Lucky Day

[Rue DeDay]

It was like I was mowing my lawn and this car stops. Three people get out and wave me over, not wanting to get too close to a running lawn mower. Anyway, two of them come over, the third goes over to the mailbox and starts chatting with it.
"Pardon me Sentient," the driver says. "We're not from around here. We're from..."
"Ecuador, say Ecuador" the second one prompts the first in a stage whisper. "No wait! Portugal. No, no! Belgium! Yeah, we're from Belgium!" This guy has a lot to learn about whispering.
"Ah Belgium!" the third one says to the mailbox. "The beautiful methane pools. The glint of the Primary Sun off the city domes before the Secondary rises..."
"We are from Belgium..."
"The birthplace of waffles!" helps the second, still not getting the whole "whispering" thing.
"We are from Belgium and would like help with our directionating. Could you tell we the way to the nearest petroleum distillates depot?"
"Gas station?" I hazard.
"Yes! Yes! Gas station. Could you tell we were it is?"
So I tell them and they get back in the car and drive off. But not before the first person says:
"Thank you! Thank you! For your being of helpfulness to us, you shall have great luckiness all day!"

It was like that, only completely different.

I guess I just had a pretty good day. Firstly, I didn't strangle the boys ALL DAY. That's always a good sign. I did get drunk on whine by the end of the day, but some things just can't be helped. (Especially when you STILL can't find that big roll of duct tape.) But I got a package. It's always good when you get a package. It was a big package too. It was about the size of a wooden shelf to a shelf kit I put together last week in a cardboard box for mailing. Actually it was exactly the size of a wooden shelf to a shelf kit I put together last week in a cardboard box for mailing. That would be, of course, because it WAS a wooden shelf to a shelf kit I put together last week in a cardboard box for mailing. While I was putting it together, I slipped and busted a shelf... I mean, the kit came with a defective shelf and I had to e-mail the shelf company to get a free replacement. And it came, so I could stick stuff on the top shelf now that there was a shelf there to put things on. My big tent lives up there now.

Then the regular mail came and I got a letter from Coleman. Remember a few weeks ago when I found a Coleman stove up in the attic (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=3550304#post3550304) of the new house? Well, the instructions to it just showed up. Not that I needed the instructions, because I had help from my friends (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=191958). But the instructions came, which reminded me that I was soaking the valve on the fuel tank in WD-40 for about a week (Because I forgot it? No way! I was letting the oil penetrate the jammed up parts. Yeah.) and I should see if I could get them apart. See, I loaded it up with new fuel and pumped it up with my new pump and turned the valve open on my new generator and put a match to the newly cleaned burner and... nothing. So I figured the fuel straw thingy was gummed up. Only I couldn't get at it because the parts were jammed and needed a good soaking of WD-40 to come apart. So I soaked the parts for a good long time and then took my wrench and... nothing. It was still froze up. So I whacked my wrench a couple of good ones with a hammer and got the whole mess apart. Whacking broken things with a hammer is a time-honored tactic in these parts. Sometimes it even works to my advantage. Sometimes it just makes me feel better to be whacking broken stuff with a hammer. Anyway, the fuel straw thingy was gummed up. But now I could clean it. So I cleaned it. You know what happened after that? I put it all back together. You know what happened after that? I refilled the fuel tank. You know what happened after that? I pumped it all up. You know what happened after that? I went out in the yard and lit the bad boy. I got one SPECTACULAR flare up. Then the stove lit! Yay! That was Good Thing #2.

You'd think that would be enough, wouldn't you? I sure did. But things got EVEN BETTER!

We were out of bread, (no, that's not the Good Thing, but it is integral to the Good Thing actually happening) and we went up to the Hostess Outlet store to stock up on bread. I like to get my bread there because, bluntly, it's cheap there. So I grab a bunch of bread and some hamburger buns and a box of Ding Dongs (for the Little Woman) and a box of Chocolate Cupcakes (again, Little Woman) and a box of raspberry sweet rolls (for me) and head for the friendly check-out lady. She told me I bought more than $5 worth of stuff (US) and since I bought more than $5 worth of stuff (US) I was entitled to a Free Pie!
"Why, I would be a fool to pass up Free Pie!" I thought. So I told the friendly check-out lady: "Why, I would be a fool to pass up Free Pie!" The friendly check-out lady told me something that utterly shocked me. Some people didn't take their Free Pie. Can you believe that? Qualifying for Free Pie and then not taking it? I thought those people were fools. Fools I say! So I told the friendly check-out lady "Those people were FOOLS!" and I took my Free Pie.


-Rue.

[welby]

See, here's my problem. I want to use Rue, you FOOL! to start my post, but there are so many foolish things it would just seem repetitive. But repitition could be a good thing, after all it might just get pounded into his skull so that he'll learn his lesson. Consider it my hammer for pounding broken stuff.

Rue, you FOOL! ALWAYS keep emergency stashes of duct tape around the house. If you don't you could wind up drinking in too much whine and end up with alcohol poisioning. Or pre-adolesence poisioning, which is even worse.

Rue, you FOOL! If you only got one measly flare-up you didn't clean the stove right. Any person in thier right mind would have had half a dozen flare ups. It's not fixed until you've broken it at least twice and injured yourself.

Rue, you FOOL! Why didn't you bust out the ol' Rue charm and convince the friendly checkout lady to put aside other people's free pies and give them to you? Because the only thing better than getting free pie is getting someone else's free pie.

But most importantly: Rue, you FOOL! You forgot to tell us what kind of pie!

-welby (Likes saying Rue, you FOOL way, way too much.)

[tanookie]

All I can say is I went to bed last night hoping that I would be the first one to post in today's MMP. This was my whole goal for the day! I figured with the munchkin getting us up so early lately that I was a shoe-in for first post. Then today what does my little alarm clock do?? She sleeps until almost 8:00!

So by the time I get her some breakfast and check the SDMB; Welby has taken all of my thunder away.

Guess my day is not going to be full of luckiness. Or was the extra sleep my bonus for the day? At the cost of not achieving my very important goal of first post in Rue's thread I'm not so sure.

Or maybe I just need a life :)

[Wintermute]

Why, Welby, wouldn't it be, "damn fine cherry pie"?

And I'll go ahead and say it:

Mmm, pie! ::drool::

(Wow, two sentences, two quotes. I need a life more than tanookie!)

[Parallax]

I'm just happy that the Evil House Alarm From Hell (TM) did not go off this morning. Sunday morning it went off from roughly 4:30 AM to 7:30 AM in random intervals so that sleep was impossible. I spent much of the time fantasizing about smashing the siren with a baseball bat.

[earthpuppy]

As coincidence would have it, some of these very same things came up over the weekend.

Though we did not have confused foreigners stop to ask directions to the nearest gas station, we did mow the lawn. Our strange next door neighbor likes to dump his wet, stuck-together grass clippings in a small pile at the property line between our houses. (It looks like a pile of horse manure). We still haven't figured out why he chose this spot, as it is visible from the street and is unsightly.

We also were unable to determine the location of our roll of duct tape (or if we had or had not used the last of that roll...which I doubt is the case because I am sure we would remember if we had used the last of a roll of duct tape, wouldn't anybody?). I came to the conclusion that somebody (not me) must have laid it down somewhere in the garage where it doesn't belong instead of where it should be stored, and thus cannot be located.

And, during our afternoon motorcycle ride, I noticed a bakery thrift store on our way to lunch, and thought I would like to go there and see what they had (maybe they give away free pie as well).

[tanookie]

Sorry Wintermute but no one needs a life more than I :) (I really should not be so proud of that fact!)

Parallax and I were in the kitchen as he was trying to make iced coffee and could not find the sugar. As I was smugly showing him the various containers of sugar I remarked that we got the biggest one from his mother as the store was doing a buy one get one free promotion and she couldn't use 10 pounds of sugar. Then I remembered it was flour she did that with. But she didn't used to take the free ones either... over the years I have badgered her into taking the free ones and giving them away (preferably to me but I don't want to be greedy :) So Parallax comments on her being like the people that won't take free pie! We then spent longer than I care to admit debating who the best recipient for the extra free pies would be and weighing their nutritional merit versus the sheer fact that the pie is free.

[Plankspanker]

nicked from Parallax's post
I'm just happy that the Evil House Alarm From Hell (TM) did not go off this morning.

lucky you. i got the Prank Caller From Hell® phoning me up at about 2 am...


Rue, i ran out of duct tape too this weekend. went to stick an FX pedal to the floor of a stage, only i didnt have enough of my favourite tape left :(
and dont forget, if we were'nt supposed to use percussive maintenance, the hammer wouldn't have been invented ;j

[Rue DeDay]

I may be a fool welby, but you... you are an idiot. "What kind of pie" indeed! Round pie! Pie is round no matter what lies they foisted on you in jommetry class. It's a nice round pie. (An' it has blueberry filling inside!)

Maybe next week, I'll hold off the MMp until you e-mail me and tell me it's OK to post it tanook'. Naw, that's too much trouble. I think you should just brew up a couple pots of coffe and stay up ALL NIGHT Sunday, just refreshing and refreshing the MPSIMS screen until the MMP shows up. Then you could get a jump on it. Now there's a plan!

Bad news Winnie. As said, it's blueberry pie. My other choices were strawberry or apple. They were out of the free cherry pie by the time I got there. That might be why people didn't want their Free Pie. They wanted the cherry and it was gone.

I don't drink coffe either. Not even if it's as black as midnight on a moonless night.

I hope the siren you were going to smash was the clock Parallax and not tanook'. Smashing the siren as in extrememly loud alarm would be OK. Smashing the temptress that leads you to your doom wouldn't be so good. Yeah, I know, there's the whole "doom" thing, but just think how swell it is to get there.

Maybe your neighbor is leaving the stuck together grass clippings for you as a gift earthpuppy. It's a bad gift no matter what, but isn't it "the thought that cpounts"? No, no it isn't. It's getting a GOOD gift that counts. The thought is something you couldn't even sell on eBay, so what good is that?

I gots me a big ol' hammer too Plankster. Four anna half pounds of whacking goodness. It's on nice whacking hammer.


-Rue. (with a big ol' hammer)

[Ellen Cherry]

** Bursts into the thread **

Ta-Daaaaah!! Did someone say CHERRY PIE ?? !!


crickets chirping

[Parallax]

Originally posted by Rue DeDay
Four anna half pounds of whacking goodness.

Sounds pretty kinky to me. Shouldn't you be doing that in private? :D

[welby]

IDIOT? All pies round? HAH! Somebody's an idiot here, as well as a fool and it's not ME!

For example Shepard's Pie (http://goveg.com/VegKit/newkitimages/SHEPHERDS-PIE.jpg) isn't round.

Nor is McDonald's apple pie. (http://www.mcdonalds.com/countries/usa/food/nutrition/menuitems/display/index.jsp?itemID=10005&mode=edit&subMode=&imageMode=large)

And let me point out that this (http://www.georgiaeggs.org/recipes/applepie.jpg) deep dish apple pie isn't round either.

Yet another example. (http://www.theapplecollection.com/Collection/objects/images/8131applepie.jpg)

And last, but not least, I might point out that Hostess Fruit Pies are not round, they are oblong and squarish and favored by Green Arrow (http://www.greenarrowfansite.com/resource/1970/h-greena1.jpg) , among other super heroes.

Fie! Fie upon you! I don't think you actually got a free pie, you just said it to make us all feel jealous.

[tanookie]

That's not Shepard's Pie! Where are the Spaghettio's (tm)?

Just to make you all go eeew... I am not joking. When I was a kid this is how my mom made Shepard's Pie and this is actually really yummy and a hit with most kids :)

from bottom to top:

cooked ground hamburger (one pound)
corn (one can)
mashed potatoes (one envelope)
spaghettio's (one can)
cheese (about 6 slices)

Bake in oven at 350 until cheese is all melty.

(yeah I know my mom's no betty crocker! you can use fresher stuff and actually mash up potatoes and stuff but that's how she made it)

[Wintermute]

All right, Tanookie, here's what a loser I am: the "Damn fine cherry pie" quote is from Twin Peaks. I don't even like Twin Peaks, I just got the quote from my sister. So I'm quoting a show I never watched. :rolleyes:

AND I went miniature golfing this weekend. On a Saturday night. With my sister and BIL. Yep, Ms. Third Wheel, that's me.

This is the downside of virtually dating a married man. Welby my Virtual Lover, is busy with his wife and leaves me home alone on a Saturday night. :(

[Plankspanker]

stealthily lifted from Rue's post of literary goodness
It's a nice round pie. (An' it has blueberry filling inside!)

They were out of the free cherry pie by the time I got there. That might be why people didn't want their Free Pie.

i dont get this. cherry pie is just wrong! it's soooo sweet that it makes my teeth feel like they're dissolving. give me good 'ol blueberry or apple any day!!!

[Parallax]

I know this wasn't a choice but pumpkin pie is the best.

[Plankspanker]

actually, now you mention it Parallax...

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

Originally posted by Rue DeDay
It was like I was mowing my lawn and this car stops. Three people get out and wave me over, not wanting to get too close to a running lawn mower. Anyway, two of them come over, the third goes over to the mailbox and starts chatting with it.
"Pardon me Sentient," the driver says. "We're not from around here. We're from..."
"Ecuador, say Ecuador" the second one prompts the first in a stage whisper. "No wait! Portugal. No, no! Belgium! Yeah, we're from Belgium!" This guy has a lot to learn about whispering.
"Ah Belgium!" the third one says to the mailbox. "The beautiful methane pools. The glint of the Primary Sun off the city domes before the Secondary rises..."
"We are from Belgium..."
"The birthplace of waffles!" helps the second, still not getting the whole "whispering" thing.
"We are from Belgium and would like help with our directionating. Could you tell we the way to the nearest petroleum distillates depot?"
"Gas station?" I hazard.
"Yes! Yes! Gas station. Could you tell we were it is?"
So I tell them and they get back in the car and drive off. But not before the first person says:
"Thank you! Thank you! For your being of helpfulness to us, you shall have great luckiness all day!"
-Rue.
God, I wish I could get that "terrifically inventive and funny creative writing thing" down. This is great, maybe even better than The Horror Of Blimps elsewhere on this board. The hamster is in a stubborn and recalcitrant mood, or I would try to find the thread and give the link.

[Kallessa]

Ha, ha! I know where my duct tape is!


And it's mine, all mine and you can't have it.



Unless, like, you really needed it, then, you know, I'd let you have some. I mean, you could use all that you needed, I wouldn't just let you have some and leave you with a half-duct-taped thingy. But if you used it all, I'd have to ask you to get me a new roll, because I can't be without duct tape and it's only fair for you to replace it if you used all of it. Well, if my roll only had a little bit left on it and you used the rest of it, I might not ask you to replace it, although it would be a nice thing to do, I mean, since I let you use the last of my duct tape and all.

[Mama Tiger]

No, no, no, people! You must NEVER run out of duct tape! With duct tape, a screwdriver, and a hammer, all things are possible!

We're stocked up on extra-strength duct tape now, it being hurricane season; in fact, Papa Tiger may find himself climbing a ladder in the 2-inch-an-hour rain later today to duct tape the one spot on the back gutter that always sags when it rains too hard so that the back of the house doesn't get totally flooded by our Buddy Bill. The only thing better than duct tape is HURRICANE TAPE! We're talking triple-thickness duct tape, so strong and powerful it could tie down Superman when he gets a full head of steam up! But we haven't been able to find any of that since Papa Tiger left Guam some years back. So we hoard the last half a roll for those TRULY special moments that require only the BEST duct tape.

No pies around here, though. Just fresh blueberries. In cream. Yummmm.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

Originally posted by welby
IDIOT? All pies round? HAH! Somebody's an idiot here, as well as a fool and it's not ME!


Quite right. I've had steak-and-kidney pie at The Old Kings Head in Santa Monica, and, so far from it being round, the vigorous imagination of the chef has taken the whole pie concept in a startlingly new direction. You don't get a pie as such; instead you get a bowl of the steak and kidney part (with all the other ingredients), topped by a freestanding pastry which has evolved, conceptually, from the crust.

(and before you all start going "ewww" at the kidney part, the whole thing tastes good. I doubt if I'd order kidneys by themselves, but I love s-&-p pie).

[Kallessa]

I thought pie are square.





On come on, someone had to say it. Might as well get it out of the way.

[lightingtool]

quietly stolen from Rue
It was still froze up. So I whacked my wrench a couple of good ones with a hammer and got the whole mess apart. Whacking broken things with a hammer is a time-honored tactic in these parts.Bolding mine, by the way.

Now Rue, I understand that whacking things with a hammer is an excellent way to make them work, but why did you have to hit your wrench? Did it insult you in some way? Was it mean? My wrench (a 6" crescent with a nice red handle) is sitting next to me right now. I've had it for about 8 years, and while I have used it as a hammer, I would never strike it with a hammer. It has become a part of me, something I use almost every day. Part of the handle is worn down from when it saved me from getting a bad rope burn on a very, um, sensitive part of me. It has various dings and nicks to remind me of all the things I've whacked before, that have travelled in and out my door. I dug them all the most, that's why I wrote this post, to all the things I've whacked before. It's a good wrench. I would never hit it. Why, Rue, oh why did you hit your poor friend, your companion, your wrench with a hammer?

Moving on, in Steve Marin's play Picasso at the Lapin Agile, there is a long discussion of pie shapes. If I can find it I'll post a link. Pretty funny stuff.

[Kn*ckers]

I thought Pi was irrational.


And I must shake my head sadly at the selection of Free Pies you were offered, Rue, because the BEST PIES EVER are Pumpkin, Lemon Meringue, and Strawberry Rhubarb (not necessarily in that order).

But beggars can't be choosers, and I guess ANY free pie is a good free pie.



Kn(when come back, bring...)ckers

[lightingtool]

Heh. That should be Steve Martin, not Steve Marin. Don't mind me.

[Kallessa]

Originally posted by Kn*ckers

But beggars can't be choosers, and I guess ANY free pie is a good free pie.


Kn(when come back, bring...)ckers


What about a cowpie? Huh? Huh? Would a free, fresh, steaming cowpie be a good free pie? Bet it wouldn't be.

[Parallax]

Originally posted by Kallessa
What about a cowpie? Huh? Huh? Would a free, fresh, steaming cowpie be a good free pie? Bet it wouldn't be.

Depends on the situation. If you are buying fertilizer for your garden a free cowpie would certainly be welcome. If you were playing cowpie bingo (I think that's the name of the game) a cowpie that landed in your square would be good.

[earthpuppy]

how 'bout if your neighbor left you cowpie-like piles of grass clippings every time he mowed? According to Rue, this could be a well-intentioned "gift"

[Rue DeDay]

Don't worry Ellen. Every time I think of cherry pie, I think of you. With ice cream on top. I had to take the jar of merischinos out of the fridge recently. It got too close to Mrs. Butterworth and... never mind. I was just thinking of you, that's all I'm saying.

I was in the garage Parallax. That's about as private as I can get around here. Sometimes you just have to be quick and furtive.

Looks like someone, and I'm not gonna name names here, is rounding up all the fraks of the pie world just to cover for himself. I mean him or herself. But there's definitely covering going on. And freaky pies. (Now where's Ex to take the heat off me?)

I ain't giving you any pie Plankspanker, doesn't matter what day. You'll just have to get yourself to the Hostess Outlet like everyone else. But they're probably all out of Free Pie by now. Maybe next time.

Ya know, (and you probably don't but there's always the chance you do) I had pumpkin pie for my birthday on several occasions. The occasions were always my birthday, but it happened more than once. Birthday Pie. And it was free since my Mom made it. She hardly ever charges me for Birthday Pie. She's real nice that way. Free Birthday Pumpkin Pie. With whipped cream on top.

Thanks Spectre. Glad you liked it. (Scylla is my grandpa, by the way. Fenris is my dad.)

If I used the last of your duct tape, of course I'd replace it Kallessa. Maybe even with that cool neon orange stuff. That stuff's just too jake. (But usually I stick (ha!) with the tried and true silver/ grey.)

It's "duct tape, two screwdrivers (slotted and Philips), and a hammer, and a can of WD-40" Mama. The tools that hold Western Civilization together.

OK lightingtool, here's why I had to whack my wrench. I tried turning the valve thingy with just my wench. I even went "HERRRRRRNKKK!!!" No soap. So I could have either admitted defeat (yeah right) or trot out the big guns. You know which way I went, because I already told you. I figured:
A. the wrench could take it (and I was right)
&
2. the stove was already broke (since it wouldn't work anyway) so there was no way to make it broker. ("Broke" being a pass/ fail state.)
So, bang, bang, bang on the wrench baby! (A hipper song too. Ha!) and all was well.

I've never had strawberry rhubarb KnPie Queen[/b]ckers[/b]. I'm not a big strawberry fan anyway, so I don't think I'll be running right out for some. But if it were free, I wouldn't say "eh, no thanks" because that's the best way to try new things. When you don't have to pay for it.

-Rue. (bang, bang, bang on the wrench, baby!)

[swampbear]

MMMMMMMMM.........Pie! I didn't have any pie this weekend, but I had cheesecake. Homemade cheesecake. A friend made it for me cause I had been in the hospital and he wanted to do something nice. So he made me a cheesecake. And we had strawberries to go on top if the cheesecake. MMMMMM........ cheesecake with strawberries. Matter of fact, I ate the last of the cheesecake with strawberries tonight after supper. I made meatloaf for supper. I had real mashed potatoes and some snap peas with the meatloaf. Then cheesecake with strawberries for dessert. YUM!

I've been gone all day in case y'all wandered why I haven't posted yet. I had to go to a meeting in Macon, GA. I went up there last night. Macon is bout a hundred miles from here, so that means I got to go last night cause the meeting started at eight this morning. So, last night I spent the night at a Holiday Inn in Macon, GA. I had dinner there. I had a steak. And I had some beer. So that was good. And I had dinner with some other people who were also attending the meeting and came to Macon, GA to spend the night. I know these people. We planned to meet last night and have dinner. It was good to see them before the meeting cause we got to bitch about how we wish we didn't have to go to this meeting cause we had a bunch of other stuff we coulda been doing instead. I like bitchin' about meetings I have to attend. It's fun! Specially if it's with people I like and don't get to see much. I didn't do anything with duct tape tho. And no strangers asked me for directions.

Fence guy started work on my fence today. It might get done by Thursday. That is if it doesn't rain any this week which it might cause there's this tropical storm which might become a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico. That usually means we'll get rain cause I ain't but about three hours north of the Gulf. The pool's done tho. I got in the pool on my float this weekend. I couldn't swim cause of the fact that I'm waiting for the hole in my right leg that got put there cause I had a heart catherization last week to heal. But, I could get on the float, so I did on Saturday. It was fun.

-swampbear (who had a couple beers before he wrote this)

[Quantum Butterfly]

Posted by Rue, of course!
So, bang, bang, bang on the wrench baby! Tiiiiiiin roof! RUSTED! :D

Loveshack, baby, love-shack...

[dwyr]

I'd like some pie please. Only possibly not blueberry. Cherry is the best if you make it with real pie cherries, the sour kind, not the sweet. My mom always made me a real cherry pie for my birthday. She was nice that way.

I had a fairly lucky weekend. Went out to a nice dinner Saturday at an asian-fusion kinda place in Louisville. Had their five course degustation menu. Pretty nice, but could have used more variety. I'm the adventurous sort of diner. Then I went to a show (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=194348). (Laugh at my pitiful excuse for a thread.) All in all, pretty good.

Today is not so lucky. Let me 'splain.
Way back in May I decided to replace the carpet in my bedroom with laminate flooring. Due to various mishaps it has taken until now to get it mostly done. It only lacks a few planks and some molding to be complete. But I seem to have trouble getting anyone to come and finish the durned thing. My brother and his family are coming to stay with me over the weekend and they're arriving Wednesday. The floor people were supposed to come early this morning but they didn't show. I called them up only to hear some lady say "Oh, I've got you down for tomorrow morning". She distinctly told me Monday morning when I talked to her last week. I've still got to move all the furniture back into the room and clean out the guest room so it'll be ready for company. And work at my job. I'm really, really, really, really unpleased with these people. I swore so much this afternoon, after finding out I lost half my hours of sleep for nothing, that my little black kitty ran and hid.

Anyone know any gruesome curses for flooring people?

Or for flooring the flooring people even?

[Kallessa]

People seem to be focusing on the pie, rather than on the aliens asking for directions. I wonder why?

I speculate it is because many people like pie better than aliens. I say many people because some people, me for example, don't like pie very much at all, although I am unwilling to say unequivocally that I like aliens better than I like pie. I like pies that have chocolate cookie crusts, and I would not turn down a piece of apple or lemon meringue pie made by my Mom (with her excellent pie crust), but ordinarily, I don't eat pie, and think that some pie crusts taste like cardboard (too many pie crusts in my experience have tasted like cardboard, but that is only my experience, so I won't imply that most pie crust tastes like cardboard, but enough have in my life that I just avoid all pies--unless made with chocolate cookie crusts). On the other hand, I have nothing against aliens, never having, to my knowledge, met any. It is possible that I have met aliens, but that they were more adept at concealing their alien-ness than the aliens that asked Rue for directions. I am willing to say that more people have had pie than have knowingly talked to aliens, and that therefore more people have an opinion on pies than on aliens. Which leads me back to our discussing pies more than aliens today.

If we were going to talk about aliens, I'd have to wonder why they would need to ask directions from Rue. Well, not just from Rue, but from anyone. I means, somehow they got here, so they must be able to read maps, and even if they didn't have a local map, it's pretty easy to find someplace to but a local map. Like at a gas station or . . . Oh, I guess that answers that question. Never mind.


I am very fond of cheesecake however.

[stargazer]

I worked most of the weekend. See, I work at a Private Christian University, in Conference Services, and we had 900 people arrive on campus this weekend. Nine hundred! It's the Free Methodist General Conference, and it's our biggest conference ever (well, ever since my boss or I can remember, but we've only been here 3 years). So I logged 39 hours of overtime last week. That's gonna be a great paycheck!

But I didn't have time to fix anything, 'cause I was working. And I live in a condo, so there's no lawn to mow. But Mr. Gazer fixed the towel bar last night, and he knows where the duct tape is. (Fun fact: Mr. Gazer has the or one of the first duct tape websites on the internet! He looked around for duct tape sites back in '95 and didn't find any, so he put one up.) I depend on him for duct tape-related things; it's kind of his specialty, and I don't want to step on his toes. (I'm a nice wife that way.) I do have my own set of tools, though -- I'm a modern woman, after all. I just let him play with the duct tape and fix broken things. Putting together new furniture from Ikea is my job. :D

Mr. Gazer's birthday is this weekend, and his sister is making him an open-face peach cream pie. He's very excited about that. I'd make him a pie, but I'll be working. My mother-in-law makes a grape pie in the fall. That sounds weird, I know, but it's REALLY GOOD. It's made with concord grapes, so it's all purple and mouth-staining and everything. Yum. Me, I make a honey-pecan-pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving time. That's my Thanksgiving contribution every year, along with the mashed potatoes and rosemary rolls.

Kallessa, my father-in-law makes cheesecakes. Yummy, yummy chocolate cheesecakes. He made our wedding cake: 5 tiers, 2 kinds of cheesecake. Mr. Gazer's favorite, which is chocolate-raspberry, and my favorite, which is chocolate-kaluha-espresso with hazelnut crust. People are still talking about it, almost 2 years later. :)

-stargazer (food again)

[dwyr]

Well, see, ever since the X-files beefed up the otherworldly tourist bureaus aliens have been a dime a dozen.

But pie, now, that's dessert!





Did I mention the lack of sleep?

[Kallessa]

Originally posted by stargazer


Kallessa, my father-in-law makes cheesecakes. Yummy, yummy chocolate cheesecakes. He made our wedding cake: 5 tiers, 2 kinds of cheesecake. Mr. Gazer's favorite, which is chocolate-raspberry, and my favorite, which is chocolate-kaluha-espresso with hazelnut crust. People are still talking about it, almost 2 years later. :)

-stargazer (food again)

And you didn't invite me to the wedding because . . . . ?

[Quantum Butterfly]

Posted by stargazer
He made our wedding cake: 5 tiers, 2 kinds of cheesecake. Mr. Gazer's favorite, which is chocolate-raspberry, and my favorite, which is chocolate-kaluha-espresso with hazelnut crust. People are still talking about it, almost 2 years later. Oh, my.

I think I need to go lie down now...

[Zenster]

People not taking a free pie? Why, that's downright un-American!

[Lissla Lissar]

Obligatory post- I want pie, but I had cake with chocolate sauce and dulce de leche this evening. There was no duct tape involved.

I have lots of duct tape. It doesn't make very good clothes. I know this because I made a skirt and a halter top out of duct tape for a friend once. It was not very comfortable. I don't recommend it, particularly for summer wear.

[Rue DeDay]

Pie is better than Aliens (And who said they were aliens? No one. You just inferred it.) because pie won't give you a rectal probe. Right there, that puts pie waaaay ahead.

Free pie? Oh, yes please.
Free rectal probe? No, no I don't think so.


-Rue. (pie please)

[swampbear]

Free rectal probe? Depends on who's offering and what kinda "probe" is gonna be used.

[welby]

Originally posted by swampbear
Free rectal probe? Depends on who's offering and what kinda "probe" is gonna be used.

Me.

Chainsaw.

[Plankspanker]

i had pie too last night! and it was apple!

[Wintermute]

Originally posted by Kallessa
People seem to be focusing on the pie, rather than on the aliens asking for directions. I wonder why?

I speculate it is because many people like pie better than aliens. I say many people because some people, me for example, don't like pie very much at all, although I am unwilling to say unequivocally that I like aliens better than I like pie. I like pies that have chocolate cookie crusts, and I would not turn down a piece of apple or lemon meringue pie made by my Mom (with her excellent pie crust), but ordinarily, I don't eat pie, and think that some pie crusts taste like cardboard (too many pie crusts in my experience have tasted like cardboard, but that is only my experience, so I won't imply that most pie crust tastes like cardboard, but enough have in my life that I just avoid all pies--unless made with chocolate cookie crusts). On the other hand, I have nothing against aliens, never having, to my knowledge, met any. It is possible that I have met aliens, but that they were more adept at concealing their alien-ness than the aliens that asked Rue for directions. I am willing to say that more people have had pie than have knowingly talked to aliens, and that therefore more people have an opinion on pies than on aliens. Which leads me back to our discussing pies more than aliens today.

If we were going to talk about aliens, I'd have to wonder why they would need to ask directions from Rue. Well, not just from Rue, but from anyone. I means, somehow they got here, so they must be able to read maps, and even if they didn't have a local map, it's pretty easy to find someplace to but a local map. Like at a gas station or . . . Oh, I guess that answers that question. Never mind.


I am very fond of cheesecake however.

I've met all sorts of aliens. Most of them were from Mexico or South America, but I knew a couple English aliens. I liked 'em fine, some of them better than pie, which, while on the top ten list, is not my favorite dessert.

I've never met any space aliens, though. That would be scary. That scene in the cornfield in Signs is like my nightmare. Thank god I saw that movie during the day, or I wouldn't have been able to sleep alone that night. Course, I'm a big wuss. Even some of the X-Files scared me so badly I could barely sleep. That one in the Northwest with those forest creatures with the red eyes that could turn invisible? OMG, that terrified me.

[Wintermute]

Originally posted by Rue DeDay
Pie is better than Aliens (And who said they were aliens? No one. You just inferred it.) because pie won't give you a rectal probe. Right there, that puts pie waaaay ahead.

Free pie? Oh, yes please.
Free rectal probe? No, no I don't think so.


-Rue. (pie please)

Rue, have you ever read Spider Robinson?

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

Originally posted by Rue DeDay
Thanks Spectre. Glad you liked it. (Scylla is my grandpa, by the way. Fenris is my dad.)

Wow! Three generations. The family that Dopes together, stays together. :)

[Rue DeDay]

Oops. I think I should clear something up Spectre. Scylla is my Dope grandpa. Not blood-kin. It's a call-back to a way-old MMP, where I figured Doping was a disease, like lycanthropy. So I first posted in one of Fenris' threads. So he's my Dope-dad (or sire). Fenris first posted to one of Scylla's threads, so he, Scylla, is his, Fenris, dad who is my dad, all Dope-wise. It's like that.

Yes I have read some Spider Robinson Winnie (And work on your snipping, by the way.) Some of his stuff. Not sure right off which ones. Have you read Lois McMasters Bujold?

The first X-Files I ever watched was the one where Scully and Mulder were up on this one mountain and they were being attacked by killer fireflies. That was pretty good.

No hijack is irrelevant Plankster. Not around here anyway.

Shuddup welby. That's just gross.

Oh yeah, I forgot all about pervy Swampy. But at least he's got a pool. So it's worth being his friend just for that. The hot tub is just a pleasant bonus. (And take care of that heart of your young man!)


-Rue. (not really that old)

[Rue DeDay]

Oops. It's supposed to be "And take care of that heart of yours young man!" I could just leave the typo, because who's gonna notice. But then I figured someone would and I just want to avoid confusion.

I'm not sure you actually HAVE a young man currently Swampy. But you do have a pool and you can cook and your ticker isn't completely bum yet. So there's still hope for you.


-Rue. (chagrinned)

[Kallessa]

Originally posted by Rue DeDay
Pie is better than Aliens (And who said they were aliens? No one. You just inferred it.)


-Rue. (pie please)

<stamps foot> I did not infer it. You said that they said they were from Ecuador Portugal Belgium and those are foreign countries so they would be foreign nationals and that means they owe political allegiance to another country or government and that means they're aliens. And I never said they were space aliens, I just said I thought most people had more experience with pies than with aliens--I've always lived in small towns and have rarely met people from foreign lands and so I figured my experience was like many people's. You, Rue, brought up rectal probes, which are more associated with space aliens than with foreign nationals, and Wintermute first mentioned not meeting any space aliens.

Just so we straight on this.

[swampbear]

No man, young or otherwise for me right now. Course we could count Homebrew, but I haven't met him yet. He's my major league doper crush is all.

The pool is looking good! The dirt got spread all around the outside all nice and smooth like. Now I gotta get some sod for it. Or maybe I could just go sod Homebrew. I have fence posts up all around my back yard too. It's raining like heck today so they can't work on the fence. Maybe they can tomorrow, but old Tropical Depression Bob might still be hanging around dumping rain, so maybe not. Bob has got to leave by Friday tho. I wants to spend the 4th at my pool. Might even get nekkid out there if the fence is up. Reckon I could find a man, young or otherwise for that by Friday?

-Swampbear (mind still in the gutter)

[earthpuppy]

I thought his name was Bill...the tropical depression, not your young stud.

[Kallessa]

Nary a Bill or a Bob in my general direction, and that makes me depressed.

[Wintermute]

Originally posted by Rue DeDay
Yes I have read some Spider Robinson Winnie (And work on your snipping, by the way.) Some of his stuff. Not sure right off which ones. Have you read Lois McMasters Bujold?

-Rue. (not really that old)

So, I still don't have it right? Is this better or worse? I'm just confused now. I'm so embarrassed; I am going to have to stop posting altogether. :o

[Kallessa]

Wintermute, don't give up. You've got the "quote" feature down pat (get you minds out of the gutter, it's a perfectly acceptable phrase). You just need to think more about what must be included in the quote to make your comment on it make sense. So, quote the whole thing, then delete out everything but the most germane sentence or sentences. For example, in the quote of mine that you used (and I know you didn't want to cut anything because my writing is so marvelous), you could have just quoted the first two sentences in the second paragraph. Doing this will help keep the hamsters happy.

But, personally, I think Rue just wants to snipe at your snipping.

[earthpuppy]

It sure is quiet around here without FCM, don't you think? Wonder if she's enjoying her vacation.

[swampbear]

Yep, it's Bill not Bob. The tropical depression/storm/annoying weather system still hanging around here. Well, what ever the heck its name is, it still needs to go away.

FairyChatMom is conjugating with FairyChatDad this week. I bet she hasn't given us a thought.

[Rue DeDay]

Originally posted by Kallessa
<stamps foot> I did not infer it. You said that they said they were from Ecuador Portugal Belgium and those are foreign countries...blah, blah, blah...

Ah ha ha! You did infer! I said they said they were from (among other places) Belgium. I never said right out where they were from. Maybe they were telling the truth, maybe they were lying. You made an assumption from the statements given. Tra-la! Inference.

Don't worry Winnie. It's all like Kallessa (lovely name by the way, the way it just rolls off the tongue "Kallllessssahhh") said. I was just needlessly sniping at you. People think of me like all "ha ha, that Rue, he's so funny!" when actually in my heart of hearts I'm really a sour old snarky bastard. It's almost my Super Power.

My real Super Power though is my complete and utter lack of direction sense yet exuding a calming field over the other poor souls who are lost with me.


-Rue. (super powered)

[Kallessa]

Originally posted by Rue DeDay
Ah ha ha! You did infer! I said they said they were from (among other places) Belgium. I never said right out where they were from. Maybe they were telling the truth, maybe they were lying. You made an assumption from the statements given. Tra-la! Inference.

-Rue. (super powered)

Curses! Tripped up by logic again!

[tanookie]

Logic? in a MMP? Brain overloading... does not compute...

*pop*

[dwyr]

I still need a curse!

A really, really good one. Like one that maybe makes these flooring people go up in a puff of green smoke. Or blue. Or yellow even, I'm not that picky.

[Salem]

Originally posted by swampbear
Reckon I could find a man, young or otherwise for that by Friday?

-Swampbear (mind still in the gutter)

Well, maybe if you don't ask Rue to help. I hear he can't even find the duct tape. And watch out for your gutter, he has a 4lb whacker he's waiting to unleash. I heard that, too. Well, I read that.
Just watching out for you swampbear after being all worried about your heart stuff. Hope you're doing well (seriously, too.)

[Quantum Butterfly]

Posted by dwyr
I still need a curse!

A really, really good one. Like one that maybe makes these flooring people go up in a puff of green smoke. Or blue. Or yellow even, I'm not that picky. Ask Caliph Arenschadd ;) (Yes, I know it's an obscure reference. Hint: Same author who wrote the Enchanted Forest Chronicles.) My personal favorite curse is the one that turns people blue. Lets 'em know you're annoyed without inflicting grievous bodily harm. If, however, you WANT some GBH, there's always the werewolf curse. Do you really want a pissed-off werewolf on your trail though? Maybe you better just stick their feet together.

[Wintermute]

Originally posted by Rue DeDay
Don't worry Winnie...I was just needlessly sniping at you.

I think I have it, though. Not snipping correctly is just one of those things that make you crazy, right? And every time you see it, you go, "GAH! She still doesn't have it right! How stupid is this girl?" So, I understand, because I hate it when people mix up their and there, or two, too, and to.

But I am truly sorry and trying hard to get better, so will you forgive me?

Originally posted by Rue DeDay
People think of me like all "ha ha, that Rue, he's so funny!" when actually in my heart of hearts I'm really a sour old snarky bastard. It's almost my Super Power.

-Rue. (super powered)

I have a hard time believing this. You might convince me, if you tried hard enough, but I doubt it.

[Rue DeDay]

I'm glad you didn't include "it's" and "its" in your list of peeves [b]Winnie[b]. I might run you off screaming if that was something that grates on you. I am trying to get better at "lose" and "loose", but that's just because I can't type rather than my not being able to spell.

Kick ass snips there too. Good on ya!


-Rue. (sour and snarky, really)

[Wintermute]

Ahh, but you see, I can't complain about its and it's, Rue; I get them wrong, too. If you watch me closely in the future, you'll probably catch me doing it.

Thank you for the compliment on my snipping. :)

What would it take to change that sour and snarky thing? I know, I could bake you a pie. What's your favorite?

Pie is like kryptonite to sour and snarky.






(Like how I brought it back to the OP?)

[Kallessa]

I still don't like pie all that much, but I just met an alien that I think is fine! No, really. the place where I work just hired a woman from Canada and I think I'm going to get along with her just fine. I don't know if she likes pie or not, but I'll ask her.


And Wintermute I'm depressed over not having a Bill or a Bob, don't I rate an attempt to cheer me up?

[FairyChatMom]

Originally posted by swampbear
Yep, it's Bill not Bob. The tropical depression/storm/annoying weather system still hanging around here. Well, what ever the heck its name is, it still needs to go away.

FairyChatMom is conjugating with FairyChatDad this week. I bet she hasn't given us a thought. Bill managed to soggy up the last 2 days of our vacation - I shall have a major post on that once I'm back in FL.

As to the other - the Perfect ChildTM and the boy have been here... constantly... in close quarters... Until today - they've gone to visit my mom for the night. So there'll be some conjugatin' later, boy howdy! On the boat, I mean - not at Mom's.

:D

[earthpuppy]

woo hoo!! FCM......

this is your Lucky Day ;)

[swampbear]

Aww... thanks Salem for being all worried about me. My heart is fine. No problems, blockage or anything. So, I learned that not only do I have a heart, I have a good heart! :D

My privacy fence is done! The pool is done! I'm about to spend another small fortune on landscaping! Such an exciting life I have! My, that's a lot of exclamation points!

Tomorrow is pool day at the swampcave. Got friends coming over to lounge around the pool and cook out and such. One special friend is coming tonight even. We're gonna conjugate. ;)

[Wintermute]

Originally posted by Kallessa
And Wintermute I'm depressed over not having a Bill or a Bob, don't I rate an attempt to cheer me up?

You don't have a Bill or a Bob, I don't have a Bill or a Bob, and Swampbear and FairyChatMom are talking about conjugatin'. Now I'm depressed, too.

C'mon over and we can commiserate over a couple of pints of Ben & Jerry's, 'kay? (Or Haagen Daaz, pick your poison) :)

[Kallessa]

Originally posted by Wintermute
You don't have a Bill or a Bob, I don't have a Bill or a Bob, and Swampbear and FairyChatMom are talking about conjugatin'. Now I'm depressed, too.

C'mon over and we can commiserate over a couple of pints of Ben & Jerry's, 'kay? (Or Haagen Daaz, pick your poison) :)

Sure, but if I'm commiserating about men, I'm gonna need something stronger than ice cream. First we have ice cream (Godiva for me, please) then we break out the booze. How do you feel about vodka?

I could bring some Latin verbs, so we could conjugate, too, but somehow I don't think it would be as much fun without a Bill or a Bob. Or even a Fred.

[Wintermute]

Originally posted by Kallessa
Sure, but if I'm commiserating about men, I'm gonna need something stronger than ice cream. First we have ice cream (Godiva for me, please) then we break out the booze. How do you feel about vodka?

I'm not much of a drinker, but you feel free. Have you tried that Godiva liqueur? Chocolate and alcohol!

[Wintermute]

Hey, all, I'm checkin' out, and probably won't be back until Mon. Have a great holiday, everyone!