Someone needs to invent a pen that electricutes people if they take it out of the roo

[Lobsang]

Well that's just great! one, ONE letter too many. (the subject)


Anyway, There's never a fucking pen when we need done (at work)

We get a set (about 6). Within a few days they're all gone.


No sodding forks either. plenty of knives. No forks. Plenty of pencils. No pens.

[NoClueBoy]

You store your writing instruments in marsupials?

[Brutus]

Sure beats keeping your pen in a non-marsupial...

[3trew]

Elapsed time to the joke I was going to make, three minutes. I love this place.

[iampunha]

Simple solution:

Remove the caps. I was taught to do this by a friend as a young teen, and I continue to do it to this day. Why? Because when people are done with a pen they usually attempt to cap it ... though the saturation of thepen market with pens that have those buttons on top makes this sometimes impossible, what with no cap.

Alternately, you could try soaking them in vomit-soaked shit. That would certainly make them smell so rancid that nobody would even want to USE them. Problem solved!

2trew, what do you think is the elapsed time until lieu shows up?;)

[Ice Wolf]

That has to be one of the funniest, even if inadvertant, thread titles I've seen all year. :D

Oh. Yeah...

...I agree with the OP. Never can find a damn pen when I want one. Th' little buggers migrate everywhere ...

(so do 'roos, I s'pose.) :)

[3trew]

iampunha, baiting is unsportsmanlike.

[kambuckta]

I can't think of anything extremely witty to add here that hasn't already been done.


But pulling electrified biros out of 'roos arseholes DID strike me as a very novel thread title. Kudos Lobbers.

:D

[Mudshark]

Well, at home there is never any pens or pencils in the cup where they should be.

They always end up wedged in couch cushions or under the table or somewhere where I can't find them. Our tape and tin foil does the same thing too. But they end up in the basement.

[Lobsang]

iampunha On the rare occasion that pens exist in our 'office' they are capless (99% of the pens we do have are second-hand. Meaning the caps were long lost in whichever other office we 'aquired' them from) As a result of this none of us think to re-cap the pens because we know they don't have caps.


Also, maybe I am just a tiny little bit fussy, but there's something about pens soaked in vomit-shit makes me slightly unenthusiastic about using them.

Nope. electricution is the only solution.

[Lobsang]

Roo: :eek:

Person attempting to remove electrified pen from Roo: :eek:

[iampunha]

Originally posted by 2trew
iampunha, baiting is unsportsmanlike.

Wasn't baiting. I merely remembered (as if one could really forget:)) that lieu is drawn to shit in a thread like flies are drawn to shit in nature. Given the "elapsed time" comment you made, I gathered the two together in one statement meant to amuse rather than draw someone into a thread for no reason.

What is the sound of one hand whooshing?:)

[3trew]

I read the posts a few times, and as far as I can tell the first mention of shit was in your post. Vomit soaked shit no less.

That's what I meant by baiting.

BTW, it's whoo.

[Ferret Herder]

I once read the advice to have your pens personalized with, "This Is Not Your Pen." So even if the person does walk off with it, they tend to return within minutes. Obviously this won't work if everyone does it, but it's a start.

What I used to do was buy one of those chained-down pens like they have in banks, and all visitors to my office got pointed to that pen. Other pens were stowed in drawers. It helped, at least.

[coffeecat]

I assumed "roo" was some sort of odd Britishism, like "I shagged a Bobby in the dustbin whilst pissed."

[NoClueBoy]

Lob, are you buying second hand ballpoint pens from a man with three arms and two heads?

Just wondering, I lost his business card and need a contact number.

[dwc1970]

Several businesses in my area have adopted the practice of taping something like a plastic spoon or a small plastic flower to pens, something that will clearly remind the person using the pen that it isn't theirs to put in their pocket and walk out with.

[Lobsang]

Originally posted by NoClueBoy
Lob, are you buying second hand ballpoint pens from a man with three arms and two heads?

Just wondering, I lost his business card and need a contact number.

Can I have some of what you are having?

[iampunha]

Given that he's conducting business with a man who has two heads, one could say, in a sense, that he's getting extra head.

I, for one, join you in your request:D

[Kyla]

Do none of you people get Douglas Adams references? And you call yourself Dopers! Hmph!

[Lobsang]

Didn't know the two headed guy (zaphod?) in HHGTTG had three arms.

[Rilchiam]

He had the third one grafted on to help with his ski-boxing.

[Cervaise]

Originally posted by 2trew
Elapsed time to the joke I was going to make, three minutes. I love this place. The best part is, even though I knew it was inevitable, it was still hilarious. Only on the SDMB can we easily predict the tenor of the obvious response and nevertheless rely upon it to be funny. :D

[Sat on Cookie]

As a suggestion for the OP, why not spend a few extra pennies and buy the "screw together" pens with the refillable ink? Then, you can keep the inks in a locked cabinet and if someone wants to use a pen (they can still be lying around or in a cup -- they'll just be "empty"), you just go to the cabinet, unlock it, get an ink and put it in the pen! Just remember to ask for the ink back after use. Walla!

[NoClueBoy]

Well thanks, Cerv and 2.

But, what i thought was incredibly funny is that Lobs knew the "m" wasn't going to make it and he still left it that way instead of editing or abbrv a different word. It's as though he knew what I was going to respond. Talk about mind reading Dopers!


Originally posted by Lobsang
Well that's just great! one, ONE letter too many. (the subject)

[Joyfulgirl]

When I signed the lease for my apartment, I asked the manager if I could borrow a pen. She handed me one of your average hard plastic clear-case ball-point pens. Halfway through my signiture, she asked if she could have it back and traded me for a Bic. When I looked at her funny, she explained that it was her favorite pen and "People steal." I'm still scared of her.

I like the way the local used book store deals with stolen pens. They tape giant fake flowers to the top and wrap them with green tape. From the looks of it, it's very effective.

[Larry Mudd]

After I'd worked at a certain office-supply company for about four years, I realized that I'd never once in that time had the experience of having a pen run dry. Nearly every exchange I had with another employee required that they sign paperwork-- naturally, this also meant that they needed to 'borrow' a pen. It was so bad that the supply clerk made intimations that I had some sort of black-market trade in ball-points going, I visited him so frequently.

Eventually, I made up a bunch of little labels, which had "A Curse Upon the Regenerative Organs of the One Who Steals This Pen," in tiny, just barely legible, type and affixed them to the tops, under the pocket-clip. After that, the pens usually found their way back. "Um, this is your pen, isn't it, Larry?"

I wonder how they knew?