The best things to say to kids.

[Roadwalker]

While there is a thread around here polling bad things to say to kids, I thought we ought to remind each other of good things.

When I was a teenager, my dad was away somewhere and we were talking on the phone. Before we said goodbye he said:
“Hey! I’ve been bragging about you!”
I’ve never forgotten that.

[plain_jane]

"I believe you, and I'm going to help you."

"You are a wonderful person and I like spending time with you."

"Wow! What a great job you did!"

"I'm so proud of you!"

"I love you no matter what."

"Here's the keys to the car and fifty bucks and don't worry about your homework or chores, I did it all for you. See you whenever you get home!" Well, okay, maybe from the kid's point of view. :)

[tygre]

"Let's go get ice cream!" (or go out for dinner)

"You know, I'm really glad you're my kid!"

"I love you", which I say daily to my little ones (ages 3 and 6)

[Batsinma Belfry]

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

[Neurotik]

"I'm too tired to beat you tonight."


Just kidding.

[Neurotik]

I'd also like to point out that real child abuse isn't funny, I just thought it was an amusing juxtaposition.

[Chimera]

"Ninety percent of everything is crap. That applies to conversations, to things you buy, to the things you need to do, to the things you learn in school, to the People you meet, to the Secrets of the Universe. Keep that in mind as you grow up."

"Everybody in the world is going to tell you that you're supposed to be like them, to talk like them, to act like them. They're wrong. Be You, not them."

[Zenster]

"I love you."

Everything else is pretty much window dressing. (Not that window dressing is so very bad, mind you.)

[Tony Montana]

When my pops calls sometimes he'll say: "I just wanted to hear your voice son"

[DreadCthulhu]

"Don't tell your brothers and sisters, but you really are my favorite" :) :D

[3waygeek]

Originally posted by Chimera
"Ninety percent of everything is crap." Optimist.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Wow
Way to Go
Super
You'r Special
Outstanding
Excellent
Great
Good
Neat
Well Done
Remarkable
I knew you could Do it
I'm Proud of You
Fantastic
Supper Star
Nice Work
Looking Good
You're on top of it
Beautiful
Now You're Flying
You're Catching On
Now You've Got it
You're Incredible
Bravo
You're Fantastic
Hurray For You
You're on Target
You're on Your way
How nice
How Smart
Good Job
That's incredible*
Hot Dog
Dynamite
You're Beautiful
You're Unique
Nothing can Stop You Now
Good for You
I like you
You're a Winner
Remarkable Job
Beautiful work
Spectacular
You're Spectacular
You're Darling
You're Precious
Great Discovery
You've Discovered the Secret
You Figured it out
Fantastic Job
Hip, Hip, Hurray
Bingo
Magnificent
Marvelous
Terrific
You're important
Phenomenal
You're sensational
Super Work
Creative Job
Super Job
Fantastic Job
Exceptional performance
You're a Real Trooper
You are Responsible
You Are Exciting
You Learned it Right
What an Imagination
What a Good Listener
You are Fun
You're Growing up
You Tried Hard
You Care
Beautiful Sharing
Outstanding Performance
You're a Good Friend
I Trust You
You're important
You Mean A Lot to Me
You make me Happy
You Belong
You've Got a friend
You make me Laugh
You Brighten My Day
I respect you
You Mean the World to me
That's Correct
You're a Joy
You're a Treasure*
You're Wonderful
You're Perfect
Awesome A+ Job
You're A-OK
My Buddy
You Made My Day
That's The Best
A Big Hug
A Big Kiss
I Love You

* From a refrigerator magnet that is put out by a group called, Best Life.

Also it should be noted that tone of voice and body language are impoortant in the delivery of many of these. Complimentary words can be said quite easily in a manner that is more damaging than complimentary.

I really like Roadwalker and Tony Montana's. Going to remember them to use if the opportunity presents itself.

[Qadgop the Mercotan]

"You're going to be OK"

Invaluable advice from my dad, "Pops" Mercotan.

[Creaky]

"Never turn down anything that's free."

Honestly, that's the best thing my dad ever told me.

[StanDup]

...Fantastic, Supper star, Nice work

Mmm.. Supper star..

[Shrinking Violet]

"I always dreamed I'd have a son/daughter just like you" :)

Julie

[Lizard]

"It is impossible to overestimate how important a good reputation is. This applies to getting a job, getting a loan, and getting a girlfriend. Maintain your reputation at a high level, no matter the cost."

"Always listen to your instincts. If they say 'this person is full of shit,' then they are."

"Son (or daughter), I'm as proud of how hard you tried than I am of whether you ultimately won or lost. There is no shame in losing if you know you did all you could."

[phouka]

"You are such a neat kid! I'm so glad you're mine!"

Is it any wonder my mom is one of my best friends? :D

[aaslatten]

Go mow the lawn.

[lel]

"I'd love to (do something) with you."

I also thought immediately of zev_steinhardt's wonderful post about his children (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=121279) as just chock full of good things to say to your kids.

[Roadwalker]

"Okay, I'll sell you Park Place."

(Just said this afternoon.)

[jacksen9]

Be a good friend.

Read good books.

Take chances.

This too, shall pass.

Love Ya,

But...no

[ParentalAdvisory]

"I got the papers if you got the weed."

[Medievalist2]

"I love you the way you are."

[Blonde]

"You The Man!! Whoo-hoo!"

"I love you."

[!ceQueen]

Not my own invention, I've read somewhere. This has been said to an adopted kid.

"You are special because other kids have simply been born to me by chance, you I have chosen."

[Bad News Baboon]

My mom said to me once: You've made me a better person.

She also said to me once: I loved you since before you were born.
I never quite understood this, but I do now.

[guava]

Originally posted by DreadCthulhu
"Don't tell your brothers and sisters, but you really are my favorite" :) :D

My sister once told me "Mom says she likes me best." So I asked mom. She tried the "I love you both the same" business, but I wasn't buying it, so finally, she said "No, I like you best." It did NOT make me feel any better. Is there any good answer to this?

[XJETGIRLX]

I think the best thing my mom ever said to me wasn't praise per se. She once told me, "No matter how good you are at something, there's always going to be someone better."

Now, at first glance that may seem like a horrible thing to say to a child, but in reality it gave me the freedom to succeed at things without fearing failure. With the knowledge that there was always gong to be someone better out there, I was able to take my lumps in stride, knowing that I couldn't be the best necessarily, but I could be my best. Maybe that's cheesy, but it's something I've always appreciated, and I think I've succeeded in a lot because of it.

[flodnak]

Originally posted by guava
My sister once told me "Mom says she likes me best." So I asked mom. She tried the "I love you both the same" business, but I wasn't buying it, so finally, she said "No, I like you best." It did NOT make me feel any better. Is there any good answer to this? Stealing from Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish: Kids don't want to be loved "the same". Nor do they want to be loved more than their siblings, not really. What they want is to be loved and acknowledged as unique individuals. So a good answer would be to ignore the Mom-loves-me-best competition as much as possible and instead emphasize that Mom is not going to choose. Maybe something like "I can't compare how much I love two wonderful kids like you and your sister, like I could compare whether I like chocolate or vanilla ice cream better. You're not ice cream. You are my guava, and there's only one guava in the whole world." And maybe go on to mention specific things Mom loves, without mentioning Sister any more.

And to add some things I find are important to say to my kids:
"I'm sorry."
"You were right, I was mistaken."
"I really appreciate what you did."
"That showed a lot of [loyalty, maturity, self-control, consideration...]!"
"I like spending time with you."
"You've gotten much better at that!"

My kids go to Montessori schools, and in Montessori theory the best praise is to show the child that you're paying attention to what they're doing. So instead of saying "Great drawing!", you sit down and say "Tell me about your drawing" and then really listen. Or you make a comment about the drawing, even if it's just something like "You used a lot of red. Are you in a red mood today?" I've found kids really warm to this, and it doesn't get old like "good job" does.

[plnnr]

"I love you" has to top the list.

My dad did tell me "The world doesn't care if you live or die, so you're better off living and living well," but that was when I was 30 years old. Pretty good advice, but maybe a bit strong for a toddler.

[Loneraven]

I was skimming through this thread this morning, when the phone rang - it was my father. He said, "Could you get the next train and come into town? I was going for coffee and I couldn't go without you."

He calls me up and says this about once a week. I love my dad. :)