View Full Version : Feline Psychosis is Treatable: And no you can't get a Movie for the Cat!
07-31-2003, 07:24 AM
As many of you know the Phlosphr household has grown in the past months by one 5 pound piece of Fuzz called Minmei (http://www.orecatay.com/images/photos/sir-muggles.jpg) . Now she is growing, growing, growing....sufficed to say we are training her to not climb the walls, and she has taken a liking to her kitty palace so much so that sometimes she doesn't even come out when we open the door in the morning. For all intents and purposes she's a normal little siamese. Loves to talk all day, chase mothes (she nabed a luna moth the other day and didn't know what to do with it) And she doesn't like Praying Mantis...long story.
The Kitty isn't the problem. My wife has entered into some form of kitty transcendental psychosis...she leaves the TV on when we go out so the kitty can watch it...:confused:
She ignores me completely if she has the cat on her belly resting.
And it culminated in a fit of wonder upon my part when she asked if we could get a movie for the kitty the other day...The Lion King...
I have a wonderful relationship with my wife. She and I get along great. She's currently working on a Text Book and is gone most of the day, so I'm with Minmei all day long. When she get's home she only wants to play with the kitty.
Is there such thing as feline mind control? Sometimes when I am typing up in my office I can feel a weight on my neck. The hair on my forearms rises slowly and goose bumps pop up everywhere. And I can feel two ice-blue eyes staring at me and only me...when I turn there she is sitting in the doorway glaring at me, expressionless. It's rather eery at times.
The when my wife get's home she leaps to joy and meriment like a schizophrenic badger on massive doses of methamphetamine.
So last night I submitted to the torture and played with the little weasel for an hour or so. She got a healthy dose of cat-nip before bed and was out for the count the entire night. Now this morning my wife is down stairs giving the kitty some milk and the day begins again. When she leaves the cat will be up here for sure.
So can cat's read your thoughts? Control your mind? or induce a general sense of not being in control anymore? :)
I know, I know, I know. I need updated photo's I'll try soon.
07-31-2003, 09:16 AM
Um... Now you understand when we say "You don't own cats, they own you."
07-31-2003, 12:01 PM
Are all cats literally like this?
07-31-2003, 12:52 PM
well, Phlosphr, you've got to understand some of the dynamics going on here.
you have a kitten
you are married to a Female
kittens display all the physical aspects of babyhood (small size, rounded forehead, oversized eyes/ears/feet)
Females are genetically wired to respond to signs of babyhood, often more strongly than Males
many Females also have a tendency to respond to cats, regardless of the age factor
q.e.d., your wife, who is Female, is responding to the doulbe biological imperative to nuture, watch over and otherwise be involved with kitten to the (temporary, one hopes) near-exclusion of all else.
bright spot: some of this fixation ought to diminish when overt signs of babyhood have been outgrown. but i'd suggest you start putting in strong bids now to keep yourself visible in the "Items I Need to Check On Occasionally" category, so it will be easier for you to re-advance in the priorities list once the kitten phase has passed.
rots of ruck.
now, you could be subtle about this. try, when wife and kitten are merging into symbiotic physical proximity, going over and either actively petting kitten to show you are a willing part of the Hive Mind, or (if you're daring) actually picking up kitten and cuddling in full view of wife. (has the one-two combo of showing Solidarity With Kitty while simultaneously separating wife and kitten.)
why yes, i AM devious. why do you ask?
07-31-2003, 12:54 PM
No, all cats are uniquely like themselves ... like this.
07-31-2003, 01:32 PM
Didn't we try to warn you that this would happen?
07-31-2003, 03:16 PM
I'm wondering whether you guys are planning on ever having kids. If you are, you will fondly look back at your time with the cat.
BTW, it is really not a Good Idea to give milk to cats, in spite of the common stereotype. It can have unfortunate digestive side effects in those past the normal weaning age. These side effects will not be fun to clean up after.
"There are many intelligent life forms in the galaxy. They are all owned by cats."
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein
And that kitten is adorable.
07-31-2003, 07:06 PM
You'd better watch it. My parents have two cats. One of them loves everyone equally and firmly believes the feeling is returned - he'll approach strangers in the street to demand cat adoration. He's not the problem. The other cat is my mother's and only my mother's. He tolerates everyone else (unless you're feeding him, in which case he's your best friend) but that's the extent of it. This cat wants to kill my father. I've seen the look in his eyes when my father is in the room - it's genuinely homicidal. He hasn't tried anything yet, but you just know he's waiting for the right time to strike.
The moral of the story for Philosphr? If this cat bonds exclusively with your wife, you might want to watch your back. Some day your wife might come home and find you've had a little accident, and no one would even think of blaming such a cute and innocent looking little fuzzball. ;)
Oh, and the cats have been known to watch tv. They're particularly fond of sports like hockey where you've got lots of movement on the screen, but one of them (the non-homicidal one) once spent the better part of an hour intently watching a documentary on cougars. I guess he was interested in his distant relatives.
07-31-2003, 09:33 PM
You'll know that she is beyond the point of no return when she purchases a copy of "The Cat Show" video for your cat to watch on TV.
08-01-2003, 12:24 AM
You don't just have a cat, Phlosphr. If that photo is any indication, you have The Cutest Cat On Earth. And she's Siamese, so that just compounds the effect.
Originally posted by Phlosphr
...or induce a general sense of not being in control anymore? :)Aw, it's so cute when someone doesn't know what's happened to him. You're getting that general sense of not being in control anymore because, in short, you're not. The cat owns the household now, and she's very shrewdly chosen to control your wife completely. First.
The bright side is that they get far less cute as they age. On the other hand, they get smarter and better at manipulating you. At least you won't have to pay for her college.
08-01-2003, 12:51 AM
You need to remember that
a) All cats are insane.
b) Siamese, of any stripe, doubly so.
c) Feline insanity is often cross-species contagious.
For the most part, yeah, they all spend part of the day staring at you, without seeing you. They also spend part of the day staring at blank spots on the wall, attacking invisible things that scuttle across the floor, waging life or death struggles with paper bags/cardboard boxes...
The insanity does tend to lessen in intensity, as a function of age. This, too, is cross-species. Cat gets a little less insane*, she gets a little less insanely obsessed with the cat... life approaches something vaguely similar to normal. For varying degrees of normal.
Oh, and watch out for that "leaving the TV on for the pets" business. If not checked early, it leads to a full blown psychosis, wherein turning the TV off for any amount of time, or any reason, becomes seemingly impossible.**
*Actually, I think what happens is not so much that they get less crazy as they do lazier, thereby exhibitng fewer instances of lunacy, not because they's any less whacko, but because they sleep more hours of the day.
**Well, maybe that's just my MIL. But the only time her friggin' TV is off is when the power's out. It all started with "leaving it on for the dog while we're out." If no one in the house is awake, including the dog, it's still on.
08-01-2003, 08:16 AM
Originally posted by Skeezix
If no one in the house is awake, including the dog, it's still on.
And this is a problem how????
If the cat wants the TV on, she will turn it on herself if you don't leave it on. Trust me on this!
08-01-2003, 09:17 AM
Phlosphr, I have a gently used copy of The Lion King I can mail you if you email me your address. Then at least you aren't out any rental fees.
08-01-2003, 09:24 AM
mrs jjimm is pretty much the same. It's a child substitute thing.
08-01-2003, 10:18 AM
May I suggest a couple other feline favorites for viewing pleasure.
Homeward Bound and Cats and Dogs.
No, I'm sorry. I can't send mine. I have 3 cats ya know. :p
08-01-2003, 11:33 AM
My friends, a married couple, have a couple miniature weiner dogs (I can't spell "dachshund") and the wife is the same way about them. We've completely given up on them ever coming to our house anymore because she cannot bear to leave them. (I don't know how she manages to go to work everyday.)
I think it's like jjimm says, it's a child substitute thing.
I think you should follow lachesis' advice and insert yourself in there somehow before you get left out in the cold. Although like she also said, it will diminish as the kitty becomes a cat.
08-01-2003, 12:21 PM
get used to it,Phlosphr. Kitties own humans, otherwise why would we do the things we do for them? :) CG and I have turned our home upside down (almost quite literally) to please our pair of munchkin-sized mutant kitties.
Our cats have also turned on the TV and the Answering machine when it pleased them. One of our cats, Rumpleteazer, also goes into the cabinets after food/treats when she feels like it and is not adverse to climbing to the top of the fridge to reach the bananas on occassion.
08-01-2003, 03:38 PM
I would choose my cats over anyone.
Which scares me.
08-04-2003, 07:50 AM
It's been a while since I posted. had an UBER busy weekend. I guess I must reserve myself to the fact that minmei is going to be queen. I still have my dog who can at least come outside with me. And do what I say. The cat and wife tend to ignore me. Well not right now. We have a little rumbling thunder right now and she's under my desk at my feet. We're re-grappling with the idea of declawing her, we can not keep her off the walls, seriously.
08-04-2003, 12:40 PM
i know every else generally screams "Don't declaw, you meanie!"
me, i can only recall 1 cat from a lifetime of cats that was allowed to keep her claws. they were all indoor cats, they all seemed to live pretty happy lives, furniture and clothes were not shredded, lap did not become a mass of pinprick hematomas whenever cat decided to "make itself comfy" and kneaded away.
your cat will, if not actually forgive you for the indignity, most probably forget/ignore that it ever happened.
08-04-2003, 07:33 PM
If you're going to do it, do it now while she's still young. It's easier on her. Our vet tech has more than once bemoaned the fact that we didn't declaw either of ours when they were little and now we're paying the price because of their fighting and whatnot.
I, of the "Do not Declaw" camp, have even considered doing it for their own good. Not because I like nice things. I don't mind ratty furniture..really.;) It's just that I don't want them nearly killing each other if something happens to make them seriously upset with each other again.
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