ryan_Liam]

Well, my definition of a nice guy is well, good to be around, polite, respectful, humourous, intelligent (but that can aplly to bad guys too) thoughful, commited, honourable and maybe helpful, thats my interpretation of a nice guy...but it just seems to be no point in doing so....I think I'm just depressed cause its been like forever since I even hugged or spoke to a girl I liked, and waiting is driving me crazy.

[irishgirl]

Adman.

long walk
short pier

best course of action.


((Ryan_Liam))
Keep your head up.
Think of which you'll regret more, a few months of celibacy, or treating someone like dirt.
Do unto others and all that. It's worth it in the end.

[BadBaby]

Ryan, is your wonderfulness clear to the girls you're hanging out with? Sure, you know you're a great catch, but sometimes you need to do a little promotion, don't hide your light under a bushel. That doesn't mean brag and act like a pompous ass, but don't sit there in silence either.

Also, it's going to take chatting with and being turned down by a lot of girls. It's not like the movies where people meet their soulmate after dating only two other people. Lastly, girls your age often have a high tolerance for assholes. *cough*adman*cough* It's no consolation right now, but once those girls get tired of the idiot bad boy manuevers and machinations, they're going to be all over you.

[Ryan_Liam]

I guess its because there is no way of getting to a place where I can actually meet someone cool, I mean, I'm at that age where well I'm no longer a child but not yet an adult, I've left school, but can't get a job, and there seems to be no clear way of meeting people, I've nearly finished my first year at college.....its all really frustrating, and around here the girls like bad asses and older men, so thats another factor.

[faithfool]

Ah Ryan_Liam, I felt just like you when I was in my late teens/early twenties. I so wanted to know where all the good guys where and how in the hell I was supposed to meet them?!! I mean, I lived in a pretty small town (where everyone my own age had pretty much vacated for college), worked at a business with all older married men and my hobby, softball, didn't lend itself to anything but mostly over-hyper, insensitive jock types. To add insult to injury, it seemed that if I *did* come across a decent fellow, I didn't stand a chance and he was attracted to some fluzzy (my own short comings and insecurities, notwithstanding ;)). So I definitely know where you are coming from.

You know what everyone always told me? That I was trying too hard. That it would happen with time and when I least expected it/wasn't looking for it. And you know what else? They were completely right. When I became more comfortable with myself, when I started enjoying life for whatever it simply was (versus looking for an SO), and when I went, oh, well, THEN I met my husband. Much, much better than all the forced dating I was doing prior to that as well. :D He was definitely worth the wait and settling myself down for. Sadly, you'll only be able to do this when you feel it inside. Sucks, I know, but there's just no other way 'round to it. It will happen though. I promise.

So in conclusion, you'll be there before you know it. Hang in there and, when the time does come (as cryptic that pathetically sounds), it'll be awesome. And you will be great. There'll be some wonderful girl who'll be absolutely bowled over by the nice guy that is you. You watch.

[Blonde]

Originally posted by Pablito
So who get's to start the pit thread for Adman? His posts continue Ad nauseum.


Do we have enough bandwidth for that thread?

[Siege]

Actually, Adman, I have some rather serious advice for you, although whether you'll take it from me, who knows. If you have been having a problem with women lying there like "dead fish", it could be for one or more of several reasons unrelated to whether or not the woman's a virgin. From what I know of women who have been sexually abused, lack of responsiveness is one possible reaction. I'll let someone else who knows more about it explain the psychology behind it. Another possibility is, I'm afraid, that your technique may be lacking. This is not meant as an insult, but another possible explanation. From what I've seen of you, you're not that much of an expert on human sexuality, and some women would find the attitude you've expressed toward women discouraging. It also comes across as selfish. If you're selfish in your posting style, it suggests to me that you're likely to be selfish in bed. Basically, you come across as so focused on your own orgasm that you may not be aware that some of us are not only capable of having more than one, we're capable of giving gentlemen more than one, too.

Ryan Liam, do hang in there. Check out the recent threads on Do's and Don't's for dating -- rudeness was pretty much a don't for everyone. I'm someone who won't date someone who isn't nice, but has backed off from guys who are "too nice." In this case, what I meant by that was "They were doormats." Don't make a woman the center of your world on your first date or when you first meet her. Don't lie on your back and let her walk all over you. I know I need a man with a bit of spirit, one who can stand up to me. I don't want someone who'll worship at my feet; I want someone who'll stand by my side.

CJ

[Guinastasia]

First-Adman, get out. Seriously. If you're going to refer to people as "shitty virgins", then why the hell would they want to have sex with you?

And on the "nice guy" bit-any guy who starts ranting about this majorly trips my suspicions. I've heard too many guys whine about being "nice" when they were actually manipulative, passive-aggressive doormats.

The Not So Nice Guy (http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml)

[iampunha]

How about nice girls who know how to be sexually aggressive when it's appropriate and also know how to let you know they want *you* to be the aggressor?

Unfortunately, that would require that they get to know you, Adman, which mercifully seems not to be the case. There goes my scheduled 9:00 "Weep for womankind".

[Blonde]

Originally posted by Guinastasia
First-Adman, get out. Seriously. If you're going to refer to people as "shitty virgins", then why the hell would they want to have sex with you?

And on the "nice guy" bit-any guy who starts ranting about this majorly trips my suspicions. I've heard too many guys whine about being "nice" when they were actually manipulative, passive-aggressive doormats.

The Not So Nice Guy (http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml)


Well said - and, my, what a big post count you have, Guinastasia!

I'm very new to the board, and as a general rule, tend to choose my battles wisely. However, I personally wonder if the OP has ever said, directly to a woman's face: "Put out or get out." My response to that (and I'm no virgin) would be "Fuck off, and go jerk off."

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by Goo
I married the nicest guy in the world (sorry, girls, he IS ;) ) No, I married the nicest guy in the world. :p

He's a sexy motherfucker too. :D

[Adman]

Tell me this? Why waste money to go home and jerk off?? And why marry someone who's never had sex? Ryan, you seem like a cool guy, but chics will walk all over you, take your money and screw your best friend if you don't show them who's boss. Here you go... Be nice but don't let the bitchy one's get too close. Babydollski... Go back to your little radio station board with all the other losers and go make fun of the people there, seeing how you are no good at it. And finally for those who actually have a set of balls, the key to getting the booty is when the chic doesn't know you're moving in and not speaking informally like I always do when I'm away from them. If you know how to push their buttons, you'll never get played or waste your time with a sexual retard. Out.

[Azure Eternity]

Originally posted by Ryan_Liam

But do you know what? They like bad guys and I haven't seen any other evidence that they do not, I have tried and tried and tried to find out in my area and others if the girls liked nice guys and do you know what? The quote 'nice guys finish last' is absolutely true, all we have to wait for is girls who have had sexual partners who have messed them about and we have to deal with it. I think I'm being terribly sexist, and a moron, I apologise for that, but what else can I say? There just doesn't seem to be any positive aspects of being one.

Hey Ryan. I'm a sixteen-year-old girl and I haven't dated yet either. Why? I'd say it's because I like nice guys and there are too few of them out there. My current crush is third in his class, on math team, in the IB program, recipient of an award for character, and one of the nicest people (male or female) that I've met. Unfortunately, he's also a friend of my brother's and about to go off to college - so not really any possibility there. Anyway, I certainly don't prefer bad guys. I don't know how you act IRL, but I have to say that the massive generalization about girls is not terribly attractive and makes for an unfavorable comparison to the "bad guys" you are railing against.

[Czarcasm]

That will be quite enough out of you, Adman.

[Blonde]

Originally posted by Czarcasm
That will be quite enough out of you, Adman.


Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

[Sublight]

"Chics who put out vs. nice girls"

Stock wiseass answer #475

That would be worth $4.95 to see on pay-per-view!