A question for overweight people

[Headcoat]

This is specifically for overweight people who make no effort to lose weight - Why?

I'm perplexed because I have a close friend who is overweight, and only getting bigger. He would prefer to be thinner, but he lacks the desire to be thin and does absolutely nothing that would help him lose weight. He indulges in poor eating habits without guilt and does not find his bulging belly to be aesthetically unappealing. He has even admitted that every aspect of his life would be improved if he were thinner, but I don't understand why he makes no initiative to begin a lifestyle change towards that goal.

I've never met a fat person who enjoys being fat. But this is one aspect of a person's appearance and health that is under one's own control and is avoidable. So why do some fat folks just not care enough to improve their bodies?

[dropzone]

Well, when you find out please tell me. I'm dying (rather too literally) to know.

[Stage Manager]

I have emotional issues with food.

I eat as a drug, to block out the pain.

Really.

[TVGuy]

'cause there's some of us who don't really give a damn and refuse to march to the beat of the Stepford Fitness Wives to be thin Thin THIN T H I N ! ! !

You may not have met an 'overweight' person who enjoys it, but some of us are comfortable being who we are, honestly.

Besides, after you've spent 40 years trying every damned program under the sun to lose it, you begin to realize that it ain't coming off.

[Mockingbird]

They care, they often just feel that it is futile.

There is a poor fixation in our society on dieting rather than focusing on changing eating habits for life, working on moderation, and being conscious of choices.

Instead, we have a society that pimps us and instead of giving us crack, it starts us out with a Happy Meal. Then it gets us later by Super Sizing our order for thirty nine cents.

Cost is also involved.

Organic food is considerably more expensive than regular food. Often healthy food is considerably more expensive than junk.

Convienience foods are often priced afforably, and because they are fast and often quite generous with portions, people will choose that over making dinner themselves.

There are a lot of variables to consider.

Once you see how you are being led down a path that doesn't support you in being healthy, stop the fast food, buy fresh food and prepare it yourself... then things can really change.

[TeaRoses]

Depression mostly I guess, I'm too out of it to really care much that I have gained too much weight.

OTOH I also do try to accept myself as I am.

[Scarlett67]

I am currently trying to lose weight, but I can give you some past reasons for not trying:

An already hectic life -- meal planning and exercise take time, as does preparing healthy foods as opposed to convenience foods, as others have pointed out. When your schedule is already strained to the limit, fitting in a workout and extra cooking/shopping time can be difficult.

Also as previously stated, some of us learn to be comfortable with our bodies. It is possible to be in general good health and still be overweight. Why beat yourself up over being fat, getting frustrated with diets, etc, if you can come to grips and be comfortable or yes, even happy the way you are?

I have a hard time developing good habits in general, if I don't already have them.

[The Calculus of Logic]

mainly because people gain and then some the weight back 95% of the time. Its like asking a criminal why he doesn't run from the cops if he is arrested. 95% will be caught and punished worse than before. Why bother to begin with.

I'm back on a diet now, but its not by choice. i was gaining weight for some reason. But i'm dieting in a more permanent way. i'm eating about 85% of maintenance calories in a low fat diet and doing 45 minutes of cardio a day.

[Smeghead]

I'm somewhat overweight. Not morbidly or grossly so, but I'm carrying some extra poundage. Now, I have an exercise bike, and I use it regularly, to the point that I feel reasonably comfortable that I won't drop dead of a heart attack at the age of 35. So, for me, health isn't really the issue.

So it becomes mainly a question of aesthetics. Frankly, I don't give a rat's ass about what other people think of the way I look. It's not important to me. I'm comfortable and happy the way I am, and I have a lot of things I'd rather do with my time than work out nonstop and obsess over my daily calorie intake. I just don't care. I suppose I should be worried that the woman of my dreams won't want me looking like this, but, frankly, if there were a woman who would reject me as I am now, but accept me if I lost a few pounds, that would make her shallow enough that I wouldn't be interested in her.

My question to the OP is why do you care? How are you hurt or offended by overweight people? What business is it of yours?? Luckily, I've never met anyone in real life who felt the need to pass judgement on me to my face because of my appearance. I know that's not the case for many people.

[skyzoo]

Maybe your friend needs more unconditional love:
To have, for once in life, - love for his self, beyond outward appearance.

This is a strange world. We have (many of us) been deluded into a belief—system that honors looks above every other trait.
I wonder what ever happened to the concept of "saving grace"?

When people are befriended, like you and your friend, - sure,
you're concerned about his health. Good! The best way for any of us to be healthy is to feel loved for ourselves. Things like weight and smoking become less significant when we are loved. The sheer joy of being loved helps people to become their best. Loved beyond "measure".

It's a tough world. I've been picked on for being "skinny".
Health has so much more to do with emotional well-being than we seem to grasp, still.
I think your friend simply needs to be loved for whomever he is, however he appears. Like I reckon you already feel, since you call him - "friend". Just keep caring for him as a friend like any friend!

These are my thoughts tonight. I wonder what others think?

[SnoopyFan]

Overweight, checking in.

The answer to your question, Headcoat, is called learned helplessness. (Hear me out before you start screaming.)

Ever heard about the study where the dogs were put in a cage and their little paws were shocked? Some of the dogs were able to jump over a bar and leave the cage, thus avoiding the shock, so they did. Some of the dogs were locked in and after a while just gave up. They put these dogs in an open cage later and the dogs still didn't even try to leave the cage, they just took the shocks.

When you have tried every weight loss program on the planet, sometimes numerous times (I personally tried WW three times), and it doesn't work, eventually you just give up. Why try another diet when all that will happen is you'll lose a little, get tired of the deprivation and then gain it all back and then some?

I personally think the weight loss industry doesn't give a shit about fat people in general. They just want their money. And unfortunately so many of us are so damn desparate to lose weight that we will pay anyone who we think has the answer. Thing is, the vast vast VAST majority of weight loss programs, IMHO, are flat out lying to people. I do not believe the answer is low fat/no fat/low carb/high carb/low protein etc., because these diets are NOT NATURAL. They are nothing but deprivation of foods that can, and should, be enjoyed within the bounds of hunger and fullness.

Look at the success rates of most diets: 5% at best. Why are we spending billions upon billions of dollars yearly on plans that have a 95% failure rate? Why SHOULD we?

Would you buy a car that had a 95% chance of breaking down on you within the first year?

[Angel of the Lord]

I'm moderately overweight. And I don't really make an effort to lose it most of the time--though I am starting a concerted effort now.

I have a fairly busy life. I have classes, and clubs. Most of the time, I'm just trying to do what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing for school and stuff, and sometimes I barely succeed at that. Factor in trying to learn healthy eating and exercise habits--which I believe are the only good way to lose weight short of surgery--and I think my head would explode. Especially since my college doesn't serve much in the way of healthy food that doesn't suck. It'd also take a toll on my wallet while I'm at school. So, a lot of times, I put it off because I have more pressing issues to attend to. Learning to eat properly--not simply to eat LESS, but to eat less while still addressing your nutritional needs and not feeling deprived--takes a lot of work, and learning to exercise regularly is even harder, especially if those things were never stressed as you were growing up. I believe it's worth it, but I don't believe it's a goal that is worth sacrificing my academic career or my social life for, and, during the school year, that's probably what would happen.

[chula]

Originally posted by Mockingbird
Often healthy food is considerably more expensive than junk.No way. Vegetables, fruit, eggs, milk, bread, beans, rice, etc. are all cheap. Junk foods are the most expensive items in the supermarket.

[SpinnerGirl]

Though I was never 'fat', I'll be the first to admit that growing up in L.A. made me incredibly weight conscious and perhaps gave me body dismorphic disorder of sorts (I'm one of those chicks who asks if something makes my butt look big, yes, very annoying I know), and all I can say is that considering the amount of overweight people in the country and considering that the average size for a woman is what it is (8 or 10 or 12 or whatever) I'm surprised because being a size 0-4 they are always running low on those sizes in the stores...Why? I thought everyone was so big?

[SnoopyFan]

Junk foods are the most expensive items in the supermarket.

Um, no.

Candy bar at the local grocery: 69 cents, sometimes 4/$1.00
Bunch of bananas: about $1.40 a pound, so figure about $3.00 per bunch.

Gallon of milk: $3.29
Two liter of soda: anywhere from 89 cents to $1.25 depending on brand

One watermelon: about $4.00 these days, they were $5 earlier
Box of clementines: nearly $7
Bag of green seedless grapes: about $3
Bag of baby carrots: $2.50-3, depending on size
Half gallon of ice cream: $1.99


Bag of off-brand frozen chicken, about 7 pieces: $7.99
Pound of the leanest hamburger meat you can buy: about $3.50
Pound of the fatty stuff: about $2
We won't even talk about the price of fish!

[Ephemera]

I like food, hate exercise, and have an almost non-existant willpower.

[Dunderman]

Originally posted by Smeghead
My question to the OP is why do you care? How are you hurt or offended by overweight people? What business is it of yours??
I think you're misunderstanding the original post. He hasn't said that overweight people have some responsibility to others to get thin. He wonders why they don't, for their own sake. That's why he mentions his friend admitting that every aspect of his life would be better if he were thin, and that he's never met a fat person happy with that situation.

[Doomtrain]

Originally posted by chula
No way. Vegetables, fruit, eggs, milk, bread, beans, rice, etc. are all cheap. Junk foods are the most expensive items in the supermarket.

Not where I shop. A box of pasta that'll last a couple days is about a dollar if you catch the sales right. A box of cheap macaroni and cheese that makes a nice meal for two usually goes for about 79 cents. Milk costs something like four bucks a gallon, more if you're like me and drink soymilk (I have some problems with regular milk). Fruit and vegetables? Don't make me laugh. I can buy bad food for two weeks on what one pound of fruit costs. Eggs? Too expensive, not filling enough.

Soda costs maybe $3 per twelve pack, less if you buy the cheap stuff. Chips are usually buy one get one free, so about $1.79 for two good-sized bags of chips. A pack of cookies, especially the off-brands, are down in the low cents. Candy bars can be bought mucho cheap, especially if you go someplace like Sam's and get the "Whole Damn Family" size.

If they made something healthy that was as cheap as bad food and, dare I say, as tasty...

Now, let's talk diet. This baffled my doctor. Breakfast is a bowl of cereal--not sugar filled, kiddy kind, either--with soymilk. Lunch, if I bother, is a bagel with margarine. Dinner is usually pasta, though I've been mixing in beef and pork lately. I don't buy snacks. I drink diet soda. I'm aware I need fruits and vegetables, but they're too expensive for my limited budget. I've tried some diets, stuck with them a while (2 years, in one case). Nothing happened. I stayed the same.

And it can be hard to exercise, too. I used to spend eight hours a day on my feet at work. The LAST thing I wanted to do when I got home was spend another hour or two on my poor, aching feet jumping around exercising. Gyms? Too expensive. Not to mention the dread Gym Rats. Out walking around my apartment complex? Well, my feet hurt for starters and my complex wasn't the safest place to be out and about at night. And yes, I know losing weight might make my feet not hurt one day in the future, but that day is far off, and I'm not going to spend my day at work hobbling around for future gains that may not even materialize if the gods of metabolism aren't with me.

In the meantime, just to baffle the doctors and naysayers, my cholesterol is low, my heart rate is very normal, and I'm incredibly healthy. The doctor that I went to refused to believe it. She just couldn't wrap her mind around it.

[Smeghead]

Yes, that came off snarkier than intended. My apologies.

[SnoopyFan]

In the meantime, just to baffle the doctors and naysayers, my cholesterol is low, my heart rate is very normal, and I'm incredibly healthy. The doctor that I went to refused to believe it. She just couldn't wrap her mind around it.

Hah! Same here! My cholesterol is 165 :) Yep yep yep! According to the medical community it "should" be sky high :)

[Doomtrain]

Originally posted by SnoopyFan
Hah! Same here! My cholesterol is 165 :) Yep yep yep! According to the medical community it "should" be sky high :)

She was desperate too, as I was describing my diet (as above) she kept jumping in...

"Soda? You should cut out all that soda, all those calories..."
"It's diet. No calories. Just sweet caffiene."
"Oh...and what kind of cereal is it? One of those sugary ones? Cause..."
"No, usually like Raisin Bran or Grape Nuts or something."
"The milk, then, you should try skim milk!"
"I drink soymilk?"
"Oh...well, um, the beef, is it the real fatty stuff, cause you shouldn't eat..."
"It's lean, the leanest I can get, and I don't have it often."

I almost felt kinda bad.

[dwyr]

Why does anyone continue to do what is bad for them when they know better?

At the hospital where I work I see patients admitted with cirrhosis, vomiting up blood because they drink to excess. I've seen these same patients, as soon as they're stable, go right back out and start drinking again. One guy signed himself out of the ICU to do that. I've seen people beg to be admitted for detox because they're so tired of drinking. And I see a good many of them back in the ER, intoxicated, within hours of their release.

For some people (note some) food is much the same problem. I used to binge until sick, the entire time knowing I shouldn't, but it didn't matter. Over the years I've managed, with help, to sort out a lot of the issues involved. Not all, maybe, but enough to help a great deal. Of course, now I've arrived at that time in life when the family curse of joint disease had caught up with me making exercise problematic. Ain't that grand?

I do what I can.

Meanwhile, my brother has smoked himself into an early MI. And does he stop? You can guess the answer to that one.

[Ray Walker]

It's very hard to lose and keep off weight especially in America. I'm not at all overweight but I've seen how people who are go through a lot to lose weight and then don't see satisfactory results. That tends to discourage people.

[SpinnerGirl]

My sister is about 115, goes to the gym, eats semi-healthy and when she was about 7 years old (she's 24 now) her cholesterol was 450 something..... I got lucky, mine was only 252. At 26 it hasn't changed much for me, but then my diet consists of caffeine and perhaps some carbs. But my cholesterol is the same approx...these things are most definitely inherited

[chula]

Originally posted by SnoopyFan
Candy bar at the local grocery: 69 cents, sometimes 4/$1.00
Bunch of bananas: about $1.40 a pound, so figure about $3.00 per bunch.

Gallon of milk: $3.29
Two liter of soda: anywhere from 89 cents to $1.25 depending on brand

One watermelon: about $4.00 these days, they were $5 earlier
Box of clementines: nearly $7
Bag of green seedless grapes: about $3
Bag of baby carrots: $2.50-3, depending on size
Half gallon of ice cream: $1.99


Bag of off-brand frozen chicken, about 7 pieces: $7.99
Pound of the leanest hamburger meat you can buy: about $3.50
Pound of the fatty stuff: about $2
We won't even talk about the price of fish! What a bizarre way to attempt a comparison. For example, there are 4.4 liters per gallon. Here are some accurate average prices for foods, comparing prices per pound:

chocolate chip cookies $2.92
potato chips $3.59
soda (per gallon, 2L size) $4.76
Sorry there aren't more junk food prices available.

bananas $0.52
apples $0.99
oranges $0.87
carrots $0.58
broccoli $1.13
whole wheat bread $1.45
beans $0.76
pasta $0.95
low-fat milk (gallon) $2.50
fresh whole chicken $1.03
extra lean ground beef $2.65

Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics Consumer Price Index (http://www.ers.usda.gov/briefing/CPIFoodAndExpenditures/)

If you bought a pound of each of those foods, you'd have a pretty well balanced diet for about a week that would cost you $13.43 - about the price of two super-sized meals at McDonalds. Actually I would skip the milk and definitely the cereal - it's really expensive and high in carbs.

[capacitor]

The average obese person loses a grand total of 3 pounds from a diet.

Encouraging, huh?

[Tinkertoy]

It's hard to loss weight when you are allowed no exercise. By no exercise I mean not even a walk to the end of the block and back. When I get home from work, I am too tired to fix anything to eat that can't be nuked quickly. Work takes all the strength I have. But I must to keep working so I don't loss my insurance.

I'm one of those fat people you see riding the scooter at Wal-Mart. I get to watch people sneer at me and assume I'm disabled because I'm fat. The opposite is true. When I'm through with the scooter I jump off and walk to my car (which is parked in a handicapped spot by the doors). However if I tried walking through the store you would find me sitting on the floor sweating, panting for air and trying to get my heart to slow down before it stops. Yes that does happen, then the little computer hooked to my heart will shock it back into beating. Hopefully.

The hard part is that I need to loss weight before I am put on a waiting list for a transplant. My cholesterol is around 320 but being a lifelong vegetarian I already eat low-fat healthy meals.

[Dunderman]

Originally posted by capacitor
The average obese person loses a grand total of 3 pounds from a diet.
That's because diets suck. They may cause you to shed some weight, but it will come back. You just can't diet down to your ideal weight and then think you can stay there while living as before. It takes changing your entire lifestyle, top to bottom, says this guy who's been there.

[ParentalAdvisory]

Water: You're already paying the bill every month, drink that, and only that.

Bacon, eggs, and sausage is generally pretty cheap. As well as other meat products.

Basically, stick to an Atkins type diet. And also, do something physical. I cannot stress the physical stuff enough. Too many people think they can go on some kind of Wonder Diet with just watching what you eat. You need to get outside. Fix the car yourself. Do yard work yourself. Do some home projects yourself. Go for a jog. Play sports.

That's great that you people like yourself the way you are. But how do you like it going up the stairs and running out of breath? Do those stretch marks really make you look beautiful?

As to why people don't do it? Mainly I feel it's depression, lack of self esteam, and control. Also there is society to blame. There's two parts to this! So bear with me. Those who think you should be skinny, AND those who are fat saying, "You're beautiful the way you are!". BS!! These are the types that make excuses for themselves. Being "husky" isn't the problem. It's being grossly over weight that is unattractive. And believe me, it is. Sue me. Get off your ass and stop buying "biggie size" fries.

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

On the subject of intolerance of fat people, I had a strange experience last year. I went through a hypomanic period, in which I slept very little for months on end yet still maintained incredibly high energy levels. I was incredibly productive, like I was working under the most stringest of deadlines, nonstop for this entire period.

The most amazing part, though, was that my eating habits changed most markedly of all. I not only ate small portions of healthy foods at well-spaced intervals, BUT I LITERALLY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYONE DIDN'T DO SO, notwithstanding the fact that I myself had been a frequent eater of large portions of moderately unhealthy food for 99.9999% of my life.

For this brief period (2-3 months) my brain was wired differently, and what made eminent sense to me is now (that I've stopped being hypomanic) impossible to attain. I ask myself sometimes "Where did that kind of discipline come from?" , when really there was no discipline or self-control involved. I couldn't understand then why someone would want to pop open a bag of potato chips in the middle of the afternoon, and now I can't understand why someone wouldn't feel a mild pang of hunger two hours after a meal.

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by chula
For example, there are 4.4 liters per gallon.Not to be too much of a nit pick, but a US gallon is 3.78 liters. :)

[ladydisco]

If someone is overweight and still healthy, then losing weight is for pure aesthetics. Not everyone is worried about being Hollywood thin, and they shouldn't be. I really do think there are some happy overweight people - they just value other things over vanity.

I think most people are overwhelmed by all the diet information out there. What really counts in the end is the number of calories consumed, and of course, the the other nutritional value of food like vitamins and minerals. Unfortunately, a lot of food labels are misleading in terms of portion size, which makes calorie-counting pretty tricky. To keep a running tally in your head (or on paper) of calories you've eaten in a day is not fun, but it's something that needs to be done to ensure that you're eating fewer calories. It also keeps you accountable. It's similar to budgeting money. You can spend more here or there depending on what is a want vs a need. You wouldn't likely buy something without knowing the price. I'm not saying you'd have to scrutinize that closely your whole life once the weight is lost, but once you get the hang of it, you can make it part of your lifestyle.

[eeclem]

I must admit I've been a bit of a lurker here, but after ParentalAdvisory's reply I had to jump in.

(I will say that I'm well within my normal weight range now and actually lost a fair amount of weight in recent years)

First of all, advising people with weight problems to eat bacon, eggs and sausage to lose weight? Unless you're a registered dietician or doctor, I'd like to say "WHAT?!" I know Adkins mania is sweeping the country, but come on.

Secondly, being fat is not the only unattractive trait people have. Everyone has something about them that someone else has a problem with, for you it might not be weight. It might be, i don't know, let's say insensitivity. i know a lot of people who would be much more attracted to an enlightened obese person than a jerk who looked like a greek god.

People with weight issues usually aren't just suffering from fat. There are so many other things (emotional, hormonal, etc.) that could be wrong, that advice like "just drink water" won't fix.

And finally, stretch marks also come from LOSING alot of weight

[FairyChatMom]

Originally posted by SnoopyFan
(I personally tried WW three times) Eight times, at least, for me. Best I ever did was dropping almost 50, but it all crept back. Plus more.

When I was younger, I wanted to look better, but comfort food was too important to me. After my daughter was born, convenience meant more than the extra poundage. Now as I'm creeping up on 50, having just recently lost my dad to heart failure, I've started eating right. Interestingly enough, I no longer crave sweets as I used to. I do spend a little more time preparing meals, but I'm saving money by not grabbing a drive-thru biscuit for breakfast or hitting the candy machine mid-morning. The slap of mortality has me more aware of what I eat.

Honestly, if I didn't lose an ounce, but if the way I'm eating will bring down my cholesterol and triglycerides as promised, I'd be happy. The weight loss is a bonus. Apparently for me, I needed more than just vanity - I needed to focus on my health. Here's hoping I can maintain that focus.

[Caricci]

I ask the same question as the OP about smokers. In fact, I will admit to being very, very intolerant of smoking and smokers. But here's the thing about being overweight vs. being addicted to tobacco or alcohol or drugs: I think it's safe to say that overweight people often have an addiction to food (even if it's psycological as opposed to physical - which may or may not be true). Unlike tobacco or alcohol or drugs, it is impossible to cut food out of your life. The temptation is always right there in front of the food addict.

[Shade]

A question for overweight people: What are 100 reasons Kirk is better than Picard?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Seriously, ask yourself - is there nothing you mean to do, but just haven't managed to?

[Earl Snake-Hips Tucker]

To answer the OP, and this is all my own personal experience. YMMV:

Weight gain is such a creeping thing. After a point, you see that you're overweight and you realize you need to start losing weight--probably starting tomorrow.

It's always "tomorrow."

In the meantime, at each meal or snack, you have the attitude, "Well, I'm already fat. One more bad meal isn't going to have much effect."

And it doesn't. But you have to eat again. And again. And again. You have the same attitude. And, of course, you'll always start doing something "tomorrow."

Also, weight loss is slow. You want something that shows results right away. But it takes time, and that is very discouraging.

I started losing weight (don't know how much, but I pulled in a total of six belt holes), almost by accident, 6 years ago. Now, no one would ever say I am skinny, or even thin, but I am at a weight where all my clothes fit, and I'm not self-conscious. It happened over the course of a year, and have been able to keep it off, now for *five years. But that entailed doing some permanent lifestyle adjustments, not going on the latest fad diet (whatever that might be).

*Not to say that I never gain weight. Not at all. But it's only small amounts, and I keep it in check. When I notice it, I start evaluating what I'm doing wrong, and take corrective actions.

[AV8R]

Originally posted by SnoopyFan

When you have tried every weight loss program on the planet, sometimes numerous times (I personally tried WW three times), and it doesn't work, eventually you just give up.
I'm curious why you say WW (Weight Watchers) doesn't work.
Do you mean that after you stop following the program you gain the weight back, or that you never lost any to begin with?

I've been on WW twice, and both times, when I followed the program correctly (ate within my point range and drank the water) I lost weight consistently. (and gradually, averaging about 1.5 pounds per week)

Sure, it can be hard to stay within the point range, but when I go over, I say that I went over, not that WW doesn't work.



But to answer the OP, the problem is that eating something gives immediate satisfaction, but the weight gain comes later. Exercise is immediate effort/pain, but the benefits come later.

[Terrorcotta]

I think the biggest problem is that we don't completly understand the body and it's many quirks yet. If dieting actually worked, people would be less fat. If it were possible to simply not eat or walk 20 mins. then a lot of people *could* do it. 'Could'. Most people WANT to do things but never do. Lots of people have wills made of pure steel but still cannot achieve what they try to do.

I was diagnosed as PCOS and 'insulin resistant'. I lost 90 lbs and have kept it off for 3 years because I have a better idea how my body works. Oddly, it meant throwing out everything I thought I knew about dieting.

[UncleBeer]

I'm gonna shed some unneeded mass from this forum. Hang on to your candy bars while I move this hot potato(e) over to IMHO.

[troub]

Originally posted by SpinnerGirl
. . .considering the amount of overweight people in the country and considering that the average size for a woman is what it is (8 or 10 or 12 or whatever) I'm surprised because being a size 0-4 they are always running low on those sizes in the stores...Why? I thought everyone was so big?

Probably for the same reason I often have difficulty finding a good selection of size 13 shoes (the average is what, 9 or 10?). . .they don't stock as many of that size to start with.

[kputt]

Originally posted by Headcoat
This is specifically for overweight people who make no effort to lose weight - Why?

I'm perplexed because I have a close friend who is overweight, and only getting bigger. He would prefer to be thinner, but he lacks the desire to be thin and does absolutely nothing that would help him lose weight. He indulges in poor eating habits without guilt and does not find his bulging belly to be aesthetically unappealing. He has even admitted that every aspect of his life would be improved if he were thinner, but I don't understand why he makes no initiative to begin a lifestyle change towards that goal.

I've never met a fat person who enjoys being fat. But this is one aspect of a person's appearance and health that is under one's own control and is avoidable. So why do some fat folks just not care enough to improve their bodies?

Simple, lack of motivation. Most fat people, including me, find it hard to find motivation and will power to do it. We know why we should lose it and that life would be better, but that isn't enough motivation. Trying to lose weight is like a chain smoker trying to quit. I for one suffer from a mood disorder (mostly bouts with depression and low self esteem), and I fill up emptyness inside me with food. The best thing for a fat person to do is at first try not to gain any weight. After that, he/she should set a goal of 10 pounds at first, and then go from there. It takes a lot longer to lose weight (and I mean fat. YOu don't want to lose muscle mass and necessary fluids). Pray for your friend so that he/she might receive that necessary motivation to lose weight and to heal up wounds he/she might have.

[kputt]

Junk foods are the most expensive items in the supermarket.

Um, no.

Candy bar at the local grocery: 69 cents, sometimes 4/$1.00
Bunch of bananas: about $1.40 a pound, so figure about $3.00 per bunch.

Gallon of milk: $3.29
Two liter of soda: anywhere from 89 cents to $1.25 depending on brand

One watermelon: about $4.00 these days, they were $5 earlier
Box of clementines: nearly $7
Bag of green seedless grapes: about $3
Bag of baby carrots: $2.50-3, depending on size
Half gallon of ice cream: $1.99


Bag of off-brand frozen chicken, about 7 pieces: $7.99
Pound of the leanest hamburger meat you can buy: about $3.50
Pound of the fatty stuff: about $2
We won't even talk about the price of fish![/b]

This is why poorer people on food stamps are so fat.

[Artemius]

Originally posted by Headcoat
I've never met a fat person who enjoys being fat. But this is one aspect of a person's appearance and health that is under one's own control and is avoidable. So why do some fat folks just not care enough to improve their bodies?

1. Low self-esteem
2. Depression
3. Refusal to take personal responsibility
4. Inability to deal with stress

I'm in the medical profession and some of the worst offenders are nurses. I see so many fat nurses it's disgusting. Sometimes I'll walk thru the employee cafeteria at the hospital as a shortcut. It never ceases to amaze me what I see these people put on their plates.

[kputt]

Artemius, I think you hit it on the head. I agree with 1, 2, and 4 of your list there. However, I think that 1, 2, and 4 lead to number 3 because those 3 are what makes a person "afraid" or "not willing" to take personal responsibility.

[burundi]

Although I'm not overwight, obesity runs in my family and it's something I'm concerned about--both my parents have adult-onset diabetes, which is not fun.

Something that I've noticed is that the typical American lifestyle makes it difficult to exercise. You have to make a conscious decision and often go out of your way to work out. When I lived in England, I lost weight, even though I was drinking a whole lotta beer and eating way too much fish and chips. Why? I didn't have a car, so I walked everywhere, which I could do, since the town I lived in was so pedestrian-friendly. Contrast that with American cities, which have few sidewalks and bike lanes.

[scout1222]

Why I was overweight for so long:

It was "easy".

I didn't have to make time to exercise. I ate whatever was put in front of me, ordered whatever I wanted off a menu, and didn't pay any attention to my portions. No extra work there.

For a long, long while I was unhappy with my shape, but not ENOUGH to warrant making any drastic changes.

I think about food a LOT more now that I'm thin than I ever did when I was heavy. Because now I've got to plan ahead. Now I've got to budget for treats. Now I've got to shop with a list.

Thankfully, I believe that diligence is worth the time and effort. But for many years I did not.

[Tinkertoy]

Originally posted by UncleBeer
I'm gonna shed some unneeded mass from this forum. Hang on to your candy bars while I move this hot potato(e) over to IMHO.

I know that's supposed to be funny, but for some of us it's demeaning.

I eat low-fat, low-calorie and have my entire life. The heart failure did not come from being fat. Rather the fat came from the heart failure. I used to walk several miles every morning now I can't even walk to work four blocks away. No matter how healthy you think you are one little virus can undo a lifetime of taking good care of your body.

[DeadlyAccurate]

I wanted to lose weight. Desperately. I was depressed, hated the way I looked, and thought I was stuck that way forever. It was made worse by the fact that I did plenty of cardio and lifted weights, and yet I was still gaining fat.

My husband read a study that even an extra ten pounds of fat will decrease your life expectancy (sorry, no cite). I didn't want to just accept the way I looked, because it wasn't healthy. My goal is a healthy weight for me (I'm 5'3" and active, so probably 140), not supermodel thin.

In my case it took the Atkins diet before I could lose any weight and more importantly, understand how to eat right. I know all of you anti-Atkins people think it's a terrible diet, but you're forgetting one thing: if I knew how to eat right, I wouldn't have gained weight to begin with. Now I eat only enough to get full without being stuffed, like eating vegetables, drink lots of water and I don't sit around desiring food all the time. I've lost 35 lbs and I still have anywhere from 19-29 lbs to lose (I'm not sure exactly; I'll know when I get there).

I want this bad enough to not backslide when I reach my goal. Like Earl S-H T, and anyone else who has kept weight off for a long time, I'll have to keep it up for the rest of my life.

[Artemius]

Deadly Accurate and other:

Continued success in achieving your goals. You might look into these Human Growth Hormone precursor products that help reduce fat and increase muscle mass. I've talked to a couple of people (women) that shed a lot of weight when combined with their diet and exercise so I bought some but have only been taking them for less than a week.

I'm not overweight (6'0", 173 lbs) and am actually pretty proud of my 50 yr. old physique. I take great pride in how I look and maintaining a healthy weight. I watch what I eat and work out 3-4 times a week (weights and cardio) faithfully. I realize some people are genetically predisposed to being overweight but I just can't accept that argument for the epidemic obesity I'm seeing.

One other key. As the Atkin's diet advocates, pay particular attention to labels and sugar content. Sugar is the evil force and not fat, per se. I try to avoid anything that has over 8 or 9 gms (3 or 4 is even better). of sugar per serving and try to avoid sugar altogether. It stimulates insulin release which results in storage of fat.

[susan_foster]

Originally posted by SnoopyFan
Overweight, checking in.


When you have tried every weight loss program on the planet, sometimes numerous times (I personally tried WW three times), and it doesn't work, eventually you just give up. Why try another diet when all that will happen is you'll lose a little, get tired of the deprivation and then gain it all back and then some?



To get on my WW horse - WW works, if you make it work - and you didn't.

I spent most of my life overweight - obese, in medical terms. I think I agree with those who say it is easier to stay the way you are than to make the change. I know that I spent a lot of time crying over how fat I was - but didn't do anything about it.

Susan

[chula]

Originally posted by kputt
This is why poorer people on food stamps are so fat. Your theory might make some sense if those price comparisons weren't wildly inaccurate.

[chula]

Originally posted by kputt
This is why poorer people on food stamps are so fat. Your theory might make some sense if those price comparisons weren't wildly inaccurate.

[lachesis]

try and cut down on some of the judgmentalism. nearly ANY system works -- when you work it. that does not automatically mean that A system will be workable for ALL people.

another Atkins dieter here. i've only been following it for about 6 weeks. both my husband (who voluntarily took it up also) and i can report measurable progress. both of us still have a darn long way to go, if mere aesthetics is the main criteria. (hubby might faint if he actually knew just how MUCH more i really "ought" to lose.)

why do overweight people stay that way? others have already pointed out the reasons/excuses that probably applied for us. lack of time to exercise (hubby's; mine is i plain ol' flat-out despise the thought of exercising just to exercise. i do hard manual labor with the best of them, but jumping around in a leotard equates to a waste of time in my mind.)

poor understanding of dietary choices would be a reason. since i'm the main meal preparer, i would happily use any number of time-saving mixes or easy-to-fix prepackaged foods when it came time to make dinner. sometimes i'm just not in the MOOD to do a bunch of from-scratch cooking, or i don't have a lot of time (after running other errands before arriving home from work). and some of those timesaving little helpers turned out (with my new Atkins outlook) to have been very bad choices to add to the menu. but i didn't know that at the time, so waddayagonnado?

i'd definitely say that the psychological angle is probably one of the biggest components in the lack of "will power" in dealing with weight issues. learned helplessness could indeed apply for those unfortunate enough to have made numerous unsuccessful attempts at dieting. the expectations that seem built around so many diet schemes can also create disillusionment: "Lose Weight Overnight!" "Eat Everything And Get Thin!" "Follow This Plan For the Body Of Your Dreams!" and the concept of dieting itself has many false assumptions built within many people's minds; they think that merely following some plan, whatever it may be, that allows them to drop weight will make everything alright, and that once they've lost the weight they can go right back to how they used to eat before. if they truly understood that they needed to both cut calories now to drop the pounds AND monitor their eating afterwards to keep the weight off, they might never have bothered starting a diet to begin with.

another interesting psychological component that i'm not sure anyone else has touched on is...avoidance. on a deeply subconcious level, people can sometimes use their fat as a barrier to keep things away from them. so if, say, someone were deeply afraid of being rejected by potential life partners, being fat could be a means of justifying never trying to approach someone in the first place ("Oh, why try to date? No one wants to go out with someone who looks like this?") even more interestingly, it can occasionally be used as a means of cutting down on temptation. you're not likely to worry about being tempted to cheat on your spouse if you've made yourself into someone who's not likely to appeal to a third party out looking to do some foolin' around.

eating to fill an emotional void... to counterbalance a lack of self-esteem... because you're bored and there's nothing better to do... because it temporarily makes you forget about other problems in your life (or gives you something to focus on instead)... there's a zillion reasons why people can be overweight.

one of the worst is that food can just taste so dang GOOD!

[Khadaji]

There are hundreds of reasons. No one can answer definitively. You gain 5 here, 10 there and after the years sneak by you are fat. Losing is a challange, especially if enjoy eating out and drinking socially.

But there are other reasons too, ones that I could never eplain. Further, I know people who eat more sweets and drink more beer than I and are still thin, so it is physical as well.

[SnoopyFan]

To get on my WW horse - WW works, if you make it work - and you didn't.

If WW works, how come so many people fail? I guess they just didn't try hard enough?

I'll concede that some people are willing to do whatever it takes to lose weight: include starve. I *stayed* hungry on WW, ya know why? Partly it WAS my fault, because I was still eating when I wanted to, and not when my body was calling for food. When I did WW, though, they NEVER mentioned "Hey ... eat when you're hungry, not when you're bored. And quit eating after you stop being hungry." It was all about the Points: stay in your range and you're okay. Maybe it's different now, but at the time it was all about that magical number, and nothing to do with WHY you got fat to begin with.

Simply put, for me WW dealt with the symptom (the weight) and not the cause.

I do Weigh Down Workshop now and I have found freedom. I no longer have to follow a bunch of stupid, unnatural food rules and worry about whether or not I'm being "bad" by having a piece of cake. I eat just enough to keep me going (and I eat whatever I want, to boot) and I'm learning what to do when I have "head" hunger instead of stomach hunger. And I'm losing. I'm not losing as quickly as someone on, say, Atkins would be losing, but I'm not depriving myself either and following the "clean" and "unclean" food code anymore. And I don't have to pay $10-$15 a week, either :)

If WW worked for you, that's great. But just because it doesn't work for others doesn't mean they didn't want it to or they didn't "make it work." The human body can only take so much actual hunger before it will drive you to eat.

It's hard to make a plan work when they are only giving you half of the information you need.

[Southerner]

To answer the OP.

I love food. I hate working out ( bores me to tears). The things I enjoy most don't require great physical abilities. I am quite comfortable with who I am. I am fat because I don't burn more energy than I consume,plain and simple. I prefer the easy going, laid back lifestyle. I accept the fact that my lifestyle choice is the reason I am fat.

I don't consider myself to be grossely obese. About 50-60 pounds overweight. My cholesterol is around 190. I am rarely depressed. I am not concerned what other people think. I am a good and decent person with a great sense of humor and I give out smiles all day long. If you don't want to associate with me because I am fat then that is your choice and I won't give it a second thought.Stress is very rare in my life.

Fact of the matter is that I have only one life to live and I fill it with the things I enjoy most when I am not doing the things I have to do to make life easier. If those things I enjoy most were physical activities then I probably wouldn't be fat. If this means that I die sooner than others then so be it , but nobody has any guarantees.

[handy]

I think that everyone has a lifestyle to support the weight they are at.

To change their weight, they would have to change their style.

For some people weight doesn't make them fat--look at muscle guys they are overweight; but not fat. For some people fat is functional, sumo wrestlers, for example, or people who swim in cold water a lot.

Notice that everyone who goes on Survivor loses weight? Shows ya it can be done.

[CharlesW]

New to SDMB here, and also Overweight, but working on it. Why am I overweight? Because I didn't care. I was actually proud of how big I was. 6'4" 400lbs. Claimed I was a proud member of the "Broken Bathroom Scale Club".

You've heard the phrase eat to live or live to eat? I was the live to eat side. I'm a loner, and 100% computer geek. Didn't care what anyone thought of me. Work on computers at work, come home, and get on the computer again. Only exersize I got was walking between my truck, and home/work. Eat infront of the computer at home, and then go to bed, and read for an hour while eating something or other. Always had food in my hand.

I now know that I was eating because I was bored. I started a diet at the end of March. Why start dieting? Because I found a reason to care what I looked like(See the post about successfull diets for that story) Now I only eat 3 meals a day. No munchies inbetween meals. Also started to walk around the block once a night. Only eatting 3 meals I would be sitting at the computer, and realize that I wasn't really doing anything fun, just sitting there thinking about food. Found stuff to do, cleaned my room, washed my truck, Just went out driving, anything that was active. If I stay active I don't think about food, and don't get hungry as much.

Short answer - I was overweight, and didn't loose it because I was bored, and filled my time by eating. Also because I didn't care what I looked like. To see how I got around that read the "What Is Your Successful Diet Story?" thread.

Ok so the short answer wasn't so short either.

[SnoopyFan]

Um, CharlesW?

You're not in the successful diet story thread. I looked.

Are you in the process of writing it or something? :)

[capacitor]

And that's another thing. I see people lose weight, but gain a Molly Holly-type 'holier than thou' attitude, like they lost empathy cells in the process. What's up with that?

[carlotta]

To answer the OP, there are several reasons I'm fat and not trying to lose weight

1)I get to eat whatever I want! Whee! I do try to make the main meals healthy and eat tons more whole grains and veggies than I used to, but I get my treats whenever I want them!

2)I don't get come ons from all kinds of strange men anymore (just from that one special strange man)

3)It sure beats the bulimia I practiced in college

[porcupine]

To echo some of the earlier posts:

For me it was mainly self-esteem.

I'm only moderately overweight now, but I used to be 50 lbs heavier. When I was in my early 20s I was quite thin (perhaps a bit too thin for my build). I gradually gained a bit of weight through my mid to late twenties, then gained 40 lbs all in one year due to medication I was on.

When I was young and thin, I had horrible self-esteem, for a variety of reasons mainly having to do with my total lack of coordination and athletic ability as a kid, along with some health problems (since my body didn't work quite right, it must be ugly, I reasoned) and I always felt horribly embarassed whenever I got any attention from men. I never felt attractive at all. When I gained weight, it was easy to hide behind the weight and keep people away by being the sarcastic fat bitch. Not many people got behind the facade.

A health problem (herniated disk L5 S1) scared me enough to think about seriously losing weight, but it took a while to find something that worked (tried WW, but felt miserably deprived almost all the time, then tried Atkins, which is the right plan for me). My self esteem still sucked, however, but eventually (about halfway to my goal weight) I looked in the mirror and started seeing myself how other people saw me. It was amazing.

Without the health scare, I may never have lost the weight.

[tesseract]

Main reason people don't lose weight:

Diets don't work. Diets treat the symptom (eating too much, eating foods not good for you) rather than what is usually the cause (emotional eating --- eating for reasons other than being hungry). If diets worked, every dieter would only need to go on one diet.

Anyone who:

1) is not at the weight she would like to be, but does not want to diet, and is willing to do some work on her mind/emotions (rather than on her body -- her body will change as her mind does) and more importantly,

2) anyone who attaches any self-worth whatsoever to how fat or skinny she is (most of us) should read Geneen Roth's (http://www.geneenroth.com) books. A good starter is When Food Is Love (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0452268184/002-6675183-2106434?vi=glance) -- but she has many great books. (http://www.fetchbook.info/Geneen_Roth.html)

It's funny, just when I saw this thread I was about to post this letter (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=3745359#post3745359) that I wrote to a cow-orker who complained to me today about her stepdaughter gaining weight. Said cow-orker, a good friend of mine, has been nagging stepdaughter not to eat so much, and to lose weight, "because I care." Mind you, the girl has gained maybe 10 lbs at the most -- this is NOT a health issue. Argh...

[Heart On My Sleeve]

kputt, yours is one of the worst generalizations I've ever heard.

I'm assuming you've studied reports on the relationship between food stamp receivers and their weight?

[CharlesW]

SnoopyFan check again. Yea I got a phone call so it took awhile to write it.

[SenorBeef]

I'm probably an oddity, but...

I'm fat because I don't really have any reason not to be. None that would justify the workload of not being fat.

I'm even quite capable of being non-fat - I have an iron will and in the past, through a strict adherence to diet and LOTS of excercise, I lost around 200 pounds of fat in 8 months. 160-170 of actual weight, but due to extensive strength training I'd gained an estimated 30-40 pounds of muscle.

Anyway - I lost all the weight for various reasons - one of them was to try out the idea that society seems to impose that your life gets better if you become unfat.

Well, it didn't. I made a *huge*, *dramatic* change - 370 to a well-muscled 200 - and my life didn't improve one bit.

Way too many people let their physical appearance affect their self esteem. I was the same way as a kid, and being fat can certainly screw you up. But I grew up, I guess, and realized that it was stupid to take stock and base my self-identity and self-esteem based off shallow perceptions of mean-spirited idiots. And so I don't rely on others for validation for my self esteem.

As such, I didn't go from timid to confident, from having a bad self image to a good one - it was unchanged, since it wasn't based on my weight.

I was healthier, certainly, but for various reasons I have no expectation of living more than a few years, so that didn't and doesn't concern me. If that changes, and I do expect to live a long time, well, I can always end up doing it again for health reasons.

Of course, being in good shape was nice in itself - but not nice enough, in itself, to justify all the effort expended to be that way.

Women took a greater interest in me, of course - which is to say, greater than zero - but that didn't really do anything for me. For various reasons, I don't suspect I'll ever be able to maintain any sort of intimate, long term relationship. And I'm simply not interested in banging random chicks. Of course, I might miss that one in a million dream girl that comes into my life - but if weight is a factor in her rejecting me, then is she really a dream girl anyway?

I don't think I'm any less of a hard case than other fat people. Some of them look at my story and think that I'm not a real hard-up case like they are because I managed to lose the weight, and naturally, they couldn't. So it was just easier for me than it would be for them. Bullshit. I'm about as genetically wired to be fat as any of them are - except the extreme cases - I just worked harder than almost all of them had ever tried.

Not that I blame any sort of genetic disposition or anything. While some people are more prone to being fat than others (there are lots of people I know that eat worse/more than me and don't have an ounce of fat on their body), ultimately, except perhaps in the most extreme .001% of cases, it's fixable. So the responsibility ultimately lies on them. I really hate anyone who tries to skirt that responsibility and claim something else is responsible for them being fat.

I'm somewhere near 340 now - I've gained about 40-60 pounds per year normally since I was 16 or so. I lost all that weight 3 (or 4? I can't remember, honestly) years ago - and have regained it at about 25-30 pounds a year since. I managed that relatively low rate by simply cutting all of the pop out of my diet and drinking water instead. The weight loss thing wasn't a total loss - had I not done it, I'd probably weigh like 500+ pounds right now. I'm probably going to end up losing 40-50 pounds soon just to keep things from getting to the point where being too fat is a handicap. I've still got a decent bit of muscle under all this, so it's not like I'm debilitatingly fat.

So, anyway, as to the OP, I'm fat. And I could fix it - as pretty much everyone can - but in my case, I know for sure that I could - but it's simply not worth it.

Health? Not an issue. Self esteem? Don't need to be physically attractive for it. Women? Meh. So it's cost-benefit analysis - minimal gain of feeling a little better at the cost of huge, dramatic life style changes and effort. Not worth it, unless something comes along that requires me becoming unfat.

[kputt]

Originally posted by Heart On My Sleeve


kputt, yours is one of the worst generalizations I've ever heard.

I'm assuming you've studied reports on the relationship between food stamp receivers and their weight?




Well maybe I said something wrong. I wanted to say that based on a government study of some sort (according to the media), that people on these welfare food programs are overweight because of the food that they are allowed to buy with this stamps or whatever, and you know that the food they are allowed to buy isn't healthy at all. I've noticed healthy foods and name brands, which are generally more healthy are more expensive than your junk food and your no-name brands aren't.:smack:

[astro]

Originally posted by Headcoat
This is specifically for overweight people who make no effort to lose weight - Why?

I've never met a fat person who enjoys being fat. But this is one aspect of a person's appearance and health that is under one's own control and is avoidable. So why do some fat folks just not care enough to improve their bodies?

The body wires in various preferences and behavioral tendencies in certain environments to minimize activity and maximize consumption. This would be great if we were cave men but it is is deadly in a high abundance, low physical activity environment.

Fighting against your own wired in brain and environmental programming nature is extraordinarily difficult. If you are a heavy tending person who has lost weight and wants to keep it off you are always dieting. There is no point at which you can stop and say "I'm not fat anymore. Problem solved!"

It is mentally and emotionally exhausting to maintain a diet. Thin or otherwise non-fat people have absolutely no conception of this. None. Their appetite control is taken care of automatically by their brains, and pushing away from the table or saying "no" to a snack requires only a fraction of the mental discipline and effort a fat tending person has to generate to reach the same conclusion, over and over and over again.

Fighting against one's nature is very difficult and after awhile people just get tired and give up and simply quit fighting, and make the best cease-fire deal they can with their appetite and environment.

[handy]

I have a friend who said she gained alot of weight once so that men wouldn't be attracted to her & she wouldn't have to deal with that kind of attention.

[filmore]

For some people, not eating as much can be like not masturbating all the way.

If you want to see how hard it is to change your eating habits, try this. Have porn scattered around your house. Look at the porn often throughout the day but do nothing about it. When you're watching tv and a food comercial comes on, start leafing through a porn magazine. Three times a day masturbate almost to the point of orgasm but never let yourself actually have the orgasm. How long do you think you could keep doing that? I bet many people couldn't last a day. Now imagine having that feeling week after week, month after month. It's tough.

But it can be done. Just don't fool yourself into thinking some simple solution will make it happen. It takes a lot of willpower to control bad eating habits. People who have a normal metabolism don't have to deal with the same food struggles as the really obese.

Gosh I wish masturbation burned more calories...

[Ximenean]

Funnily enough, I've just lost my appetite.

[Marsie]

I have "dieted" my way to 250+ lbs. I have gone on every diet imaginable. Sometimes I have the "willpower" to stay on them, sometimes not.

My pediatrician had me on diet pills when I was in fourth grade. My mother and grandmother hounded me over every bite I put in my mouth my entire childhood. My first husband told me after one successful diet that he would leave me if I ever gained weight again. (Guess what happened?)

I have gone to every diet doctor, shrink, diet program, Overeaters Anonymous etc. that exists. Last year I went on anti-seizure medication that a local hospital based program prescribed "off-label." I lost maybe 10 lbs., but slept 20 hours a day. The only thing that I haven't done is get a bypass. I'm too scared to do that.

I'm a smart woman. I have a happy, stable marriage. I own a successful business. I have good friends. I am a good friend.
But, I'm fat. Fatter than I ever imagined I would be.

I am hungry all of the time. I crave sweets non-stop. I know that other people don't feel this way. This goes way beyond willpower.

My doctor is concerned that my blood sugar levels are high. I feel as if I am eating myself into an early grave. God, if I can't diet when my health is at risk...

Guess I feel pretty sorry for myself. I hate it that people look at me and think that I don't care how I look, am a slob, etc. I dress well, wear tasteful makeup and my hair is terrific. I probably shouldn't worry what other people think, but I'm not stupid.

Has anyone out there ever overcome this weight thing?

[SnoopyFan]

I'm overcoming, Marsie. 43 pounds gone, but I still have a long way to go. But I'll get there someday.

Where in Kentucky are you from, btw? I grew up near Paducah.

[Cyn]

Why am I overweight?
I'm a nurse; I know how to eat properly, I know the benefits of exercise and not smoking. I don't smoke--never did, parents didn't, never took up the habit. I eat fairly well with a little junk food (and too-large helpings---I know what a proper serving size is). I walk miles while I work. I don't jog, power-walk or tae-bo.
Why am I overweight?
I'm tall, I'm good-looking, I have 2 teenagers, why do I need to be less fluffy? People are constantly surprised that I'm 40. They say I look at least ten years younger. I'm luckily and through no doing of my own blessed with good genes. I'm a curvy woman. I'm Hispanic---my culture celebrates a "healthy" look. When I was 5, I sat next to a kid I knew slightly and stated to him "You're fat". He answered "My mom likes me this way". I delightedly responded "Mine, too!" I had meant no offense and he took none.
I'm in excellent health and the BMI says I'm overweight at 5'9" and 190 lbs. I don't diet and I don't binge. I don't drink much alcohol and I drink a lot of Diet Pepsi.
That's why I'm overweight.

[kputt]

I'm overweight because of emotional eating.

[ParentalAdvisory]

Originally posted by eeclem

First of all, advising people with weight problems to eat bacon, eggs and sausage to lose weight? Unless you're a registered dietician or doctor, I'd like to say "WHAT?!" I know Adkins mania is sweeping the country, but come on.



Uh..., last time I checked, cheese, bacon, sausage, and eggs are all approved for the atkins diet. In fact, it's encouraged.

[norinew]

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find an obese adult who hasn't at least tried, at some point, to do something about their weight. I've been up and down the scale, with numerous different plans. But I didn't find one that felt like a real solution for me until about 8 months ago, and since the first of the year, I've lost almost 60 pounds. But I'll tell you why, for years prior to that, I did nothing. I had bought into a popular diet industry mantra that says "You can eat anything, if you eat it in moderation". This might be true of some people, even a lot of people, but it's not true of me. I'm addicted to sugar; white flour, white rice and white potatoes spike my blood sugar, setting off my cravings which sets off my binging. I finally came to the realization that I'd just have to give those things up for good if I wanted to be successful at weight loss. But, before I implemented this plan, any time I was losing weight, the weight-loss was an all-consuming thing. I spent all my time planning food, thinking about food, craving food and fighting the cravings. This was an effort I could only sustain for limited amounts of time. With the new plan, I often don't feel any desire to eat between meals, so it's not so time and energy-consuming.

There's one thing that hasn't been mentioned, and it surprises me: unattainable goals. The media almost always shows people as being really fat, or perfect. Movies, TV, magazines, all seem to send the same message: it's OK to be fat, but if you're not fat, you must be a size 2. I'm never gonna be a size 2. I'm hoping for a 16! But I dare say that there are some fat people who think, "If I can't attain the ideal, why bother trying?"
I'm losing weight for my health. Somehow, I've managed to reach my 40s being relatively healthy in spite of my obesity, but statistically, I wasn't going to remain that way. I want to grow old and be healthy. Looking better is merely a bonus.

[Napier]

It wasn't that hard to manage alcoholism - had nightmares about drinking for a couple of years, but have been dry since October '86.

Food is much harder. Right now I am down 90 lbs from where I was a year ago, and very worried about whether it is all going to go back on. I have been able to just quit eating, but for no longer than four days - that's not the solution, but is moderation possible?

I liked the post from pseudotriton ruber ruber about the hypomanic period a year ago - there is a world of truth there, sad to say.

If you watch people do these things with such horrible consequences, when you shake your head you should be thinking "I guess that means there is some reason, whatever it is."

[shrew]

My question is specifically for uneducated people who make no effort to go to university - Why?

I'm perplexed because I have a close friend who is uneducated, and only getting further and further behind. He would prefer to be better educated, but he lacks the desire to study and does absolutely nothing that would help him become less ignorant. He indulges in poor study habits without guilt and does not find his vapid mind to be personally unappealing. He has even admitted that every aspect of his life would be improved if he were better educated, but I don't understand why he makes no initiative to begin a lifestyle change towards that goal.

I've never met a college dropout who enjoys being that. But this is one aspect of a person's life that is under one's own control and is avoidable. So why do some uneducated folks just not care enough to improve their lives?

[nashiitashii]

Posted by chula

What a bizarre way to attempt a comparison. For example, there are 4.4 liters per gallon. Here are some accurate average prices for foods, comparing prices per pound:

chocolate chip cookies $2.92
potato chips $3.59
soda (per gallon, 2L size) $4.76
Sorry there aren't more junk food prices available.

bananas $0.52
apples $0.99
oranges $0.87
carrots $0.58
broccoli $1.13
whole wheat bread $1.45
beans $0.76
pasta $0.95
low-fat milk (gallon) $2.50
fresh whole chicken $1.03
extra lean ground beef $2.65

Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics Consumer Price Index

If you bought a pound of each of those foods, you'd have a pretty well balanced diet for about a week that would cost you $13.43 - about the price of two super-sized meals at McDonalds. Actually I would skip the milk and definitely the cereal - it's really expensive and high in carbs.

Last year I went up to college for the first time, opting to cook for myself and not indulge in the concept of a meal plan. After 19 years of eating what happened to be around, I realized that most of the foods I was offered back home weren't really what I actually wanted or needed when I was hungry. Chula is right about the cost of foods; when I went grocery shopping every 3-4 weeks, I spent no more than $25 at each trip, and most of the time I was buying stuff that would actually sustain a healthy diet. Granted, a good portion of what I was eating was pasta and rice infused with vegetables and the occasional meat source, and a snack was often peanut butter, but I was eating a balanced diet for once in my life. I lost about 20+ lbs. while away, and a good portion of me losing that much had to do with the fact that I was walking to all my classes and a great many of the placees I had to go instead of using the on-campus bus system or getting rides from friends unless it wasn't within walking distance.

I spent this summer at home, and have gained back about 5 lbs. due to less physical activity (it's difficult to get in all the activity that I did with my work schedule and the complete lack of interesting places to wander off to within walking distance of my mother's house) and my mother's obsession with carbohydrate food. I realized some things while away; my mother and I have tastes in food that differ so much on a daily basis that I might as well just cook two different meals most of the time. She loves potatoes and bread, whereas I went months without them without feeling deprived while up at school.
It's all a matter of finding out what your body craves when it's hungry and fueling that specific hunger. It took me a long time to learn it, and I had been overweight despite more intense exercise in high school (I was a starter on the varsity volleyball team and played year round for a couple of seasons but still was rather chunky). It's not easy to start, but becomes easier once you get into the swing of it. I don't blame most overweight problems on just lack of willpower because I know what it's like to be miserable about being overweight and exercising as much as I can fit it into my schedule and eating properly but still not losing weight.
[Note: in my senior year of high school, I was 5'10" and 205 lbs, wearing a 16 or an 18. By the end of my freshman year of college, I weighed 180 lbs. and wore 13/14 most of the time, but occasionally wore 11/12 in clothes. At the moment, I'm just wearing 14. The weight will come right back off once I get more active again.]

[Quartz]

Coldfire, just a nitpick but the Imperial gallon is approx 4.4 (nearer 4.5) litres. :D

I'm modestly fat - I'm 6'4" and 16 stone - and I could do with losing a stone or converting a stone of fat into muscle. My waist measurement is 38" and my belly is 44". I eat plainly - mainly at the canteen at work - with little fat intake, and drink moderately, but I have a very high-stress job. I simply don't take enough exercise. Next year, I will be walking to work which will help immensely. I expect my weight to remain static but lose my belly.

[Shaolinrabbit]

I'm a tad overweight myself, and recently lost 20 pounds on Atkins(Still doing it.) which is entirely unrelated, but just wanted to let you know where I'm coming from.

I have a good friend who is overweight, and as she regularly complained about being overweight(In a good natured, friendly conversation, sort of way, but it did bug her a lot.) I would often try to help her out with ideas and suggestions.

The big problem was a knee injury she'd had that effectively prevented a lot of exercise options, and she really didn't eat much that would cause the issue outright, tended to have a good diet and such. So, we hit a stalemate and her best option was to simply be as happy as she could be(And keep an eye out for a more effective solution.)

[GingerOfTheNorth]

Originally posted by capacitor
The average obese person loses a grand total of 3 pounds from a diet.

Encouraging, huh?
I'd like a cite for this, please. I have lost 41 lbs on my current 'diet', and another friend has lost approximately 60.

Weight Watchers worked, for both of us. I think you just have to make it work.

[MLS]

Seconding with what Copa just said. I gained a lot of weight when I was forced to be sedentary for a long time after an injury to my knees and spine. After that a vicous cyle sets in -- when you hurt, you can't move much, so you gain weight, which makes it still harder to move around.

A number of you who are extolling the benefits of sensible diet and exercise seem to be college-age or not too far beyond it. After you pass the grand old age of 35 or 40, your metabolism does change. The same amount of food and exercise (if you are capable of it) equates to weight gain. Add to that a physical problem such as injury, arthritis, sciatica, bursitis, or any of a host of similar problems, and the person often can't exercise easily.

Myself, I'm tying really, really hard to get into better shape. I eat a reasonably moderate diet -- no weird fad diets that I won't be able to continue with. I put in between 3 - 5 hours of intense cardio and weight exercise every week, under the supervision of a trainer at a gym. The first 3 months I gained 4 pounds. Another 3 months and I got back almost to the weight I was before I started working out.

This is very, very difficult to continue, and becomes demoralizing to work so much doing something so tedious, boring and time-consuming, and getting so little in return. After a while you start to think seriously of all the enjoyable things you could have done, and what other things you could have accomplished in that 3 - 6 hours.

[suezeekay]

How can a baby develop low self-esteem or be unable to accept personal responsiblity, or be depressed? I look at my baby pictures, pictures at 3 or 4, and in elementary school, and I was always fatter than anyone else. My parents and siblings are normal weight. I 've been on one diet or another ever since I can remember, first with my mother in charge because I was too young, and then on my own. My whole life is worrying about what I eat. I'm not depressed and I willingly accept that I'm responsible for what I eat. I had a great career in a high-paying job and never felt low-self-esteem. I do weights and swim 45 laps a week. It seems that my body wants to be fat. Fortunately all my markers are fine, normal blood pressure, chol, etc. I just hate dragging around all this exta weight. I've been hungry most of my life.

[irishajo]

Originally posted by Headcoat
. . .every aspect of his life would be improved if he were thinner

This is false. If your friend loses weight, he might have more energy and a better life. He might stave off death for a few more years. There's no guarantee. My obese grandmother is still alive and doing as well as anyone at her age (early 80s). My thin-as-a-rail grandfather has been dead for years.

I am like SenorBeef, in that I have lost quite a bit of weight due to diet and exercise, but my life did not improve. In fact, I was disappointed in the results. I have learned to accept my body. If my friends can't deal with it, they are not my friends.

[MemoryGongs]

maybe a better question is why do fat people have to put up with questions like this


your tone implies the same kind of disgust if you were asking why is someone a pedophile?

for fucks sake, leave obese people alone.......thats the way they are...deal with it......you dont like it dont look....

[Susanann]

I think the answer is very simple, why make it more complicated than it is:

Because they get more enjoyment out of eating, than running.

Eating can give pleasure. If you dont enjoy doing strenuous activities more than you enjoy eating prime rib and cake, you will get overweight.