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04-13-1999, 11:19 PM
I remember reading Drew Carey's 101 Big Dick Jokes. It was hilarious. Judging from the wit I see collected here, we should come up with some good ones. So, anybody know any good big dick jokes?
Here's mine:
My dick is so big, I'm taller lying down than standing up.

04-14-1999, 02:09 AM
Am I the only person who thought this would be a thread with jokes about Dallas?

------------------
Ranger Jeff
The Idol of American Youth

That would be the easy way, but it wouldn't be ...
The Cowboy Way

04-14-1999, 10:11 AM
Nope, he got me, too, Jeff. Could be because I can relate to Dallas...

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Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick it once and you will suck forever.

04-14-1999, 11:45 AM
[[Nope, he got me, too, Jeff. Could be because I can relate to Dallas...
------------------
Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. ]] Dr. J


Great post/sig combo.

04-14-1999, 06:22 PM
Being the optimistic, sunny person that I am, I thought that Big D stood for Death!

04-14-1999, 08:05 PM
Thanks, Papabear.

And also, my dick is so big, people stand in line to get autographs from my dick.

04-15-1999, 12:58 AM
If I'm not mistaken, Beeruser wants reolpies along the following lines:

"My dick is so big they had to put it in drydock before I could get a vasectomy!"

04-15-1999, 10:20 AM
I knew exactly what the "D" stood for. :::blush:::

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>^,,^<
KITTEN
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabisad capul tuum saxum
immane mittam.

04-15-1999, 05:14 PM
"My dick is so big...that when it starts to show any signs of life I pass out for the lack of blood...."

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Cogito Ergo Vroom
I think therefore I ride fast...

04-15-1999, 08:12 PM
"My dick is so big I could have one leg amputated and still be able to run the 100 meter dash!"

04-15-1999, 08:51 PM
since I'm a female, I can't claim to have the biggest dick, but here's a little gem from my boyfriend...

My dick is so big, I have to buy two tickets in order to get in to see the movie

04-16-1999, 01:57 AM
Here's my humble contribution..

Q: What's a guy with a 12 inch dick eat for breakfast?


A: Well, this morning I had eggs, toast, coffee, etc.


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"And little Sir John and the nut brown bowl proved the strongest man at last"

04-16-1999, 07:15 AM
My dick is so big, I use a whole bar of soap to wash my dick.

04-16-1999, 08:18 AM
Beeruser, pretty lame dick jokes! I know this isn't along the same line, but here goes:

A man decides to get his girlfriend's name tattooed onto his penis. He goes to the tattoo parlor and gets "Wendy" tattooed. However, when limp, you could only see "WEY". The next week ,the man walks into the public restroom and see a very large black man at the urinal. Glancing down, he see that the black man has a tattoo on his penis that reads "WEY".

"Oh, you have a girlfriend named Wendy, too?" asks the man as he points to his tattooed penis.

"No," says the black man, "it says "Welcome to Jamaice, have a nice day".

04-16-1999, 06:56 PM
[[Here's my humble contribution..
Q: What's a guy with a 12 inch dick eat for breakfast?


A: Well, this morning I had eggs, toast, coffee, etc. ]] Little Sir John Barleycorn


The way I've heard (and told) it is that you ask some guy the question, and when he says, "I dunno," you reply, "I didn't think so."

04-17-1999, 06:28 PM
I may as well submit this one:

I'm hung like a newborn baby ...

19 inches and 8 pounds.



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Ranger Jeff
The Idol of American Youth

Always drink upstream from the herd.

04-18-1999, 07:53 AM
umm... I got another one.

My dick is so big, when I can't find the tip, I need to ask for directions.

04-18-1999, 09:45 AM
I'm trying real hard not to keep contributing to this thread but the 14 year old in me keeps coming up with replies that just can't be, well, suppressed.

"My dick is so big I have to order my condoms from Ringling Bros."

04-20-1999, 02:38 PM
I've got a neat trick. I can make my dick 12 inches long. Know how I do it? I fold it in half.

04-20-1999, 11:02 PM
I have a tattoo of a fly on the head of my dick......but when i get excited, it's a 747!!

04-20-1999, 11:37 PM
"My dick is so big I have to order my condoms from Ringling Bros."

Wow, I didn't realize Ringling provided special condoms for their midget circus clowns.

(Should that be "little circus clown people"? "Vertically challenged circus clowns"? "Circus clowns of diminutive stature"?...)

04-21-1999, 08:07 PM
A white man and a black man are taking a leak. The white man notices the black guy and says "Boy, I sure wish I had a dick like that." The black man says "All you have to do is tie a string around it with a weight on the other end."
A week later the the two guys meet.
How's it working out?
I'm halfway there already.
What do you mean halfway?
Well, it's already turned black.

04-22-1999, 11:11 AM
- - - !

- My dick is so big, whenever I want a head job, my girlfriend hires a stunt double.

- My dick is so big, I teach my sperm tricks and sell them to Sea World.

- My dick is so big, women have to chew before they swallow. (-not mine, but pretty good)

- MC

04-23-1999, 01:24 AM
This one's a little off topic. Wrinkled maybe, not big.

An old man and an old lady are sitting in a rest home. The old lady turns to him and says, "I bet I can guess how old you are."
The old guy says, "oh yeah? Go ahead and try."
She says, "ok, unbutton your pants".
He figures it's a little strange, but he does it. She reaches in his fly and feels around for a couple of minutes. Finally, she says, "83, right?"
He says, "yeah, how did you figure that out?"
she says, "you told me yesterday".


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"Wait, you dropped your phony dog poo."

"What phony dog poo?"

04-23-1999, 05:35 PM
My dick is so big, when I was circumcised I had my foreskin made into a wallet; rub it, and it turns into a suitcase.

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While the early bird may get the worm, it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

05-02-1999, 09:16 AM
My dick is so big, you can see it from space.


------------------
¾È ³ç

05-02-1999, 01:14 PM
What do you get if you cross a penis with a potato?

A Dictator!

05-03-1999, 12:58 AM
I couldn't resist replying to this:

A woman walks up to the big, gorgeous cowboy. She looks him in the eye and asks, "So Tex, just how big is it?" He replies,"6 inches, m'am" Her face drops. "Is that all, my baby brother is bigger than that." The cowboy looks confused. He asks,"In diameter m'am?"

05-03-1999, 04:50 PM
Ok it's kind of a big d joke.

There is a little mouse in the jungle and it has gotten itself trapped in a hole made by the footprint of an elephant. Try as he might the little mouse can't get out. Lo and behold along comes an elephant and the mouse begs him for help to get out. The elephant likes to be begged, and watching the little mouse struggle has made him aroused. His dick starts to grow and grow. Eventuall it is long enough for the little mouse to climb up and get out of the hole.

Some days go by and the situation is now reversed. The elephant has become stuck in a pit when along comes little mouse. This time the little mouse watches the struggling elephant and becomes aroused. The mouse's dick starts to grow and grow but it's still not big enough to help the elephant. So the little mouse gets into a black Porsche, throws the elephant a rope and proceeds to pull him out.
The moral of the story: If you have a black Porsche you don't need a big dick. ;)

05-03-1999, 05:24 PM
"My dick is so big I'm unable to have sex with any women in my time zone!"

05-03-1999, 06:48 PM
Two guys wizzing over the side of a bridge:
"That water sure is cold!"
"yeah, deep too..."

05-03-1999, 10:06 PM
Two guys wizzing over the side of a bridge:

lol, that was great!



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¾È ³ç, ÁÖ µ¿ ÀÏ

05-04-1999, 05:56 PM
an interactive joke for guys but I suppose women could do it too!
Get a dollar bill and tuck it into your belt so that most of it hangs down toward your penis. Ask a female (or male) "what is this"
Answer: All you can eat under a dollar...
I never said it was a good joke.

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Libby's Mom
Sandra

05-12-1999, 07:25 AM
The last girl I asked out said she'd only date me if I had a 12" dick; hell, I ain't cutting 2" of my dick for anybody.

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It only hurts when I laugh.

08-04-1999, 04:37 PM
Sorry it took me so long to see this thread, I do have one or two of these jokes:

"My Dick Is So Big", by Revtim and Revjohn
============================================
My Dick is so big you need a fishing license to take a sperm sample.
My Dick is so big I'm not supposed to operate it after taking NyQuil.
My Dick is so big scientists think it may have killed the dinosaurs.
My Dick is so big it started its own record label.
My Dick is so big it’s registered by the Dep’t of Interior as a "Geological Feature used Primarily for Recreation".
My Dick is so big 46 Haitians floated to Florida on it.
My Dick is so big I won the Olympic pole-vault gold medal in Atlanta with it.

My Dick is so big, my sperm have to take the subway.
My Dick is so big, Oprah choked on it.
My Dick is so big, it has several moons in orbit around it.
My Dick is so big, it flys non-stop to London
My Dick is so big, girls need an oxygen mask when they blow me.

My Dick is so big I can fuck a Russian on Mir while still on the ground.
My Dick is so big Spielberg is filming "Jurassic My Dick"
My Dick is so big the doctor used a backhoe to give me a vasectomy.
My Dick is so big it was banned by the SALT2 treaty.
My Dick is so big David Copperfield made it disappear.
My Dick is so big it seats a family of six.
My Dick is so big there's a show on Fox, "When My Dick Attacks"

My Dick is so big you can drive from Alaska to Siberia on it.
My Dick is so big Exxon rents it for offshore drilling
My Dick is so big when I piss, flood warnings are issued
My Dick is so big they are resculpting the Washington Monument in its honor
My Dick is so big it popped out of my girls mouth while I fucked her doggie style

My Dick is so big it has an entourage.
My Dick is so big it fought Godzilla.
My Dick is so big The Stones open for it.
My Dick is so big it obscures satellite photos.
My Dick is so big it won’t share top billing.
My Dick is so big when I get hard on the beach it violates Cuba’s air space.
My Dick is so big that George Lucas can’t afford to CGI it in Episode Two.

My Dick is so big it was in a GoodYear commercial
My Dick is so big it rides shotgun
My Dick is so big the head has a blinking red light on top
My Dick is so big the head needs to decompress after a swim
My Dick is so big Cunard wants to buy it.

My Dick is so big that the last chick I fucked said "My God, it’s full of stars!"
My Dick is so big that the US Dept of Justice tried to break it up into smaller dicks.

My Dick is so big the tip dials 10-10-321 when it calls my balls.
My Dick is so big it molested Michael Jackson.
My Dick is so big Suzanne Somers wants me to endorse her ‘Dickmaster’.
My Dick is so big Melville’s original title was "Moby My Dick".
My Dick is so big it won’t host Saturday Night Live, even though it was on the cast for 6 years.
My Dick is so big primitive cultures worship it as a deity.
My Dick is so big it has it’s own climate.
My Dick is so big a Starbucks opened in my scrotum.
My Dick is so big it has stadium seating.
My Dick is so big they found George Mallory’s frozen corpse on it, with two dead Sherpas.
My Dick is so big that when I beat off, the friction causes global warming.
My Dick is so big, it has a side job snaking out drains
My Dick is so big, A book was written: 20,000 leagues under my Dick
My Dick is so big, I'm going to throw it across the Hudson River and start charging a toll to cross it.
My Dick is so big, The State of Florida is envious of it's length
My Dick is so big, It took up two pages in the latest Rand McNally Atlas
My Dick is so big, it has it's own zip code
My Dick is so big, it just announced it's candidacy for president
My Dick is so big, I was arrested for stealing a Sequoia.
My Dick is so big, NASA modeled the Saturn V after it.

My Dick is so big it did stunt work in the movie 'Anaconda'.
My Dick is so big it took a team of lumberjacks to circumcise me.
My Dick is so big if I put a hat on it I can drive in the HOV lane.
My Dick is so big my Home Owner's Association's won't let me get a hard-on.
My Dick is so big it takes the Army Corps Of Engineers to clean up after I jack off.
My Dick is so big I can fuck a barrel of milk and make enough butter for the state of Wisconsin.
My Dick is so big I have to rack mount it when I get in my truck.
My Dick is so big I've been capitalizing the word "Dick" in all these dumb-ass juvenile jokes even though it's grammatically incorrect.

My Dick is so big it has it's own Congressman.
My Dick is so big it changed its name to "The organ formerly known as My Dick".
My Dick is so big I can fuck the hole in the ozone.
My Dick is so big that when I tap it after I piss, it registers 9.6 on the Richter scale.
My Dick is so bigthey wiped out the amazon rain forest to provide enough rubber for just one of my Trojans.
My Dick is so big that the shaft and each ball are their own independent sovereign states. It takes a trade agreement for me to come.
My Dick is so big NORAD goes to DEFON 4 every day when their radar picks up my morning wood.


MDISB it carries a dozen Polaris missles
MDISB I corn hole the Lincoln Tunnel
MDISB it seats six comfortably
MDISB Pink Floyd is touring it
MDISB Sammy Sosa wants to bat with it
MDISB it tans itself on Pad 39A
MDISB people is Roswell NM are still talking about my drive through town.


MDISB it has a permanent dark side.
MDISB they race my sperms in Mexico.
MDISB it does "stupid My Dick tricks" on the Letterman show.
MDISB it has it's own currency.
MDISB that the only man-made structure that can be seen from space is my erection.
MDISB it bends light.
MDISB it joined NATO.
MDISB it has a snow cap.
MDISB it bought Microsoft.
MDISB once I ejaculated and buried Pompeii.
MDISB my smegma is recognized as an official ecological disaster.
MDISB I can splooge satellites into orbit.
MDISB the natives on Skull island sacrifice virgins to it.

08-04-1999, 05:25 PM
Does "MDISB" now rival "MPSIMS?"

------------------
SoxFan59
"Its fiction, but all the facts are true!"

08-04-1999, 05:46 PM
My Dick is so big it demands it does the typing.
My Dick is so big it just was just signed by the Lakers for $136 million.
My Dick is so big it made Monica Lewinski blush.
My Dick is so big it has an upcoming Pay-per-view event for $89 a pop.

08-05-1999, 09:55 AM
Here's another contribution to the delinquency.
So there are these two nurses in a hospital, that have to shift out and take turns bathing this dude that has recently had a vasectomy. Of course they notice that he has sort of a small wanger, and that it has some sort of small black mole looking thing on it. The guy asks one of the nurses out on a date, and she consents. The next day, she comes in looking very frazzled and tired. Her nurse friend asks how the date went and the girl replies, "You know that mole on his dick, well it is not. It is an advertisment that says 'Eat at Charlie's - Kalamazoo, Michigan.'"

Here is another one:
There are two gay guys in the john, both standing at the urinal doing their buisness. One peeks over and notices that the other one has a nicotine patch on his member. Inquiring, he asks the guy, "Does that thing really work?" He replies, "Sure, I'm down to two butts a day."

08-06-1999, 12:23 AM
My Dick is so big, when I get an erection it pulls my eyebrows down to my neck.

08-06-1999, 12:36 AM
My dick is so big it doesn't return Spielberg's calls.

Revtim
03-03-2000, 08:01 AM
My dick is so big MCI wants to use it as a transmission tower.

My dick is so big it almost joined the Republican ticket, but G.W Bush didn't want a bigger dick than he was in the party.

the first supraliminal
03-03-2000, 08:37 AM
Wow, this thread still exists?

My dick is so big, that when I come, clowns jump out of my dick.



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There's always another beer.

Revtim
03-03-2000, 09:04 AM
MDISB that if I were to take Viagra, it would shift the Earth's orbit.

Chef Troy
03-03-2000, 09:15 AM
MDISB that when I get aroused, I look like I'm riding a pogo stick.

------------------
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

Revtim
03-03-2000, 01:09 PM
MDISB there’s a new show on FOX, “Who wants to marry My Dick?”
MDISB that when I announced that I was going to the Mustang Ranch in Nevada, all the girls that work there quit and became nuns.
MDISB that the tip celebrated Y2K 12 hours before my balls.
MDISB that when I swim in the Sea Of Japan whalers try to harpoon it.
MDISB that when my mom was pregnant with me, by the second trimester she looked like she had 3 legs.

Crystalguy
03-03-2000, 06:01 PM
The tatoo on my dick says "Shorty" until I become aroused. Then it says, "Shorty's Bar and Grill, Fifth and Main, Abilene, Kansas."

Great Dave
03-03-2000, 06:33 PM
Stop making jokes about me.

Oh, big dick jokes. Nevermind.

My contribution:
So a mouse is walking through the jungle, and finds an elephant in agony.
"What's wrong?" asks the mouse.
"I have a thorn in my foot, and I can't get it out. I'd do anything to get rid of it," says the elephant.
"Anything?"
"ANYTHING. It hurts so bad."
"Okay, I can take it out for you. But you have to let me fuck you."
"Whatever, just pull the thorn out!"
So the mouse pulls out the thorn, the elephant gets up and starts to walk away.
"Hey! You promised me a fuck!" yells the mouse.
"All right, all right. Have your fun."
The mouse climbs up, and starts doing the elephant. A monkey up in a tree, finding this fantastically humourous and in uncontrolable laughter, drops the coconut he was eating on the elephant's head.
"Ow!" said the elephant said.
The mouse replied,


"That's right, take it all, bitch!"

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It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put the boogers

Babar714
03-03-2000, 10:03 PM
from Roxanne:

Your dick was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late!

G.B.H. Hornswoggler
03-04-2000, 12:40 AM
My dick is so big I can't ride in the subway, 'cause the trains get jealous.

My dick is so big that I'm opening a theme restaurant in Times Square called Planet My Dick.

My dick is so big I have to aim it down so it doesn't knock low-flying aricraft out of the sky.

My dick is so big that the tip gets sunburned before I wake up at dawn.

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...but when you get blue, and you've lost all your dreams, there's nothing like a campfire and a can of beans!

Ike Witt
03-04-2000, 10:58 AM
The other day I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said, "My other car is a big dick. Wanna ride?"

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Sometimes you feel like a coconut, sometime you feel like a yak.

Sealemon88
03-04-2000, 11:08 AM
Reusing a joke from another post:

My Richard is so big, I have to use a seven letter term for it. Four letters isn't enough.

Another new show on Fox: When My Big Richard Attacks.

MRISB, I have to wrap it around myself to keep it from dragging. I look like a flesh-colored Michelin Man.

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You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

Revtim
06-06-2000, 06:37 PM
MDISB it has tourists.

MDISB China considers it a "rogue province" and is threatening to invade it.

UncleBeer
06-06-2000, 06:52 PM
Tim, you gotta work a little faster on your material. That's twice you've revived this, ya big dick.

CheapBastid
06-06-2000, 07:19 PM
My dick is so big, right now it's in the other room making us drinks.
My dick is so big, it has its own dick, and even my dick's dick is bigger than yours.
My dick is so big, when I get a boner, it affects the tides.
My dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures.
My dick is so big, NASA has launched space probes to find the end.
My dick is so big, I could wear it as a tie, but I'm too afraid of getting a hard on and choking myself.
My dick is so big, it won't return Speilberg's phone calls.
My dick is so big, movie theater popcorn now comes in "Small", "Medium", "Large", and "My Dick"
My dick is so big, there's a shoe called "AIR my dick"
My dick is so big, I finally figured out a good use for a woman with a mouth as big as yours.
My dick is so big, you're standing on it.
My dick is so big, I need a blood transfusion to get fully erect.

Silo
06-06-2000, 08:04 PM
MDISB it accounts for all the missing matter in the Universe.

Lux Fiat
06-07-2000, 01:28 AM
MDISB it thinks Satan is being totally hypocritical by writing that, because it's seen threads by him that are exactly what he's ranting about in his OP, and furthermore...

Whoops, my bad. Wrong resurrected thread.

Revtim
06-07-2000, 08:17 AM
Tim, you gotta work a little faster on your material. That's twice you've revived this, ya big dick.


Hey, excuse me for having a life other than the SDMB. Ya little dick!

MDISB it has a life-size tattoo of the Great Wall of China on it.
MDISB that when I swim in the ocean and get ”shrinkage”, sea level drops three feet.
MDISB I ordered “all-u-can-eat” at the Mustang Ranch and put it out of business
MDISB the pope kissed it after his plane landed on my balls.

Revtim
06-07-2000, 08:22 AM
MDISB when I do porn it has to be on IMAX.

Revtim
06-08-2000, 09:00 AM
MDISB I needed to get a license to operate heavy machinery before I could legally masturbate.

Revtim
09-05-2000, 01:13 PM
MDISB that when it collided with a Russian submarine, it barely got a bruise but the sub sank.

MDISB it caused a 6 car pileup when one of its Firestones blew out.

Revtim
12-07-2000, 03:25 PM
MDISB it's responsible for most of the pregnant chads.
MDISB when I told Gore its length, he demanded I recount the inches.
MDISB when I told Bush its length, he said his was bigger, but his lawyers wouldn't allow me to complete an accurate measurement.

Revtim
12-11-2000, 05:17 PM
MDSIB it won’t officially be the new millennium until every one of its time zones hits Jan 1 2001.
MDISB that I can make it a white Christmas in any climate just by splooging.
MDISB that it took every elf to make my gift of a condom that fits, which is why you’re getting a lump of coal this year.
MDISB it’s on every woman’s list, but it won’t fit down the chimney.
MDISB I hang mistletoe on the end and can legally kiss women across state lines.
MDISB my sperm are pulling Santa’s sled this year.


From RevJohn:
MDISB one load of semen will make 25,000 splooge turkeys for the homeless this holiday
MDISB it's in concert with Perry Como this year.
MDISB There is a world shortage on Holly after they decorated it.
MDISB my balls will drop in Times Square this New Years
MDISB it's the official mascot of Kwanza this year
MDISB Dick Clark wants to book it for his Rocking New Years Eve
MDISB it has a star on top of it in Downtown Delray*.
MDISB Santa traded his sled for it's huge cargo area.
MDISB I have a family of elves living in it.

[*Editor's note: In this area, the city of Delray Beach hosts a gigantic (fake) Christmas tree every year.]

Mark IV
01-19-2001, 01:03 PM
Originally posted by Ranger Jeff
Am I the only person who thought this would be a thread with jokes about Dallas?

------------------
Ranger Jeff
The Idol of American Youth

That would be the easy way, but it wouldn't be ...
The Cowboy Way



I too had a Dallas joke ready, but now the penis topics seem to ruin this board. Why do people trick you into reading something dirty by having a clean title? Is that how they get their sexual excitement?

UncleBill
01-19-2001, 03:44 PM
MDISB Saddam Hussien tried to use it as a weapon of mass destruction.

MDISB I caused the Mars Lander to crash when my spooge hit it on final approach.

MDISB the metric system does not have a prefix big enough to describe it's length.

MDISB my balls root for the Miami Heat and my head follows the Portland Trailblazers.

MDISB the world land speed record is held on the Great Salt Flat Part of My Dick.

MDISB Juan Valdez says it is the Richest, Most Aromatic Dick in the World.

MDISB I got an erection at the top of the Straight Tower of Pisa and screwed it ALL up.

MDISB the mythical Tower of Babel was just me touring Iraq.


It's a hoot reading this ancient thread. It actually was getting me a little randy. Hmm... Woah, Boy!..... Getting woozy... head spinning.....

::passes out from lack of blood to brain::

Revtim
01-19-2001, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by Mark IV
I too had a Dallas joke ready, but now the penis topics seem to ruin this board.

MDISB it ruined this board.

Revtim
06-15-2001, 11:25 AM
MDISB it revived this thread to save it from being purged.

MDISB Dubya Bush is touring it to gain ABM support from my balls.

MDISB they almost executed McVeigh by hanging him from it.

thinksnow
06-15-2001, 11:55 AM
MDISB Boeing is naming their next plane the 7-mydick-7.
MDISB I have the complete number Pi tattooed on it in #12 font.
MDISB, when I go out West, I have to get MD it's own snowboard.
MDISB Courtney Love said it was too big for her.
MDISB firemen climb it to rescue people from burning buildings.
MDISB FOX is doing a show saying they think they've found the remains of Noahs Ark somewhere on it.
MDISB, there actually is snow on the top of it.

MaxTheVool
06-15-2001, 06:45 PM
My Dick is so long that I wet my pants when I was 3 years old, and it's still making its way through My Dick

Will Repair
06-16-2001, 12:40 AM
Originally posted by Ranger Jeff
Am I the only person who thought this would be a thread with jokes about Dallas?

Yes! Big D means Denton.

THE Trivia Game is "Small Towns in Texas."

Where are "The Lights?"
Marfa

Where is "The Whitest People and the Darkest Land"
Greenville.

11811
06-16-2001, 01:27 PM
Originally posted by Sappo
I couldn't resist replying to this:

A woman walks up to the big, gorgeous cowboy. She looks him in the eye and asks, "So Tex, just how big is it?" He replies,"6 inches, m'am" Her face drops. "Is that all, my baby brother is bigger than that." The cowboy looks confused. He asks,"In diameter m'am?"

Or "from the ground m'am?"

Revtim
10-04-2001, 08:02 AM
MDISB the phrase "meat is murder" was originally about me.

postcards
10-04-2001, 08:12 AM
Originally posted by Revtim
My Dick is so big it has it's own Congressman.
[/B]

Oh, wait. That IS my congressman!

RickJay
10-04-2001, 09:12 AM
My dick is so big it got 5000 votes in West Palm Beach.
My dick is so big it's pulling Voyager back.
My dick is so big Osama bin Laden wants to fly a plane into it. (Sorry.)
My dick is so big conspiracy theorists claim nobody's been to its head.
My dick is so big it's outselling Pepsi.
My dick is so big I'm orbiting it.
My dick is so big it gets pulled into truck weigh stations.
My dick is so big it has arrestor wires and a steam catapult.
My dick is so big that when I'm taking a bath, I can hear its sonar.
My dick is so big it has its own photo ID.
My dick is so big it sells me insurance.
My dick is so big it's going back to college.
My dick is so big I have to transport it on a flatbed.
My dick is so big it's dating Julia Roberts.
My dick is so big BASE jumpers are always coming by my house.
My dick is so big it's on the U.N. Security Council.
My dick is so big it issues stamps.
My dick is so big it interferes with your radio reception.
My dick is so big they're marketing it as an SUV.
My dick is so big it has a cameo on "ER" next week.
My dick is so big it pays income tax.
My dick is so big it has a nicer office than I do.
My dick is so big it has broadband.
My dick is so big it sells franchises. Soon your dick will be a part of my dick's chain.
My dick is so big it directed a Britney Spears video.
My dick is so big it has a publisher.
My dick is so big that when it gets hurt CNN runs special reports called "Crisis: My Dick."
My dick is so big it manages a restaurant.
My dick is so big it has a reception desk.
My dick is so big it ate the Crocodile Hunter guy.
My dick is so big that when I go to the zoo, the bull elephants feel insecure.
My dick is so big it charges $450 an hour for consulting.
My dick is so big the Broncos drafted it.
My dick is so big it signed a peace treaty with Israel.

bigjohnson
10-10-2002, 12:35 AM
My dick is so big that, unfortunately, several women have refused to let me put it in them.

Revtim
03-10-2003, 04:22 PM
MDISB when I get naked they call it the Full Montgomery.
MDISB the UN classified it as a “weapon of mass insemination”.
MDISB I contaminated Ft. Lauderdale beach last week by washing it there.
MDISB I have to ejaculate in shifts.
MDISB they’re still searching it for Columbia debris.
MDISB the WB show “Everwood” is loosely based on it.