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View Full Version : TMI warning: What does shit taste like?


Muldoon's Squishiness
07-21-2003, 02:18 PM
This question entered my mind after getting a lovely and charming spam e-mail that promised me that Slutty Young Japanese Shit Eaters Want Your Cock!!!!!!! I would think that they would want something else from me, but maybe I'm wrong.

Anyhoo, that got me curious as to what shit tastes like. I have no desire or intention of finding out firsthand, and unfortunately Divine passed away about 10 years ago, so I can't ask him. (Divine ate dog shit in the climax of John Waters trash/cult classic film Pink Flamingos.)

When I'm talking about shit, I mean human shit, not dog or cat. I've seen dogs eating poo, both their own and other dogs, and none of them threw up, but their sense of taste/smell is way different then ours.

Does it depend on what a person eats? Is the taste worse then the smell,, vice versa or the same?

Enlighten me, my fellow Dopers.

Philster
07-21-2003, 02:49 PM
Mmmmmmmmm..........shit.

Tastes like chicken!

Electronic Chaos
07-21-2003, 02:54 PM
Considering they massive amounts of bacteria and such in human fecal matter, I'm pretty sure it is lethal...unless you cook it properly.

Cervaise
07-21-2003, 02:59 PM
In a recent thread, mangeorge fried up his spooje in a pan, in the interest of furthering our understanding of the subject, but I bet even he will draw the line at this one.

Even so, I'm curious. I suspect our negative perception of the smell of shit is an evolutionary adaptation (those who avoid their waste are more likely to survive to breed than those who enjoy it and wallow in it), and I'd imagine the taste factor is similar, but that's just speculation.

Terminus Est
07-21-2003, 03:12 PM
The taste depends on what you ate the day before.

bordelond
07-21-2003, 03:16 PM
Originally posted by xgxlx
Considering they massive amounts of bacteria and such in human fecal matter, I'm pretty sure it is lethal...unless you cook it properly.

Google "toilet slavery" and let us know what you find.

WARNING: Do not perform this search at work!

Stringer
07-21-2003, 03:17 PM
When I was a really little kid, I remember putting a piece of my poop in my mouth because I thought it was a chocolate chip. I spit it out right away, but I did get a taste of it. Surprisingly not that horrible. A little tangy?

I don't remember why the poop was out to begin with though. Shit happens I guess. :D

Wonko The Sane
07-21-2003, 03:21 PM
Corn.

Some Guy
07-21-2003, 03:25 PM
I've seen the previously mentioned dogs eat human feces as well (don't ask). It must not be that much different from the canine variety.

jjimm
07-21-2003, 04:22 PM
I read a really, really disgusting coprophilia email of dubious provenance that was doing the rounds in 1996. It said poo tasted like "a ripe blue cheese". You puke the first few times (apparently) and then you start to appreciate it.

Where's the barf smiley?

handy
07-21-2003, 04:25 PM
"I'm pretty sure it is lethal...unless you cook it properly. "

Oh, don't hold back, how do you cook it properly?

Probably tastes like billirubin.

Bob Scene
07-21-2003, 04:43 PM
I remember reading somewhere that when people asked Divine what the dogshit he ate tasted like, he replied, "What do you think it tasted like?"

samarm
07-21-2003, 04:49 PM
Originally posted by handy
Oh, don't hold back, how do you cook it properly?

Well, in a large bowl, gently but thoroughly combine the shit with the chopped ribs, the Berbere sauce and the grilled onion...

Rabid_Squirrel
07-21-2003, 04:56 PM
Apparently sour, depending on the freshness :dubious:


Hey, it was some bizzare wildlife show on public TV, ok?

x-ray vision
07-21-2003, 04:59 PM
I heard it tastes like shit.

Ad Noctum
07-21-2003, 05:00 PM
here's a good digression--

If roses smelled like fecal matter, and fecal matter smelled like roses, would the roses still smell good because they are beautiful, and the shit still smell bad because we are kinda instinctively programmed that shit is bad thing? (poop is generally a non-talked about [taboo] thing in western cultures, and plus, it's a bodily excrement so really, I mean, shit's nasty)

PatriotX
07-21-2003, 05:06 PM
Originally posted by xgxlx
Considering they massive amounts of bacteria and such in human fecal matter, I'm pretty sure it is lethal...unless you cook it properly.
Consider as well that those bacterias ALREADY live in your digestive tract, (w/ your own shit anyway). Whatever harm the bacteria can do to your system, they have already done.

Peter Morris
07-21-2003, 05:56 PM
I cant't speak from personal experience, this is just a logical guess.

In the first place, all or most of the sugars would have been digested on the first pass, leaving the rest with a bitter taste.

In the second place dead blood cells are disposed of through fecal matter.

Thirdly, the remaining fecal matter consists largely of undigested roughage, which intestinal bacteria has acted upon

Fourthly, it would contain various digestive juices, such as bile.

Therefore, I should imagine, shit would taste like a combination of vinegar, blood, rotten vegetables and vomit.

But that's just speculation.

samarm
07-21-2003, 05:59 PM
Originally posted by Ad Noctum
here's a good digression--

If roses smelled like fecal matter, and fecal matter smelled like roses, would the roses still smell good because they are beautiful, and the shit still smell bad because we are kinda instinctively programmed that shit is bad thing?Trust me (don't ask) I have smelled enough shit up close and personal in my time on this earth and I can tell you one thing with 100% certainty: shit smells REALLY BAD. I mean disgusting. There is no question about this.

FisherQueen
07-21-2003, 06:13 PM
Most things taste more or less like they smell. Shit is aromatic enough that I feel I have a fairly clear idea of what it might taste like. Clear enough not to want to try it.

CalMeacham
07-21-2003, 08:01 PM
For the answer to this question, we turn to one o the weirdest books in my collection: End Product: The First Taboo by Dan Sabbath and Mandel Hall. These two guys really (forgive me, but it's unavoidable) knw their shit.

On page 253 we read:

"Terrified as we are of the turd, most of us remain unaware of its tastiness. Occasionally, however, like the happy unfortunate who discovered the pleasures of roast pig when his barn burned, someone stumbles upon truth in the midst of calamity. So one physician tells of a young girl who, having soiled her bed, devoured the evidence of her accident. When her paents asked how she could have done such a disgusting thing, she shrugged and answered that she had rather enjoyed the flavor -- that it was strong but sweetish."


(All together now -- Ewwwwwwwww!)


I suspect that there is a great deal of variation in the properties of excrement with the state of our diet and our health, but I'm not curious enough -- by a long shot -- to find out.

As for disease, they note:

"...'It's poison! Cholera. Typhoid. Dysentery. Ths stuff can kill!'

..Nice try, but no cigar. Sewage, stewing in the sun or mouldering in airless pits, does breed germs and transmit disease, but a turd taken piping hot from your own rectum will not infect you with someone else's polio....
...Our daily output of p-aminobenzoic acid, biotin, folic acid, and pantothenic acid is greater than our intake...The daily turd contains over sxty percent of the ecommended daily dietary reqirement of calcium, and eight hundred forty percnt that of ireon...Your shit contains over sixty percent of th recommended daily adult requirements of riboflavin an vitamn C, and fifty-five percent of thiamine..."

"Coprophagy does have it drawbacks. If you are ill with dysntery, you an reinfect yourself. Scientists have demonstrated that diet ith too many feces wears down the teeth. Most damning of all, refection of vitamins in the ntestines is acompanied by the prduction of cholesterol. Shit, like alcohol, must be consumed in moderation if good health is to be maintained. But shit i not poison. Many inmates of mental institutions have been disproving that old wives' tale for years."

PatriotX
07-21-2003, 08:29 PM
Originally posted by FisherQueen
Most things taste more or less like they smell. Shit is aromatic enough that I feel I have a fairly clear idea of what it might taste like. Clear enough not to want to try it.
You could make an unflavored pudding and eat some while wafting aromas if you wanted. Just like the potato/apple/onion trick.

vivalostwages
07-21-2003, 08:38 PM
Originally posted by samarm
Well, in a large bowl, gently but thoroughly combine the shit with the chopped ribs, the Berbere sauce and the grilled onion...

Use the Hannibal Lecter accent when you say that.

;)

slipster
07-21-2003, 08:44 PM
The timing of this question feels a little eerie.

Just a couple of weeks ago I had a very depressing conversation with a woman of my acquaintance who has recently resorted to prostitution while her disability claim is pending. A "client" of hers was paying to watch her eat his body waste.

IAMNA doctor, but I offered that E. Coli, the bacteria which is essential to digestion, can be deadly if exposed to the blood stream. A quick search under "toilet slavery" (I couldn't stomach a longer one), suggests that some people claim to have engaged in such behavior for years, but it strikes me that a person who has an ulcer or a cut of any kind in their digestive tract would be placing themself in serious danger from such behavior.

My acquaintance renounced the practice shortly after I expressed my fears to her. She said that she was doing this on a weekly schedule, and that on some--but not all--weeks during her brief period of activity she felt run-down and ill until her next session. As this did not occur all of the time, I am guessing her symptoms were not psychosomatic.

The thought also occurs that body waste exposed to the air is a tremendously fertile breeding ground for disease. It is said that prior to the American Civil War it was typically the case that more soldiers died in a war from diseases contracted from poor sanitation in camp than from injuries sustained in battle. Cholera comes to mind as one disease which has been largely eliminated from the western world because of the prevalence of flush toilets.
Ever hear the expression "eat shit and die"?

hyjyljyj
07-22-2003, 12:25 AM
Originally posted by SimonX
Consider as well that those bacterias ALREADY live in your digestive tract, (w/ your own shit anyway). Whatever harm the bacteria can do to your system, they have already done. This is unsound medical advice from an unsound and uninformed source.

Hello, McFlies...There's a reason why excrement is so utterly and uniformly revolting--so you WON'T EAT IT. This lesson is usually picked up by about age 2 or before, so how anyone reaches adulthood still having questions about it is beyond me.

A little good-natured whoring is one thing, but when you'll admit somebody is able to convince you to risk dysentery and hepatitis for a few bucks, you're WAY beyond the need for money.

Remember kids, you are what you eat.

Tarantula
07-22-2003, 03:02 AM
Originally posted by CalMeacham
...Shit, like alcohol, must be consumed in moderation if good health is to be maintained...

Now there's a public health warning worth its weight in... poo.

:rolleyes:

Mangetout
07-22-2003, 05:11 AM
Originally posted by SimonX
Consider as well that those bacterias ALREADY live in your digestive tract, (w/ your own shit anyway). Whatever harm the bacteria can do to your system, they have already done. I don't think that is right; the distribution of bacteria throughout the digestive system is by no means uniform; the ones from the bottom end can wreak havoc if they are introduced to the top end in significant number.

gouda
07-22-2003, 05:16 AM
Wasn't there an MTV Jackass episode where one of the crew goes for a swim in a pool of the stuff at a sewage treatment plant?

Mockingbird
07-22-2003, 05:29 AM
It tastes brown.

Tarantula
07-22-2003, 05:30 AM
Originally posted by Mangetout
I don't think that is right; the distribution of bacteria throughout the digestive system is by no means uniform; the ones from the bottom end can wreak havoc if they are introduced to the top end in significant number.

You obviously don't "Mange Tout"...

:D

Tarantula
07-22-2003, 05:32 AM
Ooh-ooh - even better is

"Do you Mange tout ?"

Brilliant...

calm kiwi
07-22-2003, 06:06 AM
The Marquais de Sade seemed awfully engrossed with the whole poop thing. But then we know what his name stands for now.

Mangetout
07-22-2003, 06:24 AM
Originally posted by Tarantula
"Do you Mange tout ?"
Clearly not.

I do, on the other hand, know Kung-Fu.

calm kiwi
07-22-2003, 06:27 AM
But do you know Kung-Poo?

Mangetout
07-22-2003, 06:30 AM
No.





Oh and I was lying about the Kung-Fu.

calm kiwi
07-22-2003, 06:36 AM
Bugger :D

BobLibDem
07-22-2003, 06:41 AM
I've always imagined it tasted like my daughter's cooking.

calm kiwi
07-22-2003, 06:45 AM
You realise children should be supervised when gathering ingredients, don't you?

d12
07-22-2003, 07:04 AM
Who wishes to sacrifice their friends for the sake of science? Break your toilet, let a friend go in to take a dump, scoop it up, and then put it in their burger, ask how it tasted and report back.
Hey, it's just a thought.

Bad News Baboon
07-22-2003, 07:21 AM
Hey d12...

here's a burger I made just for you!

enjoy!

Schnauzer
07-22-2003, 07:33 AM
I'm sure I've heard somewhere that the French make a soup into which they put a teaspoon of poo to add flavour. I can't remember any more detail than that I'm afraid.

Annie-Xmas
07-22-2003, 07:34 AM
Well, it does have a lot of fiber. And I hear fiber is good for you......

And I can't believe I just wrote that.

Tarantula
07-22-2003, 07:45 AM
Originally posted by Schnauzer
I'm sure I've heard somewhere that the French make a soup into which they put a teaspoon of poo to add flavour. I can't remember any more detail than that I'm afraid.

Words fail me. Google "poo soup". When you get no results, you know why.

jjimm
07-22-2003, 08:16 AM
How about the mythical "Pâté de caca de canard" that I saw in a Sunday paper once..?

biddee
07-22-2003, 08:19 AM
http://www.youwannaknow.com/CharacterPortfolios/KevinResponse.html

I googled 'poo soup'...this is the second entry!

Tarantula
07-22-2003, 08:55 AM
I'm not clicking on that link 'cause I'm in work. But you better be kidding me...

rowrrbazzle
07-22-2003, 03:00 PM
"My God! That's moose turd pie!

It's good, though."

http://www.lpslicer.com/KFAT.htm

SkyBum
07-22-2003, 03:52 PM
I've often wondered what it would take to thoroughly gross me out.

Thanks guys, now I know......

Larry Mudd
07-22-2003, 04:40 PM
Rowrrbazzle, that link didn't properly attribute the Moose Turd Pie anecdote, which is, of course, the work of the inimitable roustabout and raconteur Utah Philips.

Here's an MP3 of the man himself relating the story (http://www.utahphillips.org/stuff/mooseturdpie.mp3), taken from Utah's homepage (http://www.utahphillips.org).

"You'll get pie in the sky when you die, bye-and-bye." :)

noddygrrl
07-22-2003, 05:23 PM
Some acquaintances of mine are involved in various aspects of the German porn industry. Germans are awfully fond of shit, for whatever reason. Personally I think it's related somehow to the design of their toilets, which usually have a little "shelf" for pre-flushing inspection, so that their lifelong relationship with their waste is a bit more intimate than in some other cultures.

But anyway...I am told that the taste is not as awful as one would imagine, providing you can dissociate it from the smell; and I have heard it compared to the taste of cornflakes. I am content to take their word for it.

MaryEFoo
07-22-2003, 07:03 PM
KFAT! the days of KFAT and Carl....I still have the T-shirt, and the memories....

MaryEFoo
07-22-2003, 07:06 PM
No apologies for the hijack, but this may not have been the most respectful thread to bring up Carl's name in.

KFAT forever!

voltaire
07-22-2003, 07:33 PM
Originally posted by noddygrrl
Germans are awfully fond of shit, for whatever reason. Personally I think it's related somehow to the design of their toilets, which usually have a little "shelf" for pre-flushing inspection, so that their lifelong relationship with their waste is a bit more intimate than in some other cultures.

I always thought the "toilet shelf" was for splash protection.

Damn, now I have to admit to reading this thread...

vivalostwages
07-22-2003, 09:51 PM
Just flashing back to the movie Things to do in Denver When You're Dead:

Easy Wind, about Critical Bill: "A brown boy! A fecal freak! A f***in' dookie taster!"


Critical Bill, later: "It was just an itty bitty piece of shit. It didn't really even have no taste......Spongy."


I've seen that movie far too often.